Author Topic: Overheard on Facebook  (Read 4790152 times)

Freedom Invested

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5550 on: December 04, 2016, 01:56:54 PM »
...
I deleted my Facebook account years ago and never looked back. It's been linked to unhappiness due to comparing to others; especially when posting and awaiting approval. Additionally it is giving away personal data to those that primarily want to monetize it.
...

I just looked for a way to disable people from being able to like/comment on what I post but it does not seem to be an option.  It would be interesting to see how I am affected and how what I post changes without the feedback of getting likes/comments from others.

Interesting, I cannot say for others, but I think I'd feel less like I was competing with other people. The like/comment, and especially like altered how I wrote posts.

Freedom Invested

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5551 on: December 04, 2016, 02:00:43 PM »
I don't do FB, so I don't recall ever reading anything on this thread.

I deleted my Facebook account years ago and never looked back. It's been linked to unhappiness due to comparing to others; especially when posting and awaiting approval. Additionally it is giving away personal data to those that primarily want to monetize it.

...

I am not active on FB but it has helped me stay in touch with old classmates, more distant relatives and previous coworkers that I like.  It is an easy way to keep these relationships from completely fading away.

True, I cannot claim it is all bad.

And this entertaining thread does exist due to FB.

Maverick44

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5552 on: December 05, 2016, 09:36:46 AM »
I have a really 'good' one this morning from an old h.s. acquaintance. Part of me feels bad, but most of me is amazed that she screwed herself so badly:

"I overdrafted my bank account $750 to finish my kitchen, plus I borrowed $500 from my boss. Now I'm so broke this month I can't afford to eat or leave the house. After I clean up my bank account and pay back my boss I owe a total of $500 still to the contractor who did the work, and I'm not going to have spending money until way after Christmas, so I can't afford to get my friends and family Christmas presents, which is really shitty of me. Plus I don't think I'll be able to take my vacation in January, which is just making me so depressed this week. Don't get me wrong... it was worth it, I should have just done it over the course of a few months rather than a week. I was just so sick of waiting that I didn't think things through :("

What are the comments like?

The comments are a mix of people saying they understand/ are in the same boat or just "Well, you NEED a kitchen!" (mind you I do not know if there was no other way for her to make food other than this so that part I can't weight in on). 

There is one that says "Get a credit card!" and one sane person that stated: "Yikes! Sounds like you've got yourself in a situation.  Now what you need to do is concentrate on paying your debts and be sure to not let it get any worse. Bad Credit can follow you for years.  As far as Christmas goes, consider giving gifts of your time.  Or make some gifts. I happen to know you're a very talented artist. Friends and family would all appreciate an original sketch! You'll dig yourself out of this, just make sure you learn from this experience!"

The mix of reality check and positivity in that last comment warranted a like from me. Hopefully, she takes it to heart as a horrible learning experience and that having $1750 in savings should be something she needs to have.

dsmexpat

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5553 on: December 05, 2016, 12:48:40 PM »
A few days ago I saw people insisting that rich people have no business giving advice to people living in poverty because they can't understand or relate to those experiences. I mean sure, on the one hand advice like "take a small loan of a million dollars from your father and buy real estate" probably isn't much help but on the other, restricting your sources for advice on how to handle money exclusively to people who themselves have failed probably isn't a good idea.

Goldielocks

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5554 on: December 05, 2016, 01:15:53 PM »
Madame Bovary had a post up last week asking for unwanted jewelry so she can make her kid a jewelry box for Christmas.

PS, most of what I gave her was up on a local yardsale site, I don't think she realized I could see her posting in the forum.   So yup, officially done trying to help out Madame Bovary.

Not cool Madame Bovary. Can you call her out on it like 'oh, I notice that your selling a shamrock charm; be strange coincidence I gave you one identical to that, you could pair them together and give them to kid / make more money' and repeat?

Probably, but honestly, if she is putting in the effort to make some cash whatever, I just hope the kid actually gets some of it.  It was a cheap lesson for me to learn.  Back in the beginning up until now, I've honestly felt really bad for her.  And I understand that pretty much all of her current situation is due to her own personal choices but this was someone that I was genuinely very close to throughout high school so I've felt bad for her, I've had a couple of my own god awful years (last year being one of them) so I get that sometimes it feels like you can't stand back up without getting kicked in the nuts again.  I'm done with that now though.

DH has routinely kept telling me I'm a sucker when I reach out to help.  I think between the shunning of the food offerings and now this I'm done feeling bad for her.  So overall, that lesson only cost me a bag of cheap costume jewelry and my time.

i have someone like that in my life right now,  says one thing to your face, and does something completely differently later...  but is in true financial straits with kids, so I keep helping a bit.    It does become a bit more fun, now, that she is able to be on her own feet, to do the reverse to her..  say one thing, then not do it after...   treating her just the same that we treat our acquaintances, in other words...

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5555 on: December 05, 2016, 04:05:28 PM »
i have someone like that in my life right now,  says one thing to your face, and does something completely differently later...  but is in true financial straits with kids, so I keep helping a bit.    It does become a bit more fun, now, that she is able to be on her own feet, to do the reverse to her..  say one thing, then not do it after...   treating her just the same that we treat our acquaintances, in other words...

Evil genius!

I'd love to apply this to people in my life. Usually I take pride in not sinking to their level, but I've noticed that with some people, they are not even remotely swayed by me turning them down, they will just move on to their next 'target'.

VladTheImpaler

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5556 on: December 07, 2016, 02:56:13 PM »
A few days ago I saw people insisting that rich people have no business giving advice to people living in poverty because they can't understand or relate to those experiences. I mean sure, on the one hand advice like "take a small loan of a million dollars from your father and buy real estate" probably isn't much help but on the other, restricting your sources for advice on how to handle money exclusively to people who themselves have failed probably isn't a good idea.

It totally depends if the wealthy person made their own money or if they were given it.
There are a lot wealthy (inherited) folks that couldn't find their way out of a paper bag.
Likewise, there are some poor people who are SLOWLY fighting and clawing their way to FI, by being disciplined and cutting ties with financially dysfunctional friends and family.


PMG

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5557 on: December 11, 2016, 02:00:28 PM »
Not about money, but those degrading "tag someone" mÍmes. I just gently called someone out for posting it on Facebook. I hate conflict, but I just couldn't ignore this one for some reason. So I am hiding out here and working my nerve up to check Facebook again... Or not for a while, because I don't actually have to. Shew.

I feel like I need a dozen cute kitten mÍmes to clean my soul.



dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5558 on: December 11, 2016, 03:51:15 PM »
Not about money, but those degrading "tag someone" mÍmes. I just gently called someone out for posting it on Facebook. I hate conflict, but I just couldn't ignore this one for some reason. So I am hiding out here and working my nerve up to check Facebook again... Or not for a while, because I don't actually have to. Shew.

I feel like I need a dozen cute kitten mÍmes to clean my soul.

First, WTF is a mÍme?  Are you french?  If anything, it's a mēme?

Second, what degrading tag someone meme?


PMG

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5559 on: December 11, 2016, 04:06:57 PM »
Not about money, but those degrading "tag someone" mÍmes. I just gently called someone out for posting it on Facebook. I hate conflict, but I just couldn't ignore this one for some reason. So I am hiding out here and working my nerve up to check Facebook again... Or not for a while, because I don't actually have to. Shew.

I feel like I need a dozen cute kitten mÍmes to clean my soul.

First, WTF is a mÍme?  Are you french?  If anything, it's a mēme?

Second, what degrading tag someone meme?

Autocorrect changed meme to mÍme and I was too lazy to fix it.

The memes are made from photos of people who do not fit beauty standards in the States and read things like "Can you tag so and so for me, they aren't returning my calls." They are usually sexualized. They're pretty cruel and being used to shame body, ability, gender, race, etc.

Isn't that all the internet is? And this whole thread is focused on making fun of others.  I ignore a lot but in this case I just couldn't. It's one thing to make fun of a stupid thing someone said.  It's another thing to make fun of a person for being a person.

I'm the stupid one in this scenario because I opened my mouth (and because I let autocorrect do it's thing, thanks Dragoncar). Surprisingly there has been no backlash on Facebook yet.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2016, 04:09:26 PM by PMG »

Primm

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5560 on: December 11, 2016, 06:00:24 PM »
Not about money, but those degrading "tag someone" mÍmes. I just gently called someone out for posting it on Facebook. I hate conflict, but I just couldn't ignore this one for some reason. So I am hiding out here and working my nerve up to check Facebook again... Or not for a while, because I don't actually have to. Shew.

I feel like I need a dozen cute kitten mÍmes to clean my soul.

First, WTF is a mÍme?  Are you french?  If anything, it's a mēme?

Second, what degrading tag someone meme?

Autocorrect changed meme to mÍme and I was too lazy to fix it.

The memes are made from photos of people who do not fit beauty standards in the States and read things like "Can you tag so and so for me, they aren't returning my calls." They are usually sexualized. They're pretty cruel and being used to shame body, ability, gender, race, etc.

Isn't that all the internet is? And this whole thread is focused on making fun of others.  I ignore a lot but in this case I just couldn't. It's one thing to make fun of a stupid thing someone said.  It's another thing to make fun of a person for being a person.

I'm the stupid one in this scenario because I opened my mouth (and because I let autocorrect do it's thing, thanks Dragoncar). Surprisingly there has been no backlash on Facebook yet.

I've heard about this and gone looking (and agree, it's sexist and demeaning and pathetic). But either I have a great bunch of friends or they all realise what the backlash would be if they did this with my knowledge, because not one of the people I'm friends with on FB has actually ever posted or been tagged in one of these things.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5561 on: December 11, 2016, 10:09:38 PM »
Sorry I still have no idea what this is.  I guess im lucky but out of morbid curiousoty can you post an example?

Penny McSave

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5562 on: December 11, 2016, 11:34:55 PM »
Something like this?

shelivesthedream

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5563 on: December 12, 2016, 12:12:03 AM »
Wow, and people actually tag their "friends" in these pictures?

nnls

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5564 on: December 12, 2016, 12:17:55 AM »
I assumed they meant these ones, if you are on facebook and just type "i'm looking for" there is a whole page where someone makes them with just about every name imaginable. I have seen heaps in my news feed the last few days

LeRainDrop

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5565 on: December 12, 2016, 12:50:52 AM »
What the hell?  A few of you sure have some mean-ass friends!

Warlord1986

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5566 on: December 12, 2016, 06:36:11 AM »
Really. That's pretty horrible.

HappierAtHome

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5567 on: December 12, 2016, 06:39:26 AM »
I assumed they meant these ones, if you are on facebook and just type "i'm looking for" there is a whole page where someone makes them with just about every name imaginable. I have seen heaps in my news feed the last few days

A few of my cousins have just posted saying that they will unfriend anyone who shares or likes these memes. Good on them!

economista

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5568 on: December 12, 2016, 08:53:31 AM »
A lot of my family members and friends from high school are posting those and they make me upset every time I see them.  My news feed has been full of them all weekend and it doesn't surprise me at all that the people posting them are the same ones that have been filling up my feed with pro-trump garbage for the past 6 months.  They are obviously people who don't care about others.  I've been contemplating making a post about how awful it is and how you are an awful person if you participate, but I don't want to end up in a fight.  I'm going to approach it like I did the political stuff, and just ignore it all.

Making Cookies

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5569 on: December 12, 2016, 09:31:44 AM »
Just quit Facebook and let the mean people have it to themselves.

Fishingmn

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5570 on: December 12, 2016, 10:19:39 AM »
If you're going to use Facebook I highly recommend the Facebook Purity add in. It's free and totally cleans up all of the crap.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5571 on: December 12, 2016, 11:25:29 AM »
If you're going to use Facebook I highly recommend the Facebook Purity add in. It's free and totally cleans up all of the crap.
Seconded, except it's called "Fluff Busting Purity" for trademark reasons :)  No ads, no "sponsored" posts, and tons of ways you can customize (i.e. remove the junk) your feed.

frooglepoodle

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5572 on: December 12, 2016, 11:50:58 AM »
If you're going to use Facebook I highly recommend the Facebook Purity add in. It's free and totally cleans up all of the crap.
Seconded, except it's called "Fluff Busting Purity" for trademark reasons :)  No ads, no "sponsored" posts, and tons of ways you can customize (i.e. remove the junk) your feed.

Thank you for the suggestion! I could have used this leading up to the election.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5573 on: December 12, 2016, 11:57:36 AM »
I don't get it.. the ass one is insulting, but the other two?  Why would it be insulting that someone is looking for Chris?  Or is the point that by tagging them you are saying Chris is ugly? 

With This Herring

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5574 on: December 12, 2016, 12:15:24 PM »
Background for people who don't use Facebook:
Normally, tagging a picture with someone's name means that you are indicating the location of that person in that photo.  A picture of three people would be tagged with three names, one for each face.  You can only tag someone if one of you has accepted the other's "friend" request.  When you are tagged in a photo, a notification ends up on your Facebook dashboard (or whatever it is called), so normally getting a third party to tag a photo can be a good way to point out to tagged person that they appear in the photo/person who posted photo is looking for them.

I don't get it.. the ass one is insulting, but the other two?  Why would it be insulting that someone is looking for Chris?  Or is the point that by tagging them you are saying Chris is ugly?

The person who has posted the photo is implying both that the woman in the photo is ugly and that Chris is therefore ugly and/or looks like the opposite sex.

I feel bad for these people whose personal photographs end up as internet meme fodder.

Paul der Krake

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5575 on: December 12, 2016, 03:13:48 PM »
Are y'all seriously explaining what memes are to someone with 5000+ posts whose avatar is a dragon having sex with a car?

merula

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5576 on: December 12, 2016, 03:24:30 PM »
Is there a way to have your avatar show as different things to different people? Because the dragon car has been replaced by 12 yellow posts-a-lot boxes for me.

Chris22

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5577 on: December 12, 2016, 03:36:06 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

MOD NOTE: Body shaming language does fall under the "Don't be a jerk" forum rules.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2016, 07:04:08 PM by swick »

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5578 on: December 12, 2016, 04:05:07 PM »
Are y'all seriously explaining what memes are to someone with 5000+ posts whose avatar is a dragon having sex with a car?

I didn't know that meme!  I'm not Facebook friends with that kinda crowd I guess

Is there a way to have your avatar show as different things to different people? Because the dragon car has been replaced by 12 yellow posts-a-lot boxes for me.

No, maybe a caching issue or he just remembers.  Does everyone miss the dragoon?  It's still in my sig I think

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5579 on: December 12, 2016, 05:35:45 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

How about we don't refer to people as fat chicks?

Lets refer to them as "g-dogs" MOD NOTE: Joking or not, context is not always clear on the internets, Let's try to keep this one one the more pleasant places on the interwebs, k?
« Last Edit: December 12, 2016, 07:06:57 PM by swick »

LeRainDrop

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5580 on: December 12, 2016, 06:29:26 PM »
Is there a way to have your avatar show as different things to different people? Because the dragon car has been replaced by 12 yellow posts-a-lot boxes for me.

No, maybe a caching issue or he just remembers.  Does everyone miss the dragoon?  It's still in my sig I think

Yes, I miss the dragon.  Your last yellow box, the one that's out of alignment, still makes me twitch.

gimp

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5581 on: December 12, 2016, 07:28:05 PM »
I can't be the only one here to think these are pretty funny.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5582 on: December 12, 2016, 08:44:39 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

How about we don't refer to people as fat chicks?

Lets refer to them as "g-dogs"

I know that's meant as funny, and usually you are hilarious. But this time it feels like you are just trying to be hurtful. Was that your point?

Are you not a person?

Chris22

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5583 on: December 12, 2016, 08:45:57 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

MOD NOTE: Body shaming language does fall under the "Don't be a jerk" forum rules.

Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.

nnls

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5584 on: December 12, 2016, 09:25:31 PM »
I can't be the only one here to think these are pretty funny.

One of the people who is featured in one of them pointed out how it can be pretty hurtful

http://www.sbs.com.au/topics/life/health/article/2016/12/13/when-meme-fires-back-i-wouldnt-wish-it-my-worst-enemy

Paul der Krake

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5585 on: December 12, 2016, 09:29:10 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

MOD NOTE: Body shaming language does fall under the "Don't be a jerk" forum rules.

Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.
You were moderated for the gratuitous insult. If you're going to criticize people for their lifestyle choices, it needs a broader articulated argument. The image you responded to didn't exactly invite a discussion of the merits of controlling one's diet.

Chris22

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5586 on: December 12, 2016, 09:35:05 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

MOD NOTE: Body shaming language does fall under the "Don't be a jerk" forum rules.

Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.
You were moderated for the gratuitous insult. If you're going to criticize people for their lifestyle choices, it needs a broader articulated argument. The image you responded to didn't exactly invite a discussion of the merits of controlling one's diet.

That's a laugh. Broader articulated argument?  On here?  Sure. They're playing favorites and enforcing extremely selectively. Own it.

LeRainDrop

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5587 on: December 12, 2016, 09:46:17 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

MOD NOTE: Body shaming language does fall under the "Don't be a jerk" forum rules.

Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.
You were moderated for the gratuitous insult. If you're going to criticize people for their lifestyle choices, it needs a broader articulated argument. The image you responded to didn't exactly invite a discussion of the merits of controlling one's diet.

That's a laugh. Broader articulated argument?  On here?  Sure. They're playing favorites and enforcing extremely selectively. Own it.

This subforum, "Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy," is about laughing at people's poor financial decisions, but I don't believe it is about laughing at their body shape, weight, or physical attractiveness.  Is this distinction not obvious?

Chris22

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5588 on: December 12, 2016, 09:48:06 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

MOD NOTE: Body shaming language does fall under the "Don't be a jerk" forum rules.

Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.
You were moderated for the gratuitous insult. If you're going to criticize people for their lifestyle choices, it needs a broader articulated argument. The image you responded to didn't exactly invite a discussion of the merits of controlling one's diet.

That's a laugh. Broader articulated argument?  On here?  Sure. They're playing favorites and enforcing extremely selectively. Own it.

This subforum, "Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy," is about laughing at people's poor financial decisions, but I don't believe it is about laughing at their body shape, weight, or physical attractiveness.  Is this distinction not obvious?

It's about ridiculing and passing judgement. Let's not pretend one is noble and one offensive.

swick

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5589 on: December 12, 2016, 09:51:02 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

MOD NOTE: Body shaming language does fall under the "Don't be a jerk" forum rules.

Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.
You were moderated for the gratuitous insult. If you're going to criticize people for their lifestyle choices, it needs a broader articulated argument. The image you responded to didn't exactly invite a discussion of the merits of controlling one's diet.

That's a laugh. Broader articulated argument?  On here?  Sure. They're playing favorites and enforcing extremely selectively. Own it.

MOD NOTE: It's not a matter of playing favorites. You get reported by several people, we take a look and see if the conversation does anything to add to the community (this whole little offshoot doesn't) so under our very few rules, that we do keep rather loose, you were being a jerk. Now you're being a straight up ass and I'm also going to own the fact that I'm about to issue you a temporary ban, again, as per our forum rules. If you don't like the moderating style, you don't have to be here.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5590 on: December 12, 2016, 09:56:50 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

MOD NOTE: Body shaming language does fall under the "Don't be a jerk" forum rules.

Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.
You were moderated for the gratuitous insult. If you're going to criticize people for their lifestyle choices, it needs a broader articulated argument. The image you responded to didn't exactly invite a discussion of the merits of controlling one's diet.

That's a laugh. Broader articulated argument?  On here?  Sure. They're playing favorites and enforcing extremely selectively. Own it.

This subforum, "Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy," is about laughing at people's poor financial decisions, but I don't believe it is about laughing at their body shape, weight, or physical attractiveness.  Is this distinction not obvious?

I think it should be fine to give out face punches for being unfit in this forum, and I'll take mine just as I take my financial face punches.  But of course we give these face punches out of love, right?

Quote
Physical fitness may sound rather different than financial independence, but itís actually the same thing Ė it is control over your mind, which means it is part of Mustachianism. Because I care for you, I must ensure that you end up healthy and fit just as I must ensure that you become wealthy at a young age.
-MMM

gimp

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5591 on: December 12, 2016, 10:03:45 PM »
Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.

Yeah, I gotta agree here. "Facepunches" and such.

I love how on this forum, we can mock those who spend into catastrophe, but not those who eat into catastrophe. Obviously they're so different, not both basic elements of self control.

swick

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5592 on: December 12, 2016, 10:22:31 PM »
Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.

Yeah, I gotta agree here. "Facepunches" and such.

I love how on this forum, we can mock those who spend into catastrophe, but not those who eat into catastrophe. Obviously they're so different, not both basic elements of self control.

Mod Hat: There are a whole host of reasons that people are bigger that have nothing to do with eating unhealthy. There are people with hormonal imbalances and other medical issues that are metabolically healthier than many skinny people. If you think it is always all about self-control then you should educate yourself to some of the other issues that may play a role.

There are memes being shared of people who probably didn't give their permission to be used, I highly doubt they signed a model release.

There are memes on this thread of people who have physical issues that have nothing to do with their self-control as well.

The bottom line is there is enough of that crap everywhere else, we don't need it here. It does NOTHING for our community, and we are drawing slightly firmer lines after all the crap that has happened on the forums in the wake of the US elections. The bottom line is we wish to maintain a certain amount of human decency, which unfortunately is in short supply these days.


dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5593 on: December 12, 2016, 10:38:16 PM »
Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.

Yeah, I gotta agree here. "Facepunches" and such.

I love how on this forum, we can mock those who spend into catastrophe, but not those who eat into catastrophe. Obviously they're so different, not both basic elements of self control.

Mod Hat: There are a whole host of reasons that people are bigger that have nothing to do with eating unhealthy. There are people with hormonal imbalances and other medical issues that are metabolically healthier than many skinny people. If you think it is always all about self-control then you should educate yourself to some of the other issues that may play a role.

I'm sure quite a few of the people we've made fun of here have serious mental illness that causes their ridiculous spending, but it apparently gets a pass despite the fact that they do not give their permission to be made fun of.

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There are memes being shared of people who probably didn't give their permission to be used, I highly doubt they signed a model release.


Laywer hat: A model release is irrelvant

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There are memes on this thread of people who have physical issues that have nothing to do with their self-control as well.

Those are just examples of terrible memes, the poster was not advocating their use, quite the opposite

Quote
The bottom line is there is enough of that crap everywhere else, we don't need it here. It does NOTHING for our community, and we are drawing slightly firmer lines after all the crap that has happened on the forums in the wake of the US elections. The bottom line is we wish to maintain a certain amount of human decency, which unfortunately is in short supply these days.

OK, as long as you admit that you are changing standards from the previous status quo.  I suggest you lock the entire Hall of Shame if you don't want us making fun of people.

englyn

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5594 on: December 12, 2016, 10:44:39 PM »
Making fun of behaviour is what we're usually doing here.
You can mock people's spending habits, but mocking someone's mental illness directly would be being a jerk.
You could possibly mock people's eating habits, but mocking someone's appearance is being a jerk.
No standards change involved.

HappierAtHome

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5595 on: December 12, 2016, 10:45:56 PM »
That's a laugh. Broader articulated argument?  On here?  Sure. They're playing favorites and enforcing extremely selectively. Own it.

If you see something that you believe isn't in the spirit of the forums, hit the 'report to moderator' button and write in an explanation of why you think it's an issue. It's that simple, and it's much more useful than complaining that you think the moderating is unfair or unbalanced. It takes ten seconds, and it means you're part of the solution rather than part of the problem.

Making fun of behaviour is what we're usually doing here.
You can mock people's spending habits, but mocking someone's mental illness directly would be being a jerk.
You could possibly mock people's eating habits, but mocking someone's appearance is being a jerk.
No standards change involved.

+1

swick

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5596 on: December 12, 2016, 10:53:15 PM »

OK, as long as you admit that you are changing standards from the previous status quo.  I suggest you lock the entire Hall of Shame if you don't want us making fun of people.

Mod hat: There have been discussions on doing that. We mods are a rather pragmatic bunch, and have always felt that for the most part the people in this community are pretty good at moderating themselves, knowing what is and isn't appropriate, what adds to the community and what doesn't. Things have changed, it could be a variety of things. The community has grown substantially larger, there is just a lack of common courtesy these days, who knows?

Things need to be examined, so the questions I would put forth to you is what do you see this community being? What is your vision for it? (which should be a separate thread) Feel free to start one if you feel like responding.

gimp

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5597 on: December 12, 2016, 11:03:41 PM »
Mod Hat: There are a whole host of reasons that people are bigger that have nothing to do with eating unhealthy. There are people with hormonal imbalances and other medical issues that are metabolically healthier than many skinny people. If you think it is always all about self-control then you should educate yourself to some of the other issues that may play a role.

There are a whole host of reasons that people spend too much money and end up broke that have nothing to do with spending self control. There are people with sick children, sick parents, people who lose their job and can't find work for a very long time, and can still be more frugal than people with good savings. If you think it is always about self-control then you should educate yourself to some of the other issues that may play a role.

If you think this is a strawman, peruse this forum. You see tons of people mocking poor people for being poor. Saying it's due to their life choices. Sure, there's some push back, but you don't have mods editing posts saying that those on welfare are mooches. Why not?



Or if that's still not too on the nose for you - the overwhelming majority do not have thyroid conditions. The natural metabolic rates of adults vary at most by about 200 kcal per day. The idea of "fat and healthy" does not exist. Being skinny doesn't make you magically healthy, but I guarantee you that the vast majority of healthy weight adults in first world countries are significantly healthier than the vast majority of the overweight, who are in turn significantly healthier than the obese.

To make excuses for one group, while mocking the other, is hypocrisy. You're an intelligent fellow, you know it's true. I get that you're trying to be nice, but this is an entire forum dedicated to mocking the life choices of other people.

Let's make it cleaner cut.

If you know someone who is in debt due to poor spending habits, and they buy a new TV for christmas, do you mock them?
If you know someone who is obese due to poor eating habits, and they eat two cheeseburgers for lunch every day, do you mock them?
« Last Edit: December 12, 2016, 11:06:59 PM by gimp »

swick

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5598 on: December 12, 2016, 11:31:17 PM »
Mod Hat: There are a whole host of reasons that people are bigger that have nothing to do with eating unhealthy. There are people with hormonal imbalances and other medical issues that are metabolically healthier than many skinny people. If you think it is always all about self-control then you should educate yourself to some of the other issues that may play a role.

There are a whole host of reasons that people spend too much money and end up broke that have nothing to do with spending self control. There are people with sick children, sick parents, people who lose their job and can't find work for a very long time, and can still be more frugal than people with good savings. If you think it is always about self-control then you should educate yourself to some of the other issues that may play a role.

If you think this is a strawman, peruse this forum. You see tons of people mocking poor people for being poor. Saying it's due to their life choices. Sure, there's some push back, but you don't have mods editing posts saying that those on welfare are mooches. Why not?


Or if that's still not too on the nose for you - the overwhelming majority do not have thyroid conditions. The natural metabolic rates of adults vary at most by about 200 kcal per day. The idea of "fat and healthy" does not exist. Being skinny doesn't make you magically healthy, but I guarantee you that the vast majority of healthy weight adults in first world countries are significantly healthier than the vast majority of the overweight, who are in turn significantly healthier than the obese.

To make excuses for one group, while mocking the other, is hypocrisy. You're an intelligent fellow, you know it's true. I get that you're trying to be nice, but this is an entire forum dedicated to mocking the life choices of other people.

Let's make it cleaner cut.

If you know someone who is in debt due to poor spending habits, and they buy a new TV for christmas, do you mock them?
If you know someone who is obese due to poor eating habits, and they eat two cheeseburgers for lunch every day, do you mock them?

You're  both trying to make this personal and make sweeping generalizations. If people are mocking others for being poor and it is reported we will take a look at it. There are 3 active, VOLUNTEER Mods, who quite frankly have better things to do than to police grown adults. We can't be everywhere and don't want to be spending all of our time on the forums with heavy-handed moderating. We've always tried to take a light hand in moderating and let people work out their own issues when they can. Our work load has increased dramatically, so perhaps it is time to evolve or redefine what is acceptable and make it less ambiguous.

I never made the claim that I think fat = healthy, just that there is more to consider than self-control, as it is with the poor people you described. 

This sub-forum maybe called Shame and Comedy but if it is only about people making fun of each other, then yeah it should probably be shut down.

In the beginning, it was tongue in cheek, people poked light fun at others and themselves, or used wider media examples to spark interesting, engaging and educational conversations. If It is no longer doing any of that and has become an arena for mud-slinging, then maybe it does need to be reconsidered.

But I will answer your questions for you, since you made them so clean cut.

The answer to both is no. I personally don't think mockery does much. It doesn't help them, it doesn't make me feel better, it doesn't get us asking or searching for the deeper "why." I won't say that I have never done it, but I'd like to think I'm learning and growing as a person and finding less insecurity in myself that needs to hide behind mocking someone else.

« Last Edit: December 13, 2016, 12:01:04 AM by swick »

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5599 on: December 13, 2016, 12:24:53 AM »

OK, as long as you admit that you are changing standards from the previous status quo.  I suggest you lock the entire Hall of Shame if you don't want us making fun of people.

Mod hat: There have been discussions on doing that. We mods are a rather pragmatic bunch, and have always felt that for the most part the people in this community are pretty good at moderating themselves, knowing what is and isn't appropriate, what adds to the community and what doesn't. Things have changed, it could be a variety of things. The community has grown substantially larger, there is just a lack of common courtesy these days, who knows?

Things need to be examined, so the questions I would put forth to you is what do you see this community being? What is your vision for it? (which should be a separate thread) Feel free to start one if you feel like responding.

I haven't seen a huge change in the community, but maybe that's because I don't read all the posts anymore.  Maybe you should just put a trigger warning on the entire Hall of Shame and go back to those better things you have to do.  I'll happily volunteer to meta-moderate and reverse some of the capricious moderation I've seen.

I agree personal attacks between forum members should be discouraged, but honestly mocking real life people, personally known by a forum member, is the bread and butter of this very thread. 

Your suggestion that we flag such rampant financial mockery is equivalent to saying "oh yeah, we lowered Jill's pay because she's a female but feel free to flag any male coworkers and we'll lower their pay too."  Gimp isn't asking for equal heavyhandedness in moderation, but equal lighthandedness.

Or if you prefer separate but equal, we can start a separate thread "Overheard at the Dairy Queen"

edit: I think you are right that the Hall started out more broadly mocking articles and consumerist ideals in general (e.g. commercials and such) so maybe I can see where you are thinking the character has gotten more sinister/catty

Just to be clear, is it now the official moderator position that nobody on the MMM forum is allowed to refer to anybody (real or imaginary) as "fat," a "chick," or god forbid both?

Making fun of behaviour is what we're usually doing here.
You can mock people's spending habits, but mocking someone's mental illness directly would be being a jerk.
You could possibly mock people's eating habits, but mocking someone's appearance is being a jerk.
No standards change involved.

First, swick explicitly said the mods are changing the standards: "we are drawing slightly firmer lines"

Second, this is a straw man since nobody mocked anybody's appearance at all, unless as above "fat chick" is a mockery.

But then, by your standard, it would be fine to mock "the woman with poor eating habits that led to her obesity"?

And no illness can make you fat if you don't eat too much.  Illness can make it harder to eat less, but it can't magically add fat to your frame.  Thus, anyone who is fat has a willpower problem, even if it's an excusable one.  Again, I say this as a person with an occasional willpower problem.
« Last Edit: December 13, 2016, 01:11:41 AM by dragoncar »