Overheard at Work

[FatCat]

I figured I should reply to this, seeing as how I'm sitting on the toilet.  It varies from only a few minutes up to maybe 30 minutes.  I poop like 6 times a day, every day.  I eat plenty of fruits and veggies, I just poop a lot.  The drs have no idea what's up.

Worth trying the Squatty Potty. It works, your mileage may vary.

That's not the issue at all.  It's digestive.  Frequent diarrhea and loose stool along with stomach cramps.

I had a conversation with my wife when she was constipated, but I can't relate to her because I don't understand what being constipated is like.  I've never been constipated so i've never experienced that sensation.

And now you all know more about my digestive tract and bathroom habits than you ever wanted to.

Do you have Crohn's or something?

[frugalnacho]

I figured I should reply to this, seeing as how I'm sitting on the toilet.  It varies from only a few minutes up to maybe 30 minutes.  I poop like 6 times a day, every day.  I eat plenty of fruits and veggies, I just poop a lot.  The drs have no idea what's up.

Worth trying the Squatty Potty. It works, your mileage may vary.

That's not the issue at all.  It's digestive.  Frequent diarrhea and loose stool along with stomach cramps.

I had a conversation with my wife when she was constipated, but I can't relate to her because I don't understand what being constipated is like.  I've never been constipated so i've never experienced that sensation.

And now you all know more about my digestive tract and bathroom habits than you ever wanted to.

Do you have Crohn's or something?

No.  No crohn's, celiacs, allergies, ibs or anything.  I've been to several doctors.  As far as they can tell I am perfectly healthy, I just get stomach cramps and diarrhea a lot.  I have tried various diet changes, and absolutely nothing helps.  Not eating meat, not eating gluten, not eating dairy, not eating sugar, etc has no effect.  There appears to be no rhyme or reason to it.  It just flares up bad about twice a week, and nearly daily on a smaller scale.  Half the time there is no cramping, but still frequent pooping. 

[skunkfunk]

I figured I should reply to this, seeing as how I'm sitting on the toilet.  It varies from only a few minutes up to maybe 30 minutes.  I poop like 6 times a day, every day.  I eat plenty of fruits and veggies, I just poop a lot.  The drs have no idea what's up.

Worth trying the Squatty Potty. It works, your mileage may vary.

That's not the issue at all.  It's digestive.  Frequent diarrhea and loose stool along with stomach cramps.

I had a conversation with my wife when she was constipated, but I can't relate to her because I don't understand what being constipated is like.  I've never been constipated so i've never experienced that sensation.

And now you all know more about my digestive tract and bathroom habits than you ever wanted to.

Do you have Crohn's or something?

No.  No crohn's, celiacs, allergies, ibs or anything.  I've been to several doctors.  As far as they can tell I am perfectly healthy, I just get stomach cramps and diarrhea a lot.  I have tried various diet changes, and absolutely nothing helps.  Not eating meat, not eating gluten, not eating dairy, not eating sugar, etc has no effect.  There appears to be no rhyme or reason to it.  It just flares up bad about twice a week, and nearly daily on a smaller scale.  Half the time there is no cramping, but still frequent pooping.

Same here! It's "idiopathic" meaning they don't know why (they've ruled everything out) and since it apparently isn't serious they don't really care. The only thing that stops it for me is immodium, if you care to feel what constipation is like.

[frugalnacho]

I figured I should reply to this, seeing as how I'm sitting on the toilet.  It varies from only a few minutes up to maybe 30 minutes.  I poop like 6 times a day, every day.  I eat plenty of fruits and veggies, I just poop a lot.  The drs have no idea what's up.

Worth trying the Squatty Potty. It works, your mileage may vary.

That's not the issue at all.  It's digestive.  Frequent diarrhea and loose stool along with stomach cramps.

I had a conversation with my wife when she was constipated, but I can't relate to her because I don't understand what being constipated is like.  I've never been constipated so i've never experienced that sensation.

And now you all know more about my digestive tract and bathroom habits than you ever wanted to.

Do you have Crohn's or something?

No.  No crohn's, celiacs, allergies, ibs or anything.  I've been to several doctors.  As far as they can tell I am perfectly healthy, I just get stomach cramps and diarrhea a lot.  I have tried various diet changes, and absolutely nothing helps.  Not eating meat, not eating gluten, not eating dairy, not eating sugar, etc has no effect.  There appears to be no rhyme or reason to it.  It just flares up bad about twice a week, and nearly daily on a smaller scale.  Half the time there is no cramping, but still frequent pooping.

Same here! It's "idiopathic" meaning they don't know why (they've ruled everything out) and since it apparently isn't serious they don't really care. The only thing that stops it for me is immodium, if you care to feel what constipation is like.

I take immodium on a near daily basis.  I get it at costco. 

[JLee]

Someone told me today that his wife's car's water pump failed, so they went out and bought a new Jeep Cherokee.  I told him 'well, that's an expensive fix..'

[I'm a red panda]

Someone told me today that his wife's car's water pump failed, so they went out and bought a new Jeep Cherokee.  I told him 'well, that's an expensive fix..'

My husband likes to tell people I bought a new car because I didn't want to change the windshield wipers. 

Which is kind of true, but it was more of a "if I get the new car now instead of later I won't have to do this."  I had been talking about replacing the car for 3 years already.  It was a straw that broke the camels back sort of thing.

[mm1970]

When it's hung PROPERLY it's MUCH easier to tear off the piece you need with one hand. When he hangs it the other way I need two hands. Totally messes up my efficiency OCD!

So what is that other hand so busy doing that it can't help tear off some TP? ;)

The other hand feels entitled and considers itself above such degrading work.

Or maybe holding a sudoku book or phone.  Or does everyone just stare at the wall while doing their business?

A better question is, how the frick long does it take you to poop?  You might need to eat more fruits and vegetables, mate, if you have to bring distractions into the bathroom with you all the time.

This is what I always thought.  I never understood why it takes my spouse SO LONG in the bathroom. I still don't!  I have to remind him that he needs to ask everyone if they need to use the bathroom before he goes in there.

In any event, it's the only room with a lock, so the only place you can get privacy, usually.  But still, there's only one bathroom in our house - get in, get out, move on!  (He gets plenty of fiber).

[LucyBIT]

Hi, I'm 25 years old, 5'10" 210, and am living with my parents. I sleep on a twin sized bed. I didn't have anything bigger than a twinXL until a sublease during my internship when I had a queen. Then I was sharing a full. Then I had my own full. Then I was sharing a full again.

I'd rank the sleeping arrangements as follows: (KS:King, single sleeping; FD: Full, double sleeping)

KS=QS=FS>TS>KD>>QD>>FD>>>TD. I don't think most people realize that a king is only two twin XL's pushed together. So when I move out, I will settle for a Queen if space doesn't permit a king, but I am trying REALLY hard for a king. And there is no way I'm going back to a full. Ever.

I'm 5'11" and 210 myself. I've never had more than a twin when I wasn't sharing with someone, and I still don't see the point. Always been quite comfy.
Never felt the need for more than a queen with two people, either.
Not even with a cat and a dog.

Makes me wonder what all you perverts are doing with those big fancy king-size beds.... ;)

My husband is 6'4" and used to flail in his sleep. It was rough in a full, but after several years in a queen he's stopped flailing, so it works for us, except when the cats decide to take up a third of the bed.

[boarder42]

Hi, I'm 25 years old, 5'10" 210, and am living with my parents. I sleep on a twin sized bed. I didn't have anything bigger than a twinXL until a sublease during my internship when I had a queen. Then I was sharing a full. Then I had my own full. Then I was sharing a full again.

I'd rank the sleeping arrangements as follows: (KS:King, single sleeping; FD: Full, double sleeping)

KS=QS=FS>TS>KD>>QD>>FD>>>TD. I don't think most people realize that a king is only two twin XL's pushed together. So when I move out, I will settle for a Queen if space doesn't permit a king, but I am trying REALLY hard for a king. And there is no way I'm going back to a full. Ever.

I'm 5'11" and 210 myself. I've never had more than a twin when I wasn't sharing with someone, and I still don't see the point. Always been quite comfy.
Never felt the need for more than a queen with two people, either.
Not even with a cat and a dog.

Makes me wonder what all you perverts are doing with those big fancy king-size beds.... ;)

My husband is 6'4" and used to flail in his sleep. It was rough in a full, but after several years in a queen he's stopped flailing, so it works for us, except when the cats decide to take up a third of the bed.

being 6 4 i cant beleive you slept together in a full i dont fit in a full.  a queen just puts you closer together than a king and is the same length we have a king i like the space b/c i get hot and dont want someone else on top of me... why does weight matter here.  if you're grossly over weight that is just as unmustacian as having CC debt. 

[MandalayVA]

I figured I should reply to this, seeing as how I'm sitting on the toilet.  It varies from only a few minutes up to maybe 30 minutes.  I poop like 6 times a day, every day.  I eat plenty of fruits and veggies, I just poop a lot.  The drs have no idea what's up.

Worth trying the Squatty Potty. It works, your mileage may vary.

When you start measuring it in miles, you know you have a problem.

[Kris]

When it's hung PROPERLY it's MUCH easier to tear off the piece you need with one hand. When he hangs it the other way I need two hands. Totally messes up my efficiency OCD!

So what is that other hand so busy doing that it can't help tear off some TP? ;)

The other hand feels entitled and considers itself above such degrading work.

Or maybe holding a sudoku book or phone.  Or does everyone just stare at the wall while doing their business?

A better question is, how the frick long does it take you to poop?  You might need to eat more fruits and vegetables, mate, if you have to bring distractions into the bathroom with you all the time.

This is what I always thought.  I never understood why it takes my spouse SO LONG in the bathroom. I still don't!  I have to remind him that he needs to ask everyone if they need to use the bathroom before he goes in there.

In any event, it's the only room with a lock, so the only place you can get privacy, usually.  But still, there's only one bathroom in our house - get in, get out, move on!  (He gets plenty of fiber).

I've noticed that in my experience, men tend to take much, much longer in the bathroom than women.  Can't figure it out.  Every woman I know is, "Get in, do your business, get out."  I've often wondered if men in general have more digestive/intestinal problems than women.

[SisterX]

When it's hung PROPERLY it's MUCH easier to tear off the piece you need with one hand. When he hangs it the other way I need two hands. Totally messes up my efficiency OCD!

So what is that other hand so busy doing that it can't help tear off some TP? ;)

The other hand feels entitled and considers itself above such degrading work.

Or maybe holding a sudoku book or phone.  Or does everyone just stare at the wall while doing their business?

A better question is, how the frick long does it take you to poop?  You might need to eat more fruits and vegetables, mate, if you have to bring distractions into the bathroom with you all the time.

I have 3 kids. sometimes its the only peace and quiet I get. has to be said that they are much better now they are older...

With my kid, bathroom time for mommy = screaming on the other side of the door time for the kiddo.  Lots of incentive to make my trips to the bathroom as short as possible.

[rocksinmyhead]

I've never owned a 55" television, and only upgraded from a full size mattress when my wife and I first moved in together. Who buys this stuff for a kid in elementary school?

A 55" TV hurts my eyes if I'm not halfway across the room from it. I can't imagine this in a kids room.  It must be huge. Of course they do have a queen bed.


I have noticed most of my friends go from crib to full size bed.  They figure they will skip the expense of "toddler bed" and get the bed the kid will take with them to college.  (When I was a kid I had a twin until I was like 8 and then got a full. It did go to college with me.)

I had a twin until I went to grad school. makes it pretty cozy for sleepovers in college, but hopefully you like the person so that's fine, LOL. I got a full after college and had that until literally a month ago (and my boyfriend and I have been living together for 3 years). we actually both were totally fine with the full, but the mattress was a piece of shit and hurting our backs so we figured we might as well get one that's a little bigger while we're at it. we're not huge but we're not super tiny (5'8" and 6'0", pretty average width-wise, but neither of us are flailers).

I am dumbfounded by people who buy their kid anything bigger than a twin. my parents bought my sister a full in high school and I was stunned! it takes up so much space, plus it's total hedonic adaptation. let them buy that shit themselves when they're out of college and have a real job! LOL.

When it's hung PROPERLY it's MUCH easier to tear off the piece you need with one hand. When he hangs it the other way I need two hands. Totally messes up my efficiency OCD!

So what is that other hand so busy doing that it can't help tear off some TP? ;)

The other hand feels entitled and considers itself above such degrading work.

Or maybe holding a sudoku book or phone.  Or does everyone just stare at the wall while doing their business?

A better question is, how the frick long does it take you to poop?  You might need to eat more fruits and vegetables, mate, if you have to bring distractions into the bathroom with you all the time.

This is what I always thought.  I never understood why it takes my spouse SO LONG in the bathroom. I still don't!  I have to remind him that he needs to ask everyone if they need to use the bathroom before he goes in there.

In any event, it's the only room with a lock, so the only place you can get privacy, usually.  But still, there's only one bathroom in our house - get in, get out, move on!  (He gets plenty of fiber).

I've noticed that in my experience, men tend to take much, much longer in the bathroom than women.  Can't figure it out.  Every woman I know is, "Get in, do your business, get out."  I've often wondered if men in general have more digestive/intestinal problems than women.

I've noticed the same and have also wondered this! I realize it's totally normal for people to read/use their phone in the bathroom, but I have NEVER needed to do this. just a fast pooper I guess?

[TomTX]

Hi, I'm 25 years old, 5'10" 210, and am living with my parents. I sleep on a twin sized bed. I didn't have anything bigger than a twinXL until a sublease during my internship when I had a queen. Then I was sharing a full. Then I had my own full. Then I was sharing a full again.

I'd rank the sleeping arrangements as follows: (KS:King, single sleeping; FD: Full, double sleeping)

KS=QS=FS>TS>KD>>QD>>FD>>>TD. I don't think most people realize that a king is only two twin XL's pushed together. So when I move out, I will settle for a Queen if space doesn't permit a king, but I am trying REALLY hard for a king. And there is no way I'm going back to a full. Ever.

I'm 5'11" and 210 myself. I've never had more than a twin when I wasn't sharing with someone, and I still don't see the point. Always been quite comfy.
Never felt the need for more than a queen with two people, either.
Not even with a cat and a dog.

Makes me wonder what all you perverts are doing with those big fancy king-size beds.... ;)

I only get a king in hotels....

Been sharing a queen with my wife for 19 years, though recently having the too frequent addition of a toddler. A kicking toddler.

Hell, in college we shared a twin!

[Elliot]

My partner and I are tallish people of normal build. We share queen, even though we tend to be spooners. Where else would the pitbulls sleep, in the floor like some kind of animal??

[RysChristensen]

My partner and I are tallish people of normal build. We share queen, even though we tend to be spooners. Where else would the pitbulls sleep, in the floor like some kind of animal??

Don't be silly! Everybody knows the dog(s) get their 90% of the bed and the human(s) hang on to the fitted sheet to stay on... I probably shouldn't know that you can fit one fat chick and two border collies on a twin size aero bed, as long as the human stays firmly in their "lightning strike" zig-zag position with one dog behind the knees, and one in front of the chest like a demented % sign.

[Eric]

I've noticed that in my experience, men tend to take much, much longer in the bathroom than women.  Can't figure it out.  Every woman I know is, "Get in, do your business, get out."  I've often wondered if men in general have more digestive/intestinal problems than women.

It's enjoyable.  Why would I rush it?

[gimp]

It's because it's the one place we can be alone without someone trying to talk to us. Take a phone, get comfortable.

We take far less time in social settings, though. We don't hold everyone up for 5 minutes...

[RyanAtTanagra]

I never understood why people spent a lot of time on the throne either, I was a 'sit down, go, clean up, done', 2-3 minutes tops.  If I didn't have to go right away, why sit there and wait for it to happen?  Just wait till it's ready before even going into the bathroom, right?  Then I got a smartphone and started wasting time on the pot at work.  After sitting there for a few minutes after I was done I went 'oh hey what's this, there's more'.  If you sit there a bit, you'll get some more moving through that you didn't know was there.  I don't know if this is what everyone is doing, but it's become routine for me now.

And with that I have to say I think this is as far off topic as we can go, I think we've hit a new level...

[Dr.Vibrissae]

Discussing a mutual friend, I learned this gem.

Spouse 1 travels on a toll road to and from work, and so had a monthly EZ Pass which was set up for payment on a parent's cc.  Parent cancelled cc and unbeknownst (?) to S1 the EZ Pass expired, so they continued to travel on the toll road with and expired pass. So far, it's not great, but within the realm of comprehension. However, when notices of tolls due began arriving at the house S1 just ignored them/threw them away unopened.  This went on for nearly a year.

Spouse 2 finally notices the multiple letters from the traffic authority, and opens one to discover that S1 has amassed $12000 in unpaid tolls and non-payment fines.  At this point I had to pause and ask if I had misheard that number (I mean $1200 would be bad enough). Things were getting to the point of collections and warrants.

Even crazier, rather than being contrite, S1 was livid that S2 had opened mail addressed to S1. They are getting it paid, but this has used funds they were supposedly saving for a house.  I don't see it ending well, long term.

[lemanfan]

What kind of situation or state of mind would you have to be in NOT to open mail like that?

[CCCA]

Discussing a mutual friend, I learned this gem.

Spouse 1 travels on a toll road to and from work, and so had a monthly EZ Pass which was set up for payment on a parent's cc.  Parent cancelled cc and unbeknownst (?) to S1 the EZ Pass expired, so they continued to travel on the toll road with and expired pass. So far, it's not great, but within the realm of comprehension. However, when notices of tolls due began arriving at the house S1 just ignored them/threw them away unopened.  This went on for nearly a year.

Spouse 2 finally notices the multiple letters from the traffic authority, and opens one to discover that S1 has amassed $12000 in unpaid tolls and non-payment fines.  At this point I had to pause and ask if I had misheard that number (I mean $1200 would be bad enough). Things were getting to the point of collections and warrants.

Even crazier, rather than being contrite, S1 was livid that S2 had opened mail addressed to S1. They are getting it paid, but this has used funds they were supposedly saving for a house.  I don't see it ending well, long term.

Wow, I'm imagining some pretty steep fines because (1) $12000 would be a ridiculous amount to be paying for tolls and (2) that would be an even more ridiculous amount to expect one's parents to be paying for you

[Eric]

Discussing a mutual friend, I learned this gem.

Spouse 1 travels on a toll road to and from work, and so had a monthly EZ Pass which was set up for payment on a parent's cc.  Parent cancelled cc and unbeknownst (?) to S1 the EZ Pass expired, so they continued to travel on the toll road with and expired pass. So far, it's not great, but within the realm of comprehension. However, when notices of tolls due began arriving at the house S1 just ignored them/threw them away unopened.  This went on for nearly a year.

Spouse 2 finally notices the multiple letters from the traffic authority, and opens one to discover that S1 has amassed $12000 in unpaid tolls and non-payment fines.  At this point I had to pause and ask if I had misheard that number (I mean $1200 would be bad enough). Things were getting to the point of collections and warrants.

Even crazier, rather than being contrite, S1 was livid that S2 had opened mail addressed to S1. They are getting it paid, but this has used funds they were supposedly saving for a house.  I don't see it ending well, long term.

Wow, I'm imagining some pretty steep fines because (1) $12000 would be a ridiculous amount to be paying for tolls and (2) that would be an even more ridiculous amount to expect one's parents to be paying for you

Talk about pissing your money away!  I used to get these around Chicago when the electronic toll readers didn't work properly.  A $2 toll and a $100 fine for not having the proper EZ Pass.  Of course if you actually had a valid transponder, you just called them up and it only cost you $2.  But if you didn't respond, well, then they probably tacked on even more fees.  I can see $12K over a year easily.

[Kris]

I've noticed that in my experience, men tend to take much, much longer in the bathroom than women.  Can't figure it out.  Every woman I know is, "Get in, do your business, get out."  I've often wondered if men in general have more digestive/intestinal problems than women.

It's enjoyable.  Why would I rush it?

Yeah, I think that's not typically the way many women see it. Idk why this seems to be a bit gendered.  I see it more as, Why would I want to hang out in a bathroom?

[Moonwaves]

Yeah, I think that's not typically the way many women see it. Idk why this seems to be a bit gendered.  I see it more as, Why would I want to hang out in a bathroom?

I think it has more to do with what happened in your house when you were growing up. We had a separate toilet downstairs and I can't remember there never being at least one copy of the Reader's Digest lying on the windowsill. So reading on the toilet was just something you did. If you were visiting me  you'd find a pile of magazines on my bathroom windowsill, too. I find it a great way to fit in a another few minutes reading during the day. My sister is the same and all her kids are now, too.

[Cromacster]

I've noticed that in my experience, men tend to take much, much longer in the bathroom than women.  Can't figure it out.  Every woman I know is, "Get in, do your business, get out."  I've often wondered if men in general have more digestive/intestinal problems than women.

It's enjoyable.  Why would I rush it?

Yeah, I think that's not typically the way many women see it. Idk why this seems to be a bit gendered.  I see it more as, Why would I want to hang out in a bathroom?

If you remember the McDonald's Mcafe commercials discussing "My me time".  I always ran a parody commercial through my head where I would be sitting in the bathroom and would say "When a number one turns into a number 2, that's my me time".

For reference, the original commercial
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_mLSVLByKA

[Kris]

I've noticed that in my experience, men tend to take much, much longer in the bathroom than women.  Can't figure it out.  Every woman I know is, "Get in, do your business, get out."  I've often wondered if men in general have more digestive/intestinal problems than women.

It's enjoyable.  Why would I rush it?

Yeah, I think that's not typically the way many women see it. Idk why this seems to be a bit gendered.  I see it more as, Why would I want to hang out in a bathroom?

If you remember the McDonald's Mcafe commercials discussing "My me time".  I always ran a parody commercial through my head where I would be sitting in the bathroom and would say "When a number one turns into a number 2, that's my me time".

For reference, the original commercial
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_mLSVLByKA

Lol!  Thanks for including the original commercial. I don't really watch TV typically, so I hadn't seen it.

[seanc0x0]

What kind of situation or state of mind would you have to be in NOT to open mail like that?

I believe it's called denial, and it's quite common. You wouldn't believe the number of people who don't open bills and just hope they go away.

I was helping a friend move once and they had a box full of unopened credit card bills. Apparently they never checked them, they just paid what they could and tried not to think about it.  I can't imagine that ended well. Fell out of touch with them though, so I hope they eventually smartened up.

[mm1970]

Hi, I'm 25 years old, 5'10" 210, and am living with my parents. I sleep on a twin sized bed. I didn't have anything bigger than a twinXL until a sublease during my internship when I had a queen. Then I was sharing a full. Then I had my own full. Then I was sharing a full again.

I'd rank the sleeping arrangements as follows: (KS:King, single sleeping; FD: Full, double sleeping)

KS=QS=FS>TS>KD>>QD>>FD>>>TD. I don't think most people realize that a king is only two twin XL's pushed together. So when I move out, I will settle for a Queen if space doesn't permit a king, but I am trying REALLY hard for a king. And there is no way I'm going back to a full. Ever.

I'm 5'11" and 210 myself. I've never had more than a twin when I wasn't sharing with someone, and I still don't see the point. Always been quite comfy.
Never felt the need for more than a queen with two people, either.
Not even with a cat and a dog.

Makes me wonder what all you perverts are doing with those big fancy king-size beds.... ;)

I only get a king in hotels....

Been sharing a queen with my wife for 19 years, though recently having the too frequent addition of a toddler. A kicking toddler.

Hell, in college we shared a twin!

Yep, us too.  When we were dating, he had a full.  But we've been married for 19 years, and it's been all queen.  But the kicking toddler means I often end up on the couch.

[Elliot]

My partner and I are tallish people of normal build. We share queen, even though we tend to be spooners. Where else would the pitbulls sleep, in the floor like some kind of animal??

Don't be silly! Everybody knows the dog(s) get their 90% of the bed and the human(s) hang on to the fitted sheet to stay on... I probably shouldn't know that you can fit one fat chick and two border collies on a twin size aero bed, as long as the human stays firmly in their "lightning strike" zig-zag position with one dog behind the knees, and one in front of the chest like a demented % sign.

That's just what packmates do, amirite?

[LeRainDrop]

If you remember the McDonald's Mcafe commercials discussing "My me time".  I always ran a parody commercial through my head where I would be sitting in the bathroom and would say "When a number one turns into a number 2, that's my me time".

This thread is really going down the toilet!  ;-)

https://www.facebook.com/DoodleTimeSarah

[Catbert]

Back when I was supervising union construction work, the contract called for a paper check in hand, by the end of the work day, every Wednesday. During an occasional glitch, I had to waste my time with guys who would voluntarily sit in an office trailer for hours, after work, waiting for the check, even though the company guaranteed that the checks would be hand delivery by the start of work the next day. I also had a few occasions where guys would be in a panic if they thought a check had been mailed to their residence, when they were on vacation, for example. The horror was that their wife might discover that they made WAY more than they thought.  My BIL is the human resources director for a large state. Every few years the payroll gets delayed and he, and his staff, end up driving, sometimes in the dead of night, to hand deliver paychecks to prisons and hospitals. These include facilities that are hours from the capital, since there are staff members that can't go a day, or two, with a check.

Wait, so they're hiding income from their wives? How? Why? Why would you marry someone you couldn't trust like that?

Puuu...Of course they are hiding money from their spouse!  I'm a retired HR manager for the Federal government.    A number of years ago they started to require that everyone do direct deposit.  The frenzy that caused among some (mostly) blue collar males.    God forbid that their wife find out what they made.  It calmed down once they figured out that they could do allotments to other accounts in addition to the checking account.

A couple of years later the Fed started requiring that leave and earning statements get mailed rather than handed out.  Another frenzy until those who were worried figured out that several of them could go together for a PO Box.  For some it was the wife seeing where the money went.  For others it was leave taken to see their GF on the side.

Note:  While the frenzy I was saw was from blue collar males I'm sure the underlying behavior wasn't limited just to men or blue collar employees.  Others just didn't complain to me or stir their union up enough to bother me.

[Merrie]

I've noticed that in my experience, men tend to take much, much longer in the bathroom than women.  Can't figure it out.  Every woman I know is, "Get in, do your business, get out."  I've often wondered if men in general have more digestive/intestinal problems than women.

It's enjoyable.  Why would I rush it?

Yeah, I think that's not typically the way many women see it. Idk why this seems to be a bit gendered.  I see it more as, Why would I want to hang out in a bathroom?

I like to get a minute or so of reading done, but I'm not spending extra time hanging out. Every guy I've ever dated has been a marathoner in the bathroom though. If my college boyfriend went in there with a book, I wasn't seeing him again for a half-hour.

And now my almost 4 yo daughter, if you don't keep track of how long she's been in there, goes into the bathroom, does her business, flushes, and then just sits around and plays. A part of me wonders if she'd take less time in the bathroom if daddy took less time.

[dragoncar]

Back when I was supervising union construction work, the contract called for a paper check in hand, by the end of the work day, every Wednesday. During an occasional glitch, I had to waste my time with guys who would voluntarily sit in an office trailer for hours, after work, waiting for the check, even though the company guaranteed that the checks would be hand delivery by the start of work the next day. I also had a few occasions where guys would be in a panic if they thought a check had been mailed to their residence, when they were on vacation, for example. The horror was that their wife might discover that they made WAY more than they thought.  My BIL is the human resources director for a large state. Every few years the payroll gets delayed and he, and his staff, end up driving, sometimes in the dead of night, to hand deliver paychecks to prisons and hospitals. These include facilities that are hours from the capital, since there are staff members that can't go a day, or two, with a check.

Wait, so they're hiding income from their wives? How? Why? Why would you marry someone you couldn't trust like that?

Puuu...Of course they are hiding money from their spouse!  I'm a retired HR manager for the Federal government.    A number of years ago they started to require that everyone do direct deposit.  The frenzy that caused among some (mostly) blue collar males.    God forbid that their wife find out what they made.  It calmed down once they figured out that they could do allotments to other accounts in addition to the checking account.

A couple of years later the Fed started requiring that leave and earning statements get mailed rather than handed out.  Another frenzy until those who were worried figured out that several of them could go together for a PO Box.  For some it was the wife seeing where the money went.  For others it was leave taken to see their GF on the side.

Note:  While the frenzy I was saw was from blue collar males I'm sure the underlying behavior wasn't limited just to men or blue collar employees.  Others just didn't complain to me or stir their union up enough to bother me.

Hmm, the wives never see the tax returns?  Filing jointly, they have to sign...

[Zaga]

Back when I was supervising union construction work, the contract called for a paper check in hand, by the end of the work day, every Wednesday. During an occasional glitch, I had to waste my time with guys who would voluntarily sit in an office trailer for hours, after work, waiting for the check, even though the company guaranteed that the checks would be hand delivery by the start of work the next day. I also had a few occasions where guys would be in a panic if they thought a check had been mailed to their residence, when they were on vacation, for example. The horror was that their wife might discover that they made WAY more than they thought.  My BIL is the human resources director for a large state. Every few years the payroll gets delayed and he, and his staff, end up driving, sometimes in the dead of night, to hand deliver paychecks to prisons and hospitals. These include facilities that are hours from the capital, since there are staff members that can't go a day, or two, with a check.

Wait, so they're hiding income from their wives? How? Why? Why would you marry someone you couldn't trust like that?

Puuu...Of course they are hiding money from their spouse!  I'm a retired HR manager for the Federal government.    A number of years ago they started to require that everyone do direct deposit.  The frenzy that caused among some (mostly) blue collar males.    God forbid that their wife find out what they made.  It calmed down once they figured out that they could do allotments to other accounts in addition to the checking account.

A couple of years later the Fed started requiring that leave and earning statements get mailed rather than handed out.  Another frenzy until those who were worried figured out that several of them could go together for a PO Box.  For some it was the wife seeing where the money went.  For others it was leave taken to see their GF on the side.

Note:  While the frenzy I was saw was from blue collar males I'm sure the underlying behavior wasn't limited just to men or blue collar employees.  Others just didn't complain to me or stir their union up enough to bother me.

Hmm, the wives never see the tax returns?  Filing jointly, they have to sign...

Sadly they probably don't understand the tax forms.  Besides, the husband can say that the difference is the "guvment" taking their share.

Also, lots of these couples are probably not married.

[Rural]

Back when I was supervising union construction work, the contract called for a paper check in hand, by the end of the work day, every Wednesday. During an occasional glitch, I had to waste my time with guys who would voluntarily sit in an office trailer for hours, after work, waiting for the check, even though the company guaranteed that the checks would be hand delivery by the start of work the next day. I also had a few occasions where guys would be in a panic if they thought a check had been mailed to their residence, when they were on vacation, for example. The horror was that their wife might discover that they made WAY more than they thought.  My BIL is the human resources director for a large state. Every few years the payroll gets delayed and he, and his staff, end up driving, sometimes in the dead of night, to hand deliver paychecks to prisons and hospitals. These include facilities that are hours from the capital, since there are staff members that can't go a day, or two, with a check.

Wait, so they're hiding income from their wives? How? Why? Why would you marry someone you couldn't trust like that?

Puuu...Of course they are hiding money from their spouse!  I'm a retired HR manager for the Federal government.    A number of years ago they started to require that everyone do direct deposit.  The frenzy that caused among some (mostly) blue collar males.    God forbid that their wife find out what they made.  It calmed down once they figured out that they could do allotments to other accounts in addition to the checking account.

A couple of years later the Fed started requiring that leave and earning statements get mailed rather than handed out.  Another frenzy until those who were worried figured out that several of them could go together for a PO Box.  For some it was the wife seeing where the money went.  For others it was leave taken to see their GF on the side.

Note:  While the frenzy I was saw was from blue collar males I'm sure the underlying behavior wasn't limited just to men or blue collar employees.  Others just didn't complain to me or stir their union up enough to bother me.

Hmm, the wives never see the tax returns?  Filing jointly, they have to sign...

TurboTax or TaxAct or another electronic filing option, and nobody signs.

[shelivesthedream]

I figured I should reply to this, seeing as how I'm sitting on the toilet.  It varies from only a few minutes up to maybe 30 minutes.  I poop like 6 times a day, every day.  I eat plenty of fruits and veggies, I just poop a lot.  The drs have no idea what's up.

Worth trying the Squatty Potty. It works, your mileage may vary.

That's not the issue at all.  It's digestive.  Frequent diarrhea and loose stool along with stomach cramps.

I had a conversation with my wife when she was constipated, but I can't relate to her because I don't understand what being constipated is like.  I've never been constipated so i've never experienced that sensation.

And now you all know more about my digestive tract and bathroom habits than you ever wanted to.

Do you have Crohn's or something?

No.  No crohn's, celiacs, allergies, ibs or anything.  I've been to several doctors.  As far as they can tell I am perfectly healthy, I just get stomach cramps and diarrhea a lot.  I have tried various diet changes, and absolutely nothing helps.  Not eating meat, not eating gluten, not eating dairy, not eating sugar, etc has no effect.  There appears to be no rhyme or reason to it.  It just flares up bad about twice a week, and nearly daily on a smaller scale.  Half the time there is no cramping, but still frequent pooping.

Have you tried the FODMAPS program? (The real medical one, not the stupid internet version.) It's based on unusual food groups that contain particular sugars that are hard to digest. You don't eat any of those foods (incl. broccoli, apples, onions) for eight weeks then reintroduce them one at a time. I was sceptical but after four weeks not eating the banned foods I felt AMAZING and as soon as I reintroduced onions and garlic I knew what my 'trigger foods' were. The elimination phase is a bitch but I figured that it's only eight weeks and if it works I'll feel better for the rest of my life.

[slugline]

TurboTax or TaxAct or another electronic filing option, and nobody signs.

Yup. It's the same system that lets crooks file fraudulent returns and get refunds under the names of perfect strangers. So I imagine it would be simple to keep tax returns out of sight from a spouse that doesn't insist on seeing them.

[frugalnacho]

I figured I should reply to this, seeing as how I'm sitting on the toilet.  It varies from only a few minutes up to maybe 30 minutes.  I poop like 6 times a day, every day.  I eat plenty of fruits and veggies, I just poop a lot.  The drs have no idea what's up.

Worth trying the Squatty Potty. It works, your mileage may vary.

That's not the issue at all.  It's digestive.  Frequent diarrhea and loose stool along with stomach cramps.

I had a conversation with my wife when she was constipated, but I can't relate to her because I don't understand what being constipated is like.  I've never been constipated so i've never experienced that sensation.

And now you all know more about my digestive tract and bathroom habits than you ever wanted to.

Do you have Crohn's or something?

No.  No crohn's, celiacs, allergies, ibs or anything.  I've been to several doctors.  As far as they can tell I am perfectly healthy, I just get stomach cramps and diarrhea a lot.  I have tried various diet changes, and absolutely nothing helps.  Not eating meat, not eating gluten, not eating dairy, not eating sugar, etc has no effect.  There appears to be no rhyme or reason to it.  It just flares up bad about twice a week, and nearly daily on a smaller scale.  Half the time there is no cramping, but still frequent pooping.

Have you tried the FODMAPS program? (The real medical one, not the stupid internet version.) It's based on unusual food groups that contain particular sugars that are hard to digest. You don't eat any of those foods (incl. broccoli, apples, onions) for eight weeks then reintroduce them one at a time. I was sceptical but after four weeks not eating the banned foods I felt AMAZING and as soon as I reintroduced onions and garlic I knew what my 'trigger foods' were. The elimination phase is a bitch but I figured that it's only eight weeks and if it works I'll feel better for the rest of my life.

No I haven't, but I'm very skeptical it's one specific food triggering it.  I have food journaled and never found a consistent pattern.  I went round and round with some people on specific triggers, most specifically gluten and dairy.  I kept trying to tell them that my issues were sporadic and not related to any specific food.  Sometimes i'll eat something with gluten and get terrible cramps and diarrhea.  Other times I will eat an entire large pizza by myself and have no issues for days afterwards.   Sometimes I have different reactions to the exact same meal prepared the same way. 

[I'm a red panda]

I had some major stomach issues for years, but no Crohn's or Celiac (yay! cause I love gluten) diagnosis, and did the "21 day tummy" diet (some book- title was something like that) and it cleared up my issues quite well.  I was amazed.

Didn't lose an ounce or an inch though...


I had tried to eliminate almost all these things as trigger foods, and nothing happened- but eliminating them as a group seemed to do it. I'd at least recommend trying it.  Worst thing that happens is you waste a month.

Now I don't follow it unless I have flare ups.

[klystomane]

Yeah, I think that's not typically the way many women see it. Idk why this seems to be a bit gendered.  I see it more as, Why would I want to hang out in a bathroom?

I think it has more to do with what happened in your house when you were growing up. We had a separate toilet downstairs and I can't remember there never being at least one copy of the Reader's Digest lying on the windowsill. So reading on the toilet was just something you did. If you were visiting me  you'd find a pile of magazines on my bathroom windowsill, too. I find it a great way to fit in a another few minutes reading during the day. My sister is the same and all her kids are now, too.

I used to keep the door open and watch the TV in the living room (straight shot view) while sitting on the crapper.

Kids now have tablets and phones so they don't need to do that anymore.

Ah, the old days....

[Pooperman]

Yeah, I think that's not typically the way many women see it. Idk why this seems to be a bit gendered.  I see it more as, Why would I want to hang out in a bathroom?

I think it has more to do with what happened in your house when you were growing up. We had a separate toilet downstairs and I can't remember there never being at least one copy of the Reader's Digest lying on the windowsill. So reading on the toilet was just something you did. If you were visiting me  you'd find a pile of magazines on my bathroom windowsill, too. I find it a great way to fit in a another few minutes reading during the day. My sister is the same and all her kids are now, too.

I used to keep the door open and watch the TV in the living room (straight shot view) while sitting on the crapper.

Kids now have tablets and phones so they don't need to do that anymore.

Ah, the old days....

It's how I got my nickname...

[MgoSam]

Have you tried the FODMAPS program? (The real medical one, not the stupid internet version.) It's based on unusual food groups that contain particular sugars that are hard to digest. You don't eat any of those foods (incl. broccoli, apples, onions) for eight weeks then reintroduce them one at a time. I was sceptical but after four weeks not eating the banned foods I felt AMAZING and as soon as I reintroduced onions and garlic I knew what my 'trigger foods' were. The elimination phase is a bitch but I figured that it's only eight weeks and if it works I'll feel better for the rest of my life.

No I haven't, but I'm very skeptical it's one specific food triggering it.  I have food journaled and never found a consistent pattern.  I went round and round with some people on specific triggers, most specifically gluten and dairy.  I kept trying to tell them that my issues were sporadic and not related to any specific food.  Sometimes i'll eat something with gluten and get terrible cramps and diarrhea.  Other times I will eat an entire large pizza by myself and have no issues for days afterwards.   Sometimes I have different reactions to the exact same meal prepared the same way.

My MIL recently found out that she's allergic to garlic...and then found out that garlic is in everything. Something like that could explain why it seems intermittent. Garlic is in things you wouldn't expect it to be in and not consistently (as in one brand of canned black beans has it and another doesn't)

Does she feel uncomfortable with sunlight and churches, and is she able to see her reflection in the mirror?

[Apples]

To add to the bed size discussion, my parents had me in a double bed since toddlerhood.  I got a new mattress sometime in high school.  The main reason they chose that size bed was to host family members and let them sleep in my room.  My grandparents, aunts and uncles, and older cousins have all slept on that bed at some time or another.  My brothers had two twins in their room, and people only slept there if my room was already hosting someone.  I got to sleep on the couch :p  The whole bed set still works great for my husband and I now!

[dragoncar]

TurboTax or TaxAct or another electronic filing option, and nobody signs.

Yup. It's the same system that lets crooks file fraudulent returns and get refunds under the names of perfect strangers. So I imagine it would be simple to keep tax returns out of sight from a spouse that doesn't insist on seeing them.

You still have to esign an efiling.  So it can't be "nobody signs" but it can be "husband fraudulently signs for wife"

[I'm a red panda]

You still have to esign an efiling.  So it can't be "nobody signs" but it can be "husband fraudulently signs for wife"

Do you really?  What do you do to esign?  Is it just click a button? If so, my husband has always done that for me...
I guess I figured if we were filing jointly he signed for the household.

[FatCat]

Was having a good conversation with a co-worker about retirement until...

Me: You want to minimize your spending to help maximize your savings rate.
Co-worker: Yeah but you don't want to end up shopping at Goodwill like some loser.
Me:

I make more money than most of my friends but I'm the only one that shops at Goodwill. They're all too good for that. Even the really low income, always broke ones. They see it as the lowest of the low.

[BlueHouse]

No.  No crohn's, celiacs, allergies, ibs or anything.  I've been to several doctors.  As far as they can tell I am perfectly healthy, I just get stomach cramps and diarrhea a lot.  I have tried various diet changes, and absolutely nothing helps.  Not eating meat, not eating gluten, not eating dairy, not eating sugar, etc has no effect.  There appears to be no rhyme or reason to it.  It just flares up bad about twice a week, and nearly daily on a smaller scale.  Half the time there is no cramping, but still frequent pooping.

I used to have a similar symptom many years ago.  Turns out I had a problem with unripe vegetables -- specifically green peppers.  Red, orange, yellow peppers, no problem.  Green?  Terrible cramping! 

[Mississippi Mudstache]

You still have to esign an efiling.  So it can't be "nobody signs" but it can be "husband fraudulently signs for wife"

Do you really?  What do you do to esign?  Is it just click a button? If so, my husband has always done that for me...
I guess I figured if we were filing jointly he signed for the household.

Yeah, I sign for my wife pretty much every year. It's not as if she's going to actually check the return for errors. It might as well be written in Sanskrit as far as she's concerned. She knows how much I earn, but she doesn't really care.

[Cheddar Stacker]

You still have to esign an efiling.  So it can't be "nobody signs" but it can be "husband fraudulently signs for wife"

Do you really?  What do you do to esign?  Is it just click a button? If so, my husband has always done that for me...
I guess I figured if we were filing jointly he signed for the household.

If you are a paid tax preparer, you are required to obtain signatures (for your files only) of both spouses. I've often had a hunch many husbands were forging their wives signatures, but more out of laziness than anything fraudulent or inappropriate.

But, when you have access to a software that can efile tax returns, you can file without a signature. Yes this is how tax fraud (ID theft) occurs. Getting signatures is the rule, by so is driving 55 MPH and that rule is broken all the time. I'm just saying, most people follow the rules, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to drive 95 MPH. It happens.