Overheard on Facebook

[birdman2003]

My Relative:
"My wife recently came into $650. I'm forcing her to spend it. She doesn't want to use it on a bunch of little things and would prefer to get a more expensive item she'd normally never get. Ideas?"

Oh boy.  Here are some comments:

1. Spa day!!!
2. Electric Skateboard
3. Handgun [no less than 5 people offered this suggestion]
4. iPad or AR15
5. Travel to B&B
6. Prenatal massage
7. Nice stroller
8. Kayak (or Bike or Skis) [they live in Minnesota]
9. KitchenAid Mixer
10. Speakers or Big Screen TV
11. Hoverboard
12. Maid after the baby is born
13. Pony or Pony sized dog
14. Anything Gucci or Louis Vuitton
15. Skydiving lessons
16. Municipal bonds
17. Timeless piece of furniture


When I tried to recommend he invest in a mutual fund ETF he said "[That] would completely ignore the part of my post where I say I'm forcing her to spend it."

Dude...

[lemanfan]

13. Pony or Pony sized dog

Damn!  That's a cheap pony!  :)

In my corner of the world, its quite possible - if living in the city - to avoid owning a car.  We got busses, and most part of the year, climate friendly to walking or biking.  There's even a very cost efficient car pool system not unlike what's called "Zipcar" in the YS, a pay as you go system where you pay a small fee by kilometer and by hour.  Usually quite cheap compared to owning a car.

A friend lives 10 minutes walking distance from walk.  He just quit the car pool subscription and bought a car - this would increase his transport cost by a factor of three. 

The reason?  When you use the car pool system, you get a bill for each drive.  This means you drive less.  He did not want that psychological hurdle in his life - it's better with the "fixed cost" of a car loan...

[randymarsh]

The gun suggestions are kind of funny. That seems like an odd "treat" unless you were already a gun owner/enthusiast.

[Kitsune]

6. Prenatal massage

... no joke: YES.

Of course, that's said from the perspective of having insurance that covers 80% of the cost of a massage. When an hour and a half massage is 30$ out-of-pocket, that's an ENTIRELY reasonable luxury.

[infogoon]

My Relative:
"My wife recently came into $650. I'm forcing her to spend it. She doesn't want to use it on a bunch of little things and would prefer to get a more expensive item she'd normally never get. Ideas?"

I don't know why, but "iPad or AR15" is cracking me up.

[dandarc]

13. Pony or Pony sized dog

Damn!  That's a cheap pony!  :)

In my corner of the world, its quite possible - if living in the city - to avoid owning a car. 

Bet it is even easier to avoid owning a car if you have a pony!

[lemanfan]

13. Pony or Pony sized dog

Damn!  That's a cheap pony!  :)

In my corner of the world, its quite possible - if living in the city - to avoid owning a car. 

Bet it is even easier to avoid owning a car if you have a pony!

:)

If living in the city, you do almost always need a car to get to the stables.  :)

[onlykelsey]

13. Pony or Pony sized dog

Damn!  That's a cheap pony!  :)

In my corner of the world, its quite possible - if living in the city - to avoid owning a car. 

Bet it is even easier to avoid owning a car if you have a pony!

:)

If living in the city, you do almost always need a car to get to the stables.  :)

Off topic, but: http://www.odditycentral.com/news/the-concrete-cowboys-of-philadelphia.html

[lemanfan]

Off topic, but: http://www.odditycentral.com/news/the-concrete-cowboys-of-philadelphia.html

I like horses.  I don't ride, but I do like them.  Half a metric ton of muscles and brain like a walnut, but still very VERY perceptable to human feelings.  Magic. :)

[With This Herring]

An acquaintance mentioned she'd recently cleaned out the change cubby in her car and tallied $180.  Mostly change from her daily (or more frequent) lemonade stops. 

Since I rarely use cash, I commented that I'm pretty sure I don't amass that much change (anywhere, not just the car) over five years.  She replied that the last time she cleaned out the car (about a year ago), her change total was over $200.

LEMONADE STOPS?  What?
Is she aware that you can buy a bottle of lemon juice and a sack of white sugar and combine them with water to make delicious lemonade?  Seriously, people ask for the recipe when they drink this:
1 part sugar
1 part bottled lemon juice
6 parts water
Stir it together and you're done.
If you use a cup for each part, this makes a half-gallon batch.  It is cheap and delicious.  It keeps in the fridge for at least a week.  If you want it fancier, you could use fresh lemons or add lemon zest or crush a few berries in it.

[nobodyspecial]

6. Prenatal massage

Hopefully they have small hands .....

[TheGrimSqueaker]

6. Prenatal massage

Hopefully they have small hands .....

Ouch. Even I can't improve on that.

/hands over the scythe
/just for one day
/and it's not even noon yet

[MgoSam]

I'm seeing a lot of people on FB posting about how great their bf/gf/fiance/husband/wife is. One person posted that her fiance brought her coffee because she was having a rough day.

I feel like people that post gushing things about their SO are either compensating for something or feel like the world needs to know everything. I feel rather disinclined to pursue anyone that posts their life on social media. I know a lady that posted about a blind date and how she kept checking out a guy at another table. I hope she realizes that her date might see that?

[runningthroughFIRE]

I'm seeing a lot of people on FB posting about how great their bf/gf/fiance/husband/wife is. One person posted that her fiance brought her coffee because she was having a rough day.

I feel like people that post gushing things about their SO are either compensating for something or feel like the world needs to know everything. I feel rather disinclined to pursue anyone that posts their life on social media. I know a lady that posted about a blind date and how she kept checking out a guy at another table. I hope she realizes that her date might see that?

At least if he does, she can get bonus internet points when he "reacts" to her post with the little angry face emoji thing facebook implimented

[Mrs. S]

I'm seeing a lot of people on FB posting about how great their bf/gf/fiance/husband/wife is. One person posted that her fiance brought her coffee because she was having a rough day.

I feel like people that post gushing things about their SO are either compensating for something or feel like the world needs to know everything. I feel rather disinclined to pursue anyone that posts their life on social media. I know a lady that posted about a blind date and how she kept checking out a guy at another table. I hope she realizes that her date might see that?

+1^^^^

I absolutely do not feel the need to read prose upon prose of how your SO is the best person ever... just walk a few steps and tell them the words you are so overcome with!!!

[Kitsune]

I'm seeing a lot of people on FB posting about how great their bf/gf/fiance/husband/wife is. One person posted that her fiance brought her coffee because she was having a rough day.

I feel like people that post gushing things about their SO are either compensating for something or feel like the world needs to know everything. I feel rather disinclined to pursue anyone that posts their life on social media. I know a lady that posted about a blind date and how she kept checking out a guy at another table. I hope she realizes that her date might see that?

+1^^^^

I absolutely do not feel the need to read prose upon prose of how your SO is the best person ever... just walk a few steps and tell them the words you are so overcome with!!!

Maybe just anecdotal... But the people who start doing that regularly and with progressive frequency seem to be the ones who wind up breaking up a year later. At least in my circles.

[FIREwoman]

I'm seeing a lot of people on FB posting about how great their bf/gf/fiance/husband/wife is. One person posted that her fiance brought her coffee because she was having a rough day.

I feel like people that post gushing things about their SO are either compensating for something or feel like the world needs to know everything. I feel rather disinclined to pursue anyone that posts their life on social media. I know a lady that posted about a blind date and how she kept checking out a guy at another table. I hope she realizes that her date might see that?

+1^^^^

I absolutely do not feel the need to read prose upon prose of how your SO is the best person ever... just walk a few steps and tell them the words you are so overcome with!!!

Maybe just anecdotal... But the people who start doing that regularly and with progressive frequency seem to be the ones who wind up breaking up a year later. At least in my circles.

i had stayed FB friends with a guy i dated for about 2 seconds, just before he met his wife. he will post over-the-top gushy things about her as well. he was still sending me unsolicited c*ck-shots almost a year after he was married. :/

[Magilla]

I'm seeing a lot of people on FB posting about how great their bf/gf/fiance/husband/wife is. One person posted that her fiance brought her coffee because she was having a rough day.

I feel like people that post gushing things about their SO are either compensating for something or feel like the world needs to know everything. I feel rather disinclined to pursue anyone that posts their life on social media. I know a lady that posted about a blind date and how she kept checking out a guy at another table. I hope she realizes that her date might see that?

+1^^^^

I absolutely do not feel the need to read prose upon prose of how your SO is the best person ever... just walk a few steps and tell them the words you are so overcome with!!!

I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.

[dandarc]

I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.

One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

[MgoSam]

I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.

One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

When I bought my house a year ago a friend was curious why I didn't post it on FB. I didn't really have an answer ready, I just didn't think it was something I should advertise to the whole world.

[Kitsune]

I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.

One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

When I bought my house a year ago a friend was curious why I didn't post it on FB. I didn't really have an answer ready, I just didn't think it was something I should advertise to the whole world.

Yeah, we built a house and posted one (O-N-E) picture of the foundation, and that was because we stuck a lego Gandalf in it and thought it was cool and our friends would appreciate it.

We've gotten 10+ requests for a "house tour" on facebook. Like, want a tour? Come visit! We will provide! But the only people who are getting complete snapshots of our house and all our belongings is our insurance company, should the need arise.

[MgoSam]

I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.

One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

When I bought my house a year ago a friend was curious why I didn't post it on FB. I didn't really have an answer ready, I just didn't think it was something I should advertise to the whole world.

Yeah, we built a house and posted one (O-N-E) picture of the foundation, and that was because we stuck a lego Gandalf in it and thought it was cool and our friends would appreciate it.

We've gotten 10+ requests for a "house tour" on facebook. Like, want a tour? Come visit! We will provide! But the only people who are getting complete snapshots of our house and all our belongings is our insurance company, should the need arise.

Yeah, I don't really even like giving people a tour of my house. In general, I prefer to own things because I want them, not because I care to impress other people and I feel like when giving a tour, I care about their opinion of my house. Whereas in reality, it's a place for me to store my things, come home to, and rent out the spare bedrooms for cash.

[TheGrimSqueaker]

I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.

One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

When I bought my house a year ago a friend was curious why I didn't post it on FB. I didn't really have an answer ready, I just didn't think it was something I should advertise to the whole world.

Yeah, we built a house and posted one (O-N-E) picture of the foundation, and that was because we stuck a lego Gandalf in it and thought it was cool and our friends would appreciate it.

We've gotten 10+ requests for a "house tour" on facebook. Like, want a tour? Come visit! We will provide! But the only people who are getting complete snapshots of our house and all our belongings is our insurance company, should the need arise.

You have good instincts for personal security. Many people are robbed because the wrong person sees them posting pictures of what they own on social media.

[Canadian in KS]

I'm seeing a lot of people on FB posting about how great their bf/gf/fiance/husband/wife is. One person posted that her fiance brought her coffee because she was having a rough day.

I feel like people that post gushing things about their SO are either compensating for something...

Totally agree.

Probably no one but me remembers this, but many years ago (pre-Facebook generation!), when Richard Gere was married to Cindy Crawford, there were a bunch of stories in the tabloids about how they were headed for divorce. They took out a full page ad in the Times of London proclaiming how in love with each other they were and how their marriage was totally stable. I remember thinking at the time, why would they feel like they needed to announce this to the world? If everything was REALLY going great, why not just carry on and ignore the haters? Months later, they divorced.

[Inaya]

I'm seeing a lot of people on FB posting about how great their bf/gf/fiance/husband/wife is. One person posted that her fiance brought her coffee because she was having a rough day.

I feel like people that post gushing things about their SO are either compensating for something or feel like the world needs to know everything. I feel rather disinclined to pursue anyone that posts their life on social media. I know a lady that posted about a blind date and how she kept checking out a guy at another table. I hope she realizes that her date might see that?

+1^^^^

I absolutely do not feel the need to read prose upon prose of how your SO is the best person ever... just walk a few steps and tell them the words you are so overcome with!!!

I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.

I post photos on my wedding anniversary on both my FB accounts. Because I paid a small fortune for those photos, so you bet your ass I'm going to put them where people see them. But then again, I didn't inundate my FB with photos for the actual wedding, so I guess it equals out?

[MgoSam]

A friend posted for a friend asking if anyone is looking for a puppy. There is a lot of hogwash, basically their friend purchased a dog and failed to realize that puppies are a lot of work and don't come housebroken/trained, and that they are really tough to handle when you also a baby. They are asking $650, which is what they paid to the breeders.

[Sibley]

A friend posted for a friend asking if anyone is looking for a puppy. There is a lot of hogwash, basically their friend purchased a dog and failed to realize that puppies are a lot of work and don't come housebroken/trained, and that they are really tough to handle when you also a baby. They are asking $650, which is what they paid to the breeders.

They should do an owner surrender to a local no-kill animal shelter, and then refrain from getting another animal until they've grown up (the humans, not the dog). I'd also probably avoid them, because that kind of stupidity really bugs me.

[onlykelsey]

A friend posted for a friend asking if anyone is looking for a puppy. There is a lot of hogwash, basically their friend purchased a dog and failed to realize that puppies are a lot of work and don't come housebroken/trained, and that they are really tough to handle when you also a baby. They are asking $650, which is what they paid to the breeders.

That's how I got my purebred airedale working dog, for which the original owners paid 3200 (seven years ago).  They surrendered him to a rescue group (sooner rather than later, thankfully), and indicated that although he was extraordinarily gentle with their infant and toddler, tolerated being yanked on, showed no aggression to humans or dogs, and was easy going... they were surprised by how much they had to pick up his poop, and they were surprised at how big he was getting (despite getting him from a breeder of giant airedales and meeting his mom, who is actually BIGGER than him).

People are really dumb.  Always better to own up to this when it's a puppy and has a shot, though!

[Kitsune]

A friend posted for a friend asking if anyone is looking for a puppy. There is a lot of hogwash, basically their friend purchased a dog and failed to realize that puppies are a lot of work and don't come housebroken/trained, and that they are really tough to handle when you also a baby. They are asking $650, which is what they paid to the breeders.

They should do an owner surrender to a local no-kill animal shelter, and then refrain from getting another animal until they've grown up (the humans, not the dog). I'd also probably avoid them, because that kind of stupidity really bugs me.

ARGH, that's infuriating.

Especially because the period between 3 months (when breeders usually let a dog go) and 5 months is super key for the socialization of dogs around small children, cats, men, etc, and dogs that are abandoned 'because we work too much' are under-socialized and have picked up bad habits. You can do it outside that window, but it's a LOT more work and the dog will never be as comfortable as they would otherwise have been.

Basically: you want money for having taken the opportunity to make a dog's learning curve that much more difficult? Asshats.

[MrsDinero]

I'm seeing a lot of people on FB posting about how great their bf/gf/fiance/husband/wife is. One person posted that her fiance brought her coffee because she was having a rough day.

I feel like people that post gushing things about their SO are either compensating for something or feel like the world needs to know everything. I feel rather disinclined to pursue anyone that posts their life on social media. I know a lady that posted about a blind date and how she kept checking out a guy at another table. I hope she realizes that her date might see that?

+1^^^^

I absolutely do not feel the need to read prose upon prose of how your SO is the best person ever... just walk a few steps and tell them the words you are so overcome with!!!

I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.

I post photos on my wedding anniversary on both my FB accounts. Because I paid a small fortune for those photos, so you bet your ass I'm going to put them where people see them. But then again, I didn't inundate my FB with photos for the actual wedding, so I guess it equals out?

I don't mind the wedding photos for the exact reasons you laid out.

What I hate is the people who gush about how wonderful their SO is on FB and then talk (offline) about how horrible their relationship is.  UGH!  really gets on my nerves!!!

[dragoncar]

I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.

One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

I've heard it as a joke too, but this one is for real:  If your boyfriend has facebook, but you're not on it, he's not your boyfriend.

[dandarc]

I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.

One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

I've heard it as a joke too, but this one is for real:  If your boyfriend has facebook, but you're not on it, he's not your boyfriend.

By that logic, I'm not married.  Or do they just mean "on facebook" in terms of occasional  pictures and stuff and not necessarily the big "Relationship Status" declaration?

[onlykelsey]

I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.

One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

I've heard it as a joke too, but this one is for real:  If your boyfriend has facebook, but you're not on it, he's not your boyfriend.

By that logic, I'm not married.  Or do they just mean "on facebook" in terms of occasional  pictures and stuff and not necessarily the big "Relationship Status" declaration?

I still haven't accepted my husband's "married" relationship status invite, haha.  Everyone knows we're married but I don't like looking to facebook for weird validation of my status.  Like, I get why I might want to put a burner email up there so people can contact me, but I don't know why marriage status needs to be formalized on facebook.

[MgoSam]

I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.

One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

I've heard it as a joke too, but this one is for real:  If your boyfriend has facebook, but you're not on it, he's not your boyfriend.

By that logic, I'm not married.  Or do they just mean "on facebook" in terms of occasional  pictures and stuff and not necessarily the big "Relationship Status" declaration?

The term I've seen thrown around is "Facebook official." So if you're dating someone and consider yourself a couple, you aren't really a couple until you both post it on FB. My friends use it as a joke. The past several relationships are with people that have FB accounts but we both didn't think it was worth announcing anything to the world. We told the friends we hang out with and they undoubtedly told others, but that was it, there is no reason to tell the world.

[dragoncar]

I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.

One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

I've heard it as a joke too, but this one is for real:  If your boyfriend has facebook, but you're not on it, he's not your boyfriend.

By that logic, I'm not married.  Or do they just mean "on facebook" in terms of occasional  pictures and stuff and not necessarily the big "Relationship Status" declaration?

Yeah, I mean any content such as photos or whatever

[Uturn]

What if I don't know what my girlfriend's FB status is? 

[LeRainDrop]

What if I don't know what my girlfriend's FB status is?

Then she's keeping her options open ;-)

[jinga nation]

What if I don't know what my girlfriend's FB status is?

Then she's keeping her options open ;-)

I've been cold turkey on FB for about 2 years. But when I had the account, my status was "It's Complicated" while my wife's was "Married". She never checks her FB account.
I used this method to find out who was idle enough to waste time looking at my wife's and my profiles and extrapolate from there. I'd get private messages asking if our marriage was OK. My wife and I went to HS together so had a lot of common FB 'friends'. 'Twas fun while it lasted. But now I prefer my face between the pages of a physical book. The aroma of paper, ink, and glue is great for a nap.

[mustachepungoeshere]

I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.

One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

Not just a generational thing.

My now-husband and I got engaged in the evening. We had left Town A, where we were living, driven to Town B, he proposed, then we got in the car to travel to Town C to visit my parents for my birthday (I knew about everything except the stop-off at Town B and the proposal). So we were driving, at night, with very limited phone reception, and got in late.

The next morning his father posted on Facebook, before we'd had a chance to tell many people, "Don't forget to change your relationship status!"

On our honeymoon, my husband texted his parents a couple of updates from our trip. They posted the texts on Facebook, word for word. We flipped when we found out, and ordered them to delete the posts.

My opinion: how other people utilise social media should guide how you interact with them on social media. If they are private, respect that. If you visit their profile to congratulate them on news (engagement, birth, etc) and see no reference to it, sit on your damn hands.

[Cyaphas]

Not just a generational thing.

My now-husband and I got engaged in the evening. We had left Town A, where we were living, driven to Town B, he proposed, then we got in the car to travel to Town C to visit my parents for my birthday (I knew about everything except the stop-off at Town B and the proposal). So we were driving, at night, with very limited phone reception, and got in late.

The next morning his father posted on Facebook, before we'd had a chance to tell many people, "Don't forget to change your relationship status!"

On our honeymoon, my husband texted his parents a couple of updates from our trip. They posted the texts on Facebook, word for word. We flipped when we found out, and ordered them to delete the posts.

My opinion: how other people utilise social media should guide how you interact with them on social media. If they are private, respect that. If you visit their profile to congratulate them on news (engagement, birth, etc) and see no reference to it, sit on your damn hands.

My Father is terrible about this. I think it's a vicarious thing. When my siblings or I accomplish something or have a positive life event, we have to make sure we tell him specifically to keep it a secret. It sucks when someone steals your thunder, I understand he's proud, it just feels really.... cheap(?), maybe that's not the right word.

[TheGrimSqueaker]

Not just a generational thing.

My now-husband and I got engaged in the evening. We had left Town A, where we were living, driven to Town B, he proposed, then we got in the car to travel to Town C to visit my parents for my birthday (I knew about everything except the stop-off at Town B and the proposal). So we were driving, at night, with very limited phone reception, and got in late.

The next morning his father posted on Facebook, before we'd had a chance to tell many people, "Don't forget to change your relationship status!"

On our honeymoon, my husband texted his parents a couple of updates from our trip. They posted the texts on Facebook, word for word. We flipped when we found out, and ordered them to delete the posts.

My opinion: how other people utilise social media should guide how you interact with them on social media. If they are private, respect that. If you visit their profile to congratulate them on news (engagement, birth, etc) and see no reference to it, sit on your damn hands.

My Father is terrible about this. I think it's a vicarious thing. When my siblings or I accomplish something or have a positive life event, we have to make sure we tell him specifically to keep it a secret. It sucks when someone steals your thunder, I understand he's proud, it just feels really.... cheap(?), maybe that's not the right word.

Gossip has always existed, and one of the first things some people do when they get a piece of news is yap it around to everyone who will listen. ("Mom? Did you really need to tell Aunt Marge that I had emergency surgery to remove an embarrassing item?")

All social media does is allow a determined gossip to do maximum damage with one revelation, and to provide proof of the incident after the fact so that you can be annoyed by it repeatedly instead of only once.

[theadvicist]

Gossip has always existed, and one of the first things some people do when they get a piece of news is yap it around to everyone who will listen. ("Mom? Did you really need to tell Aunt Marge that I had emergency surgery to remove an embarrassing item?")

All social media does is allow a determined gossip to do maximum damage with one revelation, and to provide proof of the incident after the fact so that you can be annoyed by it repeatedly instead of only once.

Well, yes and no. Social media vastly improves the reach of the gossip. How many people the gossiper would see and tell in person is much fewer than the number they will likely reach with one facebook post. Also, it cements the gossip in cyberspace, potentially making it searchable, and creating a record.

So I agree people have always, and will always gossip. But social media does, in my opinion make it both easier and more fraught.

My Father is terrible about this. I think it's a vicarious thing. When my siblings or I accomplish something or have a positive life event, we have to make sure we tell him specifically to keep it a secret. It sucks when someone steals your thunder, I understand he's proud, it just feels really.... cheap(?), maybe that's not the right word.

My parents have done stuff like this too. To me it feels like bragging. Is that the word you're after? Or am I projecting?!

[mustachepungoeshere]

Not just a generational thing.

My now-husband and I got engaged in the evening. We had left Town A, where we were living, driven to Town B, he proposed, then we got in the car to travel to Town C to visit my parents for my birthday (I knew about everything except the stop-off at Town B and the proposal). So we were driving, at night, with very limited phone reception, and got in late.

The next morning his father posted on Facebook, before we'd had a chance to tell many people, "Don't forget to change your relationship status!"

On our honeymoon, my husband texted his parents a couple of updates from our trip. They posted the texts on Facebook, word for word. We flipped when we found out, and ordered them to delete the posts.

My opinion: how other people utilise social media should guide how you interact with them on social media. If they are private, respect that. If you visit their profile to congratulate them on news (engagement, birth, etc) and see no reference to it, sit on your damn hands.

My Father is terrible about this. I think it's a vicarious thing. When my siblings or I accomplish something or have a positive life event, we have to make sure we tell him specifically to keep it a secret. It sucks when someone steals your thunder, I understand he's proud, it just feels really.... cheap(?), maybe that's not the right word.

Cheap in the sense that it cheapens the experience for you, maybe?

What is odd with the ILs is the disparity between their lukewarm responses to us, and the enthusiasm with which they shout our lives from the rooftops. If they're going to be happy for us, couldn't they be happy for us in front of us?

[Papa Mustache]

I'm seeing a lot of people on FB posting about how great their bf/gf/fiance/husband/wife is. One person posted that her fiance brought her coffee because she was having a rough day.

I feel like people that post gushing things about their SO are either compensating for something or feel like the world needs to know everything. I feel rather disinclined to pursue anyone that posts their life on social media. I know a lady that posted about a blind date and how she kept checking out a guy at another table. I hope she realizes that her date might see that?

The one I know through DW is smoothing over a rocky marriage.

[Apples]

Not just a generational thing.

My now-husband and I got engaged in the evening. We had left Town A, where we were living, driven to Town B, he proposed, then we got in the car to travel to Town C to visit my parents for my birthday (I knew about everything except the stop-off at Town B and the proposal). So we were driving, at night, with very limited phone reception, and got in late.

The next morning his father posted on Facebook, before we'd had a chance to tell many people, "Don't forget to change your relationship status!"

On our honeymoon, my husband texted his parents a couple of updates from our trip. They posted the texts on Facebook, word for word. We flipped when we found out, and ordered them to delete the posts.

My opinion: how other people utilise social media should guide how you interact with them on social media. If they are private, respect that. If you visit their profile to congratulate them on news (engagement, birth, etc) and see no reference to it, sit on your damn hands.

My Father is terrible about this. I think it's a vicarious thing. When my siblings or I accomplish something or have a positive life event, we have to make sure we tell him specifically to keep it a secret. It sucks when someone steals your thunder, I understand he's proud, it just feels really.... cheap(?), maybe that's not the right word.

Cheap in the sense that it cheapens the experience for you, maybe?

What is odd with the ILs is the disparity between their lukewarm responses to us, and the enthusiasm with which they shout our lives from the rooftops. If they're going to be happy for us, couldn't they be happy for us in front of us?

Yes, we get this with my in-laws too, but it's about get togethers.  In person the experience is polite but usually a bit awkward, especially after a few days of everyone being passive aggressive to each other.  My MIL will want to go home instead of stopping at a brewery after dinner, but never states this desire out loud, and then have one beer and not join in the conversation at the brewery b/c she doesn't want to be there.  Meanwhile, on facebook there are instagram-worthy shots of the beers on the table with a caption saying "Having so much fun at xyz brewery with the kids-check out the cool beers! :)"  And if you haven't liked it by the next day, she'll tag you in it "so you know she put something up".  Ugh.  I wish some of the social media enthusiasm would seep into real life enthusiasm.  I mean, if they were teenagers I'd understand, but they're not.

[deadlymonkey]

I had a facebook account that I hadn't used or checked for years.  My wife (gf at the time) ended up deleting her account and then a year or so later wanted to get back on facebook, primarily to share photos with family/friends.  Instead of making a new one, we just used my old account under a joint name.

[Papa Mustache]

I wish some of the social media enthusiasm would seep into real life enthusiasm.

THAT!

[rockstache]

Yes, we get this with my in-laws too, but it's about get togethers.  In person the experience is polite but usually a bit awkward, especially after a few days of everyone being passive aggressive to each other.  My MIL will want to go home instead of stopping at a brewery after dinner, but never states this desire out loud, and then have one beer and not join in the conversation at the brewery b/c she doesn't want to be there.  Meanwhile, on facebook there are instagram-worthy shots of the beers on the table with a caption saying "Having so much fun at xyz brewery with the kids-check out the cool beers! :)"  And if you haven't liked it by the next day, she'll tag you in it "so you know she put something up".  Ugh.  I wish some of the social media enthusiasm would seep into real life enthusiasm.  I mean, if they were teenagers I'd understand, but they're not.

This sort of thing makes me CRAZY. A while back I hosted a friend and an acquaintance in my destination city. Friend and I tried so hard to help acquaintance have a good time, but she pouted, whined, and crabbed her way through the whole weekend, never wanting to do what we suggested OR suggest anything herself. In the end, we were both so relieved when she finally left. Then we noticed her FB status which (bizarrely) had multiple posts PER DAY about how much fun she was having, and how awesome my city was. I hadn't checked FB while she was here because I was, you know, trying to make sure she had a good time. #neverinvitedback

[TheGrimSqueaker]

Yes, we get this with my in-laws too, but it's about get togethers.  In person the experience is polite but usually a bit awkward, especially after a few days of everyone being passive aggressive to each other.  My MIL will want to go home instead of stopping at a brewery after dinner, but never states this desire out loud, and then have one beer and not join in the conversation at the brewery b/c she doesn't want to be there.  Meanwhile, on facebook there are instagram-worthy shots of the beers on the table with a caption saying "Having so much fun at xyz brewery with the kids-check out the cool beers! :)"  And if you haven't liked it by the next day, she'll tag you in it "so you know she put something up".  Ugh.  I wish some of the social media enthusiasm would seep into real life enthusiasm.  I mean, if they were teenagers I'd understand, but they're not.

This sort of thing makes me CRAZY. A while back I hosted a friend and an acquaintance in my destination city. Friend and I tried so hard to help acquaintance have a good time, but she pouted, whined, and crabbed her way through the whole weekend, never wanting to do what we suggested OR suggest anything herself. In the end, we were both so relieved when she finally left. Then we noticed her FB status which (bizarrely) had multiple posts PER DAY about how much fun she was having, and how awesome my city was. I hadn't checked FB while she was here because I was, you know, trying to make sure she had a good time. #neverinvitedback

I know a teen who whines and bitches the entire time I take her somewhere, who complains about absolutely everything, and who is glued to her phone to the point she gets snotty with me when we drive through a dead zone or when I ask her to put it away at the table and eat like a civilized person. But later her social media posts are full of pictures of the great time she's having. I often wonder: which of those feelings are real?

[pachnik]

Yes, we get this with my in-laws too, but it's about get togethers.  In person the experience is polite but usually a bit awkward, especially after a few days of everyone being passive aggressive to each other.  My MIL will want to go home instead of stopping at a brewery after dinner, but never states this desire out loud, and then have one beer and not join in the conversation at the brewery b/c she doesn't want to be there.  Meanwhile, on facebook there are instagram-worthy shots of the beers on the table with a caption saying "Having so much fun at xyz brewery with the kids-check out the cool beers! :)"  And if you haven't liked it by the next day, she'll tag you in it "so you know she put something up".  Ugh.  I wish some of the social media enthusiasm would seep into real life enthusiasm.  I mean, if they were teenagers I'd understand, but they're not.

This sort of thing makes me CRAZY. A while back I hosted a friend and an acquaintance in my destination city. Friend and I tried so hard to help acquaintance have a good time, but she pouted, whined, and crabbed her way through the whole weekend, never wanting to do what we suggested OR suggest anything herself. In the end, we were both so relieved when she finally left. Then we noticed her FB status which (bizarrely) had multiple posts PER DAY about how much fun she was having, and how awesome my city was. I hadn't checked FB while she was here because I was, you know, trying to make sure she had a good time. #neverinvitedback

I know a teen who whines and bitches the entire time I take her somewhere, who complains about absolutely everything, and who is glued to her phone to the point she gets snotty with me when we drive through a dead zone or when I ask her to put it away at the table and eat like a civilized person. But later her social media posts are full of pictures of the great time she's having. I often wonder: which of those feelings are real?

I wonder too which of the feelings are real.  This sounds very odd to me - how the person appears in the situation and how they want it to look on their Facebook account.   I'm just scratching head over here.   I'm guessing that a fun-looking Facebook image is more important than reality of the experience?

Full disclosure - I'm a person who is very new to Facebook and am mainly on it to communicate with a real life friend who has had to move away temporarily for medical reasons.