Author Topic: Overheard at Work  (Read 8868090 times)

Hot_AZ

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7650 on: April 08, 2015, 09:46:21 AM »
my boss bought a new car this past weekend... because her 2013 vehicle got keyed along one door.  She bought the same vehicle only a few years newer.  this is family who just got out of a bankruptcy and finished paying everything back.  She bought it because "i never buy myself anything nice".  OMG. 

She pays for 2 kids in college and one youngster in private school.  She said she will always have a car payment because "what can you do"?  OMG.  Seriously?

Wait isn't a 2013 pretty new/nice? 2013?  Pfft. So last year.

It's WAY nicer than my 2005 Honda CRV that has hail damage,  yes.  But wait...  I have money in the bank, she does not.... 

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7651 on: April 08, 2015, 11:06:18 AM »
my boss bought a new car this past weekend... because her 2013 vehicle got keyed along one door.  She bought the same vehicle only a few years newer.  this is family who just got out of a bankruptcy and finished paying everything back.  She bought it because "i never buy myself anything nice".  OMG. 

She pays for 2 kids in college and one youngster in private school.  She said she will always have a car payment because "what can you do"?  OMG.  Seriously?

Wait isn't a 2013 pretty new/nice? 2013?  Pfft. So last year.

Friend just got a 2016 model year so yeah

skunkfunk

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7652 on: April 08, 2015, 11:11:12 AM »
my boss bought a new car this past weekend... because her 2013 vehicle got keyed along one door.  She bought the same vehicle only a few years newer.
Uh oh time for an oil change. Might as well buy a new car instead of paying the $50 to get it changed at the dealer... I guess some people never learn!

Way, way upthread I posted about a coworker who replaced the car because the battery failed. "It only gets worse when your car starts having problems!"

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7653 on: April 08, 2015, 11:24:27 AM »
my boss bought a new car this past weekend... because her 2013 vehicle got keyed along one door.  She bought the same vehicle only a few years newer.
Uh oh time for an oil change. Might as well buy a new car instead of paying the $50 to get it changed at the dealer... I guess some people never learn!

Way, way upthread I posted about a coworker who replaced the car because the battery failed. "It only gets worse when your car starts having problems!"

Wouldn't it be amusing if she keyed her door to have an excuse of trading in for a nicer car. I know someone that has dropped their laptop to justify buying a new one.

Hot_AZ

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7654 on: April 08, 2015, 11:34:44 AM »
The justifications were making me cringe.  When i started my job, she was going over the "good" benefits and talked about the 401k.  She said, we have one, i don't know much about it though because I don't use it.  She's early 50's.  It's very motivating for me though, i WON'T be like that :)

RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7655 on: April 08, 2015, 12:29:48 PM »
RyanAtTanagra, I love your handle!

;-)

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7656 on: April 08, 2015, 12:58:37 PM »
She's early 50's.  It's very motivating for me though, i WON'T be like that :)

Yeah, in my showroom in Chicago I see a ton of people in their 50's that are doing what I'm doing, and it is a good motivator for me. I don't want to wind up like them, but do value learning from their experience in our industry. I have also noticed that while I will just grab something like Chipotle for dinner, they will be talking up going out for a nice Italian meal.

solon

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7657 on: April 08, 2015, 02:22:16 PM »
RyanAtTanagra, I love your handle!

;-)

Good times! Just like shaka, when the walls fell!

countdown

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7658 on: April 08, 2015, 04:24:16 PM »
Talking to people at work about the fund lineup in the 401(k) plan and mentioned that we have some real stinkers. I pointed specifically to one with a total expense of 2.5% -I kid you not. To which, the Finance Director responded that he invests in that fund. I held it together and said, "oh?" and he doubled down by telling me (from his wisdom) that you don't pick a fund based on fees, because a good fund will have higher fees and will still earns higher total returns. He specifically said one of his reasons for investing in this fund is that it's "highly managed". Then he told me that it has performed very well for him. I checked, and this highly managed awfulness has managed to underperform the market on a 1-, 5-, and 10-year basis. Ouch ouch ouch.

gimp

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7659 on: April 08, 2015, 04:57:20 PM »
Quote
Once did a workout to AC/DC's thunderstruck.  Every time they say tbunderstuck, you drop and do a burpee.  Never listen to that song the same again

There's also a thunderstruck drinking game.

When you hear the word thunder, you start drinking. When you hear it again, you stop, and the next person in the circle starts.

Quote
Friend just got a 2016 model year so yeah

They already have 2016 models in April? I'm very curious which car. I thought they usually start going on sale around the end of the year, in the fall or later.

Mistah Cash Lion

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7660 on: April 08, 2015, 06:36:59 PM »
Talking to people at work about the fund lineup in the 401(k) plan and mentioned that we have some real stinkers. I pointed specifically to one with a total expense of 2.5% -I kid you not. To which, the Finance Director responded that he invests in that fund. I held it together and said, "oh?" and he doubled down by telling me (from his wisdom) that you don't pick a fund based on fees, because a good fund will have higher fees and will still earns higher total returns. He specifically said one of his reasons for investing in this fund is that it's "highly managed". Then he told me that it has performed very well for him. I checked, and this highly managed awfulness has managed to underperform the market on a 1-, 5-, and 10-year basis. Ouch ouch ouch.

Oh brother. Don't pick a fund based on one of the most important factors...SMH  Maybe you can shed some light?


It was close to lunch time the other day at work and one of my coworkers told me he was waiting for the checks to be ready so he could buy lunch because he had 'like zero dollars to my name'.  Yikes.

I would venture to say that out of the 8 other people I work with there may be one other person who brings their lunch to work on a regular basis.  Everyone else gets in their car to pick something up somewhere.

One Noisy Cat

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7661 on: April 08, 2015, 08:16:29 PM »
    I had lunch today with four of my former co-workers, two of whom are retired like me.  We got talking about other people, past and present, at the old salt mine. One of them mentioned two people who had refused to contribute to the Thrift Savings Plan because "they didn't trust the government".  They are out now and primarily getting by on...wait for it....Social Security.  One of my fellow retirees mentioned he's waiting until 70 to make withdrawals, the other didn't say anything about her finances but was trying to get me to join her and her husband on a July cruise.

Indexer

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7662 on: April 08, 2015, 08:32:36 PM »
Talking to people at work about the fund lineup in the 401(k) plan and mentioned that we have some real stinkers. I pointed specifically to one with a total expense of 2.5% -I kid you not. To which, the Finance Director responded that he invests in that fund. I held it together and said, "oh?" and he doubled down by telling me (from his wisdom) that you don't pick a fund based on fees, because a good fund will have higher fees and will still earns higher total returns. He specifically said one of his reasons for investing in this fund is that it's "highly managed". Then he told me that it has performed very well for him. I checked, and this highly managed awfulness has managed to underperform the market on a 1-, 5-, and 10-year basis. Ouch ouch ouch.

Highly managed = fund manager who lacks direction.  He isn't willing to actually commit when he buys things and second guesses himself a lot.  Oh, and also expensive, horribly tax inefficient, etc.

If he cares about performance show him this...
https://personal.vanguard.com/us/insights/article/fund-performance-022015

Just scroll straight down to the graph halfway down the page.  93% outperform AND they are cheap.  Your finance director's head will explode.... and then maybe he will be open to switching. :)


I once had a manager who invest 100% of his 401k in the company stock... and this was a finance related job.  He should have known better.  He bragged once that the stock did go up 22%.  I pointed out the S&P was up 24% for the same time period, and that since it went up 22% right now was probably a great time to diversify.  I don't know if he ever changed, but the funny part was he was really pessimistic about the company and thought it was going in the wrong direction.

BlueHouse

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7663 on: April 09, 2015, 04:06:37 AM »
I didn't mean to imply that everyone should train hard or try and get ripped.  I just get a bit annoyed when I hear folks tell me how "lucky" I am to be in such good shape or how much time I must have to workout that they clearly do not. 

Just like how lucky I am to have a paid off house and cars.

We all know it isn't luck and it negates the actual work we put in.

Warning.
Humblebrag alert.

Gockie

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7664 on: April 09, 2015, 05:31:20 AM »
My work colleague told me today when she's on holidays she and her husband and son has to go back to India for a minimum of 4 weeks, about every second year. So far, so good. Them she tells me they have to spend all their time there visiting relatives. Then give all the relatives gifts. Apparently the gifts costs something in the order of 15k. Whatttt?...

Ps. Her son just started school, he's five, but needs everything. Asks for everything. She's thinking of buying him an iPhone5 or 6, and everytime she goes to the shops it sounds like he asks for something and she can rarely say no. Omg..... I'd be saying no.

Anyway, they are out looking to buy a home.... Sydney is very challenging atm...

Giro

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7665 on: April 09, 2015, 08:58:53 AM »
I didn't mean to imply that everyone should train hard or try and get ripped.  I just get a bit annoyed when I hear folks tell me how "lucky" I am to be in such good shape or how much time I must have to workout that they clearly do not. 

Just like how lucky I am to have a paid off house and cars.

We all know it isn't luck and it negates the actual work we put in.

Warning.
Humblebrag alert.


hahaha   A paid off house is NOT AT ALL a humblebrag on this forum.  I'm 40 and I work for the man full time.  That's actually rather low performance in this neck of the woods.

A humblebrag would be....."just turned 12 and hit FI.  Need to reign in my spending so I can FIRE before I'm 15 years old.  Living in a cardboard box and all but still have three bicycles.  should sell at least two of these useless assets."






« Last Edit: April 09, 2015, 09:00:30 AM by Giro »

Clean Shaven

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7666 on: April 09, 2015, 11:54:40 AM »
My favorite that I personally overheard at work -- over 10 years ago now, but I can remember it like yesterday --

This was in late December or early January, after busting my ass all year long for slightly-below-market pay:

Boss: we can't pay much in bonuses this year, since the company didn't do that well this year.  (Turns, exits building, drives away in brand new Suburban that he just bought.)

Boss's wife - shortly afterwards also shows up at building in new, expensive car.

Clean Shaven: gives notice and quits about 2 months later, after spending that time job searching. 

eyePod

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7667 on: April 09, 2015, 12:13:10 PM »
My favorite that I personally overheard at work -- over 10 years ago now, but I can remember it like yesterday --

This was in late December or early January, after busting my ass all year long for slightly-below-market pay:

Boss: we can't pay much in bonuses this year, since the company didn't do that well this year.  (Turns, exits building, drives away in brand new Suburban that he just bought.)

Boss's wife - shortly afterwards also shows up at building in new, expensive car.

Clean Shaven: gives notice and quits about 2 months later, after spending that time job searching.

I'm sure he was leasing them!

firelight

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7668 on: April 09, 2015, 12:17:07 PM »
My work colleague told me today when she's on holidays she and her husband and son has to go back to India for a minimum of 4 weeks, about every second year. So far, so good. Them she tells me they have to spend all their time there visiting relatives. Then give all the relatives gifts. Apparently the gifts costs something in the order of 15k. Whatttt?...

Ps. Her son just started school, he's five, but needs everything. Asks for everything. She's thinking of buying him an iPhone5 or 6, and everytime she goes to the shops it sounds like he asks for something and she can rarely say no. Omg..... I'd be saying no.

Anyway, they are out looking to buy a home.... Sydney is very challenging atm...
We go to India every two years but use our credit card points to pay for tickets. And the max we've spent on gifts is $300 (chocolates, nuts, toys for kids, that sort of things). I can't imagine spending 15k every two years... They are enabling that behavior among relatives.

Sadly, the entire time visiting relatives is true :(

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7669 on: April 09, 2015, 12:45:51 PM »
My work colleague told me today when she's on holidays she and her husband and son has to go back to India for a minimum of 4 weeks, about every second year. So far, so good. Them she tells me they have to spend all their time there visiting relatives. Then give all the relatives gifts. Apparently the gifts costs something in the order of 15k. Whatttt?...

Ps. Her son just started school, he's five, but needs everything. Asks for everything. She's thinking of buying him an iPhone5 or 6, and everytime she goes to the shops it sounds like he asks for something and she can rarely say no. Omg..... I'd be saying no.

Anyway, they are out looking to buy a home.... Sydney is very challenging atm...
We go to India every two years but use our credit card points to pay for tickets. And the max we've spent on gifts is $300 (chocolates, nuts, toys for kids, that sort of things). I can't imagine spending 15k every two years... They are enabling that behavior among relatives.

Sadly, the entire time visiting relatives is true :(

I know that my mom gets stressed each time she goes back home. She'll of course ask if anyone wants anything from America, and in the past decades there have been reasonable requests, but the last few times someone asked for Ipads and the like, which my mom declined to do. They sell Ipads in India, in reality it was someone wanting it as a "gift."

Grid

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7670 on: April 09, 2015, 01:30:29 PM »
A coworker of mine makes a combined household income of $60k with her spouse.  She buys 4 packs of cigarettes each day on her way home for her husband and herself, costing $24 each day.  I showed her that she's eating up 15% of her household income in just cigarettes.  Addiction scares me.

She often complains about not being able to get ahead or save any money, but fellow coworkers and I have suggested alternatives to some of her problems.  Unfortunately her response is that she's fine with things the way they are.  Why complain, then?  What purpose does it serve to voice your problems if you are not looking for solutions?  I'd like to know if anyone has insight into the psychology behind it.
« Last Edit: April 09, 2015, 01:46:44 PM by Grid »

tarheeldan

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7671 on: April 09, 2015, 01:39:51 PM »
She buys 4 packs of cigarettes each day on her way home for her husband and herself, costing $24 each day. 

This kind of short-sightedness is a bad symptom. She could at least buy cartons instead? I knew someone who did things like that, always buying just the minimum amount of something even though it was more costly per unit and in terms of time.

I think it could have something to do with paying as little as possible now, even though it costs more overall. This also implies a very high subjective rate of time preference - $1 tomorrow is worth much less than $1 today.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7672 on: April 09, 2015, 01:51:29 PM »

I think it could have something to do with paying as little as possible now, even though it costs more overall. This also implies a very high subjective rate of time preference - $1 tomorrow is worth much less than $1 today.

What is this, the Weimar Republic? I suppose we should all order two pints at a time, cause the second one might cost more by the time we finish the first one.

BlueHouse

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7673 on: April 09, 2015, 02:10:31 PM »
She buys 4 packs of cigarettes each day on her way home for her husband and herself, costing $24 each day. 

This kind of short-sightedness is a bad symptom. She could at least buy cartons instead? I knew someone who did things like that, always buying just the minimum amount of something even though it was more costly per unit and in terms of time.

I think it could have something to do with paying as little as possible now, even though it costs more overall. This also implies a very high subjective rate of time preference - $1 tomorrow is worth much less than $1 today.

As a former smoker, I usually didn't want to stock up on packs.  I always wanted to be ready to quit and if I had an extra pack, I wouldn't quit until I was done with that pack.  Not saying it makes sense, but it's the way I looked at it, and I know a lot of other people did too.
Quote

Warning.
Humblebrag alert.
hahaha   A paid off house is NOT AT ALL a humblebrag on this forum.  I'm 40 and I work for the man full time.  That's actually rather low performance in this neck of the woods.

A humblebrag would be....."just turned 12 and hit FI.  Need to reign in my spending so I can FIRE before I'm 15 years old.  Living in a cardboard box and all but still have three bicycles.  should sell at least two of these useless assets."
Yeah, there's no better place to humblebrag about a paid off house, FI, etc than here.  I was really referring to the complaints that people are complimenting us because we're so ripped, and rich, and our SO is so ripped, and etc etc?

This subject has been debated before, but when people use the words "you're so lucky", just accept it for the compliment it is.  They admire you and may not know enough of the details of your life or may just not know how to express "good for you" other than to say "you're lucky". 
But complaining because people think your life is great is a total humblebrag.  Poor me, people think I just fell into this fantastic life and they don't realize it takes hard work to be perfect!  LOL!


tarheeldan

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7674 on: April 09, 2015, 02:15:57 PM »
What is this, the Weimar Republic?

LOL! There are more recent examples

but I think you know tomorrow wasn't meant literally :P

As a former smoker, I usually didn't want to stock up on packs.  I always wanted to be ready to quit and if I had an extra pack, I wouldn't quit until I was done with that pack.  Not saying it makes sense, but it's the way I looked at it, and I know a lot of other people did too.

I'm a former smoker too! But I used to buy cartons from eastern Europe and sell them locally at a mark-up (but below market), which paid for the ones I kept and smoked.

RFAAOATB

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7675 on: April 09, 2015, 05:53:10 PM »
I'm a former smoker too! But I used to buy cartons from eastern Europe and sell them locally at a mark-up (but below market), which paid for the ones I kept and smoked.

Any recommendation for a good site to order from?  Cigarettes are expensive and taxes just went up.  If I make an order I don't want it held up in customs or something.

tarheeldan

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7676 on: April 09, 2015, 06:50:43 PM »
Any recommendation for a good site to order from?  Cigarettes are expensive and taxes just went up.  If I make an order I don't want it held up in customs or something.

Well, the sites I used were in an, ahem, gray area legally - I think for tax reasons. I believe each parcel could contain 2 cartons maximum for this reason. Anyway I used sites like cigoutlet..one could do a Google search for cheap online cigarettes. Looks like prices are still about 50% of the US prices.

Torran

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7677 on: April 10, 2015, 05:32:51 AM »
Completely off topic, because not money related, but I just overheard from a conversation at the next desk:
In quick sucession:
"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if dinosaurs still existed?'
'Do you think there's someone in the world who knows all the information?'
And then the enigmatic, 'What if aliens...' which just trailed off into silence.
Slow day at the office. It's a beautiful sunny day outside. I am 100% aware of how awesome it must be to be retired.

Megma

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7678 on: April 10, 2015, 07:59:38 AM »
I suggested to a coworker whom I'm friendly with to try Mint to track her spending, she responded that maybe she will try it in a few months because she has been spending too much and she doesn't want it to tell her she's over budget.

dsmexpat

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7679 on: April 10, 2015, 08:14:06 AM »
Completely off topic, because not money related, but I just overheard from a conversation at the next desk:
In quick sucession:
"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if dinosaurs still existed?'
'Do you think there's someone in the world who knows all the information?'
And then the enigmatic, 'What if aliens...' which just trailed off into silence.
Slow day at the office. It's a beautiful sunny day outside. I am 100% aware of how awesome it must be to be retired.
Birds are dinosaurs in every meaningful sense.

Pooperman

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7680 on: April 10, 2015, 08:24:49 AM »
Completely off topic, because not money related, but I just overheard from a conversation at the next desk:
In quick sucession:
"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if dinosaurs still existed?'
'Do you think there's someone in the world who knows all the information?'
And then the enigmatic, 'What if aliens...' which just trailed off into silence.
Slow day at the office. It's a beautiful sunny day outside. I am 100% aware of how awesome it must be to be retired.
Birds are dinosaurs in every meaningful sense.

It's like asking about woolly mammoths: yummy! 10/10 would eat.

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7681 on: April 10, 2015, 08:37:14 AM »

Torran

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7682 on: April 10, 2015, 09:15:54 AM »
Completely off topic, because not money related, but I just overheard from a conversation at the next desk:
In quick sucession:
"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if dinosaurs still existed?'
'Do you think there's someone in the world who knows all the information?'
And then the enigmatic, 'What if aliens...' which just trailed off into silence.
Slow day at the office. It's a beautiful sunny day outside. I am 100% aware of how awesome it must be to be retired.
Birds are dinosaurs in every meaningful sense.

Hahaha I wish I'd had this to say to them at the time :)

dsmexpat

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7683 on: April 10, 2015, 09:17:46 AM »

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7684 on: April 10, 2015, 10:42:23 AM »
I suggested to a coworker whom I'm friendly with to try Mint to track her spending, she responded that maybe she will try it in a few months because she has been spending too much and she doesn't want it to tell her she's over budget.
Many of the world's problems, in a nutshell, right there.

Cougar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7685 on: April 10, 2015, 11:02:30 AM »

overheard new for me at work, as i have moved recently; i now have coworkers that bring their lunches daily and eat them at their desk. the thought keeps occurring to me that this conditional behavior is the same you might see in lab rats.


now, i bring my lunch; but i leave the building and go outside; but i cannot wait for the day when my time is 100% mine.

Rollin

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7686 on: April 10, 2015, 11:43:23 AM »
Talking to people at work about the fund lineup in the 401(k) plan and mentioned that we have some real stinkers. I pointed specifically to one with a total expense of 2.5% -I kid you not. To which, the Finance Director responded that he invests in that fund. I held it together and said, "oh?" and he doubled down by telling me (from his wisdom) that you don't pick a fund based on fees, because a good fund will have higher fees and will still earns higher total returns. He specifically said one of his reasons for investing in this fund is that it's "highly managed". Then he told me that it has performed very well for him. I checked, and this highly managed awfulness has managed to underperform the market on a 1-, 5-, and 10-year basis. Ouch ouch ouch.

We have a "Plus" fund offered with a 0.83% fee, and returns of about 2% over the past 3 years.  Hmmmmm, his formula doesn't seem to hold there.  What am I missing?  JK

frugledoc

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7687 on: April 10, 2015, 11:46:17 AM »
A coworker of mine makes a combined household income of $60k with her spouse.  She buys 4 packs of cigarettes each day on her way home for her husband and herself, costing $24 each day.  I showed her that she's eating up 15% of her household income in just cigarettes.  Addiction scares me.

She often complains about not being able to get ahead or save any money, but fellow coworkers and I have suggested alternatives to some of her problems.  Unfortunately her response is that she's fine with things the way they are.  Why complain, then?  What purpose does it serve to voice your problems if you are not looking for solutions?  I'd like to know if anyone has insight into the psychology behind it.

I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

zataks

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7688 on: April 10, 2015, 12:03:52 PM »
I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Or, like the reason most people communicate with others, they are looking to connect with others who may share the same "problems".  If coworkers can commiserate about never having enough money, it is a form of connection, no?  Much the same way this forum bonds over frugality/money management.

sw1tch

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7689 on: April 10, 2015, 12:05:30 PM »
A coworker of mine makes a combined household income of $60k with her spouse.  She buys 4 packs of cigarettes each day on her way home for her husband and herself, costing $24 each day.  I showed her that she's eating up 15% of her household income in just cigarettes.  Addiction scares me.

She often complains about not being able to get ahead or save any money, but fellow coworkers and I have suggested alternatives to some of her problems.  Unfortunately her response is that she's fine with things the way they are.  Why complain, then?  What purpose does it serve to voice your problems if you are not looking for solutions?  I'd like to know if anyone has insight into the psychology behind it.

I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

+1

So much truth!

Hank Sinatra

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7690 on: April 10, 2015, 01:10:20 PM »
Quote
"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions.   

I also have noticed over the years that "normals" want approval. Nothing is their fault. Their self-indulgent choices are OK. It's OK to keep doing it.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7691 on: April 10, 2015, 01:23:56 PM »
As a former smoker, I usually didn't want to stock up on packs.  I always wanted to be ready to quit and if I had an extra pack, I wouldn't quit until I was done with that pack.  Not saying it makes sense, but it's the way I looked at it, and I know a lot of other people did too.

It's probably some of each, but I agree with you.  Whenever I'm trying to lose weight might cave once in a while and buy a donut at 7-11 for $1 (or whatever just an example).  Someone might say hey you can buy the dozen for just $6.  But then I'd be accepting the fact that I'm going to eat a dozen donuts, which doesn't align with my goals.  A bit of cognitive dissonance there.

I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.

Completely off topic, because not money related, but I just overheard from a conversation at the next desk:
In quick sucession:
"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if dinosaurs still existed?'
'Do you think there's someone in the world who knows all the information?'
And then the enigmatic, 'What if aliens...' which just trailed off into silence.
Slow day at the office. It's a beautiful sunny day outside. I am 100% aware of how awesome it must be to be retired.

I want work with these people!

What if everything was spiders???


PencilThinStash

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7692 on: April 10, 2015, 01:50:00 PM »

I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.


Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.


Not going to comment on lines 2 and 3, purely to avoid the flame wars...

But for that first line, agreed. I definitely have trouble understanding "women people"

dividendman

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7693 on: April 10, 2015, 02:16:01 PM »
Quote
"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions.   

I also have noticed over the years that "normals" want approval. Nothing is their fault. Their self-indulgent choices are OK. It's OK to keep doing it.

Muggles are funny.

Cinder

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7694 on: April 10, 2015, 02:43:17 PM »
A coworker of mine makes a combined household income of $60k with her spouse.  She buys 4 packs of cigarettes each day on her way home for her husband and herself, costing $24 each day.  I showed her that she's eating up 15% of her household income in just cigarettes.  Addiction scares me.

She often complains about not being able to get ahead or save any money, but fellow coworkers and I have suggested alternatives to some of her problems.  Unfortunately her response is that she's fine with things the way they are.  Why complain, then?  What purpose does it serve to voice your problems if you are not looking for solutions?  I'd like to know if anyone has insight into the psychology behind it.

I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

+1

So much truth!

+1 ... Holy crap, I never realized this... I've always been confused.... why are you telling me about your problem if you don't want a solution and you get mad at me when I offer several different options that you could do if the situation arises again?  ARGH

JordanOfGilead

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7695 on: April 10, 2015, 02:48:15 PM »
I'm a young engineer, a little over a year out of college. I discovered MMM at the beginning of march and have pulled a 180 in my life since then.

Whenever I try to talk to people at work about the possibility of financial independence by 35, their responses are always one of three things:
1) Winning the lottery doesn't count as a plan
2) Just wait until you have kids, all that will change
3) Make sure your wife is on board so she doesn't leave you and take half your shit

It bothers me that I work in a place where people see winning the lottery as the only possible means of early retirement. A place that also works their people so hard that it has strained most of the marriages in my office to the point of failure.

My favorite example is a man in his early 60s that has been divorced for over two decades and has a kid that is grown and moved out, complaining about how he is eligible for retirement in a few months, but he'll probably stay around because he can't afford the insurance if he doesn't.
This is a man with a 3000 sq-ft house sitting on about 5 acres and more project cars than I have fingers to count them on, yet he still blames the government and the company for making him unable to take care of himself in retirement.

intirb

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7696 on: April 10, 2015, 02:50:00 PM »
I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.

I'm a woman and I tend to fall in the straightforward, looking for solutions and feedback category.  I doubt that there's anything particularly innate to gender that would cause someone to prefer one method or another.  And of course we've seen that women make up a large part of this forum and mustachians in general.

However, there are obviously strong differences in how men and women are socialized and taught to respond to situations, especially conflict.  If someone is used to having feedback presented harshly and without regard to personal feelings (a situation many men are in, because they're taught to ignore their feelings from a very early age), then they can have a hard time recognizing the careful, gentle feedback interspersed within conditional and sympathetic statements.  On the other hand, if someone is used to having feedback presented with care to avoid hurting feelings (a situation many women are in, because they're taught to avoid confrontation from a very early age), then straightforward feedback can feel particularly harsh or even rude.  Personally, I think these socialized gender roles do no one any favors.  It is a valuable life skill to be able to present and understand both gentle and harsh feedback styles and to be flexible in this regard.  It's also a valuable life skill to understand when someone is just venting vs actually asking for advice.  If you're viewing any of these skills as inappropriate or beneath you because they don't fit with your self-constructed gender identity and whatever baggage you've attached to that, I think you're doing yourself a very large disservice by preventing personal growth.


dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7697 on: April 10, 2015, 03:00:44 PM »
I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.

I'm a woman and I tend to fall in the straightforward, looking for solutions and feedback category.  I doubt that there's anything particularly innate to gender that would cause someone to prefer one method or another.  And of course we've seen that women make up a large part of this forum and mustachians in general.

However, there are obviously strong differences in how men and women are socialized and taught to respond to situations, especially conflict.  If someone is used to having feedback presented harshly and without regard to personal feelings (a situation many men are in, because they're taught to ignore their feelings from a very early age), then they can have a hard time recognizing the careful, gentle feedback interspersed within conditional and sympathetic statements.  On the other hand, if someone is used to having feedback presented with care to avoid hurting feelings (a situation many women are in, because they're taught to avoid confrontation from a very early age), then straightforward feedback can feel particularly harsh or even rude.  Personally, I think these socialized gender roles do no one any favors.  It is a valuable life skill to be able to present and understand both gentle and harsh feedback styles and to be flexible in this regard.  It's also a valuable life skill to understand when someone is just venting vs actually asking for advice.  If you're viewing any of these skills as inappropriate or beneath you because they don't fit with your self-constructed gender identity and whatever baggage you've attached to that, I think you're doing yourself a very large disservice by preventing personal growth.

To clarify, I'm not saying All men or women a a certain way.  That's ridiculous.  But anyone who hasn't noticed this trend might have their gender neutrality goggles on

Cookie78

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7698 on: April 10, 2015, 03:05:51 PM »
I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.

I'm a woman and I tend to fall in the straightforward, looking for solutions and feedback category.  I doubt that there's anything particularly innate to gender that would cause someone to prefer one method or another.  And of course we've seen that women make up a large part of this forum and mustachians in general.

However, there are obviously strong differences in how men and women are socialized and taught to respond to situations, especially conflict.  If someone is used to having feedback presented harshly and without regard to personal feelings (a situation many men are in, because they're taught to ignore their feelings from a very early age), then they can have a hard time recognizing the careful, gentle feedback interspersed within conditional and sympathetic statements.  On the other hand, if someone is used to having feedback presented with care to avoid hurting feelings (a situation many women are in, because they're taught to avoid confrontation from a very early age), then straightforward feedback can feel particularly harsh or even rude.  Personally, I think these socialized gender roles do no one any favors.  It is a valuable life skill to be able to present and understand both gentle and harsh feedback styles and to be flexible in this regard.  It's also a valuable life skill to understand when someone is just venting vs actually asking for advice.  If you're viewing any of these skills as inappropriate or beneath you because they don't fit with your self-constructed gender identity and whatever baggage you've attached to that, I think you're doing yourself a very large disservice by preventing personal growth.

To clarify, I'm not saying All men or women a a certain way.  That's ridiculous.  But anyone who hasn't noticed this trend might have their gender neutrality goggles on

I've heard this theory before, but I figure I must choose my friends carefully because I haven't had to experience it. Or maybe my friends choose who they would like to complain to carefully (not me) so that they will get sympathy and not feedback.

Or maybe I have goggles, I dunno.

I have had people clarify whether I wanted feedback, or just someone to listen, before they gave me their opinions and suggestions.

Cookie78

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7699 on: April 10, 2015, 03:06:42 PM »
DP