Overheard on Facebook

[Papa Mustache]

I do the smaller versions of those tasks with a tiny trailer and a grocery getter CUV. Carried home 750 lbs of brick this week.

[TheGrimSqueaker]

I learned to drive on a 1963 Dodge Fargo 3-on-the-tree that my dad and I restored, and later he traded it in for a Mazda truck with a topper. Nothing special, definitely not a 4x4, but with enough clearance for dirt road driving and enough carrying capacity to do what we needed to do.

The trucks came in handy because at the time I was doing a lot of youth sports coaching and work related to a high school band and drama department. I had to carry a bunch of sports equipment, musical instruments, costumes, and props around and they would not physically fit into a car. A CUV or SUV might have worked, but they hadn't been invented yet. The closest available vehicles on the market were hatchbacks and station wagons, which simply didn't have enough height. I also used the truck occasionally to go on fishing trips with my dad. That required a fair bit of off-road activity but not 4x4. We also periodically used the truck to take things to the dump, to get things to and from the auction house where my dad liked to hang out, and to dispose of yard waste. We lived on an acreage and there was always something to move or haul. Overall I'd say we used the truck for things a car couldn't accomplish at least three times per week.

My mom's family are all farmers and ranchers. They use work trucks on a daily basis to feed livestock. They use a cylinder bale system that can carry two bales at a time. I briefly tried to imagine a system like that mounted to a car just for the lulz.

[Rural]

So then who does use pick up trucks? Actually use, not just drive around?

My in-laws live in a rural area so they have to haul their own trash to the dump instead of having a pick up service, aside from that I don't know what they use their pick up bed for regularly.

We did, building our house, though a dually F350 is wasted hauling lumber. Not wasted hauling gravel, though.


Now, though, we need 4wd (if we want to get to our house when it rains) but not necessarily a truck bed. We've been trying to sell the F350 off and on, but it isn't running well and was a $1500 truck when we bought it years ago.  I think we may buy husband a smaller truck for his next vehicle, though - since we have to have the 4wd and thus pay for the fuel for a 4wd, no reason not to have a truck bed. We can haul passengers as needed in my 4wd SUV.

[TexasRunner]

So then who does use pick up trucks? Actually use, not just drive around?

My in-laws live in a rural area so they have to haul their own trash to the dump instead of having a pick up service, aside from that I don't know what they use their pick up bed for regularly.

We did, building our house, though a dually F350 is wasted hauling lumber. Not wasted hauling gravel, though.


Now, though, we need 4wd (if we want to get to our house when it rains) but not necessarily a truck bed. We've been trying to sell the F350 off and on, but it isn't running well and was a $1500 truck when we bought it years ago.  I think we may buy husband a smaller truck for his next vehicle, though - since we have to have the 4wd and thus pay for the fuel for a 4wd, no reason not to have a truck bed. We can haul passengers as needed in my 4wd SUV.

I'm not sure many here would argue with a 1500$ truck that is used regularly for its intended purpose....   My coworkers, however, each have trucks over 20,000$.  One of them has one loaded out with all the options for 78,000$.  In ten years that could have been 153,000 but is going to be a 30,000$ resell (maybe).

[ender]

We've hauled all sorts of things in our wagon recently.

Picked up a recliner and lovseat (both individually fit into it, though tight) and also a couch (stuck out about a foot out the back).

Other than another couch which was too high, though it barely fit into the SUV the person we bought it from had, too, I cannot think of a single other instance in the past 5 years where I would have rather had a truck.

[bebegirl]

I would totally pay $700 per month for 900sf. As it is I pay $800 per month for 635sf.

....oh wait, you didn't mean a whole apartment??

Well the space advertised looked like real storage area - cold, dark, concrete, without windows. This is specifically to keep staff or whatever. This is not an apartment ))

[LeRainDrop]

I would totally pay $700 per month for 900sf. As it is I pay $800 per month for 635sf.

....oh wait, you didn't mean a whole apartment??

Well the space advertised looked like real storage area - cold, dark, concrete, without windows. This is specifically to keep staff or whatever. This is not an apartment ))

Wait, you would keep your *staff* in a cold, dark, concrete room, without windows????  You are a really mean boss.

[bebegirl]

Wait, you would keep your *staff* in a cold, dark, concrete room, without windows????  You are a really mean boss.

lol, sorry, I meant STUFF  ! My spelling is not good. Especially if I do not check vocabulary ))

[AlanStache]

I saw this truck on my ride home today; was on my bicycle so had the camera rolling.  New dually truck, not one scratch on it, actually got a cool reflected picture of myself from the tail gate.  Somehow I think the owner would be pissed if actual dirt got on it.  But maybe he needs it to pull a fifth wheel once a year - i dont know.  Licence place was something like "Navy 123" so I am guessing his full time job is not cowboy or oil well machinery hauler.



I have actual cowboy family members that have dually trucks for work, but they drive p.o.s four door cars around town.

[TexasRunner]

I have actual cowboy family members that have dually trucks for work, but they drive p.o.s four door cars around town.

Thats generally how you know they actually use it.  :)

[Kitsune]

I have actual cowboy family members that have dually trucks for work, but they drive p.o.s four door cars around town.

Thats generally how you know they actually use it.  :)

This. Our immediate family has 4 households in the village, with 2 pickup trucks between them. I think the youngest one is hitting 20, and how the bumper is staying on with that rust is beyond me. However, we use it to haul dirt/gravel/wood/construction materials/large rocks for landscaping, and were borrow ping it again next week to hitch a trailer to it to take the sheep to the butcher. While our Fit is great, it is incapable of lugging a trailer full of sheep up a hill.

... Honestly, I'm pretty sure neither truck could be sold for more than 1k, but the extended family chips in for maintenance and we put gas in when we use it. It's very useful communal property in a rural area.

Damned if I know what people with huge expensive new trucks are doing with them, though. :)

[MgoSam]

Guy I lived with bought a truck because he's a big guy and didn't like how his sedan felt. I tried to discourage him due to the price and the cost of gas. He shrugged the gas cost because his current car is a Caddy and so it required premium, plus has terrible gas mileage. So now he has a truck, can't recall which brand, but now is unhappy because of the gas mileage and the fact that it doesn't fit in his garage so he's going to have to park on the driveway all year round....we live in Minnesota.

[TheGrimSqueaker]

I have actual cowboy family members that have dually trucks for work, but they drive p.o.s four door cars around town.

Thats generally how you know they actually use it.  :)

For those who allow themselves the luxury of owning and insuring multiple vehicles, sure. Most people have to get by with one vehicle that can do all, or nearly all, of what they have to do to get through their day. If they need to haul both kids and hay bales, that truck is going to have an extended cab. It doesn't mean they buy it new, and it doesn't mean they don't maintain what they have.

[Cyaphas]

The truck contrast between Wisonsin and Southern California is hilarious to almost obscenity. When I was living in San Bernardino you'd constantly see 5" sky lifts with smoked ut lights and some ungodly Steel bumper/structure add ons. Let's not leave out the giant inefficient, stupidly loud, Mud tires. These trucks haven't seen a spec of dirt since they rolled off the lot.

In contrast, when my GF of the time and I took a road trip back to Wisconsin, there were trucks everywhere, not one had a lift or smoked mirrors, they all had some form of mud on them. A lot had bull bars or headache racks. Almost everyone of those trucks were worked every day.

It seems like just another example of how audacious LA really is. The hypocrisy, flamboyance and utter waste of Southern CA is one of the reasons I laugh when anyone refers to CA as Progressive. As if by progress they're referring to Dante's Inferno.

[frooglepoodle]

The truck contrast between Wisonsin and Southern California is hilarious to almost obscenity. When I was living in San Bernardino you'd constantly see 5" sky lifts with smoked ut lights and some ungodly Steel bumper/structure add ons. Let's not leave out the giant inefficient, stupidly loud, Mud tires. These trucks haven't seen a spec of dirt since they rolled off the lot.

In contrast, when my GF of the time and I took a road trip back to Wisconsin, there were trucks everywhere, not one had a lift or smoked mirrors, they all had some form of mud on them. A lot had bull bars or headache racks. Almost everyone of those trucks were worked every day.

It seems like just another example of how audacious LA really is. The hypocrisy, flamboyance and utter waste of Southern CA is one of the reasons I laugh when anyone refers to CA as Progressive. If by progress they referring to Dante's Inferno.

As a Southern CA native, the bolded perfectly sums up why I have no desire to raise my own children there.

[Goldielocks]

...
Not bad. Two curiosities cross my mind

a. That penny would be worth considerably more if someone had invested it since 1776
b. I wonder how much a penny that had been minted in this time and had been preserved would fetch in an auction?

A: Math says 112k$.
http://www.moneychimp.com/calculator/compound_interest_calculator.htm
0.01$ at 7% for 240 years. 
Not that there were broad market etfs in 1776...

But inflation is a modern trend, in the past 100 years or so..

[Pooperman]

...
Not bad. Two curiosities cross my mind

a. That penny would be worth considerably more if someone had invested it since 1776
b. I wonder how much a penny that had been minted in this time and had been preserved would fetch in an auction?

A: Math says 112k$.
http://www.moneychimp.com/calculator/compound_interest_calculator.htm
0.01$ at 7% for 240 years. 
Not that there were broad market etfs in 1776...

But inflation is a modern trend, in the past 100 years or so..

Federal reserve and the thought that slight inflation is good for the economy because debts will be easier to pay off. It is also the reason that the gold standard had to end.

[Apples]

I have actual cowboy family members that have dually trucks for work, but they drive p.o.s four door cars around town.

Thats generally how you know they actually use it.  :)

For those who allow themselves the luxury of owning and insuring multiple vehicles, sure. Most people have to get by with one vehicle that can do all, or nearly all, of what they have to do to get through their day. If they need to haul both kids and hay bales, that truck is going to have an extended cab. It doesn't mean they buy it new, and it doesn't mean they don't maintain what they have.

+1.  I work on my family's farm, and my work truck - at work - is used to haul people, tools, ladders in the bed, parts, etc.  I have the full cab and a 6 ft bed.  No, it's not as good at the 8 foot bed, but 6' men don't like trying to fit in the back seat of an extended cab.  My DH and I also have an SUV (was my 16th birthday present, next vehicle will be a car) that he drives into town for work.  So sometimes my truck and I go on errands into town that would be facepunch-worthy, except it's not worth buying a second vehicle so that we have 3 cars sitting in our driveway.  In the future my work truck will have car seats in the back seat when I go pick up the kids after work. 

[AlanStache]

...
Not bad. Two curiosities cross my mind

a. That penny would be worth considerably more if someone had invested it since 1776
b. I wonder how much a penny that had been minted in this time and had been preserved would fetch in an auction?

A: Math says 112k$.
http://www.moneychimp.com/calculator/compound_interest_calculator.htm
0.01$ at 7% for 240 years. 
Not that there were broad market etfs in 1776...

But inflation is a modern trend, in the past 100 years or so..

Federal reserve and the thought that slight inflation is good for the economy because debts will be easier to pay off. It is also the reason that the gold standard had to end.

I started to look up average rates of return for way back then and quickly saw it to be a deep rabbit hole I did not want to step into on a friday morning when I should be working....  As a quick hack I split the time period in 'half'.

From 1776 to 1900, an initial investment of 0.01$ at 2% yields 0.12$
From 1900 to 2016, an initial investment of 0.12$ at 7% yields 307.4$

Crazy how interest rates and time do that.

[Gin1984]

So then who does use pick up trucks? Actually use, not just drive around?

My in-laws live in a rural area so they have to haul their own trash to the dump instead of having a pick up service, aside from that I don't know what they use their pick up bed for regularly.

My aunt did when she worked with marine mammals and then when she worked for homeland security (they have an animal division for emergency response).  I now own the truck because she no longer works for those groups and I needed a new to me car.  I don't use it for much, except my husband uses it for hockey travel.

[MudDuck]

Posted in a FB budgeting advice & support group:

"I would really like to get a new car. The one I have is 16 years old and is starting to have issues. I REALLY don't want to have to pay a car payment but I would like a reliable car. How can I do this? Time frame I'm shooting for is 9 months to a year away..."

[slugline]

Posted in a FB budgeting advice & support group:

"I would really like to get a new car. The one I have is 16 years old and is starting to have issues. I REALLY don't want to have to pay a car payment but I would like a reliable car. How can I do this? Time frame I'm shooting for is 9 months to a year away..."

Sounds like they want another car . . . but don't want to pay for it. Please let us know what the hivemind recommends!

[merula]

Posted in a FB budgeting advice & support group:

"I would really like to get a new car. The one I have is 16 years old and is starting to have issues. I REALLY don't want to have to pay a car payment but I would like a reliable car. How can I do this? Time frame I'm shooting for is 9 months to a year away..."

Sounds like they want another car . . . but don't want to pay for it. Please let us know what the hivemind recommends!

Sounds to me like this belongs in the anti-antimustachian Facebook thread. Person drives a car into the ground, is looking for a used car and wants to know what they need to save in the next 9 months to get there.

[MudDuck]

Posted in a FB budgeting advice & support group:

"I would really like to get a new car. The one I have is 16 years old and is starting to have issues. I REALLY don't want to have to pay a car payment but I would like a reliable car. How can I do this? Time frame I'm shooting for is 9 months to a year away..."

Sounds like they want another car . . . but don't want to pay for it. Please let us know what the hivemind recommends!

Sounds to me like this belongs in the anti-antimustachian Facebook thread. Person drives a car into the ground, is looking for a used car and wants to know what they need to save in the next 9 months to get there.

The spirit is definitely mustachian... it's the execution. Somebody recommended that she save money by making a "car payment" to her savings account each month, but the next response was, "I find it impossible to save as well for the same reason. For some reason we can always pay off debt for a purchase though." (The same reason refers to a remark upthread stating that no matter how hard she tries to save, "Something is always coming up that takes it.")

[Papa Mustache]

They need to take that car payment and put it elsewhere - another account. Make it harder to access. And more commitment to the cause of being car payment free.

[slugline]

The spirit is definitely mustachian... it's the execution. Somebody recommended that she save money by making a "car payment" to her savings account each month, but the next response was, "I find it impossible to save as well for the same reason. For some reason we can always pay off debt for a purchase though." (The same reason refers to a remark upthread stating that no matter how hard she tries to save, "Something is always coming up that takes it.")

In these cases, I have to believe that there's some mental block that is crippling the person's ability to think about and plan for the future.

[MrMoogle]

A friend posted this on facebook:
https://vimeo.com/176370337?ref=fb-share&1

Not really antimustachian.  I thought it was interesting.

[VladTheImpaler]

A friend posted this on facebook:
https://vimeo.com/176370337?ref=fb-share&1

Not really antimustachian.  I thought it was interesting.

Thank you for sharing that video!
Very cool quotes, kinda blew my mind.

[Mississippi Mudstache]

One of my female friends just put this on Facebook. What the ever-loving fuck?

[Tjat]

Part of my extended family is what I'd call Appalachian Baptist. I went to two of their weddings and the entire homily (not sure if that's a baptist word) and vows were in the spirit of the above. As an 8 year old at the time, I found it quite hilarious. Looking back, it's a bit sad.

[frooglepoodle]

I know a surprising number of young women who feel that way, it seems to be a fairly common sentiment among conservative Christians.

I put a reasonable amount of effort into making life easier for my husband. When he is working a lot I picked up quite a bit of slack around the house. But he also makes sure I get a break on the weekends or when his schedule allows during the week. It's called teamwork. And I'll be damned if I don't expect him to do some chores when he is able to!

[Kitsune]

Omfg. Omfg. Just READING that is bad for my blood pressure, swear to god.

And yeah, actually, I DID marry my husband with the expectation that he'd do a fair share of the housework. And he married me expecting me to pull my share of the financial weight. Because we're both competent adults.

And if high expectations destroy a relationship, it wasn't worth keeping it going. Have some freakin standards.

[TexasRunner]

One of my female friends just put this on Facebook. What the ever-loving fuck?

As I Christian, I just want to clarify for you non-Christians out there that this isn't in the Bible.

(1) Expectations enhance relationships.  I expect my wife to be faithful and she expects the same of me (Proverbs 5:15), I expect her to help me when I am in need (and vice versa) (Galatians 6:2) and I expect God to fulfill His promises (Philippians 1:6).

(2) You shouldn't have married your husband to be "your protector and provider".  What happens if life happens and he is (temporarily but extendedy) out of work?  Will you leave him as he isn't "providing"?  Actually, God prefers Christians to not get married (Corinthians 8:8) unless they really can't stand it any more (like when you find someone very special to you).  Marrying your husband to be your "protector and provider" is marrying him with expectations, and while he should generally do those things, that is a very shallow view of marriage.

(3) The Bible upholds a woman who brings in money and financial support as an example in Proverbs 31: "She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.  She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.  She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.  She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.  She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard."  In other words, she uses the couple's shared money under her own authority and makes investments.

(4) The general emphasis on serving one another is Biblical (Galatians 5:13, Acts 20:35), but it goes both ways.  The man can't work 8 hours a day then come home and do nothing.  The Bible calls for balance and fairness (2 Timothy 1:7 (self-control), Luke 10:38-42 (balance in stress/realizing whats important)) and doesn't call for one person to do [thing 1] in the household while the other does [thing 2]- unless that is what you and your spouse agree to and what works for you.

[TexasRunner]

And yeah, actually, I DID marry my husband with the expectation that he'd do a fair share of the housework. And he married me expecting me to pull my share of the financial weight. Because we're both competent adults.

And if high expectations destroy a relationship, it wasn't worth keeping it going. Have some freakin standards.

/\  THIS.

Wonder what divorce rates would be if expectations were clear, upfront and reasonable.  If one party thinks the other's aren't reasonable...  That should be a warning sign.

Unfortunately dating has turned into a joke and a contest to see who can look the most like they have their shit together rather than being real.

[LeRainDrop]

One of my female friends just put this on Facebook. What the ever-loving fuck?

Omfg. Omfg. Just READING that is bad for my blood pressure, swear to god.

Excuse me while I pick my eyeballs up off the floor.  They fell out when I read that.

[VladTheImpaler]

One of my female friends just put this on Facebook. What the ever-loving fuck?

Honestly, as an good, hardworking, and faithful man, that sounds like a woman I would like to marry.
I would also do the same for her.

[VladTheImpaler]

One of my female friends just put this on Facebook. What the ever-loving fuck?

As I Christian, I just want to clarify for you non-Christians out there that this isn't in the Bible.

(1) Expectations enhance relationships.  I expect my wife to be faithful and she expects the same of me (Proverbs 5:15), I expect her to help me when I am in need (and vice versa) (Galatians 6:2) and I expect God to fulfill His promises (Philippians 1:6).

(2) You shouldn't have married your husband to be "your protector and provider".  What happens if life happens and he is (temporarily but extendedy) out of work?  Will you leave him as he isn't "providing"?  Actually, God prefers Christians to not get married (Corinthians 8:8) unless they really can't stand it any more (like when you find someone very special to you).  Marrying your husband to be your "protector and provider" is marrying him with expectations, and while he should generally do those things, that is a very shallow view of marriage.

(3) The Bible upholds a woman who brings in money and financial support as an example in Proverbs 31: "She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.  She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.  She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.  She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.  She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard."  In other words, she uses the couple's shared money under her own authority and makes investments.

(4) The general emphasis on serving one another is Biblical (Galatians 5:13, Acts 20:35), but it goes both ways.  The man can't work 8 hours a day then come home and do nothing.  The Bible calls for balance and fairness (2 Timothy 1:7 (self-control), Luke 10:38-42 (balance in stress/realizing whats important)) and doesn't call for one person to do [thing 1] in the household while the other does [thing 2]- unless that is what you and your spouse agree to and what works for you.

+1
Thank you for posting this.

[MBot]

One of my female friends just put this on Facebook. What the ever-loving fuck?

As I Christian, I just want to clarify for you non-Christians out there that this isn't in the Bible.

(1) Expectations enhance relationships.  I expect my wife to be faithful and she expects the same of me (Proverbs 5:15), I expect her to help me when I am in need (and vice versa) (Galatians 6:2) and I expect God to fulfill His promises (Philippians 1:6).

(2) You shouldn't have married your husband to be "your protector and provider".  What happens if life happens and he is (temporarily but extendedy) out of work?  Will you leave him as he isn't "providing"?  Actually, God prefers Christians to not get married (Corinthians 8:8) unless they really can't stand it any more (like when you find someone very special to you).  Marrying your husband to be your "protector and provider" is marrying him with expectations, and while he should generally do those things, that is a very shallow view of marriage.

(3) The Bible upholds a woman who brings in money and financial support as an example in Proverbs 31: "She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.  She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.  She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.  She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.  She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard."  In other words, she uses the couple's shared money under her own authority and makes investments.

(4) The general emphasis on serving one another is Biblical (Galatians 5:13, Acts 20:35), but it goes both ways.  The man can't work 8 hours a day then come home and do nothing.  The Bible calls for balance and fairness (2 Timothy 1:7 (self-control), Luke 10:38-42 (balance in stress/realizing whats important)) and doesn't call for one person to do [thing 1] in the household while the other does [thing 2]- unless that is what you and your spouse agree to and what works for you.

+1

[MgoSam]

One of my female friends just put this on Facebook. What the ever-loving fuck?

As I Christian, I just want to clarify for you non-Christians out there that this isn't in the Bible.

(1) Expectations enhance relationships.  I expect my wife to be faithful and she expects the same of me (Proverbs 5:15), I expect her to help me when I am in need (and vice versa) (Galatians 6:2) and I expect God to fulfill His promises (Philippians 1:6).

(2) You shouldn't have married your husband to be "your protector and provider".  What happens if life happens and he is (temporarily but extendedy) out of work?  Will you leave him as he isn't "providing"?  Actually, God prefers Christians to not get married (Corinthians 8:8) unless they really can't stand it any more (like when you find someone very special to you).  Marrying your husband to be your "protector and provider" is marrying him with expectations, and while he should generally do those things, that is a very shallow view of marriage.

(3) The Bible upholds a woman who brings in money and financial support as an example in Proverbs 31: "She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.  She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.  She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.  She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.  She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard."  In other words, she uses the couple's shared money under her own authority and makes investments.

(4) The general emphasis on serving one another is Biblical (Galatians 5:13, Acts 20:35), but it goes both ways.  The man can't work 8 hours a day then come home and do nothing.  The Bible calls for balance and fairness (2 Timothy 1:7 (self-control), Luke 10:38-42 (balance in stress/realizing whats important)) and doesn't call for one person to do [thing 1] in the household while the other does [thing 2]- unless that is what you and your spouse agree to and what works for you.

+1
Thank you for posting this.

Well said. also want to add that it's not like it was in the past where the man automatically was the breadwinner and the women stayed home, most couples both work so it's not at all reasonable for the women to both earn and be expected to clean and cook. Sure, there are relationships where the couple have divided up responsibilities, but the idea that a women should not expect her husband to help out around the house because...The Bible...is not right.

[auntie_betty]

One of my female friends just put this on Facebook. What the ever-loving fuck?

Omfg. Omfg. Just READING that is bad for my blood pressure, swear to god.

Excuse me while I pick my eyeballs up off the floor.  They fell out when I read that.

My partner thinks this is true:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1_QTm-wpsY

[LeRainDrop]

My partner thinks this is true:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1_QTm-wpsY

LOL!  Where can I order one of those laundry baskets and coffee tables for my home?

[MgoSam]

One of my female friends just put this on Facebook. What the ever-loving fuck?

Honestly, as an good, hardworking, and faithful man, that sounds like a woman I would like to marry.
I would also do the same for her.

Perhaps you may not want to. Posting things like that on social media can be a red flag.

[Mississippi Mudstache]

One of my female friends just put this on Facebook. What the ever-loving fuck?

As I Christian, I just want to clarify for you non-Christians out there that this isn't in the Bible.

(1) Expectations enhance relationships.  I expect my wife to be faithful and she expects the same of me (Proverbs 5:15), I expect her to help me when I am in need (and vice versa) (Galatians 6:2) and I expect God to fulfill His promises (Philippians 1:6).

(2) You shouldn't have married your husband to be "your protector and provider".  What happens if life happens and he is (temporarily but extendedy) out of work?  Will you leave him as he isn't "providing"?  Actually, God prefers Christians to not get married (Corinthians 8:8) unless they really can't stand it any more (like when you find someone very special to you).  Marrying your husband to be your "protector and provider" is marrying him with expectations, and while he should generally do those things, that is a very shallow view of marriage.

(3) The Bible upholds a woman who brings in money and financial support as an example in Proverbs 31: "She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.  She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.  She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.  She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.  She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard."  In other words, she uses the couple's shared money under her own authority and makes investments.

(4) The general emphasis on serving one another is Biblical (Galatians 5:13, Acts 20:35), but it goes both ways.  The man can't work 8 hours a day then come home and do nothing.  The Bible calls for balance and fairness (2 Timothy 1:7 (self-control), Luke 10:38-42 (balance in stress/realizing whats important)) and doesn't call for one person to do [thing 1] in the household while the other does [thing 2]- unless that is what you and your spouse agree to and what works for you.

I agree with you. My parents are both faithful Christians and shared what I would consider to be an exemplary marriage - but my mother damn sure had expectations of my father, and it wasn't to be a "provider and protector". Frankly, if my friend finds happiness in living the life described in this note, then good for her - but this doesn't convince me that she's really happy. To share this stuff on social media sounds a lot more like "My husband doesn't do housework and it pisses me off, but my role is to be subservient to him so I'll pretend that I'm OK with it and try to convince other people to be OK with it as well so I don't feel so alone". To assume that this reasonable and biblical advice to disseminate to all wives is just staggeringly insular. I honestly feel bad for her.

[nobodyspecial]

So what is their advice for a gay married couple?
If both husbands do no housework it's going to get pretty bad.

[Kitsune]

And yeah, actually, I DID marry my husband with the expectation that he'd do a fair share of the housework. And he married me expecting me to pull my share of the financial weight. Because we're both competent adults.

And if high expectations destroy a relationship, it wasn't worth keeping it going. Have some freakin standards.

/\  THIS.

Wonder what divorce rates would be if expectations were clear, upfront and reasonable.  If one party thinks the other's aren't reasonable...  That should be a warning sign.

Unfortunately dating has turned into a joke and a contest to see who can look the most like they have their shit together rather than being real.

And THAT would be the advantage of marrying an old friend. Sure, we've had our share of spats about the housework (usually prompted by something unusual that really hit a nerve) but overall, we've worked it out.

And to be clear: we manage fluctuating demands and contributions, like competent adults. There's work to be done on house-building that he's better at - I pick up the housework. I'm pregnant and exhausted and super sick - I basically lie on the couch and try not to die and he does housework around me. While I'm on maternity leave I bring less money - that's fair. He's unemployed for a while - ok, we balance it. Balance based on ability and requirements, basically.

But 'don't expect anything from him because it destroys relationships'??!?!? Dude, if expecting my husband to do the damned laundry and also sweep the floor while I make dinner and pack lunches and do the tidying is going to destroy our relationship, I'd venture that it's not a relationship I'd find particularly worth saving.

[Kitsune]

So what is their advice for a gay married couple?
If both husbands do no housework it's going to get pretty bad.

Or a lesbian couple? Super clean house that's about to be reposessed since no one is providing and paying for the mortage, I gather?

[Papa Mustache]

Honestly, as an good, hardworking, and faithful man, that sounds like a woman I would like to marry.
I would also do the same for her.

Perhaps you may not want to. Posting things like that on social media can be a red flag.
[/quote]

Exactly. We have one friend who posts these random sugary sweet platitudes and Bible verses about their spouse. Turns out they are having trouble and this friend is trying to wish it all better. If everyone thinks we have the perfect marriage, maybe we will... I see it more as pleas for help from those "in the know". They are safe and well cared for but going through a divorce now.

[HairyUpperLip]

So what is their advice for a gay married couple?
If both husbands do no housework it's going to get pretty bad.

Or a lesbian couple? Super clean house that's about to be reposessed since no one is providing and paying for the mortage, I gather?

I figured it out -

Every lesbian couple should live with a gay male couple. That way they will all balance out and the bills will get paid and the house will be clean.


lol - honestly, I do more cleaning than my wife and I do a better job than her. I actually enjoy cleaning because I love the end product. :)

[Pooperman]

So what is their advice for a gay married couple?
If both husbands do no housework it's going to get pretty bad.

Or a lesbian couple? Super clean house that's about to be reposessed since no one is providing and paying for the mortage, I gather?

I figured it out -

Every lesbian couple should live with a gay male couple. That way they will all balance out and the bills will get paid and the house will be clean.


lol - honestly, I do more cleaning than my wife and I do a better job than her. I actually enjoy cleaning because I love the end product. :)

You beat me to it!

[HairyUpperLip]

You beat me to it!

great minds ;)