Overheard on Facebook

[MrRealEstate]

A few weeks ago a friend and I were laying out a plan for a younger friend to find reliable transportation without crippling him financially for many years down the road.

Today I saw a post from a local dealership with him tagged in a picture of a brand new equinox... Glad we spent a good hour working with him and answering all his questions for him to ignore everything we said. 

[ketchup]

A few weeks ago a friend and I were laying out a plan for a younger friend to find reliable transportation without crippling him financially for many years down the road.

Today I saw a post from a local dealership with him tagged in a picture of a brand new equinox... Glad we spent a good hour working with him and answering all his questions for him to ignore everything we said.

Reminds me of my brother-in-law and sister-in-law.  They sat down with me three years ago (knowing I'm financially-minded/long-term-thinker/etc) and asked if I thought buying a brand new car was the best for them long-term.  They wanted me to be candid with them.  I was.  They nodded along with everything I said and thought it made sense.  They bought the car anyway.  Why ask for my help?

[frugalnacho]

A few weeks ago a friend and I were laying out a plan for a younger friend to find reliable transportation without crippling him financially for many years down the road.

Today I saw a post from a local dealership with him tagged in a picture of a brand new equinox... Glad we spent a good hour working with him and answering all his questions for him to ignore everything we said.

Reminds me of my brother-in-law and sister-in-law.  They sat down with me three years ago (knowing I'm financially-minded/long-term-thinker/etc) and asked if I thought buying a brand new car was the best for them long-term.  They wanted me to be candid with them.  I was.  They nodded along with everything I said and thought it made sense.  They bought the car anyway.  Why ask for my help?

Because they wanted you to agree with them and tell them it was a great idea and it was the best long-term decision they could make.  And if you don't praise them well fuck you they want to buy a car anyway.

[Papa Mustache]

And it wouldn't be a long term situation anyhow. Probably just until it was paid off. j/k

[frugalnacho]

I wanted your opinion...until I found out it's different from mine.

[Zikoris]

A few weeks ago a friend and I were laying out a plan for a younger friend to find reliable transportation without crippling him financially for many years down the road.

Today I saw a post from a local dealership with him tagged in a picture of a brand new equinox... Glad we spent a good hour working with him and answering all his questions for him to ignore everything we said.

Oh god, I've been in this situation with trying to help people find affordable housing. I'm a bit of an apartment ninja, and the Vancouver housing market is kind of weird, so more than once struggling friends have come to me looking for help. I walk them through the process step by step of how to pay 50% or less of the market rates, giving a bunch of different scenarios and options. A week later I see a facebook post about how they signed a new lease for 2K/month or some other insanity. Usually it comes out that they thought the steps were too much work.

[MrsDinero]

Usually it comes out that they thought the steps were too much work.

+1

I had friends who asked me for budgeting help. They were negative every month. Their credit cards were maxed out (tens of thousands of dollars) and they were talking about taking a 401k loan to pay off one of the credit cards ($25k limit).  I spend almost a week working with them to create a budget that included cuts and reductions.  In the end they decided to making the cuts, which included leaving their rented McMansion and finding something smaller and cheaper was too hard and they took out the 401k loan. 

That was 2 years ago. 

They are still paying back their 401k loan, the credit card stayed at a 0 balance for about 3 months, and they have purchased a more expensive McMansion.

[Kitsune]

Usually it comes out that they thought the steps were too much work.

Wait, wait, wait, hold the phone - your secret tip for getting stuff cheaper requires that I have to lift a finger, perhaps even multiple fingers? That sounds like work! Too much trouble for me, I'll just wave my magic piece of plastic in the air and magically get what I want right now.

I shouldn't throw stones, I've certainly thrown money at stuff before but I'd like to think that I at least seriously consider weather it's worth it to me to put in the work before I decide to just throw money at something.

Well. Is it worth 5 hours to save 5$? Not usually, no.

Is it worth 5 hours to save hundreds of dollars monthly with no recurring effort after the first 5 hours? In almost all cases, absolutely.

Usually the truth is somewhere between those extremes. :)

[zephyr911]

That was 2 years ago.

Think of the returns they missed by pulling that $25K out of the market.

They are still paying back their 401k loan, the credit card stayed at a 0 balance for about 3 months, and they have purchased a more expensive McMansion.

You can lead a horse to water....

[Zikoris]

Usually it comes out that they thought the steps were too much work.

Wait, wait, wait, hold the phone - your secret tip for getting stuff cheaper requires that I have to lift a finger, perhaps even multiple fingers? That sounds like work! Too much trouble for me, I'll just wave my magic piece of plastic in the air and magically get what I want right now.

I shouldn't throw stones, I've certainly thrown money at stuff before but I'd like to think that I at least seriously consider weather it's worth it to me to put in the work before I decide to just throw money at something.

Well. Is it worth 5 hours to save 5$? Not usually, no.

Is it worth 5 hours to save hundreds of dollars monthly with no recurring effort after the first 5 hours? In almost all cases, absolutely.

Usually the truth is somewhere between those extremes. :)

And honestly, the stuff I tell people to do is not hugely time consuming - send applications to these apartment buildings, search Craigslist with these parameters, phone this property management place. If it's a nice day, take a bike ride through these neighbourhoods and look for "FOR RENT" signs. And of course you actually have to clean, pack, and move once you secure a place. But apparently it's WAY less work to just sign a new lease at your current place and continue getting ripped off.

[Pooperman]

Usually it comes out that they thought the steps were too much work.

Wait, wait, wait, hold the phone - your secret tip for getting stuff cheaper requires that I have to lift a finger, perhaps even multiple fingers? That sounds like work! Too much trouble for me, I'll just wave my magic piece of plastic in the air and magically get what I want right now.

I shouldn't throw stones, I've certainly thrown money at stuff before but I'd like to think that I at least seriously consider weather it's worth it to me to put in the work before I decide to just throw money at something.

Well. Is it worth 5 hours to save 5$? Not usually, no.

Is it worth 5 hours to save hundreds of dollars monthly with no recurring effort after the first 5 hours? In almost all cases, absolutely.

Usually the truth is somewhere between those extremes. :)

And honestly, the stuff I tell people to do is not hugely time consuming - send applications to these apartment buildings, search Craigslist with these parameters, phone this property management place. If it's a nice day, take a bike ride through these neighbourhoods and look for "FOR RENT" signs. And of course you actually have to clean, pack, and move once you secure a place. But apparently it's WAY less work to just sign a new lease at your current place and continue getting ripped off.

We did this when we moved into our current apartment. Market rent for a 1br is about 1250/month. We pay about 950/month. It meets all the same parameters, but the building is rent stabilized and 40 years old.

[MgoSam]

Usually it comes out that they thought the steps were too much work.

Wait, wait, wait, hold the phone - your secret tip for getting stuff cheaper requires that I have to lift a finger, perhaps even multiple fingers? That sounds like work! Too much trouble for me, I'll just wave my magic piece of plastic in the air and magically get what I want right now.

I shouldn't throw stones, I've certainly thrown money at stuff before but I'd like to think that I at least seriously consider weather it's worth it to me to put in the work before I decide to just throw money at something.

Well. Is it worth 5 hours to save 5$? Not usually, no.

Is it worth 5 hours to save hundreds of dollars monthly with no recurring effort after the first 5 hours? In almost all cases, absolutely.

Usually the truth is somewhere between those extremes. :)

And honestly, the stuff I tell people to do is not hugely time consuming - send applications to these apartment buildings, search Craigslist with these parameters, phone this property management place. If it's a nice day, take a bike ride through these neighbourhoods and look for "FOR RENT" signs. And of course you actually have to clean, pack, and move once you secure a place. But apparently it's WAY less work to just sign a new lease at your current place and continue getting ripped off.

We did this when we moved into our current apartment. Market rent for a 1br is about 1250/month. We pay about 950/month. It meets all the same parameters, but the building is rent stabilized and 40 years old.

THIS. My tenant tried to lowball me when we were discussing rent by showing me a bunch of craig's list ads for rooms in houses, I shrugged and told him my price was firm and he agreed. It helps that it is still a great deal and I'm glad he did as he's incredibly uiet and clean and pays on time.

[cheapass]

"Super proud of you Eddie! Buying your first pickup is a big deal and you worked hard for it!"

Methinks he didn't "buy" it (i.e. cash) and instead rented a shitload of money from the bank to get it. Me also thinks he doesn't understand what the fuck "depreciation", "fuel efficiency", or "opportunity cost" are.

[Taran Wanderer]

"Super proud of you Eddie! Buying your first pickup is a big deal and you worked hard for it!"

Methinks he didn't "buy" it (i.e. cash) and instead rented a shitload of money from the bank to get it. Me also thinks he doesn't understand what the fuck "depreciation", "fuel efficiency", or "opportunity cost" are.

I'm afraid you are probably right.

[VladTheImpaler]

Usually it comes out that they thought the steps were too much work.

Wait, wait, wait, hold the phone - your secret tip for getting stuff cheaper requires that I have to lift a finger, perhaps even multiple fingers? That sounds like work! Too much trouble for me, I'll just wave my magic piece of plastic in the air and magically get what I want right now.

I shouldn't throw stones, I've certainly thrown money at stuff before but I'd like to think that I at least seriously consider weather it's worth it to me to put in the work before I decide to just throw money at something.

Well. Is it worth 5 hours to save 5$? Not usually, no.

Is it worth 5 hours to save hundreds of dollars monthly with no recurring effort after the first 5 hours? In almost all cases, absolutely.

Usually the truth is somewhere between those extremes. :)

And honestly, the stuff I tell people to do is not hugely time consuming - send applications to these apartment buildings, search Craigslist with these parameters, phone this property management place. If it's a nice day, take a bike ride through these neighbourhoods and look for "FOR RENT" signs. And of course you actually have to clean, pack, and move once you secure a place. But apparently it's WAY less work to just sign a new lease at your current place and continue getting ripped off.

We did this when we moved into our current apartment. Market rent for a 1br is about 1250/month. We pay about 950/month. It meets all the same parameters, but the building is rent stabilized and 40 years old.

THIS. My tenant tried to lowball me when we were discussing rent by showing me a bunch of craig's list ads for rooms in houses, I shrugged and told him my price was firm and he agreed. It helps that it is still a great deal and I'm glad he did as he's incredibly uiet and clean and pays on time.

Maybe he's a fellow Mustachian?

[MgoSam]

Usually it comes out that they thought the steps were too much work.

Wait, wait, wait, hold the phone - your secret tip for getting stuff cheaper requires that I have to lift a finger, perhaps even multiple fingers? That sounds like work! Too much trouble for me, I'll just wave my magic piece of plastic in the air and magically get what I want right now.

I shouldn't throw stones, I've certainly thrown money at stuff before but I'd like to think that I at least seriously consider weather it's worth it to me to put in the work before I decide to just throw money at something.

Well. Is it worth 5 hours to save 5$? Not usually, no.

Is it worth 5 hours to save hundreds of dollars monthly with no recurring effort after the first 5 hours? In almost all cases, absolutely.

Usually the truth is somewhere between those extremes. :)

And honestly, the stuff I tell people to do is not hugely time consuming - send applications to these apartment buildings, search Craigslist with these parameters, phone this property management place. If it's a nice day, take a bike ride through these neighbourhoods and look for "FOR RENT" signs. And of course you actually have to clean, pack, and move once you secure a place. But apparently it's WAY less work to just sign a new lease at your current place and continue getting ripped off.

We did this when we moved into our current apartment. Market rent for a 1br is about 1250/month. We pay about 950/month. It meets all the same parameters, but the building is rent stabilized and 40 years old.

THIS. My tenant tried to lowball me when we were discussing rent by showing me a bunch of craig's list ads for rooms in houses, I shrugged and told him my price was firm and he agreed. It helps that it is still a great deal and I'm glad he did as he's incredibly uiet and clean and pays on time.

Maybe he's a fellow Mustachian?

Oh he is! He doesn't know of MMM but he's very frugal. One thing I do like about him living with me is that when something needs repair he'll give me suggestions as to how to get it done cheaply as opposed to just buying a new thing or paying full price for it. As he's my first tenant, this really helps me learn.

[ketchup]

A few weeks ago a friend and I were laying out a plan for a younger friend to find reliable transportation without crippling him financially for many years down the road.

Today I saw a post from a local dealership with him tagged in a picture of a brand new equinox... Glad we spent a good hour working with him and answering all his questions for him to ignore everything we said.

Reminds me of my brother-in-law and sister-in-law.  They sat down with me three years ago (knowing I'm financially-minded/long-term-thinker/etc) and asked if I thought buying a brand new car was the best for them long-term.  They wanted me to be candid with them.  I was.  They nodded along with everything I said and thought it made sense.  They bought the car anyway.  Why ask for my help?

Because they wanted you to agree with them and tell them it was a great idea and it was the best long-term decision they could make.  And if you don't praise them well fuck you they want to buy a car anyway.

It's sad too, because they tend to have their heads on right financially except for when it comes to cars.  They'll shop at thrift stores, cook at home, DIY a lot of things, etc.  And they were in a perfect situation to buy a sensible used car.  One of them had just inherited $6k and they had an additional cash cushion.  But no, instead of buying a good car for $4-5k and staying debt free and able to save, pissing all that money away on a down payment and then paying $400/mo for the next five years while making $25k/yr and saving nothing seemed like the way to go.  At least as new cars go it was semi-reasonable (a fuel-efficient Toyota) and the interest rate was good (thank [deity]), but still!  They could have been so far ahead in life by now if they just hadn't fucked that one up.  For a while they both had car payments that together were more than their (admittedly low) rent.

[Papa Mustache]

They sound like they wanted a shiny thing to brighten up their lives and help them forget they are poor. Of course they are poor b/c of the shiny thing. I have a coworker doing that with an apartment. Could make different choices and save a bit of money each month.

[Kitsune]

They sound like they wanted a shiny thing to brighten up their lives and help them forget they are poor. Of course they are poor b/c of the shiny thing. I have a coworker doing that with an apartment. Could make different choices and save a bit of money each month.

I think everyone here knows people in that patter. "I hate my job ---> go to starbucks to forget it for 10 minutes and feel good ---> spend an extra 200$ a month on fancy coffees ---> need to work longer at the job ---> go to starbucks..."

It's super helpful to identify your spending patterns and the reasons behind them. In my experience, it's never about the coffee/clothes/books/apartment, it's about the emotions behind them. You can't cut the spending without acknowledging the emotions.

For example, I used to spend money on clothing when I felt not-pretty. Identify cause/need, express to my husband, he makes more of an effort to TELL ME that he thinks I'm pretty (or, y'know, random make-outs and gropes, that works too), and I make more of an effort to pull on put-together-outfits instead of feeling blah in what I'm wearing and thereore I feel pretty even without new clothes that I don't need, and, having dealt with the emotions, I no longer spend much on clothing. Not dealing with the emotions and cutting spending would have SUCKED and just had me feeling un-pretty and frumpy and poor and unable to do anything about it - which is cheap. Same end result, MASSIVELY different path, much more satisfying solution.

[nobodyspecial]

I think everyone here knows people in that patter. "I hate my job ---> go to starbucks to forget it for 10 minutes and feel good ---> spend an extra 200$ a month on fancy coffees ---> need to work longer at the job ---> go to starbucks..."

Especially self-destructive if you work AT Starbucks

[onlykelsey]

They sound like they wanted a shiny thing to brighten up their lives and help them forget they are poor. Of course they are poor b/c of the shiny thing. I have a coworker doing that with an apartment. Could make different choices and save a bit of money each month.

I think everyone here knows people in that patter. "I hate my job ---> go to starbucks to forget it for 10 minutes and feel good ---> spend an extra 200$ a month on fancy coffees ---> need to work longer at the job ---> go to starbucks..."

It's super helpful to identify your spending patterns and the reasons behind them. In my experience, it's never about the coffee/clothes/books/apartment, it's about the emotions behind them. You can't cut the spending without acknowledging the emotions.

For example, I used to spend money on clothing when I felt not-pretty. Identify cause/need, express to my husband, he makes more of an effort to TELL ME that he thinks I'm pretty (or, y'know, random make-outs and gropes, that works too), and I make more of an effort to pull on put-together-outfits instead of feeling blah in what I'm wearing and thereore I feel pretty even without new clothes that I don't need, and, having dealt with the emotions, I no longer spend much on clothing. Not dealing with the emotions and cutting spending would have SUCKED and just had me feeling un-pretty and frumpy and poor and unable to do anything about it - which is cheap. Same end result, MASSIVELY different path, much more satisfying solution.

Ugh, yes, I go through periods of doing this at work.  I feel deprived and angry about being at work at 3 AM, so I spitefully order a bunch of clothing that I "deserve" and then have to spend 45 minutes the next week returning it all, because I don't actually want the clothing, and didn't think through the purchase at all.  It's silly, because I actually could stand to spend some money on my work wardrobe, but angry 3 AM online shopping is clearly not the answer.

[mm1970]

They sound like they wanted a shiny thing to brighten up their lives and help them forget they are poor. Of course they are poor b/c of the shiny thing. I have a coworker doing that with an apartment. Could make different choices and save a bit of money each month.

I think everyone here knows people in that patter. "I hate my job ---> go to starbucks to forget it for 10 minutes and feel good ---> spend an extra 200$ a month on fancy coffees ---> need to work longer at the job ---> go to starbucks..."

It's super helpful to identify your spending patterns and the reasons behind them. In my experience, it's never about the coffee/clothes/books/apartment, it's about the emotions behind them. You can't cut the spending without acknowledging the emotions.

For example, I used to spend money on clothing when I felt not-pretty. Identify cause/need, express to my husband, he makes more of an effort to TELL ME that he thinks I'm pretty (or, y'know, random make-outs and gropes, that works too), and I make more of an effort to pull on put-together-outfits instead of feeling blah in what I'm wearing and thereore I feel pretty even without new clothes that I don't need, and, having dealt with the emotions, I no longer spend much on clothing. Not dealing with the emotions and cutting spending would have SUCKED and just had me feeling un-pretty and frumpy and poor and unable to do anything about it - which is cheap. Same end result, MASSIVELY different path, much more satisfying solution.

Yes, I had a coworker whose wife was a spender.  At one point (10-12 years ago) they had $14k of credit card debt.  I was early in my heavy-frugal days.  Once he said "But MM, she works so hard, how can I tell her she can't buy that?  She deserves it!"  I said "well, because you can't afford it."

[jinga nation]

It's super helpful to identify your spending patterns and the reasons behind them. In my experience, it's never about the coffee/clothes/books/apartment, it's about the emotions behind them. You can't cut the spending without acknowledging the emotions.

Change comes from within. Why would the masses want to do that? Have they lost their mind? A herd mentality shift? Or individual straggling outliers who will be killed by lions, wolves, shady financial advisers from EJ/Ameriprise.

[zephyr911]

I think everyone here knows people in that patter. "I hate my job ---> go to starbucks to forget it for 10 minutes and feel good ---> spend an extra 200$ a month on fancy coffees ---> need to work longer at the job ---> go to starbucks..."

Especially self-destructive if you work AT Starbucks

Way better to work at some mom-and-pop that comps you while on the job. Then again, that could go wrong too.

On my last tour in Iraq, my main outlet other than my band was a free coffee shop run by some chaplain's office, where I volunteered just to get my mind off work. I mostly worked with this one soldier (still a friend) whose personality and mine created a manic feedback loop; we traded shots till we were jacked out of our minds, blasting metal and screaming at the customers for laughs.

I ended up so amped on that coffee (or uber-strong chai from the Iraqis) that I was up till the wee hours almost every night, and it mucked up my performance... possibly contributing to a slight truncation of my $15k/mo contract... oh well. >.<

[MgoSam]

They sound like they wanted a shiny thing to brighten up their lives and help them forget they are poor. Of course they are poor b/c of the shiny thing. I have a coworker doing that with an apartment. Could make different choices and save a bit of money each month.

I think everyone here knows people in that patter. "I hate my job ---> go to starbucks to forget it for 10 minutes and feel good ---> spend an extra 200$ a month on fancy coffees ---> need to work longer at the job ---> go to starbucks..."

It's super helpful to identify your spending patterns and the reasons behind them. In my experience, it's never about the coffee/clothes/books/apartment, it's about the emotions behind them. You can't cut the spending without acknowledging the emotions.

For example, I used to spend money on clothing when I felt not-pretty. Identify cause/need, express to my husband, he makes more of an effort to TELL ME that he thinks I'm pretty (or, y'know, random make-outs and gropes, that works too), and I make more of an effort to pull on put-together-outfits instead of feeling blah in what I'm wearing and thereore I feel pretty even without new clothes that I don't need, and, having dealt with the emotions, I no longer spend much on clothing. Not dealing with the emotions and cutting spending would have SUCKED and just had me feeling un-pretty and frumpy and poor and unable to do anything about it - which is cheap. Same end result, MASSIVELY different path, much more satisfying solution.

Yes, I had a coworker whose wife was a spender.  At one point (10-12 years ago) they had $14k of credit card debt.  I was early in my heavy-frugal days.  Once he said "But MM, she works so hard, how can I tell her she can't buy that?  She deserves it!"  I said "well, because you can't afford it."

Friend posted this on Facebook, I think it's relevant in this case as well.

[dragoncar]

Friend posted this on Facebook, I think it's relevant in this case as well.

In that case, I demand my pad and paper immediately!

[Metric Mouse]

Friend posted this on Facebook, I think it's relevant in this case as well.

In that case, I demand my pad and paper immediately!

Nice.

[cavewoman]

My husbands best friend and his fiance are pregnant, and they each just inherited a sum of money totalling over 50k combined.

What a great set up for first time parenthood, right? Well if it was, i wouldnt be posting here. They've already spent 2-3k on new laptops because gaming graphics, buy records by the pound, and she is getting a new car. My husband tried to talk to his friend (the dad-to-be) about how she could get something around a 2005 and be set, but she wants a brand new car.
My husband might have gotten through to the future dad a bit about how he should invest some of his inheritance for the education of his son since his son will never get to meet his grandma, so there is some hope.

This couple is engaged but argue about whose turn it is to buy the toothpaste. I know that some couples separate finances and that works great for them but that just seems like taking it to a whole new level. 

[kayvent]

My husbands best friend and his fiance are pregnant, and they each just inherited a sum of money totalling over 50k combined.

What a great set up for first time parenthood, right? Well if it was, i wouldnt be posting here. They've already spent 2-3k on new laptops because gaming graphics, buy records by the pound, and she is getting a new car. My husband tried to talk to his friend (the dad-to-be) about how she could get something around a 2005 and be set, but she wants a brand new car.
My husband might have gotten through to the future dad a bit about how he should invest some of his inheritance for the education of his son since his son will never get to meet his grandma, so there is some hope.

This couple is engaged but argue about whose turn it is to buy the toothpaste. I know that some couples separate finances and that works great for them but that just seems like taking it to a whole new level.

I feel bad for this but I feel jealous of people who's relatives above them have money/assets. I'd love to just casually get tens of thousands of dollars, at once, for landing in the right gene pool.

[Little Aussie Battler]

I feel bad for this but I feel jealous of people who's relatives above them have money/assets. I'd love to just casually get tens of thousands of dollars, at once, for landing in the right gene pool.

You live in Canada with good internet access, job prospects, healthcare, running water etc.

Assuming you were born there, being in this gene pool was worth a significant amount.

[kayvent]

I feel bad for this but I feel jealous of people who's relatives above them have money/assets. I'd love to just casually get tens of thousands of dollars, at once, for landing in the right gene pool.

You live in Canada with good internet access, job prospects, healthcare, running water etc.

Assuming you were born there, being in this gene pool was worth a significant amount.

Touché. I remember a news stories about millionaires in the Hamptons complaining about the billionaires in their neighbourhood with their jets and how they don't understand how it hurts their middle class feelings to look how well off some people are.

I could counter with the trope of "raised by a single mother on welfare with three other children, illiterate until the sixth grade" and so forth but your point would still beat mine. Thanks for the friendly reminder. It brought a little light to my day to be reminded :)

[Metric Mouse]

I feel bad for this but I feel jealous of people who's relatives above them have money/assets. I'd love to just casually get tens of thousands of dollars, at once, for landing in the right gene pool.

You live in Canada with good internet access, job prospects, healthcare, running water etc.

Assuming you were born there, being in this gene pool was worth a significant amount.

Touché. I remember a news stories about millionaires in the Hamptons complaining about the billionaires in their neighbourhood with their jets and how they don't understand how it hurts their middle class feelings to look how well off some people are.

I could counter with the trope of "raised by a single mother on welfare with three other children, illiterate until the sixth grade" and so forth but your point would still beat mine. Thanks for the friendly reminder. It brought a little light to my day to be reminded :)

You meet the nicest people handing out face punches. :D

[Chaplin]

Touché. I remember a news stories about millionaires in the Hamptons complaining about the billionaires in their neighbourhood with their jets and how they don't understand how it hurts their middle class feelings to look how well off some people are.

I could counter with the trope of "raised by a single mother on welfare with three other children, illiterate until the sixth grade" and so forth but your point would still beat mine. Thanks for the friendly reminder. It brought a little light to my day to be reminded :)

You meet the nicest people handing out face punches. :D

Oh no, no, no. That was Canadian for "I hate you for pointing out my error and I hope you get a horrible disease."

[BDWW]

Touché. I remember a news stories about millionaires in the Hamptons complaining about the billionaires in their neighbourhood with their jets and how they don't understand how it hurts their middle class feelings to look how well off some people are.

I could counter with the trope of "raised by a single mother on welfare with three other children, illiterate until the sixth grade" and so forth but your point would still beat mine. Thanks for the friendly reminder. It brought a little light to my day to be reminded :)

You meet the nicest people handing out face punches. :D

Oh no, no, no. That was Canadian for "I hate you for pointing out my error and I hope you get a horrible disease."

Bless your heart.

[Metric Mouse]

Touché. I remember a news stories about millionaires in the Hamptons complaining about the billionaires in their neighbourhood with their jets and how they don't understand how it hurts their middle class feelings to look how well off some people are.

I could counter with the trope of "raised by a single mother on welfare with three other children, illiterate until the sixth grade" and so forth but your point would still beat mine. Thanks for the friendly reminder. It brought a little light to my day to be reminded :)

You meet the nicest people handing out face punches. :D

Oh no, no, no. That was Canadian for "I hate you for pointing out my error and I hope you get a horrible disease."

Bless your heart.

:D I knew someone would come through with this.

[cavewoman]

My husbands best friend and his fiance are pregnant, and they each just inherited a sum of money totalling over 50k combined.

What a great set up for first time parenthood, right? Well if it was, i wouldnt be posting here. They've already spent 2-3k on new laptops because gaming graphics, buy records by the pound, and she is getting a new car. My husband tried to talk to his friend (the dad-to-be) about how she could get something around a 2005 and be set, but she wants a brand new car.
My husband might have gotten through to the future dad a bit about how he should invest some of his inheritance for the education of his son since his son will never get to meet his grandma, so there is some hope.

This couple is engaged but argue about whose turn it is to buy the toothpaste. I know that some couples separate finances and that works great for them but that just seems like taking it to a whole new level.

I feel bad for this but I feel jealous of people who's relatives above them have money/assets. I'd love to just casually get tens of thousands of dollars, at once, for landing in the right gene pool.

Check out the inheritance drama thread, and you might change your mind!! :)

[kayvent]

My husbands best friend and his fiance are pregnant, and they each just inherited a sum of money totalling over 50k combined.

What a great set up for first time parenthood, right? Well if it was, i wouldnt be posting here. They've already spent 2-3k on new laptops because gaming graphics, buy records by the pound, and she is getting a new car. My husband tried to talk to his friend (the dad-to-be) about how she could get something around a 2005 and be set, but she wants a brand new car.
My husband might have gotten through to the future dad a bit about how he should invest some of his inheritance for the education of his son since his son will never get to meet his grandma, so there is some hope.

This couple is engaged but argue about whose turn it is to buy the toothpaste. I know that some couples separate finances and that works great for them but that just seems like taking it to a whole new level.

I feel bad for this but I feel jealous of people who's relatives above them have money/assets. I'd love to just casually get tens of thousands of dollars, at once, for landing in the right gene pool.

Check out the inheritance drama thread, and you might change your mind!! :)

Now that statement I can contest! I have to deal with 99% of the lunacy that I've read in that thread but nobody gets anything.

[Travis]

One of my friends posted a meme showing 10 guys out to dinner with their phones in a basket. The caption reads "first one to call his wife has to pay the bill." My friend comments "well maybe not the guy whose phone is at the bottom of that pile. His phone looks so old he can't afford the tab." Surprisingly someone else chimed in before I could remarking that maybe he has mad frugal skills and is actually the only one of the group who can afford to pay for everyone.

[MgoSam]

One of my friends posted a meme showing 10 guys out to dinner with their phones in a basket. The caption reads "first one to call his wife has to pay the bill." My friend comments "well maybe not the guy whose phone is at the bottom of that pile. His phone looks so old he can't afford the tab." Surprisingly someone else chimed in before I could remarking that maybe he has mad frugal skills and is actually the only one of the group who can afford to pay for everyone.

I would love this! As a bachelor, this would mean a free meal for me.

I have paid credit card roulette where you each put a card in a hat and the waiter draws it. The winner doesn't pay, while everyone else covers the winner's share (there is also the reverse where the person who's card is drawn has to pay for everyone).

[MrMoogle]

One of my friends posted a meme showing 10 guys out to dinner with their phones in a basket. The caption reads "first one to call his wife has to pay the bill." My friend comments "well maybe not the guy whose phone is at the bottom of that pile. His phone looks so old he can't afford the tab." Surprisingly someone else chimed in before I could remarking that maybe he has mad frugal skills and is actually the only one of the group who can afford to pay for everyone.

I would love this! As a bachelor, this would mean a free meal for me.

I have paid credit card roulette where you each put a card in a hat and the waiter draws it. The winner doesn't pay, while everyone else covers the winner's share (there is also the reverse where the person who's card is drawn has to pay for everyone).

The problem with the second one is everyone gets the most expensive thing, since it's unlikely they will have to pay.  But the average price goes through the roof.

[MgoSam]

One of my friends posted a meme showing 10 guys out to dinner with their phones in a basket. The caption reads "first one to call his wife has to pay the bill." My friend comments "well maybe not the guy whose phone is at the bottom of that pile. His phone looks so old he can't afford the tab." Surprisingly someone else chimed in before I could remarking that maybe he has mad frugal skills and is actually the only one of the group who can afford to pay for everyone.

I would love this! As a bachelor, this would mean a free meal for me.

I have paid credit card roulette where you each put a card in a hat and the waiter draws it. The winner doesn't pay, while everyone else covers the winner's share (there is also the reverse where the person who's card is drawn has to pay for everyone).

The problem with the second one is everyone gets the most expensive thing, since it's unlikely they will have to pay.  But the average price goes through the roof.

I completely agree. My mom goes out to dinner with her friends every few weeks and mentioned that if one person orders a drink everyone will. I guess they don't want to pay for someone else's drink and so they will order one for themselves, thus causing the bill to go up. I believe this is akin to the Prisoner's Dilemma.

[Lunasol]

Usually when I go out with friends each one pays for what they eat/drink.

Other times, we've split the bill but it inevitably has left a hole in my stomach :X

[WerKater]

One of my friends posted a meme showing 10 guys out to dinner with their phones in a basket. The caption reads "first one to call his wife has to pay the bill." My friend comments "well maybe not the guy whose phone is at the bottom of that pile. His phone looks so old he can't afford the tab." Surprisingly someone else chimed in before I could remarking that maybe he has mad frugal skills and is actually the only one of the group who can afford to pay for everyone.

I would love this! As a bachelor, this would mean a free meal for me.

I have paid credit card roulette where you each put a card in a hat and the waiter draws it. The winner doesn't pay, while everyone else covers the winner's share (there is also the reverse where the person who's card is drawn has to pay for everyone).

The problem with the second one is everyone gets the most expensive thing, since it's unlikely they will have to pay.  But the average price goes through the roof.

I completely agree. My mom goes out to dinner with her friends every few weeks and mentioned that if one person orders a drink everyone will. I guess they don't want to pay for someone else's drink and so they will order one for themselves, thus causing the bill to go up. I believe this is akin to the Prisoner's Dilemma.

Tragedy of the commons, I would say. Of course, one could see the Prisoner's Dilemma as a special case of the tragedy of the commons.

[Travis]

One of my friends posted a meme showing 10 guys out to dinner with their phones in a basket. The caption reads "first one to call his wife has to pay the bill." My friend comments "well maybe not the guy whose phone is at the bottom of that pile. His phone looks so old he can't afford the tab." Surprisingly someone else chimed in before I could remarking that maybe he has mad frugal skills and is actually the only one of the group who can afford to pay for everyone.

I would love this! As a bachelor, this would mean a free meal for me.

I have paid credit card roulette where you each put a card in a hat and the waiter draws it. The winner doesn't pay, while everyone else covers the winner's share (there is also the reverse where the person who's card is drawn has to pay for everyone).

The problem with the second one is everyone gets the most expensive thing, since it's unlikely they will have to pay.  But the average price goes through the roof.

I completely agree. My mom goes out to dinner with her friends every few weeks and mentioned that if one person orders a drink everyone will. I guess they don't want to pay for someone else's drink and so they will order one for themselves, thus causing the bill to go up. I believe this is akin to the Prisoner's Dilemma.

Tragedy of the commons, I would say. Of course, one could see the Prisoner's Dilemma as a special case of the tragedy of the commons.

And he deleted the quote the next day. Guess he didn't find it that funny after we poked a couple holes in his logic?

[intirb]

Post from a former college classmate, paraphrased:

Being an adult means accepting that you will be in financial debt of some sort at almost every point in your life from now on.

We both graduated from the same decent, private university with degrees in engineering :(.

[Metric Mouse]

Post from a former college classmate, paraphrased:

Being an adult means accepting that you will be in financial debt of some sort at almost every point in your life from now on.

We both graduated from the same decent, private university with degrees in engineering :(.

Guess they probably fell for the "Buy a house" myth...

[merula]

I got into a MASSIVE fb flame-war when someone I graduated college with started posting about how all millenials are completely screwed financially and will never be able to retire. My point was, repeatedly, it's about choices and some people make different ones from you. If you want to change your life, change your choices. (And I shared things on how compound interest works, and about how low-income Millennials can use the Retirement Contribution Credit to massively subsidize their savings.)

I had a number of people back me up, and when I offered free financial advice for anyone who wanted to take me up on it, I got a few people interested, so overall I'm glad I participated.

The worst quote was: "Merula, you graduated from college into a good job. From your perspective, yes, it's easy, but that is not the case for MANY Americans." Hilarious because this person WENT TO THE SAME COLLEGE I DID. She took 6 years instead of 4 because she kept changing her major, and went for anthropology while I did business. I *am* lucky that I went to a good college, and for a lot of other reasons, most of which I share with this massive complainypants.

[dragoncar]

I got into a MASSIVE fb flame-war when someone I graduated college with started posting about how all millenials are completely screwed financially and will never be able to retire. My point was, repeatedly, it's about choices and some people make different ones from you. If you want to change your life, change your choices. (And I shared things on how compound interest works, and about how low-income Millennials can use the Retirement Contribution Credit to massively subsidize their savings.)

I had a number of people back me up, and when I offered free financial advice for anyone who wanted to take me up on it, I got a few people interested, so overall I'm glad I participated.

The worst quote was: "Merula, you graduated from college into a good job. From your perspective, yes, it's easy, but that is not the case for MANY Americans." Hilarious because this person WENT TO THE SAME COLLEGE I DID. She took 6 years instead of 4 because she kept changing her major, and went for anthropology while I did business. I *am* lucky that I went to a good college, and for a lot of other reasons, most of which I share with this massive complainypants.

You are both right... Millenials are screwed because they make bad choices

[Kitsune]

I got into a MASSIVE fb flame-war when someone I graduated college with started posting about how all millenials are completely screwed financially and will never be able to retire. My point was, repeatedly, it's about choices and some people make different ones from you. If you want to change your life, change your choices. (And I shared things on how compound interest works, and about how low-income Millennials can use the Retirement Contribution Credit to massively subsidize their savings.)

I had a number of people back me up, and when I offered free financial advice for anyone who wanted to take me up on it, I got a few people interested, so overall I'm glad I participated.

The worst quote was: "Merula, you graduated from college into a good job. From your perspective, yes, it's easy, but that is not the case for MANY Americans." Hilarious because this person WENT TO THE SAME COLLEGE I DID. She took 6 years instead of 4 because she kept changing her major, and went for anthropology while I did business. I *am* lucky that I went to a good college, and for a lot of other reasons, most of which I share with this massive complainypants.

You are both right... Millenials are screwed because they make bad choices

ARRRRGH.

The worst for me is when fellow Quebec-ers complain about how Millenials are all screwed, and that's why they're poor.

Like, guys. You went/were eligible to go to college around the same time I did, with about the same in-province tuition costs (as memory serves, it was less than 2K/semester including all fees and books for all classes). Even those with student loans have less than 20K worth.

And, um, I graduated with an English Lit degree and minors in European History and Women's Studies (clearly, I was very job-focussed at 22). And started work at a temp agency within 3 weeks of graduating. AND YET: I have an excellent career-type job making over 60K a year, and I've made over 60K a year for more than 60% of my working life so far.

So don't give me 'millennials are so screwed, you're just lucky'. *grump*

(To be fair: I have no student loans, not even 20K worth, and I have family connections and a safety net, so I'm luckier than a lot of people.)

[merula]

I'm definitely lucky. I was born in the first world, raised in a family and a state that values education, I don't have physical or learning disabilities that would cause opportunities to be blocked to me.

This woman has the same lucky situation. Probably the only way I have more luck than her was that I have a parent who was able to talk me out of a Liberal Arts major and into Business.

In the time since I posted my previous message, this woman has posted a new update. It's a doozy. (Names changed to protect innocent businesses.)

Just wrapped up the most action-packed weekend I've ever hosted. We did the following:
- [Restaurant with $10 burgers] for [specialty burgers], spam bites, and tater tot poutine
- [Mid-range pub] for pub trivia
- [Bakery] for croissants
- [City] Cathedral
- [Local ethnic group] marketplace to eat all the things
- [Nearby city] for autumnal views of downtown
- [Park] and walk to the river
- [Local church]
- [Another park] garden visit
- Rainy day drinks at [trendy bar]
- More rainy day drinks and lovely riverfront views at [another trendy bar]
- Sours at [local brewery]
- Takeout from [restaurant I've never heard of], selection of dark beers, and movies on the couch
- [Art museum]

Kudos to her for working some free options in there, but overall I'm just pissssssed.