Overheard at Work

[Ayanka]

T-Rex: investing is not for everyone, if you freak out completely when a 10% correction happens, it might not be a good idea for you. This guy might be better off in an "investment" that is not in the stock market (eg: Real Estate). Just my opinion.

[S0VERE1GN]

My Boss attempting to convince me to trade my fairly fuel efficient hyundai for a truck with payments because "now you're  a homeowner, you'll need it"

i kindly informed him of the cost of a trailer and hitch.

[warfreak2]

My Boss attempting to convince me to trade my fairly fuel efficient hyundai for a truck with payments

Misery loves company.

[ketchup]

Overheard someone turning down lunch out saying "It's just too expensive."

"....got to pay off all those skybox seats." 

[warfreak2]

Even Captain Picard thinks skybox seats are a huge waste of money, and he drives to work in a spaceship.

[abuzzyisawesome]

I try to avoid finance conversations at my office - put sometimes it happens. We have two older cars, completely paid for. They are about 10-15 years old, standard replacement costs at this point. Belt breaking, new brake pads, struts...that sort of thing. Every time they see my husband and I carpooling or heaven forbid I mention a repair - I get the standard response: "Why don't you both just buy a new car?"

Side note - we are a yearly contract shop - and rumors are that we may not get renewed next year. My goal has been to eliminate all debt and build a nice-sized emergency fund by  the end of our fiscal year. Everyone here is in the exact same position. When I mention this fact: "Oh, it's never certain if you have a job, you may as well buy one. I've decided I'm just going to have a car payment the rest of my life."  Um, yeah. It is never completely certain anyone will keep a job, but I sure as hell am not going to get a $400 a month car payment while I wait to see if I still have a job next year!

[CommonCents]

Even Captain Picard thinks skybox seats are a huge waste of money, and he drives to work in a spaceship.

lol :)

[the fixer]

Technically he commutes in a Turbolift... driving the spaceship is his job, not his commute.

[mgarl10024]

FYI- most people probably already know this but you should pretty much buy the cheapest HDMI cable you can. No difference in quality.  They work or they don't.

But what about the gold plated connections?!

[warfreak2]

FYI- most people probably already know this but you should pretty much buy the cheapest HDMI cable you can. No difference in quality.  They work or they don't.

But what about the gold plated connections?!

An HDMI cable carries digital data, so it either works perfectly or doesn't work at all. You don't pay extra for gold connectors on USB cables or network cables, either.

[Fonzico]

Sadly, I've got one to add.

Fellow at work, in his early 30s, up to his eyeballs in debt. I know for a fact that he is still making car payments for a car he doesn't have, on top of the ones for his current car, both to one of those predatory dealership for people with bad credit. I'm confident that's just the tip of the iceberg, as far as debt goes.

Anyhow, yesterday he requested to take out some of his vacation pay so he can put new speakers into his car. How is this a priority?! It's so sad. And not the first time he's done this either, and then been upset when he didn't have enough vacation hours to actually take a vacation. Sigh.

[sherr]

FYI- most people probably already know this but you should pretty much buy the cheapest HDMI cable you can. No difference in quality.  They work or they don't.

But what about the gold plated connections?!

An HDMI cable carries digital data, so it either works perfectly or doesn't work at all. You don't pay extra for gold connectors on USB cables or network cables, either.

As an Electrical Engineer perhaps I can elaborate.

High-quality connectors are important for analog signals - where the information is transmitted as an electrical "wave" where the amplitude (height), frequency (length), and exact shape of the wave all carry information that must be retained in order to reproduce the original signal most accurately. Bad connectors / cables can affect analog signals either by smoothing out things that should not be smoothed out or by adding noise that introduce things that were not originally there. Either way this would make the received signal not quite the same as the transmitted signal, which will lower the quality of the reproduction. Examples of information stored or transmitted analogly are vinyl records, old-style TV channels, the RCA cable format, and two-wire speaker cables.

Digital signals transmit information differently. On digital signals information is transmitted either as a high voltage, a "1", or a low voltage, a "0". There must be some form of tiny computer at each end to encode / decode the information into / from the stream of 1's and 0's. There can be almost any amount of noise introduced along the way; as long as the receiving computer is able to distinguish between a 1 or a 0 then no information is lost or added. High-quality connectors and cables are not important for digital signals; either the amount of noise is large enough that it overwrites the signal (in which case nothing will work) or it's not (in which case everything will work perfectly). Examples of digital signals are CD / DVD / Blu-ray, HDMI or DVI cables, digital TV channels, USB, Ethernet, optical sound cables, and pretty much every other form of computer cable.

This is why CDs do not wear down and their sound quality doesn't degrade over time, like records do. Either the CD perfectly (up to the format's limits) reproduces the sound or it's scratched and can't be read at all. Either the video / sound quality from a digital TV channel is perfect, or it's completely messed up as long as the branch (or whatever) is blocking the signal. There's no fuzzy sound or fuzzy picture like their use to be for analog TV channels with less-than-perfect reception.

If a $5 HDMI cable works at all then it will produce exactly the same picture quality as a $100 HDMI cable. The marketing people are merely lying and scamming you. This is why James Randi is offering $1 Million to anyone who can demonstrate the superiority of their expensive digital cables over cheap ones, and why no one has taken him up on it yet.

[ketchup]

And gold-plated connections don't conduct any better.  In fact, they conduct worse, but are more corrosion resistant, which is their only potential benefit.  But the only reason anyone buys them is because they think they look fancy.

[Wiggle]

And gold-plated connections don't conduct any better.  In fact, they conduct worse, but are more corrosion resistant, which is their only potential benefit.  But the only reason anyone buys them is because they think they look fancy.

Yep, gold is more resistant to wear and tear but it is not as good a conductor as silver and copper.

[rocksinmyhead]

sherr, thank you for that amazingly clear explanation for the layperson!

[BlueHouse]

This is why James Randi is offering $1 Million to anyone who can demonstrate the superiority of their expensive digital cables over cheap ones, and why no one has taken him up on it yet.

I love James Randi.  Ever see his TV specials on pseudo-sciences, astrology, ESP, etc?  Fantastic. 

Back to topic, I worked with a girl who got stuck making monthly payments for her husband's ex-wife's engagement ring.  Honestly, she knew what she was getting into with him.  A few days before her wedding she admitted that she no longer wanted to marry him, but she decided to just go through with it and then divorce him "in about a year".  That wedding must have cost over $80K, and it was a great party, but I just couldn't really enjoy myself because I knew she wasn't going to be happy after that day. 

[FIreDrill]

This is why James Randi is offering $1 Million to anyone who can demonstrate the superiority of their expensive digital cables over cheap ones, and why no one has taken him up on it yet.

I love James Randi.  Ever see his TV specials on pseudo-sciences, astrology, ESP, etc?  Fantastic. 

Back to topic, I worked with a girl who got stuck making monthly payments for her husband's ex-wife's engagement ring.  Honestly, she knew what she was getting into with him.  A few days before her wedding she admitted that she no longer wanted to marry him, but she decided to just go through with it and then divorce him "in about a year".  That wedding must have cost over $80K, and it was a great party, but I just couldn't really enjoy myself because I knew she wasn't going to be happy after that day.

8-0

That's so messed up...

[ichangedmyname]

In a meeting one of our managers mentioned our 401k and asked if anyone's participating. A few people including me raised our hands. Probably 5 out of 30 people. The manager urged the rest to start because it's free money. I agreed.

One guy sitting close to me said in a whisper, "My paycheck would be less. I fail to see how that is free money."

[frugledoc]

This is why James Randi is offering $1 Million to anyone who can demonstrate the superiority of their expensive digital cables over cheap ones, and why no one has taken him up on it yet.

I love James Randi.  Ever see his TV specials on pseudo-sciences, astrology, ESP, etc?  Fantastic. 

Back to topic, I worked with a girl who got stuck making monthly payments for her husband's ex-wife's engagement ring.  Honestly, she knew what she was getting into with him.  A few days before her wedding she admitted that she no longer wanted to marry him, but she decided to just go through with it and then divorce him "in about a year".  That wedding must have cost over $80K, and it was a great party, but I just couldn't really enjoy myself because I knew she wasn't going to be happy after that day.

What a bxxch

[Alfred J Quack]

Digital signals transmit information differently. On digital signals information is transmitted either as a high voltage, a "1", or a low voltage, a "0". There must be some form of tiny computer at each end to encode / decode the information into / from the stream of 1's and 0's. There can be almost any amount of noise introduced along the way; as long as the receiving computer is able to distinguish between a 1 or a 0 then no information is lost or added. High-quality connectors and cables are not important for digital signals; either the amount of noise is large enough that it overwrites the signal (in which case nothing will work) or it's not (in which case everything will work perfectly). Examples of digital signals are CD / DVD / Blu-ray, HDMI or DVI cables, digital TV channels, USB, Ethernet, optical sound cables, and pretty much every other form of computer cable.

This is why CDs do not wear down and their sound quality doesn't degrade over time, like records do. Either the CD perfectly (up to the format's limits) reproduces the sound or it's scratched and can't be read at all. Either the video / sound quality from a digital TV channel is perfect, or it's completely messed up as long as the branch (or whatever) is blocking the signal. There's no fuzzy sound or fuzzy picture like their use to be for analog TV channels with less-than-perfect reception.

If a $5 HDMI cable works at all then it will produce exactly the same picture quality as a $100 HDMI cable. The marketing people are merely lying and scamming you. This is why James Randi is offering $1 Million to anyone who can demonstrate the superiority of their expensive digital cables over cheap ones, and why no one has taken him up on it yet.

What you say is correct but not entirely complete, a low quality cable can also suffer from noise and/or crosstalk which may degrade signal quality. Correction may be applied up to a point but when noise is too great you may experience that the picture/audio is jittery. Also, it is quite possible that only lower resolutions can be displayed due to the fact that higher displays demand higher throughput which cannot be achieved.
Low quality cables can especially be a problem for longer distances (10ft or more). So if you have the chance, buy a cable with money back guarantee so that you can test it!

On topic:
I met an engineer who was performing maintenance at our site. We got talking about kids and finances and eventually the topic of mortgages came up. He appeared to be like minded so I told him how far I was with paying it down. It was quite annoying when he said that his mortgage was about half of mine :D

[BlueHouse]

What a bxxch

I didn't think so.  I thought it was a misguided way to avoid conflict and to save the embarrassment of telling everyone the wedding was cancelled.  After all, the guy came out WAY ahead -- his debt was paid off by the girl's father, and I'm pretty sure her dad ended up giving him money to walk away.  Perhaps you assumed the guy made more than she did and she was making the decision based on money?   

Or did you mean me for attending a sham wedding? 

[the fixer]

wauske is right. If cable quality didn't matter, data centers would be using Category 3 ethernet cabling, non-twisted-pair, everywhere instead of 5a/6/fiber. On the receiving end of a cable, you either get a 1 or a 0, but it might not be the same thing that the sender tried to transmit for various reasons (EMI, crosstalk). In most cables this happens randomly, not for every bit, and this leads to a nonzero error rate. There are more than two states for a cable: it can work perfectly, it can be totally useless, or it can be somewhere in between with an error rate. There are ways to design digital cables to lessen interference and crosstalk, which in turn reduces error rates at a given data transfer rate.

In practice, most cables are made to conform to specific standards that have been found to provide good performance at normal cable lengths without an unacceptably high rate of errors. HDMI cables fall into this category; a manufacturer cannot call a cable an HDMI cable unless they meet the standard and pass certain testing the standards body requires. So yes, there is no appreciable difference between HDMI cables. But no, in the general case any cable won't always do when it comes to digital signals.

[dragoncar]

wauske is right. If cable quality didn't matter, data centers would be using Category 3 ethernet cabling, non-twisted-pair, everywhere instead of 5a/6/fiber. On the receiving end of a cable, you either get a 1 or a 0, but it might not be the same thing that the sender tried to transmit for various reasons (EMI, crosstalk). In most cables this happens randomly, not for every bit, and this leads to a nonzero error rate. There are more than two states for a cable: it can work perfectly, it can be totally useless, or it can be somewhere in between with an error rate. There are ways to design digital cables to lessen interference and crosstalk, which in turn reduces error rates at a given data transfer rate.

In practice, most cables are made to conform to specific standards that have been found to provide good performance at normal cable lengths without an unacceptably high rate of errors. HDMI cables fall into this category; a manufacturer cannot call a cable an HDMI cable unless they meet the standard and pass certain testing the standards body requires. So yes, there is no appreciable difference between HDMI cables. But no, in the general case any cable won't always do when it comes to digital signals.

In  other words, get the 50-cent cable from monoprice.  If, and only if, the stars align such that you see artifacts, consider upgrading to a better cable.

[jordanread]

When it comes to cables, I always think of this fun little test that was done between high end Monster Cables vs a Coat Hanger

http://gizmodo.com/363154/audiophile-deathmatch-monster-cables-vs-a-coat-hanger

[aetherie]

With regards to a friend who's trying to get a job in India so she can live with her boyfriend there:

Roommate 1: "Why doesn't she just, you know, go to India?"
Roommate 2: "With what money?"
Roommate 1: "Loans! That's what Americans do."

[dragoncar]

When it comes to cables, I always think of this fun little test that was done between high end Monster Cables vs a Coat Hanger

http://gizmodo.com/363154/audiophile-deathmatch-monster-cables-vs-a-coat-hanger

That's mostly proof that most "audiophiles" are full of crap.  Love me some ABX testing.

[the fixer]

It's only proof that speaker cable doesn't make much difference. That's not true of all types of cables. Try using two coat hangers to connect your TV or cable modem.

[Bigote]

Back to topic, I worked with a girl who got stuck making monthly payments for her husband's ex-wife's engagement ring. 

Ok, let's declare this thread over.   You win.   :)

[Insanity]

The marketing people are merely lying and scamming you.

Marketing people would never be that dishonest............................

[notquitefrugal]

In  other words, get the 50-cent cable from monoprice.  If, and only if, the stars align such that you see artifacts, consider upgrading to a better cable.

I saw some weird pixellation when using an inexpensive, no-name 15-20' HDMI cable I bought. I bought another inexpensive, no-name 15-20' cable. Problem solved, and I still came out way ahead of buying the expensive one!

[sheepstache]

Ok, I was pretty shocked at someone who's doing a 3-day raw food cleanse/detox, which--no, okay, let me not even get into that, but this service delivers a box of all the food you're supposed to eat during it.  Each day you get three juices, a snack, an entree, and a dessert.  It costs $72 a day.  To eat.  Less than you would normally.

http://coolercleanse.com/cleanse/raw
In case anyone is interested.

[sunnyca]

Ok, I was pretty shocked at someone who's doing a 3-day raw food cleanse/detox, which--no, okay, let me not even get into that, but this service delivers a box of all the food you're supposed to eat during it.  Each day you get three juices, a snack, an entree, and a dessert.  It costs $72 a day.  To eat.  Less than you would normally.

http://coolercleanse.com/cleanse/raw
In case anyone is interested.

LOL- my neighbor did this cleanse (the juice only one)When I asked him why he didn't just blend/juice his own drinks, his explanation was that the juices from the cleanse were somehow "special."

[horsepoor]

Ok, I was pretty shocked at someone who's doing a 3-day raw food cleanse/detox, which--no, okay, let me not even get into that, but this service delivers a box of all the food you're supposed to eat during it.  Each day you get three juices, a snack, an entree, and a dessert.  It costs $72 a day.  To eat.  Less than you would normally.

http://coolercleanse.com/cleanse/raw
In case anyone is interested.

LOL- my neighbor did this cleanse (the juice only one)When I asked him why he didn't just blend/juice his own drinks, his explanation was that the juices from the cleanse were somehow "special."

You could buy a nice-ass, brand new juicer for the price of 3 days of that!

[dragoncar]

Ok, I was pretty shocked at someone who's doing a 3-day raw food cleanse/detox, which--no, okay, let me not even get into that, but this service delivers a box of all the food you're supposed to eat during it.  Each day you get three juices, a snack, an entree, and a dessert.  It costs $72 a day.  To eat.  Less than you would normally.

http://coolercleanse.com/cleanse/raw
In case anyone is interested.

LOL- my neighbor did this cleanse (the juice only one)When I asked him why he didn't just blend/juice his own drinks, his explanation was that the juices from the cleanse were somehow "special."

You could buy a nice-ass, brand new juicer for the price of 3 days of that!

Mmm... ass juicer...

[Daisy]

Ok, I was pretty shocked at someone who's doing a 3-day raw food cleanse/detox, which--no, okay, let me not even get into that, but this service delivers a box of all the food you're supposed to eat during it.  Each day you get three juices, a snack, an entree, and a dessert.  It costs $72 a day.  To eat.  Less than you would normally.

http://coolercleanse.com/cleanse/raw
In case anyone is interested.

I posted earlier on this thread of a coworker that did the same. I didn't ask the cost though. Now I know...amazing....

Thanks for the link. Now I have some ideas on new things to cook myself. :-)

[Daisy]

I heard two good ones today at the company picnic. By good I mean surprisingly Mustachian. I guess it helps that I work with engineers.

CW1 accepted a severance package last year but they asked her to stay on until mid-year this year to finish a project. She's about to leave in a month. She shared that she's 46 and it's time for a break. She has plans to see her daughter off to college, teach dance classes, etc. She and her husband have been conservative with their finances their whole lives. She stated she's done everything right and by the book up until now and she's just going to enjoy this time. I could have said the same exact words! Unfortunately, she's not ready for ER yet.

CW2 and I were talking about potential upcoming severance packages and he's all ready to accept it as I am. He wants to slow travel to Europe with his wife and parents. He is also mid-40s.

They both mentioned that we are in our 40s and are tired of doing the same thing. So it looks like being financially prepared gives you options in life. I was very impressed!

[Squirrel away]

In a meeting one of our managers mentioned our 401k and asked if anyone's participating. A few people including me raised our hands. Probably 5 out of 30 people. The manager urged the rest to start because it's free money. I agreed.

One guy sitting close to me said in a whisper, "My paycheck would be less. I fail to see how that is free money."

OMG, that is sad really.

[mgarl10024]

FYI- most people probably already know this but you should pretty much buy the cheapest HDMI cable you can. No difference in quality.  They work or they don't.

But what about the gold plated connections?!

I *really* should have wrapped this comment in <sarcasm> tags.  :-)

[Jack]

You could buy a nice-ass, brand new juicer for the price of 3 days of that!

Mmm... ass juicer...

Obligatory XKCD

[CommonCents]

FYI- most people probably already know this but you should pretty much buy the cheapest HDMI cable you can. No difference in quality.  They work or they don't.

But what about the gold plated connections?!

I *really* should have wrapped this comment in <sarcasm> tags.  :-)

Don't worry, my computer beeped the tags at me when I read it.  I got it.  :)

[sherr]

There can be almost any amount of noise introduced along the way; as long as the receiving computer is able to distinguish between a 1 or a 0 then no information is lost or added. High-quality connectors and cables are not important for digital signals; either the amount of noise is large enough that it overwrites the signal (in which case nothing will work) or it's not (in which case everything will work perfectly).

If a $5 HDMI cable works at all then it will produce exactly the same picture quality as a $100 HDMI cable.

What you say is correct but not entirely complete, a low quality cable can also suffer from noise and/or crosstalk which may degrade signal quality. Correction may be applied up to a point but when noise is too great you may experience that the picture/audio is jittery. Also, it is quite possible that only lower resolutions can be displayed due to the fact that higher displays demand higher throughput which cannot be achieved.
Low quality cables can especially be a problem for longer distances (10ft or more). So if you have the chance, buy a cable with money back guarantee so that you can test it!

Fair enough, I should have made it more clear that it's possible for there to be a non-zero error rate but still receive some signal. The general sentiment is the same though, try the cheap cables first. If there are no obvious problems then be happy because you are getting exactly the same picture quality as someone who bought expensive cables.

wauske is right. If cable quality didn't matter, data centers would be using Category 3 ethernet cabling, non-twisted-pair, everywhere instead of 5a/6/fiber.

I agree with everything else you say, but this is a bad example. If you only need to transmit data at 10 Mbit/s (the Cat 3 spec) then it makes no difference if you are doing it over Cat 3, Cat 6, or fiber. We are advising people how to buy consumer-grade cables to hook up their TV, not designing a new protocol / cable format that exceeds the existing format's ability to transmit data. Any cable that is actually manufactured and tested to work against a particular specification should be the same as any other cable that is manufactured and tested to work against the same specification. I'm not saying you can use any random wire you want to transmit any amount of data over any distance at any speed, I'm saying one HDMI 1.3 cat 2 cable is the same as another HDMI 1.3 cat 2 cable.

The complication of course is that there are several different specs of cables that are all called "HDMI" cables, so it is possible that one "HDMI" cable won't do the job that another "HDMI" cable will. It's also possible that the marketers are lying in the other direction, and selling cables at a higher standard than they actually conform to. However general advice for people that don't want to have to learn the details about everything is still the same, "try the cheap ones, if they work then they work. If they don't then you'll need something better."

On the receiving end of a cable, you either get a 1 or a 0, but it might not be the same thing that the sender tried to transmit for various reasons (EMI, crosstalk). In most cables this happens randomly, not for every bit, and this leads to a nonzero error rate. There are more than two states for a cable: it can work perfectly, it can be totally useless, or it can be somewhere in between with an error rate. There are ways to design digital cables to lessen interference and crosstalk, which in turn reduces error rates at a given data transfer rate.

In practice, most cables are made to conform to specific standards that have been found to provide good performance at normal cable lengths without an unacceptably high rate of errors. HDMI cables fall into this category; a manufacturer cannot call a cable an HDMI cable unless they meet the standard and pass certain testing the standards body requires. So yes, there is no appreciable difference between HDMI cables. But no, in the general case any cable won't always do when it comes to digital signals.

[frugledoc]

What a bxxch

I didn't think so.  I thought it was a misguided way to avoid conflict and to save the embarrassment of telling everyone the wedding was cancelled.  After all, the guy came out WAY ahead -- his debt was paid off by the girl's father, and I'm pretty sure her dad ended up giving him money to walk away.  Perhaps you assumed the guy made more than she did and she was making the decision based on money?   

Or did you mean me for attending a sham wedding?

No didn't mean you.  I was just being judgemental about somebody wasting all that money knowing they would get divorced a year later.

[MgoSam]

We used to have ham at Easter dinner and my family is Irish Catholic.

Coworker A to Coworker B: I can't believe co-worker C spent $9,000 just on his wedding photographer. Our whole wedding only cost that much!
Me [silently in my head]: WTF???? (Or as Co-worker A put it, you can have a really fancy pants wedding for $9k. I've been to 3K and 5K weddings and they were still pretty good - especially the 5k one, it didn't feel like a "budget wedding" at all.)

My sister-in-law spent about £30,000 on her wedding, I could probably write a whole thread about her spending!

How much have people here spent on your wedding? I know very little about planning a wedding. I know that for both my brother's and sister's wedding they went way over what they initially planned to spend, and seeing how much time, effort, and stress went into the wedding I clearly remember thinking that should I get married, eloping would be far preferable.

[tmac]

How much have people here spent on your wedding? I know very little about planning a wedding. I know that for both my brother's and sister's wedding they went way over what they initially planned to spend, and seeing how much time, effort, and stress went into the wedding I clearly remember thinking that should I get married, eloping would be far preferable.

First wedding, to a spendthrift guy with an even worse family: $8,000. Not including rings or honeymoon. Very stressful and unpleasant. The marriage lasted 2 years.

Second wedding, to my current husband (13th anniversary in 2 days): $800. Including everything. Piece of cake, very little planning, except was actually important to us. Our 12th anniversary is in two days.

[MgoSam]

How much have people here spent on your wedding? I know very little about planning a wedding. I know that for both my brother's and sister's wedding they went way over what they initially planned to spend, and seeing how much time, effort, and stress went into the wedding I clearly remember thinking that should I get married, eloping would be far preferable.

First wedding, to a spendthrift guy with an even worse family: $8,000. Not including rings or honeymoon. Very stressful and unpleasant. The marriage lasted 2 years.

Second wedding, to my current husband (13th anniversary in 2 days): $800. Including everything. Piece of cake, very little planning, except was actually important to us. Our 12th anniversary is in two days.

How were you able to do it for $800?

It is absolutely insane how much my family and many members of the Indian community spend on their weddings. Of course weddings are week long events which might have multiple venues, open bar, and some families will put up out of town guests in a hotel.

[Insanity]

Second wedding, to my current husband (13th anniversary in 2 days): $800. Including everything. Piece of cake, very little planning, except was actually important to us. Our 12th anniversary is in two days.

Ummm......

[frugalamber]

How were you able to do it for $800?

It is absolutely insane how much my family and many members of the Indian community spend on their weddings. Of course weddings are week long events which might have multiple venues, open bar, and some families will put up out of town guests in a hotel.

I have some knowledge on this - We paid for our wedding close to a decade back. Was about $8k. We each paid 3k and both side parents paid 1k including travel for 3 adults from US to india and back. This feb we attended bil's wedding, in-laws paid same $1k invested around the time of our wedding, so close to 2.5-3k; he paid 7-8k including flying 13 members across the country for the wedding. The girl side must have paid atleast 4-5k alone. Was a huge affair with 3500 people at the girls place by their own choice.

[tmac]

Second wedding, to my current husband (13th anniversary in 2 days): $800. Including everything. Piece of cake, very little planning, except was actually important to us. Our 12th anniversary is in two days.

Ummm......

Ack! I wrote the 13th, then did the math and realized it was just 12. Don't tell my husband. :)

[tmac]

How much have people here spent on your wedding? I know very little about planning a wedding. I know that for both my brother's and sister's wedding they went way over what they initially planned to spend, and seeing how much time, effort, and stress went into the wedding I clearly remember thinking that should I get married, eloping would be far preferable.

First wedding, to a spendthrift guy with an even worse family: $8,000. Not including rings or honeymoon. Very stressful and unpleasant. The marriage lasted 2 years.

Second wedding, to my current husband (13th anniversary in 2 days): $800. Including everything. Piece of cake, very little planning, except was actually important to us. Our 12th anniversary is in two days.

How were you able to do it for $800?

It was a seriously laid back wedding. My dress was $80 from JJill. DH wore clothes he already owned. Our rings were simple and on sale. We planned a week long trip to the mountains. We drove there, and camped with family for a couple of days, then got married in botanical garden at full-bloom mid-week with 9 other people in attendance. My mom was our officiant (secular, "ordained" online). We had dinner at a great restaurant in town, then spent one night alone at a nice hotel before returning to the campsite with the rest of the family for a couple more days.

[BlueHouse]

What a bxxch

I didn't think so.  I thought it was a misguided way to avoid conflict and to save the embarrassment of telling everyone the wedding was cancelled.  After all, the guy came out WAY ahead -- his debt was paid off by the girl's father, and I'm pretty sure her dad ended up giving him money to walk away.  Perhaps you assumed the guy made more than she did and she was making the decision based on money?   

Or did you mean me for attending a sham wedding?

No didn't mean you.  I was just being judgemental about somebody wasting all that money knowing they would get divorced a year later.

Oh, yeah, I definitely get that.  I think it's wasteful even if you do stay married.  I've seen other people write this sentiment better, but the difference between whether the bride and groom are focused on "the wedding" or "the marriage" speaks volumes towards its chance of success.  The Cinderella, over-the-top, three-ring-circus type of wedding is pushed on girls from very early on.  I think most women fall prey to it and you're certainly eyeballed differently if you don't want a big fancy wedding. 

To a lesser extent, I see it with funerals too.  WHO CARES what kind of box you're in?  You're DEAD!!  I've told my family to just wrap me in a sheet and throw me in the fire (after all useful organs and skin are used).  Barring that, I will accept the hambone treatment.  (shove a hambone up my a$$ and throw me out to the dogs)