Overheard on Facebook

[marty998]

I suspect that in many cases, it's a generational thing. My parents very much followed the traditional split of responsibilities--he brought home the bacon, and she ran the household. He never cooked, and could barely follow a recipe.  A lot changed after he retired :)

He had to cook his own bacon? :)

[OtherJen]

I suspect that in many cases, it's a generational thing. My parents very much followed the traditional split of responsibilities--he brought home the bacon, and she ran the household. He never cooked, and could barely follow a recipe.  A lot changed after he retired :)

My husband grew up like this.  His sisters learned to cook and he didn't because he's a boy.  However he moved out of home at 18 and now we have 2 kids to feed in addition to ourselves.  We both work full time but his hours are more flexible so he often does the shopping and cooking. It's not rocket science. If he doesn't know how to cook something he Google recipes.

Sounds like my parents. My mom had to learn to cook when my grandfather went on medical disability and my grandma went to work. God forbid that her brothers learned any kitchen skills. Her younger brother took cooking classes as an adult and hosted some memorably delicious family holiday meals, but her older brother remains stymied by anything more complex than a sandwich (his wife never worked outside the home).

My dad grew up in a Mexican immigrant household with strict gender roles, and my grandmother’s cooking was legendary. Although he liked to be in the kitchen with his mom (dad was the youngest son and a mama’s boy), she never actually let him do the work. Retirement has been good for him because he’s discovered that he’s actually a good cook and now does all cooking and grocery shopping (mom still works full time). Google and YouTube have been huge helps; if he doesn’t know how to do something, he looks up a video.

[dragoncar]

I know an older guy who can't/doesn't cook - when his wife goes away she leaves meals for him. But what really blew me away was that what she leaves is sandwiches, on plates, with plastic wrap over them. Because his level of can't cook is such that he can't warm up a casserole or make his own sandwich. So crazy, esp because this is a man who machined me a new gear for my stand mixer, and made a stair railing for a neighbor. Cooking is harder than metalwork, I guess? People are so endlessly fascinating.

Usually won’t, not can’t.  That said, cooking does take practice to become proficient.  I feel like I didn’t learn to cook until after I was FI.  Before that I was passable, but I just didn’t have the time to really refine my instincts

[Tempname23]

Anyways I am not going to make the same mistake and shoo my kids out of the kitchen.

  I have a different regret, I didn't teach my son all the home repair knowledge I picked up from my father.
If I have the desire I can do almost any home repair needed, I also can do electrical/electronic repairs as needed.
 I did give my daughter some of that knowledge, she was about three years older, but my son was always on his computer and I didn't want to bother him. I now wish I had made him get involved in some of those home repairs.
  A few days ago while doing some of the repairs needed after hurricane Micheal, I was using a sawzall that I got from my dad when he died 15 years ago, I got emotional just thinking about all the things that he passed along to me just doing things that needed doing around the house. He was a carpenter by trade. I'm 63 years old and still
thinking about what dad taught me when I was young. Thanks Dad!

[mm1970]

I suspect that in many cases, it's a generational thing. My parents very much followed the traditional split of responsibilities--he brought home the bacon, and she ran the household. He never cooked, and could barely follow a recipe.  A lot changed after he retired :)

My husband grew up like this.  His sisters learned to cook and he didn't because he's a boy.  However he moved out of home at 18 and now we have 2 kids to feed in addition to ourselves.  We both work full time but his hours are more flexible so he often does the shopping and cooking. It's not rocket science. If he doesn't know how to cook something he Google recipes.

I can see this.  My parents had a similar division of labor.  When they divorced, my dad started cooking, and he was quite good at it.

I never learned to cook.  I helped out every summer with canning (pickles, corn, jam, green beans), but never cooking.  I think maybe because I had so many older sisters.  Basically, I ended up doing dishes/ setting the table.  So did my younger brother.

I could make a sandwich or bowl of cereal.  In college, I learned to make mac and cheese, canned soup, and ramen.

In the Navy, I would occasionally try to cook things.  They were okay.  I usually cut or burned myself though. 

At 31.5, when I was fat on my husband's cooking, I learned to cook to lose weight.  Now I'm a great cook, if I do say so myself.

I'm struggling with the kids though.  They both went through the phase at about 4-6 where they were excited to "help".  Now the big kid is 12, shows no interest.  We got him to help a bit 2 summers ago, but he's really really resistant.  And honestly, we don't have the patience to teach him.  He doesn't listen (too busy talking about other things), and we are busy and just want to get food on the table.  We don't eat cereal and he doesn't like sandwiches.

Today is a bit of a test.  No school this week.  He's home alone. Husband asked if one of us was going to drive home to feed him.  Nope.  I left instructions on how he can microwave the last slice of pizza.  There'a  bit of salad left too.  He just got braces, so the raw apples and carrots are out.  We do have bananas.

Tomorrow is an even bigger test.  Because no more pizza.  I do not trust him to use the oven on his own.  I think tonight or tomorrow we will make him make his own lunch.  Otherwise, I know he'll just eat the breakfast bars.  He did that before... but then they are all gone.

Christmas will be another 2 weeks of many days on his own.  We can do it!  Time to rip off the bandaid!

[zolotiyeruki]

I'm struggling with the kids though.  They both went through the phase at about 4-6 where they were excited to "help".  Now the big kid is 12, shows no interest.  We got him to help a bit 2 summers ago, but he's really really resistant.  And honestly, we don't have the patience to teach him.  He doesn't listen (too busy talking about other things), and we are busy and just want to get food on the table.  We don't eat cereal and he doesn't like sandwiches.

I can totally sympathize.  We've done a couple things to help with this:
1) our kids are responsible for their own lunches once they're 4-5 years old.  We homeschool, so it's not a packed lunch, but they've learned how to make PB&J, grilled cheese, ramen, etc for themselves (it varies by age).
2) each kid has an assigned evening each week where they help cook dinner.  I'll admit that the "help" usually consists of setting the table, for reasons similar to yours.  But we're getting better.

[Goldielocks]

mm1970
My 15 year old who can make his own food, but chooses not to...   Well, he spent 4 days pretty much on his own last summer.   I think he ate about 8 cans of tuna, because you can just open it and open a box of crackers.   And eat.  (once the granola bars and fast frozen foods were all gone, anyway).   

[Arbitrage]

Returned from a camping trip with friends.  One of the families that showed, whom I know have frequently had issues staying above water financially, drove up in a new truck towing a new to them (admittedly used and purchased for a decent price) travel trailer/camper.  They also tend to have a house full of the latest gadgets.

She revealed that she had also just purchased herself a Tesla.  She was three years ago from a milestone birthday, for which she claimed she always promised herself a nice car.  Her reasoning for purchasing it now:

- "While my commute now is only 5 minutes, I've been looking to apply to other jobs that might be far away, and I'm going to want a nice car for those drives."
- "If I get one of those jobs, I'll save lots of money on gas."
- "Though I don't have a car payment now, if I trade in my current car, the resulting car payment is only about as much as I was contributing in savings (to some type of tax-advantaged work plan, didn't get the details).  I'll just redirect the savings into the car payment, and it won't affect my budget at all!"
- "Why make myself suffer for three more years driving my current (perfectly functional) car, if I can have the Tesla now?"

I did my best not to criticize at all; not my business.  I did mention that I dropped myself off the Tesla wait list and started commuting to work on an e-bike, while stating that with so little driving in my life now, I don't even care that much that my car is ugly, slow, and old. 

Nice people, but no mysteries on why they have the financial problems they do.

[marty998]

- "While my commute now is only 5 minutes, I've been looking to apply to other jobs that might be far away, and I'm going to want a nice car for those drives."
- "If I get one of those jobs, I'll save lots of money on gas."
- "Though I don't have a car payment now, if I trade in my current car, the resulting car payment is only about as much as I was contributing in savings (to some type of tax-advantaged work plan, didn't get the details).  I'll just redirect the savings into the car payment, and it won't affect my budget at all!"
- "Why make myself suffer for three more years driving my current (perfectly functional) car, if I can have the Tesla now?"

I'm guessing I would dislike this woman. I am, however, insanely curious as to where one would learn this type of logic.

[dcheesi]

- "While my commute now is only 5 minutes, I've been looking to apply to other jobs that might be far away, and I'm going to want a nice car for those drives."
- "If I get one of those jobs, I'll save lots of money on gas."
- "Though I don't have a car payment now, if I trade in my current car, the resulting car payment is only about as much as I was contributing in savings (to some type of tax-advantaged work plan, didn't get the details).  I'll just redirect the savings into the car payment, and it won't affect my budget at all!"
- "Why make myself suffer for three more years driving my current (perfectly functional) car, if I can have the Tesla now?"

I'm guessing I would dislike this woman. I am, however, insanely curious as to where one would learn this type of logic.

Everyone is capable of "motivated reasoning" when we want something badly enough, and don't care enough about the consequences.

What takes real talent is keeping it up after the fact, expecially when it sounds as foolish as that coming out of one's mouth...

[mm1970]

mm1970
My 15 year old who can make his own food, but chooses not to...   Well, he spent 4 days pretty much on his own last summer.   I think he ate about 8 cans of tuna, because you can just open it and open a box of crackers.   And eat.  (once the granola bars and fast frozen foods were all gone, anyway).

Granola bars are gone today.  I think he'll end up with leftover broccoli, crackers, cheese, and bananas.

yesterday, apparently he texted my husband that he was hungry, and "what can I eat?"

Well, some of that is my own fault for being a control freak, and making sure that he eats fruits and vegetables.  "Can I have...?" is usually answered with "no, eat a vegetable".

My husband had a TON of fun with this.  Texted back.
- make a sandwich
- eat a banana
- have some crackers
- make yourself a quesadilla
- go over to J's house and give them the puppy dog "I'm hungry" look (we feed their kids all the time when they are over)
- grab some of your money and walk to the grocery store (about 3/4 of a mile) and buy something (Apparently the neighbors couldn't believe he typed this!)

I think kiddo was disappointed.  He wanted to be told what to eat. 

Fly young man.  Fly.  Feed yourself!

Too bad we also ran out of ramen.

[Hirondelle]

How is 'make a sandwich' or 'eat a banana' not being told what to eat??

[OtherJen]

How is 'make a sandwich' or 'eat a banana' not being told what to eat??

Maybe he wanted step-by-step instructions?

[ixtap]

How is 'make a sandwich' or 'eat a banana' not being told what to eat??

If my husband was out of pasta, I would have to tell him exactly what to have for dinner. He eats the same meals day after day because choosing food when he is hungry is overwhelming for him.

[partgypsy]

Some of my fond memories is of my youngest. Right after she was born, when first trying to nurse her, she latched on like a champ. And I remember thinking, well I'm not going to have to worry about her starving to death! And that was true for nursing. And while she was a toddler starting around 3, if she was hungry she would do things like open the fridge and take stuff out to eat (though sometimes forget to put it back), or pushed a chair up to the upper cabinets so she could climb up and reach the cereal and snacks, even pouring herself bowls of cereal. And I remember thinking again, well at least I don't have to worry about this one starving to death! I do have to limit the amount of chips in the house however, because she has an infinite capacity for eating them and will keep sneaking them until they are gone.

My oldest did go through a lazy period, (maybe still in it?) I remember her laying in bed moaning, that she hasn't had breakfast, or lunch yet...

[I'm a red panda]

How is 'make a sandwich' or 'eat a banana' not being told what to eat??

If my husband was out of pasta, I would have to tell him exactly what to have for dinner. He eats the same meals day after day because choosing food when he is hungry is overwhelming for him.

I think I have this issue.

People say not to grocery shop on an empty stomach because it's bad for your budget.

But if I'm hungry, I end up not buying anything. Even things on my list. I convince myself it no longer sounds good and I don't want to eat it.

If I wait to prepare food when I'm hungry, I eat spaghetti, cereal, or nothing, because choice is overwhelming.

[mm1970]

How is 'make a sandwich' or 'eat a banana' not being told what to eat??

In his defense, he doesn't like sandwiches (where did this kid come from??)  He also doesn't like meat.

Not my problem.  Okay, if you don't want a PB&J sandwich, have a spoonful of peanut butter.

Otherwise, I would have said "eat a few slices of turkey and some cheese".

Husband said "don't get cracker crumbs all over the couch or table!"  He listened.

They were all over the kitchen counter and the kitchen floor.  Sigh.

[letsdoit]

my brain is kind of exploding here. 
able bodied people who supposedly don't know how to eat, or have bad digestion when not served by their wife, or similar qualms
they have an unmet need

[ScreamingHeadGuy]

I remember My sister (1 year older) and I could be left home and survive by making Mac and cheese, bake a frozen pizza, and bake chocolate chip cookies by the time I was 10. 

One time baking cookies we ran out of flour, but made the batch anyways.  That experience thought me how important following a recipe is, or at least the importance of flour.

[jinga nation]

I want to start a business where I charge USD 1000 a week to yell at these men, women and teens, and break their bad habits and put basic life self-suffciencies in them. A life-skills boot camp. If I fail by Friday 4pm, then they get 50% back.
Then franchise the concept.

[ixtap]

I want to start a business where I charge USD 1000 a week to yell at these men, women and teens, and break their bad habits and put basic life self-suffciencies in them. A life-skills boot camp. If I fail by Friday 4pm, then they get 50% back.
Then franchise the concept.

My husband is probably on the Autism spectrum and lives with chonic pain. We will just continue to stock up on his default meals.

[Hirondelle]

An old neighbour of me is moving to another country. It's a warm country, so no winter gear required. Her mom's just posting on facebook how beloved daughter has left with over 50kgs(!!) of luggage. This is for a single person and mostly summer-clothing? I don't think I even own 50 kgs of stuff. Not to think of the ridiculous fees that have to be paid for a 2nd (and maybe 3rd?) suitcase.

[flipboard]

An old neighbour of me is moving to another country. It's a warm country, so no winter gear required. Her mom's just posting on facebook how beloved daughter has left with over 50kgs(!!) of luggage. This is for a single person and mostly summer-clothing? I don't think I even own 50 kgs of stuff. Not to think of the ridiculous fees that have to be paid for a 2nd (and maybe 3rd?) suitcase.

You may wish to try putting all your belongings in one suitcase, followed by weighing it. Please do let us know how you get on.

(Suitcase fees aren't all that bad, and they certainly are cheaper than paying to move more belongings, especially once removals companies get involved. Overall, 50kg in checked bags is a rather mustachian way to move countries. Especially if they took any household appliances or other similar items with them.)

[PrairieBeardstache]

An old neighbour of me is moving to another country. It's a warm country, so no winter gear required. Her mom's just posting on facebook how beloved daughter has left with over 50kgs(!!) of luggage. This is for a single person and mostly summer-clothing? I don't think I even own 50 kgs of stuff. Not to think of the ridiculous fees that have to be paid for a 2nd (and maybe 3rd?) suitcase.

You may wish to try putting all your belongings in one suitcase, followed by weighing it. Please do let us know how you get on.

(Suitcase fees aren't all that bad, and they certainly are cheaper than paying to move more belongings, especially once removals companies get involved. Overall, 50kg in checked bags is a rather mustachian way to move countries. Especially if they took any household appliances or other similar items with them.)

50kg = 110lbs

I travel pretty light but on a ski vacation with a single bag that bag weighed 40lbs. 110lbs for someone moving isn't much stuff. It's probably two of the larger suitcases.

[Kyle Schuant]

I've moved states a few times, and countries too. I didn't carry 50kg of stuff.

Basically you just need a few sets of clothes and anything truly precious to you, like printed photos and things.  Especially nowadays with phone and laptops and kindles and so on, all the photos and papers and books people used to carry around are now shrunk a lot. Everything else you can just buy in the new place. Everyday stuff like clothing, toasters, etc, isn't that expensive in the Western world these days.

Last time I visited the US, at customs I was asked, "Any reason you're travelling so light, sir?" I just had a daypack like many people take to uni or work. "I'm only here for a week and a bit," I said, "plus I used to be Army." When whatever you decide to take you've had to carry on your back for 25km a day, this tends to make you want to pack light.

[Hirondelle]

Yes, I think I might have different opinions on the amount one needs to move.

I've moved abroad twice, once I had about 20 kgs (to cold climate), the other time 10 kg (to tropical climate). The 20 kgs was the first time I moved this far away and if I'd had to do it again I'd probably have a bag in the 15 kg range. I might have to add that she's moving for a 6 month stint and most likely not bringing stuff like appliances or furniture. That would obviously be a different story and 50kg/110 lbs wouldn't be much if it includes tables and such.

[Sugaree]

Moving to a tropical country would almost certainly mean that I'm bringing along at least 40 lbs of scuba gear...

[letsdoit]

Moving to a tropical country would almost certainly mean that I'm bringing along at least 40 lbs of scuba gear...

even if you put your furniture in paid storage (that would be expensive),
you'd be so much happier without all that crap.  espec in the tropics.  gosh , unless you're trying to impress the diplomat crowd

[mm1970]

I remember My sister (1 year older) and I could be left home and survive by making Mac and cheese, bake a frozen pizza, and bake chocolate chip cookies by the time I was 10. 

One time baking cookies we ran out of flour, but made the batch anyways.  That experience thought me how important following a recipe is, or at least the importance of flour.

My older siblings lost a parent, and ended up trying to cook at ages 11 and 10.  But then they'd go outside and play.  The story the oldest tells was:  well, after the fourth or fifth time we burned the pudding, dad said "I guess we have to start buying instant!"

You have to learn somewhere.  I know this is the tricky part for us - we've tried to teach but, as I've mentioned before:
1. We don't have a lot of patience for teaching cooking to a kid who is not interested.
2. We both work full time.  So in the early years, we were going for "efficient".  It's faster and easier to just do it ourselves.  We are tired at the end of the day.  I have found that my friends with a SAHP or a work at home parent or part time working parent have been MUCH better at getting kids into chores, and cooking. 

Our kids are 6 years apart, so the "mind numbingly exhausting early years" were quite a long span for us too.

And the kids get free lunch at school.

[Sugaree]

It's not even December yet and I just saw the first person on my newsfeed speculating about what they are going to buy...with their tax refund!  This ridiculousness  usually doesn't start until right after xmas. 

[Just Joe]

Anyone hear what the spending levels this year have been like so far? Are folks going overboard?

[iliketocode]

Some people have electric heating.  During a cold winter you could easily rack up some big bill numbers with that.

Yes.  I was looking at a condo that has electric heating.  I liked the place, but according to the real estate agent the cost of electricity can vary from $150 to $550 a month.  With natural gas, it would have been well under $200.

[Dave1442397]

It's not even December yet and I just saw the first person on my newsfeed speculating about what they are going to buy...with their tax refund!  This ridiculousness  usually doesn't start until right after xmas.

I'll be very interested to see what our taxes are like for this year. With all the changes, and the cap on property tax deductions, I really have no idea what we'll (hopefully) get back.

[I'm a red panda]

Not facebook, but I'm being skewered on Reddit in R/financialindependence for not buying a 9-month old and 20-month old gifts for Christmas.

The entire thread is people bitching about how much Christmas spending costs, and many people saying they don't buy gifts at all.  I mentioned I don't buy for my daughter because she does not know what Christmas is (or birthday...).  Apparently this makes me a horrible person.

So apparently- we shouldn't buy gifts for people. Unless they are too young to understand the concept of a gift, then they need lots of junk

[onlykelsey]

Not facebook, but I'm being skewered on Reddit in R/financialindependence for not buying a 9-month old and 20-month old gifts for Christmas.

The entire thread is people bitching about how much Christmas spending costs, and many people saying they don't buy gifts at all.  I mentioned I don't buy for my daughter because she does not know what Christmas is (or birthday...).  Apparently this makes me a horrible person.

So apparently- we shouldn't buy gifts for people. Unless they are too young to understand the concept of a gift, then they need lots of junk

Tell them you're religious.  My group genuinely doesn't do gifts http://www.quakerinfo.com/quakxmas.shtml

I am going to get some winter purchases for my 21 month old, though, as they come up on craigslist/etc.

[sherr]

Not facebook, but I'm being skewered on Reddit in R/financialindependence for not buying a 9-month old and 20-month old gifts for Christmas.

No you aren't. You got one comment saying "I like to watch my baby light up when I give them a new thrift store toy. Buying new toys is okay occasionally."

And then when you responded with "I let them play with tupperware and pull the tissues out of the box" you got downvoted a bit, and one person called you a grinch and said "at least get them a teddy bear or something."

That's hardly a skewering.

[I'm a red panda]

Not facebook, but I'm being skewered on Reddit in R/financialindependence for not buying a 9-month old and 20-month old gifts for Christmas.

No you aren't. You got one comment saying "I like to watch my baby light up when I give them a new thrift store toy. Buying new toys is okay occasionally."

And then when you responded with "I let them play with tupperware and pull the tissues out of the box" you got downvoted a bit, and one person called you a grinch and said "at least get them a teddy bear or something."

That's hardly a skewering.

I've recieved 6 messages in my inbox.  Have you read those?   Those are the ones telling me I'm a horrible person.

But seriously- kids get excited about ANYTHING new. Have you ever let a toddler pull all the tissues out of a box? WAY more exciting that a teddy bear.

[zolotiyeruki]

Not facebook, but I'm being skewered on Reddit in R/financialindependence for not buying a 9-month old and 20-month old gifts for Christmas.

No you aren't. You got one comment saying "I like to watch my baby light up when I give them a new thrift store toy. Buying new toys is okay occasionally."

And then when you responded with "I let them play with tupperware and pull the tissues out of the box" you got downvoted a bit, and one person called you a grinch and said "at least get them a teddy bear or something."

That's hardly a skewering.

I've recieved 6 messages in my inbox.  Have you read those?   Those are the ones telling me I'm a horrible person.

But seriously- kids get excited about ANYTHING new. Have you ever let a toddler pull all the tissues out of a box? WAY more exciting that a teddy bear.

Agreed.  Besides, stuffed animals reproduce.  I have no idea how it's possible, but they give rabbits a run for their money.  Have you ever seen a home with just two stuffed animals?

[ysette9]

Not facebook, but I'm being skewered on Reddit in R/financialindependence for not buying a 9-month old and 20-month old gifts for Christmas.

No you aren't. You got one comment saying "I like to watch my baby light up when I give them a new thrift store toy. Buying new toys is okay occasionally."

And then when you responded with "I let them play with tupperware and pull the tissues out of the box" you got downvoted a bit, and one person called you a grinch and said "at least get them a teddy bear or something."

That's hardly a skewering.

I've recieved 6 messages in my inbox.  Have you read those?   Those are the ones telling me I'm a horrible person.

But seriously- kids get excited about ANYTHING new. Have you ever let a toddler pull all the tissues out of a box? WAY more exciting that a teddy bear.

Agreed.  Besides, stuffed animals reproduce.  I have no idea how it's possible, but they give rabbits a run for their money.  Have you ever seen a home with just two stuffed animals?

TRUTH

Maybe the problem is that we have two stuffed rabbits in the kid’s room and they reproduce when my back is turned...

[JAYSLOL]

The FaceBook friend from another financial dimension posted today "I have $4 to my name, where can I get something to eat?"

[Just Joe]

Not facebook, but I'm being skewered on Reddit in R/financialindependence for not buying a 9-month old and 20-month old gifts for Christmas.

No you aren't. You got one comment saying "I like to watch my baby light up when I give them a new thrift store toy. Buying new toys is okay occasionally."

And then when you responded with "I let them play with tupperware and pull the tissues out of the box" you got downvoted a bit, and one person called you a grinch and said "at least get them a teddy bear or something."

That's hardly a skewering.

I've recieved 6 messages in my inbox.  Have you read those?   Those are the ones telling me I'm a horrible person.

But seriously- kids get excited about ANYTHING new. Have you ever let a toddler pull all the tissues out of a box? WAY more exciting that a teddy bear.

Give them a hair brush and teach them to gently brush the family dog. Or crayons and some paper. Or take them for a walk. Why does everything involve buying STUFF rather than just DOING something? A toy's joy is finite. Teaching them to enjoy the simple things can be a lifetime gift. 

[kina]

Not facebook, but I'm being skewered on Reddit in R/financialindependence for not buying a 9-month old and 20-month old gifts for Christmas.

No you aren't. You got one comment saying "I like to watch my baby light up when I give them a new thrift store toy. Buying new toys is okay occasionally."

And then when you responded with "I let them play with tupperware and pull the tissues out of the box" you got downvoted a bit, and one person called you a grinch and said "at least get them a teddy bear or something."

That's hardly a skewering.

I've recieved 6 messages in my inbox.  Have you read those?   Those are the ones telling me I'm a horrible person.

But seriously- kids get excited about ANYTHING new. Have you ever let a toddler pull all the tissues out of a box? WAY more exciting that a teddy bear.

This was a gift to our second child on her first birthday. She was thrilled to have a box she could pull the tissues out of instead of being told 'no'. It confused my in-laws, though.

[mm1970]

Not facebook, but I'm being skewered on Reddit in R/financialindependence for not buying a 9-month old and 20-month old gifts for Christmas.

No you aren't. You got one comment saying "I like to watch my baby light up when I give them a new thrift store toy. Buying new toys is okay occasionally."

And then when you responded with "I let them play with tupperware and pull the tissues out of the box" you got downvoted a bit, and one person called you a grinch and said "at least get them a teddy bear or something."

That's hardly a skewering.

I've recieved 6 messages in my inbox.  Have you read those?   Those are the ones telling me I'm a horrible person.

But seriously- kids get excited about ANYTHING new. Have you ever let a toddler pull all the tissues out of a box? WAY more exciting that a teddy bear.

Tissue boxes and baby wipes.  I have many photos to prove it.

[Kitsune]

Not facebook, but I'm being skewered on Reddit in R/financialindependence for not buying a 9-month old and 20-month old gifts for Christmas.

No you aren't. You got one comment saying "I like to watch my baby light up when I give them a new thrift store toy. Buying new toys is okay occasionally."

And then when you responded with "I let them play with tupperware and pull the tissues out of the box" you got downvoted a bit, and one person called you a grinch and said "at least get them a teddy bear or something."

That's hardly a skewering.

I've recieved 6 messages in my inbox.  Have you read those?   Those are the ones telling me I'm a horrible person.

But seriously- kids get excited about ANYTHING new. Have you ever let a toddler pull all the tissues out of a box? WAY more exciting that a teddy bear.

This was a gift to our second child on her first birthday. She was thrilled to have a box she could pull the tissues out of instead of being told 'no'. It confused my in-laws, though.

We did the same for my son's first Christmas - he was DELIGHTED.

[partgypsy]

The big thing in our house was a) letting them play with couch cushions including making couch cushion forts, and b) cardboard boxes. To the extent one birthday she got this as part of her themed birthday. All the kids decorated and played in it and it was definitely worth the money play-value wise. 
 https://www.amazon.com/Easy-Playhouse-EP2001-Castle/dp/B006ZPO5AK/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1543521459&sr=8-3&keywords=cardboard+castle

but yeah my youngest especially would go to town on both the tissue boxes and pulling all the toliet paper down from the rolls.

[MgoSam]

A professional fighter at my gym

a. Keeps posting that Carfax is a scam (but didn't bother to inspect the car before buying it, IMHO caveat emptor)

b. Rants constantly about how the government can't pay it's bills but he's a high school dropout that someone manages to pay his bills (overheard head coach about him slacking on gym dues, and also overheard him asking a friend for a loan to prevent water from getting shut off).

c. Last night posted about how he's going to unfriend anyone that keeps posting political "crap," this is from a guy that in addition to the government rants in b, he constantly puts up various political memes, and name-calling any politician or anything that pisses him off.

He's free to do what he wants, I can't help but shake my head at him.

[FindingFI]

The big thing in our house was a) letting them play with couch cushions including making couch cushion forts, and b) cardboard boxes. To the extent one birthday she got this as part of her themed birthday. All the kids decorated and played in it and it was definitely worth the money play-value wise. 
 https://www.amazon.com/Easy-Playhouse-EP2001-Castle/dp/B006ZPO5AK/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1543521459&sr=8-3&keywords=cardboard+castle

but yeah my youngest especially would go to town on both the tissue boxes and pulling all the toliet paper down from the rolls.

Couch cushion forts were the best! My sister and I would add in some blankets and use other pieces of furniture to make couch cushion mansions.  Those where some great days.

[better late]

Not facebook, but I'm being skewered on Reddit in R/financialindependence for not buying a 9-month old and 20-month old gifts for Christmas.

No you aren't. You got one comment saying "I like to watch my baby light up when I give them a new thrift store toy. Buying new toys is okay occasionally."

And then when you responded with "I let them play with tupperware and pull the tissues out of the box" you got downvoted a bit, and one person called you a grinch and said "at least get them a teddy bear or something."

That's hardly a skewering.

I've recieved 6 messages in my inbox.  Have you read those?   Those are the ones telling me I'm a horrible person.

But seriously- kids get excited about ANYTHING new. Have you ever let a toddler pull all the tissues out of a box? WAY more exciting that a teddy bear.

Tissue boxes and baby wipes.  I have many photos to prove it.

Over here it was toilet paper. And when they got older a box or two of character bandaids. Head to toe in colorful bandaids is a very happy thing.

[letsdoit]

A professional fighter at my gym

a. Keeps posting that Carfax is a scam (but didn't bother to inspect the car before buying it, IMHO caveat emptor)

b. Rants constantly about how the government can't pay it's bills but he's a high school dropout that someone manages to pay his bills (overheard head coach about him slacking on gym dues, and also overheard him asking a friend for a loan to prevent water from getting shut off).

c. Last night posted about how he's going to unfriend anyone that keeps posting political "crap," this is from a guy that in addition to the government rants in b, he constantly puts up various political memes, and name-calling any politician or anything that pisses him off.

He's free to do what he wants, I can't help but shake my head at him.

there was a 'fighter' at my gym (read ex-con) who would slay the heavy bag without moving his feet and then break the f'ing speed bag.  I hit the speed bag once and he maybe got jealous bc my hands were faster than his and he walked over and hit the thing as hard as he could and broke it 

[penguintroopers]

It's not even December yet and I just saw the first person on my newsfeed speculating about what they are going to buy...with their tax refund!  This ridiculousness  usually doesn't start until right after xmas.

I'll be very interested to see what our taxes are like for this year. With all the changes, and the cap on property tax deductions, I really have no idea what we'll (hopefully) get back.

Ditto, only our situation is that this is our first full year with both of us having our career-focused jobs with high pay. Last year we got something like $1100 back from the feds but owed the state $3. Having something like $30k in deductions right off the bat is kinda crazy compared to last year.

And in all fairness, I already know exactly what we're going to buy with our tax refund (if we get one)...

FREEDOM.