Author Topic: Overheard on Facebook  (Read 4789299 times)

Nederstash

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4300 on: May 01, 2016, 11:37:38 AM »
Somewhat off topic, but here is one from today that bent my mind...

"8000 LB WENCH
$175"

The mental picture it conjures up...

Yo mama jokes in 3...2...1...

theadvicist

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4301 on: May 03, 2016, 07:02:52 AM »
Sorry to continue the over-the-counter foam, but I looked it up, and in the UK there are 3 classifications for medicines for sale:

1) 'POM': Prescription only medicine.
2) 'P': Pharmacy medicines, sales of which need Pharmacist supervision and
3) 'GSL': General sales list, which you can buy in a corner shop / petrol station for example, needing no medical supervision.

Both 2 & 3 are technically OTC, which is everything except prescription drugs (source: http://www.pagb.co.uk/regulatory/access.html). However, colloquially, I think the general usage is that "P" drugs are called OTC because they are kept behind the counter and handed to you over it, whereas "GSL" are available in many places.

This is incorrect usage, I think, as OTC actually means, as someone says above, on the consumer side of the counter.

I was talking about 2) medicines, classed as 'P', where no ID is required but you are asked questions about medical history and other current drug usage. I was using OTC to mean passed over the counter, incorrectly, but in the current lexicon.

In the US it doesn't look as though there is this classification of 'P' - it's either prescribed, or available to purchase without medical supervision. The restrictions on pseudoephedrine, requiring ID, are to control sale to limit meth production, not because of concerns about patient usage (which is the reason for the P classification). /foam

barbaz

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4302 on: May 03, 2016, 08:07:33 AM »
Ok, wait. The only drugs my pharmacy stores behind the counter are (1) actual need-a-prescription drugs and (2) pseudoephedrine because it's used to make meth. Plan B used to be over-the-counter but age restricted, so it was behind the counter and no longer is.
Here in Germany, most pharmacies have almost all drugs in a backroom because they use most of the store to sell overpriced health candy and other quackery.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4303 on: May 03, 2016, 08:26:45 AM »
Ok, wait. The only drugs my pharmacy stores behind the counter are (1) actual need-a-prescription drugs and (2) pseudoephedrine because it's used to make meth. Plan B used to be over-the-counter but age restricted, so it was behind the counter and no longer is.
Here in Germany, most pharmacies have almost all drugs in a backroom because they use most of the store to sell overpriced health candy and other quackery.

I'm stealing this phrase. It is brilliant.

SunshineAZ

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4304 on: May 03, 2016, 08:28:27 AM »
I had periods of doom, 2 days of every month pretty much miserable.  Turns out I had endometriosis, took 22 years to get diagnosed.  If you have terrible pain monthly, look it up, it's fairly common but very difficult to diagnose.

Now I have no uterus, I couldn't be happier!  I figure all told that about 2 years of my life were lost to pain.  Fucking waste.
QFT!

I had horrible periods as a teen 3-5 days of agony, finally went on the pill and was good for many years, started dating a guy who had a vasectomy and was mid-30s and decided to go off the pill.  I was good for about a year or two and then horrible pain and heavy periods again, turns out I had fibroids.  Had a hysterectomy at 42 and I don't miss it a bit.  :)

humbleMouse

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4305 on: May 04, 2016, 01:18:01 PM »
Maybe the overheard on facebook thread could stop talking about period experiences?  Just a thought?  Start your own mustachian period thread maybe?

shotgunwilly

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4306 on: May 04, 2016, 02:34:39 PM »
Maybe the overheard on facebook thread could stop talking about period experiences?  Just a thought?  Start your own mustachian period thread maybe?

Agreed. We need to keep the flow going. Period.

faithless

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4307 on: May 04, 2016, 03:42:32 PM »
Maybe the overheard on facebook thread could stop talking about period experiences?  Just a thought?  Start your own mustachian period thread maybe?

Agreed. We need to keep the flow going. Period.

Bloody foam!

;)

zephyr911

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4308 on: May 06, 2016, 10:13:00 AM »
Maybe the overheard on facebook thread could stop talking about period experiences?  Just a thought?  Start your own mustachian period thread maybe?

Agreed. We need to keep the flow going. Period.

Bloody foam!

;)

Dammit, people! I'm laughing so fucking hard I've got cramps! >.<

coin

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4309 on: May 07, 2016, 09:42:11 PM »
Sadly a friend of my partner's is in one of those situations where you empathise with them, even though they've made a few dumb decisions, but you can't tell them that.

The TL;DR background is that this friend is married and has a son.  The relationship fell apart in an ugly manner recently and the son is about two years old.  Currently he's living with some mutual friends while the whole custody mess goes through the courts.

I empathise with the guy, I really do.  But... He was in a car accident, and used the insurance payout to buy another 4WD and have it tricked out when he only goes four wheel driving a few times a year (we live in Australia, so no snow, either). 

While looking for his new car, he rented a car.  Our mutual friends live in a sketchy area (as in, my car got broken into while parked outside their house for a few hours and a week later somebody set fire to a stolen car that had been left in the park across the road), but despite the warning signs the police put up around the neighbourhood (e.g. 'do not leave valuables in your car) he left his work bag containing some valuables inside on the passenger seat of the rental car one night and discovered the rental vehicle had been broken into the following morning.  It's not his fault, but you'd think he'd be a bit more careful when he really can't afford to be replacing expensive stuff.

He's also up for going out to eat and the movies, but when we visited the other day all he could talk about was how poor he is and that his situation is unfair.

I dunno.  He just seems to have some messed up sense of priorities.  He's always up for distracting himself from his current situation, but isn't doing anything that will actually improve his situation.  It's hard to watch because I like the guy well enough, but I'm not really close enough to tell him to stop wasting his money, sell the 4WD and save everything he can so he can afford to meet the courts requirements so he can have custody of his son (e.g. he needs to have a separate room for the kid).

Sibley

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4310 on: May 08, 2016, 10:26:14 AM »
Can I vent?

My friend and roommate is unemployed, and as far as I can tell isn't working really hard to find a new job. Daddy will bail her out if she runs out of money of course.

She got the free trial of the Graze box. I'd never heard of it, apparently they send you individually packaged healthy snacks for an inflated price. She really likes it, so instead of cancelling before she has to pay for it has decided to keep it for a while. SHE HAS NO JOB.

Had some other friends over last night, and she brought service this up and recommended it. Everyone laughed in her face. Hopefully that'll wake her up, but I kinda doubt it.

She's also really pissing me off because she DOESN'T work, and I do, and she doesn't clean. She'll cook, and make a mess in the kitchen, and not clean it up. Then I come home to a messy house, and she's the one who messed it up. And she doesn't work. If we get bugs, I'm making her clean every single inch of the house. By hand.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4311 on: May 08, 2016, 12:04:00 PM »
Can I vent?

She got the free trial of the Graze box. I'd never heard of it, apparently they send you individually packaged healthy snacks for an inflated price. She really likes it, so instead of cancelling before she has to pay for it has decided to keep it for a while. SHE HAS NO JOB.

Yes of course, that's what the main purpose of this thread is imo.

My former landlord/roommate used that service for a while. He is a huge guy (around 300 pounds though he's dropped some of it recently) and so he could eat the entire package in a sitting. I remember the first time he got it he saw the look on my face and couldn't think of anything to say, I didn't see it for very long afterwards so I'm guessing he either discontinued the service or hid it.

Sibley

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4312 on: May 08, 2016, 12:33:17 PM »
Can I vent?

She got the free trial of the Graze box. I'd never heard of it, apparently they send you individually packaged healthy snacks for an inflated price. She really likes it, so instead of cancelling before she has to pay for it has decided to keep it for a while. SHE HAS NO JOB.

Yes of course, that's what the main purpose of this thread is imo.

My former landlord/roommate used that service for a while. He is a huge guy (around 300 pounds though he's dropped some of it recently) and so he could eat the entire package in a sitting. I remember the first time he got it he saw the look on my face and couldn't think of anything to say, I didn't see it for very long afterwards so I'm guessing he either discontinued the service or hid it.

Oh yeah, she's overweight as well and is trying to lose weight.

theadvicist

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4313 on: May 09, 2016, 02:17:54 AM »
Can I vent?

She got the free trial of the Graze box. I'd never heard of it, apparently they send you individually packaged healthy snacks for an inflated price. She really likes it, so instead of cancelling before she has to pay for it has decided to keep it for a while. SHE HAS NO JOB.

Yes of course, that's what the main purpose of this thread is imo.

My former landlord/roommate used that service for a while. He is a huge guy (around 300 pounds though he's dropped some of it recently) and so he could eat the entire package in a sitting. I remember the first time he got it he saw the look on my face and couldn't think of anything to say, I didn't see it for very long afterwards so I'm guessing he either discontinued the service or hid it.

Oh yeah, she's overweight as well and is trying to lose weight.

I tried it (er, free trail, cancelled before being charged, natch). There is nothing healthy about it except the marketing. Half the items were just nuts, but instead of mixing them with raisins, you got chocolate chips (and not even dark chocolate, really sweet milk chocolate?!), and the rest were basically bombay mix but with middle-class flavourings like pepper and wasabi or sea salt and cinnamon.

Ridiculous on every level: the 'healthiness', the cost, and the very idea people need snacks POSTING to them lest they have to get off their arse and go to the shop, or even order groceries delivered to their house but then show enough organisation and restraint to organise them into small portions. Also, so much plastic packaging. I see so many Graze packs in our office post room though, so some genius will FIRE on the back of it.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4314 on: May 09, 2016, 08:14:58 AM »
Can I vent?

She got the free trial of the Graze box. I'd never heard of it, apparently they send you individually packaged healthy snacks for an inflated price. She really likes it, so instead of cancelling before she has to pay for it has decided to keep it for a while. SHE HAS NO JOB.

Yes of course, that's what the main purpose of this thread is imo.

My former landlord/roommate used that service for a while. He is a huge guy (around 300 pounds though he's dropped some of it recently) and so he could eat the entire package in a sitting. I remember the first time he got it he saw the look on my face and couldn't think of anything to say, I didn't see it for very long afterwards so I'm guessing he either discontinued the service or hid it.

Oh yeah, she's overweight as well and is trying to lose weight.

I tried it (er, free trail, cancelled before being charged, natch). There is nothing healthy about it except the marketing. Half the items were just nuts, but instead of mixing them with raisins, you got chocolate chips (and not even dark chocolate, really sweet milk chocolate?!), and the rest were basically bombay mix but with middle-class flavourings like pepper and wasabi or sea salt and cinnamon.

Ridiculous on every level: the 'healthiness', the cost, and the very idea people need snacks POSTING to them lest they have to get off their arse and go to the shop, or even order groceries delivered to their house but then show enough organisation and restraint to organise them into small portions. Also, so much plastic packaging. I see so many Graze packs in our office post room though, so some genius will FIRE on the back of it.

I should add that I don't think my roommate continued on with that expensive snacking. I saw him last night and it's clear that he has been exercising and eating better, and is trying to bike more places now that it's beautiful outside.

fat-johnny

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4315 on: May 09, 2016, 01:57:59 PM »
Posted by my distant out-of-state cousin, 35F:  Happy birthday presents for the boys, iPhone 6s and Otterbox cases!!   (the boys are maybe 10yo and 12yo)  with picture of said boys holding new-in-box iPhones and cases

5 minutes later:  Prayers out to my dad and the rest of my family.  Get well soon, we'll see you in a few days  (he had a heart attack that day, and is recovering very nicely).

5 minutes later:  Early Mother's Day present for me!! (with picture of some new iPad device)

Glad to see you could sandwich you deep concern for your father and his heart attack in between spendypants Fakebook posts!!

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")

This is the same cousin who about 3 years ago include a typed-up page with her Christmas card (which BTW was a picture of the whole fam standing in front of their newly built 5,000sf custom home):  "The boys are doing great, both involved in spendypants travel baseball teams, so if anyone would like to send money, because travel baseball is expensive……."  and then posts to FB all year from these baseball tournaments about how they are out to eat at Outback, Longhorn, etc.. and pictures of the boys drinking $10 virgin daiquiris and the like.

Ugh…..I could go on and on.

RFAAOATB

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4316 on: May 09, 2016, 04:51:13 PM »

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")


A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4317 on: May 09, 2016, 07:10:13 PM »

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")


A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

Just have your wife do it. That's what women are for, after all.

VaCPA

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4318 on: May 09, 2016, 08:19:40 PM »
big Facebook debate here over night, our property values are increasing exponentially, so our property taxes are increasing as well. but taxes are capped at 10% growth per year, and values are going faster than that. And everyone is furious. It's simple math. my house is up like 20k and it's going to cost me $500 this year. I would do unforgivable things to get that rate of return with any of my other investments.

but so many of the people in this town bought more house than they can afford, and have 2 leased new SUVs or Luxury sedans in their driveway. I drive my toyota past them on my way to work, thinking about how at this rate I can Fire early and move to Tuscany instead of rural PA...

It is inconceivable to me how some people can set up there lives to be so near the red.  A friend of a friend bought a large house in the country with a long commute and let slip that there budget is setup to be 40$ in the black each month.  WTF he is an engineer too.  Like 40$ is a 50cent increase in gas!  I totally get that bad things happen and some people end up in trouble for bizarre hard to plain for events, but if you are a middle aged professional and cant shrug off 500$/year you are doing something wrong.

My wife and I are considering buying a house and are looking at our mortgage/taxes/insurance payment being in the 22-23% of our posttax, post-tithe income. Technically of just my income, too.

It feels like a lot. But... people go absolutely house bonkers. I'm sure we could push that to 30% or 35% from the bank perspective.

More than that, from a bank perspective. They're ridiculous, and approve people for way more than they can afford with any security margin.

We have a big house in the country with a 45 minute commute and good but not great salaries. But mortgage, taxes, and insurance, all together, are 22-24% of our income, depending on the month. Even that sometimes feels like a whole lot.

People always blame the evil bank, but guess what people need to take responsibility. The bank doesn't even get a full picture of people's finances really. They run credit checks and do debt/income ratios but they still can't see all the expenses people are incurring. The issue is when people suck at budgeting and assume because the bank approved them they can afford it. There were some really shady lenders pre housing crisis but most of them are long gone.

nobodyspecial

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4319 on: May 09, 2016, 09:35:37 PM »
A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

Just have your wife do it. That's what women are for, after all.
That's the reason for gay marriage - now women can have a wife to look after them aswell !
 

theadvicist

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4320 on: May 10, 2016, 05:33:53 AM »


People always blame the evil bank, but guess what people need to take responsibility. The bank doesn't even get a full picture of people's finances really. They run credit checks and do debt/income ratios but they still can't see all the expenses people are incurring. The issue is when people suck at budgeting and assume because the bank approved them they can afford it. There were some really shady lenders pre housing crisis but most of them are long gone.

Ugh, in the UK now the lending restrictions are so tight (which is a good thing), except SO MANY QUESTIONS and so much paperwork involved in our remortgage. They literally took down a line by line budget of everything, the affordability criteria is really strict here now.

I should do a post for 'mustachian people problems' thread because they just did not believe our expenses were so low.

Then when I told them I wanted to pay off a chunk of the mortgage, they were like, "well, we'll need proof of where the funds have come from!" and I'm like, "I JUST had to explain to you that we live on much less than we earn, that's where the funds came from". Among the things they asked us about as "basic living expenses" were pay TV, gambling, alcohol and tobacco!

shelivesthedream

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4321 on: May 10, 2016, 05:36:01 AM »

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")


A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

Just have your wife do it. That's what women are for, after all.

Surely a wife is more expensive than a maid, what with all the haircuts and manicures and designer handbags and... uh... all that other woman stuff they spend money on.

RWD

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4322 on: May 10, 2016, 06:49:24 AM »


People always blame the evil bank, but guess what people need to take responsibility. The bank doesn't even get a full picture of people's finances really. They run credit checks and do debt/income ratios but they still can't see all the expenses people are incurring. The issue is when people suck at budgeting and assume because the bank approved them they can afford it. There were some really shady lenders pre housing crisis but most of them are long gone.

Ugh, in the UK now the lending restrictions are so tight (which is a good thing), except SO MANY QUESTIONS and so much paperwork involved in our remortgage. They literally took down a line by line budget of everything, the affordability criteria is really strict here now.

I should do a post for 'mustachian people problems' thread because they just did not believe our expenses were so low.

Then when I told them I wanted to pay off a chunk of the mortgage, they were like, "well, we'll need proof of where the funds have come from!" and I'm like, "I JUST had to explain to you that we live on much less than we earn, that's where the funds came from". Among the things they asked us about as "basic living expenses" were pay TV, gambling, alcohol and tobacco!

Wow, that's crazy. It's not that strict here in the US but when we were getting our mortgage the lending bank wanted to see the checking account statement for a check that had already cleared...

nobodyspecial

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4323 on: May 10, 2016, 06:54:18 AM »
Wow, that's crazy. It's not that strict here in the US but when we were getting our mortgage the lending bank wanted to see the checking account statement for a check that had already cleared...
Following from a lot of media stories about the Russian billionaires and drug lords buying £MM houses in London to launder stolen money - the government stepped in and made you go through this to get a mortgage.
One rental agency told us they couldn't take £20 cash for a copy of a key - because of money laundering rules.

Thinking is apparently banned in London.

jinga nation

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4324 on: May 10, 2016, 07:34:35 AM »
Wow, that's crazy. It's not that strict here in the US but when we were getting our mortgage the lending bank wanted to see the checking account statement for a check that had already cleared...
Following from a lot of media stories about the Russian billionaires and drug lords buying £MM houses in London to launder stolen money - the government stepped in and made you go through this to get a mortgage.
One rental agency told us they couldn't take £20 cash for a copy of a key - because of money laundering rules.

Thinking is apparently banned in London.
It has been for a while. Even my wife, who lived there from 1997-2004, is astonished. Using logic will soon be criminalized. V for Vendetta. The Victorians are rolling in their graves.

theadvicist

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4325 on: May 10, 2016, 08:35:01 AM »
Yep the money laundering regs are ridiculous!

We have (like any good mustacians) lots of money. I want to pay some off the mortgage, and they need to see where it came from. So I sent two years of bank statements (that's as long as our last mortgage, and as long as the linked account it's in has been open).

The statement clearly show x going in each month, only y going out each month, resulting in z underspend each month. z timesed by the number of months we've owned the house equals the savings.

But because we brought some savings into this account from a previous savings account (because all like good MMM followers we move the money to where the best rates are) they want statements for that account showing the underspend too... but that account was online only and I closed it 2 years ago, so that I would be eligible for 'new customer' bonuses again. Ahhhh!

RFAAOATB

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4326 on: May 10, 2016, 09:29:17 AM »

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")


A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

Just have your wife do it. That's what women are for, after all.


That's what poor women are for.  Rich women outsource that to poor women.  As Senator Warren predicted, we fall in to the two income trap.  We would rather have more income for luxuries, savings, and self worth via job satisfaction than have one of us stay at home. 


mm1970

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4327 on: May 10, 2016, 10:27:27 AM »

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")


A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

Just have your wife do it. That's what women are for, after all.


That's what poor women are for.  Rich women outsource that to poor women.  As Senator Warren predicted, we fall in to the two income trap.  We would rather have more income for luxuries, savings, and self worth via job satisfaction, health insurance, a safe place to live, the ability to support the family in case of a disaster/death/layoff, sanity, the ability to use our education and training than have one of us stay at home 24/7, because being home 70% of the time is plenty.

Fixed that for you.

johnny847

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4328 on: May 10, 2016, 10:39:54 AM »
Yep the money laundering regs are ridiculous!

We have (like any good mustacians) lots of money. I want to pay some off the mortgage, and they need to see where it came from. So I sent two years of bank statements (that's as long as our last mortgage, and as long as the linked account it's in has been open).

The statement clearly show x going in each month, only y going out each month, resulting in z underspend each month. z timesed by the number of months we've owned the house equals the savings.

But because we brought some savings into this account from a previous savings account (because all like good MMM followers we move the money to where the best rates are) they want statements for that account showing the underspend too... but that account was online only and I closed it 2 years ago, so that I would be eligible for 'new customer' bonuses again. Ahhhh!

I take it you don't download your statements every month?

I do so every month. I never really had a good reason for it other than being OCD...but I guess I now have a reason to do so!
(Sort of. I'm not actually saving up for a house, but better to keep the habit up than to remember oh yeah two years before I want to pay off a mortgage I need to start collecting my statements....)

BlueHouse

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4329 on: May 10, 2016, 11:06:56 AM »
Yep the money laundering regs are ridiculous!

We have (like any good mustacians) lots of money. I want to pay some off the mortgage, and they need to see where it came from. So I sent two years of bank statements (that's as long as our last mortgage, and as long as the linked account it's in has been open).

The statement clearly show x going in each month, only y going out each month, resulting in z underspend each month. z timesed by the number of months we've owned the house equals the savings.

But because we brought some savings into this account from a previous savings account (because all like good MMM followers we move the money to where the best rates are) they want statements for that account showing the underspend too... but that account was online only and I closed it 2 years ago, so that I would be eligible for 'new customer' bonuses again. Ahhhh!

I take it you don't download your statements every month?

I do so every month. I never really had a good reason for it other than being OCD...but I guess I now have a reason to do so!
(Sort of. I'm not actually saving up for a house, but better to keep the habit up than to remember oh yeah two years before I want to pay off a mortgage I need to start collecting my statements....)
I used to be OCD like that, and then one day, I just...stopped.  No idea what caused it.  I focus now on making sure I have documentation that I need.  For instance, when I pay something off, I want that receipt.  But when I incur a debt?  nope.  I don't care if it gets lost.  (except for the terms and conditions) 
Here's an interesting bit of information.  I'm sure it won't work in all cases, but for mustachians, it should because our loans typically don't stretch us so thin. When I took out my mortgage a few years ago, the banks were at the height of careful vetting.  They asked for scads and scads of proof and documentation, which I supplied.  The banks knew I was providing the same info to a different bank because I was competing them against one another.  Toward the end, when they asked for "just one more thing", I just stopped providing it.  They had everything they needed and everything they had asked for upfront.  I could tell it was someone in the back room looking over the paperwork trying to be extra-thorough.  I just stopped.  And all three banks offered me the loans.  I think there is a point where you can just stop giving them what they ask for. 

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4330 on: May 10, 2016, 12:04:06 PM »
Yep the money laundering regs are ridiculous!

We have (like any good mustacians) lots of money. I want to pay some off the mortgage, and they need to see where it came from. So I sent two years of bank statements (that's as long as our last mortgage, and as long as the linked account it's in has been open).

The statement clearly show x going in each month, only y going out each month, resulting in z underspend each month. z timesed by the number of months we've owned the house equals the savings.

But because we brought some savings into this account from a previous savings account (because all like good MMM followers we move the money to where the best rates are) they want statements for that account showing the underspend too... but that account was online only and I closed it 2 years ago, so that I would be eligible for 'new customer' bonuses again. Ahhhh!

I take it you don't download your statements every month?

I do so every month. I never really had a good reason for it other than being OCD...but I guess I now have a reason to do so!
(Sort of. I'm not actually saving up for a house, but better to keep the habit up than to remember oh yeah two years before I want to pay off a mortgage I need to start collecting my statements....)
I used to be OCD like that, and then one day, I just...stopped.  No idea what caused it.  I focus now on making sure I have documentation that I need.  For instance, when I pay something off, I want that receipt.  But when I incur a debt?  nope.  I don't care if it gets lost.  (except for the terms and conditions) 
Here's an interesting bit of information.  I'm sure it won't work in all cases, but for mustachians, it should because our loans typically don't stretch us so thin. When I took out my mortgage a few years ago, the banks were at the height of careful vetting.  They asked for scads and scads of proof and documentation, which I supplied.  The banks knew I was providing the same info to a different bank because I was competing them against one another.  Toward the end, when they asked for "just one more thing", I just stopped providing it.  They had everything they needed and everything they had asked for upfront.  I could tell it was someone in the back room looking over the paperwork trying to be extra-thorough.  I just stopped.  And all three banks offered me the loans.  I think there is a point where you can just stop giving them what they ask for.

I still download my statements but I've gotten more lax.  I used to have accounts that would only provide 6 mo tha of statement history so I had to get them before the disappeared.  These days everyone archives my entire history.  Still, when the account closes I lose access. 

Once or twice a year I have a legitimate need to look up some transaction.  This week I couldn't remember where I went for a really cheap Smog check so I had to pull up a two year old statement

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4331 on: May 10, 2016, 12:42:30 PM »
Yep the money laundering regs are ridiculous!

We have (like any good mustacians) lots of money. I want to pay some off the mortgage, and they need to see where it came from. So I sent two years of bank statements (that's as long as our last mortgage, and as long as the linked account it's in has been open).

The statement clearly show x going in each month, only y going out each month, resulting in z underspend each month. z timesed by the number of months we've owned the house equals the savings.

But because we brought some savings into this account from a previous savings account (because all like good MMM followers we move the money to where the best rates are) they want statements for that account showing the underspend too... but that account was online only and I closed it 2 years ago, so that I would be eligible for 'new customer' bonuses again. Ahhhh!

I take it you don't download your statements every month?

I do so every month. I never really had a good reason for it other than being OCD...but I guess I now have a reason to do so!
(Sort of. I'm not actually saving up for a house, but better to keep the habit up than to remember oh yeah two years before I want to pay off a mortgage I need to start collecting my statements....)

LOL, same as Johnny!  I just checked my back-up hard drive -- I still have pdfs of E*TRADE statements from 2000 (for an account I closed in 2006), power bills back to 2004, and cable/internet statements beginning in 2007.  Why do I still have all these???  I guess 'cause they don't take up any physical space.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4332 on: May 10, 2016, 12:59:33 PM »

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")


A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

Just have your wife do it. That's what women are for, after all.


That's what poor women are for.  Rich women outsource that to poor women.  As Senator Warren predicted, we fall in to the two income trap.  We would rather have more income for luxuries, savings, and self worth via job satisfaction, health insurance, a safe place to live, the ability to support the family in case of a disaster/death/layoff, sanity, the ability to use our education and training than have one of us stay at home 24/7, because being home 70% of the time is plenty.

Fixed that for you.

THISTHISTHISTHISTHIS.

Also, y'know, the knowledge that if my husband dies/leaves me/starts acting in ways that make me need to leave, my ability to support myself and my kids are not 100% linked to whether I chose to be sleeping with (or married to) a certain man. THAT HAS VALUE.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4333 on: May 10, 2016, 01:11:02 PM »

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")


A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

Just have your wife do it. That's what women are for, after all.


That's what poor women are for.  Rich women outsource that to poor women.  As Senator Warren predicted, we fall in to the two income trap.  We would rather have more income for luxuries, savings, and self worth via job satisfaction, health insurance, a safe place to live, the ability to support the family in case of a disaster/death/layoff, sanity, the ability to use our education and training than have one of us stay at home 24/7, because being home 70% of the time is plenty.

Fixed that for you.

Mmm, I don't know. If you replace "poor women" with "poor people", I think it does get at the perniciousness of the two income trap that many people fall into. (I am thinking of the income-rich middle classes who can afford to outsource their lives.) The number of people who say that they wish they could stay home with their children but can't afford to is shocking when you consider that a lot of them are well-compensated professionals who are earning minimum wage after accounting for daycare payments.

However, Penelope Trunk, a controversial but excellent blogger, wrote a lot a few years back about how people don't want to admit that they could afford to stay home with their children but don't want to because being around young children all day sucks. I think it's great when children have stay-at-home parents, but I recognise that is as long at the parent is happy to stay at home and doesn't feel like they would chew their own arm off for some adult company. (And other parents often don't count because it's all child-centric.)

I think my ideal utopian world, though, would have part-time work as well-regarded and appropriately compensated (i.e. not only available for shitty by-the-hour jobs but also for professional work, perhaps as a job share). I think a hardworking, skilled/trained person should be able to support their family (adequate food and shelter, not private school and tropical holidays) on one salary, or on two part-time salaries, and that should be normal and widely available. I think it would be great if everyone could work part-time - I think we'd all be a lot happier. I think it's partly that as a society we teach children to take pride in their career, not to take pride in their family or in doing things for themselves or in their hobbies which don't earn them money. I just wish people could say when they work because they need some time to be an adult rather than a parent and not be accused of basically hating their children, rather than having to pretend it's for other reasons. It would be so nice too if fathers could feel equally free to cut back on their hours or even give up work in order to look after their children without being "less of a man".

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4334 on: May 10, 2016, 02:02:32 PM »

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")


A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

Just have your wife do it. That's what women are for, after all.


That's what poor women are for.  Rich women outsource that to poor women.  As Senator Warren predicted, we fall in to the two income trap.  We would rather have more income for luxuries, savings, and self worth via job satisfaction, health insurance, a safe place to live, the ability to support the family in case of a disaster/death/layoff, sanity, the ability to use our education and training than have one of us stay at home 24/7, because being home 70% of the time is plenty.

Fixed that for you.

Mmm, I don't know. If you replace "poor women" with "poor people", I think it does get at the perniciousness of the two income trap that many people fall into. (I am thinking of the income-rich middle classes who can afford to outsource their lives.) The number of people who say that they wish they could stay home with their children but can't afford to is shocking when you consider that a lot of them are well-compensated professionals who are earning minimum wage after accounting for daycare payments.

However, Penelope Trunk, a controversial but excellent blogger, wrote a lot a few years back about how people don't want to admit that they could afford to stay home with their children but don't want to because being around young children all day sucks. I think it's great when children have stay-at-home parents, but I recognise that is as long at the parent is happy to stay at home and doesn't feel like they would chew their own arm off for some adult company. (And other parents often don't count because it's all child-centric.)

I think my ideal utopian world, though, would have part-time work as well-regarded and appropriately compensated (i.e. not only available for shitty by-the-hour jobs but also for professional work, perhaps as a job share). I think a hardworking, skilled/trained person should be able to support their family (adequate food and shelter, not private school and tropical holidays) on one salary, or on two part-time salaries, and that should be normal and widely available. I think it would be great if everyone could work part-time - I think we'd all be a lot happier. I think it's partly that as a society we teach children to take pride in their career, not to take pride in their family or in doing things for themselves or in their hobbies which don't earn them money. I just wish people could say when they work because they need some time to be an adult rather than a parent and not be accused of basically hating their children, rather than having to pretend it's for other reasons. It would be so nice too if fathers could feel equally free to cut back on their hours or even give up work in order to look after their children without being "less of a man".

It would also be great if fathers received some of the pressure, negative feedback, and criticism that mothers do if for some reason work around the house or yard hasn't been done.

I'm a huge fan of splitting the nasty work evenly, and being stuck in a house with children DOES suck. Nothing about that situation is traditional or natural. Loading all the responsibility for that onto one designated caregiving adult is a form of torture.

In agrarian or hunter/gatherer societies, small children helped with some of the foraging or incidental work around the farm, and they were outside the dwelling. There was also a collective behavior wherein the kids ran around in packs and supervision duties were shared between adults who were willing and able to look out for kids who weren't theirs. Each caregiver wasn't hemmed in with 100% of the responsibility for a few designated recipients and little to no contact with the outside world. There was such thing as reciprocity and exchange. This pattern exists in modern agrarian and hunter/gatherer societies, and it's also supported by the archaeological record. If you take a look at some of the earliest ruins, you'll see how small the living spaces were. People didn't live indoors full-time except briefly during the winter.

randymarsh

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4335 on: May 10, 2016, 08:32:07 PM »
It would be so nice too if fathers could feel equally free to cut back on their hours or even give up work in order to look after their children without being "less of a man".

It would also be great if fathers received some of the pressure, negative feedback, and criticism that mothers do if for some reason work around the house or yard hasn't been done.

Wouldn't it be even better for neither parent to be expected to be a Superman/Superwoman?

I'm all about better work/life balance and making parenthood and professional work more compatible, but I think at a certain point we're deluding ourselves. Can people really clean the house, raise the kids, and be a great CEO/Director/President at the same time? Something has got to give.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4336 on: May 10, 2016, 09:25:22 PM »
It would be so nice too if fathers could feel equally free to cut back on their hours or even give up work in order to look after their children without being "less of a man".

It would also be great if fathers received some of the pressure, negative feedback, and criticism that mothers do if for some reason work around the house or yard hasn't been done.

Wouldn't it be even better for neither parent to be expected to be a Superman/Superwoman?

I'm all about better work/life balance and making parenthood and professional work more compatible, but I think at a certain point we're deluding ourselves. Can people really clean the house, raise the kids, and be a great CEO/Director/President at the same time? Something has got to give.

Uh, that's what mole people are for.  You feed them a steady diet of roots and herbs, and they clean your house, raise your kids, and run your company.  All that's left for you to do is gather the roots and herbs.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4337 on: May 10, 2016, 09:31:44 PM »
Yep the money laundering regs are ridiculous!

We have (like any good mustacians) lots of money. I want to pay some off the mortgage, and they need to see where it came from. So I sent two years of bank statements (that's as long as our last mortgage, and as long as the linked account it's in has been open).

The statement clearly show x going in each month, only y going out each month, resulting in z underspend each month. z timesed by the number of months we've owned the house equals the savings.

But because we brought some savings into this account from a previous savings account (because all like good MMM followers we move the money to where the best rates are) they want statements for that account showing the underspend too... but that account was online only and I closed it 2 years ago, so that I would be eligible for 'new customer' bonuses again. Ahhhh!

I take it you don't download your statements every month?

I do so every month. I never really had a good reason for it other than being OCD...but I guess I now have a reason to do so!
(Sort of. I'm not actually saving up for a house, but better to keep the habit up than to remember oh yeah two years before I want to pay off a mortgage I need to start collecting my statements....)

LOL, same as Johnny!  I just checked my back-up hard drive -- I still have pdfs of E*TRADE statements from 2000 (for an account I closed in 2006), power bills back to 2004, and cable/internet statements beginning in 2007.  Why do I still have all these???  I guess 'cause they don't take up any physical space.

Haha you've got me beat. I've only got statements back till 2011.
Then again I didn't have a bank account until 2009.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4338 on: May 10, 2016, 10:14:39 PM »
In agrarian or hunter/gatherer societies, small children helped with some of the foraging or incidental work around the farm, and they were outside the dwelling. There was also a collective behavior wherein the kids ran around in packs and supervision duties were shared between adults who were willing and able to look out for kids who weren't theirs. Each caregiver wasn't hemmed in with 100% of the responsibility for a few designated recipients and little to no contact with the outside world. There was such thing as reciprocity and exchange. This pattern exists in modern agrarian and hunter/gatherer societies, and it's also supported by the archaeological record. If you take a look at some of the earliest ruins, you'll see how small the living spaces were. People didn't live indoors full-time except briefly during the winter.

One of the ideas I've been trying to float out there and get accepted is for agencies who help the poor to provide a parent childcare match-up service.   Most people don't actually know their neighbors anymore.

So, here's the idea.  People who need childcare register with the agency.    They supply how many children need care, their ages and genders, any special needs, and what hours the care is needed for.  They also supply which hours they themselves would be available to watch children.

The agency puts people in contact with one another along with a background check on the people living in the relevant homes.

It's up to the folks to work out a schedule that works for them.  In effect, they would take turns watching each other's kids. 

If a facility was available, the kids could be watched there rather than in someone's home.

Done properly it would be reasonably safe and could cut childcare costs considerably.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4339 on: May 11, 2016, 12:16:54 AM »

One of the ideas I've been trying to float out there and get accepted is for agencies who help the poor to provide a parent childcare match-up service.   Most people don't actually know their neighbors anymore.

So, here's the idea.  People who need childcare register with the agency.    They supply how many children need care, their ages and genders, any special needs, and what hours the care is needed for.  They also supply which hours they themselves would be available to watch children.

The agency puts people in contact with one another along with a background check on the people living in the relevant homes.

It's up to the folks to work out a schedule that works for them.  In effect, they would take turns watching each other's kids. 

If a facility was available, the kids could be watched there rather than in someone's home.

Done properly it would be reasonably safe and could cut childcare costs considerably.

Great idea. Reminds me of this ridiculous situation where some interfering agencies decided that was illegal in the UK for one person to look after another person's kid's on a reciprocal arrangement:

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2009/sep/28/government-orders-review-babysitting-police

I'm a red panda

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4340 on: May 11, 2016, 08:39:20 AM »
Got invited to a new MLM scheme party.

This time it's clothes.  A "pop up party".

Then I looked into it and found out not only is this stuff fugly (it's all wild prints- that I have never seen anyone wearing anything like this- but I'm sure the women will all go crazy for it, then stuff it in the back of their closet), the consultant has to own the inventory (most MLMs seemed to have moved away from this and drop ship), and the minimum initial investment is $5k.

Brilliant design on the company; but wow, talk about a guaranteed way for most people to lose money.


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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4341 on: May 11, 2016, 08:40:38 AM »

One of the ideas I've been trying to float out there and get accepted is for agencies who help the poor to provide a parent childcare match-up service.   Most people don't actually know their neighbors anymore.

So, here's the idea.  People who need childcare register with the agency.    They supply how many children need care, their ages and genders, any special needs, and what hours the care is needed for.  They also supply which hours they themselves would be available to watch children.

The agency puts people in contact with one another along with a background check on the people living in the relevant homes.

It's up to the folks to work out a schedule that works for them.  In effect, they would take turns watching each other's kids. 

If a facility was available, the kids could be watched there rather than in someone's home.

Done properly it would be reasonably safe and could cut childcare costs considerably.

Great idea. Reminds me of this ridiculous situation where some interfering agencies decided that was illegal in the UK for one person to look after another person's kid's on a reciprocal arrangement:

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2009/sep/28/government-orders-review-babysitting-police

I remember a high school teacher that I was close to my senior year almost freaking out when she found that my parents were out of the country for a few weeks and that I would be home alone. I calmly explained that my neighbors are there and I have 3 pairs of aunts/uncles within a half mile of my house. It actually kinda sucked cause I couldn't throw a party with so many wary eyes....

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4342 on: May 11, 2016, 11:35:55 AM »
Quote
I think my ideal utopian world, though, would have part-time work as well-regarded and appropriately compensated (i.e. not only available for shitty by-the-hour jobs but also for professional work, perhaps as a job share). I think a hardworking, skilled/trained person should be able to support their family (adequate food and shelter, not private school and tropical holidays) on one salary, or on two part-time salaries, and that should be normal and widely available. I think it would be great if everyone could work part-time - I think we'd all be a lot happier. I think it's partly that as a society we teach children to take pride in their career, not to take pride in their family or in doing things for themselves or in their hobbies which don't earn them money. I just wish people could say when they work because they need some time to be an adult rather than a parent and not be accused of basically hating their children, rather than having to pretend it's for other reasons. It would be so nice too if fathers could feel equally free to cut back on their hours or even give up work in order to look after their children without being "less of a man".
Preaching to the choir here.  The best time of my life has been working part time.  I felt like I had the best of both worlds. 

It didn't really matter that I needed to pay for full time childcare.
I would work 6 hours a day, but needed about 7 hours of childcare, which is the same price as 8 or 9 hours. So 75% of the pay for full time child care.

The advantages: wiggle room for those 30 hours a week.  I used MUCH less vacation time.  If I needed time off for the doctor, dentist, sick time, school program (me or the kids), I could take it.  No biggie.  If it was 2 hours, I had 2 whole weeks to make up those hours whenever.  Heck, I could skip lunch 2 days, and there you go.

I could have a leisurely morning with the kid/ kids, AND then get off at 3.  Pick them up at child care/ school, take them to the park, play, do homework, and STILL have time to cook dinner!
At 30 hours, I still got vacation (just less of it) and health insurance.  I was a lot more focused at work because I wasn't exhausted, and got almost as much done.

Unfortunately, *most* tech jobs aren't set up that way, and for no good reason.  Over the last couple of decades, I've just seen companies increase the work load.  The assumption is 50 hours a week.  If you aren't interested in doing that, then you simply aren't dedicated.  You aren't worth whatever your title is, because obviously you don't care enough.  Nevermind that you still have the skills to do the job, and you just only want to do the job for 30 hours.

My husband told me a couple of weeks ago "I can tell I'm middle aged".  I asked "how".  He said "well, despite getting paid a decent amount, I really don't care to work overtime." (and he works in a rare company that pays engineers by the hour - not 1.5x, but if he works 50 hrs, he gets paid for it.)  So his company is super busy with a lot of contracts right now.  He said "I just want to work my 40 and come home and hang out with my family."

We're going to be experimenting for one week this summer - we are skipping a week of summer camp  for the older child (10 yo).  We are going to split the work day and do a little bit of work from home.  We do that occasionally when someone is sick, but there is always the pressure to work more.  I think that's the hardest part - the pressure to do more, the guilt that you aren't doing more.  You know, I've come to realize that unrealistic expectations really aren't my problem.  Sorry, I have a baseball game to get to.  Yes, I will do that project, after these other 5.

And as far as admitting what we want.  I can afford to stay at home.  I admit it all the time.  I do not want to stay at home.  I would *love* to work PT again, but my company and boss will not allow it.  However, I have a very flexible schedule now.  So I work late on the 2x a week that I need to be here for meetings.  And I leave early whenever I want on the other days.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4343 on: May 11, 2016, 12:42:48 PM »
It would also be great if fathers received some of the pressure, negative feedback, and criticism that mothers do if for some reason work around the house or yard hasn't been done.

Most of that criticism comes from other mothers/women.  Let's face it, (some of) you women tend to be horrific to one another.  Whereas if a man doesn't mow his lawn one week, his man neighbors likely think "great Jim didn't mow his lawn so now it won't look bad if I don't mow mine."

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4344 on: May 11, 2016, 01:27:21 PM »
It would also be great if fathers received some of the pressure, negative feedback, and criticism that mothers do if for some reason work around the house or yard hasn't been done.

Most of that criticism comes from other mothers/women.  Let's face it, (some of) you women tend to be horrific to one another.  Whereas if a man doesn't mow his lawn one week, his man neighbors likely think "great Jim didn't mow his lawn so now it won't look bad if I don't mow mine."

It's true that females are vicious to each other, but the vast majority of the undone housework is not visible outside the home. So that's not where the criticism comes from.

Ever hear a kid whine when dinner isn't ready on time or when they're late to a birthday party? How about a working parent who has an important business meeting that day but whose suit is still at the dry cleaner's, or who has just come back from a long day at work to trip over something left in the living room? That's where most of the pressure comes from, and it's directed at the designated housework-doer.

Chris22

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4345 on: May 11, 2016, 01:29:51 PM »
It would also be great if fathers received some of the pressure, negative feedback, and criticism that mothers do if for some reason work around the house or yard hasn't been done.

Most of that criticism comes from other mothers/women.  Let's face it, (some of) you women tend to be horrific to one another.  Whereas if a man doesn't mow his lawn one week, his man neighbors likely think "great Jim didn't mow his lawn so now it won't look bad if I don't mow mine."

It's true that females are vicious to each other, but the vast majority of the undone housework is not visible outside the home. So that's not where the criticism comes from.

Ever hear a kid whine when dinner isn't ready on time or when they're late to a birthday party? How about a working parent who has an important business meeting that day but whose suit is still at the dry cleaner's, or who has just come back from a long day at work to trip over something left in the living room? That's where most of the pressure comes from, and it's directed at the designated housework-doer.

Sounds awfully specific, like maybe it's specific to your home?  Maybe you should take it up with your family, I thought you were referring to the societal pressures placed on women (mostly by other women) to have a perfect home.

vivophoenix

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4346 on: May 11, 2016, 01:33:41 PM »
It would also be great if fathers received some of the pressure, negative feedback, and criticism that mothers do if for some reason work around the house or yard hasn't been done.

Most of that criticism comes from other mothers/women.  Let's face it, (some of) you women tend to be horrific to one another.  Whereas if a man doesn't mow his lawn one week, his man neighbors likely think "great Jim didn't mow his lawn so now it won't look bad if I don't mow mine."
\

i wonder who started the women are so mean to each other myth.

no woman has ever told me, upon meeting, that i should hurry up and have kids before my uterus falls out.

MrMoogle

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4347 on: May 11, 2016, 01:40:39 PM »
Quote
I think my ideal utopian world, though, would have part-time work as well-regarded and appropriately compensated (i.e. not only available for shitty by-the-hour jobs but also for professional work, perhaps as a job share). I think a hardworking, skilled/trained person should be able to support their family (adequate food and shelter, not private school and tropical holidays) on one salary, or on two part-time salaries, and that should be normal and widely available. I think it would be great if everyone could work part-time - I think we'd all be a lot happier. I think it's partly that as a society we teach children to take pride in their career, not to take pride in their family or in doing things for themselves or in their hobbies which don't earn them money. I just wish people could say when they work because they need some time to be an adult rather than a parent and not be accused of basically hating their children, rather than having to pretend it's for other reasons. It would be so nice too if fathers could feel equally free to cut back on their hours or even give up work in order to look after their children without being "less of a man".
My husband told me a couple of weeks ago "I can tell I'm middle aged".  I asked "how".  He said "well, despite getting paid a decent amount, I really don't care to work overtime." (and he works in a rare company that pays engineers by the hour - not 1.5x, but if he works 50 hrs, he gets paid for it.)  So his company is super busy with a lot of contracts right now.  He said "I just want to work my 40 and come home and hang out with my family."
It's funny, where I work, it's the single young people who just want to put in their 40, since they have other things to do, and the income to do it.  The middle aged with families are the ones always volunteering for more hours, as they need more income.

BTDretire

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4348 on: May 11, 2016, 03:22:52 PM »
I used to be OCD like that, and then one day, I just...stopped.  No idea what caused it.  I focus now on making sure I have documentation that I need.  For instance, when I pay something off, I want that receipt.
I learned that lesson 42 years ago. I had taken out a small student loan at the local community college,  it was a minor amount less than $1,000. I had paid it back in full. The receipts, ah, well thrown in a drawer. They came after me asking for payment, I had some receipts but not all. I didn't have the receipt for a $300 payment.
 It was a one on one interview, I insisted I  paid it which I did. A couple weeks later I got a call that the account was closed, she said she found my record of payment in the
next file behind mine. I'll never know for sure if she just believed me or if she truely found the record. I think their system was a bit shoddy.  As was mine, at that time.
Now, I have a file cabinet with folders with many catagories, It is perged at the end of the year and those records are marked with the year and put in a box with previous years.


TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4349 on: May 11, 2016, 09:30:30 PM »
It would also be great if fathers received some of the pressure, negative feedback, and criticism that mothers do if for some reason work around the house or yard hasn't been done.

Most of that criticism comes from other mothers/women.  Let's face it, (some of) you women tend to be horrific to one another.  Whereas if a man doesn't mow his lawn one week, his man neighbors likely think "great Jim didn't mow his lawn so now it won't look bad if I don't mow mine."

It's true that females are vicious to each other, but the vast majority of the undone housework is not visible outside the home. So that's not where the criticism comes from.

Ever hear a kid whine when dinner isn't ready on time or when they're late to a birthday party? How about a working parent who has an important business meeting that day but whose suit is still at the dry cleaner's, or who has just come back from a long day at work to trip over something left in the living room? That's where most of the pressure comes from, and it's directed at the designated housework-doer.

Sounds awfully specific, like maybe it's specific to your home?  Maybe you should take it up with your family, I thought you were referring to the societal pressures placed on women (mostly by other women) to have a perfect home.

I am referring to the societal pressures: when you're confined to the home, the home IS your society. When it's composed of small humans who need your attention now-now-now, as toddlers do, the work really never is finished but when the rest of the population needs or wants something, where do they go? To the full-time caregiver, not the person who just got home from work. That's generally the woman but it's not a truly gender specific thing.

As to my family, I never married so I don't have anyone making an extra mess in my home. Just one teenaged daughter, and I work full-time so she doesn't expect caregiving as such. But of course I'm the one who gets asked what's for dinner, being the adult and all.