Author Topic: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)  (Read 3136253 times)

Taran Wanderer

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6900 on: November 11, 2019, 07:23:43 PM »

Alternatepriorities

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6901 on: November 18, 2019, 07:40:22 PM »
We have an annual travel budget because it's something we actually do need to rein in a bit, since the possibilities with travel are really endless and we have good imaginations. But for individual trips, no - if one trip is pricier than expected, we just go somewhere cheaper for any remaining trips that year.

This seems like a good idea... I'm not sure how to sell it though.

Especially since we've definitely blown any reasonable travel budget this year, but I was running some numbers today and realized that using MAAP (Mustachian Accepted Accounting Practices - ie counting debt/principle payment as savings) we will very likely save more than our AGI this year...

sui generis

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6902 on: November 18, 2019, 09:29:58 PM »
My problem is a combo MPP+getting older problem.  I forgot to set an alarm to check in for my Southwest flight, but of course I would never pay the "early bird check in" fee of $15 to get checked in automatically and get a good boarding position. So I just remembered to check in for a flight early tomorrow...I was about 9.5 hours late and...let's just say that probably the only seat left by the time I board will be in the loo.

Hirondelle

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6903 on: November 18, 2019, 11:10:40 PM »
My problem is a combo MPP+getting older problem.  I forgot to set an alarm to check in for my Southwest flight, but of course I would never pay the "early bird check in" fee of $15 to get checked in automatically and get a good boarding position. So I just remembered to check in for a flight early tomorrow...I was about 9.5 hours late and...let's just say that probably the only seat left by the time I board will be in the loo.

Is it that uncommon to check in on the spot nowadays? I usually do my check ins at the airport and never end up at the loo :)

chouchouu

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6904 on: November 18, 2019, 11:20:35 PM »
Paid my electricity bill for the quarter, which was $168, about average for me. After I paid I noticed that there was a little cr next to the amount. My account was actually in credit for 168 as they had worked out I had been over charged so credited my account. There is also a little graphic that comes with each bill showing that my household consumption is a third of a single occupant household, despite being me and the two kids.

So now my electricity account is 336 in credit because they totally over estimated my consumption.

LennStar

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6905 on: November 19, 2019, 05:04:33 AM »
Paid my electricity bill for the quarter, which was $168, about average for me. After I paid I noticed that there was a little cr next to the amount. My account was actually in credit for 168 as they had worked out I had been over charged so credited my account. There is also a little graphic that comes with each bill showing that my household consumption is a third of a single occupant household, despite being me and the two kids.

So now my electricity account is 336 in credit because they totally over estimated my consumption.
How about telling them to change it? You are losing money here! Especially if the company gets bancrupt.
Also didn't you tell them your consumption when you made the contract? That is standard here in Germany, but that may be a socialist thing, and the company deciding alone how much you use is the more efficient Free Market? (Yeah, I done it again! | )

Imma

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6906 on: November 19, 2019, 07:06:41 AM »
Paid my electricity bill for the quarter, which was $168, about average for me. After I paid I noticed that there was a little cr next to the amount. My account was actually in credit for 168 as they had worked out I had been over charged so credited my account. There is also a little graphic that comes with each bill showing that my household consumption is a third of a single occupant household, despite being me and the two kids.

So now my electricity account is 336 in credit because they totally over estimated my consumption.
How about telling them to change it? You are losing money here! Especially if the company gets bancrupt.
Also didn't you tell them your consumption when you made the contract? That is standard here in Germany, but that may be a socialist thing, and the company deciding alone how much you use is the more efficient Free Market? (Yeah, I done it again! | )

For some reason in NL energy companies always overestimate your consumption. They can check your past usage and using that information and their "experience" they always set the monthly amount a bit too high. Sometimes it works to call them to lower the monthly payment but it's always a little bit too high. I get why the company does that - it's annoying for us to basically extend a free loan to an energy company, but if the company had to wait to receive the full payment for all the people who bought some extra devices and toys the past year and therefore used a bit more energy than they thought they would, they would certainly go bankrupt. For a lot of people it's not easy to come up with €200 suddenly. We mustachians tend to forget that.

cupcakery

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6907 on: November 19, 2019, 07:09:56 AM »
1.  When your starter home is so small that people think you're poor and need help.  Meanwhile you have empty drawers and cabinets because you don't own enough stuff to fill them.

2.  When you go to work and find out that you are wearing the same sweater as your coworker.  They are identical, but she says hers is better because she bought it for full price at Macy's and your sweater isn't as nice because you paid $20 at Marshalls.  Again...identical.

3.  When it is Christmas and your kids can't think of anything to add to their Christmas lists, but you really want to give them a present, so you have to be creative and give them an experience.  Very stressful.

4.  When everyone at work goes to Disney every year and feels bad for you because you didn't go and then talks about all of their debt payments.  Meanwhile you cash flowed a wonderful vacation that cost significantly less and your kids can't stop talking about how much they enjoyed it.

5.  When people feel bad for you because you don't eat out daily, but your homecooked meals are less expensive and much tastier than restaurant food.  Bonus points for having your husband and kids grateful for all of the wonderful meals.  Extra bonus points when the kids are on vacation with the grandparents and they text you and beg you to make something special when they get home, because they feel sick from eating out.

Imma

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6908 on: November 19, 2019, 07:22:08 AM »
1.  When your starter home is so small that people think you're poor and need help.  Meanwhile you have empty drawers and cabinets because you don't own enough stuff to fill them.



This can actually be a great advantage for a mustachian. We hardly ever buy any furniture or other big ticket items, because when family and friends replace their stuff after less than 5 years of very light use, poor parttime Imma and her minimum wage job guy with the very ordinary home are the first ones they call to pick it up.

Actually we have a 50% savings rate, a 5-figure mortgage and a fancy coffeemachine that we got for free because someone before us had brewed coffee a few times then decided it was too big. While we don't tell most people exact numbers, we are open to our friends and relatives that we're not poor but frugal. I don't think they completely believe that but I want to make sure they know we don't need charity. We'll happily pick up stuff that you were going to take to landfill and bring some homebaked goodies as a thank you, but anything we need we could afford to buy new if we wanted to.

raincoast

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6909 on: November 19, 2019, 07:39:59 AM »

3.  When it is Christmas and your kids can't think of anything to add to their Christmas lists, but you really want to give them a present, so you have to be creative and give them an experience.  Very stressful.


This is me, but in reverse. Even though I'm almost thirty my mother still asks me for my birthday and Christmas lists each year, and I can't usually come up with as many ideas as she wants because I have everything I want or need. So this year I asked her for rainproof bike pants (winters here are a never-ending rainstorm).

Kazyan

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6910 on: November 19, 2019, 07:41:09 AM »
The least amount of house available on the market around here was still a lot more house than I needed, but I bought it because the numbers worked out in my favor anyway. So I tried to get a roommate, but the roommate sucked/wouldn't pay rent and I like my privacy. So I tried to list a room on Stache as storage space, but I'm in an LCOL large town and no one has heard of Stache. So I still have more house than I know what to do with.

I'll probably get another roommate after a few weeks of "🦀🦀🦀 BAD ROOMMATE IS GONE 🦀🦀🦀" celebration.

Sugaree

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6911 on: November 19, 2019, 08:04:17 AM »

3.  When it is Christmas and your kids can't think of anything to add to their Christmas lists, but you really want to give them a present, so you have to be creative and give them an experience.  Very stressful.


This is me, but in reverse. Even though I'm almost thirty my mother still asks me for my birthday and Christmas lists each year, and I can't usually come up with as many ideas as she wants because I have everything I want or need. So this year I asked her for rainproof bike pants (winters here are a never-ending rainstorm).


I'm the same way.  I really want a robot vacuum and smart blinds for one of my windows, but I feel like both items are too expensive to ask for.  So I wind up asking for gift cards instead.  I'm 99% sure that my parents are actually giving us a TV this year because they bought my brother one as an "early xmas present" when his went out a couple of weeks ago.  Dad was asking if we needed a new TV.  I mean, I have a 10+ year old TV that the color has been going out on for two years, but I wasn't planning on replacing it until it gave up the ghost.


I was very proud of my kiddo this year.  When he writes his letter to Santa he gets a certain number of slots to fill.  This year it was four.  He could only come up with four things that he actually wanted and one of those was already designated as coming from mom and dad (we're taking a trip starting on the 19th and I want to give this to him early to occupy him during a 21  hour train ride).  So he couldn't come up with anything else and asked Santa to surprise him. 


sui generis

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6912 on: November 19, 2019, 08:12:20 AM »
My problem is a combo MPP+getting older problem.  I forgot to set an alarm to check in for my Southwest flight, but of course I would never pay the "early bird check in" fee of $15 to get checked in automatically and get a good boarding position. So I just remembered to check in for a flight early tomorrow...I was about 9.5 hours late and...let's just say that probably the only seat left by the time I board will be in the loo.

Is it that uncommon to check in on the spot nowadays? I usually do my check ins at the airport and never end up at the loo :)

For any other airline, I don't bother trying to be on time to check in, but for Southwest? Sometimes if I'm like 2 minutes past the 24 hr mark I get like B32.

In the case of today's flight I would have liked better seating because I'm not checking baggage and have no connecting flight, so I'd have liked to have been able to jump out and run for the earliest possible train. Probably will miss at least one this time.

solon

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6913 on: November 19, 2019, 08:47:28 AM »
The least amount of house available on the market around here was still a lot more house than I needed, but I bought it because the numbers worked out in my favor anyway. So I tried to get a roommate, but the roommate sucked/wouldn't pay rent and I like my privacy. So I tried to list a room on Stache as storage space, but I'm in an LCOL large town and no one has heard of Stache. So I still have more house than I know what to do with.

I'll probably get another roommate after a few weeks of "🦀🦀🦀 BAD ROOMMATE IS GONE 🦀🦀🦀" celebration.

I never heard of stache before (www.stache.com), but I checked it out just now. It's a very interesting idea, but nobody in my area is on it. Then I checked in Denver, the nearest large metro area to me, and there is only one person on it.

It looks like a great idea, they just need to market it a little better.

Alfred J Quack

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6914 on: November 19, 2019, 09:47:03 AM »
We had an expensive few days. Our son needed a new bicycle because the current one was too small, 230 euros. So I thought mine could use replacing as well because it pedals like a tank and needs a lot of effort to move so I got myself a sports-type bike (yes, with a kiddy seat on the back) - 400 euro's but the older bike was 300 in trade-in (actually a pretty reasonable price considering I also bargained some free options). Then we went for DW's bike because it needed severe maintenance (brakes, gears and chain were on their final legs), which totalled at 360 minus 30 for the trade in (yeah, scrap metal).

So I now have a easy-rider sports type
DS has a cargo-bike (with basket on the front)
DW has a mommy-bike with 2-pronged stand. You can kick it and it still won't go down :P

LennStar

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6915 on: November 19, 2019, 11:09:40 AM »
1.  When your starter home is so small that people think you're poor and need help.  Meanwhile you have empty drawers and cabinets because you don't own enough stuff to fill them.



This can actually be a great advantage for a mustachian. We hardly ever buy any furniture or other big ticket items, because when family and friends replace their stuff after less than 5 years of very light use, poor parttime Imma and her minimum wage job guy with the very ordinary home are the first ones they call to pick it up.

Actually we have a 50% savings rate, a 5-figure mortgage and a fancy coffeemachine that we got for free because someone before us had brewed coffee a few times then decided it was too big. While we don't tell most people exact numbers, we are open to our friends and relatives that we're not poor but frugal. I don't think they completely believe that but I want to make sure they know we don't need charity. We'll happily pick up stuff that you were going to take to landfill and bring some homebaked goodies as a thank you, but anything we need we could afford to buy new if we wanted to.

1,5 minimum wage and 50% savings rate? Whew, not bad!

I moved half a year ago and finally got around to get the 2 book shelves I needed more (since I can now luxuriously put only 1 book deep into them). One was a cheapo they used as display example. It had some "hits" but who cares? I either have my back to it or only look at the books in it, not if it has scatches on the (anyway hidden) side.

Too bad there are never book shelves out on the piles of old stuff. You could snatch tons of completely OK chairs, miles of living room monstrosities - but book shelves? No :(

But now I of course have the opposite problem. I guess I will be left with 2,5m of free shelf space. I get itchy just thinking about it. Is there a book addiction self help group?

MPP: You can't get the stuff you need for your addiction used, because too few people have that addiction and they all keep their hands on the stuff and never give it away!

Imma

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6916 on: November 19, 2019, 02:35:00 PM »
1.  When your starter home is so small that people think you're poor and need help.  Meanwhile you have empty drawers and cabinets because you don't own enough stuff to fill them.



This can actually be a great advantage for a mustachian. We hardly ever buy any furniture or other big ticket items, because when family and friends replace their stuff after less than 5 years of very light use, poor parttime Imma and her minimum wage job guy with the very ordinary home are the first ones they call to pick it up.

Actually we have a 50% savings rate, a 5-figure mortgage and a fancy coffeemachine that we got for free because someone before us had brewed coffee a few times then decided it was too big. While we don't tell most people exact numbers, we are open to our friends and relatives that we're not poor but frugal. I don't think they completely believe that but I want to make sure they know we don't need charity. We'll happily pick up stuff that you were going to take to landfill and bring some homebaked goodies as a thank you, but anything we need we could afford to buy new if we wanted to.

1,5 minimum wage and 50% savings rate? Whew, not bad!

I moved half a year ago and finally got around to get the 2 book shelves I needed more (since I can now luxuriously put only 1 book deep into them). One was a cheapo they used as display example. It had some "hits" but who cares? I either have my back to it or only look at the books in it, not if it has scatches on the (anyway hidden) side.

Too bad there are never book shelves out on the piles of old stuff. You could snatch tons of completely OK chairs, miles of living room monstrosities - but book shelves? No :(

But now I of course have the opposite problem. I guess I will be left with 2,5m of free shelf space. I get itchy just thinking about it. Is there a book addiction self help group?

MPP: You can't get the stuff you need for your addiction used, because too few people have that addiction and they all keep their hands on the stuff and never give it away!

No I don't make minimum wage, but as I work parttime in a very vague, not fancy sounding job people generally assume I don't make  much. And I kind of like having the type of job where the salary isn't immediately obvious to everyone. S/o makes about minimum wage but gets tips. All in all we make about 2 fulltime minimum wage incomes and spend about one minimum wage income every month - but together we work 1,4 FTE. I think that's a pretty good deal!

Our home had a beautiful built in bookcase and it turns out most neighbours have ripped it out :( they didn't know what to do with all those shelves. They didn't want to fill them with trinkets and vases. Ehm, what about books? "Who has that many?"

Well, me. I've added an extra shelf and the books are 2 deep and there are 2 more bookcases in my study. I'm no collector, most are cheap editions bought second hand,  but I do love reading.

chouchouu

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6917 on: November 19, 2019, 11:22:51 PM »
Paid my electricity bill for the quarter, which was $168, about average for me. After I paid I noticed that there was a little cr next to the amount. My account was actually in credit for 168 as they had worked out I had been over charged so credited my account. There is also a little graphic that comes with each bill showing that my household consumption is a third of a single occupant household, despite being me and the two kids.

So now my electricity account is 336 in credit because they totally over estimated my consumption.
How about telling them to change it? You are losing money here! Especially if the company gets bancrupt.
Also didn't you tell them your consumption when you made the contract? That is standard here in Germany, but that may be a socialist thing, and the company deciding alone how much you use is the more efficient Free Market? (Yeah, I done it again! | )

I've never heard of an energy company going bankrupt so I don't think there's much chance of that here. We moved to our place after being tenants of my mother which had shared electricity so I didn't know how much our personal usage is. Either way they charge in Australia by reading the metre and make an estimate on past usage if they can't access the metre for some reason. My husband moved out earlier this year so perhaps that's why their estimate was off but I'm still very surprised.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6918 on: November 20, 2019, 12:10:10 AM »
We are thinking of buying a new car, and maybe an EV. Therefore I took a look at the Tesla website to check some prices. When I had selected the choices and went to the page that showed the price. But it only showed the price per month. I really had to look several places before I found a tab saying "cash" that finally showed me the total price.
So for some reason, taking up a car loan was the default option. And the total price was hidden from first view. That was very unexpected from my point of view. Even the next car I checked, showed the same price per month first, so the system doesn't even remember I want to pay cash.

By the way, not sure we will end up with a Tesla, I was just checking prices and driving range. We might well end up with a Skoda EV.

dragoncar

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6919 on: November 20, 2019, 12:29:40 AM »
We are thinking of buying a new car, and maybe an EV. Therefore I took a look at the Tesla website to check some prices. When I had selected the choices and went to the page that showed the price. But it only showed the price per month. I really had to look several places before I found a tab saying "cash" that finally showed me the total price.
So for some reason, taking up a car loan was the default option. And the total price was hidden from first view. That was very unexpected from my point of view. Even the next car I checked, showed the same price per month first, so the system doesn't even remember I want to pay cash.

By the way, not sure we will end up with a Tesla, I was just checking prices and driving range. We might well end up with a Skoda EV.

I think part of this is that they just want to hide the total price to avoid sticker shock.  They seem to play a lot of games by including discounts like "savings from not buying gas" and whatever

UncleX

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6920 on: November 20, 2019, 02:12:52 AM »
I've never heard of an energy company going bankrupt so I don't think there's much chance of that here.

Welcome to the Netherlands:

Trianel - December 2012
Orro - December 2012
EnergieFlex - October 2018
Robin Energie - Februari 2019

These are not producers but resellers. Still, if they go bankrupt, your money is gone.
« Last Edit: November 20, 2019, 02:17:17 AM by UncleX »

LennStar

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6921 on: November 20, 2019, 02:55:36 AM »
I've never heard of an energy company going bankrupt so I don't think there's much chance of that here.

Welcome to the Netherlands:

Trianel - December 2012
Orro - December 2012
EnergieFlex - October 2018
Robin Energie - Februari 2019

These are not producers but resellers. Still, if they go bankrupt, your money is gone.

A few years ago there was one in Germany wher you had to pay upfront for a year and get a cheaper price for this.
They miscalculated and on top did not declare bancruptcy on time so people still payed them even though it was clear (for the company) they would lose the money.

dragoncar

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6922 on: November 20, 2019, 03:23:35 AM »
I've never heard of an energy company going bankrupt so I don't think there's much chance of that here.

Welcome to the Netherlands:

Trianel - December 2012
Orro - December 2012
EnergieFlex - October 2018
Robin Energie - Februari 2019

These are not producers but resellers. Still, if they go bankrupt, your money is gone.

My energy company (producer and distributor) just went through bankruptcy and my credit balance was fine (PG&E).  I was all ready to make a creditor claim but it was already preserved. 

Sugaree

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6923 on: November 20, 2019, 05:16:29 AM »
We are thinking of buying a new car, and maybe an EV. Therefore I took a look at the Tesla website to check some prices. When I had selected the choices and went to the page that showed the price. But it only showed the price per month. I really had to look several places before I found a tab saying "cash" that finally showed me the total price.
So for some reason, taking up a car loan was the default option. And the total price was hidden from first view. That was very unexpected from my point of view. Even the next car I checked, showed the same price per month first, so the system doesn't even remember I want to pay cash.


That seems to be becoming standard operating procedure.  The salesman wants to talk about the monthly payment, not the price.  Even if you want to pay cash, they want you to finance.  Some of the dealer/manufacturer incentives are only available with financing.  My in-laws ran into this with their last car.  The dealer basically told them that there was going to be a whole bunch of extra "Patriot Act" paperwork to fill out if they wanted to buy it outright.  That was dumb because they had a cashier's check, not a briefcase full of Benjamins.  They gave up and financed it, then paid it off the next week.  It turns out that might have screwed the dealership even more than just letting them pay cash since a lot of the incentives that the dealer gets, and passes on, for financing people are often voided out if the loan gets paid off within 3-6 months.

CarMax seems to be an exception, but that might have been that I let the salesman know up front that I was dealing with an insurance payout and wouldn't need financing. 

DadJokes

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6924 on: November 20, 2019, 06:08:22 AM »
I've never heard of an energy company going bankrupt so I don't think there's much chance of that here.

Wasn't Enron an energy company?

Roadrunner53

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6925 on: November 20, 2019, 06:15:26 AM »
I already know the answer that everyone will give me but that is not the answer I am looking for. The answer is "just don't get anything".

Okay, I have a lifetime friend that lives very far away from me. This person is past 65 but still working at a low paying job. I have never known a person who is dislikes so many things. I have sent frozen food items from reputable companies and the person kind of told me in a nice way they didn't really care for it. I have come out and asked what they might like. I have sent different types of prepaid gift cards for restaurants, grocery, retail. I get a thanks but nothing seems to thrill this person. The whole thing is that I would like to give something that gives some joy to this person. I know I could donate to a charity in their name but that doesn't give me joy.

Person likes outdoor planted flowers in the summer so at Christmas time can't do much about that.
Person has a dog and is devoted to it.
Person doesn't like anything for exotic food. Sticks to a very, limited mundane menu.
Person likes a certain brand of coffee. Have sent some of the favorite brand in the past.
Person has a few grandkids and loves them dearly.
Person does like flower arrangements.

I just recently bought an item that this person commented on and said they liked it and have been shopping for something like it. I offered to get it for the person. Finally after days of giving person time to think about it, that idea is now rejected.

Why is trying to GIVE something nice to a person I care for so hard?

Any suggestions? I am down to giving cash and that gives me no real joy.

DaMa

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6926 on: November 20, 2019, 06:23:41 AM »

That seems to be becoming standard operating procedure.  The salesman wants to talk about the monthly payment, not the price.  Even if you want to pay cash, they want you to finance.  Some of the dealer/manufacturer incentives are only available with financing.  My in-laws ran into this with their last car.  The dealer basically told them that there was going to be a whole bunch of extra "Patriot Act" paperwork to fill out if they wanted to buy it outright.  That was dumb because they had a cashier's check, not a briefcase full of Benjamins.  They gave up and financed it, then paid it off the next week.  It turns out that might have screwed the dealership even more than just letting them pay cash since a lot of the incentives that the dealer gets, and passes on, for financing people are often voided out if the loan gets paid off within 3-6 months.

CarMax seems to be an exception, but that might have been that I let the salesman know up front that I was dealing with an insurance payout and wouldn't need financing.

Same thing happened to me, back in 2011 when I bought my last new car.  The incentive required financing, but they were offering 0% financing.  So I financed half and paid the other half with my air miles credit card. 

Kris

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6927 on: November 20, 2019, 06:24:00 AM »
I already know the answer that everyone will give me but that is not the answer I am looking for. The answer is "just don't get anything".

Okay, I have a lifetime friend that lives very far away from me. This person is past 65 but still working at a low paying job. I have never known a person who is dislikes so many things. I have sent frozen food items from reputable companies and the person kind of told me in a nice way they didn't really care for it. I have come out and asked what they might like. I have sent different types of prepaid gift cards for restaurants, grocery, retail. I get a thanks but nothing seems to thrill this person. The whole thing is that I would like to give something that gives some joy to this person. I know I could donate to a charity in their name but that doesn't give me joy.

Person likes outdoor planted flowers in the summer so at Christmas time can't do much about that.
Person has a dog and is devoted to it.
Person doesn't like anything for exotic food. Sticks to a very, limited mundane menu.
Person likes a certain brand of coffee. Have sent some of the favorite brand in the past.
Person has a few grandkids and loves them dearly.
Person does like flower arrangements.

I just recently bought an item that this person commented on and said they liked it and have been shopping for something like it. I offered to get it for the person. Finally after days of giving person time to think about it, that idea is now rejected.

Why is trying to GIVE something nice to a person I care for so hard?

Any suggestions? I am down to giving cash and that gives me no real joy.

Sorry, but “nothing” is the only answer I have for you.

Because either this person really wants you to not buy them anything for whatever reason, but isn’t comfortable saying it (which I understand, I have a friend who gives me gifts all the time and I really dislike it)...

Or they are just generally ungrateful! In which case ceasing the gift-giving might teach them some retroactive gratitude.

SwordGuy

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6928 on: November 20, 2019, 06:29:41 AM »
I already know the answer that everyone will give me but that is not the answer I am looking for. The answer is "just don't get anything".


Well, you got that right.    But in deference to your wishes, I suggest paying for a photographer to take quality photos of the grandkids and framing some of them.

I once went out of my way to buy my dad a nice woodworking tool he didn't have.
Turned out he had bought one a month before and he informed me in no uncertain terms that the one he bought for himself was better.   The way he did it pissed me off so I took him with me to the store and we returned the tool.  I didn't buy him a replacement gift.   I think mom chewed him out later because he didn't pull that stunt again.

DaMa

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6929 on: November 20, 2019, 06:30:28 AM »
For @Roadrunner53
 
   Person has a few grandkids and loves them dearly.

What about a family pass to a zoo?  My MIL had one and took the grandchildren several times a year.
If it doesn't get used, it's basically a donation.

Roadrunner53

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6930 on: November 20, 2019, 06:38:33 AM »
Sword Guy, I like the picture idea, however, the kids mother takes them regularly to some studio and they have school pictures on top of the fact that Person is an avid picture taker. So many pictures it makes you head spin! To bad your father had a 'tude. Does ruin the gift giving thing.

DaMa, I will have to look into the zoo idea! I do think there is something in the area. Now you have got me thinking...movie tickets for Person and G-kids?

Linea_Norway

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6931 on: November 20, 2019, 06:41:58 AM »
I already know the answer that everyone will give me but that is not the answer I am looking for. The answer is "just don't get anything".

Okay, I have a lifetime friend that lives very far away from me. This person is past 65 but still working at a low paying job. I have never known a person who is dislikes so many things. I have sent frozen food items from reputable companies and the person kind of told me in a nice way they didn't really care for it. I have come out and asked what they might like. I have sent different types of prepaid gift cards for restaurants, grocery, retail. I get a thanks but nothing seems to thrill this person. The whole thing is that I would like to give something that gives some joy to this person. I know I could donate to a charity in their name but that doesn't give me joy.

Person likes outdoor planted flowers in the summer so at Christmas time can't do much about that.
Person has a dog and is devoted to it.
Person doesn't like anything for exotic food. Sticks to a very, limited mundane menu.
Person likes a certain brand of coffee. Have sent some of the favorite brand in the past.
Person has a few grandkids and loves them dearly.
Person does like flower arrangements.

I just recently bought an item that this person commented on and said they liked it and have been shopping for something like it. I offered to get it for the person. Finally after days of giving person time to think about it, that idea is now rejected.

Why is trying to GIVE something nice to a person I care for so hard?

Any suggestions? I am down to giving cash and that gives me no real joy.

A nice flower bouquet then.
I am also a person who has everything already. I appreciate getting nice flowers.

Dicey

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6932 on: November 20, 2019, 06:50:59 AM »
We have an annual travel budget because it's something we actually do need to rein in a bit, since the possibilities with travel are really endless and we have good imaginations. But for individual trips, no - if one trip is pricier than expected, we just go somewhere cheaper for any remaining trips that year.

This seems like a good idea... I'm not sure how to sell it though.

Especially since we've definitely blown any reasonable travel budget this year, but I was running some numbers today and realized that using MAAP (Mustachian Accepted Accounting Practices - ie counting debt/principle payment as savings) we will very likely save more than our AGI this year...
I see cake! Happy Birthday!!

TVRodriguez

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6933 on: November 20, 2019, 06:53:30 AM »
I already know the answer that everyone will give me but that is not the answer I am looking for. The answer is "just don't get anything".
....
Person likes outdoor planted flowers in the summer so at Christmas time can't do much about that.
Person has a dog and is devoted to it.
Person doesn't like anything for exotic food. Sticks to a very, limited mundane menu.
Person likes a certain brand of coffee. Have sent some of the favorite brand in the past.
Person has a few grandkids and loves them dearly.
Person does like flower arrangements.

I just recently bought an item that this person commented on and said they liked it and have been shopping for something like it. I offered to get it for the person. Finally after days of giving person time to think about it, that idea is now rejected.

Why is trying to GIVE something nice to a person I care for so hard?

Any suggestions? I am down to giving cash and that gives me no real joy.

You already know that this person likes coffee and flowers--why not send those?

Another alternative:  A handwritten card from you, saying how much this person means to you.  Perhaps sent at the same time as a flower arrangement is sent so that they arrive close together. 

I recently received such a card from an old friend, and I was incredibly touched, especially since it was not tied to any holiday or birthday at all.  Just came in the mail on a regular day, a card saying how something I told her years ago changed her perspective on life (!!!!) and affected her decisions from that day.  I hardly imagined that.  One never imagines one will actually be inspiring.  If you could give your friend something like this, it could bring both of you joy.

Dicey

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6934 on: November 20, 2019, 07:13:06 AM »
I already know the answer that everyone will give me but that is not the answer I am looking for. The answer is "just don't get anything".

Okay, I have a lifetime friend that lives very far away from me. This person is past 65 but still working at a low paying job. I have never known a person who is dislikes so many things. I have sent frozen food items from reputable companies and the person kind of told me in a nice way they didn't really care for it. I have come out and asked what they might like. I have sent different types of prepaid gift cards for restaurants, grocery, retail. I get a thanks but nothing seems to thrill this person. The whole thing is that I would like to give something that gives some joy to this person. I know I could donate to a charity in their name but that doesn't give me joy.

Person likes outdoor planted flowers in the summer so at Christmas time can't do much about that.
Person has a dog and is devoted to it.
Person doesn't like anything for exotic food. Sticks to a very, limited mundane menu.
Person likes a certain brand of coffee. Have sent some of the favorite brand in the past.
Person has a few grandkids and loves them dearly.
Person does like flower arrangements.

I just recently bought an item that this person commented on and said they liked it and have been shopping for something like it. I offered to get it for the person. Finally after days of giving person time to think about it, that idea is now rejected.

Why is trying to GIVE something nice to a person I care for so hard?

Any suggestions? I am down to giving cash and that gives me no real joy.

Sorry, but “nothing” is the only answer I have for you.

Because either this person really wants you to not buy them anything for whatever reason, but isn’t comfortable saying it (which I understand, I have a friend who gives me gifts all the time and I really dislike it)...

Or they are just generally ungrateful! In which case ceasing the gift-giving might teach them some retroactive gratitude.
Give them the gift of words. Write a letter telling them how much they mean to you. Boom, you're done.

Sugaree

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6935 on: November 20, 2019, 07:37:34 AM »
I already know the answer that everyone will give me but that is not the answer I am looking for. The answer is "just don't get anything".
....
Person likes outdoor planted flowers in the summer so at Christmas time can't do much about that.
Person has a dog and is devoted to it.
Person doesn't like anything for exotic food. Sticks to a very, limited mundane menu.
Person likes a certain brand of coffee. Have sent some of the favorite brand in the past.
Person has a few grandkids and loves them dearly.
Person does like flower arrangements.

I just recently bought an item that this person commented on and said they liked it and have been shopping for something like it. I offered to get it for the person. Finally after days of giving person time to think about it, that idea is now rejected.

Why is trying to GIVE something nice to a person I care for so hard?

Any suggestions? I am down to giving cash and that gives me no real joy.

You already know that this person likes coffee and flowers--why not send those?


Are you crafty?  Could you create a coffee bouquet kind of like those candy bouquets that are popular around Valentine's Day?

Ladychips

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6936 on: November 20, 2019, 09:05:33 AM »
RR53, I like the answers you've been given.  The only suggestion I have is an amaryllis.  Indoors they bloom at Christmas time.  And it will keep blooming every year.  Depending on the person's zone, they may be able to plant it outside and it bloom in the spring.  They are super low maintenance and super pretty.  Good luck!

Roadrunner53

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6937 on: November 20, 2019, 11:00:02 AM »
I have no children, no parents and no other relative to 'give' gifts to. I like to shower some gifts on my friend and normally like to give things that are useful. Food was, what I thought a good gift. You get it, you eat it and it is gone. You don't have to figure out where to put a doo dad. I plan on flowers and coffee but I also like to give a bit more. Person seems to like some things I have given. Kitchen stuff is of no interest. No new gadgets, pans, utensils. No Instant pots, cookbooks, blenders, mixers...

Alfred J Quack

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6938 on: November 20, 2019, 11:44:33 AM »
I've never heard of an energy company going bankrupt so I don't think there's much chance of that here.

Welcome to the Netherlands:

Trianel - December 2012
Orro - December 2012
EnergieFlex - October 2018
Robin Energie - Februari 2019

These are not producers but resellers. Still, if they go bankrupt, your money is gone.
Wasn't Enron also an energy producer?

Fomerly known as something

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6939 on: November 20, 2019, 11:50:43 AM »
I already know the answer that everyone will give me but that is not the answer I am looking for. The answer is "just don't get anything".

Okay, I have a lifetime friend that lives very far away from me. This person is past 65 but still working at a low paying job. I have never known a person who is dislikes so many things. I have sent frozen food items from reputable companies and the person kind of told me in a nice way they didn't really care for it. I have come out and asked what they might like. I have sent different types of prepaid gift cards for restaurants, grocery, retail. I get a thanks but nothing seems to thrill this person. The whole thing is that I would like to give something that gives some joy to this person. I know I could donate to a charity in their name but that doesn't give me joy.

Person likes outdoor planted flowers in the summer so at Christmas time can't do much about that.
Person has a dog and is devoted to it.
Person doesn't like anything for exotic food. Sticks to a very, limited mundane menu.
Person likes a certain brand of coffee. Have sent some of the favorite brand in the past.
Person has a few grandkids and loves them dearly.
Person does like flower arrangements.

I just recently bought an item that this person commented on and said they liked it and have been shopping for something like it. I offered to get it for the person. Finally after days of giving person time to think about it, that idea is now rejected.

Why is trying to GIVE something nice to a person I care for so hard?

Any suggestions? I am down to giving cash and that gives me no real joy.

Does person live near their grandkids? A grandparents pass to a zoo or children's museum?  (pass gets grandparent and kids in for a year)

Zikoris

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6940 on: November 20, 2019, 12:28:17 PM »
I already know the answer that everyone will give me but that is not the answer I am looking for. The answer is "just don't get anything".

Okay, I have a lifetime friend that lives very far away from me. This person is past 65 but still working at a low paying job. I have never known a person who is dislikes so many things. I have sent frozen food items from reputable companies and the person kind of told me in a nice way they didn't really care for it. I have come out and asked what they might like. I have sent different types of prepaid gift cards for restaurants, grocery, retail. I get a thanks but nothing seems to thrill this person. The whole thing is that I would like to give something that gives some joy to this person. I know I could donate to a charity in their name but that doesn't give me joy.

Person likes outdoor planted flowers in the summer so at Christmas time can't do much about that.
Person has a dog and is devoted to it.
Person doesn't like anything for exotic food. Sticks to a very, limited mundane menu.
Person likes a certain brand of coffee. Have sent some of the favorite brand in the past.
Person has a few grandkids and loves them dearly.
Person does like flower arrangements.

I just recently bought an item that this person commented on and said they liked it and have been shopping for something like it. I offered to get it for the person. Finally after days of giving person time to think about it, that idea is now rejected.

Why is trying to GIVE something nice to a person I care for so hard?

Any suggestions? I am down to giving cash and that gives me no real joy.

I would seriously ask yourself, does this person even WANT you to give them gifts? A lot of people just don't like gifts. I'm one of them for the most part. I'm very minimalist and working towards the zero waste ideal, so almost nothing a person could give me would actually be wanted, so I really prefer for people to just not get me things at all. The only exceptions are things like gift cards for digital purchases (video games), looseleaf herbal tea, maybe some other edible things, and actually taking me shopping for an item I need (for example, my mom once got me a kick-ass universal power converter/charger that's been on every trip I've taken since).

frugalnacho

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6941 on: November 20, 2019, 12:39:59 PM »
I'm fucking sick of my mom buying me gifts.  Every year it's the same thing, what do you want for christmas?  Nothing mom! I am financially stable! If I want any material items in the gift price range I will just go buy them because I have hundreds of thousands of dollars and can afford my own socks! If I don't own something it's because I don't want it! Stop wasting your money on things I have to throw out later! If you really insist, why don't you do something nice like invite us over for dinner? Or come hang out with your grandchild?

Every year I still get some kind of gift.  At least at this point it's a gift card to a restaurant or something.  Even then it's like you took $50 that would be accepted literally anywhere in the world and exchanged it for a $50 card that is only redeemable at texas roadhouse.  Thanks?

TVRodriguez

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6942 on: November 20, 2019, 12:54:43 PM »
I'm fucking sick of my mom buying me gifts.  Every year it's the same thing, what do you want for christmas?  Nothing mom! I am financially stable! If I want any material items in the gift price range I will just go buy them because I have hundreds of thousands of dollars and can afford my own socks! If I don't own something it's because I don't want it! Stop wasting your money on things I have to throw out later! If you really insist, why don't you do something nice like invite us over for dinner? Or come hang out with your grandchild?

Every year I still get some kind of gift.  At least at this point it's a gift card to a restaurant or something.  Even then it's like you took $50 that would be accepted literally anywhere in the world and exchanged it for a $50 card that is only redeemable at texas roadhouse.  Thanks?

Wow, don't hold back--tell us how you really feel! 

Here's an idea, and I'm just throwing it out there:  what if you start a list of inexpensive things each year that you would not mind receiving, specifically to give to your mother? 

Think of it as a gift to her.

Ideas:
-books (regular, kindle or audio)
-"special" foods, such as catalog-based fruit/cheese/candy boxes (personally, I like Harry & David pears)
-toiletries (you could probably use a small manicure set)
-travel items (especially if they fold up so you can put them away), like an inflatable pillow
-scarves/hats/gloves (winter, after all)
-note cards (to send handwritten thank you notes, especially to your mom)

Roadrunner53

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6943 on: November 20, 2019, 12:59:40 PM »
I already know the answer that everyone will give me but that is not the answer I am looking for. The answer is "just don't get anything".

Okay, I have a lifetime friend that lives very far away from me. This person is past 65 but still working at a low paying job. I have never known a person who is dislikes so many things. I have sent frozen food items from reputable companies and the person kind of told me in a nice way they didn't really care for it. I have come out and asked what they might like. I have sent different types of prepaid gift cards for restaurants, grocery, retail. I get a thanks but nothing seems to thrill this person. The whole thing is that I would like to give something that gives some joy to this person. I know I could donate to a charity in their name but that doesn't give me joy.

Person likes outdoor planted flowers in the summer so at Christmas time can't do much about that.
Person has a dog and is devoted to it.
Person doesn't like anything for exotic food. Sticks to a very, limited mundane menu.
Person likes a certain brand of coffee. Have sent some of the favorite brand in the past.
Person has a few grandkids and loves them dearly.
Person does like flower arrangements.

I just recently bought an item that this person commented on and said they liked it and have been shopping for something like it. I offered to get it for the person. Finally after days of giving person time to think about it, that idea is now rejected.

Why is trying to GIVE something nice to a person I care for so hard?

Any suggestions? I am down to giving cash and that gives me no real joy.

I would seriously ask yourself, does this person even WANT you to give them gifts? A lot of people just don't like gifts. I'm one of them for the most part. I'm very minimalist and working towards the zero waste ideal, so almost nothing a person could give me would actually be wanted, so I really prefer for people to just not get me things at all. The only exceptions are things like gift cards for digital purchases (video games), looseleaf herbal tea, maybe some other edible things, and actually taking me shopping for an item I need (for example, my mom once got me a kick-ass universal power converter/charger that's been on every trip I've taken since).

Yes, we exchange gifts each year for Christmas and Birthdays. It would take a plane ride to go shopping with Person so that is out. Person doesn't like tea...another thing that wouldn't work.

Anyone have any ideas of computer add on things? Person loves their computer and loves photos. Is there any type of gizmo that makes scanning photos easy? Or some other cool thing as a computer fun thing besides games? I think Person has an external hard drive and that isn't really fun but good to have. I have a DYMO label printer but don't use it much but it is a cool gadget.

solon

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6944 on: November 20, 2019, 01:34:44 PM »
I'm fucking sick of my mom buying me gifts.  Every year it's the same thing, what do you want for christmas?  Nothing mom! I am financially stable! If I want any material items in the gift price range I will just go buy them because I have hundreds of thousands of dollars and can afford my own socks! If I don't own something it's because I don't want it! Stop wasting your money on things I have to throw out later! If you really insist, why don't you do something nice like invite us over for dinner? Or come hang out with your grandchild?

Every year I still get some kind of gift.  At least at this point it's a gift card to a restaurant or something.  Even then it's like you took $50 that would be accepted literally anywhere in the world and exchanged it for a $50 card that is only redeemable at texas roadhouse.  Thanks?

Wow, don't hold back--tell us how you really feel! 

Here's an idea, and I'm just throwing it out there:  what if you start a list of inexpensive things each year that you would not mind receiving, specifically to give to your mother? 

Think of it as a gift to her.

Ideas:
-books (regular, kindle or audio)
-"special" foods, such as catalog-based fruit/cheese/candy boxes (personally, I like Harry & David pears)
-toiletries (you could probably use a small manicure set)
-travel items (especially if they fold up so you can put them away), like an inflatable pillow
-scarves/hats/gloves (winter, after all)
-note cards (to send handwritten thank you notes, especially to your mom)

For example, I recently dropped my swiss army knife and cracked it. It's still perfectly usable, so I'm not replacing it right away. And it's only $35 so I could easily replace it anytime I want. But I put it on my wish list so people who want to give me gifts know what I want.

It's not a big deal - I don't really care if someone gets it for me or not. But there are people in my life who WANT to get me gifts, and this gives them an idea.

I have several things on my list like this so there are lots of ideas to choose from.

Roadrunner53

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6945 on: November 20, 2019, 02:17:22 PM »
I'm fucking sick of my mom buying me gifts.  Every year it's the same thing, what do you want for christmas?  Nothing mom! I am financially stable! If I want any material items in the gift price range I will just go buy them because I have hundreds of thousands of dollars and can afford my own socks! If I don't own something it's because I don't want it! Stop wasting your money on things I have to throw out later! If you really insist, why don't you do something nice like invite us over for dinner? Or come hang out with your grandchild?

Every year I still get some kind of gift.  At least at this point it's a gift card to a restaurant or something.  Even then it's like you took $50 that would be accepted literally anywhere in the world and exchanged it for a $50 card that is only redeemable at texas roadhouse.  Thanks?

Wow, don't hold back--tell us how you really feel! 

Here's an idea, and I'm just throwing it out there:  what if you start a list of inexpensive things each year that you would not mind receiving, specifically to give to your mother? 

Think of it as a gift to her.

Ideas:
-books (regular, kindle or audio)
-"special" foods, such as catalog-based fruit/cheese/candy boxes (personally, I like Harry & David pears)
-toiletries (you could probably use a small manicure set)
-travel items (especially if they fold up so you can put them away), like an inflatable pillow
-scarves/hats/gloves (winter, after all)
-note cards (to send handwritten thank you notes, especially to your mom)

Good idea TVRodriguez! Makes a lot of sense. Frugalnacho, my Mom did the same thing every year and it did drive me nuts. But she LOVED Christmas and I would give her a small list which she inflated by 200%. It gave her so much joy. She is no longer with me and Christmas really is pretty meaningless to me now. I now realize even though I didn't want anything, it was important to her. She wanted to give and bring happiness. Throw your mother a bone and give her some ideas. Make HER happy. It isn't really about you. Be kind, your mother won't be around forever. I am sure there is something nice you could put on your list starting with TVRodriguez ideas. How about a really nice pen to write with? New quilt for your bed. Maybe you could think of a set of tools where she adds one or two each year. Yes, you can buy this stuff yourself but remember, your mom wants to put a smile on your face. I hope you are generous to her since you have lots of money.

frugalnacho

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6946 on: November 20, 2019, 02:22:47 PM »
I'm fucking sick of my mom buying me gifts.  Every year it's the same thing, what do you want for christmas?  Nothing mom! I am financially stable! If I want any material items in the gift price range I will just go buy them because I have hundreds of thousands of dollars and can afford my own socks! If I don't own something it's because I don't want it! Stop wasting your money on things I have to throw out later! If you really insist, why don't you do something nice like invite us over for dinner? Or come hang out with your grandchild?

Every year I still get some kind of gift.  At least at this point it's a gift card to a restaurant or something.  Even then it's like you took $50 that would be accepted literally anywhere in the world and exchanged it for a $50 card that is only redeemable at texas roadhouse.  Thanks?

Wow, don't hold back--tell us how you really feel! 

Here's an idea, and I'm just throwing it out there:  what if you start a list of inexpensive things each year that you would not mind receiving, specifically to give to your mother? 

Think of it as a gift to her.

Ideas:
-books (regular, kindle or audio)
-"special" foods, such as catalog-based fruit/cheese/candy boxes (personally, I like Harry & David pears)
-toiletries (you could probably use a small manicure set)
-travel items (especially if they fold up so you can put them away), like an inflatable pillow
-scarves/hats/gloves (winter, after all)
-note cards (to send handwritten thank you notes, especially to your mom)

It's a little more than just me not needing stuff.  My parents are broke and make poor financial decisions and I suspect some financial responsibility will eventually fall on my shoulders when they are older.  So in a way I feel like I am basically buying myself stuff I don't need just to satisfy my mom's urge to shop and buy useless gifts for everyone (including me).  I can always turn them away and say they made their bed and they need to sleep in it, but I would prefer they are just more responsible with their money now so we can avoid that scenario altogether. 

Also I deeply hate the entire idea of gift cards.  It's like cash, but you can only use it at one specific location for a limited amount of time.  The entire idea that you would take something as valuable as cash and restrict the shit out of it for apparently no reason really irks me. 

frugalnacho

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6947 on: November 20, 2019, 02:27:33 PM »
I'm fucking sick of my mom buying me gifts.  Every year it's the same thing, what do you want for christmas?  Nothing mom! I am financially stable! If I want any material items in the gift price range I will just go buy them because I have hundreds of thousands of dollars and can afford my own socks! If I don't own something it's because I don't want it! Stop wasting your money on things I have to throw out later! If you really insist, why don't you do something nice like invite us over for dinner? Or come hang out with your grandchild?

Every year I still get some kind of gift.  At least at this point it's a gift card to a restaurant or something.  Even then it's like you took $50 that would be accepted literally anywhere in the world and exchanged it for a $50 card that is only redeemable at texas roadhouse.  Thanks?

Wow, don't hold back--tell us how you really feel! 

Here's an idea, and I'm just throwing it out there:  what if you start a list of inexpensive things each year that you would not mind receiving, specifically to give to your mother? 

Think of it as a gift to her.

Ideas:
-books (regular, kindle or audio)
-"special" foods, such as catalog-based fruit/cheese/candy boxes (personally, I like Harry & David pears)
-toiletries (you could probably use a small manicure set)
-travel items (especially if they fold up so you can put them away), like an inflatable pillow
-scarves/hats/gloves (winter, after all)
-note cards (to send handwritten thank you notes, especially to your mom)

Good idea TVRodriguez! Makes a lot of sense. Frugalnacho, my Mom did the same thing every year and it did drive me nuts. But she LOVED Christmas and I would give her a small list which she inflated by 200%. It gave her so much joy. She is no longer with me and Christmas really is pretty meaningless to me now. I now realize even though I didn't want anything, it was important to her. She wanted to give and bring happiness. Throw your mother a bone and give her some ideas. Make HER happy. It isn't really about you. Be kind, your mother won't be around forever. I am sure there is something nice you could put on your list starting with TVRodriguez ideas. How about a really nice pen to write with? New quilt for your bed. Maybe you could think of a set of tools where she adds one or two each year. Yes, you can buy this stuff yourself but remember, your mom wants to put a smile on your face. I hope you are generous to her since you have lots of money.

Yea I get that, but I would prefer she just do something nice.  If you really insist on spending money just buy a nice piece of meat (like a rib roast) and cook us dinner.  We would really enjoy that and would also get to spend some time together enjoying a nice meal that we don't normally get to eat.  Win-win.  What I don't need is special wine glasses when I don't drink wine.  Or charms to put on said wine glasses.  Or some piece of cheap jewelry that I will never wear because I hate jewelry.  I know she enjoys giving me something, but the vast majority of things I get from her are complete junk that I don't need.  I would prefer she spends it taking us out, or cooking us dinner, or just taking care of themselves financially so that I don't have to.

solon

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6948 on: November 20, 2019, 02:55:48 PM »
I'm fucking sick of my mom buying me gifts.  Every year it's the same thing, what do you want for christmas?  Nothing mom! I am financially stable! If I want any material items in the gift price range I will just go buy them because I have hundreds of thousands of dollars and can afford my own socks! If I don't own something it's because I don't want it! Stop wasting your money on things I have to throw out later! If you really insist, why don't you do something nice like invite us over for dinner? Or come hang out with your grandchild?

Every year I still get some kind of gift.  At least at this point it's a gift card to a restaurant or something.  Even then it's like you took $50 that would be accepted literally anywhere in the world and exchanged it for a $50 card that is only redeemable at texas roadhouse.  Thanks?

Wow, don't hold back--tell us how you really feel! 

Here's an idea, and I'm just throwing it out there:  what if you start a list of inexpensive things each year that you would not mind receiving, specifically to give to your mother? 

Think of it as a gift to her.

Ideas:
-books (regular, kindle or audio)
-"special" foods, such as catalog-based fruit/cheese/candy boxes (personally, I like Harry & David pears)
-toiletries (you could probably use a small manicure set)
-travel items (especially if they fold up so you can put them away), like an inflatable pillow
-scarves/hats/gloves (winter, after all)
-note cards (to send handwritten thank you notes, especially to your mom)

Good idea TVRodriguez! Makes a lot of sense. Frugalnacho, my Mom did the same thing every year and it did drive me nuts. But she LOVED Christmas and I would give her a small list which she inflated by 200%. It gave her so much joy. She is no longer with me and Christmas really is pretty meaningless to me now. I now realize even though I didn't want anything, it was important to her. She wanted to give and bring happiness. Throw your mother a bone and give her some ideas. Make HER happy. It isn't really about you. Be kind, your mother won't be around forever. I am sure there is something nice you could put on your list starting with TVRodriguez ideas. How about a really nice pen to write with? New quilt for your bed. Maybe you could think of a set of tools where she adds one or two each year. Yes, you can buy this stuff yourself but remember, your mom wants to put a smile on your face. I hope you are generous to her since you have lots of money.

Yea I get that, but I would prefer she just do something nice.  If you really insist on spending money just buy a nice piece of meat (like a rib roast) and cook us dinner.  We would really enjoy that and would also get to spend some time together enjoying a nice meal that we don't normally get to eat.  Win-win.  What I don't need is special wine glasses when I don't drink wine.  Or charms to put on said wine glasses.  Or some piece of cheap jewelry that I will never wear because I hate jewelry.  I know she enjoys giving me something, but the vast majority of things I get from her are complete junk that I don't need. I would prefer she spends it taking us out, or cooking us dinner, or just taking care of themselves financially so that I don't have to.

I think the reason she is giving you this stuff is because she doesn't know what else to give. Give her a list and you'll probably find the quality of her gifts improving.

Roadrunner53

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #6949 on: November 20, 2019, 03:25:14 PM »
Frugalnatcho, you are getting a bunch of junk you don't want because you are not providing your mother with any clues on what you might like. She is probably wracking her brain trying to find something to thrill you. You are pushing her away. Solon is right. Give her a list of a few things. It is a pain in the butt but you can do it! You could also buy her a rib roast and tell her your desire is to have a family get together and her gift is cooking it. Make it a tradition. What about gardening, do you grow tomatoes or other veggies? She could give you a certificate to a garden center. How about herbs, do you like to grow them but need a set up like an indoor grow box that is hydroponic? Mushroom grow kits and other grow kits: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=plant+growing+kits&hvadid=78546413561426&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvqmt=e&tag=mh0b-20&ref=pd_sl_9s4qkzvque_e

Do you have a hobby of some sort she could help add to? How about an online subscription to something like the NY Times or Washington Post or Audible? Or Sirius XM. Yes, you can afford to pay for these things but if any of them interest you, then you would get something that takes up no space, something you use and will enjoy.

I hope something helps you help your mother. She is the only one you will ever have.