Overheard on Facebook

[Fae]

Not from Facebook, but I had to share what my husband told me yesterday. My husband and some of his friends went camping the week of Memorial Day. They started talking about money and when my husband mentioned how much personal spending money he gets every month ($400, this includes a few small bills that he pays and any spending on booze or restaurants) his friends freaked out because......... that wasn't enough money, how could he possibly have any fun or do anything on that amount?!!
These guys make really good money, like really good money (100k-200k) but between the cars, vacations, and "toys",  they'll be lucky to retire at 67.

???????? 400$ OMFG!

(For comparison: my husband and I make over 100K, and generally spend 50-60$/month on personal stuff - books for me, music for him, the occasional coffee or lunch out with friends... And this is not feeling deprived. This is genuinely how much I want to spend on a few books and a few lunches with friends. Exactly how much free time am I supposed to have that needs filling???)

Caveat: work pays for half my cell phone and my husband's is completely paid for by his work, and neither of us watch much TV but we keep netflix around as a family expense because sometimes a half hour of Octonauts is what lets us get dinner ready and chores done.

Yep, $400 is a ridiculous amount of money, which is why my eyes about popped out when I heard his friends thought that was peanuts. That money also goes for things you're probably not including in your personal spending money like the gas for his car, his haircuts, netflix, yearly member pass to local museum/village. What makes it worse, he didn't mention any of that to his friends, they thought that was the amount he can spend on whatever.

[Kitsune]

Not from Facebook, but I had to share what my husband told me yesterday. My husband and some of his friends went camping the week of Memorial Day. They started talking about money and when my husband mentioned how much personal spending money he gets every month ($400, this includes a few small bills that he pays and any spending on booze or restaurants) his friends freaked out because......... that wasn't enough money, how could he possibly have any fun or do anything on that amount?!!
These guys make really good money, like really good money (100k-200k) but between the cars, vacations, and "toys",  they'll be lucky to retire at 67.

???????? 400$ OMFG!

(For comparison: my husband and I make over 100K, and generally spend 50-60$/month on personal stuff - books for me, music for him, the occasional coffee or lunch out with friends... And this is not feeling deprived. This is genuinely how much I want to spend on a few books and a few lunches with friends. Exactly how much free time am I supposed to have that needs filling???)

Caveat: work pays for half my cell phone and my husband's is completely paid for by his work, and neither of us watch much TV but we keep netflix around as a family expense because sometimes a half hour of Octonauts is what lets us get dinner ready and chores done.

Yep, $400 is a ridiculous amount of money, which is why my eyes about popped out when I heard his friends thought that was peanuts. That money also goes for things you're probably not including in your personal spending money like the gas for his car, his haircuts, netflix, yearly member pass to local museum/village. What makes it worse, he didn't mention any of that to his friends, they thought that was the amount he can spend on whatever.

Yeah, we live in the country and commute to work together (dropping the kids off at daycare and school on the way), so gas is a family expense. Haircuts are actually part of the personal budget, but my husband has hair down to his waist and asks me for a trim when he gets split ends, and I get 22$ haircuts twice a year, so ... minimal impact. And local passes to whatever do get covered by our personal budget, so... barring gas, that's not that different, and the gas is a function of location, for us, rather than choice (like, we can't CHOOSE public transit to work, we'd have to choose to move).

And to be fair: if one month one of us is like 'I wanna do Expensive Thing', then we up the budget for that month. Which has happened... twice, maybe? In 4 years of finance tracking. Let's say it's not usual enough to budget more tightly.

[Arbitrage]

Not from Facebook, but I had to share what my husband told me yesterday. My husband and some of his friends went camping the week of Memorial Day. They started talking about money and when my husband mentioned how much personal spending money he gets every month ($400, this includes a few small bills that he pays and any spending on booze or restaurants) his friends freaked out because......... that wasn't enough money, how could he possibly have any fun or do anything on that amount?!!
These guys make really good money, like really good money (100k-200k) but between the cars, vacations, and "toys",  they'll be lucky to retire at 67.

???????? 400$ OMFG!

(For comparison: my husband and I make over 100K, and generally spend 50-60$/month on personal stuff - books for me, music for him, the occasional coffee or lunch out with friends... And this is not feeling deprived. This is genuinely how much I want to spend on a few books and a few lunches with friends. Exactly how much free time am I supposed to have that needs filling???)

Caveat: work pays for half my cell phone and my husband's is completely paid for by his work, and neither of us watch much TV but we keep netflix around as a family expense because sometimes a half hour of Octonauts is what lets us get dinner ready and chores done.

Yeah, we're budgeted $150/month each, but that includes things like almost all clothing and any meals out/activities without the rest of the family.  The only reason it's as high as $150 is because DW eats a lot of lunches out at work and I had to increase it to accommodate.  Aside from that, it's much closer to $50/month.  I'm building up quite a surplus currently.

$400 is a ton IMO, but I know there are plenty of people who spend that and much more. 

[mm1970]

I recently got dragged into a convo about babysitting. There's a mom asking a group what a reasonable price would be for a sitter for 4 kids 5 and under (three age 4, one infant).

Well, mostly the responses were $25-30 an hour, maybe $20.

But she didn't really like that.  So I pointed out that it's FOUR kids UNDER the age of 5.  The # of kids and the age of the kids matter.   Then she and two others went on a HUGE rant about how can ANYONE afford to go out, and that's ridiculous.

It moved on to "well, preschool teachers get $15 / hour for 8 kids under 5!"

I mean, aside from the fact that preschool teachers get benefits AND experienced ones get more than that AND they work close to full time - what are you expecting?  Because my babysitter is/was a preschool teacher.  She's in her 30's.  She's WELL WORTH the extra $ because she plays with the kids and they are asleep in their beds when we get home. 

She needs to make a living too, yes?  And $15 / hour is really peanuts here.  Cleaning ladies make $20+.

(FWIW, I was paying $15-18/hr for 2 kids who were 6 and 12).

I didn't SAY it (but thought about it): Look, you don't like the numbers, don't go out.  You find the unicorn willing to watch your four kids under five, and get them to bed, for $12-15 an hour?  Great, enjoy it.  Otherwise?  Find someone to swap with, or do what we did for 10 years.  Don't go out!  The sitters will tell you what they charge, pay it or stay home.

[solon]

Someone on nextdoor posted she is looking for a babysitter for a 1 and 4 year old, 7am-5pm, Monday-Friday, and she will pay $200/week.

That's 50 hours a week - for $4/hr - for two toddlers. There's no way she'll find any one like that.

[La Bibliotecaria Feroz]

Someone on nextdoor posted she is looking for a babysitter for a 1 and 4 year old, 7am-5pm, Monday-Friday, and she will pay $200/week.

That's 50 hours a week - for $4/hr - for two toddlers. There's no way she'll find any one like that.

She might actually be able to get an in-home daycare for that price, depending on the area. When my older son was about a year old, I paid $20/day.

[Redstone5]

I didn't get past the $200/week for groceries for a family of 4.

Yeah, that seemed excessive too.

I'm dying to understand how $200/week for a family of 4 can be excessive. How can you possibly eat well (not just subsist on rice & dried beans) with $1.20/person/meal, for example? My family of 2 (although we eat 3 people's worth, tall and active) struggles to hit $200/week. Best I can figure, the only way you can do it is to eat more cheap grains & cheap fats. We eat a lot of produce; even in season & on sale, it's not very good in calories per dollar.

Edit: I guess worth noting we refuse to buy anything made with soy or corn syrup. Mostly we make everything at home, but this does occasionally drive us to more expensive products.

The thing is, it is going to depend a LOT on:
- where you live
- what you eat
- how you shop
- time

I spent years whittling my grocery bill down and down and down.  Down to a science!

It's definitely changed a lot.  Last year we came in at $150/week for 4.  And that was HARD, yo!  This year, I cannot even get it under $170/week.  And my kids get free lunch at school!  But mm1970, why is this?

1.  I live in California.  Food is more expensive here because of higher overhead and gas.
2.  I live in California.  I have access to year round fresh produce.  So yes, while I *could* shop for vegetables exclusively at Sprouts and the 99 cent store (and save BANK), I don't.  I prefer, honestly, to get my produce from the local farmers.  Which costs more.  And we eat a LOT of it.  Because we can.  My produce cost, per week, is about $65-70.  Just produce.
3.  I have two boys.  They are getting bigger.
4.  I like to eat fresh food.  And on top of that, I balance organic/ free range.   And packaging.  I pay a little extra to buy my rice and nuts from the bulk bins, because I can use my own containers and not generate more plastic.
5.  I can't tolerate wheat anymore.  Wheat products are cheap.
6.  I'm kind of over it.  When I was super duper saving money?  Yep, I bought cheaper veggies, I made my own bread.  I can't even eat bread, so I don't make it anymore.  I'm super tired of being the only person who figures out what the fuck to make for dinner too.  So, I buy some things that are just easier to prep because I don't do much of the weekday cooking any more.  I work late almost every day.

I was just reading looking back on this thread and I had to comment.

I totally agree with you!

For over a decade I was solely responsible for feeding a family of 5 on $400 a month in our HCOL area, and it almost drove me insane. It was like a second job; checking 10 or more different flyers all the time, driving to shops all over town to pick up super deals when available, special trips to buy our meat from a local farmer, cooking even staples like yogurt, bread, etc myself, constantly researching ways to do it better and cheaper, lugging massive bags of bulk items home by myself when hugely pregnant LOL.

And the irony is, when I look back on it, I could have just worked an extra evening a week at a part-time job and come out ahead on the budget savings. And the fact that I actually made career sacrifices so that I could spend more time sourcing cheaper groceries is insane! I didn't realize it at the time, perhaps temporary insanity?, but I actually spent less time on my school work and studying for the LSAT to get into law school so I could devote my time to saving pennies at the grocery store instead.

I wonder what I could have accomplished in that time for myself in my career, instead of working miracles at budgeting only to hide from myself the fact that my spouse was irresponsible with money and my marriage was doomed.

I don't mean to imply that the effort isn't worthwhile, but I'm just suggesting that we shouldn't undervalue our own time in doing so.

As much as I love to be independent and resourceful, there is a reason why professional bakers have been a thing since the Mesopotamian era, because it's often cheaper and more cost effective and more environmentally-friendly to leave some things to the experts sometimes.

Do the math yourself and see if it makes sense in your situation!  The Tightwad Gazette books are great for help in doing your calculations and I can't recommend them highly enough. See if your library has them!!

Sorry about this off-topic rant!!

[mm1970]

Someone on nextdoor posted she is looking for a babysitter for a 1 and 4 year old, 7am-5pm, Monday-Friday, and she will pay $200/week.

That's 50 hours a week - for $4/hr - for two toddlers. There's no way she'll find any one like that.

She might actually be able to get an in-home daycare for that price, depending on the area. When my older son was about a year old, I paid $20/day.

Yes, but around here, when they are looking on FB for a babysitter, they want someone in their own home.  They aren't interested in "sharing" (aka, paying a licensed home daycare).

[Sugaree]

Someone on nextdoor posted she is looking for a babysitter for a 1 and 4 year old, 7am-5pm, Monday-Friday, and she will pay $200/week.

That's 50 hours a week - for $4/hr - for two toddlers. There's no way she'll find any one like that.

She might actually be able to get an in-home daycare for that price, depending on the area. When my older son was about a year old, I paid $20/day.

Yes, but around here, when they are looking on FB for a babysitter, they want someone in their own home.  They aren't interested in "sharing" (aka, paying a licensed home daycare).

Around here, that means that they are looking for a SAHM who will watch their kids in addition to her own.  The entire thing will be under the table.  And there will probably be at least three different people offering to do it.  But then again, $100/kid/week in this area is not *that* much lower than what a center will cost.

[DadJokes]

Someone on nextdoor posted she is looking for a babysitter for a 1 and 4 year old, 7am-5pm, Monday-Friday, and she will pay $200/week.

That's 50 hours a week - for $4/hr - for two toddlers. There's no way she'll find any one like that.

She might actually be able to get an in-home daycare for that price, depending on the area. When my older son was about a year old, I paid $20/day.

Yes, but around here, when they are looking on FB for a babysitter, they want someone in their own home.  They aren't interested in "sharing" (aka, paying a licensed home daycare).

Around here, that means that they are looking for a SAHM who will watch their kids in addition to her own.  The entire thing will be under the table.  And there will probably be at least three different people offering to do it.  But then again, $100/kid/week in this area is not *that* much lower than what a center will cost.

For the three months between when my wife went back to work and the start of summer, we paid a SAHM $25/day. Her kids were old enough to be in school, and she was bored. It worked out to be a great deal for us. It's certainly possible to get those kinds of prices.

[Goldielocks]

IDK... I still think this would be a hard sell for $10/day per kid, with one kid under 2 years old.   $30/day per kid was the going rate here 15 years ago, for kids over 30 months... with private homes taking them in at $20-$25/day.   per kid...

OTOH, $10/day per kid for before/ after school care can be had, fairly easily.  (older kids, part day)

[Imma]

Someone I know has just started a Gofundme page for a city trip. She is recently engaged so this will be her last trip as a single person which is apparantly a big deal. Begging people to donate money towards your vacation is shameless enough but I know for a fact she already went on two trips this year. Begging people for money for your third holiday this year is so bad I can't even find the words.

[SwordGuy]

I'm seeing more GoFundMe pleas for funds.

Several "So and so is broke, you should help them because they were so much fun in this club."

Yeah, I would have been more fun in that club, too, if I had spent all my money and time on it instead of providing for my (and my family's) future.   No thank you, you had good middle class jobs for way longer than we did.   We had to start a business to just to afford to participate in that club at all, why didn't you save?  If you had saved just the $1500 a year we made from that business for the 8 years we ran it and invested it 30 years ago, you would have solved your current funding problem and then some.

A tree fell and crushed both our cars.  GoFundMe!    You're grown-assed middle-aged adults, both of you have middle class jobs and you lived in government supplied housing as part of your job for years.   I'd loan a car for a few days till things settle down, but it's your own damn fault you never bothered to save enough to deal with this.  Where's your insurance?  That's what it's for.

No, if it was someone poor who asked for help, or someone just starting out, that would be different.   But some of these folks had decent jobs for 45 years and just plain chose not to save.

At least I don't have any FB friends who ask for funding to go on vacations.  Would be fun to comment on it, though.

[Uturn]

I saw one yesterday, and many people agreeing.

"I wish my bank account looked like my car odometer."

It broke my heart.

[zolotiyeruki]

I saw one yesterday, and many people agreeing.

"I wish my bank account looked like my car odometer."

It broke my heart.

Well, my car's odometer shows over 228,000, so I wouldn't mind if my bank account looked like that.  Well, as long as my retirement accounts remained untouched...

[Uturn]

I took bank account to mean net worth.  My car only has 80k, and if my actual bank account looked like that, I would be moving some money.

[Just Joe]

Hmmm, 10K miles every year aka $10K every year? No thanks... ;)

[Kyle Schuant]

I saw one yesterday, and many people agreeing.

"I wish my bank account looked like my car odometer."

It broke my heart.

Hmm. My car has about 14,500km on it, bought in November 2015.

I guess that's part of why my bank account is better than some.

[ender]

I saw one yesterday, and many people agreeing.

"I wish my bank account looked like my car odometer."

It broke my heart.

Well, my car's odometer shows over 228,000, so I wouldn't mind if my bank account looked like that.  Well, as long as my retirement accounts remained untouched...

Hah same.

[penguintroopers]

Given that facebook (at least used to be) a younger demographic, I can understand this sentiment as they haven't had the time to amass significant funds.

I'd happily take that arrangement, with no conditions about touching other retirement funds. Would you like to chose the 114k one, or the 132k?

[boy_bye]

Given that facebook (at least used to be) a younger demographic, I can understand this sentiment as they haven't had the time to amass significant funds.

It's all old people over there now, at least in the USA! The average age of a facebook user is 40.5 years old, and 65% are over the age of 35.

[TheGrimSqueaker]

Given that facebook (at least used to be) a younger demographic, I can understand this sentiment as they haven't had the time to amass significant funds.

I'd happily take that arrangement, with no conditions about touching other retirement funds. Would you like to chose the 114k one, or the 132k?

It used to be, but time passed and there weren't a lot of younger users joining so the curve keeps shifting upward.

[Sugaree]

Not exactly FB, but close enough:  I have gotten a series of emails from my credit union trying to tempt me into taking out a loan for a recreational vehicle at "Great Rates!"  What are these rates?  6% for 63 months on used RVs.  But wait, I can also take out a $2000 summer loan for....whatever....at "as low as" 2.9% for 12 months.  And if I act now, I can take advantage of the Summer-Skip-A-Payment offer and build up some extra interest by not paying July and August payments on any current loans I might have. 



No thank you.

[remizidae]

Not from Facebook, but I had to share what my husband told me yesterday. My husband and some of his friends went camping the week of Memorial Day. They started talking about money and when my husband mentioned how much personal spending money he gets every month ($400, this includes a few small bills that he pays and any spending on booze or restaurants) his friends freaked out because......... that wasn't enough money, how could he possibly have any fun or do anything on that amount?!!
These guys make really good money, like really good money (100k-200k) but between the cars, vacations, and "toys",  they'll be lucky to retire at 67.

???????? 400$ OMFG!

(For comparison: my husband and I make over 100K, and generally spend 50-60$/month on personal stuff - books for me, music for him, the occasional coffee or lunch out with friends... And this is not feeling deprived. This is genuinely how much I want to spend on a few books and a few lunches with friends. Exactly how much free time am I supposed to have that needs filling???)

Caveat: work pays for half my cell phone and my husband's is completely paid for by his work, and neither of us watch much TV but we keep netflix around as a family expense because sometimes a half hour of Octonauts is what lets us get dinner ready and chores done.

Yeah, we're budgeted $150/month each, but that includes things like almost all clothing and any meals out/activities without the rest of the family.  The only reason it's as high as $150 is because DW eats a lot of lunches out at work and I had to increase it to accommodate.  Aside from that, it's much closer to $50/month.  I'm building up quite a surplus currently.

$400 is a ton IMO, but I know there are plenty of people who spend that and much more.

I spend $600/month on discretionary stuff, and it’s all pretty mindful. Restaurants, special events and parties, clothing/hair/drycleaning, gym, public transit, gifts. I wouldn’t want to give any of that up. After all, who cares how much people spend on necessities vs. discretionary stuff if the savings rate is high enough?

[Freedom Invested]

Not on FB but wife is. Her friend's husband started a new business, with 7 employees right out of the gate.

Friend: "His grant was delayed because they changed the name of the business"
Wife: "Oh that sucks, how is he funding the operation?"
Friend: "Some investors put in money"
Wife: "Oh good, so he's not dealing with an emergency then"
Friend: "Right, thankfully he's got enough for the next 3 weeks"

#facepunch

Yikes, that is a company I wouldn't want to do work for or be employed by. Is anyone reading this going to be surprised when payroll doesn't get paid for awhile after those 3 weeks? Surprise! Grant delayed again for whatever reason so no pay guys! I'm all for entrepreneurship but this is reckless.

[bluebelle]

Not from Facebook, but I had to share what my husband told me yesterday. My husband and some of his friends went camping the week of Memorial Day. They started talking about money and when my husband mentioned how much personal spending money he gets every month ($400, this includes a few small bills that he pays and any spending on booze or restaurants) his friends freaked out because......... that wasn't enough money, how could he possibly have any fun or do anything on that amount?!!
These guys make really good money, like really good money (100k-200k) but between the cars, vacations, and "toys",  they'll be lucky to retire at 67.

???????? 400$ OMFG!

(For comparison: my husband and I make over 100K, and generally spend 50-60$/month on personal stuff - books for me, music for him, the occasional coffee or lunch out with friends... And this is not feeling deprived. This is genuinely how much I want to spend on a few books and a few lunches with friends. Exactly how much free time am I supposed to have that needs filling???)

Caveat: work pays for half my cell phone and my husband's is completely paid for by his work, and neither of us watch much TV but we keep netflix around as a family expense because sometimes a half hour of Octonauts is what lets us get dinner ready and chores done.

Yeah, we're budgeted $150/month each, but that includes things like almost all clothing and any meals out/activities without the rest of the family.  The only reason it's as high as $150 is because DW eats a lot of lunches out at work and I had to increase it to accommodate.  Aside from that, it's much closer to $50/month.  I'm building up quite a surplus currently.

$400 is a ton IMO, but I know there are plenty of people who spend that and much more.

I spend $600/month on discretionary stuff, and it’s all pretty mindful. Restaurants, special events and parties, clothing/hair/drycleaning, gym, public transit, gifts. I wouldn’t want to give any of that up. After all, who cares how much people spend on necessities vs. discretionary stuff if the savings rate is high enough?

You'll probably get criticized by someone on here (not me) about spending that much......my belief is that as long as you're making thoughtful decisions about how you spend your money and it adds value to your life, it's your money.   Also, if you're making $200K a year, spending less than 10% of your take home pay seems reasonable.....if you make $20K a year, spending 50% of your take home pay on discretionary things is not.
Also, what some folks call 'needs' really should be in the discretionary category.    A car may be a necessity, a $80K BMW is not.   Food is a necessity, t-bone steaks nightly is not. 

[Uturn]

I saw one yesterday, and many people agreeing.

"I wish my bank account looked like my car odometer."

It broke my heart.

Today he posted his new car, and the 7 miles on the odometer.  He mentioned they now match. 

[Davnasty]

I saw one yesterday, and many people agreeing.

"I wish my bank account looked like my car odometer."

It broke my heart.

Today he posted his new car, and the 7 miles on the odometer.  He mentioned they now match.

Ha. If it's true, well that's a little sad, but I can still appreciate a good callback joke

[Travis]

I posted to the ChooseFI Facebook group this morning how my new Korean telecomm insists I should have had a higher tier data plan just in case I go over the limit.  The lowest tier they offered was 2GB, but after a carefree month of Facebook, new apps, and navigation I didn't even break 600MB.  Most of the responses from other Facebook members were:

"I use 2, 4, 10, 15, 20, 26, 76, and 96GBs each month."  Only one of them said this was WiFi data.  Only one of them expressed concern over their cell phone costs.  All of this is coming from a group that is supposed to be trying to control costs and hack their lifestyle choices.



Edit: (regarding my 500MB/mo data usage) "great, but doesn’t work for anyone that wants to listen to music or watch videos throughout the work day."

I sat there shocked for an hour before I could formulate a response to that.

Edit: I was called a troll and making people angry for suggesting he put down the phone and get back to work.

[Travis]

Not finance related but I had to share...

We had a hurricane go up the west coast of Korea this afternoon.  Heavy winds swept up the peninsula.  On base we lost a number of trees and a wood/metal/brick barbecue gazebo collapsed.  Conversation on the photo on Facebook went like this:

Soldier A: Is that by our barracks?
Soldier B: Yep.
Soldier A: Jesus.
Soldier B: Nope, I think this will take more than 3 days to come back.

[DadJokes]

Post from someone today:

Have to rant. So i worked a 15 hr day on the way home i order jersey mikes through doordash. 4 sandwiches 78.00 with 7.00 tip. It gets there before i got home my daughter excepted it not know what we ordered. Get home its 30.00.worth of chinese. We call doordash refunded our money still have not eaten dinner its 9pm. Call jersey mikes nothing they can do. Call rice box the customer that the order we have is there. So.we talk to him said door dash canceled there order. So 9 pm at night no dinner and someone is enjoying our cheesesteaks.  Never again doordash. Nor we deliver.

$85 to get four sandwiches delivered?

He gets the money refunded and now has free Chinese food. That sounds like an awesome deal to me, but he says down in the comments that they didn’t want Chinese and threw it away. At least he is getting skewered in the comments for being such a spendypants.

[Davnasty]

Post from someone today:

Have to rant. So i worked a 15 hr day on the way home i order jersey mikes through doordash. 4 sandwiches 78.00 with 7.00 tip. It gets there before i got home my daughter excepted it not know what we ordered. Get home its 30.00.worth of chinese. We call doordash refunded our money still have not eaten dinner its 9pm. Call jersey mikes nothing they can do. Call rice box the customer that the order we have is there. So.we talk to him said door dash canceled there order. So 9 pm at night no dinner and someone is enjoying our cheesesteaks.  Never again doordash. Nor we deliver.

$85 to get four sandwiches delivered?

He gets the money refunded and now has free Chinese food. That sounds like an awesome deal to me, but he says down in the comments that they didn’t want Chinese and threw it away. At least he is getting skewered in the comments for being such a spendypants.

...

I keep typing something and then deleting it because there are too many expletives.

And how much does doordash cost? I thought even their Jersey Mike's giant subs are around $10.

ETA: I was mixing up Jimmy John's and Jersey Mike's. Also, the way I wrote this may have been confusing.

[dragoncar]

Post from someone today:

Have to rant. So i worked a 15 hr day on the way home i order jersey mikes through doordash. 4 sandwiches 78.00 with 7.00 tip. It gets there before i got home my daughter excepted it not know what we ordered. Get home its 30.00.worth of chinese. We call doordash refunded our money still have not eaten dinner its 9pm. Call jersey mikes nothing they can do. Call rice box the customer that the order we have is there. So.we talk to him said door dash canceled there order. So 9 pm at night no dinner and someone is enjoying our cheesesteaks.  Never again doordash. Nor we deliver.

$85 to get four sandwiches delivered?

He gets the money refunded and now has free Chinese food. That sounds like an awesome deal to me, but he says down in the comments that they didn’t want Chinese and threw it away. At least he is getting skewered in the comments for being such a spendypants.

I was gonna question the tip amount but then I remembered doordash was caught stealing the tips anyways.  So I guess either way it’s wrong

[AerynLee]

Not on FB but this is as good a place as any to share

While trying to remember if he'd paid his mortgage yet (on the third so not late)

"If I haven't paid it by the 15th I get a phone call from my bank asking if everything's okay and if there's a reason I haven't paid yet. Ask me how I know. In my defense that's only happened like twice in the last three years and the last time I just forgot to pay. It's only a $35 fee if I'm late"

He's owned the house 10 years and I know he's gotten much better at finances in the 5ish years I've known him so I shudder to think of how often it happened before the "last three years"

I wanted to say that I've never had a late payment in the 10 years we've owned a home but with other friends around it might have come across as shaming. I did mention autopay but he's still in the mindset of not having enough money and wanting to control when the payment happens

[joleran]

I keep typing something and then deleting it because there are too many expletives.

And how much does doordash cost? I thought even their giant subs are around $10.

Doordash is a meal delivery service, they take restaurants menus and post them on their own site with a (sometimes hefty) markup and have their drivers deliver it.

[partgypsy]

I still get a little mad when I order chinese and it's 35 for the three of us, but it is an occasional treat. $85 for Jimmie Johns?!? What the? I actually loved their gargantuan sandwiches, but after hearing about the big game hunting a couple years ago, no Jimmie Johns for me. Same for Papa Johns. No reason to be glorifying shooting endangered animals for sport.

[Just Joe]

Post from someone today:

Have to rant. So i worked a 15 hr day on the way home i order jersey mikes through doordash. 4 sandwiches 78.00 with 7.00 tip. It gets there before i got home my daughter excepted it not know what we ordered. Get home its 30.00.worth of chinese. We call doordash refunded our money still have not eaten dinner its 9pm. Call jersey mikes nothing they can do. Call rice box the customer that the order we have is there. So.we talk to him said door dash canceled there order. So 9 pm at night no dinner and someone is enjoying our cheesesteaks.  Never again doordash. Nor we deliver.

$85 to get four sandwiches delivered?

He gets the money refunded and now has free Chinese food. That sounds like an awesome deal to me, but he says down in the comments that they didn’t want Chinese and threw it away. At least he is getting skewered in the comments for being such a spendypants.

...

I keep typing something and then deleting it because there are too many expletives.

And how much does doordash cost? I thought even their Jersey Mike's giant subs are around $10.

ETA: I was mixing up Jimmy John's and Jersey Mike's. Also, the way I wrote this may have been confusing.

Reminds me of the Amazon reviews where the unhappy customer chooses to throw away expensive things they were not happy with. Why? Ebay it. Return it. Give it away?

Free Chinese? Wahoo!

[DadJokes]

I made the mistake of suggesting that he might not have to work 15 hour days if he didn't spend $80 on a single meal. Heck, that's ~2.8 hours of work for me.

I didn't really mean for it to be rude (was aiming for helpful suggestion), but he didn't take it that way.

[SwordGuy]

I made the mistake of suggesting that he might not have to work 15 hour days if he didn't spend $80 on a single meal. Heck, that's ~2.8 hours of work for me.

I didn't really mean for it to be rude (was aiming for helpful suggestion), but he didn't take it that way.

Regardless of how you sugar-coated it, you were still pointing out in public that he's a dumbass.   Of course he didn't like it.

(Doesn't mean you shouldn't point it out.   Just don't be surprised at the result.)

That's one reason why so many people later in life are so resistant to learning about FIRE -- to do so requires them learning that the way they've been doing things for decades was not a good decision; they squandered a lot of wealth and opportunities and much of their "bad luck" was actually the result of stupid decisions on their part.  They would rather continue being broke than admit that.

[JestJes]

I made the mistake of suggesting that he might not have to work 15 hour days if he didn't spend $80 on a single meal. Heck, that's ~2.8 hours of work for me.

I didn't really mean for it to be rude (was aiming for helpful suggestion), but he didn't take it that way.

Yeah the idea of "work hard, play hard" is almost always a recipe for disaster because no one stops spending if for some reason they don't have the same money coming in. Bad year and no bonus? You still have to pay your outrageous mortgage and car lease.

I have a lot of sympathy for these people though. It seem so easy to stop spending for the naturally frugal but for many people it means unlearning year of bad money habits and building an entirely new relationship with money. Its huge transformation if you have't ever gone through it. For me I was like "Shit all these things I thought were necessities are actually luxuries?!" I had to completely restructure my life and was lucky enough to have a partner who was on board but I did lose almost all of my "friends" in the process. I can't imagine how hard it would have been to be much older and have kids with someone who wasn't on board with FIRE.

I wouldn't go back and change a thing but I always chaff when people say how easy it is. Its like dieting. Its simple math calories in vs calories out but when you look at America, how many people are still overweight? How many people fall for scam dieting programs that only make their wallets lighter. Of course its simple once you figure it out, but for people who are lost it seems very overwhelming.

Sorry to get too deep on a funny board lol

[Kazyan]

Yeah the idea of "work hard, play hard" is almost always a recipe for disaster because no one stops spending if for some reason they don't have the same money coming in. Bad year and no bonus? You still have to pay your outrageous mortgage and car lease.

I have a lot of sympathy for these people though. It seem so easy to stop spending for the naturally frugal but for many people it means unlearning year of bad money habits and building an entirely new relationship with money. Its huge transformation if you have't ever gone through it. For me I was like "Shit all these things I thought were necessities are actually luxuries?!" I had to completely restructure my life and was lucky enough to have a partner who was on board but I did lose almost all of my "friends" in the process. I can't imagine how hard it would have been to be much older and have kids with someone who wasn't on board with FIRE.

I wouldn't go back and change a thing but I always chaff when people say how easy it is. Its like dieting. Its simple math calories in vs calories out but when you look at America, how many people are still overweight? How many people fall for scam dieting programs that only make their wallets lighter. Of course its simple once you figure it out, but for people who are lost it seems very overwhelming.

Sorry to get too deep on a funny board lol

Yeah, an unfortunate part of life is that you can know exactly how the math works, but it won't help if your psychology isn't equipped to act on it. And people behave differently in different parts of life, too; humans aren't consistent. e.g. I have a ~64% savings rate and 50 pounds of obesity that is unlikely to go away anytime soon. So I have a variable amount of sympathy for spendypants suckers even while their trainwrecks entertain us all.

[JestJes]

Yeah the idea of "work hard, play hard" is almost always a recipe for disaster because no one stops spending if for some reason they don't have the same money coming in. Bad year and no bonus? You still have to pay your outrageous mortgage and car lease.

I have a lot of sympathy for these people though. It seem so easy to stop spending for the naturally frugal but for many people it means unlearning year of bad money habits and building an entirely new relationship with money. Its huge transformation if you have't ever gone through it. For me I was like "Shit all these things I thought were necessities are actually luxuries?!" I had to completely restructure my life and was lucky enough to have a partner who was on board but I did lose almost all of my "friends" in the process. I can't imagine how hard it would have been to be much older and have kids with someone who wasn't on board with FIRE.

I wouldn't go back and change a thing but I always chaff when people say how easy it is. Its like dieting. Its simple math calories in vs calories out but when you look at America, how many people are still overweight? How many people fall for scam dieting programs that only make their wallets lighter. Of course its simple once you figure it out, but for people who are lost it seems very overwhelming.

Sorry to get too deep on a funny board lol

Yeah, an unfortunate part of life is that you can know exactly how the math works, but it won't help if your psychology isn't equipped to act on it. And people behave differently in different parts of life, too; humans aren't consistent. e.g. I have a ~64% savings rate and 50 pounds of obesity that is unlikely to go away anytime soon. So I have a variable amount of sympathy for spendypants suckers even while their trainwrecks entertain us all.

Isn't it strange? I went from something like a -10% saving rate to 35% (still working on it) and I have put on a little weight. I used to have a big fancy crossfit gym and some sort of beach vacation planned when I needed to look good for Instagram. Now I just have my health and wellness to motivate me and I have to make all my healthy food at home. Bleh

[ysette9]

I think the self control needed to do things like maintain a good savings rate and stay healthy all comes from the same reservoir. I find that I have only a finite amount of control to do good things during the day. If the house is neat and the To Do list is tackled then I don’t have the energy to floss my teeth or prepare dinner. There is only so much of me to go around so I have to be carful where I choose to spend my mental energy. When I don’t get enough sleep then the amount of mental energy available to do responsible adult stuff goes way down.

[JestJes]

I think the self control needed to do things like maintain a good savings rate and stay healthy all comes from the same reservoir. I find that I have only a finite amount of control to do good things during the day. If the house is neat and the To Do list is tackled then I don’t have the energy to floss my teeth or prepare dinner. There is only so much of me to go around so I have to be carful where I choose to spend my mental energy. When I don’t get enough sleep then the amount of mental energy available to do responsible adult stuff goes way down.

This is exactly how I am. I think it will switch eventually like when I don't have to worry as much about money and everything is on autopilot but for I have to get out of debt, work my side hustle, take care of my mental and physical health, and continue to optimize my life. Its takes a lot of mental bandwidth.

[zolotiyeruki]

I think the self control needed to do things like maintain a good savings rate and stay healthy all comes from the same reservoir. I find that I have only a finite amount of control to do good things during the day. If the house is neat and the To Do list is tackled then I don’t have the energy to floss my teeth or prepare dinner. There is only so much of me to go around so I have to be carful where I choose to spend my mental energy. When I don’t get enough sleep then the amount of mental energy available to do responsible adult stuff goes way down.

I think this is an actual, scientifically proven thing.  Something like "you can only make N decisions every day."  It's one reason why some people wear the exact same outfit every day--it spares them that one decision.

Here's one article about it.

[Imma]

I think the self control needed to do things like maintain a good savings rate and stay healthy all comes from the same reservoir. I find that I have only a finite amount of control to do good things during the day. If the house is neat and the To Do list is tackled then I don’t have the energy to floss my teeth or prepare dinner. There is only so much of me to go around so I have to be carful where I choose to spend my mental energy. When I don’t get enough sleep then the amount of mental energy available to do responsible adult stuff goes way down.

I think this is an actual, scientifically proven thing.  Something like "you can only make N decisions every day."  It's one reason why some people wear the exact same outfit every day--it spares them that one decision.

Here's one article about it.

Yup, for me it's like that as well. I am super in control at work, grad school and side hustle but it's a permanent challenge to keep my house looking neat, eat healthy and get enough exercise. When I had 3 weeks off from work the house looked picture perfect, I went on long walks, lost a bit of weight and didn't crave chocolate once. Being as far away from FIRE as I am (and on a low, unstable income) I just feel like I have to prioritize certain things over others. It's ironic that that means not prioritizing healthy living as I have had a chronic illness since I was a teenager: I need a stable job where I can't be laid off if I'm ill and that pays enough to be able to afford all my medical needs - and I know I only have this moment in time to save up a stash before I become unable to work.

[DadJokes]

I think the self control needed to do things like maintain a good savings rate and stay healthy all comes from the same reservoir. I find that I have only a finite amount of control to do good things during the day. If the house is neat and the To Do list is tackled then I don’t have the energy to floss my teeth or prepare dinner. There is only so much of me to go around so I have to be carful where I choose to spend my mental energy. When I don’t get enough sleep then the amount of mental energy available to do responsible adult stuff goes way down.

I think this is an actual, scientifically proven thing.  Something like "you can only make N decisions every day."  It's one reason why some people wear the exact same outfit every day--it spares them that one decision.

Here's one article about it.

Yup, for me it's like that as well. I am super in control at work, grad school and side hustle but it's a permanent challenge to keep my house looking neat, eat healthy and get enough exercise. When I had 3 weeks off from work the house looked picture perfect, I went on long walks, lost a bit of weight and didn't crave chocolate once. Being as far away from FIRE as I am (and on a low, unstable income) I just feel like I have to prioritize certain things over others. It's ironic that that means not prioritizing healthy living as I have had a chronic illness since I was a teenager: I need a stable job where I can't be laid off if I'm ill and that pays enough to be able to afford all my medical needs - and I know I only have this moment in time to save up a stash before I become unable to work.

Work, parenting, time with spouse, eating healthy, cleaning the house, exercising...

There really is far too much to find the energy to do. Lately, it feels like I'm so drained by the first that only a tiny bit of energy gets allocated to the next two, and everything else is generally ignored.

Thankfully finances are on auto-pilot at this point, even if we aren't far along.

[LiveLean]

When my sons had the HPV vaccination they both questioned why it was necessary.

I told them to Google "anal cancer."

They had no further questions.

[dragoncar]

When my sons had the HPV vaccination they both questioned why it was necessary.

I told them to Google "anal cancer."

They had no further questions.

That’s what I telly kids when they ask why they should clean their room

[Just Joe]

I'm trying that tonight. Everyone cleans their room or ....!!!

There are days when getting the dishwasher unloaded by a child is impossible!