Author Topic: Overheard on Facebook  (Read 2099126 times)

BTDretire

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6550 on: June 21, 2017, 10:52:34 AM »
  Before we updated our furnace, air conditioner and thermostat, I had little battery operated circuit with a push switch. When I pushed the switch, it energized a relay that turned on the air conditioned for a set time. The air would run about two minutes then shut off.. So if I was hot I could push the switch and the air would run for a short time without a reset of the thermostat setting.
 In the winter I just moved a clip to a different position and it turned on the furnace for the set time.
 The new thermostat was more complicated and I never took the time to figure out how to use the circuit on it. Also the new air does a better job with humidity so I don't feel the need to give it a poke like I did.

kelvin

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6551 on: June 21, 2017, 12:07:16 PM »
This might be a stupid question (have never had AC) but would a dehumidifier help in that regard? We had a flood once, and used one to dry out carpets. As I say it may be a stupid question - perhaps they are as expensive to run as AC, or perhaps the mechanism for drying the air is actually exactly the same thing so they are interchangeable.

I ran a dehumidifier for a while. It made big difference, I could reduce the humidity to 40%, when I did that I could and did raise the temperature 4* to 5*F and I would still feel comfortable. If I didn't raise the temperature it was to cold.
 It is true that the area where I put the dehumidifier got hot, it was fitting against the air conditioner. I don't know where the saving would have been, running the air conditioner more or running the air less and the dehumidifier more.
 We ended up wih a new air conditioner and furnace, the new air conditioner does a much better job reducing humidity, sometimes 78*F feels to cool, especially on hot days when the air runs more.
 We also got a recall on our dehumidifier, the model had started some fires, so they paid us to cut of the cord and send it to them.

I'm seconding this. I'll happily live with a dehumidifier instead of an AC, and I spend most of the summer with the AC unit set to "dehumidify". It helps that my landlord pays for electricity.

slugline

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6552 on: June 21, 2017, 12:31:35 PM »
A friend posted today "according to the calculator, I can retire 5 years after I die"

I think I'll send him a link to MMM

I am sitting here stupidly trying to figure out how that is possible :D

A few years ago there was this bit making the rounds on social media about how Fidelity had noticed that the investors that did the best were the buy-and-hold types that didn't trade very often. The accounts that did the best of all belonged to deceased clients. Maybe JAYSLOL's friend is acknowledging that his accounts will only grow towards his goal when he is 100% forced to be a passive investor!

Eludia

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6553 on: June 22, 2017, 12:25:12 AM »
The latest from trainwreck friend on FB that I've mentioned earlier:  A series of posts begging to borrow someones car for 3 weeks, for free of course (not sure what happened to hers, I am assuming it got repo'd), when no takers to that "Can I at LEAST get a free ride to court in county X, I need to be there tomorrow for an eviction hearing" aaaand then, does anyone have a room that can take us in for super super cheap.  Us is her, guy she cheated on hubby with, and EIGHT animals.

Oof.  That is something that scares me about having a kid.  I already have a dog and a husband, and it was much easier to imagine friends who could put me up for a week on their couch when it was just me.  Now that we're a much bigger package, it would be more difficult. 

How do you even keep track of eight animals?  Are they all goldfish???

I put up my friend and her 11 year old son in my one bedroom house for two weeks under exceptional circumstances (quake destroyed the city, including her house). It was a strain on everyone, especially as I was babysitting him most days because she was out trying to sort out more permanent accommodation. Later I found out she'd be bitching me out because I didn't give up my bed for them. No good deed goes unpunished, huh?

I guess she's not as good a friend as you thought. Sorry. :(

Yikes, I've helped out a ton of people only to have them snipe at me for such help. Like they've gone out of their way to praise me before, during, and after my help and then later I've heard that they've complained about it. That said, I believe that if they called me again in the same situation to ask for my help I likely would still be willing to help them.

You're a nicer person than me. I just can't be bothered with folk like that. Anyway, if you ever really need to sort the wheat from the chaff, friend-wise, have an earthquake! There were a few people that I considered good friends who showed their true nature during that period.

For real.  I've done well in life in general, better than anyone else in my or my wife's family or for that matter most of our circle of friends.  So naturally every time there is a problem people call us for help.  Worse than that, my wife used to call _them_ and offer to just fix things.  She is way too nice.  But after we've been burned just over and over and over, not so much anymore. 

We've loaned money probably 10 times, been paid back exactly only once over the course of years.  We've given people jobs, then have them demand more money, or a crazy schedule or that they need us to buy them a car so they can get to work.  (Yes really.)  We've put people up in our house, only to long overstay and bitch when we ask them to leave.  We've bought family members a car and a house.  (Yes really.)  We've paid for family vacations to Hawaii.  (Multiple times.)  We've paid for DisneyWorld vacations (multiple times).  None of these things ever worked out well for us.  Sure, in the moment its great for the giftee, then later comes resentment and expectation that we'll do this for them forever. 

Almost universally people are resentful at us because we're doing so well.  Then because we're doing so well, they feel like they don't ever need to thank us or repay us when we loan them money.  Then when we finally stop supporting them, they trash us to our other friends or family.  This has happened time and time again over almost 20 years.   

I've long been over helping anyone out anymore.  My wife is finally on board after years of us getting used and screwed over. 

Now I donate to ASPCA and the Humane Society. 

We're in our 40's, and so are most of our friends and siblings.  If you haven't got your shit together at this point I'm not fixing your shit for you.  If you can't get a loan at a bank why the hell should I become your bank? 

I've worked _incredibly_ hard to get where I am.  I was effectively retired at 27.  I had savings and built a company I ran 0 to 30 minutes a day that more than sustained us.  That was 14 years ago.  I lost everything 12 years ago because I bought family members a house and other family members a car and paid for all sorts of things for them and then the bottom fell out and we went broke.   I've had to go bankrupt and rebuild from 0.  Since then I've basically worked at least 2 gigs at once, 60+ hours a week the entire time to build up our savings again to make sure we NEVER go broke again.  I've succeeded and we're well on our way to FIRE in 4-5 years now. 

So long winded post, but my point is, be careful before you jump in to help friends or family.  It almost never goes well, there will be resentment at the very least on one side if not both.    A good friend of mine told me once "Not everyone will be happy for you."  It is so true. 



« Last Edit: June 22, 2017, 12:26:48 AM by Eludia »

farfromfire

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6554 on: June 22, 2017, 07:10:40 AM »
Yikes, I've helped out a ton of people only to have them snipe at me for such help. Like they've gone out of their way to praise me before, during, and after my help and then later I've heard that they've complained about it. That said, I believe that if they called me again in the same situation to ask for my help I likely would still be willing to help them.

You're a nicer person than me. I just can't be bothered with folk like that. Anyway, if you ever really need to sort the wheat from the chaff, friend-wise, have an earthquake! There were a few people that I considered good friends who showed their true nature during that period.
...
We've loaned money probably 10 times, been paid back exactly only once over the course of years.  We've given people jobs, then have them demand more money, or a crazy schedule or that they need us to buy them a car so they can get to work.  (Yes really.)  We've put people up in our house, only to long overstay and bitch when we ask them to leave.  We've bought family members a car and a house.  (Yes really.)  We've paid for family vacations to Hawaii.  (Multiple times.)  We've paid for DisneyWorld vacations (multiple times).  None of these things ever worked out well for us.  Sure, in the moment its great for the giftee, then later comes resentment and expectation that we'll do this for them forever. 
...

Reminds me of the somewhat counter-intuitive Ben Franklin Effect:
Quote from: Benjamin Franklin
He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.

Inaya

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6555 on: June 22, 2017, 08:40:04 AM »
For real.  I've done well in life in general, better than anyone else in my or my wife's family or for that matter most of our circle of friends.  So naturally every time there is a problem people call us for help.  Worse than that, my wife used to call _them_ and offer to just fix things.  She is way too nice.  But after we've been burned just over and over and over, not so much anymore. 

The emphasized bit was me until very recently. Now I will only help out if I am asked. No more offering to help of my own volition (especially in response to passive-aggressive woe-is-me Facebook posts). I can't completely turn off my impulse to help those I care about, but I will make them come to me and actually ask before I fling my money at their problems. Maybe then they'll appreciate it and actually bother to say thanks. (Probably not, but I can only handle one life lesson at a time here!) I've never expected to be paid back, but I draw the line at expecting me to pull out my credit card at meals without so much as a 'thank you.' 

I'm thankful I've managed to learn this lesson before it cost me more than a couple hundred dollars.
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MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6556 on: June 22, 2017, 09:23:16 AM »
Yikes, I've helped out a ton of people only to have them snipe at me for such help. Like they've gone out of their way to praise me before, during, and after my help and then later I've heard that they've complained about it. That said, I believe that if they called me again in the same situation to ask for my help I likely would still be willing to help them.

You're a nicer person than me. I just can't be bothered with folk like that. Anyway, if you ever really need to sort the wheat from the chaff, friend-wise, have an earthquake! There were a few people that I considered good friends who showed their true nature during that period.
...
We've loaned money probably 10 times, been paid back exactly only once over the course of years.  We've given people jobs, then have them demand more money, or a crazy schedule or that they need us to buy them a car so they can get to work.  (Yes really.)  We've put people up in our house, only to long overstay and bitch when we ask them to leave.  We've bought family members a car and a house.  (Yes really.)  We've paid for family vacations to Hawaii.  (Multiple times.)  We've paid for DisneyWorld vacations (multiple times).  None of these things ever worked out well for us.  Sure, in the moment its great for the giftee, then later comes resentment and expectation that we'll do this for them forever. 
...

Yeah that's a good point. I should clarify that to date I haven't significantly helped someone. I haven't given anyone anything more than a few hundred dollars or had anyone stay more than a few days. My kindness has limitations as I've seen from my dad what can happen when you are too kind. I may hate myself for a day when I refuse to help someone, but I would rather suffer for a day than suffer like my dad has.

BayAreaFrugal

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6557 on: June 22, 2017, 09:38:23 AM »
Loosely paraphrased from a friend on facebook:

"I wasn't going to take a vacation this year because I'm broke, but I just found out that my company has really good discounts on cruises - $1100-1200 for a 7 day Alaskan cruise departing from Seattle, and then I'd just need a plane ticket to and from Seattle. Are there other costs or hidden fees with cruises I'm not factoring in though?"

60+ responses later and not one person has told her that $1100-1200 plus the cost of airfare is a ridiculously expensive vacation for someone who just deemed herself broke.

cheapass

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6558 on: June 22, 2017, 09:44:56 AM »
Loosely paraphrased from a friend on facebook:

"I wasn't going to take a vacation this year because I'm broke, but I just found out that my company has really good discounts on cruises - $1100-1200 for a 7 day Alaskan cruise departing from Seattle, and then I'd just need a plane ticket to and from Seattle. Are there other costs or hidden fees with cruises I'm not factoring in though?"

60+ responses later and not one person has told her that $1100-1200 plus the cost of airfare is a ridiculously expensive vacation for someone who just deemed herself broke.

Buying an elephant for a dime is a good deal ONLY if

a) you need an elephant AND
b) you have a dime
Every single decision you make with money either shortens or lengthens your working career.

ariapluscat

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6559 on: June 22, 2017, 10:24:44 AM »
A former co-worker told me about a year ago that he was saving for a house downpayment in our crazy Portland market. I was glad for him (he makes good money and has a pretty low rent currently) and so we talked about having to stop shopping and buying tech stuff (we're both nerds but he really worships at the altar of Apple).

Since then his instagram has been a constant stream of cutesy nerd stuff, Apple product of the week (watches, new phone, cases), dinners out, upgrades to his aquarium, etc etc etc. I finally asked after he posted a pic of his new Apple AirPods (MSRP $159) if he was still planning to buy a house. He got mad and said this one purchase wasn't going to stand between him and buying a house.

I really need to learn to shut my mouth!
He got mad, because he knows you are right!

Well, on the surface, he's right... ONE purchase isn't the problem. He's mad because it's more like one every few days, and yeah, that WILL come between him and a house and he doesn't want to be reminded of it.

Sad thing is, once he finally realizes it, meals will have been eaten and depreciating apple products bought and there won't be much to show for it.

if he doesn't collect the boxes and packages, you could suggest selling them! apparently, there's a real market for them. i sold the box for my iphone really quickly on ebay. it doesn't justify the purchase, but if he's going to buy anyway...

rockstache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6560 on: June 22, 2017, 10:52:34 AM »

if he doesn't collect the boxes and packages, you could suggest selling them! apparently, there's a real market for them. i sold the box for my iphone really quickly on ebay.

what? WHAT? For EMPTY boxes?

And people COLLECT them?

There are a lot of absurd things in this thread, but man...that one really gets to me. Excuse me, I need to go list something on ebay (don't worry, I didn't buy it, it's from my work phone).


marielle

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6561 on: June 22, 2017, 11:46:16 AM »

if he doesn't collect the boxes and packages, you could suggest selling them! apparently, there's a real market for them. i sold the box for my iphone really quickly on ebay.

what? WHAT? For EMPTY boxes?

And people COLLECT them?

There are a lot of absurd things in this thread, but man...that one really gets to me. Excuse me, I need to go list something on ebay (don't worry, I didn't buy it, it's from my work phone).

I think it's because when you have the box you can sell the iPhone or whatever gadget for more. So if the box is $5 but you get an extra $15 it's worth it. Maybe there's another reason but I doubt it...

Lauran75

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6562 on: June 22, 2017, 01:36:27 PM »

if he doesn't collect the boxes and packages, you could suggest selling them! apparently, there's a real market for them. i sold the box for my iphone really quickly on ebay.

what? WHAT? For EMPTY boxes?

And people COLLECT them?

There are a lot of absurd things in this thread, but man...that one really gets to me. Excuse me, I need to go list something on ebay (don't worry, I didn't buy it, it's from my work phone).

I think it's because when you have the box you can sell the iPhone or whatever gadget for more. So if the box is $5 but you get an extra $15 it's worth it. Maybe there's another reason but I doubt it...

Hmm... I may have one or two empty iPhone boxes. I would have never thought of selling them!

AnnaGrowsAMustache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6563 on: June 22, 2017, 04:34:15 PM »

if he doesn't collect the boxes and packages, you could suggest selling them! apparently, there's a real market for them. i sold the box for my iphone really quickly on ebay.

what? WHAT? For EMPTY boxes?

And people COLLECT them?

There are a lot of absurd things in this thread, but man...that one really gets to me. Excuse me, I need to go list something on ebay (don't worry, I didn't buy it, it's from my work phone).

I think it's because when you have the box you can sell the iPhone or whatever gadget for more. So if the box is $5 but you get an extra $15 it's worth it. Maybe there's another reason but I doubt it...

Maybe people sell the fakes in the real boxes.

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6564 on: June 22, 2017, 06:17:18 PM »
When I was helping my in-laws downsize last year I discovered one of their linen cupboards was full of every box for every phone and every laptop and every tablet every member of the family had owned for more than 10 years.

This included the period where FiL went through four in a year (dropped one in the pool, had another come out of a shirt pocket while riding his motorbike, etc).

Shocking waste of space and money.

ducky19

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6565 on: June 23, 2017, 06:33:37 AM »

if he doesn't collect the boxes and packages, you could suggest selling them! apparently, there's a real market for them. i sold the box for my iphone really quickly on ebay.

what? WHAT? For EMPTY boxes?

And people COLLECT them?

There are a lot of absurd things in this thread, but man...that one really gets to me. Excuse me, I need to go list something on ebay (don't worry, I didn't buy it, it's from my work phone).

I think it's because when you have the box you can sell the iPhone or whatever gadget for more. So if the box is $5 but you get an extra $15 it's worth it. Maybe there's another reason but I doubt it...

Maybe people sell the fakes in the real boxes.

I went to eBay once to buy a new lighter, buy they only had 12,479 matches...

Joggernot

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6566 on: June 23, 2017, 06:58:38 AM »
We save all the boxes for our UPSs (uninterruptable power supplies) because to get them replaced after damage from a lightning strike, you have to send them back in the "original box".  We've used two boxes so far to return damaged units for replacement.

AlanStache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6567 on: June 23, 2017, 09:15:41 AM »
...

Buying an elephant for a dime is a good deal ONLY if

a) you need an elephant AND
b) you have a dime

Maybe I have been watching to may Netflix documentarys about subsistence hunters in Alaska but my first thought was that you could feed a family for a year on that much meat.
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cheapass

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6568 on: June 23, 2017, 09:24:17 AM »
Maybe I have been watching to may Netflix documentarys about subsistence hunters in Alaska but my first thought was that you could feed a family for a year on that much meat.

Life below zero? The wife and I enjoy watching that show and fantasize about living that way post-FI/RE. Certainly not in Alaska but in the mountains, pretty remote.
Every single decision you make with money either shortens or lengthens your working career.

jinga nation

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6569 on: June 23, 2017, 12:34:36 PM »

if he doesn't collect the boxes and packages, you could suggest selling them! apparently, there's a real market for them. i sold the box for my iphone really quickly on ebay.

what? WHAT? For EMPTY boxes?

And people COLLECT them?

There are a lot of absurd things in this thread, but man...that one really gets to me. Excuse me, I need to go list something on ebay (don't worry, I didn't buy it, it's from my work phone).

I think it's because when you have the box you can sell the iPhone or whatever gadget for more. So if the box is $5 but you get an extra $15 it's worth it. Maybe there's another reason but I doubt it...

Maybe people sell the fakes in the real boxes.

3rd party Apple product refurbishers buy these. A lot of these are sold overseas in developing nations where there's no official Apple sales and support.

Even used iPhone/iPad buyers want the unboxing "feel".

Some refurbishers spray the inside of the sealing bags with the "new product scent".

I learnt all this on my travels last year going home to East Africa and browsing the local malls.
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LeRainDrop

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6570 on: June 25, 2017, 10:18:00 PM »
Here is a POSITIVE one.  George Takei's page linked to an article about early retirement.  Most of the commenters gave the usual sob stories about how saving is impossible.  But riding in on a unicorn were a couple commenters who linked to MMM!  (I wonder if they'll see this post...)

dandarc

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6571 on: June 26, 2017, 10:04:26 AM »
Here is a POSITIVE one.  George Takei's page linked to an article about early retirement.  Most of the commenters gave the usual sob stories about how saving is impossible.  But riding in on a unicorn were a couple commenters who linked to MMM!  (I wonder if they'll see this post...)
Whenever I read mainstream comments on financial stuff, I'm always amazed at how so many people are handling their money perfectly efficiently.  Cannot find another dime to save on expenses.  Or another minute to work or get some education to earn more.  I must be doing something very wrong, because there is so much more I could be doing better, I'm paralyzed by choices of where to optimize.
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wauske

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6572 on: June 27, 2017, 04:30:17 AM »

Lol, it was 35 degrees C out here last week and I still have my winter blanket without an AC :D
We also stayed at my BIL in China (equator region) with 30+ degrees C and 70%+ humidity. We set the Aircon to 25C for 20 minutes when we went to bed, I was asleep when it switched off and never woke up because I was hot :)

Here is a POSITIVE one.  George Takei's page linked to an article about early retirement.  Most of the commenters gave the usual sob stories about how saving is impossible.  But riding in on a unicorn were a couple commenters who linked to MMM!  (I wonder if they'll see this post...)
I think George Takei has some really good advice on lots of things :)
Everything I say is my personal opinion which is based on my subjective experience.

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6573 on: June 27, 2017, 04:53:48 PM »
BiL just told me a friend of ours, "Rob", has unfollowed my husband on Facebook because he "can't handle it anymore".

Husband has quite a nice job, but rarely posts about it because he doesn't want to seem like a wanker.

I find it odd that Rob felt the need to share this with the one person he knew would repeat it to my husband, but he is a grown man who can unfollow anyone he likes, and I do understand the need for self-preservation.

Warlord1986

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6574 on: June 28, 2017, 07:36:47 AM »
It might not be your husband's job that he couldn't handle. Politics, etc. could also have been a factor.

cheapass

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6575 on: June 28, 2017, 08:04:05 AM »
It might not be your husband's job that he couldn't handle. Politics, etc. could also have been a factor.

Snowflakes will be snowflakes. I've observed that snowflakes on both sides of the spectrum melt at the same temperature :).
Every single decision you make with money either shortens or lengthens your working career.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6576 on: June 28, 2017, 12:13:41 PM »
It might not be your husband's job that he couldn't handle. Politics, etc. could also have been a factor.

Snowflakes will be snowflakes. I've observed that snowflakes on both sides of the spectrum melt at the same temperature :).

Could be that as well. I know I have unfollowed countless "friends" for various reasons. A few because they are unhinged politically (some too far to the left, the other too far to the right), I've unfollowed a friend because she would constantly post TMI details about her baby. My point is that absent more information we have no way of knowing why anyone unfollows anyone.

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6577 on: June 28, 2017, 03:14:54 PM »
It might not be your husband's job that he couldn't handle. Politics, etc. could also have been a factor.

Snowflakes will be snowflakes. I've observed that snowflakes on both sides of the spectrum melt at the same temperature :).

Could be that as well. I know I have unfollowed countless "friends" for various reasons. A few because they are unhinged politically (some too far to the left, the other too far to the right), I've unfollowed a friend because she would constantly post TMI details about her baby. My point is that absent more information we have no way of knowing why anyone unfollows anyone.

He actually said it was because of my husband's job. Sorry if that was unclear.

I talked to Marty about it last night.

It's absurd to me, because Rob splashes everything on Facebook - the McMansion, shopping, private school, brunches, shows, etc. Our Facebook pages have none of that because our life doesn't have that.

But, he's a big boy. His call.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6578 on: June 29, 2017, 04:30:20 AM »
No shaming or laughing, just a little smile.

Facebook tipped me off a few days ago that someone I've known for a long time, and who has always had a much higher standard of living than mine and given the faint impression of looking down on me (they're honest and generous and were around for me in some rough times, and I can't begrudge them a feeling of being superior, though it did at one point become so tiresome that I drifted out their orbit), had a birthday. I went to post a happy birthday message, and their age and occupation were stated.

"I may have one shabby little house, and one second-hand car, and no boats or horses, and a palate on which fine dining is wasted, and clothes that I've had since we first met almost 30 years ago, but by the time I'm your age I'll be able to fund my current level of expenditure without going to work and I'll have been retired for a year," I thought.

What I wrote, of course, was, "Happy birthday."



AlanStache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6579 on: June 29, 2017, 06:52:16 AM »
Can someone explain the 'happy birthday' thing on FB to me?  It seems so entirely 100% fake and forced.  If you really want to send me an email or a card great but to just point and click a few emoji after being prompted by some software is dumb ...
Be the person Mr. Rogers knows you can be.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6580 on: June 29, 2017, 07:20:26 AM »
Can someone explain the 'happy birthday' thing on FB to me?  It seems so entirely 100% fake and forced.  If you really want to send me an email or a card great but to just point and click a few emoji after being prompted by some software is dumb ...
Users feel like they're contributing, Facebook gets more clicks, users feel loved by their friends, and zero effort is actually put forth by anyone :)

Warlord1986

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6581 on: June 29, 2017, 07:27:45 AM »
I actually like the birthday feature on FB. It's a way to reach out to someone you may not have spoken to in a while. 'Oh, so and so is turning 30? I haven't spoken to her in a while. This is the perfect time to catch up.'

Of course, then people just respond to my attempts at communication by clicking 'like'. -.-

theadvicist

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6582 on: June 29, 2017, 08:19:31 AM »
I actually use the birthday feature differently. Whenever I get a notification it's someone's birthday I think, "Is their feed adding to my life?" and decide whether or not to unfollow them. I don't actually unfriend, just hide their posts.

Top offenders are: people who repost stuff from the past. The pictures of your kids were pretty boring two years ago. They are definitely not more interesting now with a, "Look how little they were!" attached.

Vindicated

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6583 on: June 29, 2017, 08:28:05 AM »
I think the Birthday feature is kind of fun.  Gives me a warm fuzzy to see who cares enough to post something, especially when it's someone I like that I've fallen out of touch with.  Like others have mentioned, it takes little to no effort, so it's nothing to build the foundation of your self-worth upon.

I don't post on FB much, but one year I went to Japan and had posted a few pictures the few days prior to my Birthday.  Unsurprisingly, I received twice as many "Happy Birthdays" as in a typical year.  I felt so popular :-D
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rockstache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6584 on: June 29, 2017, 09:05:12 AM »
I actually use the birthday feature differently. Whenever I get a notification it's someone's birthday I think, "Is their feed adding to my life?" and decide whether or not to unfollow them. I don't actually unfriend, just hide their posts.

Top offenders are: people who repost stuff from the past. The pictures of your kids were pretty boring two years ago. They are definitely not more interesting now with a, "Look how little they were!" attached.

This is exactly what I do! I also use it as a reminder to check my settings/categories for that person to ensure that I don't have them seeing things I would rather they didn't. Mostly, I just don't post anything though, so it's probably a silly paranoia. 

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6585 on: June 29, 2017, 10:47:14 AM »
I actually use the birthday feature differently. Whenever I get a notification it's someone's birthday I think, "Is their feed adding to my life?" and decide whether or not to unfollow them. I don't actually unfriend, just hide their posts.

Top offenders are: people who repost stuff from the past. The pictures of your kids were pretty boring two years ago. They are definitely not more interesting now with a, "Look how little they were!" attached.

This is exactly what I do! I also use it as a reminder to check my settings/categories for that person to ensure that I don't have them seeing things I would rather they didn't. Mostly, I just don't post anything though, so it's probably a silly paranoia.

I like the Birthday reminder as I'm terrible at remembering birthday's as it is and use it as a way to connect with them. Most people I'll just post on their wall, but for people that I'm closer to I'll call or text a message.

TartanTallulah

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6586 on: June 29, 2017, 01:03:37 PM »
I actually like the birthday feature on FB. It's a way to reach out to someone you may not have spoken to in a while. 'Oh, so and so is turning 30? I haven't spoken to her in a while. This is the perfect time to catch up.'

Of course, then people just respond to my attempts at communication by clicking 'like'. -.-

I only hope that the people on my Facebook friends list don't keep a tally of who I bother posting "happy birthday" to and who I don't, because there's nothing at all personal about it, it just depends whether I've got the time and inclination for adding a drop of cyberwarmth to someone's life that day.

I'm a bit hit and miss about birthdays in real life too.



cavewoman

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6587 on: July 01, 2017, 08:30:35 AM »
Please forgive me for not searching to see if there is an "anti-anti-mustachian facebook" thread, because this would probably be a better fit there...

I have a long-time friend (since kindergarten) who has a brother about 4 years younger than us.  It naturally follows that I saw this kid grow up.  He was always super smart, but quite strange as a kid (or maybe being the older sister's friend colored my view on that).  Anyway, as he got out of high school and went to college, he really grew into himself, pursued engineering, and got a good friend circle that was like minded.  He was recruited right out of college and started making good money.

I knew from my friend that he was quite frugal, to the point of offering to pay off his sister's student loans (she had a shitty situation where her dad took out loans in her name and didn't tell her until she graduated).  For a few years, I kept thinking "I should really tell T about MMM, I think he could retire in less than 10 years without really changing anything, except maybe where he keeps his money."  But I didn't, because it felt awkward.  (I definitely feel like an older aunt posting on his page like "you look so handsome, and I'm so proud of you" lol.)

So I asked my friend about it offhandedly, and she said DO IT and T thinks of me as another older sister and of course he wouldn't be offended.  So I sent him a private message with a link to the Simple Math of Early Retirement.  He messaged me back saying that it is the second time this week that someone suggested he read the site!!  And that he trusted my judgement and would definitely check it out.  It was just funny how, after hemming and hawing about sending it, the week I decide to do it coincided with a like minded individual doing the same :)  So, whoever you are, other MMMer who knows T, thanks :)

I don't have anything more related to the thread, I've unfollowed so many people that most of my feed is group posts from YNAB and Mustachians on Facebook and Instant Pot recipes :)

solon

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6588 on: July 14, 2017, 01:58:22 PM »
"And so ends another week without me becoming unexpectedly rich."

 - actual meme seen on Facebook

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6589 on: July 14, 2017, 02:01:27 PM »
"And so ends another week without me becoming unexpectedly rich."

 - actual meme seen on Facebook
Wow.  I'd counter with "and so ends another week of becoming incrementally richer because I actually save my money"

solon

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6590 on: July 14, 2017, 02:03:14 PM »
"And so ends another week without me becoming unexpectedly rich."

 - actual meme seen on Facebook
Wow.  I'd counter with "and so ends another week of becoming incrementally richer because I actually save my money"

Yeah, I'm thinking about it. The trouble is, people on facebook know me, and I don't want to be an asshole.

dycker1978

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6591 on: July 14, 2017, 03:55:12 PM »
I just saw on my cousins Face book, her congratulating her 18 year old daughter for the purchase of her 2017 Hyundai elantra.  This kids just graduated, 2 weeks ago... may as well start them young I guess.

cheapass

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6592 on: July 14, 2017, 04:13:37 PM »
I just saw on my cousins Face book, her congratulating her 18 year old daughter for the purchase of her 2017 Hyundai elantra.  This kids just graduated, 2 weeks ago... may as well start them young I guess.

"Congratulations on not having horrible credit! Congratulations on the lost wealth-building opportunity you'll be paying in depreciation!"
Every single decision you make with money either shortens or lengthens your working career.

fruitfly

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6593 on: July 14, 2017, 06:04:27 PM »
I only hope that the people on my Facebook friends list don't keep a tally of who I bother posting "happy birthday" to and who I don't, because there's nothing at all personal about it, it just depends whether I've got the time and inclination for adding a drop of cyberwarmth to someone's life that day.

A software developer showed me webpage to do exactly this a couple of years ago (see who hadn't wished you a happy bday on fb). Seemed incredibly petty.

Ann

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6594 on: July 14, 2017, 06:16:30 PM »
I only hope that the people on my Facebook friends list don't keep a tally of who I bother posting "happy birthday" to and who I don't, because there's nothing at all personal about it, it just depends whether I've got the time and inclination for adding a drop of cyberwarmth to someone's life that day.

A software developer showed me webpage to do exactly this a couple of years ago (see who hadn't wished you a happy bday on fb). Seemed incredibly petty.
And the do WHAT with that information?  Carefully make a list and purposefully NOT wish them a happy birthday on THEIR birthdays?  A lot of work for something they probably wouldn't notice.  Unfriend them?  Well, that sounds like that might just be better for both of them.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6595 on: July 14, 2017, 07:03:17 PM »
I only hope that the people on my Facebook friends list don't keep a tally of who I bother posting "happy birthday" to and who I don't, because there's nothing at all personal about it, it just depends whether I've got the time and inclination for adding a drop of cyberwarmth to someone's life that day.

A software developer showed me webpage to do exactly this a couple of years ago (see who hadn't wished you a happy bday on fb). Seemed incredibly petty.
And the do WHAT with that information?  Carefully make a list and purposefully NOT wish them a happy birthday on THEIR birthdays?  A lot of work for something they probably wouldn't notice.  Unfriend them?  Well, that sounds like that might just be better for both of them.

I bet this guy also runs a program to notify him when he is unfriended (there's no notification, but you can check your friend list each day and compare it to the day before)

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6596 on: July 15, 2017, 07:32:52 AM »
I only hope that the people on my Facebook friends list don't keep a tally of who I bother posting "happy birthday" to and who I don't, because there's nothing at all personal about it, it just depends whether I've got the time and inclination for adding a drop of cyberwarmth to someone's life that day.

A software developer showed me webpage to do exactly this a couple of years ago (see who hadn't wished you a happy bday on fb). Seemed incredibly petty.
And the do WHAT with that information?  Carefully make a list and purposefully NOT wish them a happy birthday on THEIR birthdays?  A lot of work for something they probably wouldn't notice.  Unfriend them?  Well, that sounds like that might just be better for both of them.

I bet this guy also runs a program to notify him when he is unfriended (there's no notification, but you can check your friend list each day and compare it to the day before)

These sites might be able to turn into a nice little side hustle for the developer. There's bound to be plenty of people that obsess enough about Facebook to use the site.

wauske

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6597 on: July 15, 2017, 01:46:31 PM »
I only hope that the people on my Facebook friends list don't keep a tally of who I bother posting "happy birthday" to and who I don't, because there's nothing at all personal about it, it just depends whether I've got the time and inclination for adding a drop of cyberwarmth to someone's life that day.

A software developer showed me webpage to do exactly this a couple of years ago (see who hadn't wished you a happy bday on fb). Seemed incredibly petty.
And the do WHAT with that information?  Carefully make a list and purposefully NOT wish them a happy birthday on THEIR birthdays?  A lot of work for something they probably wouldn't notice.  Unfriend them?  Well, that sounds like that might just be better for both of them.

I bet this guy also runs a program to notify him when he is unfriended (there's no notification, but you can check your friend list each day and compare it to the day before)

These sites might be able to turn into a nice little side hustle for the developer. There's bound to be plenty of people that obsess enough about Facebook to use the site.
What is this Face Book you are talking about?
Seriously, I dropped whatsapp and facebook years ago because everyone kept spouting nonesense and calling me out when I didn't respond to them sepcifically. When I told them I didn't respond to anyone, ever, they got angry. When I dropped the accounts they got angry again, as in how could I keep up to date with their antics so I told them to e-mail me.

My wife is the only one with a facebook account now, only thing we do is browse a specific supportgroup and exchange pics with 1 friend who our son has playdates with :)
Everything I say is my personal opinion which is based on my subjective experience.

coolistdude

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6598 on: July 15, 2017, 04:10:08 PM »
I just saw on my cousins Face book, her congratulating her 18 year old daughter for the purchase of her 2017 Hyundai elantra.  This kids just graduated, 2 weeks ago... may as well start them young I guess.

"Congratulations on not having horrible credit! Congratulations on the lost wealth-building opportunity you'll be paying in depreciation!"

Seriously. The reasoning blows my mind sometimes. My young friend who had just gotten married had an annoying car repair ($1-2k) on an 6-8 year old Subaru. He was so annoyed about it he decided to lease a brand new car. His wife was also leasing a new car. How I found out about this is that he was bragging about his insurance being only like $200-$225 a month since someone hooked him up. A different friend was there with me when he said that and we just looked at each other. We both have 10-15 year old vehicles and have no plans to upgrade. Our insurance was around half of that.

Later, I learned from Facebook (see! I'm not hijacking!) that they are moving from renting a 2 bedroom apartment to renting a house for $2500/month. Since their rent will double, I imagine they will need to keep the current roommates (2?), and maybe get more. From my limited perspective, this is all to live in a nice area. I just shake my head. I would not want to stomach a $2500/month. This is one of the most expensive towns in the area.
The good: 27 years old, 1 car, not renting anymore.
The bad: Single income, only about $17k in retirement, and no FI date.
The ugly: 1 year ago I was doing much better but lost all possessions due to mold. It has been an emotional roller coaster.

Blog: http://bravelycontent.blogspot.com/

geekette

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6599 on: July 18, 2017, 05:06:40 PM »
Friend of a friend posted "Last night I thought I heard water running, and figured I'd check on it in the morning".

Uh, yeah.  The next morning he found that a pipe in the crawl space had been spraying water up into his insulation all night.

Unexpected running water is pretty high on my list of "things you don't wait to investigate".