Overheard on Facebook

[MgoSam]

I'm a really good friend

*evil laugh* I kinda pictured you with your pinky in your mouth like Dr. Evil.

[chouchouu]

I'm on a mums group on Facebook. Some lady was trying to figure out where to donate all the excess stationary her kids had accumulated. Someone replied that going forward she should only buy the high quality colouring pencils at 3/4 dollars EACH. Because they last longer apparently. Never mind that the lady has enough colouring pencils to supply a whole class room. I replied that I bought entire packs of good quality made in Germany pencils for under $4 a pack. I was told these aren't good quality enough and that the $4 for each pencil is well worth it. I didn't even know they made colouring pencils for kids that cost $4 each!

They're just going to be eaten, either by the pencil sharpener or by the child. Maybe the $4 ones have a lower toxin content.

I actually couldn't find these magical colouring in pencils even though I searched the store she mentioned. There were only adult pencils for watercolours and that kind of stuff. From the same brand that sells the $4 kind, funnily enough. I think some people just look for excuses to waste money.

If I find one of those adult coloring books that have expletives in it, I predict that I will totally waste money on it, and on whatever pencils are required to adequately fill in little floral designs around phrases that would make Samuel L. Jackson blush.

I am part of the way through embroidering a gorgeous floral motif around the words "go fuck yourself", because that's the kind of thing my sister would like on a pillow. (Embroidery thread is also cheaper than pencils...)

Lmao. 日本人ですか?

Assuming Google Translate is right, your answer is no. ;)

Google translate is awesome! When I was a student you'd pay between 300-500 for an electronic dictionary. I was lumped with carrying around with carrying a dictionary that filled most of my back pack and it still costed more than a hundred.

[Magilla]

Anyone ever get jealous of things they see on FB?

I need to stop checking it so often, because lately I have found myself comparing things to what other people list...which I realize is stupid because oftentimes they are only the highlight of someone's day/life. Also even if they are completely blissful and everything is perfect, I realize that I should be happy for their happiness/success, instead of using it to criticize myself.

I don't know if anyone else ever feels this way.

Personally no, but as shelivesthedream said it's a well known and fairly well studied phenomenon.  It especially affects people with lower self-esteem which is why it's somewhat more prevalent among women. 

[shelivesthedream]

Anyone ever get jealous of things they see on FB?

I need to stop checking it so often, because lately I have found myself comparing things to what other people list...which I realize is stupid because oftentimes they are only the highlight of someone's day/life. Also even if they are completely blissful and everything is perfect, I realize that I should be happy for their happiness/success, instead of using it to criticize myself.

I don't know if anyone else ever feels this way.

Personally no, but as shelivesthedream said it's a well known and fairly well studied phenomenon.  It especially affects people with lower self-esteem which is why it's somewhat more prevalent among women.

Curious - are women well known to have lower self esteem than men on average?

[Gray Matter]

Personally no, but as shelivesthedream said it's a well known and fairly well studied phenomenon.  It especially affects people with lower self-esteem which is why it's somewhat more prevalent among women.

Curious - are women well known to have lower self esteem than men on average?

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), yes, there are gender differences in self-esteem:  http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2016/01/self-esteem-gender.aspx

[shelivesthedream]

Personally no, but as shelivesthedream said it's a well known and fairly well studied phenomenon.  It especially affects people with lower self-esteem which is why it's somewhat more prevalent among women.

Curious - are women well known to have lower self esteem than men on average?

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), yes, there are gender differences in self-esteem:  http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2016/01/self-esteem-gender.aspx

Huh, interesting link, thanks. Especially the cross-cultural aspects.

[Reynold]

Curious - are women well known to have lower self esteem than men on average?

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), yes, there are gender differences in self-esteem:  http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2016/01/self-esteem-gender.aspx

Huh, interesting link, thanks. Especially the cross-cultural aspects.

This is why men have, and I'm sure will continue to win, far more Darwin awards than women.  "What could go wrong?  I'm awesome!" :) 

[zephyr911]

This is why men have, and I'm sure will continue to win, far more Darwin awards than women.  "What could go wrong?  I'm awesome!" :)

Men are also more likely to do Darwin Award shit when women are around. Proven by research.

[hernandz]

If I find one of those adult coloring books that have expletives in it, I predict that I will totally waste money on it, and on whatever pencils are required to adequately fill in little floral designs around phrases that would make Samuel L. Jackson blush.

http://www.amazon.com/Swear-word-coloring-book-Relaxation/dp/1522921354

[Larabeth]

Recently someone I know started a GoFundMe for her husband's cancer treatments.  They had to close their store and on the GoFundMe it talks about how tight money is.  She complained to me about the fact no one was donating but then I saw her around a week later in a brand new jeep.  She called it his new "toy".  Then they bought a camper for a celebration trip if he makes it through chemo.

Then she complained again to me that they were going broke because no one was helping fund her cancer treatments.  She was truly distraught and I didn't know how to bring up her recent purchases that she bragged about on Facebook.  I had originally planned on donating until I saw what she spent the last of her money putting onto credit!!

[jeromedawg]

Anyone ever get jealous of things they see on FB?

I need to stop checking it so often, because lately I have found myself comparing things to what other people list...which I realize is stupid because oftentimes they are only the highlight of someone's day/life. Also even if they are completely blissful and everything is perfect, I realize that I should be happy for their happiness/success, instead of using it to criticize myself.

I don't know if anyone else ever feels this way.

Definitely. It's easy getting jealous over all the nice restaurants people go to and the latest toy/gadget/car/etc they got and that they post pictures of. It's OK seeing that stuff once in a while, but sometimes people go overboard. It's rare that I'll see that much activity from a single person but it has happened, and when it does, I just unfollow them so their stream doesn't show. And if I never really knew them that well, I just de-friend them (it's not like they get notified, and they probably don't even notice to begin with)

[Cookie78]

Anyone ever get jealous of things they see on FB?

I need to stop checking it so often, because lately I have found myself comparing things to what other people list...which I realize is stupid because oftentimes they are only the highlight of someone's day/life. Also even if they are completely blissful and everything is perfect, I realize that I should be happy for their happiness/success, instead of using it to criticize myself.

I don't know if anyone else ever feels this way.

Definitely. It's easy getting jealous over all the nice restaurants people go to and the latest toy/gadget/car/etc they got and that they post pictures of. It's OK seeing that stuff once in a while, but sometimes people go overboard. It's rare that I'll see that much activity from a single person but it has happened, and when it does, I just unfollow them so their stream doesn't show. And if I never really knew them that well, I just de-friend them (it's not like they get notified, and they probably don't even notice to begin with)

I've never understood this phenomenon. I'm thrilled when my friends post positive things that are going on in their lives. I'm happy for them because they are my friends. I am far more likely to unfollow or defriend those who are constantly posting negative, whiny, complaining, or blatant and rude racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc things.

If I get jealous of someone else's happiness or success it's a clear indication that they are no friend of mine and they shouldn't be on my facebook (has happened a couple times).

I'd much rather be surrounded by positive events than negative, even if those things (new house, new car, new restaurant) aren't things I would choose for myself. Last year was a shit year for lots of my friends and especially for me. But I had one friend (she's more of an acquaintance) for whom everything was spectacular and falling into place. I really enjoyed her updates and excitement. it made me feel better about life, not worse about myself.

Honest question: Why be jealous if they are your friends?

[Ann]

I've never understood this phenomenon. I'm thrilled when my friends post positive things that are going on in their lives. I'm happy for them because they are my friends. I am far more likely to unfollow or defriend those who are constantly posting negative, whiny, complaining, or blatant and rude racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc things.

If I get jealous of someone else's happiness or success it's a clear indication that they are no friend of mine and they shouldn't be on my facebook (has happened a couple times).

I'd much rather be surrounded by positive events than negative, even if those things (new house, new car, new restaurant) aren't things I would choose for myself. Last year was a shit year for lots of my friends and especially for me. But I had one friend (she's more of an acquaintance) for whom everything was spectacular and falling into place. I really enjoyed her updates and excitement. it made me feel better about life, not worse about myself.

Honest question: Why be jealous if they are your friends?

I don't think it's necessarily that you don't want your friends to be enjoying these things, but that it creates temptation for you to do the same.  Or feel like you've missed out on a fun group activity or it highlights you aren't at the same place in life.

Think of it this way: Facebook can serve as the most targeted form of advertising possible.  It's people you like and respect promoting activities and purchases that have a good chance of tempting you (since your friends likely share interests with you). 

I admit that, for better or for worse, I am tempted to spend more money when my friends spend money.  My friend goes to concerts all the time.  It reminds me that "hey, that's a thing I could do" and I am actually going to a concert in April. 

[mm1970]

I've never understood this phenomenon. I'm thrilled when my friends post positive things that are going on in their lives. I'm happy for them because they are my friends. I am far more likely to unfollow or defriend those who are constantly posting negative, whiny, complaining, or blatant and rude racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc things.

If I get jealous of someone else's happiness or success it's a clear indication that they are no friend of mine and they shouldn't be on my facebook (has happened a couple times).

I'd much rather be surrounded by positive events than negative, even if those things (new house, new car, new restaurant) aren't things I would choose for myself. Last year was a shit year for lots of my friends and especially for me. But I had one friend (she's more of an acquaintance) for whom everything was spectacular and falling into place. I really enjoyed her updates and excitement. it made me feel better about life, not worse about myself.

Honest question: Why be jealous if they are your friends?

I don't think it's necessarily that you don't want your friends to be enjoying these things, but that it creates temptation for you to do the same.  Or feel like you've missed out on a fun group activity or it highlights you aren't at the same place in life.

Think of it this way: Facebook can serve as the most targeted form of advertising possible.  It's people you like and respect promoting activities and purchases that have a good chance of tempting you (since your friends likely share interests with you). 

I admit that, for better or for worse, I am tempted to spend more money when my friends spend money.  My friend goes to concerts all the time.  It reminds me that "hey, that's a thing I could do" and I am actually going to a concert in April.

Yes, and part of the "jealousy" is really just...questioning your own choices.  Which is normal.

I have friends who have more money than we do, and they travel and have huge houses, etc.  They don't make me question my own choices.

But I have friends who make the same amount of money, approximately.  They make me question  my own choices, when they eat out/ go to concerts/ vacation...

Except for two years ago when we paid to have our roof replaced.  And last year when he had some plumbing redone.  And right this very minute, waiting for the plumber to come (when he was just here 6 days ago snaking out the line).  I'm pretty sure we are looking at a few thousand to have even more plumbing replaced (the line from the house to the street is original, as in 1940s, and there are enough tree roots and such...).

Times like these remind me of why I'm frugal.  Because I can pay a plumber what it's going to cost to replace 40 feet of sewage lines, that run right along side gas lines.

[zephyr911]

I can have anything I want. Seeing friends spend every dollar they make and guarantee themselves a long life of wage slavery does not in any way encourage me to want more things.

I'm gonna have everything I want in life, and I'll decide when to let myself have it. ;)

[MgoSam]

I can have anything I want. Seeing friends spend every dollar they make and guarantee themselves a long life of wage slavery does not in any way encourage me to want more things.

I'm gonna have everything I want in life, and I'll decide when to let myself have it. ;)

+1.

Jealous wasn't the right word to use, but I can't help but feel somewhat envious at things I see. I have to remind myself that while someone is going to a game that I want to go to, in 10 years I'll be able to sit on a beach in Thailand. I was talking about my plans on Saturday with a group of friends and a few people were absolutely shocked that I'm thinking about this. One of the guys is 40, and of everyone there, he was the one nodding along the most and seemed supportive of it, while most of the people were my age (late 20s) and were incredulous..though thankfully not unsupportive.

[Kris]

Anyone ever get jealous of things they see on FB?

I need to stop checking it so often, because lately I have found myself comparing things to what other people list...which I realize is stupid because oftentimes they are only the highlight of someone's day/life. Also even if they are completely blissful and everything is perfect, I realize that I should be happy for their happiness/success, instead of using it to criticize myself.

I don't know if anyone else ever feels this way.

Definitely. It's easy getting jealous over all the nice restaurants people go to and the latest toy/gadget/car/etc they got and that they post pictures of. It's OK seeing that stuff once in a while, but sometimes people go overboard. It's rare that I'll see that much activity from a single person but it has happened, and when it does, I just unfollow them so their stream doesn't show. And if I never really knew them that well, I just de-friend them (it's not like they get notified, and they probably don't even notice to begin with)

I've never understood this phenomenon. I'm thrilled when my friends post positive things that are going on in their lives. I'm happy for them because they are my friends. I am far more likely to unfollow or defriend those who are constantly posting negative, whiny, complaining, or blatant and rude racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc things.

If I get jealous of someone else's happiness or success it's a clear indication that they are no friend of mine and they shouldn't be on my facebook (has happened a couple times).

I'd much rather be surrounded by positive events than negative, even if those things (new house, new car, new restaurant) aren't things I would choose for myself. Last year was a shit year for lots of my friends and especially for me. But I had one friend (she's more of an acquaintance) for whom everything was spectacular and falling into place. I really enjoyed her updates and excitement. it made me feel better about life, not worse about myself.

Honest question: Why be jealous if they are your friends?

I've never understood it either.  But I know it's a "thing" that they have studied and found to be true.  I've wondered if maybe it doesn't affect me so much because a) I'm older and less likely to envy other people their lives; and b) I'm pretty damn happy with my life, so less likely to look at other people's vacations, etc. and wish I could do the same.

[bzzzt]

Honest question: Why be jealous if they are your friends?

For me, it's not so much jealousy as wishing I could be doing what they're doing.

My life is pretty awesome right now. I have a healthy, wonderful son, my wife and I own our house and vehicles outright, work outlook is good for both of us, and we should be FI in ~10 years.

Unfortunately, I'm still unhappy quite a bit. I yearn for the times in my life that I didn't have as many responsibilities to people and things. When I see people doing the things I would like to be doing, it makes me sad that I can't spend as much time doing them anymore or as much passion as I did in the past.

Some would probably argue that living life as "Eat/Sleep/xxxx" is unhealthy, but all the times in my life that I was able to focus mostly on tasks I love doing were the best times in my life. I am thankful for all the joys in my life, but I have done so many great things that the bar is set really damn high.

After a year of trying to be more Mustachian, the biggest things that have stuck has been spending and consuming less. Stoicism is definitely one of the harder principals to apply.

[Papa Mustache]

But it's tough to watch your friends and family spend wildly and then listen to them talk about how tough things are. Biting one's tongue too often really hurts... ;)

I love to celebrate everyone's successes and bemoan their failures. Have a harder time celebrating their stupidity... Want to keep a nice smile on about it all.

[Adventine]

I can have anything I want. Seeing friends spend every dollar they make and guarantee themselves a long life of wage slavery does not in any way encourage me to want more things.

I'm gonna have everything I want in life, and I'll decide when to let myself have it. ;)

I really like this way of thinking. I need to cultivate it in myself :)

[swick]

I really wanted to respond to this one. I didn't...

"It's funny how I have no problem spending money on food and/or restaurants, but when it comes to buying clothes I have an internal battle with myself. Do I really need to spend $50 on clothing? I really like it... but do I NEED it? I'll probably own it for years... but is it really worth $50? Nah, let's go get a beer and a burger instead. -.-"

[Drifterrider]

This is why men have, and I'm sure will continue to win, far more Darwin awards than women.  "What could go wrong?  I'm awesome!" :)

Men are also more likely to do Darwin Award shit when women are around. Proven by research.

And is usually preceded by "Hold my beer............"

[zephyr911]

I really like this way of thinking. I need to cultivate it in myself :)

It's easier when you know them IRL and can see more easily how the abundance of new stuff directly correlates to, for example, a high-income DINK couple making little progress toward financial freedom. Some of my best friends personify this. I love their hot tub, but I also love the $500 a year I'm currently reinvesting because I chose real estate instead... ;)

Someday I'll damn well have my cake and eat it too.

And is usually preceded by "Hold my beer............"

The true professionals can pull it off without putting their beer down.

[Adventine]

I really like this way of thinking. I need to cultivate it in myself :)

It's easier when you know them IRL and can see more easily how the abundance of new stuff directly correlates to, for example, a high-income DINK couple making little progress toward financial freedom. Some of my best friends personify this. I love their hot tub, but I also love the $500 a year I'm currently reinvesting because I chose real estate instead... ;)

Someday I'll damn well have my cake and eat it too.

Good point. I know a lot of people who post about having/doing cool expensive things, but don't mention that their parents still pay for all their living expenses.

[Papa Mustache]

Or their parents WILL pay all their living expenses when they go bankrupt.

I have one of these friends. Marriage. All sorts of international trips. Lots of pictures. Alot of buzz within the crowd around them congratulating them on their travels.

And then two years later, bankruptcy, divorce and he's still on his Mama's food bill living in his parents' house a decade later.

[golden1]

I only have one friend I am "jealous of".  Her husband had a job on the Netherlands for 4 years when they were in their 20's and they spent that time basically travelling and seeing Europe and parts of Africa which is something I would love to do.  Then once they decided to have kids they settled in my area.  They live in a nice house but not extravagant in a nearby town, and she has never had to work.  Her husband is in finance and makes 200K + a year.  She is choosing to go back part time now that her kids are in middle school.  I am just envious that she has so many choices due to her husband's job.   I know it is the grass is greener syndrome, but when I see her posts about being able to travel with the kids at a moment's notice or being able to spend the time to do things for her family that I can't do, I get a bit sad.   

[merula]

I only have one friend I am "jealous of".  Her husband had a job on the Netherlands for 4 years when they were in their 20's and they spent that time basically travelling and seeing Europe and parts of Africa which is something I would love to do.  Then once they decided to have kids they settled in my area.  They live in a nice house but not extravagant in a nearby town, and she has never had to work.  Her husband is in finance and makes 200K + a year.  She is choosing to go back part time now that her kids are in middle school.  I am just envious that she has so many choices due to her husband's job.   I know it is the grass is greener syndrome, but when I see her posts about being able to travel with the kids at a moment's notice or being able to spend the time to do things for her family that I can't do, I get a bit sad.   

If it helps you see another perspective, I work with people who make a lot of money in finance, like your friend's husband. They're generally not the happiest people and a lot of  the stress of their jobs seems to get taken out on their spouses and children.

Maybe your friend's husband is the exception and he's a great guy and doting dad. Maybe the surprise vacations are based on wanting to see something really cool and not "we have to go right now because we might not get a chance for another 8 months". Maybe, but that's not where I would put my money.

[nnls]

Just saw this on fb. She is saying she spends about $2880 a year on blow drying her hair.

And then the comments are full of people saying "you worked hard for it, you deserve it" "you should spend the money while oyu have it as in the future you might not be earning as much" or people tallying up the amounts they spend which is equal or more.

no one has suggested she should maybe be saving money or even looking for a cheaper place to go!

And a few people have commented that they spend a lot less and couldn't justify spending that much and then get told off for "shaming" her about her money.

She also mentions owing a lot in medical fees.

[dragoncar]

"you should spend the money while oyu have it as in the future you might not be earning as much"

poor people logic

[nnls]

"you should spend the money while oyu have it as in the future you might not be earning as much"

poor people logic

it just seems completely crazy to me

[Goldielocks]

Just saw this on fb. She is saying she spends about $2880 a year on blow drying her hair.

And then the comments are full of people saying "you worked hard for it, you deserve it" "you should spend the money while oyu have it as in the future you might not be earning as much" or people tallying up the amounts they spend which is equal or more.

no one has suggested she should maybe be saving money or even looking for a cheaper place to go!

And a few people have commented that they spend a lot less and couldn't justify spending that much and then get told off for "shaming" her about her money.

She also mentions owing a lot in medical fees.

Huh,  I don't know, maybe take the FB post at "face" value and actually post your MMM beauty budget..as requested.. of $5.90 per month, for the annual haircut, and $3000 per year on the trip across the world to learn about new hairstyles worn in Vietnam,  or where ever....

[nnls]

Just saw this on fb. She is saying she spends about $2880 a year on blow drying her hair.

And then the comments are full of people saying "you worked hard for it, you deserve it" "you should spend the money while oyu have it as in the future you might not be earning as much" or people tallying up the amounts they spend which is equal or more.

no one has suggested she should maybe be saving money or even looking for a cheaper place to go!

And a few people have commented that they spend a lot less and couldn't justify spending that much and then get told off for "shaming" her about her money.

She also mentions owing a lot in medical fees.

Huh,  I don't know, maybe take the FB post at "face" value and actually post your MMM beauty budget..as requested.. of $5.90 per month, for the annual haircut, and $3000 per year on the trip across the world to learn about new hairstyles worn in Vietnam,  or where ever....

haha yes but anyone who did post that there budget was say $300 for the year got told off, as trying to shame people that spent money. it was strange

[JordanOfGilead]

Just saw this on fb. She is saying she spends about $2880 a year on blow drying her hair.

And then the comments are full of people saying "you worked hard for it, you deserve it" "you should spend the money while oyu have it as in the future you might not be earning as much" or people tallying up the amounts they spend which is equal or more.

no one has suggested she should maybe be saving money or even looking for a cheaper place to go!

And a few people have commented that they spend a lot less and couldn't justify spending that much and then get told off for "shaming" her about her money.

She also mentions owing a lot in medical fees.

Huh,  I don't know, maybe take the FB post at "face" value and actually post your MMM beauty budget..as requested.. of $5.90 per month, for the annual haircut, and $3000 per year on the trip across the world to learn about new hairstyles worn in Vietnam,  or where ever....

haha yes but anyone who did post that there budget was say $300 for the year got told off, as trying to shame people that spent money. it was strange

I feel like I remember a couple replies on this thread a few pages back regarding people just wanting sympathy for their stupidity, but not being willing to actually do anything to fix the situation.

-Edit-
Just realized that it was a few pages back on the overheard at work thread. Not worth digging to find, especially considering the level of foam over there lately.

[SirOcelot]

"you should spend the money while oyu have it as in the future you might not be earning as much"

poor people logic

it just seems completely crazy to me

"Consider the mindset of a 4-year-old living in a crowded shelter, surrounded by older children with little adult supervision. For a child accustomed to stolen possessions and broken promises, the only guaranteed treats are the ones you have already swallowed."

http://healthland.time.com/2012/10/12/marshmallow-ology-why-wait-when-the-better-treat-might-never-arrive/

[LeRainDrop]

Just saw this on fb. She is saying she spends about $2880 a year on blow drying her hair.

Wow, the $2,880 on blow-drying her hair isn't even the worst of it!  Your cover post was mind-boggling enough, but then I looked at the screen shot and read about her haircuts/colors, $1,800 on "shellac or sns" [what does this mean -- polish of some sort?] on her fingers and toes, $1,100 on her lips [what is this -- injections?], and anticipated plan to start botox.  That girl better be frickin' gorgeous and her career depend upon it because her beauty budget is insane!

[nnls]

Just saw this on fb. She is saying she spends about $2880 a year on blow drying her hair.

Wow, the $2,880 on blow-drying her hair isn't even the worst of it!  Your cover post was mind-boggling enough, but then I looked at the screen shot and read about her haircuts/colors, $1,800 on "shellac or sns" [what does this mean -- polish of some sort?] on her fingers and toes, $1,100 on her lips [what is this -- injections?], and anticipated plan to start botox.  That girl better be frickin' gorgeous and her career depend upon it because her beauty budget is insane!

SNS and shellc are nail polish that stay on a lot better than regular.

one of the people in the comments mentioned they spend $200 a week on makeup, on top of hair and beauty and nail stuff.

[theadvicist]

Friend liked one of those 'how to live well' poems. I can't find it now, but the opening line was "live below your means".

Funny thing is I was organising a trip with said friend a few weeks ago, and when another friend suggested somewhere cheaper, friend 1 said, "Nooooo, that's what credit cards are for!".

We settled on a destination, and it came time to make the reservations. Friend 1, who was supposedly organising it all, said to me, "please can you book the tickets? I don't have enough room on my credit card".

WTF.

[nnls]

Friend liked one of those 'how to live well' poems. I can't find it now, but the opening line was "live below your means".

Funny thing is I was organising a trip with said friend a few weeks ago, and when another friend suggested somewhere cheaper, friend 1 said, "Nooooo, that's what credit cards are for!".

We settled on a destination, and it came time to make the reservations. Friend 1, who was supposedly organising it all, said to me, "please can you book the tickets? I don't have enough room on my credit card".

WTF.

I am always the one amongst friends booking things on my cc as they dont have enough available. At least I get points

[theadvicist]

Friend liked one of those 'how to live well' poems. I can't find it now, but the opening line was "live below your means".

Funny thing is I was organising a trip with said friend a few weeks ago, and when another friend suggested somewhere cheaper, friend 1 said, "Nooooo, that's what credit cards are for!".

We settled on a destination, and it came time to make the reservations. Friend 1, who was supposedly organising it all, said to me, "please can you book the tickets? I don't have enough room on my credit card".

WTF.

I am always the one amongst friends booking things on my cc as they dont have enough available. At least I get points

Yeah I was pleased with the points! But I was annoyed I had to do it, as she suggested a more complex trip than I was prepared to organise, and I said, "Sure, if you're prepared to organise it all". Apparently 'organise' to her meant, 'tell you to book it'. Ugh.

I could have said "no, you said you would", but I wanted to go on the trip more than I wanted that satisfaction.

[winostache]

I am always the one amongst friends booking things on my cc as they dont have enough available. At least I get points

This is also me!   My friend ruined her credit early, and only recently got a secured credit card to try to fix it, but for the last few years, she's planned everything and then told me to book at X site for Y date(s).  It was working really well until she changed jobs and had to stretch a few weeks without a paycheck, but assured me we could still do a planned weekend trip.  That was the first time we didn't settle up on the way home because she wasn't paying attention to the budget and now the dynamic between us has shifted a bit.

Remember, booking for the group is technically lending them money for what you hope is a very short time and the situation can turn weird very quickly if they're not on the same timetable as you!

[TheGrimSqueaker]

I am always the one amongst friends booking things on my cc as they dont have enough available. At least I get points

This is also me!   My friend ruined her credit early, and only recently got a secured credit card to try to fix it, but for the last few years, she's planned everything and then told me to book at X site for Y date(s).  It was working really well until she changed jobs and had to stretch a few weeks without a paycheck, but assured me we could still do a planned weekend trip.  That was the first time we didn't settle up on the way home because she wasn't paying attention to the budget and now the dynamic between us has shifted a bit.

Remember, booking for the group is technically lending them money for what you hope is a very short time and the situation can turn weird very quickly if they're not on the same timetable as you!

Or if they are suddenly convinced that you're treating them. I've had this happen.

[theadvicist]

I am always the one amongst friends booking things on my cc as they dont have enough available. At least I get points

This is also me!   My friend ruined her credit early, and only recently got a secured credit card to try to fix it, but for the last few years, she's planned everything and then told me to book at X site for Y date(s).  It was working really well until she changed jobs and had to stretch a few weeks without a paycheck, but assured me we could still do a planned weekend trip.  That was the first time we didn't settle up on the way home because she wasn't paying attention to the budget and now the dynamic between us has shifted a bit.

Remember, booking for the group is technically lending them money for what you hope is a very short time and the situation can turn weird very quickly if they're not on the same timetable as you!

Or if they are suddenly convinced that you're treating them. I've had this happen.

What?! Oh dear.

Don't worry, she booked the accommodation, I booked the flights, so I owed her money in the end! Paid her immediately, of course. But definitely something to watch for!

[frugalnacho]

Just saw this on fb. She is saying she spends about $2880 a year on blow drying her hair.

And then the comments are full of people saying "you worked hard for it, you deserve it" "you should spend the money while oyu have it as in the future you might not be earning as much" or people tallying up the amounts they spend which is equal or more.

no one has suggested she should maybe be saving money or even looking for a cheaper place to go!

And a few people have commented that they spend a lot less and couldn't justify spending that much and then get told off for "shaming" her about her money.

She also mentions owing a lot in medical fees.

She refuses to go a week without blow dry, @$60/ea, thats $60x52 = $3,120.  How does she come up with $2880? Does she skip 4 weeks a year (despite claiming she refuses to skip a week), or is she just bad at math?

[candygirl]

So a close train wreck friend posted a picture of her brand new 2015 Jeep Grand Cherokee and how happy she is with it.  Of course I said it was nice, but why did she get it?  her response was that her husband had been in the dealership before Christmas looking around and they called him since vehicles were not moving and therefore they got a great deal. 

So some backstory to put things in perspective:

1. She believes she has no debt, even though she has a line of credit and a car loan.
2. In 2014, they sold their home in Southwestern Ontario, for minimal equity, and packed up and moved to Alberta (she was originally going to move to BC because she wanted to live in the mountains, I at least managed to get her to come to her senses that at the time jobs were more readily available in Alberta)
3. To move, her and her husband purchased a minivan to take their belongings and a uhaul to drive across the country and figure out where they wanted to live, with no destination in mind or secured job. This van was paid for in cash with the proceeds of the home.
4. 3 months after the move, and after her husband found a job (she doesn't work, stays home and watches tv and is on fb most of the day), they proceeded to buy a 2014 fully outfitted and lifted dodge ram 1500 with crazy bells and whistles because "everyone out here has a truck", and in the process traded in the fully paid van and took out a loan.
5. fast forward to last week, and while her husband is still working and making great money on the oil patch (no warning bells going of for them at all), he gets the call and they decide that because she always wanted a grand Cherokee and it was a great deal they traded in their truck (which is now too big for what they need).  As I gently inquired about it, and was it expensive, she said, oh no, its an amazing deal because they consolidated their $8000 of debt from high interest cards into the loan, plus got $7500 off because of knowing or being related to someone at the Chrysler plant, and the trade in value of the truck came out to the new price of the Cherokee. But in total they got $16,000 off the price. At least (?) its only 3.49% interest...

Anyways, it makes me cringle a lot when I hear this stuff from her, because they have no money saved (except for the company match RRSP he just started to invest in that does a company match thank god), they used his tax return to get her motor bike a custom paint job (I was hoping they would put it into an RRSP for her, but alas priorities), and while she says that they are "saving", I have no idea how. They are 45 and 43 with no thoughts of planning beyond what they are going to do when he comes home for his week off before he goes away for another 2 weeks of work.

[nobodyspecial]

But at least he has a stable well paid job in the Albertan oildfields

[Papa Mustache]

And oil is $30 a barrel and taking it's toll on the oil industry which is consequently downsizing here and there - yet these two are spending freely and taking on multi-year debt that is unnecessary. Seems like a good idea to me... -eye roller-

:)

[The Guru]

You both beat me to it.

[nobodyspecial]

And oil is $30 a barrel and taking

Brent Crude or WTI might be $30, but Albertan bitumen isn't - even assuming you could get it to a refinery.

[candygirl]

And I forgot to add that they are thinking of buying the house they currently rent in an expensive resort town, but they of course have no money saved for a down payment and are discussing rent to own options with the current owner. A 4 bedroom house for basically just her and the dogs (because the husband and son are working away 2 weeks at a time). I told her to at least make sure she gets an appraisal done with the down turn in the housing prices and negotiate, don't just settle for whatever owner states is the price.

And the best: the cherokee fits in the garage, which the truck never did. So now she has to shovel the driveway. Sigh.

[nnls]

Just saw this on fb. She is saying she spends about $2880 a year on blow drying her hair.

And then the comments are full of people saying "you worked hard for it, you deserve it" "you should spend the money while oyu have it as in the future you might not be earning as much" or people tallying up the amounts they spend which is equal or more.

no one has suggested she should maybe be saving money or even looking for a cheaper place to go!

And a few people have commented that they spend a lot less and couldn't justify spending that much and then get told off for "shaming" her about her money.

She also mentions owing a lot in medical fees.

She refuses to go a week without blow dry, @$60/ea, thats $60x52 = $3,120.  How does she come up with $2880? Does she skip 4 weeks a year (despite claiming she refuses to skip a week), or is she just bad at math?

I am going to guess bad at math