Overheard on Facebook

[Dollar Slice]

Can't remember if I've posted this before, but one of my issues about kids who have their own devices or unlimited access to their parents' devices is their sense of entitlement around other adults' phones.

Ugh, yes. At Thanksgiving I was at my brother's house, and I had my phone out a lot because a close friend of mine was in the hospital and I was waiting for news from her husband. I put it on the table in front of me and my nephew (8 years old) just grabbed it and started trying to unlock it, but since it's not an iPhone like his parents have, he didn't know how. He asked me how to unlock it and I said "Hon, I actually don't want you to play with that, it's not a toy. I don't have any games or movies on it for you." And he didn't even look at me, much less put it down, and repeated that he wanted me to tell him how to unlock it while frantically poking at it every which way. Grr.

Still not as bad as the parents I saw on the subway the other day who were letting their infant play with a new iPhone. Barely at the "ooh, pretty flashing colors" stage of smartphone fascination. They kept having to grab it and say "NO!" when she would try to throw it or drop it off the side of the stroller.

[C-note]

A bit of a threadjack - -

As a school district administrator responsible for students with learning differences, we're seeing a lot of kids start kindergarten (5-6 years old) without the necessary language skills.

For example, if you tell them "The ball is under the chair.", they don't know the meaning of under so they can't find the ball.  Positional words seem to be a common deficit.  No research - just a hunch - but the special educators, speech paths, and other educational professionals believe the lack of language is due to the surge in the use of tech devices by babies and toddlers.  They're not getting exposed to language when they're staring at a device.  Studies are underway on how technology affects a child's neuro-connections.  I'm not sure how much press the findings will get outside of the typical "Limit your child's screen time" sound bite on the evening news.   

I cringe when I see a baby or toddler being entertained with a tech device instead of the parent(s) talking and interacting with their child as they make their way through the grocery store or Target or wherever.  Please, parents, talk to your kid!   

[VladTheImpaler]

A bit of a threadjack - -

As a school district administrator responsible for students with learning differences, we're seeing a lot of kids start kindergarten (5-6 years old) without the necessary language skills.

For example, if you tell them "The ball is under the chair.", they don't know the meaning of under so they can't find the ball.  Positional words seem to be a common deficit.  No research - just a hunch - but the special educators, speech paths, and other educational professionals believe the lack of language is due to the surge in use of tech devices by babies and toddlers.  They're not getting exposed to language when they're staring at a device.  Studies are underway on how technology affects a child's neuro-connections.  I'm not sure how much press the findings will get outside of the typical "Limit your child's screen time" sound bite on the evening news.   

I cringe when I see a baby or toddler being entertained with a tech device instead of the parent(s) talking and interacting with their child as they make their way through the grocery store or Target or wherever.  Please, parents, talk to your kid!

That's sad.
Lots of studies have been done on the positive impact that interacting and speaking to your newborn and toddler can have.
Empirical evidence shows that higher achieving students (k-12) had parents (caretakers) that spoke directly to them and OFTEN and read to them often from birth to 5 years old.

[gaja]

A bit of a threadjack - -

As a school district administrator responsible for students with learning differences, we're seeing a lot of kids start kindergarten (5-6 years old) without the necessary language skills.

For example, if you tell them "The ball is under the chair.", they don't know the meaning of under so they can't find the ball.  Positional words seem to be a common deficit.  No research - just a hunch - but the special educators, speech paths, and other educational professionals believe the lack of language is due to the surge in use of tech devices by babies and toddlers.  They're not getting exposed to language when they're staring at a device.  Studies are underway on how technology affects a child's neuro-connections.  I'm not sure how much press the findings will get outside of the typical "Limit your child's screen time" sound bite on the evening news.   

I cringe when I see a baby or toddler being entertained with a tech device instead of the parent(s) talking and interacting with their child as they make their way through the grocery store or Target or wherever.  Please, parents, talk to your kid!

Children with normal hearing will learn to speak, as long as they can hear someone speaking. It is not necessary to speak directly to the kids for them to pick up the basics. The major difference in vocabulary is between the kids who have been exposed to books and those who haven't. Of course, interacting with the child is important on so many other levels, but a hearing child of deaf parents can learn spoken languages perfectly, even if they don't get exposed to them from the parents. And their (sign) language development will often start earlier and be just as strong as hearing children of hearing parents. It is the deaf children of hearing parents who are in trouble.

English is the first language of these children? Unless all those kids are native Finnish or Hungarian speakers, it is probably off topic, but I just find it incredible fascinating how our languages influence us. I'm afraid I've only found this article in Swedish, but if you try google translate it should be possible to understand. It describes how the difference between the languages that use prepositions, and the languages that use grammatical case instead, also influence how the language users view the world, and how they would react to being told there is a ball under a chair: https://svenska.yle.fi/artikel/2016/11/27/den-hapnadsvackande-forklaringen-till-att-inga-norrman-vill-till-finland

[Tjat]

Well, to be fair, I'd qualify my child as a child who has "everything". By which I mean: she has healthy food, pretty and comfortable and seasonally-appropriate clothes, aND enough open-ended imaginative games (doll, play kitchen, wood train, wood blocks, mostly - and we just made her a dollhouse she seems to love) that her time is occupied and she doesn't need more toys, nor do I want more toys as clutter.

She has everything she needs, and doesn't need anything, so... yeah, what DO you get a kid like that?

(And if the answer is anything resembling a tablet for a toddler, or any branded toys that make noise and clutter, the second answer is NO. None of that.)

+1. Meanwhile, my daughter received a 4 foot VTech plastic abomination (aka princess castle) from a well meaning aunt... there is no f'n volume control

I can't stand it that people who buy presents don't clear it with the parents, if not to at least ensure it's not a duplicate. It's getting to the point where I can't even buy presents for my own kid.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Kitsune]

Well, to be fair, I'd qualify my child as a child who has "everything". By which I mean: she has healthy food, pretty and comfortable and seasonally-appropriate clothes, aND enough open-ended imaginative games (doll, play kitchen, wood train, wood blocks, mostly - and we just made her a dollhouse she seems to love) that her time is occupied and she doesn't need more toys, nor do I want more toys as clutter.

She has everything she needs, and doesn't need anything, so... yeah, what DO you get a kid like that?

(And if the answer is anything resembling a tablet for a toddler, or any branded toys that make noise and clutter, the second answer is NO. None of that.)

+1. Meanwhile, my daughter received a 4 foot VTech plastic abomination (aka princess castle) from a well meaning aunt... there is no f'n volume control

I can't stand it that people who buy presents don't clear it with the parents, if not to at least ensure it's not a duplicate. It's getting to the point where I can't even buy presents for my own kid.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Oh god. Huge space-taking presents that make noise and have no volume control. Parental nightmare... like at least check that there's storage space first, for crying out loud!!

[kayvent]

I'm not sure why a kid needs a smartphone. Most kids are around safe adults (teachers at school, parents at home, teachers/coaches at sports/other activities) and can always ask the adult to look up something online or call parents if needed. Why do they need a phone? Even kids that travel alone (maybe a teen that takes a public train or bus) at best needs a dumb phone. Why do they need a smartphone? And tablets are even worse.

To add, almost all kids I know have laptops or Chromebooks for school work. So I'm not sure why a smartphone is needed. I'm genuinely curious

Perhaps this is a generational divide but I have to be on the dissent. A modern smartphone is far more useful to a young individual than a laptop or Chromebook.

You can use it as a GPS, to text, to call, to read books, to read online blogs, to send & receive e-mail, social media, write essay or do school reports, work on math worth, play games, do research for a school paper, record a receipt (ex. for budgeting), and much more. All that, in your pocket. I'd rather my child have a portable phone than a 'useless brick' laptop that has much less utility.

[firelight]

One advantage of living in a condominium is that we don't have space for such toys. People are more hesitant to buy large sized toys and even if they do, we donate/sell/return it without any guilt. Also cuts way down on marital conflict (your sister gave this gift and you want kid to have it? Sorry honey! It's not me throwing it out because it came from her, it's the house, we don't have any space remember?)

[Kitsune]

I'm not sure why a kid needs a smartphone. Most kids are around safe adults (teachers at school, parents at home, teachers/coaches at sports/other activities) and can always ask the adult to look up something online or call parents if needed. Why do they need a phone? Even kids that travel alone (maybe a teen that takes a public train or bus) at best needs a dumb phone. Why do they need a smartphone? And tablets are even worse.

To add, almost all kids I know have laptops or Chromebooks for school work. So I'm not sure why a smartphone is needed. I'm genuinely curious

Perhaps this is a generational divide but I have to be on the dissent. A modern smartphone is far more useful to a young individual than a laptop or Chromebook.

You can use it as a GPS, to text, to call, to read books, to read online blogs, to send & receive e-mail, social media, write essay or do school reports, work on math worth, play games, do research for a school paper, record a receipt (ex. for budgeting), and much more. All that, in your pocket. I'd rather my child have a portable phone than a 'useless brick' laptop that has much less utility.

For a, say, 12-year-old: absolutely. Right there with you. For a 5-7-year-old... eeeeenh.

At the very least, I'd like my kid to be old enough and have enough acquired media sensitivity to be able to avoid active influence by ads, budget reasonably, read books that aren't mostly images (that don't translate well to phone screens), etc.

And, frankly, if my kid is gonna find porn on the internet, I'd like it to be because they're old enough to go looking for it, not young enough to be horrified by it.

[With This Herring]

*snip*
For example, if you tell them "The ball is under the chair.", they don't know the meaning of under so they can't find the ball.  Positional words seem to be a common deficit.
*snip*

*snip*
English is the first language of these children? Unless all those kids are native Finnish or Hungarian speakers, it is probably off topic, but I just find it incredible fascinating how our languages influence us. I'm afraid I've only found this article in Swedish, but if you try google translate it should be possible to understand. It describes how the difference between the languages that use prepositions, and the languages that use grammatical case instead, also influence how the language users view the world, and how they would react to being told there is a ball under a chair: https://svenska.yle.fi/artikel/2016/11/27/den-hapnadsvackande-forklaringen-till-att-inga-norrman-vill-till-finland

I just tried to read this article via Google Translate.  It worked to some degree to get most of the Swedish of the bulk of the page translated, but it helped to have a second tab of Google Translate open to translate the Finnish words, which Google left in Finnish in the article.

The article was fascinating, though I do not understand very much of it.

[Playing with Fire UK]

+1. Meanwhile, my daughter received a 4 foot VTech plastic abomination (aka princess castle) from a well meaning aunt... there is no f'n volume control

I can't stand it that people who buy presents don't clear it with the parents, if not to at least ensure it's not a duplicate. It's getting to the point where I can't even buy presents for my own kid.

Can you put tape over the speakers until it is a reasonable volume?

Or would that be a waste when it is on it's way out the door?

[Tjat]

+1. Meanwhile, my daughter received a 4 foot VTech plastic abomination (aka princess castle) from a well meaning aunt... there is no f'n volume control

I can't stand it that people who buy presents don't clear it with the parents, if not to at least ensure it's not a duplicate. It's getting to the point where I can't even buy presents for my own kid.

Can you put tape over the speakers until it is a reasonable volume?

Or would that be a waste when it is on it's way out the door?

Hmm, I was too irritated at the thing to even consider that. I'm currently negotiating to donate it, but if I fail (because I'm told the gift giver will be upset and offended if we donate) I'll be sure to do that!

On a related note, why does the gift giver deserve to be offended if her gift is donated? If anything, I'd be mortified and apologetic if I gave someone such a gargantuan and unwanted item.

If the consensus is being offended is okay, what is the gift threshold before this becomes not okay? For instance, if I framed a used tissue and gave it to someone in the name of art, would that person be pressured to keep it under the same premise?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Megma]

+1. Meanwhile, my daughter received a 4 foot VTech plastic abomination (aka princess castle) from a well meaning aunt... there is no f'n volume control

I can't stand it that people who buy presents don't clear it with the parents, if not to at least ensure it's not a duplicate. It's getting to the point where I can't even buy presents for my own kid.

Can you put tape over the speakers until it is a reasonable volume?

Or would that be a waste when it is on it's way out the door?

Hmm, I was too irritated at the thing to even consider that. I'm currently negotiating to donate it, but if I fail (because I'm told the gift giver will be upset and offended if we donate) I'll be sure to do that!

On a related note, why does the gift giver deserve to be offended if her gift is donated? If anything, I'd be mortified and apologetic if I gave someone such a gargantuan and unwanted item.

If the consensus is being offended is okay, what is the gift threshold before this becomes not okay? For instance, if I framed a used tissue and gave it to someone in the name of art, would that person be pressured to keep it under the same premise?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Will she realistically know you got rid of it right away? Is she at your house regularly enough that she'd notice a toy was gone?

Honestly, I'd never notice if something i gave my nephew had been donated. I live too far away and he has too much crap. Granted i got him one small lego set for xmas which is now mixed in with his others.

Even if she does notice the toy could be "at grandma's" right now.

[Kitsune]

+1. Meanwhile, my daughter received a 4 foot VTech plastic abomination (aka princess castle) from a well meaning aunt... there is no f'n volume control

I can't stand it that people who buy presents don't clear it with the parents, if not to at least ensure it's not a duplicate. It's getting to the point where I can't even buy presents for my own kid.

Can you put tape over the speakers until it is a reasonable volume?

Or would that be a waste when it is on it's way out the door?

Hmm, I was too irritated at the thing to even consider that. I'm currently negotiating to donate it, but if I fail (because I'm told the gift giver will be upset and offended if we donate) I'll be sure to do that!

On a related note, why does the gift giver deserve to be offended if her gift is donated? If anything, I'd be mortified and apologetic if I gave someone such a gargantuan and unwanted item.

If the consensus is being offended is okay, what is the gift threshold before this becomes not okay? For instance, if I framed a used tissue and gave it to someone in the name of art, would that person be pressured to keep it under the same premise?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

If it helps at all - someone donating a gift I give would upset me in the sense that it would indicate that I had chosen wrongly, given something they didn't like, made a social misstep, or something like that. It's basically a highlight of a bad choice that demonstrates a lack of knowledge of the person I'd be trying to please, and that's embarassing/awkward, and I'd feel bad.

THAT said. Feeling bad after missteping is normal and natural, and happens, and dealing with it is something most people should learn as toddlers and preschoolers (right up there with "sometimes you are not invited to a thing other people are going to" and "feeling bad when you hurt someone is ok. Now go apologize and make it better." Basic life lessons, yo.) Outsourcing your emotional care to others is bullshit. I, personally,  might feel bad about choosing a "wrong" gift, but that's a sign to do better/different next time, not that they're responsible for coddling my emotions and pretending I did good.

Does that make sense?

(That said. If an adult has not yet learned their own emotional coping mechanisms, and are outsourcing the coddling of emotions to the point where it's a socially expected thing to do, there will be social consequences for not falling in line with the family expectations. It's bullshit, and not right, but you'll have to deal with them anyway. Sorry.)

[Playing with Fire UK]

+1. Meanwhile, my daughter received a 4 foot VTech plastic abomination (aka princess castle) from a well meaning aunt... there is no f'n volume control

I can't stand it that people who buy presents don't clear it with the parents, if not to at least ensure it's not a duplicate. It's getting to the point where I can't even buy presents for my own kid.

Can you put tape over the speakers until it is a reasonable volume?

Or would that be a waste when it is on it's way out the door?

Hmm, I was too irritated at the thing to even consider that. I'm currently negotiating to donate it, but if I fail (because I'm told the gift giver will be upset and offended if we donate) I'll be sure to do that!

On a related note, why does the gift giver deserve to be offended if her gift is donated? If anything, I'd be mortified and apologetic if I gave someone such a gargantuan and unwanted item.

If the consensus is being offended is okay, what is the gift threshold before this becomes not okay? For instance, if I framed a used tissue and gave it to someone in the name of art, would that person be pressured to keep it under the same premise?

No freakin clue on what others consider acceptable. I would prefer that someone told me it was unsuitable and asked me if I preferred to return it or have it donated.

Like, if a friend asks for $10, I'll give it to them, but if they then shred it because they wanted to listen to the sound I'd be annoyed. I'd understand philosophically that I'd given a gift and they are free to do what they want with it, but I'd feel bad about it.

[StiffUpperLip]

Yup. Despite talking on many recent occasions to family about us trying to declutter our house, Christmas rolls round and what do the grandparents give our 4 yr old? A 4 foot tall remote control crane!!!

We thought we had it covered as he's become very interested in gardening of late so when asked I suggested some tools... So they did get the kid a watering can, trowel and gloves... Why oh why the crane aswell?

(#ungrateful)

[Psychstache]

A bit of a threadjack - -

As a school district administrator responsible for students with learning differences, we're seeing a lot of kids start kindergarten (5-6 years old) without the necessary language skills.

For example, if you tell them "The ball is under the chair.", they don't know the meaning of under so they can't find the ball.  Positional words seem to be a common deficit.  No research - just a hunch - but the special educators, speech paths, and other educational professionals believe the lack of language is due to the surge in the use of tech devices by babies and toddlers.  They're not getting exposed to language when they're staring at a device.  Studies are underway on how technology affects a child's neuro-connections.  I'm not sure how much press the findings will get outside of the typical "Limit your child's screen time" sound bite on the evening news.   

I cringe when I see a baby or toddler being entertained with a tech device instead of the parent(s) talking and interacting with their child as they make their way through the grocery store or Target or wherever.  Please, parents, talk to your kid!

There is an awesome book on this subject that you may enjoy called '30 million words'. It is written by a former cochlear implant surgeon who saw big differences in language development based on the age of the child when they get the implant. It has great recommendations about language exposure for infants and toddlers.

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[CindyBS]

I'm not sure why a kid needs a smartphone. Most kids are around safe adults (teachers at school, parents at home, teachers/coaches at sports/other activities) and can always ask the adult to look up something online or call parents if needed. Why do they need a phone? Even kids that travel alone (maybe a teen that takes a public train or bus) at best needs a dumb phone. Why do they need a smartphone? And tablets are even worse.

To add, almost all kids I know have laptops or Chromebooks for school work. So I'm not sure why a smartphone is needed. I'm genuinely curious

My boys are 11 and 13.  The 13 year old got an old smart phone when he started 6th grade and had a 25 minute walk to school.  Unfortunately, there are no payphones any more so a phone is a must these days, sigh.  I had thought about a dumb phone, but all the dumb phones my plan was offering were designed for old people with giant buttons and no texting.  I bought a very old smart phone, mostly b/c I thought we would text.  His phone has to be turned off for school, so I hoped I could shoot him a text during the day, he would turn on phone right after school and see it.  Things like "Cross country was cancelled tonight, just come home".  What really happened is that he keeps his phone off 99% of the time and then turns it on when he wants to call someone.

The older boy lost his phone, so I got him an old model smartphone (still hoping to get him to text).  Then we found it two weeks later and I gave the original phone to my 11 year old who just started walking to a new school building 20 minutes away.  He also won't text.   

My 13 year old has cancer, and we did buy him a tablet for all the times he sits in chemo, the hospital and the like.  We will not buy one for our other son and would not have bought one for the 13 year old if he had not gotten sick.    He does get a Chromebook for school work, but has to turn it into the school in the summer, so no personal computing device in the summer.

I have consumer cellular and pay about $45/month for service for their phones and mine.  We share a pool of data.

[Just Joe]

I guess a new arcade opened up at the Mall of America. There's people on FB gushing about it.

It looks like a single go-kart ride costs $23, though there are probably packages or other ways to make the per ride cost lower. Virtual reality games cost $5 each. I can see this as being a money maker as there are plenty of people that will throw down money for such things.

The guy behind this is has opened up 5 in various malls in India, this is his first venture into the US. I give him credit for the investment.

You can OWN a used go-cart for ~$150 from a garage sale...

In honor of "Rogue One,"

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/ca919506-0146-4cd1-892e-3b9451affc84

I could fly a go-cart really well back when. No seat belts, no roll bars, and we'd drift it all over the place on a tar and chip country road. Fun toy good for giggle and some very genuine fear from time to time. Always fun getting zapped by the spark plug trying to switch off the engine. THAT was done with a little metal tab that grounded/shorted the ignition spark to the engine block. A wooden stick or a little juvenile focus and it could be done safely.

These days? I don't fit in the average go-cart very well... ;)

[horsepoor]

Opinions on these food prices?  Sawesome on FBT and most comments were that the grocery  prices were unrealistic, or would require  driving all over town ( though clearly all labels are Walmart store brand)

Eta:  this should be raw ingredients for chicken and mashed potatoes, would be cheaper....

[4alpacas]

Opinions on these food prices?  Sawesome on FBT and most comments were that the grocery  prices were unrealistic, or would require  driving all over town ( though clearly all labels are Walmart store brand)

Eta:  this should be raw ingredients for chicken and mashed potatoes, would be cheaper....

The prices are cheaper than what I can find in my area, but I think the point is valid.  You can buy a lot of minimally processed food for the amount of money that people spend on fast food. 

[dragoncar]

Totally unrealistic in my area.  Of course, it's still a way better deal to buy the raw ingredients.  It's just not as good as shown.  Fresh corn for example is like 4x more expensive.

[I'm a red panda]

We shop Walmart grocery near daily. The meats cost twice what is listed. The corn is that price only at peak summer season when they buy from local farmers, potatoes that would be a sale price, but fairly regularly.

DH estimated typically that would be $10-15 morevthan what's listed.

[Inaya]

Opinions on these food prices?  Sawesome on FBT and most comments were that the grocery  prices were unrealistic, or would require  driving all over town ( though clearly all labels are Walmart store brand)

Eta:  this should be raw ingredients for chicken and mashed potatoes, would be cheaper....

Totally unrealistic here as well. Especially the meat/fruit. That would be closer to, hmmm, $30-35?

[gimp]

Bay area:

- 2 pounds of chicken for $2: which cuts? Chicken breasts are probably no less than $2.50/lb, but bone-in chicken thighs+drumsticks are probably found on sale for $0.89/lb. Let's assume that. Check.
- 10 pounds potatoes for $3: check. Absolutely.
- 8 ears corn for $2: no idea. During corn season... probably?
- 1 pound peaches for $1: no idea. During peach season... probably?
- 1 gallon skim milk for $2: unlikely; I feel like it'll be more like $3. I don't buy skim milk. Why would I pay to have less milk in my fucking milk?
- 1 pound 96% lean ground beef for $3: absolutely not. $3 gets you 80%, or 75%. 96% is like six bucks. But 96% kind of sucks. Don't buy 96%. 80% is great for most dishes. Best for burgers anyways.
- Two pounds of yogurt for $2.25: no idea. I don't buy yogurt. Why does the author need to be so specific? Generic yogurt is fine, fuck your "99% fat free yoplait."
- 18 oz oats for $1 and change: yeah absolutely. But you should be buying the five pound jars, or bigger. Cheaper.
- 2 lb frozen sweet peas or other veg for $2: yep.
- 1 pound dried beans for $1.25: yep. Actually I pay more like 90 cents.

TL;DR

The author of that image is a weirdo. Mixes generic cheap food with really specific branded food. If I had one bit of advice, it'd be this:

FAT IS HEALTHY. In moderation. It's a necessary part of our diet. Don't cut out fats. Stop buying skim milk and "99% fat-free" yogurt (fucking lel - that's like calling 1% milk 99% fat-free milk. Get the fuck out.)

But otherwise, when buying normal food instead of fat-free fancy pants branded crap, the prices are about right for the bay area.

[kayvent]

You funny Americans and your silly grocery prices. I'd feel jealous if our prices were anywhere close to yours.

Chicken (2lb): Over 11 CAD when on sale.
Potatoes (10lb): 4 CAD
Corn (8 ears): ~2.5
Peaches (1LB): ~2.5
1 Gallon Skim Milk: 4 litres would be 8$.
Ground Beef (1LB): Normally 4-6

32-ounch of Yoplait: 5.99
Oats: ?No idea?
Frozen Sweet Peas (2LB): 4-6
Dried Kidney beans: 2

What do you Americans do with milk? Bathe in it? Oddly enough, the KFC is the same price.

[I'm a red panda]

Man food in the Bay Area is cheap.

[ShoulderThingThatGoesUp]

Yeah, those prices are optimistic but achievable (except for milk) here.

Pennsylvania sets a minimum price for milk. What the hell is with that?

[Kitsune]

Yeah, those prices are optimistic but achievable (except for milk) here.

Pennsylvania sets a minimum price for milk. What the hell is with that?

Quebec too. And it's over 6$/gallon.

On the plus side, we have a well-regulated milk industry with (fairly) well-treated animals and no growth hormones, so...

[zolotiyeruki]

Opinions on these food prices?  Sawesome on FBT and most comments were that the grocery  prices were unrealistic, or would require  driving all over town ( though clearly all labels are Walmart store brand)

Eta:  this should be raw ingredients for chicken and mashed potatoes, would be cheaper....

Those prices are all reasonable if you're shopping in season (for peaches) and price match local ads.  I know, because my wife does the price matching :)

Yeah, those prices are optimistic but achievable (except for milk) here.

Pennsylvania sets a minimum price for milk. What the hell is with that?

It's not just PA.  The federal government has had price controls on milk for over a century.  Absolute stupidity IMO.

[I'm a red panda]

Those prices are all reasonable if you're shopping in season (for peaches) and price match local ads.  I know, because my wife does the price matching :)

Do you use savings catcher? Walmart price matches local stores for you. We get money back all the time.

[Taran Wanderer]

It's not just PA.  The federal government has had price controls on milk for over a century.  Absolute stupidity IMO.

Not really. Milk is highly perishable and pretty much has to be processed within 48 hours of coming out of the cow. And processed milk that will be sold as fluid milk (instead of something less perishable like ice cream or cheese or butter or powder) has to be closely matched to demand to avoid spoilage from over-production. By creating different classes of milk with higher to lower prices, the various federal orders around the country seek to balance supply and demand and keep both farmers and processors reasonably healthy. It does this by reducing violent price swings. It's nota perfect system, but it is more sustainable for the parties involved than an unregulated market. That's why it continues to survive. 

[dragoncar]

Man food in the Bay Area is cheap.

It's not the cheapest, but it's my go to example of how "cost of living" really doesn't multiply all your costs by the same amount.  The Bay Area is primarily expensive for housing and also for services (because those workers need to buy housing).  Commodities like food and consumer goods really aren't more expensive in general.

[frooglepoodle]

Man food in the Bay Area is cheap.

It's not the cheapest, but it's my go to example of how "cost of living" really doesn't multiply all your costs by the same amount.  The Bay Area is primarily expensive for housing and also for services (because those workers need to buy housing).  Commodities like food and consumer goods really aren't more expensive in general.

The Bay Area is also relatively close to where a lot of produce is grown. Transportation costs matter.

[horsepoor]

What do you Americans do with milk? Bathe in it? Oddly enough, the KFC is the same price.

Seriously.  As mentioned, it's subsidized, and people have been brainwashed to believe that children must drink glasses of it like multiple times per day or their bones will turn to dust instead of growing properly.  Also, it takes a lot of milk to eat half a box of sugary breakfast cereal at a sitting.

The author of that image is a weirdo. Mixes generic cheap food with really specific branded food. If I had one bit of advice, it'd be this:

FAT IS HEALTHY. In moderation. It's a necessary part of our diet. Don't cut out fats. Stop buying skim milk and "99% fat-free" yogurt (fucking lel - that's like calling 1% milk 99% fat-free milk. Get the fuck out.)

Notice the SparkPeople logo in the bottom right; they push the usual ADA low fat guidelines for the most part.  I suppose that's why they're buying boneless, skinless chicken instead of whole chicken or thighs/wings (which would be more in line with the quoted price per pound).  Full fat dairy is usually the same price as reduced fat though, so it would make sense to buy the full fat stuff if you can find it.

[BTDretire]

I guess a new arcade opened up at the Mall of America. There's people on FB gushing about it.

It looks like a single go-kart ride costs $23, though there are probably packages or other ways to make the per ride cost lower. Virtual reality games cost $5 each. I can see this as being a money maker as there are plenty of people that will throw down money for such things.

The guy behind this is has opened up 5 in various malls in India, this is his first venture into the US. I give him credit for the investment.

You can OWN a used go-cart for ~$150 from a garage sale...

In honor of "Rogue One,"

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/ca919506-0146-4cd1-892e-3b9451affc84

I could fly a go-cart really well back when.

Flying gokart, no, this is better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlR-_QaMamc

[somers515]

+1. Meanwhile, my daughter received a 4 foot VTech plastic abomination (aka princess castle) from a well meaning aunt... there is no f'n volume control

I can't stand it that people who buy presents don't clear it with the parents, if not to at least ensure it's not a duplicate. It's getting to the point where I can't even buy presents for my own kid.

Can you put tape over the speakers until it is a reasonable volume?

Or would that be a waste when it is on it's way out the door?

Hmm, I was too irritated at the thing to even consider that. I'm currently negotiating to donate it, but if I fail (because I'm told the gift giver will be upset and offended if we donate) I'll be sure to do that!

On a related note, why does the gift giver deserve to be offended if her gift is donated? If anything, I'd be mortified and apologetic if I gave someone such a gargantuan and unwanted item.

If the consensus is being offended is okay, what is the gift threshold before this becomes not okay? For instance, if I framed a used tissue and gave it to someone in the name of art, would that person be pressured to keep it under the same premise?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

If it helps at all - someone donating a gift I give would upset me in the sense that it would indicate that I had chosen wrongly, given something they didn't like, made a social misstep, or something like that. It's basically a highlight of a bad choice that demonstrates a lack of knowledge of the person I'd be trying to please, and that's embarassing/awkward, and I'd feel bad.

THAT said. Feeling bad after missteping is normal and natural, and happens, and dealing with it is something most people should learn as toddlers and preschoolers (right up there with "sometimes you are not invited to a thing other people are going to" and "feeling bad when you hurt someone is ok. Now go apologize and make it better." Basic life lessons, yo.) Outsourcing your emotional care to others is bullshit. I, personally,  might feel bad about choosing a "wrong" gift, but that's a sign to do better/different next time, not that they're responsible for coddling my emotions and pretending I did good.

Does that make sense?

(That said. If an adult has not yet learned their own emotional coping mechanisms, and are outsourcing the coddling of emotions to the point where it's a socially expected thing to do, there will be social consequences for not falling in line with the family expectations. It's bullshit, and not right, but you'll have to deal with them anyway. Sorry.)

We struggle with this in my marriage. I was raised where a gift is based on the good intention and if it's a miss(size, style, or just not interested) that's not a big deal. Receipts are easily surrendered and the gift giver just wants to know that you got something you actually wanted. Way more important that the gift recipient wants/will use the gift.
My husband's family is not like this. Gifts must be kept forever and ever. We just received an electric fireplace from my in-laws and my husband is so worried about what will happen when his parents visit in May. Nevermind that the fireplace is enormous and we have no open wall space to place it, and that it goes against the confines of our leasing agreement. Thankfully it was ordered via amazon and we are able to get credit for it without his mom being informed. I think we'll say it's being stored at my parents attic until we buy a house at which point, hopefully they will have forgotten about it.

Even though this is a common route to go and you are being put in a difficult situation by your husband's family's approach to gifts, my suggestion is to try not to lie as keeping track of lies can be exhausting and creates lack of trust.  This is a really good read: https://www.samharris.org/lying.  Your story made me think you might find this book helpful.

[Malum Prohibitum]

We shop Walmart grocery near daily. The meats cost twice what is listed.

  My wife beats those meat prices consistently.  She is always comparing Aldi, Walmart, Kroger, Publix to get the best deal, which is good, because we eat a lot of it.

[Malum Prohibitum]

What do you Americans do with milk?

  I flavor my hot tea with it!
I know the American Founding Fathers would roll over in their graves, but . . .

[Friar]

What do you Americans do with milk?

  I flavor my hot tea with it!
I know the American Founding Fathers would roll over in their graves, but . . .

This is the best use for milk.

I've pretty much switched to almond "milk" now, but I've yet to find anything better in tea than dairy milk!

[I'm a red panda]

We shop Walmart grocery near daily. The meats cost twice what is listed.

  My wife beats those meat prices consistently.  She is always comparing Aldi, Walmart, Kroger, Publix to get the best deal, which is good, because we eat a lot of it.

There are better deals on meat, but that isn't the list price for the package shown. You'd have to consistently get everything on sale to meet the prices in that photo. That's not likely to all happen in one shopping trip.

 Which makes it an unrealistic comparison, because why not use a KFC coupon too?

[dragoncar]

My wife beats those meat prices consistently. 

Nice

[mustachepungoeshere]

Tee hee...

[mm1970]

Man food in the Bay Area is cheap.

It's not the cheapest, but it's my go to example of how "cost of living" really doesn't multiply all your costs by the same amount.  The Bay Area is primarily expensive for housing and also for services (because those workers need to buy housing).  Commodities like food and consumer goods really aren't more expensive in general.

The Bay Area is also relatively close to where a lot of produce is grown. Transportation costs matter.

I live in So Cal, near where it's grown too.  I have found that most produce is cheaper "back home" in western PA or upstate NY. 

It's fresher here, but cheaper there because of overhead.  Minimum wage is higher, rent on the space is higher.

One of our newspaper writers wrote an article several years ago.  It was prime strawberry season, one of our two biggest crops.  He went to visit family in Atlanta, saw strawberries at the store labeled "Santa Maria Strawberries" and they were cheaper than they were here, ever.

What the Bay Area has going for it is competition.  Large area, more stores would be my guess.  We don't have a Walmart here, but we did get a 99c store and we have some Mexican stores.  These places are in low-rent districts with crappy parking.

On the photo of food: it's off by about $10 I'd say.  Meat mostly is more expensive. Milk off by about $1.  Instead of $20 it would be $30-32.

[BFGirl]

I'm not sure why a kid needs a smartphone. Most kids are around safe adults (teachers at school, parents at home, teachers/coaches at sports/other activities) and can always ask the adult to look up something online or call parents if needed. Why do they need a phone? Even kids that travel alone (maybe a teen that takes a public train or bus) at best needs a dumb phone. Why do they need a smartphone? And tablets are even worse.

To add, almost all kids I know have laptops or Chromebooks for school work. So I'm not sure why a smartphone is needed. I'm genuinely curious

I got my daughter a phone when she and her brother started walking home to our house with some other kids.  I wanted her to be able to have access to a phone for safety reasons.  My son had one at age 9 for the same reason (his sister was no longer walking with him as she was in junior high by then).  But they had flip phones and didn't get smartphones until several years later.

[Gin1984]

Opinions on these food prices?  Sawesome on FBT and most comments were that the grocery  prices were unrealistic, or would require  driving all over town ( though clearly all labels are Walmart store brand)

Eta:  this should be raw ingredients for chicken and mashed potatoes, would be cheaper....

I lived in bay area and now am in WNY, in neither place could I get all of that, even in season for $20.

[MrMoogle]

Opinions on these food prices?  Sawesome on FBT and most comments were that the grocery  prices were unrealistic, or would require  driving all over town ( though clearly all labels are Walmart store brand)

Eta:  this should be raw ingredients for chicken and mashed potatoes, would be cheaper....

I lived in bay area and now am in WNY, in neither place could I get all of that, even in season for $20.

Maybe it's an old photo?  I don't know where you can get chicken breasts at $1/lb.  At Walmart, I get 5lbs for $10, and it's only that cheap because it's the big size.  Normally its $3/lb.  Even in season, peaches are usually $1.50/lb.  The rest is either about right or I don't know.  My COL is pretty low too. 

[zolotiyeruki]

Opinions on these food prices?  Sawesome on FBT and most comments were that the grocery  prices were unrealistic, or would require  driving all over town ( though clearly all labels are Walmart store brand)

Eta:  this should be raw ingredients for chicken and mashed potatoes, would be cheaper....

I lived in bay area and now am in WNY, in neither place could I get all of that, even in season for $20.

Maybe it's an old photo?  I don't know where you can get chicken breasts at $1/lb.  At Walmart, I get 5lbs for $10, and it's only that cheap because it's the big size.  Normally its $3/lb.  Even in season, peaches are usually $1.50/lb.  The rest is either about right or I don't know.  My COL is pretty low too.

The $2-3/lb chicken sounds like it's frozen.  We only recently noticed that the fresh chicken breasts tend to be less expensive.  And price matching goes a *long* way.

[dragoncar]

Opinions on these food prices?  Sawesome on FBT and most comments were that the grocery  prices were unrealistic, or would require  driving all over town ( though clearly all labels are Walmart store brand)

Eta:  this should be raw ingredients for chicken and mashed potatoes, would be cheaper....

I lived in bay area and now am in WNY, in neither place could I get all of that, even in season for $20.

Maybe it's an old photo?  I don't know where you can get chicken breasts at $1/lb.  At Walmart, I get 5lbs for $10, and it's only that cheap because it's the big size.  Normally its $3/lb.  Even in season, peaches are usually $1.50/lb.  The rest is either about right or I don't know.  My COL is pretty low too.

The $2-3/lb chicken sounds like it's frozen.  We only recently noticed that the fresh chicken breasts tend to be less expensive.  And price matching goes a *long* way.

My local grocery store has "fresh" chicken breasts for $1.50-2.50/lb, depending on the sale.  Maybe it's previously frozen, I don't know.  Costco has it for like $2.30/lb so sometimes "fresh" is cheaper

[bebegirl]

One more for from my fb conversation:

Friend: we pay $250/$300 for Direct TV

Me: ???! Why so expansive?!

Friend: my husband watches sports and only Direct TV gives Sunday tickets!

Me: what is sunday ticket??

Friend: watching live all basketball and football teams

Me: $300 *12 This is $3600 per year! This is tickets to Italy and much more for your vacation lol! I would definitely stop watching that "sunday ticket", sign up to gym instead -to go in for sports myself -and then leave for a nice vacation or invest lol

Friend: gym and watching live is different! It is very important for my husband.

Me: (deep sigh)