Overheard on Facebook

[Dollar Slice]

.  Then someone who I've never heard of jumped into my friends' list.  I had good security settings - to the best of my ability.  So I unfriended this person.   

Can you explain how this happened?  I am a facebook "light" user, and think that you have to accept a friend invite for them to appear -- is this not actually true?

IME, it's extremely easy to accidentally click on things, especially when you're on a mobile/touchscreen device. The page will hang, you poke it a couple of times, suddenly you've sent someone a friend request without realizing it. I've done it a couple of times with total strangers.

[Apples]

.  Then someone who I've never heard of jumped into my friends' list.  I had good security settings - to the best of my ability.  So I unfriended this person.   

Can you explain how this happened?  I am a facebook "light" user, and think that you have to accept a friend invite for them to appear -- is this not actually true?

Possibility that one of pachnik's friends changed their name on facebook?  Other than that I've never heard of something like this.

[With This Herring]

*snip, post follows many about the exploits of human pigs temporarily living with GrimSqueaker to help teach GS's daughter not to enable*

It will take a lot of work to restore the house and the pig room to its former condition after they move out. We've got to deep clean the carpets, scour the crayon marks out of my workroom table, and find and buy new crystals for my antique lamp because some of them are mysteriously missing even after I hunted down the ones that had been mysteriously relocated during piglet playtime.

TheGrimSqueaker, it has now been a few months.  Do you have any updates?  Are all the repairs done?  Does it look like the lesson is sticking for your daughter?  Did you ever explain to her that this was meant to be a lesson?

[pachnik]

.  Then someone who I've never heard of jumped into my friends' list.  I had good security settings - to the best of my ability.  So I unfriended this person.   

Can you explain how this happened?  I am a facebook "light" user, and think that you have to accept a friend invite for them to appear -- is this not actually true?

I thought so too.  It was probably a finger-fumbling mistake on my part.  But I don't remember accepting this person as a 'friend'. 

[Proud Foot]

.  Then someone who I've never heard of jumped into my friends' list.  I had good security settings - to the best of my ability.  So I unfriended this person.   

Can you explain how this happened?  I am a facebook "light" user, and think that you have to accept a friend invite for them to appear -- is this not actually true?

I thought so too.  It was probably a finger-fumbling mistake on my part.  But I don't remember accepting this person as a 'friend'.

Its possible that you could have sent them a request on accident.  I have done that before and didn't realize it until I got the notification that the person had accepted my request.

[LeRainDrop]

Friend:  "I'm so upset I have to get a new car. I love my car! Nothing I'm seeing is as good as mine! But 2 separate mechanics can't get the check engine light off so I can't pass emissions and told me it would be a lot of money I'm better off getting a new car. The only one I even like (and not as much) is 40k and my car is already paid off! I don't wanna say goodbye to my baby:( on a good note, the dealership says I have perfect credit!"

One Commenter:  "Time for a Mercedes Benz."

Second Commenter:  "Get a danali."

Third Commenter:  "You deserve a. New car .anyway. .go for it..you've worked your ass off ."

Fortunately, most commenters are suggesting that she may be able to get an emissions waiver if she can show the work the shops have done.

[exterous]

*weep*

Am I the only person who will read every word of a contract before signing it, to the great exasperation of the people who just want to get on with screwing me over??

No. We recently setup two trusts, POA and patient advocate and I read through every single word and asked questions to make sure I understood everything - even in the sections that I was informed were 'boilerplate'. I know the lawyer pretty well but no one else in the firm, including the person who served as a witness. When the lawyer said "I didn't realize you were so anal" the witness got a concerned look on her face. All she knew was that this was my first interaction with the firm. My wife turned to her and said "Don't worry, my husband takes that as a compliment especially since it came from a lawyer."

And she's right :)

[LeRainDrop]

Friend:  "I'm so upset I have to get a new car. I love my car! Nothing I'm seeing is as good as mine! But 2 separate mechanics can't get the check engine light off so I can't pass emissions and told me it would be a lot of money I'm better off getting a new car. The only one I even like (and not as much) is 40k and my car is already paid off! I don't wanna say goodbye to my baby:( on a good note, the dealership says I have perfect credit!"

One Commenter:  "Time for a Mercedes Benz."

Second Commenter:  "Get a danali."

Third Commenter:  "You deserve a. New car .anyway. .go for it..you've worked your ass off ."

Fortunately, most commenters are suggesting that she may be able to get an emissions waiver if she can show the work the shops have done.

Me:  "Why would you spend $40k on a car?!?! Surely there are MANY options with a more reasonable price."

Friend:  "I'm very picky."

[jinga nation]

Friend:  "I'm so upset I have to get a new car. I love my car! Nothing I'm seeing is as good as mine! But 2 separate mechanics can't get the check engine light off so I can't pass emissions and told me it would be a lot of money I'm better off getting a new car. The only one I even like (and not as much) is 40k and my car is already paid off! I don't wanna say goodbye to my baby:( on a good note, the dealership says I have perfect credit!"

One Commenter:  "Time for a Mercedes Benz."

Second Commenter:  "Get a danali."

Third Commenter:  "You deserve a. New car .anyway. .go for it..you've worked your ass off ."

Fortunately, most commenters are suggesting that she may be able to get an emissions waiver if she can show the work the shops have done.

Me:  "Why would you spend $40k on a car?!?! Surely there are MANY options with a more reasonable price."

Friend:  "I'm very picky."

Your friend is very picky about who will pick her wallet. It must be a well-qualified, experienced pickpocket salesman, not the riff-raff common thief. That way she can brag about being robbed by the best.

[UKMustache]

An acquaintance shared a link on my page (and several other peoples) for a debt management company.

Me:  "Why have you tagged me in that?"
Her:  "It's my friends company, they can put all your debt into one payment for you"
Me:  "Okay, that's not a service I would use"
Her:  "They're really good, they've been going for a long time and are really nice"
Me:  "I don't have any debt"
Her: "Oh"

[mwulff]

An acquaintance shared a link on my page (and several other peoples) for a debt management company.

Me:  "Why have you tagged me in that?"
Her:  "It's my friends company, they can put all your debt into one payment for you"
Me:  "Okay, that's not a service I would use"
Her:  "They're really good, they've been going for a long time and are really nice"
Me:  "I don't have any debt"
Her: "Oh"

Well played sir. People really can't wrap their heads around a debt-free existence.

[Friar]

An acquaintance shared a link on my page (and several other peoples) for a debt management company.

Me:  "Why have you tagged me in that?"
Her:  "It's my friends company, they can put all your debt into one payment for you"
Me:  "Okay, that's not a service I would use"
Her:  "They're really good, they've been going for a long time and are really nice"
Me:  "I don't have any debt"
Her: "Oh"

Do they also wrap UK student loans and mortgages into said payment? B)

[UKMustache]

An acquaintance shared a link on my page (and several other peoples) for a debt management company.

Me:  "Why have you tagged me in that?"
Her:  "It's my friends company, they can put all your debt into one payment for you"
Me:  "Okay, that's not a service I would use"
Her:  "They're really good, they've been going for a long time and are really nice"
Me:  "I don't have any debt"
Her: "Oh"

Do they also wrap UK student loans and mortgages into said payment? B)

Probably if you ask nicely enough (at 15% APR)

[Travis]

An acquaintance shared a link on my page (and several other peoples) for a debt management company.

Me:  "Why have you tagged me in that?"
Her:  "It's my friends company, they can put all your debt into one payment for you"
Me:  "Okay, that's not a service I would use"
Her:  "They're really good, they've been going for a long time and are really nice"
Me:  "I don't have any debt"
Her: "Oh"

Well played sir. People really can't wrap their heads around a debt-free existence.

Not really related to debt reduction, but rather to random Facebook shills.  I received a friend request from someone I used to work with.  I wasn't even sure this guy remember me, but we're living in the same city again so I said "why not?"  Within minutes of accepting his friend request, he sent me another friend request specifically for his consulting business.  I dropped both immediately.  A couple years ago one of my high school classmates who I never hear from started talking on Facebook about organizing a cruise and that she could find a really good rate for one.  A five minute look at her Facebook page would reveal being the organizer of this trip would earn her some kind of kickback from the cruise company. 

[frugalnacho]

An acquaintance shared a link on my page (and several other peoples) for a debt management company.

Me:  "Why have you tagged me in that?"
Her:  "It's my friends company, they can put all your debt into one payment for you"
Me:  "Okay, that's not a service I would use"
Her:  "They're really good, they've been going for a long time and are really nice"
Me:  "I don't have any debt"
Her: "Oh"

Do they also wrap UK student loans and mortgages into said payment? B)

Probably if you ask nicely enough (at 15% APR)

Wouldn't your debt then be dischargeable via bankruptcy where as the student loan wasn't?  Not sure how that works in the UK, but if you had significant student loan debt in the USA and could get some company to refinance you, even at a much higher APR you could come out ahead by just declaring bankruptcy.

[merula]

Not strictly finance-related, but a SUPER ANNOYING post from someone who posts are 60% MLM, 30% politics, and 10% baby pictures:

Do you realize that when you send someone a message in Facebook, it will show when the person has read it?
Believe me, I completely understand if you ignore a question or request or anything I say about my business. That, I do not take personally because business is business. #trustme
What hurts is when someone completely ignores a personal reach out. I am still ME. I am still your friend or family member. Please know if my intention was to talk about [MLM], I say that. If my intention is to tell you about a serious thing that has happened in my life or follow up on a serious life event for you, that is exactly what it is.
Facebook messenger is equivalent to texting or calling. It is one thing to take awhile to respond and a completely other thing to NEVER respond. Please realize words and lack of words hurt.
That is all. Stay well my friends and family. Much ❤️ to each of you.

This is a person I worked with fairly distantly 5+ years ago. I have not seen her since. I hadn't heard from her since, until last January, when she sent me a message talking about how she talked to a mutual friend about her "business", and at the end asked one question about me. Yeah, I ignored that. I have ZERO interest or obligation in talking to her, when it's obvious she's trying to sell me something.

[RWD]

An acquaintance shared a link on my page (and several other peoples) for a debt management company.

Me:  "Why have you tagged me in that?"
Her:  "It's my friends company, they can put all your debt into one payment for you"
Me:  "Okay, that's not a service I would use"
Her:  "They're really good, they've been going for a long time and are really nice"
Me:  "I don't have any debt"
Her: "Oh"

Do they also wrap UK student loans and mortgages into said payment? B)

Probably if you ask nicely enough (at 15% APR)

Wouldn't your debt then be dischargeable via bankruptcy where as the student loan wasn't?  Not sure how that works in the UK, but if you had significant student loan debt in the USA and could get some company to refinance you, even at a much higher APR you could come out ahead by just declaring bankruptcy.

I know that deliberately running up debt before bankruptcy is fraud, so I wouldn't be surprised if this sort of thing would run into legal trouble as well.

[frugalnacho]

An acquaintance shared a link on my page (and several other peoples) for a debt management company.

Me:  "Why have you tagged me in that?"
Her:  "It's my friends company, they can put all your debt into one payment for you"
Me:  "Okay, that's not a service I would use"
Her:  "They're really good, they've been going for a long time and are really nice"
Me:  "I don't have any debt"
Her: "Oh"

Do they also wrap UK student loans and mortgages into said payment? B)

Probably if you ask nicely enough (at 15% APR)

Wouldn't your debt then be dischargeable via bankruptcy where as the student loan wasn't?  Not sure how that works in the UK, but if you had significant student loan debt in the USA and could get some company to refinance you, even at a much higher APR you could come out ahead by just declaring bankruptcy.

I know that deliberately running up debt before bankruptcy is fraud, so I wouldn't be surprised if this sort of thing would run into legal trouble as well.

As opposed to accidentally running up debt? I accidentally bought a bunch of shit I can't afford.

Haha, I'm just fucking around.  I know what you mean.

[RWD]

I know that deliberately running up debt before bankruptcy is fraud, so I wouldn't be surprised if this sort of thing would run into legal trouble as well.

As opposed to accidentally running up debt? I accidentally bought a bunch of shit I can't afford.

Haha, I'm just fucking around.  I know what you mean.

:)

[Metric Mouse]

As opposed to accidentally running up debt? I accidentally bought a bunch of shit I can't afford.

Haha, I'm just fucking around.  I know what you mean.

I thought I was the only one - I, however, bought the shit on purpose; it was accidental that I was unable to afford it. :D

[frugalnacho]

As opposed to accidentally running up debt? I accidentally bought a bunch of shit I can't afford.

Haha, I'm just fucking around.  I know what you mean.

I thought I was the only one - I, however, bought the shit on purpose; it was accidental that I was unable to afford it. :D

Very similar to how the book Gru hated was "accidentally destroyed maliciously".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fuNNtmjDXs

[MgoSam]

As opposed to accidentally running up debt? I accidentally bought a bunch of shit I can't afford.

Haha, I'm just fucking around.  I know what you mean.

I thought I was the only one - I, however, bought the shit on purpose; it was accidental that I was unable to afford it. :D

Very similar to how the book Gru hated was "accidentally destroyed maliciously".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fuNNtmjDXs

How does one "accidently run up debt." Did they trip?

[Pooperman]

As opposed to accidentally running up debt? I accidentally bought a bunch of shit I can't afford.

Haha, I'm just fucking around.  I know what you mean.

I thought I was the only one - I, however, bought the shit on purpose; it was accidental that I was unable to afford it. :D

Very similar to how the book Gru hated was "accidentally destroyed maliciously".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fuNNtmjDXs

How does one "accidently run up debt." Did they trip?

[No Name Guy]

As opposed to accidentally running up debt? I accidentally bought a bunch of shit I can't afford.

Haha, I'm just fucking around.  I know what you mean.

I thought I was the only one - I, however, bought the shit on purpose; it was accidental that I was unable to afford it. :D

Very similar to how the book Gru hated was "accidentally destroyed maliciously".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fuNNtmjDXs

How does one "accidently run up debt." Did they trip?

Unless you're Paul Krugman and those of his ilk.  Then you swallow that belief - hook, line and sinker.

[Papa Mustache]

As opposed to accidentally running up debt? I accidentally bought a bunch of shit I can't afford.

Haha, I'm just fucking around.  I know what you mean.

I thought I was the only one - I, however, bought the shit on purpose; it was accidental that I was unable to afford it. :D

Very similar to how the book Gru hated was "accidentally destroyed maliciously".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fuNNtmjDXs

How does one "accidently run up debt." Did they trip?

Wait - isn't that how a person gets pregnant? Or married? Or buys a house accidentally?

[Kitsune]

As opposed to accidentally running up debt? I accidentally bought a bunch of shit I can't afford.

Haha, I'm just fucking around.  I know what you mean.

I thought I was the only one - I, however, bought the shit on purpose; it was accidental that I was unable to afford it. :D

Very similar to how the book Gru hated was "accidentally destroyed maliciously".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fuNNtmjDXs

How does one "accidently run up debt." Did they trip?

Wait - isn't that how a person gets pregnant? Or married? Or buys a house accidentally?

No joke: the first time my dad made a comment about me getting pregnant must've been accidental, haha (for the record: I was 29, with my husband, and we'd been trying for 5 months...), I totally looked at him with a deadpan expression and said "oops! I tripped and fell on a dick!" I, erm, did not hear a single other commet about my chosen means of reproduction afterwards.

[MasterStache]

What's this Facebook?

Haha I kid. Actually I deleted my Facebook account almost 3 years ago. Amazing how much more free time I had. I am part of the anti-social media crowd I guess you could say. I don't have Twitter or anything else either. I don't even have  a "smart phone." 

[marty998]

What's this Facebook?

Haha I kid. Actually I deleted my Facebook account almost 3 years ago. Amazing how much more free time I had. I am part of the anti-social media crowd I guess you could say. I don't have Twitter or anything else either. I don't even have  a "smart phone."

I used to be like you. But I've changed and gone the other way. I can see the merit in using it all in a responsible way. There are quite a number of benefits to social media and smart phones, especially for introverted people.

[Kitsune]

No joke: the first time my dad made a comment about me getting pregnant must've been accidental, haha (for the record: I was 29, with my husband, and we'd been trying for 5 months...), I totally looked at him with a deadpan expression and said "oops! I tripped and fell on a dick!" I, erm, did not hear a single other commet about my chosen means of reproduction afterwards.

I love this. I want to buy you a drink or something as a salute to how awesome that was. (Not now, of course, but when you are no longer making a small human.)

Haha, thanks. :)

There are advantages to having JUST enough awareness of social boundaries to not step all over them unintentionally, yet not actually caring about them... like, if you wanna step over that bridge, I will torch it and have no regrets.

[Half-Borg]

Friend bought a new dining room table, for just 3000€, what a steal oO

It's handmade by an actual carpenter though, may he find wiser uses for the money.

[Pooperman]

Friend bought a new dining room table, for just 3000€, what a steal oO

It's handmade by an actual carpenter though, may he find wiser uses for the money.

I got a dining table for $3k, too (though it came with 8 chairs, a cupboard, and a bookshelf). Solid wood, hand made. BIFL is important, I think.

[Half-Borg]

His might be sturdy, but if I know anything about that guy, which I do, he will not own that table for life.

[mustachepungoeshere]

Friend bought a new dining room table, for just 3000€, what a steal oO

It's handmade by an actual carpenter though, may he find wiser uses for the money.

I got a dining table for $3k, too (though it came with 8 chairs, a cupboard, and a bookshelf). Solid wood, hand made. BIFL is important, I think.

My dining table and sideboard cost $3000 new. I paid $800 for both (including original receipts) on eBay.

For $3000, I would be paranoid about people marking it. Or using it. Or looking at it.

[Metric Mouse]

Friend bought a new dining room table, for just 3000€, what a steal oO

It's handmade by an actual carpenter though, may he find wiser uses for the money.

I got a dining table for $3k, too (though it came with 8 chairs, a cupboard, and a bookshelf). Solid wood, hand made. BIFL is important, I think.

My dining table and sideboard cost $3000 new. I paid $800 for both (including original receipts) on eBay.

For $3000, I would be paranoid about people marking it. Or using it. Or looking at it.

I agree. I think I would rather buy three $800 tables than one $3,000 one. Different strokes though; nothing wrong with that.

[Pooperman]

Friend bought a new dining room table, for just 3000€, what a steal oO

It's handmade by an actual carpenter though, may he find wiser uses for the money.

I got a dining table for $3k, too (though it came with 8 chairs, a cupboard, and a bookshelf). Solid wood, hand made. BIFL is important, I think.

My dining table and sideboard cost $3000 new. I paid $800 for both (including original receipts) on eBay.

For $3000, I would be paranoid about people marking it. Or using it. Or looking at it.

I agree. I think I would rather buy three $800 tables than one $3,000 one. Different strokes though; nothing wrong with that.

The actual dining room table cost $700 new (the other stuff totaled $2300). Not as good as coming with a sideboard, but it looks amazing.

[LeRainDrop]

Friend:  "I'm so upset I have to get a new car. I love my car! Nothing I'm seeing is as good as mine! But 2 separate mechanics can't get the check engine light off so I can't pass emissions and told me it would be a lot of money I'm better off getting a new car. The only one I even like (and not as much) is 40k and my car is already paid off! I don't wanna say goodbye to my baby:( on a good note, the dealership says I have perfect credit!"

One Commenter:  "Time for a Mercedes Benz."

Second Commenter:  "Get a danali."

Third Commenter:  "You deserve a. New car .anyway. .go for it..you've worked your ass off ."

Fortunately, most commenters are suggesting that she may be able to get an emissions waiver if she can show the work the shops have done.

Me:  "Why would you spend $40k on a car?!?! Surely there are MANY options with a more reasonable price."

Friend:  "I'm very picky."

Your friend is very picky about who will pick her wallet. It must be a well-qualified, experienced pickpocket salesman, not the riff-raff common thief. That way she can brag about being robbed by the best.

Update

Friend:  "I didn't want to say goodbye to my baby, my Envoy. Until I met his hot younger brother, Acadia. Now I'm in love and he's mine! I overpaid but that's the price of love!"

[Paul der Krake]

I'm on a "Buy Nothing" group for my neighborhood. It's hip as shit. It's hella fun. Join one.

There is this lady who is either bullshitting everyone, moderately crazy, or awfully crafted at her game.

She comments on a good 1/4 of the all posts, and all her own posts are asks, not gives. The last ask was a K-cup coffee maker to make hot cocoa for her son. Every other variation of her messages reminds everyone how she's the most unlucky person in the world.

[dragoncar]

I'm on a "Buy Nothing" group for my neighborhood. It's hip as shit. It's hella fun. Join one.

Sorry, I'm already in a "Join Nothing" group

[No Name Guy]

Update

Friend:  "I didn't want to say goodbye to my baby, my Envoy. Until I met his hot younger brother, Acadia. Now I'm in love and he's mine! I overpaid but that's the price of love!"

I think Darth Vader said it best, something like

The stupid is strong in this one.

[MishMash]

Madame Bovary had a post up last week asking for unwanted jewelry so she can make her kid a jewelry box for Christmas.  I tend to buy box lots of vintage stuff to resell and had a bag of leftovers that weren't worth the money/effort to resell on Ebay so I volunteered it since we were going to be up there for Thanksgiving anyway and we aren't having a yardsale until the spring.

So Madame Bovary drove to my moms house (in her high school car that I am assuming her parents kept around) to pick it up and I saw her for the first time in probably 10 years.  She spent a good chunk of time bitching about her current life situation and asked DH questions about how she could "get back" at her soon to be ex husband for cutting her off knowing that DH has been in command a few times.  She didn't like that she pretty much has no recourse to milk him for a paycheck to say the least.  She went on a bitching fest that his current commander couldn't care less about her being able to feed herself etc.  Props to DH, he dead pans her and goes "you are an adult correct?  You made individual decisions that have negatively impacted you, your kids, and your husband, I'm not sure why you think the military and your ex husband have a responsibility to continue to support you in perpetuity.  Divorce is a civilian matter, there is not much the military can do for you without a civilian court order, especially since you don't have custody of the children.  If you opt to not retain counsel due to the short duration of your marriage then that is on you."  Turned around and walked back inside....slow clap for the husband.

PS, most of what I gave her was up on a local yardsale site, I don't think she realized I could see her posting in the forum.   So yup, officially done trying to help out Madame Bovary.

[frooglepoodle]

Madame Bovary had a post up last week asking for unwanted jewelry so she can make her kid a jewelry box for Christmas.  I tend to buy box lots of vintage stuff to resell and had a bag of leftovers that weren't worth the money/effort to resell on Ebay so I volunteered it since we were going to be up there for Thanksgiving anyway and we aren't having a yardsale until the spring.

So Madame Bovary drove to my moms house (in her high school car that I am assuming her parents kept around) to pick it up and I saw her for the first time in probably 10 years.  She spent a good chunk of time bitching about her current life situation and asked DH questions about how she could "get back" at her soon to be ex husband for cutting her off knowing that DH has been in command a few times.  She didn't like that she pretty much has no recourse to milk him for a paycheck to say the least.  She went on a bitching fest that his current commander couldn't care less about her being able to feed herself etc.  Props to DH, he dead pans her and goes "you are an adult correct?  You made individual decisions that have negatively impacted you, your kids, and your husband, I'm not sure why you think the military and your ex husband have a responsibility to continue to support you in perpetuity.  Divorce is a civilian matter, there is not much the military can do for you without a civilian court order, especially since you don't have custody of the children.  If you opt to not retain counsel due to the short duration of your marriage then that is on you."  Turned around and walked back inside....slow clap for the husband.

PS, most of what I gave her was up on a local yardsale site, I don't think she realized I could see her posting in the forum.   So yup, officially done trying to help out Madame Bovary.

Madame Bovary is my favorite recurring character on this thread. She's several of the worst military spouse I've met rolled into one person and made an order of magnitude worse.

[ChipmunkSavings]

*snip*

PS, most of what I gave her was up on a local yardsale site, I don't think she realized I could see her posting in the forum.   So yup, officially done trying to help out Madame Bovary.

She was trying to resell what you gave her? Wow.

[BTDretire]

Madame Bovary had a post up last week asking for unwanted jewelry so she can make her kid a jewelry box for Christmas.  I tend to buy box lots of vintage stuff to resell and had a bag of leftovers that weren't worth the money/effort to resell on Ebay so I volunteered it since we were going to be up there for Thanksgiving anyway and we aren't having a yardsale until the spring.

So Madame Bovary drove to my moms house (in her high school car that I am assuming her parents kept around) to pick it up and I saw her for the first time in probably 10 years.  She spent a good chunk of time bitching about her current life situation and asked DH questions about how she could "get back" at her soon to be ex husband for cutting her off knowing that DH has been in command a few times.  She didn't like that she pretty much has no recourse to milk him for a paycheck to say the least.  She went on a bitching fest that his current commander couldn't care less about her being able to feed herself etc.  Props to DH, he dead pans her and goes "you are an adult correct?  You made individual decisions that have negatively impacted you, your kids, and your husband, I'm not sure why you think the military and your ex husband have a responsibility to continue to support you in perpetuity.  Divorce is a civilian matter, there is not much the military can do for you without a civilian court order, especially since you don't have custody of the children.  If you opt to not retain counsel due to the short duration of your marriage then that is on you."  Turned around and walked back inside....slow clap for the husband.

PS, most of what I gave her was up on a local yardsale site, I don't think she realized I could see her posting in the forum.   So yup, officially done trying to help out Madame Bovary.

  Ah, uhm, could you help out a little, just for the stories?  :-)

[mm1970]

I'm on a "Buy Nothing" group for my neighborhood. It's hip as shit. It's hella fun. Join one.

There is this lady who is either bullshitting everyone, moderately crazy, or awfully crafted at her game.

She comments on a good 1/4 of the all posts, and all her own posts are asks, not gives. The last ask was a K-cup coffee maker to make hot cocoa for her son. Every other variation of her messages reminds everyone how she's the most unlucky person in the world.

I used to be a member of a group on Yahoo - freecycle.  Still am, not sure if it's still active.  Maybe they moved it to FB.

I got to be really good at noting the people who were givers and were askers.  I also kept a list of "flakes".  People who said they wanted something and didn't show.  The rules we had were that the giver could give it to anyone...not necessarily the first.  Best story, first person, whatever.  So I'd see who wanted my stuff and go through my lists.  Flakes were off the list.  People who gave stuff a lot got first dibs, then next up good stories.

[MishMash]

*snip*

PS, most of what I gave her was up on a local yardsale site, I don't think she realized I could see her posting in the forum.   So yup, officially done trying to help out Madame Bovary.

She was trying to resell what you gave her? Wow.

Yes, yes she was, and with that she LITERALLY hit on every stereotype that exists for a crappy mil spouse.  When DH and I got married I heard the stories, I thought that most of them were people making shit up.  Now after a decade I can say I have met three that probably helped create the stereotype and she is the worst of the batch.  I thought it couldn't get any worse then #2 (a druggie who abandoned 5 kids while her DH was deployed then got him arrested for DV charges when he had to come home on emergency leave and screamed at her and put his hand through a china hutch, effectively ending his career and any hope she had for alimony).  I was wrong, this high school friend is taking the cake.

Found out another detail.  Boy toy is also a vet (knew that) however, DH and I are fairly certain that he was an OTH or Dishonorable.  DH and I both mentioned why doesn't he use his GI Bill to go to school, they'll pay BAH while he does and there was a lot of hemming and hawing about saving it "for the kids" (hers).  I was like you know he can't transfer it because he's not their bio or legal father, and he's been out for 5 years (so wouldn't be eligible for a transfer anyway) and they tried saying that oh, he's getting a waiver etc.  DH and I were just like uh huh...OK.

There is no way you are passing up a grand plus a month and a free education when you are literally destitute and getting evicted.  I don't see much hope for better prospects for either of them

[mustachepungoeshere]

Friend:  "I didn't want to say goodbye to my baby, my Envoy. Until I met his hot younger brother, Acadia. Now I'm in love and he's mine! I overpaid but that's the price of love!"

And I'm sure it's true love. Until the infatuation wears off and Sierra starts flexing his muscles at her.

(Anthropomorphising vehicles makes me feel cheap.)

[Playing with Fire UK]

Madame Bovary had a post up last week asking for unwanted jewelry so she can make her kid a jewelry box for Christmas.

PS, most of what I gave her was up on a local yardsale site, I don't think she realized I could see her posting in the forum.   So yup, officially done trying to help out Madame Bovary.

Not cool Madame Bovary. Can you call her out on it like 'oh, I notice that your selling a shamrock charm; be strange coincidence I gave you one identical to that, you could pair them together and give them to kid / make more money' and repeat?

[MishMash]

Madame Bovary had a post up last week asking for unwanted jewelry so she can make her kid a jewelry box for Christmas.

PS, most of what I gave her was up on a local yardsale site, I don't think she realized I could see her posting in the forum.   So yup, officially done trying to help out Madame Bovary.

Not cool Madame Bovary. Can you call her out on it like 'oh, I notice that your selling a shamrock charm; be strange coincidence I gave you one identical to that, you could pair them together and give them to kid / make more money' and repeat?

Probably, but honestly, if she is putting in the effort to make some cash whatever, I just hope the kid actually gets some of it.  It was a cheap lesson for me to learn.  Back in the beginning up until now, I've honestly felt really bad for her.  And I understand that pretty much all of her current situation is due to her own personal choices but this was someone that I was genuinely very close to throughout high school so I've felt bad for her, I've had a couple of my own god awful years (last year being one of them) so I get that sometimes it feels like you can't stand back up without getting kicked in the nuts again.  I'm done with that now though.

DH has routinely kept telling me I'm a sucker when I reach out to help.  I think between the shunning of the food offerings and now this I'm done feeling bad for her.  So overall, that lesson only cost me a bag of cheap costume jewelry and my time. 

[Playing with Fire UK]

Madame Bovary had a post up last week asking for unwanted jewelry so she can make her kid a jewelry box for Christmas.

PS, most of what I gave her was up on a local yardsale site, I don't think she realized I could see her posting in the forum.   So yup, officially done trying to help out Madame Bovary.

Not cool Madame Bovary. Can you call her out on it like 'oh, I notice that your selling a shamrock charm; be strange coincidence I gave you one identical to that, you could pair them together and give them to kid / make more money' and repeat?

Probably, but honestly, if she is putting in the effort to make some cash whatever, I just hope the kid actually gets some of it.  It was a cheap lesson for me to learn.  Back in the beginning up until now, I've honestly felt really bad for her.  And I understand that pretty much all of her current situation is due to her own personal choices but this was someone that I was genuinely very close to throughout high school so I've felt bad for her, I've had a couple of my own god awful years (last year being one of them) so I get that sometimes it feels like you can't stand back up without getting kicked in the nuts again.  I'm done with that now though.

DH has routinely kept telling me I'm a sucker when I reach out to help.  I think between the shunning of the food offerings and now this I'm done feeling bad for her.  So overall, that lesson only cost me a bag of cheap costume jewelry and my time.

You are a better person than me and MB is lucky to have had her chance with you.

[zephyr911]

Holy fudge, I am getting a serious "dodged a bullet" sensation right now. Am still FB friends with ex-DW. We were bad with money when we were together, mostly because of always wanting this or that new thing (cars, vacations, clothing, toys, you name it) and the ensuing stress was a contributing factor to our failed relationship, but I really thought she'd learned (like I did) from how badly it affected both of us. I had the impression new hubby (last year or so) was well off and things were great materially, but these posts all popped up in the last couple of days:

YESTERDAY:
XDW: "After looking at the past few waterfront houses I'm completely stunned and amazed of how bad the conditions are for a $2000 rent payment. I want the view but I also don't want to die from a roof caving in, the mold, or the fact that the wood is not nailed down on the damn boat docks! Pretty Gross!"
Friend1: "Check out (location)."
XDW: "We have. Only 1 was something I would consider living in. But it was really just to small for my family of 6. "
Friend2: "You can buy mine for 225...."
XDW: "You're not on the water silly. We're only looking for waterfront"

TWO HOURS AGO:
XDW: "Due to moving and having a hard time finding a place that will allow 3 dogs, I am putting (5-month-old designer pet) up for sale. Help me find her an amazing home. $850"

ONE HOUR AGO:
XDW's hubby: *links to $500-per-couple charity wine auction* "Yay or nay?"

FOUR MINUTES AGO:
XDW: "Good god I need a hobby that is free."

I'm floored that they're not only stuck renting, but straining for the most expensive rental they can afford, while still indulging in luxury goods and experiences, despite having an actual sense of what the problem is. I guess it's just the standard American consumer nightmare....