Author Topic: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)  (Read 3136187 times)

jinga nation

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4950 on: April 02, 2018, 04:50:40 PM »
Ah, see, it's a bit different in the UK so my intentions could easily not have been honest. It's easy to end up in a situation where you get some or indeed most of your loan written off completely. I might only ever pay back a few hundred if my income remains low. Even my husband, who is always above the threshold, might end up paying back only half or so. So I could have got £10k, stuck it in VGLS100, and kept it (and the growth) forever just by never earning much more than £15k/yr (which, given my chosen career as a feckless artist, would not be hard).
Back in the 80s when I was at a college, the people with money to pay for their kids college, were getting the low interest subsidized loans at 5% or 6% and buying CDs at 12% with the loan money.
 Never seemed quite right to me.
In the early 2000s I took out subsidized loans, no interest until 6 months after graduation, which I deferred for an additional 2 years by working on Master's degree (on scholarships, grants, natch!). The loans went into CD ladders at some 5 or 6%. My dad freaked out one day when he saw my binder with CD certificates with over $50k. The loans were only $10k. The rest was from credit cards app-o-rama where you could write yourself a balance transfer check at 0%, zero fees, for 12 months. At one point I had almost a $100k sitting in the bank earning 6%. Luckily I was risk averse and didn't put it in the stock market or funds; I would have shit bricks if I lost even a penny in the dot crash.
Arbitrage, once I partook in the scheme, seemed quite right to me, participating in the 'Murican credit game.
« Last Edit: April 02, 2018, 07:53:33 PM by jinga nation »

Step37

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4951 on: April 02, 2018, 07:18:45 PM »
I just had to go in and adjust my 401k contributions way down because my January and February bonuses were so big I was going to max out too early and my employer matches per pay period.

LOL! poor you;)

Congrats on the bonuses.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4952 on: April 03, 2018, 01:20:14 AM »
We are currently driving home on a 5 hour trip. Some of the petrol stations have an add for icecreams for half price. But the 2 stations we tried were sold out for that brand of ice cream. Although the sun is shining bright, I'll be damned to pay full price for an icecream.

Here in my socialist country it may well be illegal to have an ad for something they don't have. Because the leftists extremist think - what an unimaginable thing!! - that companies may try to "upsell" you in exactly that way and the "sold out" is actually no accident.

I agree. They should have removed the add. We also have laws against false marketing.

FreshPrincess

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4953 on: April 03, 2018, 04:44:52 AM »
I just had to go in and adjust my 401k contributions way down because my January and February bonuses were so big I was going to max out too early and my employer matches per pay period.

LOL! poor you;)

Congrats on the bonuses.

I know... cry me a river, right?  And thank you :) This is also a total #firstworldproblem and I got some lucky sales.  Just hope I adjusted it correctly...

marielle

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4954 on: April 03, 2018, 10:49:00 AM »
A coworker came to me today to ask about the new HSA plan.

Which is fine.

The MPP is that our HR person sent her to me because apparently I would be able to explain it better/know more about it!?

Dollar Slice

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4955 on: April 03, 2018, 10:55:36 AM »
The MPP is that our HR person sent her to me because apparently I would be able to explain it better/know more about it!?

LOL. I have the same problem. There's an HR department, but people come to me with all their questions about benefits, payroll, etc.

frugalnacho

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4956 on: April 03, 2018, 11:10:17 AM »
We too have a human retard department.  I think anyone that is too incompetent to do a real job gets "promoted" to HR.

[MOD NOTE:  come on now, let's have a little class, please]
« Last Edit: April 03, 2018, 11:20:01 AM by FrugalToque »

jinga nation

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4957 on: April 03, 2018, 12:05:19 PM »
We too have a human retard department.  I think anyone that is too incompetent to do a real job gets "promoted" to HR.

[MOD NOTE:  come on now, let's have a little class, please]

The problem, everywhere I've worked, is that HR is almost always all-female, and is either young recent graduates or grandmas.

The young ones, probably in their first full-time corporate job, are too nice to everyone, saying yes all the time, and don't go back, research the question to understand the issue, and provide answers, completing the loop. The wishy-washy answering is annoying to accountants and engineers, who prefer short, concise answers, in the form of YES/NO because (short explanation).

The older ones, nearing retirement or in early-onset dotage, don't give a fuck about anyone younger than them, are surly in the "Get Off My Lawn" manner, and haven't kept up with rules and regulation changes. Many of them just sit on FB/Craigslist/Whatchamacallit most of the day, only answer to their boss or levels above.

Anyone competent in HR, who has develops a skill on the job, such as setting up some HR application or database, or understands some arcane rules, ends up leaving to be a consultant.

End-result: The perception persists that HR is full of young dumb bimbos and surly old grannies. It isn't fair to generalize, and isn't fair to the good ones, but it truly is the case that one HR rep's fuckup gives 'em all a bad name.

And if you're a male, you're stigmatized with the notion of "he was so dumb in college or a jock who couldn't hack business/accounting/engineering/etc school."

jlcnuke

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4958 on: April 03, 2018, 12:51:47 PM »
I'm on the road for work and the client decided they don't need me to work 7/10's on nights... so I'm stuck with just working 5/10's on days. Missed out on 20 hours of OT for a couple weeks that I might have been able to snag :(

(When I'm home I like to work 40's, but on the road, I'd rather work more than less)

frugalnacho

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4959 on: April 03, 2018, 12:52:04 PM »
We too have a human retard department.  I think anyone that is too incompetent to do a real job gets "promoted" to HR.

[MOD NOTE:  come on now, let's have a little class, please]


I can't speak for every company, but I stand by my statement about my current employer. 

Ynari

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4960 on: April 03, 2018, 01:24:26 PM »
We too have a human retard department.  I think anyone that is too incompetent to do a real job gets "promoted" to HR.

[MOD NOTE:  come on now, let's have a little class, please]


I can't speak for every company, but I stand by my statement about my current employer.

For context, this is less about your unqualified coworkers and more about how the r-word is offensive, even when used in a context not referencing someone with an intellectual disability. "Spread the word to end the word" is a campaign against the use of this dehumanizing and derogatory word. https://www.r-word.org/  A lot of people aren't aware of the baggage surrounding it, so feel free to browse around that site if you're curious about why there's a campaign around it.

dragoncar

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4961 on: April 03, 2018, 10:18:53 PM »
We too have a human retard department.  I think anyone that is too incompetent to do a real job gets "promoted" to HR.

[MOD NOTE:  come on now, let's have a little class, please]


I can't speak for every company, but I stand by my statement about my current employer.
For context, this is less about your unqualified coworkers and more about how the r-word is offensive, even when used in a context not referencing someone with an intellectual disability. "Spread the word to end the word" is a campaign against the use of this dehumanizing and derogatory word. https://www.r-word.org/  A lot of people aren't aware of the baggage surrounding it, so feel free to browse around that site if you're curious about why there's a campaign around it.

Don't worry scro'! There are plenty of ' tards out there living really kick ass lives. My first wife was 'tarded. She's a pilot now.


[MOD NOTE: This isn't just about the use of the word "retarded", which you probably shouldn't use in relation to your spouse (???).  This is also about referring to an entire profession as "retarded".  I didn't let it slide when someone started a fight by referring to all people with a certain major as "burdens on society" and I don't see why it should stand here.]

« Last Edit: April 04, 2018, 06:58:04 AM by FrugalToque »

Loren Ver

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4962 on: April 04, 2018, 05:20:25 AM »
Getting back to the actual topic, stocks are on sale, but I don't have any more money to put in as my taxes were higher than anticipated :(.

Also,  my company is going through giant changes.  We are now starting to make plans for the future.  Along with this the people development is changing.  I need to make slides about my development over the next 5 years... I plan on being retired before then....  I can't put that on my slide, it would be, uh, gauche ;).

LV

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4963 on: April 04, 2018, 07:16:41 AM »
My MPP is that my dad's been hospitalized for the past week.  And I've been eating in the cafeteria, driving around a lot, and not been price conscious.  I know in my head that it's OK, that's what an emergency fund is for, and this is one.  But my inner mustachian is freaking out -
"we're out of gas, again?"
"that salad is less than a dollar to make"
"$20 for sweatpants?!?"


Yeah @Dictionary Time -- we get the day off from mustachianism when things like that happen.  No guilt allowed.  Hope your dad is doing ok.
If it helps, remind yourself that a less mustachian person would be blowing through a lot more money. You are making the best choices from the options that are available to you. You deserve an extra measure of grace right now and, 《HUGS》

CptCool

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4964 on: April 04, 2018, 09:01:23 AM »
Don't worry scro'! There are plenty of ' tards out there living really kick ass lives. My first wife was 'tarded. She's a pilot now.


[MOD NOTE: This isn't just about the use of the word "retarded", which you probably shouldn't use in relation to your spouse (???).  This is also about referring to an entire profession as "retarded".  I didn't let it slide when someone started a fight by referring to all people with a certain major as "burdens on society" and I don't see why it should stand here.]


Go away! Batin'!

Dollar Slice

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4965 on: April 04, 2018, 05:18:36 PM »
Our company (well, one unit of the company) got acquired on short notice and my co-workers and I got laid off abruptly and then rehired by the new owner 10 days later... so I saw one co-worker for the first time since the lay-offs today. I know him fairly well (well enough to know he never looks at anything corporate-jargony-looking) so I mentioned to him that if he wanted to roll over the 401(k), the paperwork was in the packet they sent us in the mail. He said "We had a 401(k)?" Well... I tried...

Meanwhile, I've already got my rollover check and my Mustachian impulses are butting heads - do I send it to Vanguard as cheaply as possible, or do I pay for a Fedex or Priority Mail or something to minimize time out of the market?

Sibley

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4966 on: April 04, 2018, 06:20:21 PM »
Our company (well, one unit of the company) got acquired on short notice and my co-workers and I got laid off abruptly and then rehired by the new owner 10 days later... so I saw one co-worker for the first time since the lay-offs today. I know him fairly well (well enough to know he never looks at anything corporate-jargony-looking) so I mentioned to him that if he wanted to roll over the 401(k), the paperwork was in the packet they sent us in the mail. He said "We had a 401(k)?" Well... I tried...

Meanwhile, I've already got my rollover check and my Mustachian impulses are butting heads - do I send it to Vanguard as cheaply as possible, or do I pay for a Fedex or Priority Mail or something to minimize time out of the market?

Don't do it as cheaply as possible. At a minimum, tracking number. Don't want to lose that check in the mail!

Dollar Slice

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4967 on: April 04, 2018, 06:24:31 PM »
Our company (well, one unit of the company) got acquired on short notice and my co-workers and I got laid off abruptly and then rehired by the new owner 10 days later... so I saw one co-worker for the first time since the lay-offs today. I know him fairly well (well enough to know he never looks at anything corporate-jargony-looking) so I mentioned to him that if he wanted to roll over the 401(k), the paperwork was in the packet they sent us in the mail. He said "We had a 401(k)?" Well... I tried...

Meanwhile, I've already got my rollover check and my Mustachian impulses are butting heads - do I send it to Vanguard as cheaply as possible, or do I pay for a Fedex or Priority Mail or something to minimize time out of the market?

Don't do it as cheaply as possible. At a minimum, tracking number. Don't want to lose that check in the mail!

They sent it to me in a regular windowed envelope, regular mail... for which I was charged a $50 withdrawal fee. Ugh. I'm tempted to just drop it in the mail because then I don't have to wait at the post office. The next two days I'm not sure I'll have time to go wait in line to mail something.

frugalnacho

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4968 on: April 04, 2018, 09:23:28 PM »
Our company (well, one unit of the company) got acquired on short notice and my co-workers and I got laid off abruptly and then rehired by the new owner 10 days later... so I saw one co-worker for the first time since the lay-offs today. I know him fairly well (well enough to know he never looks at anything corporate-jargony-looking) so I mentioned to him that if he wanted to roll over the 401(k), the paperwork was in the packet they sent us in the mail. He said "We had a 401(k)?" Well... I tried...

Meanwhile, I've already got my rollover check and my Mustachian impulses are butting heads - do I send it to Vanguard as cheaply as possible, or do I pay for a Fedex or Priority Mail or something to minimize time out of the market?

Don't do it as cheaply as possible. At a minimum, tracking number. Don't want to lose that check in the mail!

They sent it to me in a regular windowed envelope, regular mail... for which I was charged a $50 withdrawal fee. Ugh. I'm tempted to just drop it in the mail because then I don't have to wait at the post office. The next two days I'm not sure I'll have time to go wait in line to mail something.

Why did they send you a check at all?  I was instructed to have it sent directly to the next institution without acting as a middle man so there is no possibility it gets counted as a distribution.  I also thought there was a time frame from the closing of the initial account that the money had to be in the new account, otherwise it will count as a distribution.  I would get it into vanguard asap.

Dollar Slice

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4969 on: April 04, 2018, 09:35:58 PM »
Why did they send you a check at all?  I was instructed to have it sent directly to the next institution without acting as a middle man so there is no possibility it gets counted as a distribution.  I also thought there was a time frame from the closing of the initial account that the money had to be in the new account, otherwise it will count as a distribution.  I would get it into vanguard asap.

No idea, but I've done two rollovers with different companies, and both times they sent me the check even though I sent them the letter that Vanguard gives you with instructions to mail the check directly to them. I even manually highlighted that part of the letter. The check is made out to Vanguard FBO (for benefit of) [Dollar Slice], though, so I'm not too worried about counting it as a distribution.

frugalnacho

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4970 on: April 04, 2018, 10:01:27 PM »
Why did they send you a check at all?  I was instructed to have it sent directly to the next institution without acting as a middle man so there is no possibility it gets counted as a distribution.  I also thought there was a time frame from the closing of the initial account that the money had to be in the new account, otherwise it will count as a distribution.  I would get it into vanguard asap.

No idea, but I've done two rollovers with different companies, and both times they sent me the check even though I sent them the letter that Vanguard gives you with instructions to mail the check directly to them. I even manually highlighted that part of the letter. The check is made out to Vanguard FBO (for benefit of) [Dollar Slice], though, so I'm not too worried about counting it as a distribution.

I think you have 60 days to get it into the new account, otherwise it will count as a distribution.  Should be plenty of time, but I would have anxiety until I got it into my IRA successfully.

Freedomin5

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4971 on: April 05, 2018, 12:55:03 AM »
Conversation with my non-financially-minded DH today

Me: Well, we have six groups of friends coming to stay with us at our cottage this summer.
DH: Donít your friends have their own cottages?
Me: No, I donít think so. They sounded pretty excited when I asked if they wanted to come visit us.
DH: But why? Theyíve been working so much longer than us. Why canít they afford a $200k cottage? Itís not that much money.
Me: You have to realize you married into a financially savvy family. $200k is a lot of money to some people.
DH: Yeah, but they have good jobs. (My friends all make over 6 figures)
Me: Yeah, but they also have nice houses and nice cars and nice vacations.
DH: Fine then. Well, next year I want to invite all my friends to the cottage. Otherwise itís not fair.

TLDR: Getting into financial fights with DH because we have too much  and we are still figuring out a way to fairly let our friends share our bounty.

BDWW

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4972 on: April 05, 2018, 01:17:24 PM »
Paid $7 dollars on envelopes postage to mail amended tax returns in, because the budget act reauthorized some expired deductions after I had already filed. Felt weird to be physically mailing them because I've filed electronically for a decade or so.

Dollar Slice

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4973 on: April 05, 2018, 01:30:19 PM »
Why did they send you a check at all?  I was instructed to have it sent directly to the next institution without acting as a middle man so there is no possibility it gets counted as a distribution.  I also thought there was a time frame from the closing of the initial account that the money had to be in the new account, otherwise it will count as a distribution.  I would get it into vanguard asap.

No idea, but I've done two rollovers with different companies, and both times they sent me the check even though I sent them the letter that Vanguard gives you with instructions to mail the check directly to them. I even manually highlighted that part of the letter. The check is made out to Vanguard FBO (for benefit of) [Dollar Slice], though, so I'm not too worried about counting it as a distribution.

I think you have 60 days to get it into the new account, otherwise it will count as a distribution.  Should be plenty of time, but I would have anxiety until I got it into my IRA successfully.

I ended up sending it priority mail and certified. (Decided on largely because there was a huge line and I couldn't find a Priority Mail Express envelope...)  $15 postage on top of the $50 withdrawal fees to mail a damn check. But it will save me money in the long run since they charged quarterly fees.

gaja

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4974 on: April 06, 2018, 03:08:00 PM »
The oldest daughter (11) is leaving tomorrow for a 9 day travel to a youth camp across the world. She has packed her national costume, traditional food from our country, and more than enough clothes. Still, there is plenty of room in her little carry on suitcase. I'm getting increasingly nervous, considering how much people normally pack for these types of journeys. Have we misunderstood something? Is there anything imporant she should pack that we are missing? Or do "normal" people for some reason carry a lot of unnecessary junk?

LeRainDrop

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4975 on: April 06, 2018, 03:46:59 PM »
The oldest daughter (11) is leaving tomorrow for a 9 day travel to a youth camp across the world. She has packed her national costume, traditional food from our country, and more than enough clothes. Still, there is plenty of room in her little carry on suitcase. I'm getting increasingly nervous, considering how much people normally pack for these types of journeys. Have we misunderstood something? Is there anything imporant she should pack that we are missing? Or do "normal" people for some reason carry a lot of unnecessary junk?

Haha, you've probably hit the mark!  People think I'm crazy when I bring one carry-on-size suitcase/duffel bag and one large purse bag for my trips to foreign countries lasting 4-6 weeks.  I feel like I'm probably bringing a little more than I even need, yet people are like, "Is THAT all you packed???"  Take heart that when she gets there, she won't be one of the kids struggling to lug around a bunch of unnecessary luggage.  Like the time I was in Italy with a friend who brought a full-size suitcase, and this one town kept switching which platform our train would be on.  She had to haul that suitcase up and down a bunch of stairs at least 5 or 6 times!

jlcnuke

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4976 on: April 06, 2018, 03:49:37 PM »
The oldest daughter (11) is leaving tomorrow for a 9 day travel to a youth camp across the world. She has packed her national costume, traditional food from our country, and more than enough clothes. Still, there is plenty of room in her little carry on suitcase. I'm getting increasingly nervous, considering how much people normally pack for these types of journeys. Have we misunderstood something? Is there anything imporant she should pack that we are missing? Or do "normal" people for some reason carry a lot of unnecessary junk?
Passport, hygeine supplies (toothpaste etc etc), maybe a camera?

Honestly, most people grossly over pack though. They'll bring 4 pairs of shoes and 3 outfits per day and their entire bathroom plus half the electronics they own. If common sense says everything needed is packed, it probably is.

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Freckles

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4977 on: April 06, 2018, 08:41:49 PM »
The oldest daughter (11) is leaving tomorrow for a 9 day travel to a youth camp across the world. She has packed her national costume, traditional food from our country, and more than enough clothes. Still, there is plenty of room in her little carry on suitcase. I'm getting increasingly nervous, considering how much people normally pack for these types of journeys. Have we misunderstood something? Is there anything imporant she should pack that we are missing? Or do "normal" people for some reason carry a lot of unnecessary junk?

11? Nine days? ACROSS the WORLD? How are you not freaking out? And you say she's your oldest, so you can't just be inured by now from older children having left you. I can't bear it; how are you so strong and brave?

Hirondelle

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4978 on: April 07, 2018, 10:40:39 AM »
The oldest daughter (11) is leaving tomorrow for a 9 day travel to a youth camp across the world. She has packed her national costume, traditional food from our country, and more than enough clothes. Still, there is plenty of room in her little carry on suitcase. I'm getting increasingly nervous, considering how much people normally pack for these types of journeys. Have we misunderstood something? Is there anything imporant she should pack that we are missing? Or do "normal" people for some reason carry a lot of unnecessary junk?

I remember our 5 day Rome trip at the end of high school. I was the only (!!!) person that brought only carry on luggage. Some of the girls struggled to stay within the 23 KG limit. I remember one of the girls calling her mom to tell how she was soooo glad she brought 2 outfits/day and 5 pairs of shoes cause she could wear sth else for day and nighttime.

Guess she'll be fainting when I tell her I needed <10 kg for an 11 month trip.

BTDretire

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4979 on: April 07, 2018, 11:02:57 AM »
The oldest daughter (11) is leaving tomorrow for a 9 day travel to a youth camp across the world. She has packed her national costume, traditional food from our country, and more than enough clothes. Still, there is plenty of room in her little carry on suitcase. I'm getting increasingly nervous, considering how much people normally pack for these types of journeys. Have we misunderstood something? Is there anything imporant she should pack that we are missing? Or do "normal" people for some reason carry a lot of unnecessary junk?

11? Nine days? ACROSS the WORLD? How are you not freaking out? And you say she's your oldest, so you can't just be inured by now from older children having left you. I can't bear it; how are you so strong and brave?
I work on a Marina with a dock my customer stand on a dock over the water, it is very common for mom's or pops to be screaming at their kids to "stay away from the water or "stand right here!".
 One day I had a young mother with a boy about 4yrs old, she let him walk up and down the dock, look into the water, about a 5 ft drop, without a word. I complimented her on letting her son explore, and added many mothers
are a little crazy when their kid is by the water. She responded "I'm from Colorado, we're a bit more laid back." :-)

Bracken_Joy

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4980 on: April 07, 2018, 01:19:54 PM »
The oldest daughter (11) is leaving tomorrow for a 9 day travel to a youth camp across the world. She has packed her national costume, traditional food from our country, and more than enough clothes. Still, there is plenty of room in her little carry on suitcase. I'm getting increasingly nervous, considering how much people normally pack for these types of journeys. Have we misunderstood something? Is there anything imporant she should pack that we are missing? Or do "normal" people for some reason carry a lot of unnecessary junk?

11? Nine days? ACROSS the WORLD? How are you not freaking out? And you say she's your oldest, so you can't just be inured by now from older children having left you. I can't bear it; how are you so strong and brave?
I work on a Marina with a dock my customer stand on a dock over the water, it is very common for mom's or pops to be screaming at their kids to "stay away from the water or "stand right here!".
 One day I had a young mother with a boy about 4yrs old, she let him walk up and down the dock, look into the water, about a 5 ft drop, without a word. I complimented her on letting her son explore, and added many mothers
are a little crazy when their kid is by the water. She responded "I'm from Colorado, we're a bit more laid back." :-)

She isn't lying. Have you driven there? I thought I was pretty steady about stuff, since I'm from rural-ish Oregon, and I've driven on my fair share of dirt and gravel mountain roads edged by a straight drop off. But dude. Dude. Colorado. We drove there during a storm once? The river was just RIGHT on the tiiiiiny white stripe, on this narrow ass road, with NO FUCKING GUARD RAIL AT ALL. Just churning river lapping on the road, no shoulder or barrier to speak of.

So I concluded, they're batshit insane there, and it's beautiful as hell, and it's probably the only other place I'd consider living long term other than PNW or N Cali.

gaja

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4981 on: April 07, 2018, 01:46:48 PM »
The oldest daughter (11) is leaving tomorrow for a 9 day travel to a youth camp across the world. She has packed her national costume, traditional food from our country, and more than enough clothes. Still, there is plenty of room in her little carry on suitcase. I'm getting increasingly nervous, considering how much people normally pack for these types of journeys. Have we misunderstood something? Is there anything imporant she should pack that we are missing? Or do "normal" people for some reason carry a lot of unnecessary junk?

11? Nine days? ACROSS the WORLD? How are you not freaking out? And you say she's your oldest, so you can't just be inured by now from older children having left you. I can't bear it; how are you so strong and brave?

Oh, Iím absolutely freaking out, but I try to do it inside my head so it doesnít hamper the kid. She is incredibly strong willed and independent, and it is so cool watching her grow up. She struggles with adapting to kids her own age in the normal school, and these types of activities allow her to blossom. Currently she is in Germany changing planes, and I have spent the last few hours driving around in the neighborhood, trying not to call to check whether she has found the gate, etc. She isnít alone, there is a youth leader escorting her. But that doesnít make it much easier, since he is a stranger, apeaking a language Iím not at all fluent in.

We might be viewed as rather laid back (some might say irresponsible) parents, but DH and I believe in treating everyone as human beings, and in raising capable adults. Sometimes it is very hard, like what we are doing now, or when he have to find good arguments rather than just saying ďdo what you are toldĒ. Other times it is much easier, like when the kids were able to dress themselves, pack their school lunches, and walk alone to school, several years before their peers. Of course there has to be a balance, they are kids, and we are responsible for taking care of them. We are also very strict about polite behavior, and treating others well. But they do have a say in how their life should be, so it they want to risk breaking a leg by falling down from a tall tree, or falling into the ocean, they should be allowed to do so. Broken legs and wet clothes are fixable.

Also, we are Norwegian. Kids are learning to handle knives and axes in kindergarten here. Wrapping kids in cotton isnít acceptable behavior.

Dollar Slice

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4982 on: April 07, 2018, 01:53:50 PM »
She isn't lying. Have you driven there? I thought I was pretty steady about stuff, since I'm from rural-ish Oregon, and I've driven on my fair share of dirt and gravel mountain roads edged by a straight drop off. But dude. Dude. Colorado. We drove there during a storm once? The river was just RIGHT on the tiiiiiny white stripe, on this narrow ass road, with NO FUCKING GUARD RAIL AT ALL.

Haha, yeah. I drove through the Rocky Mountain National Park, on what is supposed to be one of the highest roads in the continental US (maybe the highest?). I was driving (therefore on the side close to the center of the road) and paying very close attention, so I didn't appreciate the craziness of the road as much, but my friends were sitting on the right side of the car, where the steep drop-off was, and they were barely holding it together, sweating and clinging to the door handles... (I don't have any pics since I was driving, but see here for an example)

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4983 on: April 07, 2018, 02:07:12 PM »
She isn't lying. Have you driven there? I thought I was pretty steady about stuff, since I'm from rural-ish Oregon, and I've driven on my fair share of dirt and gravel mountain roads edged by a straight drop off. But dude. Dude. Colorado. We drove there during a storm once? The river was just RIGHT on the tiiiiiny white stripe, on this narrow ass road, with NO FUCKING GUARD RAIL AT ALL.

Haha, yeah. I drove through the Rocky Mountain National Park, on what is supposed to be one of the highest roads in the continental US (maybe the highest?). I was driving (therefore on the side close to the center of the road) and paying very close attention, so I didn't appreciate the craziness of the road as much, but my friends were sitting on the right side of the car, where the steep drop-off was, and they were barely holding it together, sweating and clinging to the door handles... (I don't have any pics since I was driving, but see here for an example)

For another exciting road, I recommend Going to the Sun Road in Montana. Intensely beautiful, a little scary at times, and with a chance of bears and mountain goats

Dollar Slice

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4984 on: April 07, 2018, 02:16:39 PM »
Haha, yeah. I drove through the Rocky Mountain National Park, on what is supposed to be one of the highest roads in the continental US (maybe the highest?). I was driving (therefore on the side close to the center of the road) and paying very close attention, so I didn't appreciate the craziness of the road as much, but my friends were sitting on the right side of the car, where the steep drop-off was, and they were barely holding it together, sweating and clinging to the door handles... (I don't have any pics since I was driving, but see here for an example)

For another exciting road, I recommend Going to the Sun Road in Montana. Intensely beautiful, a little scary at times, and with a chance of bears and mountain goats

I've been on that one, too! That's an amazing area... We saw lots of mountain goats but no bears.

Bracken_Joy

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4985 on: April 07, 2018, 02:24:19 PM »
Haha, yeah. I drove through the Rocky Mountain National Park, on what is supposed to be one of the highest roads in the continental US (maybe the highest?). I was driving (therefore on the side close to the center of the road) and paying very close attention, so I didn't appreciate the craziness of the road as much, but my friends were sitting on the right side of the car, where the steep drop-off was, and they were barely holding it together, sweating and clinging to the door handles... (I don't have any pics since I was driving, but see here for an example)

For another exciting road, I recommend Going to the Sun Road in Montana. Intensely beautiful, a little scary at times, and with a chance of bears and mountain goats

I've been on that one, too! That's an amazing area... We saw lots of mountain goats but no bears.

I've totally been on both of those! Haha, it's funny how many scary roads I've been on, for all that I'm not a big fan of heights or cars ;) But I am a fan of nature, and that apparently overrides all else...

Still, those roads are mild compared to the road to Hana on Maui. And that's mild compared to Baja. And I've been reassured that's very mild compared to many places in South America and China in particular.

So uh... guess I'm glad we have 2 lanes sometimes and occasional maintenance =)

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4986 on: April 07, 2018, 05:33:05 PM »
The oldest daughter (11) is leaving tomorrow for a 9 day travel to a youth camp across the world...... Or do "normal" people for some reason carry a lot of unnecessary junk?
......

Oh, Iím absolutely freaking out, but I try to do it inside my head ......

Also, we are Norwegian. Kids are learning to handle knives and axes in kindergarten here. Wrapping kids in cotton isnít acceptable behavior.

As an step grandparent, this is the most inspiring thing about parenting I've seen in a while. 

I've heard of and seen some aweful "helicopter parents". So glad that there is some counterbalance.

and yes most people overpack -self included.

Zaga

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4987 on: April 07, 2018, 05:37:42 PM »
Haha, yeah. I drove through the Rocky Mountain National Park, on what is supposed to be one of the highest roads in the continental US (maybe the highest?). I was driving (therefore on the side close to the center of the road) and paying very close attention, so I didn't appreciate the craziness of the road as much, but my friends were sitting on the right side of the car, where the steep drop-off was, and they were barely holding it together, sweating and clinging to the door handles... (I don't have any pics since I was driving, but see here for an example)

For another exciting road, I recommend Going to the Sun Road in Montana. Intensely beautiful, a little scary at times, and with a chance of bears and mountain goats

I've been on that one, too! That's an amazing area... We saw lots of mountain goats but no bears.

I've totally been on both of those! Haha, it's funny how many scary roads I've been on, for all that I'm not a big fan of heights or cars ;) But I am a fan of nature, and that apparently overrides all else...

Still, those roads are mild compared to the road to Hana on Maui. And that's mild compared to Baja. And I've been reassured that's very mild compared to many places in South America and China in particular.

So uh... guess I'm glad we have 2 lanes sometimes and occasional maintenance =)
When I was 13 my family visited Colombia, and driving between the coast and Bogota there was this road *shudder*.  It was a saddle between two mountains, with a sheer drop off to both sides, with no guardrail.  Totally terrifying!

markbike528CBX

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4988 on: April 07, 2018, 09:56:57 PM »
She isn't lying. Have you driven there? I thought I was pretty steady about stuff, since I'm from rural-ish Oregon, and I've driven on my fair share of dirt and gravel mountain roads edged by a straight drop off. But dude. Dude. Colorado. We drove there during a storm once? The river was just RIGHT on the tiiiiiny white stripe, on this narrow ass road, with NO FUCKING GUARD RAIL AT ALL.

Haha, yeah. I drove through the Rocky Mountain National Park, on what is supposed to be one of the highest roads in the continental US (maybe the highest?). I was driving (therefore on the side close to the center of the road) and paying very close attention, so I didn't appreciate the craziness of the road as much, but my friends were sitting on the right side of the car, where the steep drop-off was, and they were barely holding it together, sweating and clinging to the door handles... (I don't have any pics since I was driving, but see here for an example)

For another exciting road, I recommend Going to the Sun Road in Montana. Intensely beautiful, a little scary at times, and with a chance of bears and mountain goats

While not very scary, but awfully distracting ( Ooooooh look at the whales, sea otters etc etc), the road from the guard shack to Diablo Canyon nuclear power plant , 6 miles or so, is a beautiful look at undeveloped California coastline.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4989 on: April 08, 2018, 04:20:34 AM »
We might be viewed as rather laid back (some might say irresponsible) parents, but DH and I believe in treating everyone as human beings, and in raising capable adults. Sometimes it is very hard, like what we are doing now, or when he have to find good arguments rather than just saying ďdo what you are toldĒ.

We just got a call from the principal.  Our seven-year-old daughter organized a rebellion in her gym class because the teacher wanted them to play kickball and she thought it was a dumb game.

I had to try to tactfully explain that our household values critical thinking over blind obedience. We want the children to question the rationale behind our decisions. When they make a particular good rebuttal, we find a good compromise rather than sticking with the original plan.

Seems like first grade teachers aren't used to needing to justify themselves. ^_^

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4990 on: April 08, 2018, 04:56:41 AM »
If you were trying to teach a class of 25 kids and one kid started acting up and refusing to go with the flow. It is disruptive, not a rebuttal. They are in school to learn and the teacher doesn't have time to please one kid because she/he is having a hissy fit. I see no problem with the kid asking if they can do something else but the teacher isn't there as a recess attendant. They have a specific reason they are teaching a certain thing. Kids need to learn to obey authority.

My Father told me when he went to Catholic school he did something wrong and the teacher paddled him. He went home and told his parents and his Father paddled him again for not obeying the nun. This was in the 1930's.

Not that I agree with paddling kids in school. My point is kids are in school to learn, not to change the teachers agenda. Rebuttal is fine at home but teachers are too busy to please one kid that doesn't happen to like kickball. I hated everything about gym in my day and if it was up to me I just wouldn't have gone at all. I don't think that would have worked for me!

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4991 on: April 08, 2018, 05:12:56 AM »
There's a difference between a rebellion and a rebuttal, and between critical thinking and throwing a hissy fit. I think good parenting teaches children how to approach interpersonal conflict productively. For example, sitting down in the middle of the playing field with your arms crossed refusing to move because you think PE is stupid is not critical thinking. Approaching the teacher privately and asking if you could do X next time instead of Y because ABC is much more helpful. It's all about balance and teaching children not just to question things but HOW to question them.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4992 on: April 08, 2018, 08:34:57 AM »
Finally, finally convinced DH that we could get rid of a large stack of coffee-table-style books we never look at and which were all gifts. I'm all giddy, bag them up, take heavy stack to our library for their upcoming fund-raising booksale. Sign on door: "We are temporarily not accepting book donations in anticipation of the booksale. We will resume accepting donations on April 23."

Stands in front of library reading sign. Sighs. Takes books back home. I must hide the books in case DH sees them and reconsiders letting go. Or maybe I'll just put them out front in a box and announce on Next Door. They are too large to fit in the Little Free Library boxes around the neighborhood. I suppose I could try to sell them, but wow, so much time spent on things I never wanted in the first place.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4993 on: April 08, 2018, 08:40:26 AM »
Finally, finally convinced DH that we could get rid of a large stack of coffee-table-style books we never look at and which were all gifts. I'm all giddy, bag them up, take heavy stack to our library for their upcoming fund-raising booksale. Sign on door: "We are temporarily not accepting book donations in anticipation of the booksale. We will resume accepting donations on April 23."

Stands in front of library reading sign. Sighs. Takes books back home. I must hide the books in case DH sees them and reconsiders letting go. Or maybe I'll just put them out front in a box and announce on Next Door. They are too large to fit in the Little Free Library boxes around the neighborhood. I suppose I could try to sell them, but wow, so much time spent on things I never wanted in the first place.

Buy Nothing Project? Either that or you can knock on the door of someone who has a free little library, and they can keep the overflow in their house?

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4994 on: April 08, 2018, 08:45:06 AM »
Buy Nothing Project? Either that or you can knock on the door of someone who has a free little library, and they can keep the overflow in their house?

Thanks, yeah, lots of solutions at hand. I was just laughing at how much time I am expending on getting rid of something and thought of this thread. I mean I could just toss the books in the recyling bin, but that's not optimal. It's evidence that I have way too much time as a FIRE person. Mustachian people problem.

Bracken_Joy

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4995 on: April 08, 2018, 08:47:53 AM »
Buy Nothing Project? Either that or you can knock on the door of someone who has a free little library, and they can keep the overflow in their house?

Thanks, yeah, lots of solutions at hand. I was just laughing at how much time I am expending on getting rid of something and thought of this thread. I mean I could just toss the books in the recyling bin, but that's not optimal. It's evidence that I have way too much time as a FIRE person. Mustachian people problem.

Haha, sorry, I did the cardinal sin of this thread and tried to SOLVE something instead of chuckling and moving on!

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4996 on: April 08, 2018, 09:46:37 AM »
Take them to Goodwill and donate them! Get them out of sight. Charity is charity whether the library or Goodwill. I just had the Vietnam Vets do a giant pick up here. 13 giant garbage bags of household stuff and clothes. Bagged, tagged and out the door! I just donated a boatload of books to a small culinary school they were all culinary and other cookbooks. They were thrilled...me too to get rid of them!

Dicey

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4997 on: April 08, 2018, 02:44:43 PM »
Finally, finally convinced DH that we could get rid of a large stack of coffee-table-style books we never look at and which were all gifts. I'm all giddy, bag them up, take heavy stack to our library for their upcoming fund-raising booksale. Sign on door: "We are temporarily not accepting book donations in anticipation of the booksale. We will resume accepting donations on April 23."

Stands in front of library reading sign. Sighs. Takes books back home. I must hide the books in case DH sees them and reconsiders letting go. Or maybe I'll just put them out front in a box and announce on Next Door. They are too large to fit in the Little Free Library boxes around the neighborhood. I suppose I could try to sell them, but wow, so much time spent on things I never wanted in the first place.
If you volunteered at the library, they'd have taken your books anyway. Also, you get first pick of the books that are going into the sale. Not that I speak from experience or anything. I've been doing this so long, I have the keys to the storage shed and the cashbox. Hint: They can always, always use more help setting up/taking down the book sales. In my group, if you help with take down, you can have anything you want, free of charge. But you have to get there early and choose quickly, because we move fast on takedown morning.

Either that or you can knock on the door of someone who has a free little library, and they can keep the overflow in their house?
Key word: little. Coffee table books usually don't fit.

Finally, @Basenji, bless you for reading the sign and not dumping your books beneath it. Library volunteers everywhere thank you and wish there were more like you.

P.S. Yesterday, we packed up and picked up a truckload of books from a friend who's clearing out his parents house. I was thinking that sale set-up started today, so we could drop them off directly. Erp, set-up is next week. We could still drop them off, but that's a wasted trip across town. Sigh, we'll just leave the boxes in the truck (it has a shell) until next week. Fortunately,  DH walks to work, so the truck can just sit, low-riding in the driveway, mocking me for being an idiot.

Basenji

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4998 on: April 08, 2018, 02:48:48 PM »
If you volunteered at the library, they'd have taken your books anyway. Also, you get first pick of the books that are going into the sale. Not that I speak from experience or anything. I've been doing this so long, I have the keys to the storage shed and the cashbox.
Volunteering at the library is on my list of activities to try out. Thanks for the reminder.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #4999 on: April 08, 2018, 02:53:25 PM »
I just donated a boatload of books to a small culinary school they were all culinary and other cookbooks.
That's a good idea (donating specific-subject books to a school), but you will pry my cookbooks from my cold, dead (covered in some sticky sauce) hands. ; )