Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)

[TomTX]

Today I got my paperwork back from the tax accountant.  I am almost ALWAYS within a thousand dollars of paying the correct amount of federal/state income taxes, so the refund or amount I owe is very small. 

But this year I have a problem.  I am apparently getting $5,000 returned to me.  I've been giving our federal government a tax free loan all year, and had no idea!

I believe the cause is finding MMM, and deciding to contribute about $60,000 to tax deferred accounts in 2016, instead of...umm...zero?  That's the most likely explanation I can think of, but I'm not sure how the mathematics of that works, because I don't know how my employer decides to handle withholdings...as a math teacher, this troubles me. 

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I already have WAY too much of my assets in cash, and now, more cash.  Ughhh.

Well, you can put the $5k into a 2017 Roth IRA now.

Or just open a taxable account at Vanguard.

[aceyou]

Today I got my paperwork back from the tax accountant.  I am almost ALWAYS within a thousand dollars of paying the correct amount of federal/state income taxes, so the refund or amount I owe is very small. 

But this year I have a problem.  I am apparently getting $5,000 returned to me.  I've been giving our federal government a tax free loan all year, and had no idea!

I believe the cause is finding MMM, and deciding to contribute about $60,000 to tax deferred accounts in 2016, instead of...umm...zero?  That's the most likely explanation I can think of, but I'm not sure how the mathematics of that works, because I don't know how my employer decides to handle withholdings...as a math teacher, this troubles me. 

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I already have WAY too much of my assets in cash, and now, more cash.  Ughhh.

Well, you can put the $5k into a 2017 Roth IRA now.

Or just open a taxable account at Vanguard.

Hi Tom,

I've already filled up my Roth for 2017.  Your suggestion for creating a taxable account at Vanguard is a valid consideration. 

How much hassle would that entail? A little background...

  I'm starting a process of putting about 72k into 403's/457's and and 11k into Roths each year between my wife and I.  Doing that is depleting about 20k of my cash reserves each year.  In a couple years I'll likely want to pull that taxable money back into my bank so I can fill up my tax deferred buckets a bit longer.  I'd want to think about whether opening a taxable account is worth it. 

Thanks.

[TomTX]

Today I got my paperwork back from the tax accountant.  I am almost ALWAYS within a thousand dollars of paying the correct amount of federal/state income taxes, so the refund or amount I owe is very small. 

But this year I have a problem.  I am apparently getting $5,000 returned to me.  I've been giving our federal government a tax free loan all year, and had no idea!

I believe the cause is finding MMM, and deciding to contribute about $60,000 to tax deferred accounts in 2016, instead of...umm...zero?  That's the most likely explanation I can think of, but I'm not sure how the mathematics of that works, because I don't know how my employer decides to handle withholdings...as a math teacher, this troubles me. 

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I already have WAY too much of my assets in cash, and now, more cash.  Ughhh.

Well, you can put the $5k into a 2017 Roth IRA now.

Or just open a taxable account at Vanguard.

Hi Tom,

I've already filled up my Roth for 2017.  Your suggestion for creating a taxable account at Vanguard is a valid consideration. 

How much hassle would that entail? A little background...

  I'm starting a process of putting about 72k into 403's/457's and and 11k into Roths each year between my wife and I.  Doing that is depleting about 20k of my cash reserves each year.  In a couple years I'll likely want to pull that taxable money back into my bank so I can fill up my tax deferred buckets a bit longer.  I'd want to think about whether opening a taxable account is worth it. 

Thanks.

If it's just a couple of years, I wouldn't bother.

Do you have an option to make some of your 403/457 contributions a Roth? At least to "use up" the 15% tax bracket.

Do you have plans to convert your 403/457 into Roth before RMD time? The RMD has a nasty interaction with social security, if you will be eligible. Basically, as income goes up more of SS is taxed. The effective tax rate can be horrifying if you are stuck in the wrong band.

[stache9434]

I was using US Bank's auto loan calculator to see what kind of monthly payment I might be looking at. It assumes that I am trading in my old car and still owe at least $4,000 on it. It's a 20 year old car, WHY WOULD I STILL OWE $4,000 ON IT?!?

( I get being in debt for a vehicle is fairly normal in our society, but I really don't understand why these calculators don't let you put in whatever value you want)

[aceyou]

Thanks.

If it's just a couple of years, I wouldn't bother.

Do you have an option to make some of your 403/457 contributions a Roth? At least to "use up" the 15% tax bracket.

Do you have plans to convert your 403/457 into Roth before RMD time? The RMD has a nasty interaction with social security, if you will be eligible. Basically, as income goes up more of SS is taxed. The effective tax rate can be horrifying if you are stuck in the wrong band.
[/quote]

Hello again Tom. My 403B can be Roth'ed, and it's possible that my wife's can too.   I should look into that.  I should add that at age 48 my wife and I will likely both receive large pensions, which will push our income up that much higher, making the issue with SS even more pronounced. 

My plan was to do it all pretax this year, and then Roth a bunch of it next year, but maybe I should fill out some paperwork sooner to make that happen. 

Thanks again. 

[Sibley]

I'm buying a house! yay! I don't have a couch. The couch is my roommate's. Won't be living with her anymore. Now I need to buy a couch. I don't want the spend the money on a really high quality couch, but also don't want to replace couches every year or three. And lack of time is a problem right now, too much going on.

On the other hand, my mom is fundamentally horrified that I'm going to have 3 empty rooms in my new house (they'll move in with me at some point). I'm perfectly ok with it. Easier to clean.

[kelvin]

Ask the mom to bring a couch. I'm sure she has one?

I bought one of those folding recliner things that was labelled "Zero-Gravity". Now I can read novels like an astronaut!

[dreams_and_discoveries]

In the UK, it's the end of the tax year.

I did provisional numbers and my savings rate is looking like 80.004% - I'm trying to spend nothing until new tax year to keep the rate over 80% true and proper, rather than rely on rounding.

[SilveradoBojangles]

I need some gear tape to repair a down jacket that got a hole in it, but it's an add on item on amazon and we can't think of anything else to buy.

[LennStar]

I need some gear tape to repair a down jacket that got a hole in it, but it's an add on item on amazon and we can't think of anything else to buy.

Buy a book. Read it. Donate it to a library. Or make a tiny free library yourself ;)

[Fomerly known as something]

Greensheep: Yeah, Vanguard doesn't like it when Mint refreshes so it sends me a security code to my phone and blocks Mint...I have removed the account from Mint for now since it's empty (got ahead of myself opening that one) but I'm not sure what I'll do once I start using that account.

merula: Good idea, thanks! I'll give it a try. I've just been manually adjusting it by checking the 'reimbursable' check box on each transaction individually but it would be nice if it automatically recognized it.

I can't figure out how to link my HSA to Personal Capital so I just manually update it.  Currently the account is relatively small so I just do so once a quarter, as it gets bigger I might adjust the manual update to once a month.

[Fomerly known as something]

My "problem" if you want to call it that is conjuring up a fake smile and pretending I'm excited about the annual bonus. And to put this into context, my bonus these days amounts to approximately an additional paycheck, so it's nothing that changes my life ... or even my weekend.

Had a very similar experience when the head of our department was talking about all the opportunities for "advancement" in the company.

Wow--you mean I could get even more money, and all I have to do is take on more responsibility, travel more, and spend less time with my family?  Sign me up! ::sarcasm::

For me, it's not caring about promotion, and not thinking about what job I'm going to take for my "retirement job"

[Fomerly known as something]

This morning, Personal Capital decided that it did not have a complete picture of my finances.  It noticed I did not have a mortgage linked.  Not wanting the system to be upset, I manually entered a mortgage of $0. 

[lchu]

Met with a financial rep to get information about a 403b plan at work and glitched his company's online retirement calculator by having a savings rate of 40% of my income.

Poor guy got so flustered he couldn't even finish the rest of the presentation.

[merula]

Adding to the Personal Capital MPPs, for MONTHS I've been getting a message saying I have too much cash and I should invest it in their recommendations. My cash is checking, emergency fund and a house projects fund.

Only now that I'm actually doing those house projects, I'm getting a messages that say "Do you have enough cash on hand? It looks like you have less than two months of expenses." and "Are you saving enough? A good goal is to save 20% of your income and pay down debts like student loans".

Doesn't give me a lot of faith in their financial advice.

[Cherry Lane]

Yesterday I stopped at Aldi on my way home from work.  There was a manager's special on family-pack boneless chicken breasts: $5 off per package; regular price an already excellent $1.69/lb.  So I got 4.8 lbs of chicken for $3!

The MPP?  Between my work stuff and other needed groceries, I only had room in my bike bag to carry one package.

[LennStar]

Yesterday I stopped at Aldi on my way home from work.  There was a manager's special on family-pack boneless chicken breasts: $5 off per package; regular price an already excellent $1.69/lb.  So I got 4.8 lbs of chicken for $3!

The MPP?  Between my work stuff and other needed groceries, I only had room in my bike bag to carry one package.

My town has since about a year a store that mostly sells "leftovers". That means for example a big chain ordered 10t Salami.
In one delivery the store found an error and send back all (they don't sort in this case, take all or nothing). So now the producer got 100kg back and found it 90kg still perfect. But he has nobody to sell to.

So the "leftover" store takes that stuff and sells it for cheap. Or cancelled orders the producer already payed up in the chain. Or things close to best by date. Whatever.

2 days ago I was there again (other side of town, so I don't go there every week since it woudl be a trip just for that you never know what you can find).
Again they had the 4kg Salami bombs that are for hotels I guess. But not the Salami I already took there 4 times (600g). And no sausages that were there for month, too. No meat that I liked :(
But I got 700g cheap cheese, 3 huge apples, 300g dirt cheap chocolade (still from christmas) and 2x500g sliced grainy bread for less then half that it costs in the normal stores, still fresh with date 24th.

The MPP? The day before I already bought a normal loaf. So I now have 2 halves in the freezer. That "unneccessary" freezing probably cost me 10cents to save the 1€ for the bread. Dang!

[damnedbee]

Yesterday I was at a mandatory HR training that not only reinforced why I'm pursuing FIRE (e.g., not having to go to mandatory HR trainings) but possibly qualifies as a Mustachian problem. The subject of retirement came up, and someone cracked a joke that "we'll all be working into our 70s and 80s, anyway."

The whole room laughed and nodded, and I just sat there. I was smiling inwardly, but not for the same reason.

[shelivesthedream]

I don't want to dampen the amusing tone of this thread, but I do worry from time to time about essential services being staffed by elderly people who can't manage any more but are still working because they can't afford to retire.

[Babybalrog]

I don't want to dampen the amusing tone of this thread, but I do worry from time to time about essential services being staffed by elderly people who can't manage any more but are still working because they can't afford to retire.

As a government employee I'll chime in. This is multifaceted. Some are defiantly staying on longer. New highers are staying on shorter (or so I'm told, our internal studies don't show that). For my employer for example out average employee age has grown from 39 to 44 over the last 10-15 years according to HR. In my branch, we have 1-2 people qualified for SS but staying on who view it better than being bored in retirement. And those two are both highly skilled and would be a big lose if they left. In fact one of positions requires a mixed skill set which we've lost so much of over the last few years, that when the current guy retires I don't know who will replace him.

On the flip side. My research into pensions revealed that one of the "goals" if you want to cal it that, of the pension is to encourage the orderly force out of eligible employees. Since Pension benefits tend to accelerate into retirement (more bang for buck per year of service), then decelerate hard at a point (usually 30 years), that is usually a transition point for people leaving. It is common in my profession (and just happened to a friend of mine) that they work for 30, then retire, draw their pension, and get a job at a private consulting firm, taking our overflow contracts, doing the same work. Thus getting two paychecks.

Both my current and former government job, the number of time i'd hear something like "One third of our employees are eligible to retire in 5 years" i get worried, then realize I'm nearly running the department and probably will be by age 40 if this continues.

[fuzzy math]

I optimize my credit card purchases for cash back. Waited to apply until the last day of the big Starwood bonus and Amex said they'd "have to get back to me". I still haven't heard back 3 weeks later.
Oops. I guess I have too many CCs considering I am an authorized user on a few of my DH's accounts. I think I screwed myself out of the big bonus. UGH

[Taran Wanderer]

I was particularly ornery yesterday at work.

Somehow one conversation turned to retirement, and a colleague talked about how many people aim to buy their last nice car/house/whatever before they retire.  I remarked that if I worked to a normal retirement age, I'd be buying a new Rolls Royce every year in retirement.

I was catching up with an old friend / new colleague in another conversation, and I mentioned that I didn't know how much longer I would be working and that I intended to retire early.  I got this sort of dumbfounded look in response.

My MPP is that I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.

[TomTX]

I optimize my credit card purchases for cash back. Waited to apply until the last day of the big Starwood bonus and Amex said they'd "have to get back to me". I still haven't heard back 3 weeks later.
Oops. I guess I have too many CCs considering I am an authorized user on a few of my DH's accounts. I think I screwed myself out of the big bonus. UGH

Call Amex, tell them which ones are AU that you're not responsible for. If you can, get yourself removed as an AU first.

It takes time to clear through the credit reports though, unless you push it with disputes.

[Jakejake]

Yesterday I stopped at Aldi on my way home from work.  There was a manager's special on family-pack boneless chicken breasts: $5 off per package; regular price an already excellent $1.69/lb.  So I got 4.8 lbs of chicken for $3!

The MPP?  Between my work stuff and other needed groceries, I only had room in my bike bag to carry one package.

That's exactly the sort of problem I always have. My freezer is packed with managers specials on coffee and cheese. I have to remind myself if I go to the store: no matter how good the deal is, do NOT buy more cheese. Today I saw buffalo mozarella for $2/lb, and I made myself walk away, and I am still sad. And whole coffee beans were $1.89 for a 12 Oz bag. I did grab some of those - but I was on a bike.

[GreenSheep]

My net worth is about to hit a major milestone, but next week I'm buying my dream/forever/post-FIRE house with cash, and I don't count my residence toward my net worth. It'll take me a while to build the 'stache back up... but it's all part of my path to FIRE.

[Bateaux]

Wrote a huge check for my son to attend trade school.  It was thousands less than they asked for.  You see most students apply for financial aid.   Some actually are lucky enough to get grants.  Those that don't get loans.  The way they structure their plan the loan is built in at 6% interest with monthly payments.  I asked what the cost is without a loan.  It took talking to several people to find out.  Finally was smugly told that the two year program had to be paid in full before enrollment could procede or agree to montly payments. So, I asked if they could take a personal check.  They said yes, it was nearly $30,000 and they asked when the funds could be drawn.  I replied immediately.  The accountants eyes widened.  I'm guessing it isn't often some pays cash for education.

[Goldielocks]

Wrote a huge check for my son to attend trade school.  It was thousands less than they asked for.  You see most students apply for financial aid.   Some actually are lucky enough to get grants.  Those that don't get loans.  The way they structure their plan the loan is built in at 6% interest with monthly payments.  I asked what the cost is without a loan.  It took talking to several people to find out.  Finally was smugly told that the two year program had to be paid in full before enrollment could procede or agree to montly payments. So, I asked if they could take a personal check.  They said yes, it was nearly $30,000 and they asked when the funds could be drawn.  I replied immediately.  The accountants eyes widened.  I'm guessing it isn't often some pays cash for education.

$30k?  Crap!  what trade?   

[Bateaux]

Chemical Process Technology

[radram]

Wrote a huge check for my son to attend trade school.  It was thousands less than they asked for.  You see most students apply for financial aid.   Some actually are lucky enough to get grants.  Those that don't get loans.  The way they structure their plan the loan is built in at 6% interest with monthly payments.  I asked what the cost is without a loan.  It took talking to several people to find out.  Finally was smugly told that the two year program had to be paid in full before enrollment could procede or agree to montly payments. So, I asked if they could take a personal check.  They said yes, it was nearly $30,000 and they asked when the funds could be drawn.  I replied immediately.  The accountants eyes widened.  I'm guessing it isn't often some pays cash for education.

What if someone drops out after just a few months? Do they owe the full amount regardless? Would you be refunded the unused portion?
Most colleges you would pay for only the semester they were enrolled.

[kelvin]

radram, trade school is generally 1. much shorter, often 6-10 weeks and 2. much more expensive than traditional education.

[radram]

radram, trade school is generally 1. much shorter, often 6-10 weeks and 2. much more expensive than traditional education.

Thank you for the information, but....... $30,000 for 10 weeks? Are you effing kidding me? That would make it more expensive than any Ivy League education on a per day basis.

Tuition only at UW-Madison runs $44,000 for 4 years. Trade school does not sound like a better deal at those prices.

[aetherie]

OP said it was a 2 year program.

[Linea_Norway]

Problem with my DH yesterday. When we came home from a camping trip with a pile of laundry on Monday evening, I told him to not put any washed laundry thoughtlessly in the tumble dry, because I could hang it out. The weather is beautifull, warm wind blowing for free.
I managed to wash two machines full and told him after dinner that I would do hang it up. It the mean time the new laundry is in the machine. My DH is in the bathroom when the machine is finished. He uses long time before the doir is unlocked. At that time the laundry is in the tumble dry and my DH walks out to hang the woolen shirts over chairs. I was pretty pissed off that he didn't understand that I wanted to hang it out. I took it out of the machine and hungbit up. The drawer was already filled with water.

[DTaggart]

I estimate I'm about 1 year from FIRE, and have thus been trying to not buy any new work clothes since they will be burned promptly at the end of my last day of work. I'm pretty sure the shoes will survive (not much wear as I sit on my ass all day), and I have a couple unused pairs of black socks remaining from the last package I bought which can replace the ones that seem to be wearing thin. But last night when I got home and changed, I found several holes forming in the sleeve of the polo shirt I'd been wearing. I'd just sew it back up, but the fabric has worn terribly thin. You guys, I don't think it's going to make it... I'm going to have to go down to the thrift store and shell out another $3-$5 :'(

[merula]

Problem with my DH yesterday. When we came home from a camping trip with a pile of laundry on Monday evening, I told him to not put any washed laundry thoughtlessly in the tumble dry, because I could hang it out. The weather is beautifull, warm wind blowing for free.
I managed to wash two machines full and told him after dinner that I would do hang it up. It the mean time the new laundry is in the machine. My DH is in the bathroom when the machine is finished. He uses long time before the doir is unlocked. At that time the laundry is in the tumble dry and my DH walks out to hang the woolen shirts over chairs. I was pretty pissed off that he didn't understand that I wanted to hang it out. I took it out of the machine and hungbit up. The drawer was already filled with water.

My MPP: In reading this, I couldn't understand why you were sharing your husband's bathroom habits until I realized that the washer/dryer was in the bathroom.

[BTDretire]

I estimate I'm about 1 year from FIRE, and have thus been trying to not buy any new work clothes since they will be burned promptly at the end of my last day of work. I'm pretty sure the shoes will survive (not much wear as I sit on my ass all day), and I have a couple unused pairs of black socks remaining from the last package I bought which can replace the ones that seem to be wearing thin. But last night when I got home and changed, I found several holes forming in the sleeve of the polo shirt I'd been wearing. I'd just sew it back up, but the fabric has worn terribly thin. You guys, I don't think it's going to make it... I'm going to have to go down to the thrift store and shell out another $3-$5 :'(

Any chance you can cover it with MMM logo patch?    :-)

[4alpacas]

I estimate I'm about 1 year from FIRE, and have thus been trying to not buy any new work clothes since they will be burned promptly at the end of my last day of work. I'm pretty sure the shoes will survive (not much wear as I sit on my ass all day), and I have a couple unused pairs of black socks remaining from the last package I bought which can replace the ones that seem to be wearing thin. But last night when I got home and changed, I found several holes forming in the sleeve of the polo shirt I'd been wearing. I'd just sew it back up, but the fabric has worn terribly thin. You guys, I don't think it's going to make it... I'm going to have to go down to the thrift store and shell out another $3-$5 :'(

Any chance you can cover it with MMM logo patch?    :-)

Or maybe your local Buy Nothing Group?

[secondcor521]

I estimate I'm about 1 year from FIRE, and have thus been trying to not buy any new work clothes since they will be burned promptly at the end of my last day of work. I'm pretty sure the shoes will survive (not much wear as I sit on my ass all day), and I have a couple unused pairs of black socks remaining from the last package I bought which can replace the ones that seem to be wearing thin. But last night when I got home and changed, I found several holes forming in the sleeve of the polo shirt I'd been wearing. I'd just sew it back up, but the fabric has worn terribly thin. You guys, I don't think it's going to make it... I'm going to have to go down to the thrift store and shell out another $3-$5 :'(

Any chance you can cover it with MMM logo patch?    :-)

Or maybe your local Buy Nothing Group?

Hem them to short sleeves as a way to stick it to the Man?

[DTaggart]

Good news you guys! I dug through my closet when I got home today, and found a few old shirts I never wear that will probably be workplace acceptable once I wash them (they're a little dusty). Whew! Dodged a bullet there.

I am loving all of your creative suggestions though :)

Any chance you can cover it with MMM logo patch?    :-)

Unfortunately the disintegrating section is along the seam on the underside of the sleeve, so that would be really awkward. But now I want an MMM patch anyway, I can sew it on the chest!! Where do I get one? I just have to remember to remove it before I burn the shirt :)

Or maybe your local Buy Nothing Group?

Sadly, my Buy Nothing Group seems to consist entirely of young mothers trading baby items, so is of zero use to me. I could try hitting up Freecycle (which seems to be more diverse) if my closet finds don't work out.

Hem them to short sleeves as a way to stick it to the Man?

I thought about that! But I have gross flabby old lady arms (and farmers tan to boot) so I'd be really self-conscious :(

[LennStar]

Any chance you can cover it with MMM logo patch?    :-)

Unfortunately the disintegrating section is along the seam on the underside of the sleeve, so that would be really awkward. But now I want an MMM patch anyway, I can sew it on the chest!! Where do I get one? I just have to remember to remove it before I burn the shirt :)

Just sew it in as big MMM. With gold thread of course.

[Goldielocks]

I estimate I'm about 1 year from FIRE, and have thus been trying to not buy any new work clothes since they will be burned promptly at the end of my last day of work. I'm pretty sure the shoes will survive (not much wear as I sit on my ass all day), and I have a couple unused pairs of black socks remaining from the last package I bought which can replace the ones that seem to be wearing thin. But last night when I got home and changed, I found several holes forming in the sleeve of the polo shirt I'd been wearing. I'd just sew it back up, but the fabric has worn terribly thin. You guys, I don't think it's going to make it... I'm going to have to go down to the thrift store and shell out another $3-$5 :'(

Any chance you can cover it with MMM logo patch?    :-)

Or maybe your local Buy Nothing Group?

Convert it to sleeveless!  You may be FIRE'd early than you thought, as a bonus.

[dvdvrhs]

This is an old thread, but I have finally have one.

I need a new inner tube for my jogging stroller and its an Amazon Add on Item. I cannot think of anything else I want to buy to get to $25...

[afuera]

My MPP:
I recently discovered I can do a mega-backdoor roth thingy within my 401K at work.  Since I just started contributing after-tax this month, I wanted to bump up my contribution percentage to ~60% in order to hit the 54K limit for the year.  Only problem is my company limits the max contribution percentage to 40% in order to avoid the "Highly Compensated Employee" headache.

I can't even commiserate with anyone over it since everyone I know IRL just looks at me like I'm crazy for trying to contribute so much. *pout*

[prognastat]

My MPP:
I recently discovered I can do a mega-backdoor roth thingy within my 401K at work.  Since I just started contributing after-tax this month, I wanted to bump up my contribution percentage to ~60% in order to hit the 54K limit for the year.  Only problem is my company limits the max contribution percentage to 40% in order to avoid the "Highly Compensated Employee" headache.

I can't even commiserate with anyone over it since everyone I know IRL just looks at me like I'm crazy for trying to contribute so much. *pout*

I wish my company allowed up to 40%. Unfortunately, after tax contributions are limited to 10% for me. It's better than nothing though since many don't even have the option to at all.

[merula]

My MPP:
I recently discovered I can do a mega-backdoor roth thingy within my 401K at work.  Since I just started contributing after-tax this month, I wanted to bump up my contribution percentage to ~60% in order to hit the 54K limit for the year.  Only problem is my company limits the max contribution percentage to 40% in order to avoid the "Highly Compensated Employee" headache.

I can't even commiserate with anyone over it since everyone I know IRL just looks at me like I'm crazy for trying to contribute so much. *pout*

You think that's bad? My employer limits the total of before- and after-tax contributions to $18,000.

I wish my company allowed up to 40%. Unfortunately, after tax contributions are limited to 10% for me. It's better than nothing though since many don't even have the option to at all.

[marty998]

At the end of my holiday around Southern Africa I was sitting in Johannesburg airport with USD$120 and a receipt for a R500 jacket in my wallet.

The receipt had VAT R61.28 stamped on it and I figured I'll get the refund on that and go buy myself a semi-decent dinner with the proceeds.

20 minutes waiting in line at the counter and I'm beginning to wonder whether this is worth it. Never mind, push on I'm hungry and need the cash.

Man hands me back a summary page with R51.28 written on it. Ok, they've taken a R10 fee, still got enough. After more photocopying of passports and what not he comes back around and hands me a cheque.

I asked him what am I supposed to do with that? He says "go downstairs to the currency exchange bureau. They'll cash it for you."

I went down to said bureau. Waited in line for another 20 minutes. Lovely young woman served me. I said.. ."look, I know it's not much, but I can I cash this?"

She's ok with it, takes the check and comes back with a summary sheet and cash R26.28.

I said what? She says "there's a fee".

Ahh... we all have to get paid somehow I guess. Fees clipped at every turn.

With my $2 equivalent of cash I start hunting around for a coffee shop. I then thought the ice cream parlour would be my saviour. The cheapest scoop was a small vanilla cone costing.... R30!

Gave up, came to my senses and remembered I had an Airline Lounge Pass! I had scored a platinum access pass through my credit card, and was carrying it around for the 3 weeks of camping.
.
.
.
The bastards wouldn't let me in. Said because I only had an economy ticket I had to go to the general airport lounge for the plebs.

Better than nothing, hot food, nice toilet, free booze, wifi and snacks.

Boarded somewhat happy, and donated the R26.28 to charity.

[TartanTallulah]

Thoughtful colleague: "I've been sent a discount voucher for a spa day for up to four people. It's only £150 per person and it includes afternoon tea, two pampering treatments, and being able to spend the whole day there just relaxing. You and I could go, and pay for (two female employees who have gone beyond the call of duty) to come with us as a treat, and leave the boys to manage by themselves for the day."

Me: Splutter. Cough. Choke. "How about we just give (the two female employees who have gone beyond the call of duty) £150 each as a cash bonus that they can spend as they please or put towards their retirement fund?"

(Bless her, we've worked together for a very long time and my colleague still hasn't got her head round the fact that "being pampered" is my idea of torture, and keeps offering recommendations for beauticians and cosmetic ranges and spa retreats. I'm sure she's only trying to help.)

[BTDretire]

New MPP.   I have lost 15 lbs this year and my clothes are now ill fitting, but I am still 10 lbs from my goal weight, so I cannot get anything that fits yet.  So just as I am unfortunately back in the dating pool, I look a bit frumpy.  Maybe I just need to convince myself that chicks dig saggy buttt jeans.

 You have it backwards, you just need to convince the chicks they dig saggy buttt jeans.

[LennStar]

New MPP.   I have lost 15 lbs this year and my clothes are now ill fitting, but I am still 10 lbs from my goal weight, so I cannot get anything that fits yet.  So just as I am unfortunately back in the dating pool, I look a bit frumpy.  Maybe I just need to convince myself that chicks dig saggy buttt jeans.

 You have it backwards, you just need to convince the chicks they dig saggy buttt jeans.

Buttt if they don't then just convince them that they will like the future lean, handsome, nice, rich guy you will be in short time and that they should get you while the price is still vastly undervaluated.

[Goldielocks]

Thoughtful colleague: "I've been sent a discount voucher for a spa day for up to four people. It's only £150 per person and it includes afternoon tea, two pampering treatments, and being able to spend the whole day there just relaxing. You and I could go, and pay for (two female employees who have gone beyond the call of duty) to come with us as a treat, and leave the boys to manage by themselves for the day."

Me: Splutter. Cough. Choke. "How about we just give (the two female employees who have gone beyond the call of duty) £150 each as a cash bonus that they can spend as they please or put towards their retirement fund?"

(Bless her, we've worked together for a very long time and my colleague still hasn't got her head round the fact that "being pampered" is my idea of torture, and keeps offering recommendations for beauticians and cosmetic ranges and spa retreats. I'm sure she's only trying to help.)

The fun part is that I now have a few male colleagues suggest spa treatment / massage / manicure day as a group bonding activity.   (cough sputter.  couldn't we rent kayaks instead?  Is this worse than the ubiquitous golf?)