Author Topic: Overheard at Work  (Read 13253436 times)

Hall11235

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9450 on: July 23, 2015, 11:06:37 AM »
The same future-pool owning coworker got a call last week from his wife who, without telling him, went out and bought a used car. Apparently they had talked about eventually doing that, but she just went out on her own and did it.

This poor family.

Oh, I can beat that. My cousin-in-law bought a new HOUSE in a DIFFERENT state without telling her husband. She wanted to move, he didn't; so she just did it.

They did end up moving, but SHOCKINGLY, the marriage didn't last much longer.

They have kids in college, so it isn't like they were strangers who didn't know each other; they had been married a LONG time.

I am always so confused when couples don't talk. I'm an extreme INTJ and even I know that I have to at least talk to my SO every once in a while. Especially about money things.

I'm a red panda

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9451 on: July 23, 2015, 11:19:32 AM »
The same future-pool owning coworker got a call last week from his wife who, without telling him, went out and bought a used car. Apparently they had talked about eventually doing that, but she just went out on her own and did it.

This poor family.

Oh, I can beat that. My cousin-in-law bought a new HOUSE in a DIFFERENT state without telling her husband. She wanted to move, he didn't; so she just did it.

They did end up moving, but SHOCKINGLY, the marriage didn't last much longer.

They have kids in college, so it isn't like they were strangers who didn't know each other; they had been married a LONG time.

I am always so confused when couples don't talk. I'm an extreme INTJ and even I know that I have to at least talk to my SO every once in a while. Especially about money things.

I have no doubt they talked about money. Things like "I know you miss your friends in (state 2), but there is a recession right now (this was 2008), and my job is here in (state 1). I tried to transfer, I couldn't. We can't move without one of us having a job. Our child is about to enter college, we have a house here that likely isn't going to sell because the market has completely tanked and we are underwater. We have to ride it out."

It was a passive aggressive, I'm a baby who wants to get my way move; not a no communication issue.

(I remember our realtor telling us in a married couple it takes 1 to buy a house, but 2 to sell. Laws are apparently weird.)

BlueHouse

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9452 on: July 23, 2015, 11:34:35 AM »

Y'all is always plural; "all y'all" is reflexive or emphatic. :-)

Man how did I miss the y'all conversation?

I agree- y'all is NEVER singular. It is always plural.
All y'all is more plural.

Oh boy, now I'll have to try and sneak "all y'all" into daily conversation and see if anyone notices!

I would love to hear such a robust southernism pulled off in a British accent.

I had a coworker previously who was from rural NC but lived in London for 5+ years - fabulous accent!

And while I'm here, we also say y'all in Kansas, where I'm from though not all y'all, I've only heard that in NC. Another NC favorite of mine is "might could" as in:
You might could do that but instead maybe you should do this.

Love it.

Or else "fixin' to" - I'm fixin' to go to the store, can I borrow your credit card?

"Fixin' to" is a popular expression in Kentucky as well, followed shortly with the standard confirmation query, "Ya-un-to?"

Ever heard "of the night"? Its been a while since I heard anyone use it in a sentence but I recall it being used in place of tonight or last night. Might have been a one man linguistic malfunction but that's what a fellow I knew two decades ago would say.
The brits in this forum might be interested to know that the only place in America that "I reckon" is commonly heard is from very rural country folk.  I think this might start to change as we are exposed to more British television, but I know anytime I ever heard the term, it was used as part of a joke about "dumb southerners". 

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9453 on: July 23, 2015, 11:50:33 AM »
It blows my mind why people would want a pool. I lived in a house where we had an in-ground pool for about 15 years (we bought it foreclosed). God bless my father. He did all the maintenance himself. It took so much time and money to upkeep. What a waste. There is literally a beach 10 minutes drive in Mass where they live. Not a "nasty lake beach" but the ocean beach. I far prefer lakes, but maybe that's because I grew up in Minnesota.
I know.

For me, I think I'd love a pool, except for the work.  But then, I swim.  I know people who have pools.

But I also have a 3 year old.  Who has no fear.  So every time I look at a house (I'm not house hunting, just curious), my first instinct on the pool is "no way".

mm1970

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9454 on: July 23, 2015, 11:54:26 AM »
Quote
CW: "Hey, we're throwing a party for you! We're going to [steakhouse].
You: "I'm vegan."
CW: "Sure, but everyone else picked [steakhouse] and we already booked a table.
You: "But I don't eat steak. Why didn't you ask me?"
CW: "Oh, the whole office wanted to go to [steakhouse] so we thought you wouldn't mind."
You: "But it's supposed to be my party..."

Result: Asshole
This happened to my vegetarian friend a LOT.  They always took her to Outback Steakhouse.

jinga nation

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9455 on: July 23, 2015, 12:04:58 PM »
The same future-pool owning coworker got a call last week from his wife who, without telling him, went out and bought a used car. Apparently they had talked about eventually doing that, but she just went out on her own and did it.

This poor family.
This jogged my memory of the other thing I just posted, FTR (it's a paraphrase of something I've heard several times but don't think I ever shared)
I just don't understand how people in a committed relationship could basically function as adversaries, which is what's happening in both cases. It's the classic tragedy of the commons writ small - marital finances are a free-for-all where nobody thinks about the endgame and all they do is fight for whatever they can get, right now, regardless of the long-term impact.

I had a class on effective negotiation where they illustrated many cases in which two people get locked into a battle of wills over something without realizing there's a way for all parties to get what they need, if only they take a creative and collaborative problem-solving approach. That was really an eye-opener for me.

The example was two people arguing over an orange and never discovering that one only wants the zest for baking while the other wants a glass of juice. Real-life examples might be a little more nuanced, and obviously a dollar is just a dollar, but we could all do a better job of looking at the big picture to maximize utility for everyone involved. These examples here are pretty much the opposite end of the continuum.

This brings back hilarious memories of my wife's sister and her husband. They were visiting us and went shopping to the malls and factory outlets. My wife's sister bought 6 pairs of footwear at Skechers, as they were Buy One Pair Get Half off the 2nd pair. Her husband was irked he had only 4 pairs, so he forced himself to buy 2 more pairs which he didn't like just to "even up" with his wife. This scenario repeated when they bought sweaters/sweatshirts/jackets/outerwear. At some point my wife and I didn't want to hang out with them anymore as all they did was shop and my wife and I got really bored since we're happy with what we have. We decided there and then that when relatives came to visit, we wouldn't take them shopping.

Beaker

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9456 on: July 23, 2015, 01:43:54 PM »
Quote
CW: "Hey, we're throwing a party for you! We're going to [steakhouse].
You: "I'm vegan."
CW: "Sure, but everyone else picked [steakhouse] and we already booked a table.
You: "But I don't eat steak. Why didn't you ask me?"
CW: "Oh, the whole office wanted to go to [steakhouse] so we thought you wouldn't mind."
You: "But it's supposed to be my party..."

Result: Asshole
This happened to my vegetarian friend a LOT.  They always took her to Outback Steakhouse.

I just remembered that we actually did that to a friend of mine once. It was his birthday, after a longish round of negotiations we end up at a Brazilian steakhouse. He had phenylketonuria (for real, not self-diagnosed or anything), which in short means extremely limited protein intake regardless of source. It was a pretty thoughtless thing to do.

But that place had a fantastic salad bar, so it worked out.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9457 on: July 23, 2015, 02:11:43 PM »
Quote
CW: "Hey, we're throwing a party for you! We're going to [steakhouse].
You: "I'm vegan."
CW: "Sure, but everyone else picked [steakhouse] and we already booked a table.
You: "But I don't eat steak. Why didn't you ask me?"
CW: "Oh, the whole office wanted to go to [steakhouse] so we thought you wouldn't mind."
You: "But it's supposed to be my party..."

Result: Asshole
This happened to my vegetarian friend a LOT.  They always took her to Outback Steakhouse.

I just remembered that we actually did that to a friend of mine once. It was his birthday, after a longish round of negotiations we end up at a Brazilian steakhouse. He had phenylketonuria (for real, not self-diagnosed or anything), which in short means extremely limited protein intake regardless of source. It was a pretty thoughtless thing to do.

But that place had a fantastic salad bar, so it worked out.

Yeah, if I am ever in Fogo de Choa, I likely would just get the salad bar. It looks insanely impressive and full of enough things and at half the price. Plus, if I ever wanted to a eat a few nibbles of the cooked meats, I'm sure that someone I went with would slip me a few chunks. That said, I don't think I would ever spend $60 for a dinner except as a special occasion or a work dinner.

Heck, our work Christmas party was just going to a local Chinese buffet for dinner.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9458 on: July 23, 2015, 02:21:10 PM »
Quote
CW: "Hey, we're throwing a party for you! We're going to [steakhouse].
You: "I'm vegan."
CW: "Sure, but everyone else picked [steakhouse] and we already booked a table.
You: "But I don't eat steak. Why didn't you ask me?"
CW: "Oh, the whole office wanted to go to [steakhouse] so we thought you wouldn't mind."
You: "But it's supposed to be my party..."

Result: Asshole
This happened to my vegetarian friend a LOT.  They always took her to Outback Steakhouse.

I just remembered that we actually did that to a friend of mine once. It was his birthday, after a longish round of negotiations we end up at a Brazilian steakhouse. He had phenylketonuria (for real, not self-diagnosed or anything), which in short means extremely limited protein intake regardless of source. It was a pretty thoughtless thing to do.

But that place had a fantastic salad bar, so it worked out.

Yeah, if I am ever in Fogo de Choa, I likely would just get the salad bar. It looks insanely impressive and full of enough things and at half the price. Plus, if I ever wanted to a eat a few nibbles of the cooked meats, I'm sure that someone I went with would slip me a few chunks. That said, I don't think I would ever spend $60 for a dinner except as a special occasion or a work dinner.

Heck, our work Christmas party was just going to a local Chinese buffet for dinner.

I used to do the finances for a few restaurants in midtown Manhattan and I'd walk between them, passing Fogo de Chao. I've been meaning to go there ever since. Maybe for my birthday...

It's good food and I would argue that it's price isn't terrible for what you get, but it's generally more than I want to spend on a dinner. I would recommend considering going for lunch, it's usually nearly half off the dinner price. I'm guessing it's because during lunches, people are most cost-conscious, eat less, and generally don't have as much time to sit as with dinner.

I think their location here in Minnesota costs $40 for dinner and $25 for lunch, but I could be mistaken as I haven't been to it.

I recommend going if you want to. We only live once.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9459 on: July 23, 2015, 03:00:53 PM »
Oh man, they're part of Restaurant Week here...

http://www.nycgo.com/venues/fogo-de-chao-churrascaria-brazilian-steakhouse

Now to find someone to watch the baby.

Yeah, restaurant week was last week here. I went to Smack Shack with a good friend, had been wanting to go because I love lobsters and generally don't want to spend the money.

For $30 (before tax and tip) I got oysters and shrimp ceviche as an appetizer. The main course was lobster mac and cheese and a lobster roll, and a slice of keylime pie for dessert. Money well spent!

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9460 on: July 23, 2015, 03:11:52 PM »
As an Indian person, born in Canada, but lived in Atlanta for 20+ years I can't help but use y'all and find this comment more offensive than a lot of the recent race discussions from the Facebook thread.

Don't worry, I'm not mad over it just think it's interesting how American it is to throw around labels and classify people....
I grew up with "you guys" and TBH, after years of migrating around and using/hearing both, I think "y'all" is more functional. Also find it amusing that the more liberal/PC regions prefer the inherently sexist version of the second-person plural... ahaha xD
I run in feminist circles, and "y'all" and "folks" have become standard parts of the vocabulary in those circles for their gender neutrality.

maco

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9461 on: July 23, 2015, 03:18:54 PM »
For a non native english speaker, what does "massa" means? couldn't find on google =(

It's a colloquial or phonetic spelling of master, which draws on the terrible history of the enslavement of black people in the US.

I've been called "master" exactly once in a non-bdsm setting that was the correct use of the term. I was about 13 at the time, and "master" is the male equivalent of "miss".

I'm part of a historical recreation group. Within that group, I am apprenticed to a woman who is a master weaver. As a female master weaver, she uses the title "mistress" within the group. Imagine my confusion when I got a voicemail late at night (she was overseas at the time) from an unknown number (because overseas) that started out with "this is your mistress"!

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9462 on: July 23, 2015, 03:33:52 PM »

I used to do the finances for a few restaurants in midtown Manhattan and I'd walk between them, passing Fogo de Chao. I've been meaning to go there ever since. Maybe for my birthday...
IMHO, it's definitely a worthwhile experience to do once in a long time.  My wife and I go there (or to Chama Gaucha, which is similar) once every couple years. The service is fantastic, the salad bar is just as good as you might imagine, and the meat... oh, the meat!  And the side dishes!  Oh, it's making my mouth water, just thinking about it!

Yes, it's expensive, so we only do it on very special occasions.  If we did it more often, it probably wouldn't be as special.  But we love it every time.  Especially the bacon-wrapped filet mignon.

maco

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9463 on: July 23, 2015, 03:43:56 PM »
Your car gets hit by a deer and insurance doesn't fully cover the cost of the repair.

So there I was, at a red light, just minding my own business when ALL OF A SUDDEN my car gets HIT BY A DEER!!!!  I mean, it was like it just fell from the sky and HIT MY CAR!!!!

*** This was written in jest by someone whose father and sister hit a combined 4 deer in a two-year span (including a nice 10-point a week before season opened that my neighbor had been watching/dreaming about), our insurance threatened to drop the whole family if another deer was hit, and who once had the side of his car run into by a deer...I know it can happen.

No joke, I was driving home, having just bought my first car. As I'm coming to a stop behind a line of cars at a red light, a deer bolts out of the woods, crosses in front of my car, and when it reaches the car in the next lane to my left, just a bit in front of me, it rears on its hind legs and punches the other car (a good 1, 2). Then it turns around and runs back into the woods.

Beaker

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9464 on: July 23, 2015, 04:31:34 PM »
Your car gets hit by a deer and insurance doesn't fully cover the cost of the repair.

So there I was, at a red light, just minding my own business when ALL OF A SUDDEN my car gets HIT BY A DEER!!!!  I mean, it was like it just fell from the sky and HIT MY CAR!!!!

*** This was written in jest by someone whose father and sister hit a combined 4 deer in a two-year span (including a nice 10-point a week before season opened that my neighbor had been watching/dreaming about), our insurance threatened to drop the whole family if another deer was hit, and who once had the side of his car run into by a deer...I know it can happen.

No joke, I was driving home, having just bought my first car. As I'm coming to a stop behind a line of cars at a red light, a deer bolts out of the woods, crosses in front of my car, and when it reaches the car in the next lane to my left, just a bit in front of me, it rears on its hind legs and punches the other car (a good 1, 2). Then it turns around and runs back into the woods.

I was once in a traffic jam on Trail Ridge Road, through Rocky Mountain National Park. After a few minutes I got out to see what the holdup was. Turned out that an elk was standing in the middle of the road, kicking the hell out a car. Just standing there kicking the same spot on the front quarter over and over. The driver was totally stuck - nowhere to go off the sides, line of cars behind him, and the elk blocking the front. That went on for several more minutes, until the elk decided he had adequately asserted his dominance, bellowed at the car once more for good measure, and walked off.

I imagine that was a fun conversation with the insurance and/or body shop.

ohyonghao

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9465 on: July 23, 2015, 05:17:47 PM »

Y'all is always plural; "all y'all" is reflexive or emphatic. :-)

Man how did I miss the y'all conversation?

I agree- y'all is NEVER singular. It is always plural.
All y'all is more plural.

Oh boy, now I'll have to try and sneak "all y'all" into daily conversation and see if anyone notices!

I would love to hear such a robust southernism pulled off in a British accent.

I had a coworker previously who was from rural NC but lived in London for 5+ years - fabulous accent!

And while I'm here, we also say y'all in Kansas, where I'm from though not all y'all, I've only heard that in NC. Another NC favorite of mine is "might could" as in:
You might could do that but instead maybe you should do this.

Love it.

Or else "fixin' to" - I'm fixin' to go to the store, can I borrow your credit card?

"Fixin' to" is a popular expression in Kentucky as well, followed shortly with the standard confirmation query, "Ya-un-to?"

Ever heard "of the night"? Its been a while since I heard anyone use it in a sentence but I recall it being used in place of tonight or last night. Might have been a one man linguistic malfunction but that's what a fellow I knew two decades ago would say.
The brits in this forum might be interested to know that the only place in America that "I reckon" is commonly heard is from very rural country folk.  I think this might start to change as we are exposed to more British television, but I know anytime I ever heard the term, it was used as part of a joke about "dumb southerners".

I work with a lot of Indians in high tech.  Quite often I'll get emails of someone going home early, or coming in late, and they'll say it like, "Coming in late today afternoon." or "Going to remote office today evening."  I've never heard that before, I've always heard "this afternoon" or "this evening".  Then there is their British influence with anti-clockwise and holiday.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9466 on: July 23, 2015, 05:24:54 PM »
This one is from about a year ago. Had a guy working in my group that was working through an agency. He was pretty fresh out of college with around $100k in student loans, and shortly after he started went out and bought a brand new 2015 Juke. He was showing it off over our lunch break and made the comment, "it's nice to finally be able to invest in a good set of wheels". I inwardly cringed and gave him a mental facepunch. At the time he was making about a third of what I do (I drive a 2007 Vibe). Unfortunately for him, he dicked off too much and found himself out on his ass a couple of weeks ago. Hope he's enjoying that "investment". SMH

MoonShadow

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9467 on: July 23, 2015, 05:43:40 PM »
As an Indian person, born in Canada, but lived in Atlanta for 20+ years I can't help but use y'all and find this comment more offensive than a lot of the recent race discussions from the Facebook thread.

Don't worry, I'm not mad over it just think it's interesting how American it is to throw around labels and classify people....
I grew up with "you guys" and TBH, after years of migrating around and using/hearing both, I think "y'all" is more functional. Also find it amusing that the more liberal/PC regions prefer the inherently sexist version of the second-person plural... ahaha xD
I run in feminist circles, and "y'all" and "folks" have become standard parts of the vocabulary in those circles for their gender neutrality.

I have always used 'guys' as a gender neutral phrase, but lately a lot of women have subtly mentioned they would like to be included as well. When dude says "C'mon guys, lets get started!"  doesn't it generally mean everyone within earshot?

Apparently not. I need to find a new word.

Have you not been reading this thread?  The word you are looking for is "y'all".  Say it with a fake southern accent.

seanc0x0

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9468 on: July 23, 2015, 10:22:17 PM »
As an Indian person, born in Canada, but lived in Atlanta for 20+ years I can't help but use y'all and find this comment more offensive than a lot of the recent race discussions from the Facebook thread.

Don't worry, I'm not mad over it just think it's interesting how American it is to throw around labels and classify people....
I grew up with "you guys" and TBH, after years of migrating around and using/hearing both, I think "y'all" is more functional. Also find it amusing that the more liberal/PC regions prefer the inherently sexist version of the second-person plural... ahaha xD
I run in feminist circles, and "y'all" and "folks" have become standard parts of the vocabulary in those circles for their gender neutrality.

I have always used 'guys' as a gender neutral phrase, but lately a lot of women have subtly mentioned they would like to be included as well. When dude says "C'mon guys, lets get started!"  doesn't it generally mean everyone within earshot?

Apparently not. I need to find a new word.

I'd recommend 'folks'.  "C'mon folks, let's get started."   Gets the same meaning across and no gender whatsoever.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9469 on: July 24, 2015, 01:05:39 AM »
Quote
CW: "Hey, we're throwing a party for you! We're going to [steakhouse].
You: "I'm vegan."
CW: "Sure, but everyone else picked [steakhouse] and we already booked a table.
You: "But I don't eat steak. Why didn't you ask me?"
CW: "Oh, the whole office wanted to go to [steakhouse] so we thought you wouldn't mind."
You: "But it's supposed to be my party..."

Result: Asshole
This happened to my vegetarian friend a LOT.  They always took her to Outback Steakhouse.

I would order two bloomin' onions and call it a good day.

As an Indian person, born in Canada, but lived in Atlanta for 20+ years I can't help but use y'all and find this comment more offensive than a lot of the recent race discussions from the Facebook thread.

Don't worry, I'm not mad over it just think it's interesting how American it is to throw around labels and classify people....
I grew up with "you guys" and TBH, after years of migrating around and using/hearing both, I think "y'all" is more functional. Also find it amusing that the more liberal/PC regions prefer the inherently sexist version of the second-person plural... ahaha xD
I run in feminist circles, and "y'all" and "folks" have become standard parts of the vocabulary in those circles for their gender neutrality.

I have always used 'guys' as a gender neutral phrase, but lately a lot of women have subtly mentioned they would like to be included as well. When dude says "C'mon guys, lets get started!"  doesn't it generally mean everyone within earshot?

Apparently not. I need to find a new word.

I'd recommend 'folks'.  "C'mon folks, let's get started."   Gets the same meaning across and no gender whatsoever.

A good generic phrase for "you all" is "you assholes."  Because an asshole is like an opinon: everyone has one!

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9470 on: July 24, 2015, 05:41:29 AM »
How many assholes are on this ship?

Pooplips

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9471 on: July 24, 2015, 05:52:02 AM »
CW: I wanna do (XYZ $$$) but our deal has always been DW gets to spend the same amount on whatever she wants.
Me: *says nothing, still struggling to find a diplomatic way to express how fucked this is*
Inwardly: You do realize you're just fucking yourselves twice as hard with that strategy, right???

CW still had five figures on CC's after last paydown (via cashout refi) and who knows what it is now...

This logic was rampant on a knitting forum I used to frequent. "Well, DH spends $X on his hobby, so I'm entitled to spend an equal amount on mine!"

I started doing this with my SO on small things. She would buy a coffee. I get $4.XX. The only difference is I would same my money. After a month or so she realized the mistake.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9472 on: July 24, 2015, 06:03:03 AM »
Quote
CW: "Hey, we're throwing a party for you! We're going to [steakhouse].
You: "I'm vegan."
CW: "Sure, but everyone else picked [steakhouse] and we already booked a table.
You: "But I don't eat steak. Why didn't you ask me?"
CW: "Oh, the whole office wanted to go to [steakhouse] so we thought you wouldn't mind."
You: "But it's supposed to be my party..."

Result: Asshole
This happened to my vegetarian friend a LOT.  They always took her to Outback Steakhouse.

What? They have that bloomin' onion and wedge salad and baked potatoes. Totally vegan. Also water.

Hall11235

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9473 on: July 24, 2015, 06:45:01 AM »
As an Indian person, born in Canada, but lived in Atlanta for 20+ years I can't help but use y'all and find this comment more offensive than a lot of the recent race discussions from the Facebook thread.

Don't worry, I'm not mad over it just think it's interesting how American it is to throw around labels and classify people....
I grew up with "you guys" and TBH, after years of migrating around and using/hearing both, I think "y'all" is more functional. Also find it amusing that the more liberal/PC regions prefer the inherently sexist version of the second-person plural... ahaha xD
I run in feminist circles, and "y'all" and "folks" have become standard parts of the vocabulary in those circles for their gender neutrality.

I have always used 'guys' as a gender neutral phrase, but lately a lot of women have subtly mentioned they would like to be included as well. When dude says "C'mon guys, lets get started!"  doesn't it generally mean everyone within earshot?

Apparently not. I need to find a new word.

I'd recommend 'folks'.  "C'mon folks, let's get started."   Gets the same meaning across and no gender whatsoever.

I mentioned this thread to my 18 yr old daughter... apparently the word to use is 'Bro' :)

I just graduated with a degree in teaching and is my ed classes we discussed at length to NEVER use the term "guys" when addressing mixed gender groups. We were encouraged to use y'all, folks, ladies&gentlemen, etc. The habit has been ingrained in me, and, even though I am not in a teaching career, I use y'all enough that people sometimes ask where I grew up in the South.

dandarc

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9474 on: July 24, 2015, 07:17:59 AM »
How many assholes are on this ship?
I knew it.  I'm surrounded by assholes.

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9475 on: July 24, 2015, 07:24:50 AM »
Your car gets hit by a deer and insurance doesn't fully cover the cost of the repair.

So there I was, at a red light, just minding my own business when ALL OF A SUDDEN my car gets HIT BY A DEER!!!!  I mean, it was like it just fell from the sky and HIT MY CAR!!!!

*** This was written in jest by someone whose father and sister hit a combined 4 deer in a two-year span (including a nice 10-point a week before season opened that my neighbor had been watching/dreaming about), our insurance threatened to drop the whole family if another deer was hit, and who once had the side of his car run into by a deer...I know it can happen.

No joke, I was driving home, having just bought my first car. As I'm coming to a stop behind a line of cars at a red light, a deer bolts out of the woods, crosses in front of my car, and when it reaches the car in the next lane to my left, just a bit in front of me, it rears on its hind legs and punches the other car (a good 1, 2). Then it turns around and runs back into the woods.

Wow, this happened to me as well.

I was driving down a pretty normal road in a decently populated area. I crossed over an intersection and a deer runs out in front of me, so I stop and wait a second because they are usually in pairs. Then the second deer comes out a moment later runs up to my car "snorts" at it, turns around and kicks my passenger side fender before running off.

lol - a lot of people didn't believe me when I would tell them the story. I had a passenger with me at the time, but she wasn't always by my side when I would tell the story.

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9476 on: July 24, 2015, 07:31:38 AM »
My boss sometimes says, "Ok fellas...blahblah," to address a majority female group. I'm not that sensitive, but that one drives me nuts. One time I answered him (cheerily), "Ok gal!" and the fella stuff tapered off a bit.

When I was a kid one time we were at a party and playing cards with a bunch of kids. Didn't know everyone's names.

When it was the girls turn beside me to go she wasn't paying attention

I said "hey dude, it's your turn"

her and her sister both looked disgusted and responded with some crap like
"she's not a dude, she's a girl"

"ahh okay, dudette" -me


And I remember thinking as a kid - wtf, what a cry baby thing to cry about. Like the fuck if I was trying to imply anything negative.

So, just curious, what bothers you about him saying fellas? I can't imagine it's to degrade women?

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9477 on: July 24, 2015, 07:51:55 AM »
You wouldn't be a very good misogynist if you woke up every morning and vowed to use "guys" or "fellas" to address third-person mixed groups.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9478 on: July 24, 2015, 07:56:36 AM »
My boss sometimes says, "Ok fellas...blahblah," to address a majority female group. I'm not that sensitive, but that one drives me nuts. One time I answered him (cheerily), "Ok gal!" and the fella stuff tapered off a bit.

And I remember thinking as a kid - wtf, what a cry baby thing to cry about. Like the fuck if I was trying to imply anything negative.

So, just curious, what bothers you about him saying fellas? I can't imagine it's to degrade women?
I loathe him so anything he says annoys me. I'm usually cool with whatever, but this subject reminds me of a guy who heard me call a close girlfriend, "Bitch" in an ironic and playful way. It was a term of endearment between two close women. He complained, " How come you can use that word and it's ok?" And we just laughed. There's a Chris Rock bit, and I'm sure lots of others comedians have taken on the topic, on in-group use of terms, like the n-word. But, true dat, if I liked and respected my boss, I'm sure I would barely notice it. On the other hand, what is so difficult in a non-social, work environment about choosing, e.g., everyone, everybody, all, y'all, my dear subordinates, team, teammates, [plural of our shared job title], ladies and gents, people, youse...?

ETA: why do I post this shit? Ugh. I swore I would stay out of this stuff having watched threads derail over it many times here, and now I'm doing it.

ETA 2: I said Ni!
« Last Edit: July 24, 2015, 08:04:17 AM by Basenji »

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9479 on: July 24, 2015, 08:10:43 AM »
"ahh okay, dudette" -me

I always thought that was a pretty fun term.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9480 on: July 24, 2015, 08:12:16 AM »
CW in next cube is showing a visitor pics of a $39K SUV financed for his dainty 90lb wife a few months ago.

CW: "Cause every soccer mom needs a winch, right? lol"
Visitor "Ooh, that's badass".
CW: "We don't do much outdoor stuff"
Me: *rolls eyes so hard, optic nerve damage may ensue*



Don't they know you can't tow with a Prius? or maybe Toyota lied to me! :-)

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9481 on: July 24, 2015, 08:45:24 AM »

I work with a lot of Indians in high tech.  Quite often I'll get emails of someone going home early, or coming in late, and they'll say it like, "Coming in late today afternoon." or "Going to remote office today evening."  I've never heard that before, I've always heard "this afternoon" or "this evening".  Then there is their British influence with anti-clockwise and holiday.

I work with an Indian guy and he uses this construction as well.  I have other Indian friends who don't seem to use it, so I wonder if it is geographical similar to some of the items we have in American English.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9482 on: July 24, 2015, 09:01:40 AM »

So, just curious, what bothers you about him saying fellas? I can't imagine it's to degrade women?

Most people do not use these words to INTENTIONALLY degrade women; they are rarely meant as slurs. But as a society, defaulting to the male -minimizes- the presence and importance of women.



Did anyone notice facebook changed their default icon that shows if you have friend requests? It used to be a male with a female behind him.  Now, if you report being female, the female is in front.  They also changed the "notification" icon, that is a globe. It shows the continent you live on in front, rather than always North America.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9483 on: July 24, 2015, 10:03:47 AM »
I don't hugely mind the default assumptions. I grew up in a part of England so white there was only one non white kid at school and even he was born in England and of Indian descent. I feel like I never really picked up how to treat non white people differently because we never had any to practice on and being good members of the middle class we knew racism was bad. I pretty much treat everyone as if they were white. Male too, it was an all boys school and my extra curricular activities were mostly things like Boy Scouts and so forth.

So if you say you went to see your doctor I'm thinking he's a white man. But equally if you mention the bin men I'm also thinking white men. And if I meet your doctor and she's a black, gay woman I'm still going to treat her with all the respect I'd give a white man because I never got the hang of how exactly you modify your behaviour to adjust to black, gay women. Hell, it's basically the treat others as you wish to be treated. I'm a white man, I like to be treated like a white man, I'll treat you like a white man.

Incidentally it becomes problematic when you start mixing with girls a lot more at university. I am oblivious to subtext and pretty much anything that didn't routinely come up with a bunch of teenage boys.
« Last Edit: July 24, 2015, 10:11:15 AM by dsmexpat »

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9484 on: July 24, 2015, 10:10:45 AM »
As an Indian person, born in Canada, but lived in Atlanta for 20+ years I can't help but use y'all and find this comment more offensive than a lot of the recent race discussions from the Facebook thread.

Don't worry, I'm not mad over it just think it's interesting how American it is to throw around labels and classify people....
I grew up with "you guys" and TBH, after years of migrating around and using/hearing both, I think "y'all" is more functional. Also find it amusing that the more liberal/PC regions prefer the inherently sexist version of the second-person plural... ahaha xD
I run in feminist circles, and "y'all" and "folks" have become standard parts of the vocabulary in those circles for their gender neutrality.

I have always used 'guys' as a gender neutral phrase, but lately a lot of women have subtly mentioned they would like to be included as well. When dude says "C'mon guys, lets get started!"  doesn't it generally mean everyone within earshot?

Apparently not. I need to find a new word.

I'd recommend 'folks'.  "C'mon folks, let's get started."   Gets the same meaning across and no gender whatsoever.
I think my little sister would also suggest "C'mon peeps!" (peeps being short for people)

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9485 on: July 24, 2015, 10:22:11 AM »

So, just curious, what bothers you about him saying fellas? I can't imagine it's to degrade women?

Most people do not use these words to INTENTIONALLY degrade women; they are rarely meant as slurs. But as a society, defaulting to the male -minimizes- the presence and importance of women.



Did anyone notice facebook changed their default icon that shows if you have friend requests? It used to be a male with a female behind him.  Now, if you report being female, the female is in front.  They also changed the "notification" icon, that is a globe. It shows the continent you live on in front, rather than always North America.
In my case the female is in front, even though I am male (and male on Facebook, too). And no, I had not noticed any of this.
In fact, I had never even noticed until now that:
- There is one male and female in that one icon. I always just thought that there is a generic number of generic people.
- The round-thingy icon is a globe.

I don't hugely mind the default assumptions. I grew up in a part of England so white there was only one non white kid at school and even he was born in England and of Indian descent. I feel like I never really picked up how to treat non white people differently because we never had any to practice on and being good members of the middle class we knew racism was bad. I pretty much treat everyone as if they were white. Male too, it was an all boys school and my extra curricular activities were mostly things like Boy Scouts and so forth.

So if you say you went to see your doctor I'm thinking he's a white man. But equally if you mention the bin men I'm also thinking white men. And if I meet your doctor and she's a black, gay woman I'm still going to treat her with all the respect I'd give a white man because I never got the hang of how exactly you modify your behaviour to adjust to black, gay women.

Incidentally it becomes problematic when you start mixing with girls a lot more at university. I am oblivious to subtext.
Wow. I think I am you ;-)
I am subtext-impaired, too. And I am an extreme individualist and quite rational. My girlfriend, on the other hand, is relatively sensitive about issues of racism and nationalism and such. After a while of trying to sensitize me about these issues (that I do understand to exist but have a hard time to understand), she gave up. And she told me that she now understood that these things are hard to understand for me because it would never even occur to me that someone's skin color or gender might matter to a given question unless there is an actual rational connection (like women have a harder time to use a urinal than men). And that, as a result, I would never even get the idea that someone might base something he says or does on racism, beause that whole concept is basically beyond me ;)

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9486 on: July 24, 2015, 10:35:29 AM »
My boss sometimes says, "Ok fellas...blahblah," to address a majority female group. I'm not that sensitive, but that one drives me nuts. One time I answered him (cheerily), "Ok gal!" and the fella stuff tapered off a bit.

And I remember thinking as a kid - wtf, what a cry baby thing to cry about. Like the fuck if I was trying to imply anything negative.

So, just curious, what bothers you about him saying fellas? I can't imagine it's to degrade women?
I loathe him so anything he says annoys me. I'm usually cool with whatever, but this subject reminds me of a guy who heard me call a close girlfriend, "Bitch" in an ironic and playful way. It was a term of endearment between two close women. He complained, " How come you can use that word and it's ok?" And we just laughed. There's a Chris Rock bit, and I'm sure lots of others comedians have taken on the topic, on in-group use of terms, like the n-word. But, true dat, if I liked and respected my boss, I'm sure I would barely notice it. On the other hand, what is so difficult in a non-social, work environment about choosing, e.g., everyone, everybody, all, y'all, my dear subordinates, team, teammates, [plural of our shared job title], ladies and gents, people, youse...?

ETA: why do I post this shit? Ugh. I swore I would stay out of this stuff having watched threads derail over it many times here, and now I'm doing it.

ETA 2: I said Ni!

lol - totally fair. You just don't like the guy so whatever he says irks you.


HairyUpperLip

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9487 on: July 24, 2015, 10:39:20 AM »

So, just curious, what bothers you about him saying fellas? I can't imagine it's to degrade women?

Most people do not use these words to INTENTIONALLY degrade women; they are rarely meant as slurs. But as a society, defaulting to the male -minimizes- the presence and importance of women.

I never even thought of it like that. I just thought it's been human nature to typically default to the more masculine word when available.

I've always been raised to think of women as equals (in life, family, and religion even) so I never would think twice about it personally. I guess actually having respect for people makes it hard to detect when pseudo-respect needs to be used.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9488 on: July 24, 2015, 10:47:55 AM »

I never even thought of it like that. I just thought it's been human nature to typically default to the more masculine word when available.
I don't think default to male is 'human nature' it is male driven society.  If somehow society had evolved as female driven, the default would probably have been the other way around.

Quote
So if you say you went to see your doctor I'm thinking he's a white man. But equally if you mention the bin men I'm also thinking white men. And if I meet your doctor and she's a black, gay woman I'm still going to treat her with all the respect I'd give a white man because I never got the hang of how exactly you modify your behaviour to adjust to black, gay women.
Yeah- and most people would; but then there are those who don't.  I remember a big issue coming up when The Hunger Games came out. A favorite character, Rue, was portrayed by a black actress- and it caused an OUTCRY. People were livid.  Except the book clearly describes her as black, but only briefly. The more memorable part of the book was that she reminded Katniss of her little sister Prim, who was white- so most people probably formed an image of Rue in their head as white.  Reasonable people probably thought "hmm... I missed that" but others went crazy on twitter.

I will honestly say that, as a white female- I don't really face many issues with discrimination. It isn't huge to me to be called "you guys"; but I get momentarily annoyed whenever I'm assumed to be a man here, because a person in a finance forum clearly must be male, right? I think racism is more prevalent than sexism in our society; so in general I don't say much; but I think softly educating people that small things make a difference is important.  If you have only ever been part of the minority, it can be difficult to see the privilege given to you as being the default.

Quote
In my case the female is in front, even though I am male (and male on Facebook, too).
Oh weird. Maybe they just moved the female in front, it used to be male in front.  My husband told me the male was still in front on his, but he possibly- like you- never noticed they were gendered.
« Last Edit: July 24, 2015, 02:07:32 PM by iowajes »

Ghzbani

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9489 on: July 24, 2015, 11:54:38 AM »
come on man

Thanks.  (It bothered me too.

:)

Ahhhh....

You had a little typo there, forgot the colon before your smiley.  Don't worry, I fixed it for you! :)

Epic! You are my hero.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9490 on: July 24, 2015, 12:44:20 PM »

My husband does not seem to have the brain for thinking about money, so I just handle that entire side of our marriage. About eight months ago, I just informed him one day we now had enough money to buy an apartment and I had booked some showings, so could he please be available next Saturday? He's cheap and not-acquisitive and generally agrees we should have lots of savings, so it works out, but I'm reasonably certain he couldn't even estimate accurately his take-home pay, our net worth, the mortgage payment, or other basic info.

What's the difference between an apartment and a condo? In my neck of the woods people rent apartments and buy condos. I have a house so this is only a passing concern but I'm still curious about it. ;)

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9491 on: July 24, 2015, 12:50:10 PM »
What's the difference between an apartment and a condo? In my neck of the woods people rent apartments and buy condos. I have a house so this is only a passing concern but I'm still curious about it. ;)

Semantics.  I think you are generally right that you can buy a condo but you can also rent a condo from the individual condo owner.  Apartments, in my mind, are in apartment buildings in which you cannot buy a unit as an individual and the whole building is owned by the apartment building owners. 

I rent a condo in a building that you can buy units in.  I rent directly from the woman that owns the condo unit.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9492 on: July 24, 2015, 12:51:18 PM »
I mentioned this thread to my 18 yr old daughter... apparently the word to use is 'Bro' :)

Bro works for groups that include the ladies??? Am confused... ;)

I want to hear someone using "y'all" with a Brit or New York accent...

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9493 on: July 24, 2015, 12:55:23 PM »
What's the difference between an apartment and a condo? In my neck of the woods people rent apartments and buy condos. I have a house so this is only a passing concern but I'm still curious about it. ;)

Semantics.  I think you are generally right that you can buy a condo but you can also rent a condo from the individual condo owner.  Apartments, in my mind, are in apartment buildings in which you cannot buy a unit as an individual and the whole building is owned by the apartment building owners. 

I rent a condo in a building that you can buy units in.  I rent directly from the woman that owns the condo unit.
I own a condo that I rent out, either short term or long term.  Right now I have a renter through August, and then he goes back to his main office.  Works for both of us.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9494 on: July 24, 2015, 12:56:45 PM »
Don't they know you can't tow with a Prius? or maybe Toyota lied to me! :-)

In the UK the Prius is rated for towing 3500 pounds...

(My CR-V gets an extra 500 lbs in the UK rating - same vehicle otherwise. They also rate the vehicle capable of towing more with trailer brakes. No mention of that in the USA b/c we have lawyers here and drivers who tow but don't know what they are doing...)

(I might be kidding about the Prius)
« Last Edit: July 24, 2015, 01:01:42 PM by Joe Average »

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9495 on: July 24, 2015, 01:32:31 PM »
What's the difference between an apartment and a condo? In my neck of the woods people rent apartments and buy condos. I have a house so this is only a passing concern but I'm still curious about it. ;)

Semantics.  I think you are generally right that you can buy a condo but you can also rent a condo from the individual condo owner.  Apartments, in my mind, are in apartment buildings in which you cannot buy a unit as an individual and the whole building is owned by the apartment building owners. 

I rent a condo in a building that you can buy units in.  I rent directly from the woman that owns the condo unit.
I knew I'd be glad I went to real estate school eventually!

Condominium developments are defined by each individual state, but they have several characteristics in common. Each residence is legally a separate piece of real property, and each is connected to a share of the land underneath the building (often known as an "air lot", since it's not an actual physical area of the earth), and also comes with shared ownership of the common areas (hallways, roof, rec areas), which are overseen and maintained by a condo association using funds collected from property owners. Whether they are lived in by the owner or rented out is immaterial. An apartment building normally sits on one lot, and the units aren't legally identified as separate pieces of property, because one owner keeps them all and manages them collectively, and all costs are paid out of rents received.

Theoretically, a builder could keep some of the units in a condo development as rentals, but if they kept them all, there'd be no point making it a condo development because of the legal and administrative costs of creating all the units.

Yay!

zephyr911

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9496 on: July 24, 2015, 01:57:24 PM »
This is a bit of a mess when it comes to things like bank financing and there are a lot more rules attached to owning a co-op, so they are cheaper than condos in NYC.
That and you have to get everything approved by the other weirdos who live in the co-op, right?

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9497 on: July 24, 2015, 09:01:57 PM »
What's the difference between an apartment and a condo? In my neck of the woods people rent apartments and buy condos. I have a house so this is only a passing concern but I'm still curious about it. ;)

Semantics.  I think you are generally right that you can buy a condo but you can also rent a condo from the individual condo owner.  Apartments, in my mind, are in apartment buildings in which you cannot buy a unit as an individual and the whole building is owned by the apartment building owners. 

I rent a condo in a building that you can buy units in.  I rent directly from the woman that owns the condo unit.
I knew I'd be glad I went to real estate school eventually!

Condominium developments are defined by each individual state, but they have several characteristics in common. Each residence is legally a separate piece of real property, and each is connected to a share of the land underneath the building (often known as an "air lot", since it's not an actual physical area of the earth), and also comes with shared ownership of the common areas (hallways, roof, rec areas), which are overseen and maintained by a condo association using funds collected from property owners. Whether they are lived in by the owner or rented out is immaterial. An apartment building normally sits on one lot, and the units aren't legally identified as separate pieces of property, because one owner keeps them all and manages them collectively, and all costs are paid out of rents received.

Theoretically, a builder could keep some of the units in a condo development as rentals, but if they kept them all, there'd be no point making it a condo development because of the legal and administrative costs of creating all the units.

Yay!


Similarly, from my understanding having owned both, a townhouse is structured differently than a condo in that you actually own the land under your unit. However, you also have townhouse style condos (I live in one😃) where the homes are not stacked like apartments but the ownership structure is like that of a condo in that you own shares in the association rather than the land itself.

Maybe others know more?


Wait, Joe Average, you were really told that a Prius can tow or this was a joke? When I moved a few years back I tried to get a hitch on my Prius and Toyota was like "oh hell no"... Maybe it just couldn't tow enough weight to be worth it? But I was planning to tow something smaller than a camper!

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9498 on: July 25, 2015, 08:22:10 AM »

So, just curious, what bothers you about him saying fellas? I can't imagine it's to degrade women?

Most people do not use these words to INTENTIONALLY degrade women; they are rarely meant as slurs. But as a society, defaulting to the male -minimizes- the presence and importance of women.



Pure BS. Suck it up, grow a thicker skin, and worry about something worthwhile.

Bad mood on a Saturday here, sorry y'all.

midweststache

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #9499 on: July 25, 2015, 08:45:18 AM »

So, just curious, what bothers you about him saying fellas? I can't imagine it's to degrade women?

Most people do not use these words to INTENTIONALLY degrade women; they are rarely meant as slurs. But as a society, defaulting to the male -minimizes- the presence and importance of women.



Pure BS. Suck it up, grow a thicker skin, and worry about something worthwhile.

Bad mood on a Saturday here, sorry y'all.

Pure BS. Representation matters. Feeling included in a work environment and not maligned matters. Some people would let "guys" slide, as it's become fairly gender neutral in use; fellas is clearly male leaning. Why not the term "everyone"? It's an easy change to make, and goes a long way in creating a more equitable environment.

Perhaps unrelated, but it popped in my head when I saw this thread: https://thenib.com/lighten-up-4f7f96ca8a7e

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!