Overheard on Facebook

[JAYSLOL]

A classmate from high school wrote on Facebook today

"Just keep winning free play on our lotto tickets (frowny face), I'd be happy with hundred thou and be out of debt.  Some day I'll win big (smiley face)"

Doubt it.  (Face palm face)

Update time.  Same person just posted a photo of a 65" 4K LED Smart TV with the caption "present for husband".  Dare I ask if she's out of debt now?

Another update, this just keeps getting worse.  Today she wrote

"I feel like the world has fallen on my shoulders, after I get baby to sleep I'm going to call subsidy to see if we qualify, but from the sounds of it we don't so we are basically screwed.  I can't afford $530 a month for daycare, LMAO, I'm already drowning in debt as it is"

I have no words.  No. Fucking. Words.

[shelivesthedream]

A classmate from high school wrote on Facebook today

"Just keep winning free play on our lotto tickets (frowny face), I'd be happy with hundred thou and be out of debt.  Some day I'll win big (smiley face)"

Doubt it.  (Face palm face)

Update time.  Same person just posted a photo of a 65" 4K LED Smart TV with the caption "present for husband".  Dare I ask if she's out of debt now?

Another update, this just keeps getting worse.  Today she wrote

"I feel like the world has fallen on my shoulders, after I get baby to sleep I'm going to call subsidy to see if we qualify, but from the sounds of it we don't so we are basically screwed.  I can't afford $530 a month for daycare, LMAO, I'm already drowning in debt as it is"

I have no words.  No. Fucking. Words.

I just don't understand these people who share this kind of thing on Facebook. I've read about how bad it is that people only ever share good things so everyone thinks everyone else's life is perfect, etc etc, but this level of sharing is...wow. That's close friend level, and no one is only Facebook friends with their close friends. You just don't know who's going to be seeing it, even if your privacy settings are jacked up to the max, because no one can remember the names of all X hundred Facebook friends from school or random parties or whatever.

[Inaya]

A classmate from high school wrote on Facebook today

"Just keep winning free play on our lotto tickets (frowny face), I'd be happy with hundred thou and be out of debt.  Some day I'll win big (smiley face)"

Doubt it.  (Face palm face)

Update time.  Same person just posted a photo of a 65" 4K LED Smart TV with the caption "present for husband".  Dare I ask if she's out of debt now?

Another update, this just keeps getting worse.  Today she wrote

"I feel like the world has fallen on my shoulders, after I get baby to sleep I'm going to call subsidy to see if we qualify, but from the sounds of it we don't so we are basically screwed.  I can't afford $530 a month for daycare, LMAO, I'm already drowning in debt as it is"

I have no words.  No. Fucking. Words.

I just don't understand these people who share this kind of thing on Facebook. I've read about how bad it is that people only ever share good things so everyone thinks everyone else's life is perfect, etc etc, but this level of sharing is...wow. That's close friend level, and no one is only Facebook friends with their close friends. You just don't know who's going to be seeing it, even if your privacy settings are jacked up to the max, because no one can remember the names of all X hundred Facebook friends from school or random parties or whatever.

My best guesses:

• Garnering pity
• Hoping somebody will offer money
• Lacking tact

[JAYSLOL]

A classmate from high school wrote on Facebook today

"Just keep winning free play on our lotto tickets (frowny face), I'd be happy with hundred thou and be out of debt.  Some day I'll win big (smiley face)"

Doubt it.  (Face palm face)

Update time.  Same person just posted a photo of a 65" 4K LED Smart TV with the caption "present for husband".  Dare I ask if she's out of debt now?

Another update, this just keeps getting worse.  Today she wrote

"I feel like the world has fallen on my shoulders, after I get baby to sleep I'm going to call subsidy to see if we qualify, but from the sounds of it we don't so we are basically screwed.  I can't afford $530 a month for daycare, LMAO, I'm already drowning in debt as it is"

I have no words.  No. Fucking. Words.

I just don't understand these people who share this kind of thing on Facebook. I've read about how bad it is that people only ever share good things so everyone thinks everyone else's life is perfect, etc etc, but this level of sharing is...wow. That's close friend level, and no one is only Facebook friends with their close friends. You just don't know who's going to be seeing it, even if your privacy settings are jacked up to the max, because no one can remember the names of all X hundred Facebook friends from school or random parties or whatever.

My best guesses:

• Garnering pity
• Hoping somebody will offer money
• Lacking tact

I think it's a bit of "needs attention" and "hoping someone will offer money" all rolled into one.  I don't follow this person on purpose and only post what I see pop up in my feed, but a quick check revealed they post a lot of status updates, like 5 or more a day.  I post maybe a couple a year, lol.  If my friends don't have to wonder wtf I'm up to most of the time, I'm not keeping my life mysterious enough IMO. 

[mustachepungoeshere]

I just don't understand these people who share this kind of thing on Facebook. I've read about how bad it is that people only ever share good things so everyone thinks everyone else's life is perfect, etc etc, but this level of sharing is...wow. That's close friend level, and no one is only Facebook friends with their close friends. You just don't know who's going to be seeing it, even if your privacy settings are jacked up to the max, because no one can remember the names of all X hundred Facebook friends from school or random parties or whatever.

My best guesses:

• Garnering pity
• Hoping somebody will offer money
• Lacking tact

I think it's a bit of "needs attention" and "hoping someone will offer money" all rolled into one.  I don't follow this person on purpose and only post what I see pop up in my feed, but a quick check revealed they post a lot of status updates, like 5 or more a day.  I post maybe a couple a year, lol.  If my friends don't have to wonder wtf I'm up to most of the time, I'm not keeping my life mysterious enough IMO.
[/quote]

We had a frustrating in incident with an ... acquaintance of my husband last weekend. He had had a rough time of it, judging by the "love you, babe, you're my angel" and "heartbroken, life is not worth living" posts in quick succession. Then it was his birthday, which he embraced as an opportunity to ruminate on his life as an overweight, recently dumped, failed [insert outlandish fantasy career here].

He then proceeded to post several updates along the lines of "I give up. Over it. Life's not worth living."

This immediately panicked his entire Facebook following, who invariably posted motivational updates and concerns for his wellbeing.

We've lost several people who have taken their own life, so we do not fuck around when someone makes threats like this. My husband called the police in his town, asked them to conduct a welfare check, provided his vehicle make, model and registration, and where he could most likely be found if he wasn't at home.

While he was doing this I monitoring (through Messenger) the guy's Facebook activity, which was constantly saying "last active six minutes ago", "last active two minutes ago".

My husband barely slept that night, and continued to send encouraging messages (including suggesting he call Lifeline if he wanted to remain anonymous).

The guy posted the next morning to say that he had passed out and hadn't checked his phone. Which we know is bullshit. But at the end of the day, he was ok, and we don't regret getting involved. My husband has since reached out to him to suggest he get some help, rather than waiting until he's in the pits of despair again.

But it did seem as if the whole Facebook tragedy was for attention.

[Vindicated]

But it did seem as if the whole Facebook tragedy was for attention.

I've been seeing a similar thing from a FB friend.  Always something terrible going on, and I would feel bad, but it seems that something terrible is happening every other day.  Either this person has the worst luck in the world, or they're just making things up.  I feel bad wondering if everything they post is fake, since one time they posted that they had lost their pregnancy.  Then the next day said the Dr told them they have a second baby, and that there was going to be twins that the first ultrasound didn't notice.  So, were there twins?  Or did they really not lose a pregnancy?  No way to know.  I feel terrible for wondering.

[hypocrispy]

Thought you guys would get a kick out of this...

My cousin just messaged me with a photo of her dog and a brand new purchase she just made. It's a stuff animal made to look like her dog. The stuffed animal looks quite cute and well made... $250. Purchased by the woman who "sleeps in the rain" because her roof leaks and she has no money to fix it on a pharmacist's salary. Did I mention her father has been making her mortgage payments? And has over SIX online game subscriptions (ie World of Warcraft and the like)?

Apparently she thinks I should get a lookalike stuffed animal too. I tried not to laugh in her face.

[Vindicated]

Thought you guys would get a kick out of this...

My cousin just messaged me with a photo of her dog and a brand new purchase she just made. It's a stuff animal made to look like her dog. The stuffed animal looks quite cute and well made... $250. Purchased by the woman who "sleeps in the rain" because her roof leaks and she has no money to fix it on a pharmacist's salary. Did I mention her father has been making her mortgage payments? And has over SIX online game subscriptions (ie World of Warcraft and the like)?

Apparently she thinks I should get a lookalike stuffed animal too. I tried not to laugh in her face.

Wow!  $250 for a stuffed animal!

I spent $20 one year on a custom Christmas ornament that looks like our dog.  That was enough for me.

[zolotiyeruki]

Apparently she thinks I should get a lookalike stuffed animal too. I tried not to laugh in her face.

How about "Nah, I prefer a roof that doesn't leak"

[ketchup]

Apparently she thinks I should get a lookalike stuffed animal too. I tried not to laugh in her face.

How about "Nah, I prefer a roof that doesn't leak"

I know a guy who in practically the same sentence complained about not being able to afford an "expensive" (like $100 dude...) vet bill for his dog and his roof leaking, and explana-bragged about the racing stripes he was getting put on his at-the-time brand-new Dodge Challenger.

But no, racing stripes are more important than your house or your dog.

[HairyUpperLip]

I know a guy who in practically the same sentence complained about not being able to afford an "expensive" (like $100 dude...) vet bill for his dog and his roof leaking, and explana-bragged about the racing stripes he was getting put on his at-the-time brand-new Dodge Challenger.

But no, racing stripes are more important than your house or your dog.

Use some common sense man, if the roof collapses at least he can get away quickly...

[Just Joe]

I can't see why this works for other people when for the average mustachian it might lead to a long term facial twitch. I get why we twitch, I don't get why they don't see the absurdity of their situations.

[mustachepungoeshere]

Not overheard on Facebook; a friend called me last night with updates about his friend. Let's call him Fred.

Fred is Australian and was visiting the US a couple of years ago when he got on Tinder one night in Vegas and met a girl, Wilma.

Within days he had proposed and she had plans to follow him back here.

He came back to Australia at the end of his trip, and she came out later. She couldn't work (visa restrictions) so he was supporting both of them.

Then she returned to the US and he was flying back and forth to see her while they continued planning the wedding.

Last week she visited him in Australia and ended it. She had conveniently left the engagement ring* in the US.

He has since admitted to his mates that he had followed the 'three-months' salary' advice, and spent $14,000 on the ring.

Which he is still paying off.



*I know laws vary on this one and that most places see an engagement ring as a gift that does not have to be returned, but to me it would be the polite thing to do, especially if he is making payments on it.

[AlanStache]

Not overheard on Facebook; a friend called me last night with updates about his friend. Let's call him Fred.

Fred is Australian and was visiting the US a couple of years ago when he got on Tinder one night in Vegas and met a girl, Wilma.

Within days he had proposed and she had plans to follow him back here.

He came back to Australia at the end of his trip, and she came out later. She couldn't work (visa restrictions) so he was supporting both of them.

Then she returned to the US and he was flying back and forth to see her while they continued planning the wedding.

Last week she visited him in Australia and ended it. She had conveniently left the engagement ring* in the US.

He has since admitted to his mates that he had followed the 'three-months' salary' advice, and spent $14,000 on the ring.

Which he is still paying off.



*I know laws vary on this one and that most places see an engagement ring as a gift that does not have to be returned, but to me it would be the polite thing to do, especially if he is making payments on it.

gifts given in Vegas stay in Vegas

[LeRainDrop]

Just posted to my condo building residents' website (emphasis added):

I am planning on selling my car. Its a 2017 Honda Accord EX-L with 35xx miles on it. I bought it a month ago and thinking of trading it in for a different car. Before I go to the dealer next week. I wanted to offer the car to the community. I am asking $26K for it. It has full warranty. It is a black car with beige leather interior. Please let me know if there is any interest. [phone number]

[Freedom Invested]

Not overheard on Facebook; a friend called me last night with updates about his friend. Let's call him Fred.

Fred is Australian and was visiting the US a couple of years ago when he got on Tinder one night in Vegas and met a girl, Wilma.

Within days he had proposed and she had plans to follow him back here.

He came back to Australia at the end of his trip, and she came out later. She couldn't work (visa restrictions) so he was supporting both of them.

Then she returned to the US and he was flying back and forth to see her while they continued planning the wedding.

Last week she visited him in Australia and ended it. She had conveniently left the engagement ring* in the US.

He has since admitted to his mates that he had followed the 'three-months' salary' advice, and spent $14,000 on the ring.

Which he is still paying off.



*I know laws vary on this one and that most places see an engagement ring as a gift that does not have to be returned, but to me it would be the polite thing to do, especially if he is making payments on it.

gifts given in Vegas stay in Vegas

I hope this will be a good lesson for him, albeit expensive. I doubt he will be getting it back. I never understood the wastefulness of those rings. Diamonds are so incredibly common it is sickening what Dabeers and the like do.

Plain rings for me all of the way. We haven't lost them yet, but it won't be a big financial loss if we do.

[zolotiyeruki]

I hope this will be a good lesson for him, albeit expensive. I doubt he will be getting it back. I never understood the wastefulness of those rings. Diamonds are so incredibly common it is sickening what Dabeers and the like do.

Plain rings for me all of the way. We haven't lost them yet, but it won't be a big financial loss if we do.

DW's rings don't fit any more, so rather than pay a bunch of money to have them resized, I just bought a few sizes of plain stainless bands for Christmas.  I got three bands for about $4 each, and without closer inspection, you'd never think to suspect that they're not white gold.

[Inaya]

The wife of one of my closest friends recently posted on Facebook about buying a very expensive cup. These are folks that have lots of money struggles, some self-inflicted, some not. For instance, they couldn't afford $100 for an emergency vet visit. We recently visited them and spent a lot of money so they could do things with us they otherwise wouldn't be able to afford. The wife started taking it for granted by the end of the week and didn't even bother to thank me. And she then she drops $40 on a cup. Like... you're throwing money away, but you couldn't be arsed to chip in for gas or parking or something? Or maybe save it so next time your dog (or God forbid your new grandchild) has an emergency you don't have to panic because you don't have cash on hand?

[MrDelane]

A guy I know (who in the past year asked me for a loan to avoid an eviction) just posted a photo of the custom made hand crafted samurai sword he ordered from Japan.  It is hanging in his living room.

I assume this means he was able to avoid being evicted.

Or... maybe it's part of his plan to avoid the NEXT eviction.

[marielle]

The wife of one of my closest friends recently posted on Facebook about buying a very expensive cup. These are folks that have lots of money struggles, some self-inflicted, some not. For instance, they couldn't afford $100 for an emergency vet visit. We recently visited them and spent a lot of money so they could do things with us they otherwise wouldn't be able to afford. The wife started taking it for granted by the end of the week and didn't even bother to thank me. And she then she drops $40 on a cup. Like... you're throwing money away, but you couldn't be arsed to chip in for gas or parking or something? Or maybe save it so next time your dog (or God forbid your new grandchild) has an emergency you don't have to panic because you don't have cash on hand?

$100 for an emergency vet visit and they can't pay it? Wow, yearly vet visits for me are $169 for a bloodwork and everything (cat). I wouldn't ever pay anything for them again, stick to free or cheap activities (which can be just as fun of course).

[Inaya]

The wife of one of my closest friends recently posted on Facebook about buying a very expensive cup. These are folks that have lots of money struggles, some self-inflicted, some not. For instance, they couldn't afford $100 for an emergency vet visit. We recently visited them and spent a lot of money so they could do things with us they otherwise wouldn't be able to afford. The wife started taking it for granted by the end of the week and didn't even bother to thank me. And she then she drops $40 on a cup. Like... you're throwing money away, but you couldn't be arsed to chip in for gas or parking or something? Or maybe save it so next time your dog (or God forbid your new grandchild) has an emergency you don't have to panic because you don't have cash on hand?

$100 for an emergency vet visit and they can't pay it? Wow, yearly vet visits for me are $169 for a bloodwork and everything (cat). I wouldn't ever pay anything for them again, stick to free or cheap activities (which can be just as fun of course).

My understanding is the $100 was up front just to SEE the vet. They eventually found a vet that didn't require the up-front fee--I presume actual treatment went on credit cards. It was a special trip because our mutual friend was visiting from England, and we wanted to all go to Universal Studios together and didn't want to exclude our less wealthy friend (which meant also not excluding the wife and two kids).  I would honestly walk through fire for this friend (brother I never had), but his wife drives me up a wall. She was poorly behaved the whole time we were there to be honest--otherwise I wouldn't have batted an eyelash at spending.

[Just Joe]

Just posted to my condo building residents' website (emphasis added):

I am planning on selling my car. Its a 2017 Honda Accord EX-L with 35xx miles on it. I bought it a month ago and thinking of trading it in for a different car. Before I go to the dealer next week. I wanted to offer the car to the community. I am asking $26K for it. It has full warranty. It is a black car with beige leather interior. Please let me know if there is any interest. [phone number]

Holy crow - it would have been cheaper to go to a car rental place and rent their best vehicle for a month. That person is going to loose $5K or more in transaction fees (depreciation, taxes/title, markup on the new vehicle). I'd much rather go to Europe with that evaporating $5K.

[solon]

Just posted to my condo building residents' website (emphasis added):

I am planning on selling my car. Its a 2017 Honda Accord EX-L with 35xx miles on it. I bought it a month ago and thinking of trading it in for a different car. Before I go to the dealer next week. I wanted to offer the car to the community. I am asking $26K for it. It has full warranty. It is a black car with beige leather interior. Please let me know if there is any interest. [phone number]

Holy crow - it would have been cheaper to go to a car rental place and rent their best vehicle for a month. That person is going to loose $5K or more in transaction fees (depreciation, taxes/title, markup on the new vehicle). I'd much rather go to Europe with that evaporating $5K.

He must not have bought it new. There's no way to drive 35,000 miles in one month.

[ketchup]

Just posted to my condo building residents' website (emphasis added):

I am planning on selling my car. Its a 2017 Honda Accord EX-L with 35xx miles on it. I bought it a month ago and thinking of trading it in for a different car. Before I go to the dealer next week. I wanted to offer the car to the community. I am asking $26K for it. It has full warranty. It is a black car with beige leather interior. Please let me know if there is any interest. [phone number]

Holy crow - it would have been cheaper to go to a car rental place and rent their best vehicle for a month. That person is going to loose $5K or more in transaction fees (depreciation, taxes/title, markup on the new vehicle). I'd much rather go to Europe with that evaporating $5K.

He must not have bought it new. There's no way to drive 35,000 miles in one month.

I assume 35xx miles means 3,5xx miles as in three and a half thousand miles.  That's doable in a month.

Madness.

[zolotiyeruki]

Just posted to my condo building residents' website (emphasis added):

I am planning on selling my car. Its a 2017 Honda Accord EX-L with 35xx miles on it. I bought it a month ago and thinking of trading it in for a different car. Before I go to the dealer next week. I wanted to offer the car to the community. I am asking $26K for it. It has full warranty. It is a black car with beige leather interior. Please let me know if there is any interest. [phone number]

Holy crow - it would have been cheaper to go to a car rental place and rent their best vehicle for a month. That person is going to loose $5K or more in transaction fees (depreciation, taxes/title, markup on the new vehicle). I'd much rather go to Europe with that evaporating $5K.

He must not have bought it new. There's no way to drive 35,000 miles in one month.

The 2017 Accord was released in June 2016, so it's at *most* 11 months old.  That means that over its short life, it has been driven over 100 miles per day, on average.  That's still nuts.

[LeRainDrop]

Just posted to my condo building residents' website (emphasis added):

I am planning on selling my car. Its a 2017 Honda Accord EX-L with 35xx miles on it. I bought it a month ago and thinking of trading it in for a different car. Before I go to the dealer next week. I wanted to offer the car to the community. I am asking $26K for it. It has full warranty. It is a black car with beige leather interior. Please let me know if there is any interest. [phone number]

Holy crow - it would have been cheaper to go to a car rental place and rent their best vehicle for a month. That person is going to loose $5K or more in transaction fees (depreciation, taxes/title, markup on the new vehicle). I'd much rather go to Europe with that evaporating $5K.

He must not have bought it new. There's no way to drive 35,000 miles in one month.

The 2017 Accord was released in June 2016, so it's at *most* 11 months old.  That means that over its short life, it has been driven over 100 miles per day, on average.  That's still nuts.

Worse -- the guy later added to his post, "Forgot to add, I bought it for $33k one month ago"!!!!!!  So, in one month, 3,500 miles and $7,000 loss (setting aside tax and registration)!!!!

[Inaya]

The wife of one of my closest friends recently posted on Facebook about buying a very expensive cup. These are folks that have lots of money struggles, some self-inflicted, some not. For instance, they couldn't afford $100 for an emergency vet visit. We recently visited them and spent a lot of money so they could do things with us they otherwise wouldn't be able to afford. The wife started taking it for granted by the end of the week and didn't even bother to thank me. And she then she drops $40 on a cup. Like... you're throwing money away, but you couldn't be arsed to chip in for gas or parking or something? Or maybe save it so next time your dog (or God forbid your new grandchild) has an emergency you don't have to panic because you don't have cash on hand?

From the site:

THE IBEX TUMBLER SECRET

Tested and approved by construction crews, Extreme athletes and soccer moms, the IBEX Tumbler features 2 layers of extra thick kitchen grade 18/8 Stainless Steel, vacuum sealed to ensure maximum temperature retention.

Amazing ;)

Well, it does keep ice frozen for 72 hours!

[Just Joe]

Just posted to my condo building residents' website (emphasis added):

I am planning on selling my car. Its a 2017 Honda Accord EX-L with 35xx miles on it. I bought it a month ago and thinking of trading it in for a different car. Before I go to the dealer next week. I wanted to offer the car to the community. I am asking $26K for it. It has full warranty. It is a black car with beige leather interior. Please let me know if there is any interest. [phone number]

Holy crow - it would have been cheaper to go to a car rental place and rent their best vehicle for a month. That person is going to loose $5K or more in transaction fees (depreciation, taxes/title, markup on the new vehicle). I'd much rather go to Europe with that evaporating $5K.

He must not have bought it new. There's no way to drive 35,000 miles in one month.

The 2017 Accord was released in June 2016, so it's at *most* 11 months old.  That means that over its short life, it has been driven over 100 miles per day, on average.  That's still nuts.

Worse -- the guy later added to his post, "Forgot to add, I bought it for $33k one month ago"!!!!!!  So, in one month, 3,500 miles and $7,000 loss (setting aside tax and registration)!!!!

Oh that's worse than I imagined.

[Proud Foot]

The wife of one of my closest friends recently posted on Facebook about buying a very expensive cup. These are folks that have lots of money struggles, some self-inflicted, some not. For instance, they couldn't afford $100 for an emergency vet visit. We recently visited them and spent a lot of money so they could do things with us they otherwise wouldn't be able to afford. The wife started taking it for granted by the end of the week and didn't even bother to thank me. And she then she drops $40 on a cup. Like... you're throwing money away, but you couldn't be arsed to chip in for gas or parking or something? Or maybe save it so next time your dog (or God forbid your new grandchild) has an emergency you don't have to panic because you don't have cash on hand?

From the site:

THE IBEX TUMBLER SECRET

Tested and approved by construction crews, Extreme athletes and soccer moms, the IBEX Tumbler features 2 layers of extra thick kitchen grade 18/8 Stainless Steel, vacuum sealed to ensure maximum temperature retention.

Amazing ;)

Well, it does keep ice frozen for 72 hours!

Why does it need to keep ice frozen for 72 hours? That doesn't matter to me! I got a 2 pack at Sam's for $20 and they work just fine for me.

[MgoSam]

Tested and approved by construction crews, Extreme athletes and soccer moms

Never thought I would see extreme athletes and soccer moms lumped together into the same category.

I can see the high price point if it is incredibly sturdy, though I'm sure there are inexpensive items out there that could survive a lot of abuse and keep ice cold for many hours.

This reminds me of a collaboration between a head shop and an architecture firm, they created a $12,000 bong! Part of their explanation was that it was created using a 3d printer that's designed to make items destined to survive space travel. WTF would you need such an item? The bong has been ridiculed by most blowers, store owners, and users that I've spoken to.

[Abo345]

Friend on FB starts a gofundme to raise money for her kid's medical treatment. They need to fly to the opposite coast to see a particular doctor who specializes in this one medical area. They already have insurance but say they need to raise $50k because the doctor is out of network and cover time off work, travel, etc. a large sum of money (considering the out of pocket max covers out of network providers and is usually under $10k). But they are successful in raising close to their goal and keep posting updates to keep donating. It was actually touching to see people I personally know who are not particularly well-off be so generous with donating to this person.

A few months later she posts pictures of her kid on fb, and I can't help but notice the all decked out matching pottery barn furniture, bedding, and wall decor in the background of the kid's room! And then she posts photos of her family, including the kid, on vacation out of their area...for 2 weeks! She says this is the nicest vacation they have had since their honeymoon!

I'm all about travel and all...but don't you think if you are public begging for money and relying on others to give their hard earned money to cover your family's medical expenses, maybe now isn't the time to start upping your lifestyle? Just a thought...

[CindyBS]

Friend on FB starts a gofundme to raise money for her kid's medical treatment. They need to fly to the opposite coast to see a particular doctor who specializes in this one medical area. They already have insurance but say they need to raise $50k because the doctor is out of network and cover time off work, travel, etc. a large sum of money (considering the out of pocket max covers out of network providers and is usually under $10k). But they are successful in raising close to their goal and keep posting updates to keep donating. It was actually touching to see people I personally know who are not particularly well-off be so generous with donating to this person.

A few months later she posts pictures of her kid on fb, and I can't help but notice the all decked out matching pottery barn furniture, bedding, and wall decor in the background of the kid's room! And then she posts photos of her family, including the kid, on vacation out of their area...for 2 weeks! She says this is the nicest vacation they have had since their honeymoon!

I'm all about travel and all...but don't you think if you are public begging for money and relying on others to give their hard earned money to cover your family's medical expenses, maybe now isn't the time to start upping your lifestyle? Just a thought...

Also, there are charities that pay for this type of thing.  American Airlines will fly kids and their families for free for medical care, Ronald McDonald House puts up families and their kids for treatment.  Make a Wish will give critically ill kids a vacation.

I have a critically ill child myself so I am familiar with this world.  We had a very long consult with social workers and ideally everyone with a really sick kid should.  S/he should hook someone up with these programs, but even if not, a simple internet search will find them.

We also have a neighbor with a sick kid who totally exploits Go Fund Me to raise money for things like fixing the grade in her yard so "he has a safe place to stay". 

I don't have a Go Fund Me, and we afford it because we have always lived below our means.  Even though I had to stop working, we still can afford everything we need (not upgrades).  Basically our saving for FIRE has gone way down.  I do occasionally sign up for freebies from charities (like a hat), and we do ask friends for meals and occasional babysitting after they have offered.  I graciously accept any gift cards given to us from friends (not requested), but have never asked for money ever. 

There are people who truly have nothing and a sick kid.  But for most people I bet it is a matter refusing to lower their standard of living at all.   Drives me crazy to see people capitalize on their cute, sick kids. 

[Just Joe]

I worry the money grabbers will wear out the generosity of others so when there is a real need - it won't be there.

[TheGrimSqueaker]

I worry the money grabbers will wear out the generosity of others so when there is a real need - it won't be there.

It's happening already in my city. There are so many police officers shot in the line of duty, kids shot accidentally, people shot in arguments over something as basic as taking too long at a car wash, and victims of random drive-by shootings, drunk drivers, or carjackers that people are pretty much used to constant public appeals for funeral money. You can't drive from one end of town to the other without seeing a memorial or an "in memory of" car wash. Add to that the constant solicitation from charities you ask to take you off their mailing lists, and the fact you can't do something as simple as buy groceries without being asked to donate to this or that, and the drumbeat of Give-give-give-give is pretty much never-ending. People tune it out.

[Abo345]

Friend on FB starts a gofundme to raise money for her kid's medical treatment. They need to fly to the opposite coast to see a particular doctor who specializes in this one medical area. They already have insurance but say they need to raise $50k because the doctor is out of network and cover time off work, travel, etc. a large sum of money (considering the out of pocket max covers out of network providers and is usually under $10k). But they are successful in raising close to their goal and keep posting updates to keep donating. It was actually touching to see people I personally know who are not particularly well-off be so generous with donating to this person.

A few months later she posts pictures of her kid on fb, and I can't help but notice the all decked out matching pottery barn furniture, bedding, and wall decor in the background of the kid's room! And then she posts photos of her family, including the kid, on vacation out of their area...for 2 weeks! She says this is the nicest vacation they have had since their honeymoon!

I'm all about travel and all...but don't you think if you are public begging for money and relying on others to give their hard earned money to cover your family's medical expenses, maybe now isn't the time to start upping your lifestyle? Just a thought...

Also, there are charities that pay for this type of thing.  American Airlines will fly kids and their families for free for medical care, Ronald McDonald House puts up families and their kids for treatment.  Make a Wish will give critically ill kids a vacation.

I have a critically ill child myself so I am familiar with this world.  We had a very long consult with social workers and ideally everyone with a really sick kid should.  S/he should hook someone up with these programs, but even if not, a simple internet search will find them.

We also have a neighbor with a sick kid who totally exploits Go Fund Me to raise money for things like fixing the grade in her yard so "he has a safe place to stay". 

I don't have a Go Fund Me, and we afford it because we have always lived below our means.  Even though I had to stop working, we still can afford everything we need (not upgrades).  Basically our saving for FIRE has gone way down.  I do occasionally sign up for freebies from charities (like a hat), and we do ask friends for meals and occasional babysitting after they have offered.  I graciously accept any gift cards given to us from friends (not requested), but have never asked for money ever. 

There are people who truly have nothing and a sick kid.  But for most people I bet it is a matter refusing to lower their standard of living at all.   Drives me crazy to see people capitalize on their cute, sick kids.

In this particular case the child's condition is chronic and inconvenient, but in no way life threatening so will not qualify for make a wish. They will also not qualify for Ronald McDonald because the husband has a very good paying, highly respected professional job so they don't qualify for financial need. They pointed out on the gofundme how the wife can't work because she has to take the kid to appointments, but even before the baby was born she didn't work (never had to, and never had plans to start working).

I am pretty sure they could cover any out of pocket medical expenses by doing what everyone else does: downsizing your life to save up and working out a payment plan with the hospital if you still can't cover it. While I'm sure it is a big financial burden having a kid with chronic medical issues, it just makes me upset to see them taking money from other people I personally know who make far less than they do and go spend it on high end "stuff".

[firelight]

Friend on FB starts a gofundme to raise money for her kid's medical treatment. They need to fly to the opposite coast to see a particular doctor who specializes in this one medical area. They already have insurance but say they need to raise $50k because the doctor is out of network and cover time off work, travel, etc. a large sum of money (considering the out of pocket max covers out of network providers and is usually under $10k). But they are successful in raising close to their goal and keep posting updates to keep donating. It was actually touching to see people I personally know who are not particularly well-off be so generous with donating to this person.

A few months later she posts pictures of her kid on fb, and I can't help but notice the all decked out matching pottery barn furniture, bedding, and wall decor in the background of the kid's room! And then she posts photos of her family, including the kid, on vacation out of their area...for 2 weeks! She says this is the nicest vacation they have had since their honeymoon!

I'm all about travel and all...but don't you think if you are public begging for money and relying on others to give their hard earned money to cover your family's medical expenses, maybe now isn't the time to start upping your lifestyle? Just a thought...

Also, there are charities that pay for this type of thing.  American Airlines will fly kids and their families for free for medical care, Ronald McDonald House puts up families and their kids for treatment.  Make a Wish will give critically ill kids a vacation.

I have a critically ill child myself so I am familiar with this world.  We had a very long consult with social workers and ideally everyone with a really sick kid should.  S/he should hook someone up with these programs, but even if not, a simple internet search will find them.

We also have a neighbor with a sick kid who totally exploits Go Fund Me to raise money for things like fixing the grade in her yard so "he has a safe place to stay". 

I don't have a Go Fund Me, and we afford it because we have always lived below our means.  Even though I had to stop working, we still can afford everything we need (not upgrades).  Basically our saving for FIRE has gone way down.  I do occasionally sign up for freebies from charities (like a hat), and we do ask friends for meals and occasional babysitting after they have offered.  I graciously accept any gift cards given to us from friends (not requested), but have never asked for money ever. 

There are people who truly have nothing and a sick kid.  But for most people I bet it is a matter refusing to lower their standard of living at all.   Drives me crazy to see people capitalize on their cute, sick kids.

In this particular case the child's condition is chronic and inconvenient, but in no way life threatening so will not qualify for make a wish. They will also not qualify for Ronald McDonald because the husband has a very good paying, highly respected professional job so they don't qualify for financial need. They pointed out on the gofundme how the wife can't work because she has to take the kid to appointments, but even before the baby was born she didn't work (never had to, and never had plans to start working).

I am pretty sure they could cover any out of pocket medical expenses by doing what everyone else does: downsizing your life to save up and working out a payment plan with the hospital if you still can't cover it. While I'm sure it is a big financial burden having a kid with chronic medical issues, it just makes me upset to see them taking money from other people I personally know who make far less than they do and go spend it on high end "stuff".

If the other people who make less than them are fine with giving to them despite knowing that the husband has a well paying job and that the wife never planned to work, then it's on  the donators. If someone got too much money just because they asked, then it's a very tiny step towards upgrading their lifestyle. Once they have the money, (in their mind) it becomes theirs and they can do whatever with it (even upgrade lifestyle), there is no one to oversee that they actually used it for the intended purpose.

[Kaydedid]

Fwiw, the Ronald McDonald house we stayed at when my son was born didn't ask about income, just asked families to pay a small amount ($5?  Can't remember), which could be waved if financial need existed.

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[Just Joe]

Hopefully the folks who donate despite making less money have thought it through as completely as you have. No shooting arrows at you, just pointing out that for some people the thought process begins and ends with "ah, that's too bad". They might not realize that they are funding a shopping blitz until (if?) they see the pictures.

[fredbear]

An old friend had to go to another city for a lengthy leukemia treatment.  He asked all of his old friends for our financial help.  (This was long before gofundme was thought of.)  He used our donations to import his wife, rent a special place, etc, etc.  Now it is decades later and something has degraded permanently in the friendship.  Not sure how to put it - like he moved from the first tier to second or third?  Somebody you'd see impulsively, frequently, happily is now someone you see once a year at a birthday party.  No overt blowup, no recriminations, nothing dramatic - just an irretrievable, slight shift.  No confidences now, just ritual enquiries after one another's kids.  He's never been back to it, which is wise: the well is dry. 

[TheGrimSqueaker]

An old friend had to go to another city for a lengthy leukemia treatment.  He asked all of his old friends for our financial help.  (This was long before gofundme was thought of.)  He used our donations to import his wife, rent a special place, etc, etc.  Now it is decades later and something has degraded permanently in the friendship.  Not sure how to put it - like he moved from the first tier to second or third?  Somebody you'd see impulsively, frequently, happily is now someone you see once a year at a birthday party.  No overt blowup, no recriminations, nothing dramatic - just an irretrievable, slight shift.  No confidences now, just ritual enquiries after one another's kids.  He's never been back to it, which is wise: the well is dry.

This is the natural course of human behavior.

Now, if for some reason you were trying to maintain a closer relationship or if you were forced into it due to family or similar dynamics, you'd be feeling all kinds of resentment. As matters stand, you get to keep your blood pressure low.

[FIT_Goat]

This is my friend who complains about how hard she has it all the time and how she doesn't deserve to be in so much student debt.

A few days ago:

Uh oh. I just spent a ton of money on my 4th of july ticket. [OTHER FRIEND], let the booze stock piling begin! I got it for june 30th-july 9th. I like how i made the purchase without asking the boss first.....

We all know that booking non-refundable travel without getting time off, in advance, is a wise thing to do when struggling with money and worried about your job being unstable.

Yesterday:

Sometimes you need to go out and spend a thousand bucks on new clothes.....in one day. So I just successfully did that! The worst part is that i wear the same 5 things to work every week cause I have no clothes. So my mission was to get work stuff. Well, a grand later and none of it is work appropriate, so I did fail at that.

That also means i will not be paying extra money to federal loans any time soon. I should let myself get terrible credit and go spend another grand on stuff for me. I never buy myself new things on account of student freakin loans. Perhaps it's high time I stop trying and start buying myself new items all the time. It is time for me to be irresponsible like everyone else and blow through money until i'm bankrupt. Yeaaa, vacations, rich peoples amount of clothes and shoes, concerts every weekend, sushi for dinner every night, new car, new everything!

Almost exactly one day later.

Just washed all the new clothes....and I know how to wash clothes....and they all said machine wash cold....sooooo, yeaaaa all of the clothes ended up reshaping themselves to look twisted and asymmetrical, along with shrinking. Every single shirt is now crooked with half of the side shrunk up. So I get to put 700 bucks worth of clothes in the garbage.

I have started checking her wall, daily, to see what new rant she has posted.

Edit:  Most of my friends are secretly mustachian.  Most of our mutual friends are also mustachian.  A few weeks ago, she posted about being stuck in traffic on the way home, for hours, due to the road being shut down and her being in an area that could not be removed.  One of our friends replied as only a wise man would, " You and your car seem to have the worst luck together. I ride my bicycle 2 miles to work. lol"

[letthelightin]

Saw this on FB today, and it made me laugh. I want to high five the OP.



OP: I've dreaded this moment for months. Once you start you can't stop. Week after week it seems like it will never end. So it's time to make the big decision...should I mow my lawn for the first time this season, or wait another week?

OP's Friend: Put the neighbor kid on a $100 retainer and tell him once a week for the ten weeks.

OP: That would deprive me of exercise and money.

[Just Joe]

This is my friend who complains about how hard she has it all the time and how she doesn't deserve to be in so much student debt.

A few days ago:

Uh oh. I just spent a ton of money on my 4th of july ticket. [OTHER FRIEND], let the booze stock piling begin! I got it for june 30th-july 9th. I like how i made the purchase without asking the boss first.....

We all know that booking non-refundable travel without getting time off, in advance, is a wise thing to do when struggling with money and worried about your job being unstable.

Yesterday:

Sometimes you need to go out and spend a thousand bucks on new clothes.....in one day. So I just successfully did that! The worst part is that i wear the same 5 things to work every week cause I have no clothes. So my mission was to get work stuff. Well, a grand later and none of it is work appropriate, so I did fail at that.

That also means i will not be paying extra money to federal loans any time soon. I should let myself get terrible credit and go spend another grand on stuff for me. I never buy myself new things on account of student freakin loans. Perhaps it's high time I stop trying and start buying myself new items all the time. It is time for me to be irresponsible like everyone else and blow through money until i'm bankrupt. Yeaaa, vacations, rich peoples amount of clothes and shoes, concerts every weekend, sushi for dinner every night, new car, new everything!

Almost exactly one day later.

Just washed all the new clothes....and I know how to wash clothes....and they all said machine wash cold....sooooo, yeaaaa all of the clothes ended up reshaping themselves to look twisted and asymmetrical, along with shrinking. Every single shirt is now crooked with half of the side shrunk up. So I get to put 700 bucks worth of clothes in the garbage.

I have started checking her wall, daily, to see what new rant she has posted.

Edit:  Most of my friends are secretly mustachian.  Most of our mutual friends are also mustachian.  A few weeks ago, she posted about being stuck in traffic on the way home, for hours, due to the road being shut down and her being in an area that could not be removed.  One of our friends replied as only a wise man would, " You and your car seem to have the worst luck together. I ride my bicycle 2 miles to work. lol"

So is this like a person silently asking for help? Seeking a buddy who will enable them further? Seeking a pal to commiserate with?

[AlanStache]

@ FIT_Goat: No need to bold that text - it shines like neon here :-)

[TheGrimSqueaker]

This is my friend who complains about how hard she has it all the time and how she doesn't deserve to be in so much student debt.

A few days ago:

Uh oh. I just spent a ton of money on my 4th of july ticket. [OTHER FRIEND], let the booze stock piling begin! I got it for june 30th-july 9th. I like how i made the purchase without asking the boss first.....

We all know that booking non-refundable travel without getting time off, in advance, is a wise thing to do when struggling with money and worried about your job being unstable.

Yesterday:

Sometimes you need to go out and spend a thousand bucks on new clothes.....in one day. So I just successfully did that! The worst part is that i wear the same 5 things to work every week cause I have no clothes. So my mission was to get work stuff. Well, a grand later and none of it is work appropriate, so I did fail at that.

That also means i will not be paying extra money to federal loans any time soon. I should let myself get terrible credit and go spend another grand on stuff for me. I never buy myself new things on account of student freakin loans. Perhaps it's high time I stop trying and start buying myself new items all the time. It is time for me to be irresponsible like everyone else and blow through money until i'm bankrupt. Yeaaa, vacations, rich peoples amount of clothes and shoes, concerts every weekend, sushi for dinner every night, new car, new everything!

Almost exactly one day later.

Just washed all the new clothes....and I know how to wash clothes....and they all said machine wash cold....sooooo, yeaaaa all of the clothes ended up reshaping themselves to look twisted and asymmetrical, along with shrinking. Every single shirt is now crooked with half of the side shrunk up. So I get to put 700 bucks worth of clothes in the garbage.

I have started checking her wall, daily, to see what new rant she has posted.

Edit:  Most of my friends are secretly mustachian.  Most of our mutual friends are also mustachian.  A few weeks ago, she posted about being stuck in traffic on the way home, for hours, due to the road being shut down and her being in an area that could not be removed.  One of our friends replied as only a wise man would, " You and your car seem to have the worst luck together. I ride my bicycle 2 miles to work. lol"

So is this like a person silently asking for help? Seeking a buddy who will enable them further? Seeking a pal to commiserate with?

No, yes, and yes. Respectively. They're not asking for help in the context of changing their ways, and they're most assuredly not being silent about it. They want affirmation from people who would normalize this somewhat self-destructive behavior. It's kind of like a person in the earliest stages of anorexia seeking out pro-ana Web sites, or a person with a minor drinking problem finding a committed alkie to hang out with.

[marielle]

No, yes, and yes. Respectively. They're not asking for help in the context of changing their ways, and they're most assuredly not being silent about it. They want affirmation from people who would normalize this somewhat self-destructive behavior. It's kind of like a person in the earliest stages of anorexia seeking out pro-ana Web sites, or a person with a minor drinking problem finding a committed alkie to hang out with.

I really don't understand this behavior, because I personally would be incredibly embarrassed to post anything like this. I guess I wouldn't be broke and unable to pay student loans if I spent $1000 on clothes though. It's strange how posting about how broke you are is okay, but it's socially unacceptable to brag about buying $1000 worth of clothes when you're doing well. Similarly, if I posted that I just made a $1000 student loan payment people either wouldn't care or be disgusted. I guess because it's okay to make fun of yourself but not show off.

[TheGrimSqueaker]

In the social media world, the primary currency is attention as expressed by "likes", shares, reactions, followers, clicks, and other things that measure attention.

Bragging about our financial independence or net worth in the same medium is considered gauche because it reflects our adherence to an unfashionable and outdated value system in which the primary currency is... currency.

[FIT_Goat]

She just wanted attention and sympathy.  Wants everyone to see how hard she has it.  I cut out most of the "woe is me" and "my new coworker says he is glad his life isn't like mine" crap.  As if the second one even happened!

[infogoon]

In the social media world, the primary currency is attention as expressed by "likes", shares, reactions, followers, clicks, and other things that measure attention.

Bragging about our financial independence or net worth in the same medium is considered gauche because it reflects our adherence to an unfashionable and outdated value system in which the primary currency is... currency.

It's so strange that every other conversation taboo has gone by the wayside -- people openly discuss politics, religion, sex, whatever -- but it's still considered out-of-bounds to discuss money.

[jinga nation]

In the social media world, the primary currency is attention as expressed by "likes", shares, reactions, followers, clicks, and other things that measure attention.

Bragging about our financial independence or net worth in the same medium is considered gauche because it reflects our adherence to an unfashionable and outdated value system in which the primary currency is... currency.

It's so strange that every other conversation taboo has gone by the wayside -- people openly discuss politics, religion, sex, whatever -- but it's still considered out-of-bounds to discuss money.

And science. I work in IT/Engineering at a DoD site and the sheer ignorance/refusal of scientific facts is astounding.