Overheard on Facebook

[Magilla]

Yes, we get this with my in-laws too, but it's about get togethers.  In person the experience is polite but usually a bit awkward, especially after a few days of everyone being passive aggressive to each other.  My MIL will want to go home instead of stopping at a brewery after dinner, but never states this desire out loud, and then have one beer and not join in the conversation at the brewery b/c she doesn't want to be there.  Meanwhile, on facebook there are instagram-worthy shots of the beers on the table with a caption saying "Having so much fun at xyz brewery with the kids-check out the cool beers! :)"  And if you haven't liked it by the next day, she'll tag you in it "so you know she put something up".  Ugh.  I wish some of the social media enthusiasm would seep into real life enthusiasm.  I mean, if they were teenagers I'd understand, but they're not.

This sort of thing makes me CRAZY. A while back I hosted a friend and an acquaintance in my destination city. Friend and I tried so hard to help acquaintance have a good time, but she pouted, whined, and crabbed her way through the whole weekend, never wanting to do what we suggested OR suggest anything herself. In the end, we were both so relieved when she finally left. Then we noticed her FB status which (bizarrely) had multiple posts PER DAY about how much fun she was having, and how awesome my city was. I hadn't checked FB while she was here because I was, you know, trying to make sure she had a good time. #neverinvitedback

I know a teen who whines and bitches the entire time I take her somewhere, who complains about absolutely everything, and who is glued to her phone to the point she gets snotty with me when we drive through a dead zone or when I ask her to put it away at the table and eat like a civilized person. But later her social media posts are full of pictures of the great time she's having. I often wonder: which of those feelings are real?

I wonder too which of the feelings are real.  This sounds very odd to me - how the person appears in the situation and how they want it to look on their Facebook account.   I'm just scratching head over here.   I'm guessing that a fun-looking Facebook image is more important than reality of the experience?

Full disclosure - I'm a person who is very new to Facebook and am mainly on it to communicate with a real life friend who has had to move away temporarily for medical reasons.

To be fair I think this is a manifestation of a behavior that's been around for a long time.  If you are Jewish or Eastern European or "insert nationality with well established guilt tripping and familial boasting" you've experienced this or seen it.  I've seen it in my EE parents and family where they are not happy with you but when talking to someone else they boast about everything and anything.  It's about managing your "standing" in the community and always appearing you and your family are doing better than everyone else.

Facebook, like with all other social evils, exacerbates this phenomenon.

[LeRainDrop]

Yes, we get this with my in-laws too, but it's about get togethers.  In person the experience is polite but usually a bit awkward, especially after a few days of everyone being passive aggressive to each other.  My MIL will want to go home instead of stopping at a brewery after dinner, but never states this desire out loud, and then have one beer and not join in the conversation at the brewery b/c she doesn't want to be there.  Meanwhile, on facebook there are instagram-worthy shots of the beers on the table with a caption saying "Having so much fun at xyz brewery with the kids-check out the cool beers! :)"  And if you haven't liked it by the next day, she'll tag you in it "so you know she put something up".  Ugh.  I wish some of the social media enthusiasm would seep into real life enthusiasm.  I mean, if they were teenagers I'd understand, but they're not.

This sort of thing makes me CRAZY. A while back I hosted a friend and an acquaintance in my destination city. Friend and I tried so hard to help acquaintance have a good time, but she pouted, whined, and crabbed her way through the whole weekend, never wanting to do what we suggested OR suggest anything herself. In the end, we were both so relieved when she finally left. Then we noticed her FB status which (bizarrely) had multiple posts PER DAY about how much fun she was having, and how awesome my city was. I hadn't checked FB while she was here because I was, you know, trying to make sure she had a good time. #neverinvitedback

I know a teen who whines and bitches the entire time I take her somewhere, who complains about absolutely everything, and who is glued to her phone to the point she gets snotty with me when we drive through a dead zone or when I ask her to put it away at the table and eat like a civilized person. But later her social media posts are full of pictures of the great time she's having. I often wonder: which of those feelings are real?

I wonder too which of the feelings are real.  This sounds very odd to me - how the person appears in the situation and how they want it to look on their Facebook account.   I'm just scratching head over here.   I'm guessing that a fun-looking Facebook image is more important than reality of the experience?

Wow, I've heard many times that you can't always tell how a person's life really is judging by their rosy facebook posts, and I believed that.  I just didn't realize what a huge juxtaposition there could be.  So weird to me how the individuals discussed above act SO differently in the real situation versus the same situation as posted on facebook.  That strikes me as some sort of sickness perhaps.

[nr]

I'll just leave this attachment right here...

[gooki]

Are they millionaires, where they gifted all those shoes?

[nr]

Are they millionaires, where they gifted all those shoes?

Neither. Just another young 30something year old couple still renting and leasing cars.

[MrsDinero]

I'll just leave this attachment right here...

WOW!  My 9 month old was gifted some shoes but has not actually worn them!  In fact she has never worn shoes, I figure she will have plenty of years for shoes so let her toesies be free!

[ShoulderThingThatGoesUp]

"You could have put the neutrals with the earth tones."

Yeah. That's what's wrong with this picture.

[onlykelsey]

"You could have put the neutrals with the earth tones."

Yeah. That's what's wrong with this picture.

How gauche.

[Kitsune]

I'll just leave this attachment right here...

WOW!  My 9 month old was gifted some shoes but has not actually worn them!  In fact she has never worn shoes, I figure she will have plenty of years for shoes so let her toesies be free!

... WOW. Yeah, I started putting crib-shoes (soft soles, cheap, cute) on my daughter around 8-9 months old, mostly because it was getting chilly and she'd pull her socks off otherwise. But, like... Wow.

I'm pretty sure that's more shoes than I own, and I'm an adult woman who doesn't change shoe sizes.

[Papa Mustache]

That might be more shoes than I've owned over the past decade or two! ;)

[deadlymonkey]

wow, I feel like we go through a pair of shoes a month with my growing toddlers running around.  They could one of the those pair a shoes a day and not get through them all before they outgrow them.

[mlejw6]

... How does one..... organize by fringe.......?
I can't even

[merula]

... How does one..... organize by fringe.......?
I can't even

Easy. You take the length of the fringe multiplied by the number of individual fringe pieces to get a linear length of total fringe, and then sort in descending linear fringe length order.

[Inaya]

...adorbs??

[I'm a red panda]

... How does one..... organize by fringe.......?
I can't even

Some have fringe, some have bows, some have nothing.

Obviously within those categories they would still need to be organized by color.

[dragoncar]

... How does one..... organize by fringe.......?
I can't even

Some have fringe, some have bows, some have nothing.

Obviously within those categories they would still need to be organized by color.

We probably need to run a regression

[StockBeard]

*checks own baby's shoes*
We have two pairs, both were gifted. I'd become mad if we had more. Where would we put all that crap?

[MgoSam]

This talk of shoes for baby remind me of a short story reportedly written by Hemingway.

"For sale: Baby shoes, never worn."

[banjarian]

I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.

One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

My husband and I have never been Facebook-official, despite being millennials. Can't say how many minds I've blown with this fact. I usually joke that I'm not ready for that kind of commitment.

[TravelJunkyQC]

Just found on my Facebook wall, posted by one of my former colleagues. Translated into english it means: "I don't spend, I reward myself" (in French, these two words rhyme). Ugh.

Her comment that she put along with it was that it's "good for the soul".

[mm1970]

I'll just leave this attachment right here...

WOW!  My 9 month old was gifted some shoes but has not actually worn them!  In fact she has never worn shoes, I figure she will have plenty of years for shoes so let her toesies be free!

... WOW. Yeah, I started putting crib-shoes (soft soles, cheap, cute) on my daughter around 8-9 months old, mostly because it was getting chilly and she'd pull her socks off otherwise. But, like... Wow.

I'm pretty sure that's more shoes than I own, and I'm an adult woman who doesn't change shoe sizes.

My little guy had a pair of those soft leather shoes.  Then another when he grew out of them.  And then, 6 years later, his little brother wore them out.  I think that's it.

[BlueHouse]

An acquaintance mentioned she'd recently cleaned out the change cubby in her car and tallied $180.  Mostly change from her daily (or more frequent) lemonade stops. 

Since I rarely use cash, I commented that I'm pretty sure I don't amass that much change (anywhere, not just the car) over five years.  She replied that the last time she cleaned out the car (about a year ago), her change total was over $200.

Unless she gets all her change in susan b Anthony's, I don't see how this is even possible. I keep jars of change and a full red solo cup of change usually adds up to about $35.  How big is her change cubby? 

[woopwoop]

How big is her change cubby?

That's probably what she calls the glove compartment ;)

[mustachepungoeshere]

A friend has adopted the hashtag #confessionsofashoeaddict, and trots it out weekly with photos of her latest purchases.

*eyeroll*

[dragoncar]

A friend has adopted the hashtag #confessionsofashoeaddict, and trots it out weekly with photos of her latest purchases.

*eyeroll*

I, too, am a hoe addict

[I'm a red panda]

This talk of shoes for baby remind me of a short story reportedly written by Hemingway.

"For sale: Baby shoes, never worn."

I got some of those (they were gifts). And a whole closet full of clothes- basically first 12 months covered.  Thankfully all clothes were bought at garage sales or on schoola, so it represents about $60 of spending.

[mustachepungoeshere]

This talk of shoes for baby remind me of a short story reportedly written by Hemingway.

"For sale: Baby shoes, never worn."

I got some of those (they were gifts). And a whole closet full of clothes- basically first 12 months covered.  Thankfully all clothes were bought at garage sales or on schoola, so it represents about $60 of spending.

I was guilty of giving baby shoes (tiny Converse, etc) until I realised how utterly pointless they are and how unlikely they were to be worn. I've cut back a lot of gift giving, still give the odd baby gift but not without checking with the parents.

[Lunasol]

A friend has adopted the hashtag #confessionsofashoeaddict, and trots it out weekly with photos of her latest purchases.

*eyeroll*

I, too, am a hoe addict

lol

[Redstone5]

This talk of shoes for baby remind me of a short story reportedly written by Hemingway.

"For sale: Baby shoes, never worn."

I got some of those (they were gifts). And a whole closet full of clothes- basically first 12 months covered.  Thankfully all clothes were bought at garage sales or on schoola, so it represents about $60 of spending.

I was guilty of giving baby shoes (tiny Converse, etc) until I realised how utterly pointless they are and how unlikely they were to be worn. I've cut back a lot of gift giving, still give the odd baby gift but not without checking with the parents.

I think it's something you do with the first baby. I had a baby shoe obsession with my first kid. I couldn't buy enough cute shoes for him. By the time the third came along, I was giving them away.

[Kitsune]

This talk of shoes for baby remind me of a short story reportedly written by Hemingway.

"For sale: Baby shoes, never worn."

I got some of those (they were gifts). And a whole closet full of clothes- basically first 12 months covered.  Thankfully all clothes were bought at garage sales or on schoola, so it represents about $60 of spending.

I was guilty of giving baby shoes (tiny Converse, etc) until I realised how utterly pointless they are and how unlikely they were to be worn. I've cut back a lot of gift giving, still give the odd baby gift but not without checking with the parents.

I think it's something you do with the first baby. I had a baby shoe obsession with my first kid. I couldn't buy enough cute shoes for him. By the time the third came along, I was giving them away.

If you feel the need to buy presents for babies: board books, or books made from that fabric that can be nommed on. Never too many of those.

Or things for the parents: prepared healthy meals, flats of fresh fruits and veggies, that kind of thing. For some reason, people love to bring food, but it's always casseroles, and it's usually all you can manage to heat up with a newborn... So that's what you're eating until you can manage to make food from scratch again, and grocery shop. When someone brought us a salad and a watermelon we almost cried. :)

[MgoSam]

This talk of shoes for baby remind me of a short story reportedly written by Hemingway.

"For sale: Baby shoes, never worn."

I got some of those (they were gifts). And a whole closet full of clothes- basically first 12 months covered.  Thankfully all clothes were bought at garage sales or on schoola, so it represents about $60 of spending.

I was guilty of giving baby shoes (tiny Converse, etc) until I realised how utterly pointless they are and how unlikely they were to be worn. I've cut back a lot of gift giving, still give the odd baby gift but not without checking with the parents.

I think it's something you do with the first baby. I had a baby shoe obsession with my first kid. I couldn't buy enough cute shoes for him. By the time the third came along, I was giving them away.

If you feel the need to buy presents for babies: board books, or books made from that fabric that can be nommed on. Never too many of those.

Or things for the parents: prepared healthy meals, flats of fresh fruits and veggies, that kind of thing. For some reason, people love to bring food, but it's always casseroles, and it's usually all you can manage to heat up with a newborn... So that's what you're eating until you can manage to make food from scratch again, and grocery shop. When someone brought us a salad and a watermelon we almost cried. :)

+1, I'm going to need to remember this.

[Metric Mouse]

A friend has adopted the hashtag #confessionsofashoeaddict, and trots it out weekly with photos of her latest purchases.

*eyeroll*

I, too, am a hoe addict

Don't be afraid to post pictures of your purchases.

[dragoncar]

A friend has adopted the hashtag #confessionsofashoeaddict, and trots it out weekly with photos of her latest purchases.

*eyeroll*

I, too, am a hoe addict

Don't be afraid to post pictures of your purchases.

Here's my latest conquest:

[Hedge_87]

A friend has adopted the hashtag #confessionsofashoeaddict, and trots it out weekly with photos of her latest purchases.

*eyeroll*

I, too, am a hoe addict

Don't be afraid to post pictures of your purchases.

Here's my latest conquest:

Nice, is that the 2016 model with carbon fiber handle and comfort memory foam grip? I've been eyeing that one since my first weed popped up this spring.

[Metric Mouse]

She's a beaut!

[Papa Mustache]

Bet she likes to get a little dirty from time to time...

[brute]

Buddy of mine apparently drove 200 miles to another state to buy a new flavor of oreo that wasn't available in his home town yet.

[ender]

Buddy of mine apparently drove 200 miles to another state to buy a new flavor of oreo that wasn't available in his home town yet.

Amazon ftw?

[Inaya]

Buddy of mine apparently drove 200 miles to another state to buy a new flavor of oreo that wasn't available in his home town yet.

I might drive 200 miles for one of these:

[OmahaSteph]

From a high school friend who constantly posts about barely making ends meet. It's leased and she complained about downsizing from an extended cab. *facepalm*

[MgoSam]

From a high school friend who constantly posts about barely making ends meet. It's leased and she complained about downsizing from an extended cab. *facepalm*

And of course her page was filled with "Likes" and people commenting about how awesome it is.

[solon]

From a high school friend who constantly posts about barely making ends meet. It's leased and she complained about downsizing from an extended cab. *facepalm*

I wonder why people post pictures of their new vehicles so often? Is this something they're proud of? Was it difficult, but whew! they made it!?

[RFAAOATB]

From a high school friend who constantly posts about barely making ends meet. It's leased and she complained about downsizing from an extended cab. *facepalm*

I wonder why people post pictures of their new vehicles so often? Is this something they're proud of? Was it difficult, but whew! they made it!?

We need to start asking people to post their payment coupons every month.  Instagram that with the truck on the top looking all truck like and the payment coupon on the bottom all Hello again old friend and five years later the truck is looking all old and rusted and the payment coupon is still shiny and new.

Of course that won't happen because by the second year you can roll that truck equity into a new model and post the newer bigger shinier truck along with the newer more baller payment coupon.

[nanu]

Posting to follow (a mistake that will haunt me forever, I'm sure, but I find this thread funny)

[Metric Mouse]

I'm very good friends with a car salesman, and a few real-estate agents.  They are constantly posting congrats to the suckers they sell over-priced goods to. It's glorious.

[nanu]

I'm very good friends with a car salesman, and a few real-estate agents.  They are constantly posting congrats to the suckers they sell over-priced goods to. It's glorious.

Come on, share a few posts! I'm sure there are some good ones

[Metric Mouse]

I'm very good friends with a car salesman, and a few real-estate agents.  They are constantly posting congrats to the suckers they sell over-priced goods to. It's glorious.

Come on, share a few posts! I'm sure there are some good ones

It's pretty boring - they're quite professional and polite. "Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Smith for using our service to help you find your dream home! Best wishes."

"Congrats Mr. Rothschild on your new Escalade! It was a pleasure working with you on your new car purchase."

*insert generic photo of couple standing infront of new car and/or house.*

No small penis jokes or backhanded PMI references to be found, I'm afraid... Just interesting to see how many new cars one individual can move in my city, and wondering what percentage his commission is on them; I know the RE gentleman has stated he clears 60-70k per year, on the side, and that's at 3-4%, well under the 6% normally charged.

[ender]

No small penis jokes or backhanded PMI references to be found, I'm afraid... Just interesting to see how many new cars one individual can move in my city, and wondering what percentage his commission is on them; I know the RE gentleman has stated he clears 60-70k per year, on the side, and that's at 3-4%, well under the 6% normally charged.

I always am amazed how many car dealerships there seem to be. It seems that there can't be enough cars being consumed/destroyed by society to justify the insane volume of cars on the lot.

But... I guess for every car that is junked, a new one (or more) take its place. So...

[AlanStache]

Buddy of mine apparently drove 200 miles to another state to buy a new flavor of oreo that wasn't available in his home town yet.

Cool but that sounds more like a good excuse for a fun road trip.  Heck few years back I nearly drove twice that distance to go see Roswell NM, because you know...

[RWD]

No small penis jokes or backhanded PMI references to be found, I'm afraid... Just interesting to see how many new cars one individual can move in my city, and wondering what percentage his commission is on them; I know the RE gentleman has stated he clears 60-70k per year, on the side, and that's at 3-4%, well under the 6% normally charged.

I always am amazed how many car dealerships there seem to be. It seems that there can't be enough cars being consumed/destroyed by society to justify the insane volume of cars on the lot.

But... I guess for every car that is junked, a new one (or more) take its place. So...

7.9 million cars were sold in the US in 2014. There were 134 million households in the United States in 2014. So the average household buys a new car every 16.9 years, I guess?

In 2014 there were 17,838 car dealerships (not sure if this includes used car dealers). So the average dealer sells 444 new cars per year.