Author Topic: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)  (Read 4551168 times)

TomTX

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9500 on: November 03, 2022, 05:50:36 PM »
I have a question related to the increases that are available once you turn 50 in 401(k) plans. So, my husband does a 403B and also has an individual Roth 401(k). It’s my understanding that the catch-up provisions theoretically allow him to put 30k total in each account. This is also my understanding that employer contributions in the 403B count towards the 61K cap. 457 contributions, which also have a catch-up provision, do not count towards the 61K cap.

 I’ve emailed our accountant, but he has not gotten back to us. Anyone care to weigh in?
IIRC 401k and 403B share the same cap. Contributions to either count toward the cap.
457 has its own entirely separate cap, unaffected by other contributions.

jinga nation

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9501 on: November 04, 2022, 06:35:13 AM »
i keep finding extra days/hours to take time off, so the problem is deciding when to. this is doubly weird because I don't work more than 8H/day.

I'm already off for Thanksgiving week and the last 10 days of December. Decided to take additional days off, got them "approved" (technically, just informing my team and manager that I will not be working).
Last night, while running the numbers, found there's 2 additional days to take off. Planned a day off for some home renovation work, and now have 8H left - thinking of 2 half days for longer distance bike rides in the cooler weather.

(i work for a professional consultancy on long term contracts, so have to hit minimum billable hours for the year, any time after that I can take time off or work. last year i worked 0.5H over minimum and took ~5.5 weeks off. The goal this year is to be right on the mark.)

Alfred J Quack

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9502 on: November 05, 2022, 06:11:12 AM »
IMO this isn't a time to gloat because we are MMMrs and have had time and enough knowledge to bolster our defenses and feather our financial nests.
I heartily agree with this. I've checked with family whether the general compensation everyone gets (thanks government) is enough to get them through the winter. My mom still has a long-term contract and my syster is doing OK, I still haven't spoken to my brother who I think is the one that'll be in trouble financially. If he needs it, I'll transfer  it to him.


ricelife

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9503 on: November 15, 2022, 06:43:18 PM »
new to the thread and didn't read previous replies!

But here's my most recent story:
Payroll forgot to pay one of my weeks of pay since I just came back from maternity leave (so basically was living off the government cheque for the past 18 months). They were panicked that I needed the money so they sent a wire out to my bank. Bank doesn't accept wires so they are calling me asking where they can wire the money too.
I'm too lazy so I told them to add it to my next paycheque

solon

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9504 on: November 15, 2022, 07:59:42 PM »
new to the thread and didn't read previous replies!

But here's my most recent story:
Payroll forgot to pay one of my weeks of pay since I just came back from maternity leave (so basically was living off the government cheque for the past 18 months). They were panicked that I needed the money so they sent a wire out to my bank. Bank doesn't accept wires so they are calling me asking where they can wire the money too.
I'm too lazy so I told them to add it to my next paycheque


solon

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9505 on: November 15, 2022, 08:00:57 PM »
Here's mine:

I'm the payroll administrator at a small company. I run payroll every other Monday, and pay day is four days later on Thursday. When I do the Monday payroll, I always sneak a peek at my own pay stub. I feel a little guilty because it feels like I have inside information. I can see my pay stub four days before any one else.

When I ran payroll on Monday of this week and looked at my pay stub, it wasn't right. The amount of of my 401k contribution was significantly lower than it should have been. I checked the settings and nothing had changed, our payroll processor just wasn't withholding enough. So I figured it must be a back-end error in their system. I called and emailed, they were baffled. It took two people two days to find the problem. The problem was that I hit the max of $20.5k and so the system cut me off. But I'm 50+, so my limit should have been $27k. This was the first time they had seen that problem.

Dicey

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9506 on: November 15, 2022, 09:16:42 PM »
Here's mine:

I'm the payroll administrator at a small company. I run payroll every other Monday, and pay day is four days later on Thursday. When I do the Monday payroll, I always sneak a peek at my own pay stub. I feel a little guilty because it feels like I have inside information. I can see my pay stub four days before any one else.

When I ran payroll on Monday of this week and looked at my pay stub, it wasn't right. The amount of of my 401k contribution was significantly lower than it should have been. I checked the settings and nothing had changed, our payroll processor just wasn't withholding enough. So I figured it must be a back-end error in their system. I called and emailed, they were baffled. It took two people two days to find the problem. The problem was that I hit the max of $20.5k and so the system cut me off. But I'm 50+, so my limit should have been $27k. This was the first time they had seen that problem.
Wow, nice catch!

ChpBstrd

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9507 on: November 15, 2022, 09:18:07 PM »
Here's mine:

I'm the payroll administrator at a small company. I run payroll every other Monday, and pay day is four days later on Thursday. When I do the Monday payroll, I always sneak a peek at my own pay stub. I feel a little guilty because it feels like I have inside information. I can see my pay stub four days before any one else.

When I ran payroll on Monday of this week and looked at my pay stub, it wasn't right. The amount of of my 401k contribution was significantly lower than it should have been. I checked the settings and nothing had changed, our payroll processor just wasn't withholding enough. So I figured it must be a back-end error in their system. I called and emailed, they were baffled. It took two people two days to find the problem. The problem was that I hit the max of $20.5k and so the system cut me off. But I'm 50+, so my limit should have been $27k. This was the first time they had seen that problem.
Wow, nice catch!
It's just so sad that it never happened before.

Alternatepriorities

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9508 on: November 17, 2022, 11:30:56 AM »
Here's mine:

I'm the payroll administrator at a small company. I run payroll every other Monday, and pay day is four days later on Thursday. When I do the Monday payroll, I always sneak a peek at my own pay stub. I feel a little guilty because it feels like I have inside information. I can see my pay stub four days before any one else.

When I ran payroll on Monday of this week and looked at my pay stub, it wasn't right. The amount of of my 401k contribution was significantly lower than it should have been. I checked the settings and nothing had changed, our payroll processor just wasn't withholding enough. So I figured it must be a back-end error in their system. I called and emailed, they were baffled. It took two people two days to find the problem. The problem was that I hit the max of $20.5k and so the system cut me off. But I'm 50+, so my limit should have been $27k. This was the first time they had seen that problem.

This is a perfect MPP!

TomTX

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9509 on: November 17, 2022, 03:43:26 PM »
When I ran payroll on Monday of this week and looked at my pay stub, it wasn't right. The amount of of my 401k contribution was significantly lower than it should have been. I checked the settings and nothing had changed, our payroll processor just wasn't withholding enough. So I figured it must be a back-end error in their system. I called and emailed, they were baffled. It took two people two days to find the problem. The problem was that I hit the max of $20.5k and so the system cut me off. But I'm 50+, so my limit should have been $27k. This was the first time they had seen that problem.
Since I hit 50 next year, I pinged our 401/457 administrator about this very issue. They claim it will be handled automagically. We shall see.

DeniseNJ

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9510 on: November 18, 2022, 07:22:30 AM »
Since I hit 50 next year, I pinged our 401/457 administrator about this very issue. They claim it will be handled automagically. We shall see.
That's my new favorite word!
« Last Edit: November 18, 2022, 12:51:16 PM by DeniseNJ »

jinga nation

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9511 on: November 18, 2022, 12:23:16 PM »
Here's mine:

I'm the payroll administrator at a small company. I run payroll every other Monday, and pay day is four days later on Thursday. When I do the Monday payroll, I always sneak a peek at my own pay stub. I feel a little guilty because it feels like I have inside information. I can see my pay stub four days before any one else.

When I ran payroll on Monday of this week and looked at my pay stub, it wasn't right. The amount of of my 401k contribution was significantly lower than it should have been. I checked the settings and nothing had changed, our payroll processor just wasn't withholding enough. So I figured it must be a back-end error in their system. I called and emailed, they were baffled. It took two people two days to find the problem. The problem was that I hit the max of $20.5k and so the system cut me off. But I'm 50+, so my limit should have been $27k. This was the first time they had seen that problem.

feature/change wasn't tested before? use case testing doesn't happen at the software vendor?
or do they believe in "we test in production"?

ixtap

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9512 on: November 18, 2022, 12:25:36 PM »
Here's mine:

I'm the payroll administrator at a small company. I run payroll every other Monday, and pay day is four days later on Thursday. When I do the Monday payroll, I always sneak a peek at my own pay stub. I feel a little guilty because it feels like I have inside information. I can see my pay stub four days before any one else.

When I ran payroll on Monday of this week and looked at my pay stub, it wasn't right. The amount of of my 401k contribution was significantly lower than it should have been. I checked the settings and nothing had changed, our payroll processor just wasn't withholding enough. So I figured it must be a back-end error in their system. I called and emailed, they were baffled. It took two people two days to find the problem. The problem was that I hit the max of $20.5k and so the system cut me off. But I'm 50+, so my limit should have been $27k. This was the first time they had seen that problem.

feature/change wasn't tested before? use case testing doesn't happen at the software vendor?
or do they believe in "we test in production"?

Folks run into this frequently both here and bogleheads. I suspect that the vendor doesn't see it often enough to bother updating their code from a manual switch.

dcheesi

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9513 on: November 18, 2022, 01:46:13 PM »
Here's mine:

I'm the payroll administrator at a small company. I run payroll every other Monday, and pay day is four days later on Thursday. When I do the Monday payroll, I always sneak a peek at my own pay stub. I feel a little guilty because it feels like I have inside information. I can see my pay stub four days before any one else.

When I ran payroll on Monday of this week and looked at my pay stub, it wasn't right. The amount of of my 401k contribution was significantly lower than it should have been. I checked the settings and nothing had changed, our payroll processor just wasn't withholding enough. So I figured it must be a back-end error in their system. I called and emailed, they were baffled. It took two people two days to find the problem. The problem was that I hit the max of $20.5k and so the system cut me off. But I'm 50+, so my limit should have been $27k. This was the first time they had seen that problem.

feature/change wasn't tested before? use case testing doesn't happen at the software vendor?
or do they believe in "we test in production"?

Folks run into this frequently both here and bogleheads. I suspect that the vendor doesn't see it often enough to bother updating their code from a manual switch.
Could even be argued to be a safety "feature"; no risk of bad data triggering an automatic switch, leading to excess contributions that then have to be walked back. Safer to wait until an employee requests/complains, and then manually verify their elligibility.

Goldielocks

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9514 on: November 24, 2022, 05:06:07 PM »
Okay, I have one, a pet peeve, if you will.

This thanksgiving, (Im Canadian, so it is 1 month ago) for the first time, I was confronted by the "tupperware" request.   Yes, someone brought tupperware to thanksgiving and expected me to fill it with "leftovers".

I worked GD hard to make my house ready and to prepare a 10 dish meal for 15 people.  I did not ask anyone to bring anything, but was gifted an appetizer (my sister) and a bottle of wine (my parents).  (Thank-you! So nice!)

I rely on the extra food after the big meal to keep me fed for the next 2+ weeks.  ( I am single).  I own a freezer.   No, I do not want to make my food disappear from my house.   It was EXPENSIVE to serve your ass.   I am FIRED and living on $300 a month food budget., and 35% of it went to hosting that meal.

Of course, this request came from my new roommate's ex (mom of his kid), who declined the invite (invited because they co parent closely and I thought she would like thanksgiving with her kid, too), but asked her ex (my roommate) to fill up her tupperware.   She is 47 years old.   She has a job that pays more than double what my job pays.     She was the first one to do this, and she did not even show up to provide guest conversations.  I AM NOT A FREE TAKE OUT SERVICE. In the past, I have volunteered to plate some take away food (using cheap foil pie plates I have for that purpose) for the living alone broke college students (my nephews who were there), but that was 100% my choice, and a gift.

I don't think she has EVER hosted a large meal in her life.   Seems like HUGE MASSIVE ENTITLEMENT. 

Anyone else get these requests?   Does it drive you bonkers, too?

ARGHHHHHAHTHTAHFHGHGHGHTTHA!!!!!!

AMandM

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9515 on: November 24, 2022, 05:48:23 PM »
Ha, just today at our American Thanksgiving dinner, there was discussion of a NYT article that listed the three things a good guest should bring to Thanksgiving at someone else's house. One was your own Tupperwares to take leftovers home.

However, I didn't read the article. It may have said that the tupperwares are only to be used if the host offers leftovers.

Freedomin5

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9516 on: November 24, 2022, 06:23:40 PM »
Okay, I have one, a pet peeve, if you will.

This thanksgiving, (Im Canadian, so it is 1 month ago) for the first time, I was confronted by the "tupperware" request.   Yes, someone brought tupperware to thanksgiving and expected me to fill it with "leftovers".

I worked GD hard to make my house ready and to prepare a 10 dish meal for 15 people.  I did not ask anyone to bring anything, but was gifted an appetizer (my sister) and a bottle of wine (my parents).  (Thank-you! So nice!)

I rely on the extra food after the big meal to keep me fed for the next 2+ weeks.  ( I am single).  I own a freezer.   No, I do not want to make my food disappear from my house.   It was EXPENSIVE to serve your ass.   I am FIRED and living on $300 a month food budget., and 35% of it went to hosting that meal.

Of course, this request came from my new roommate's ex (mom of his kid), who declined the invite (invited because they co parent closely and I thought she would like thanksgiving with her kid, too), but asked her ex (my roommate) to fill up her tupperware.   She is 47 years old.   She has a job that pays more than double what my job pays.     She was the first one to do this, and she did not even show up to provide guest conversations.  I AM NOT A FREE TAKE OUT SERVICE. In the past, I have volunteered to plate some take away food (using cheap foil pie plates I have for that purpose) for the living alone broke college students (my nephews who were there), but that was 100% my choice, and a gift.

I don't think she has EVER hosted a large meal in her life.   Seems like HUGE MASSIVE ENTITLEMENT. 

Anyone else get these requests?   Does it drive you bonkers, too?

ARGHHHHHAHTHTAHFHGHGHGHTTHA!!!!!!

Wait...you were asked to provide a take-out meal to someone who did not even attend your dinner?!?!  [FACEPALM]

That would be like my friend hosting a birthday party at a restaurant, me declining the invitation but asking my friend to order me a meal and doggie bag it for me.

I...can't...even...

Well, now we know why she's your roommate's EX.

Goldielocks

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9517 on: November 24, 2022, 06:36:56 PM »
Ha, just today at our American Thanksgiving dinner, there was discussion of a NYT article that listed the three things a good guest should bring to Thanksgiving at someone else's house. One was your own Tupperwares to take leftovers home.

However, I didn't read the article. It may have said that the tupperwares are only to be used if the host offers leftovers.
Ha!!

I saw a 4 minute clip from "the view" (or whatever that Whoopi G. talk show is) discussing this article today.  It's what prompted this forum post.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXsfQ6GLSNo

The two people who were in favour of the tupperware had these rationales for it.
1)  "There is so much food, Why do you want to waste it?"
UMMM.......  why do people throw away yummy leftovers?  That person had zero idea that people actually eat leftovers, I think?

2. Something about only bringing tupperware if it is someone you know, because stealing someone's tupperware after dinner (or plate) and never giving it back is worse.
The key message is that "There is no downside to Thanksgiving.... it's FREE. Let's be thankful that we have friends who are willing to feed us... for FREE".   WHAT?!!???

How does someone actually believe this? 

My thought is that there are a great number of grown ass adults (think parents who are 35+) who can afford to host or co-host, yet NEVER have taken that over, assume that it is free, or always their right somehow?  *

*I get that not everyone has space, but many people have the funds to help co-host with another, yet never think to do that.


Taran Wanderer

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9518 on: November 24, 2022, 07:28:04 PM »
We hosted Thanksgiving. We sent some leftovers home. We even gave away the containers for it. Of course they were randoms and old food containers that were cluttering up our Tupperware drawer. We’d never give away the good Tupperware!

Oh, also, while we hosted, it was a family effort - DM had a frozen Turkey, DW cooked it, MIL and grandkids baked pies, etc… so only fair to share the leftovers after as well.

Dicey

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9519 on: November 24, 2022, 09:23:29 PM »
We had two guests for dinner. I sent them both home with to-gos, but man, it was hard to give up those yummy leftovers. In a fun mustachian note, I grabbed some old covered plate type take-out packaging from a dusty cupboard in the garage. One of them was from Cheesecake Factory. Hmmm, we took a guest there in 2015 2014 and used a gifted gift card! I have no idea when the other was acquired and yes, I washed them before filling them with leftovers. Neither person asked, but I wanted to be generous.

OTOH, we had two Costco pies for five people, so shipping some of that off with others was probably a good self-defense move.

Related: One of the guests was asked to bring ice cream, but apparently forgot. Fortunately, I had just enough left in the freezer. It's not normally something I keep on hand. ETA: lol, MPP indeed! Apparently, guest did bring the requested ice cream. DH intercepted it when our guest arrived and it went into the garage freezer, which is why I never saw it. Of course, neither thought to mention it.
« Last Edit: November 24, 2022, 11:46:51 PM by Dicey »

LennStar

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9520 on: November 25, 2022, 03:00:48 AM »
I rely on the extra food after the big meal to keep me fed for the next 2+ weeks.  ( I am single).  I own a freezer.   No, I do not want to make my food disappear from my house.   It was EXPENSIVE to serve your ass.   I am FIRED and living on $300 a month food budget., and 35% of it went to hosting that meal.

Of course, this request came from my new roommate's ex (mom of his kid), who declined the invite (invited because they co parent closely and I thought she would like thanksgiving with her kid, too), but asked her ex (my roommate) to fill up her tupperware.   She is 47 years old.   She has a job that pays more than double what my job pays. 

Wow!

At our family events the attendees genereally try to stuff themselves as much as they can. And of course there are still leftovers. But those are for the hosting family as a matter of course and we work out depending on the amount who get's to eat the next 1 or 2 days off it. Tuppering does nearly never happen and then only if the hosts say they don't want it. I mean most things don't taste that appetizing the 3rd or even 4th time you warm them up anyway, so people don't fight over it.

PMG

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9521 on: November 25, 2022, 03:48:46 AM »
When my grandparents hosted holiday dinners they intentionally prepared excess (and guests brought sides with excess) so that everyone could take some leftovers home. Grandma used to bake a pumpkin pie for each family to take home. Grandma provided takeout containers. Now my brother hosts and preps the meat while the rest of the family brings the sides and there is less excess so less to go home but usually enough for a person to get a bit of their favorite dish. I usually stay out of it. It’s always felt a bit vulture-y to me. I asked my hosting brother yesterday how he felt about it and he was grateful because it meant less clean up work for him. He and his wife fixed up a couple “microwave dinners” and let everyone else empty things.

ETA. Gifting food is my grandma’s love language (not always a healthy one). She lead the meal trains at church and was the first to show up with food. She was also a very practical cook and likely to show up with a quart of hot soup and 3 freezer meals. She coupon shopped and kept a large pantry. She always sent us home from visits with food. When we were kids it was a paper goodie bag with peanuts, a juice box, a stick of gum and a piece of candy.  As adults it was a pound of butter, and triple coupon tomato soup. Seeing people taking leftovers home was very satisfying for her. My dear brother who hosts now bought her home… and inherited A family that feels very comfortable helping themselves. He said yesterday that his motto is “Where family is not all welcome, but never turned away.” Hah.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2022, 03:55:59 AM by PMG »

sonofsven

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9522 on: November 25, 2022, 08:32:51 AM »
We had two guests for dinner. I sent them both home with to-gos, but man, it was hard to give up those yummy leftovers. In a fun mustachian note, I grabbed some old covered plate type take-out packaging from a dusty cupboard in the garage. One of them was from Cheesecake Factory. Hmmm, we took a guest there in 2015 2014 and used a gifted gift card! I have no idea when the other was acquired and yes, I washed them before filling them with leftovers. Neither person asked, but I wanted to be generous.

OTOH, we had two Costco pies for five people, so shipping some of that off with others was probably a good self-defense move.

Related: One of the guests was asked to bring ice cream, but apparently forgot. Fortunately, I had just enough left in the freezer. It's not normally something I keep on hand. ETA: lol, MPP indeed! Apparently, guest did bring the requested ice cream. DH intercepted it when our guest arrived and it went into the garage freezer, which is why I never saw it. Of course, neither thought to mention it.

ixtap

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9523 on: November 25, 2022, 09:00:02 AM »
I feel like takeaways are appropriate for potlucks, as long as it is mostly an even distribution of the leftovers. I'll take some of your turkey, you can take some of my dressing.

My brother and SIL always just assumed and never asked and usually ended up taking almost everything home. And people generally just assumed they were that needy because of all the kids, never mind that he had the highest salary of anyone in their social group and particularly within our family.

Catbert

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9524 on: November 25, 2022, 10:43:50 AM »
Okay, I have one, a pet peeve, if you will.

This thanksgiving, (Im Canadian, so it is 1 month ago) for the first time, I was confronted by the "tupperware" request.   Yes, someone brought tupperware to thanksgiving and expected me to fill it with "leftovers".

I worked GD hard to make my house ready and to prepare a 10 dish meal for 15 people.  I did not ask anyone to bring anything, but was gifted an appetizer (my sister) and a bottle of wine (my parents).  (Thank-you! So nice!)

I rely on the extra food after the big meal to keep me fed for the next 2+ weeks.  ( I am single).  I own a freezer.   No, I do not want to make my food disappear from my house.   It was EXPENSIVE to serve your ass.   I am FIRED and living on $300 a month food budget., and 35% of it went to hosting that meal.

Of course, this request came from my new roommate's ex (mom of his kid), who declined the invite (invited because they co parent closely and I thought she would like thanksgiving with her kid, too), but asked her ex (my roommate) to fill up her tupperware.   She is 47 years old.   She has a job that pays more than double what my job pays.     She was the first one to do this, and she did not even show up to provide guest conversations.  I AM NOT A FREE TAKE OUT SERVICE. In the past, I have volunteered to plate some take away food (using cheap foil pie plates I have for that purpose) for the living alone broke college students (my nephews who were there), but that was 100% my choice, and a gift.

I don't think she has EVER hosted a large meal in her life.   Seems like HUGE MASSIVE ENTITLEMENT. 

Anyone else get these requests?   Does it drive you bonkers, too?

ARGHHHHHAHTHTAHFHGHGHGHTTHA!!!!!!

Please just confirm that you just looked at your roommate like they had two heads and walked away.  Never be guilted into giving your leftovers away.  As you can see different families have different traditions - but nobody's tradition involved near strangers demanding and getting food from an event they didn't even attend.

Goldielocks

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9525 on: November 25, 2022, 12:05:33 PM »
Okay, I have one, a pet peeve, if you will.

This thanksgiving, (Im Canadian, so it is 1 month ago) for the first time, I was confronted by the "tupperware" request.   Yes, someone brought tupperware to thanksgiving and expected me to fill it with "leftovers".

I worked GD hard to make my house ready and to prepare a 10 dish meal for 15 people.  I did not ask anyone to bring anything, but was gifted an appetizer (my sister) and a bottle of wine (my parents).  (Thank-you! So nice!)

I rely on the extra food after the big meal to keep me fed for the next 2+ weeks.  ( I am single).  I own a freezer.   No, I do not want to make my food disappear from my house.   It was EXPENSIVE to serve your ass.   I am FIRED and living on $300 a month food budget., and 35% of it went to hosting that meal.

Of course, this request came from my new roommate's ex (mom of his kid), who declined the invite (invited because they co parent closely and I thought she would like thanksgiving with her kid, too), but asked her ex (my roommate) to fill up her tupperware.   She is 47 years old.   She has a job that pays more than double what my job pays.     She was the first one to do this, and she did not even show up to provide guest conversations.  I AM NOT A FREE TAKE OUT SERVICE. In the past, I have volunteered to plate some take away food (using cheap foil pie plates I have for that purpose) for the living alone broke college students (my nephews who were there), but that was 100% my choice, and a gift.

I don't think she has EVER hosted a large meal in her life.   Seems like HUGE MASSIVE ENTITLEMENT. 

Anyone else get these requests?   Does it drive you bonkers, too?

ARGHHHHHAHTHTAHFHGHGHGHTTHA!!!!!!

Please just confirm that you just looked at your roommate like they had two heads and walked away.  Never be guilted into giving your leftovers away.  As you can see different families have different traditions - but nobody's tradition involved near strangers demanding and getting food from an event they didn't even attend.
Nope.  Just picked up my jaw off the floor.  It was my room mate who made the awkward ask and acknowledged that the leftover takeaway tradition was different in his family.    I just filled it with a normal amount, as he is a pretty good room mate and I don't want to make things harder for him with his ex (they co parent).

AND....  Karma is a BTCH because I just accidentally backed into her car last night.  To be fair, it was dark, and it was my very long driveway - she was at the end not right behind --  and its my parking spot that only I park there.... so I wasn't expecting it.  She was dropping off their son.

So, I have a huge indent in my corner of bumper plastic, CRAP!, she also has a few scratches that I get to pay for.  Hopefully no dents.  She was nice about it, although it will be a hassle to go get it buffed out / touched up.

Turtle

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9526 on: November 25, 2022, 12:27:21 PM »
I feel like takeaways are appropriate for potlucks, as long as it is mostly an even distribution of the leftovers. I'll take some of your turkey, you can take some of my dressing.

My brother and SIL always just assumed and never asked and usually ended up taking almost everything home. And people generally just assumed they were that needy because of all the kids, never mind that he had the highest salary of anyone in their social group and particularly within our family.

Trades of leftovers are much different from bringing nothing / almost nothing and expecting to walk away with leftovers.  Sometimes there might be a side that some of the extended family doesn't care for so it is split differently, but in my family it was usually everyone who brought food took a different combo of leftovers home than what they had brought in the first place.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9527 on: November 28, 2022, 06:05:10 AM »
I went to my friends' house for Thanksgiving this year.  They didn't want the dark meat nor the bones!  I got to take the best parts of the bird.  I made 6 quarts of stock and got 4 meals out of the meat. 

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9528 on: November 28, 2022, 06:48:38 AM »
I went to my friends' house for Thanksgiving this year.  They didn't want the dark meat nor the bones!  I got to take the best parts of the bird.  I made 6 quarts of stock and got 4 meals out of the meat.
White turkey meat tastes like dry cardboard. Give me the juicy deep flavor of the dark meat any day.

GuitarStv

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9529 on: November 28, 2022, 07:44:29 AM »
I went to my friends' house for Thanksgiving this year.  They didn't want the dark meat nor the bones!  I got to take the best parts of the bird.  I made 6 quarts of stock and got 4 meals out of the meat.
White turkey meat tastes like dry cardboard. Give me the juicy deep flavor of the dark meat any day.

This is true if the turkey is overcooked.  Properly made however, white turkey meat tastes great and is juicy.

Still not a writeoff even if that happens though . . . the white meat goes great in stews and casseroles that add back in some of the moisture lost due to overcooking.

ixtap

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9530 on: November 28, 2022, 07:54:10 AM »
I went to my friends' house for Thanksgiving this year.  They didn't want the dark meat nor the bones!  I got to take the best parts of the bird.  I made 6 quarts of stock and got 4 meals out of the meat.
White turkey meat tastes like dry cardboard. Give me the juicy deep flavor of the dark meat any day.

I am so sorry you have never been offered a properly cooked turkey!

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9531 on: November 28, 2022, 08:11:40 AM »
I went to my friends' house for Thanksgiving this year.  They didn't want the dark meat nor the bones!  I got to take the best parts of the bird.  I made 6 quarts of stock and got 4 meals out of the meat.
White turkey meat tastes like dry cardboard. Give me the juicy deep flavor of the dark meat any day.

This is true if the turkey is overcooked.  Properly made however, white turkey meat tastes great and is juicy.

Still not a writeoff even if that happens though . . . the white meat goes great in stews and casseroles that add back in some of the moisture lost due to overcooking.

You know all the stories of people who thought they hated <insert food> growing up, and it turned out that their parent was just a bad cook? Yeah. If your turkey is dry and tasteless, then you cooked it badly. I don't do anything with basting, marinating, etc and my turkey is always juicy - because I don't overcook it.

My 17lb turkey cooked in 3.25 hours at 325F on Thursday. Clean it, put in the roasting pan, cook. Check it periodically. When its browned, put foil on it so it doesn't overbrown the skin. Look up the temp and time online, Butterball's is decent and easy. Go with the lower end of the time range, set your timer. If your turkey weight is the lower end of the range, then reduce the time by 30 minutes. That's when you stick the thermometer in to check it. In the breast should be 160F. If it's not 160, then put it back in. When the breast hits 160, pull it out and let it sit, covered, for 30 minutes before you start carving. But wait you say, the turkey needs to be 170 in the breast. Yes it does. That why its sitting for 30 minutes after you pull it out of the over, it will finish cooking then. Easy, no fuss, and comes out juicy. Then you can use it for leftovers in casseroles or whatever without weird flavor combos because of whatever spices you used.

Never put stuffing in the turkey - its a recipe for food poisoning and it screws up your cooking time. Plus, you can't save the leftovers because its more likely to food poison you. Just make the stuffing separately.

Sugaree

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9532 on: November 28, 2022, 08:31:46 AM »
I usually brine my turkey and then wrap it in bacon while it roasts.  I'm not sure which one has the greater effect, but it usually turns out pretty juicy. 

jeninco

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9533 on: November 28, 2022, 09:10:38 AM »
I usually brine my turkey and then wrap it in bacon while it roasts.  I'm not sure which one has the greater effect, but it usually turns out pretty juicy.

We roast ours breast-down until the last 20 minutes or so, which also helps keep the white meat juicy. I also start checking after 2 hours -- no matter how big my turkey is, it cooks in 2-3 hours. WTF, turkey?

ChpBstrd

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9534 on: November 28, 2022, 09:24:05 AM »
I went to my friends' house for Thanksgiving this year.  They didn't want the dark meat nor the bones!  I got to take the best parts of the bird.  I made 6 quarts of stock and got 4 meals out of the meat.
White turkey meat tastes like dry cardboard. Give me the juicy deep flavor of the dark meat any day.

I am so sorry you have never been offered a properly cooked turkey!
I agree properly cooked > overcooked, but I base my preference on a lifetime of turkey eating. Even when people are raving about how well the turkey is cooked, I still go for the dark side.

Raenia

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9535 on: November 28, 2022, 12:11:58 PM »
We came home with lots of leftovers, and I wish we'd thought to bring our own containers!  Would have made the post-meal divisions much easer.  However, we also did Thanksgiving potluck style, and MIL lives alone and clearly didn't want to keep all the leftovers.  She would have been eating the same food for a week straight, at least, plus she's vegetarian and GF and couldn't eat everything we brought.  Better if everyone gets a day or two of leftovers.  We arrived with the bird* and dessert, and left with the carcass and a bit of everything else.

I can't imagine someone who arrived with empty hands demanding leftovers, much less someone who didn't arrive at all!  How incredibly selfish and entitled.

*The breast meat came out a bit dry, thanks to having to travel and reheat, but in our family the leftover white meat traditionally goes in the soup made from the carcass, so it'll be rehydrated in its final form.

GuitarStv

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9536 on: November 28, 2022, 12:53:03 PM »
I usually brine my turkey and then wrap it in bacon while it roasts.  I'm not sure which one has the greater effect, but it usually turns out pretty juicy.

We've been brining our turkeys for a while now, I find that it really makes a difference for the better.  bacon wrapping sounds interesting too . . . but how much bacon do you need?  And does the skin of the turkey still come out crispy and yummy?

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9537 on: November 28, 2022, 03:36:40 PM »
We've been brining our turkeys for a while now, I find that it really makes a difference for the better.  bacon wrapping sounds interesting too . . . but how much bacon do you need?  And does the skin of the turkey still come out crispy and yummy?

A related tip I've heard (but haven't tried) is food processor-ing some "bacon butter" (just puree some bacon and butter together) and coat/baste the turkey with that like you might do with an herb butter.

My MPP: it's that time of year again. My family wants me to send them holiday gift ideas. I don't really want much that you could practically buy as a gift, and it's both a lot of work to come up with ideas that are semi-workable and it makes me feel guilty about actively trying to be more consumery just so someone can buy me something that they feel is acceptably gifty. Argh. What I really want is a gift card to the grocery store, but that's not "festive".

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9538 on: November 28, 2022, 06:52:28 PM »
Could you ask for something consumer-ish from the same store, and return it for store credit after Christmas? :D

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9539 on: November 28, 2022, 06:53:48 PM »
Restaurant gift card? My mom loves them. It allows her to splurge, or treat a friend once in awhile.

Movie GCs?

Home Depot GC?

Plants? A nursery GC?

A BBQ/smoker? We love ours.

Dollar Slice

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9540 on: November 28, 2022, 07:49:19 PM »
Home Depot GC?

Plants? A nursery GC?

A BBQ/smoker? We love ours.

You may have missed the memo on me living in a tiny Manhattan apartment :-)  That's part of it, I really don't want another thing in here with me. My mom just has this weird thing where she really wants to wrap real objects in wrapping paper, preferably something fun or luxurious, or it doesn't feel like the holiday has been done properly. I found out the hard way that if I don't give my family ideas along those lines, they will buy a bunch of pointless things that I secretly hate.

I try to come up with things that I will wear out eventually (slippers, pajamas, etc.) or a luxury consumable/food kind of thing that will not live in my apartment eternally. And anything non-essential that I think about buying myself after September, I think about maybe waiting and putting it on my holiday list instead.

My parents ALSO give me money and they're very generous people, so I feel like an ass complaining about it, honestly. Total first world problem. "My family gives me too many gifts, wahh!"

Sandi_k

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9541 on: November 28, 2022, 09:26:40 PM »
Home Depot GC?

Plants? A nursery GC?

A BBQ/smoker? We love ours.

You may have missed the memo on me living in a tiny Manhattan apartment :-)  That's part of it, I really don't want another thing in here with me. My mom just has this weird thing where she really wants to wrap real objects in wrapping paper, preferably something fun or luxurious, or it doesn't feel like the holiday has been done properly. I found out the hard way that if I don't give my family ideas along those lines, they will buy a bunch of pointless things that I secretly hate.

I try to come up with things that I will wear out eventually (slippers, pajamas, etc.) or a luxury consumable/food kind of thing that will not live in my apartment eternally. And anything non-essential that I think about buying myself after September, I think about maybe waiting and putting it on my holiday list instead.

My parents ALSO give me money and they're very generous people, so I feel like an ass complaining about it, honestly. Total first world problem. "My family gives me too many gifts, wahh!"

Ah, yes. I had missed the Manhattan apartment. ;)

My mom feels the same as your family; she calls it a "personal" gift. As far as I can tell, it means something that touches my skin. ;)

So I come up with things for her to gift - cologne, or a new robe, or a winter weighted blanket, or a new coat, or a fancy scarf. She's southern, so I just try to go with the flow.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9542 on: November 29, 2022, 03:11:56 AM »
I like to ask for consumables I wouldn't buy for myself, and for 'tickets to ...' or 'a workshop for ...'. Even more fun if they come along!

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9543 on: November 29, 2022, 05:19:42 AM »
Some fancy soap or the like? (I know some people consider this a silent hint for body hygiene, but in case you don't belong to them.) Like in a glass bottle that can be wrapped in paper.

Do you cook at all? An expensive knife. (But make sure it's quality, there are some blatent frauds.) It takes a decade to get a full set and they will serve you a life. The first time I used my (presented) 90€ santoku I nearly cut myself because it went through so easy, even though I only used half the strength as before with my cheap shop veggie knife.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9544 on: November 29, 2022, 05:40:35 AM »
@Dollar Slice - what about a day at a dayspa, preferably with your mom? THis may not be your thing at all, but a massage and some pampering is a gift that doesn't accumulate in your home.   
We had a big discussion with our family a few years ago and told them we want to share experiences, not accumulate things.  So instead of gifts, we schedule a family vacation every couple of years.  It worked pretty well until COVID.....  we now need to reopen that dialogue!

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9545 on: November 29, 2022, 05:46:27 AM »
Easy answer in my family --booze!

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9546 on: November 29, 2022, 11:50:24 AM »
@Dollar Slice - do you have a digital instant read meat thermometer?   I just got one for our DIL, and they are surprisingly pricey if you get a good one. (says the woman still using her 15 year old $5 non-digital one).    The good thing about those is that they really are useful, small, and slide into a drawer easily, but could also convince your Mom that she is gifting you something of quality?

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9547 on: November 29, 2022, 02:12:49 PM »
My MPP is sort of the opposite of Goldielocks'. We have a Friendsgiving potluck we've done for a number of years and DH and I are well-trained to bring our own tupperware to take part in the leftover bounty.  Everyone brings so much of their 1-2 dishes that they are begging everyone else to take as much as they want.  Unfortunately, as I was taking our leftover portions, the person that had made a dish neither of us really enjoyed was standing there and encouraging me to take as much as I could and watching me dish things up!  I was a victim of my own mustachianism in bringing plenty of my own tupperware, because it was obvious I still had a couple empty ones available and no excuse not to take some of her creation.  She's an extremely nice person and I appreciate the joy everyone gets from sharing around, but I definitely had to force down her leftovers over the weekend (I still ate it of course!).

force majeure

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9548 on: November 30, 2022, 03:26:52 AM »
Fellow Mustachian guy I know, is a bit of a digital nomad.
Anyway, he was trying to open a bank account, he overheard a manager saying about him to a bank teller...
"Do we really want a new client who has no utility bills, and a burner mobile phone?"
He has 7 figures in another bank account.

LennStar

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #9549 on: November 30, 2022, 04:11:47 AM »
Fellow Mustachian guy I know, is a bit of a digital nomad.
Anyway, he was trying to open a bank account, he overheard a manager saying about him to a bank teller...
"Do we really want a new client who has no utility bills, and a burner mobile phone?"
He has 7 figures in another bank account.
A bank does not make profit from your account (even though that is what everyone still tells you). They make money by selling you other things, like insurances or cards or investment opportunities. And fees if you are in the red.

So someone who has no utility, how much use do you think he has for e.g. home insurance?

But I think the question was more likely "He is ready to run at every second and we have no way to track him, do we want him owing us money?"