Author Topic: Overheard on Facebook  (Read 6542931 times)

Alfred J Quack

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 446
  • Location: Netherlands
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7750 on: November 14, 2018, 10:22:19 AM »
I just got another FB friend invite from my FIL. I searched for his name and found six accounts he has opened up over time.
It appears that he forgets his password or otherwise gets messed up and so instead of figuring it out or asking for help, he just opens a new account.
My MIL is the same. I have 4 accounts that are all her, but she ups the game by using a different name every time. So frustrating.

We have a relative that asks their grown kids and grandkids for IT support. Everyone has varying skill levels. DW does IT support as part of her job.

DW will find abandoned accounts, passwords nobody wrote down, click here solutions and no awareness of what software or app they are using to "see the pictures" (social media). Even recovering passwords by email can be an adventure.

Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Last time I helped someone was when a colleague asked me to help with his audio system because it could be linked to his TV control (that was an interesting new concept at the time). I helped, he payed barely enough to cover my travel expenses and appearently told his manager that I'd help out if he payed me. So next thing I know is the manager asking me to help him for a few €, I refused.

After that I realized that everyone wants to sit up front for pennies and that if they really wanted my help they should pay my hourly tariff based on my experience and knowledge (50€ before tax). I used to get a reply that their nephew or some such was a lot cheaper and could do it too - so why not ask the nephew in stead of asking me! Eventually the requests stopped.

I have done a few charity cases in the meantime but it usually bit me in the backside so now you pay full deterrent price (75€ :P) or no support, period. It also helps to give a sob story about the family situation which everyone knows about anyway to emphasyze my point - my time is more valuable than your money.

MishMash

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 731
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7751 on: November 14, 2018, 02:10:17 PM »


What finally got me to post here is that in recent months the moocher has apparently been "bitten by the travel bug" and is on his third trip by PLANE this year.  His trips are of course well documented with selfies and memes about the Joy of Travel.  This has apparently made his money situation particularly desperate so he has gone from subtle asks for money ("woe is me I'm so poor how will I eat" quickly followed by "it sure would be nice if a pizza magically appeared on my doorstep."  I wish I was joking.) to not-so-subtle asks.  I mean directly saying "give me money, any money, even a dollar will do" in increasingly creative ways ranging from cutesy to straight up begging.  The frequency of these posts is directly proportional to the frequency of his travel posts and how excited he is to "go off on his next adventure."  Today's post was what pushed me over the edge:  Directions on how to give directly to his paypal because he doesn't know how he'll pay rent (again, that poor roommate) the same day as posting that he bought yet another plane ticket.

We have a lady like that at our mosque, she is always complaining about how she is hungry, how she has no food in the house, etc. She has repeatedly stated that she has government disability payments monthly but is frequently posting on FB about how she has bought new art supplies or she has gotten a new tattoo. Now, I live a good ways from the mosque, about 1/2 hour on public transport. I live very near to the only pay-what-you-can grocery in Canada.  Offered to take her there, since I had to go home anyway.  She refused, saying, « Thanks, that would be nice but then I would have to cook the food ». I just said, « okay, let me know if you ever need a ride over there. Salaam aleikum » and then left.  I’ve been told that other people have given her food many times but I can’t see that as helpful or sustainable.

i have to admit once i cooked a bowl of plain white rice and offered it to a guy that was always bitching about how hungry he was.  i was young, maybe it was uncooth, but i used to eat a lot of plain rice so i know he wasnt really hungry bc he rejected it

Yea I have a FB friend like this...she used to be HORRIBLE (she's earlier in the thread with some of the stories).  Then she got better for a while, but has recently re started, and now it's rent, food, AND booze and weed that she is begging for.

TheGrimSqueaker

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2653
  • Location: A desert wasteland, where none but the weird survive
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7752 on: November 14, 2018, 04:15:09 PM »


What finally got me to post here is that in recent months the moocher has apparently been "bitten by the travel bug" and is on his third trip by PLANE this year.  His trips are of course well documented with selfies and memes about the Joy of Travel.  This has apparently made his money situation particularly desperate so he has gone from subtle asks for money ("woe is me I'm so poor how will I eat" quickly followed by "it sure would be nice if a pizza magically appeared on my doorstep."  I wish I was joking.) to not-so-subtle asks.  I mean directly saying "give me money, any money, even a dollar will do" in increasingly creative ways ranging from cutesy to straight up begging.  The frequency of these posts is directly proportional to the frequency of his travel posts and how excited he is to "go off on his next adventure."  Today's post was what pushed me over the edge:  Directions on how to give directly to his paypal because he doesn't know how he'll pay rent (again, that poor roommate) the same day as posting that he bought yet another plane ticket.

We have a lady like that at our mosque, she is always complaining about how she is hungry, how she has no food in the house, etc. She has repeatedly stated that she has government disability payments monthly but is frequently posting on FB about how she has bought new art supplies or she has gotten a new tattoo. Now, I live a good ways from the mosque, about 1/2 hour on public transport. I live very near to the only pay-what-you-can grocery in Canada.  Offered to take her there, since I had to go home anyway.  She refused, saying, « Thanks, that would be nice but then I would have to cook the food ». I just said, « okay, let me know if you ever need a ride over there. Salaam aleikum » and then left.  I’ve been told that other people have given her food many times but I can’t see that as helpful or sustainable.

i have to admit once i cooked a bowl of plain white rice and offered it to a guy that was always bitching about how hungry he was.  i was young, maybe it was uncooth, but i used to eat a lot of plain rice so i know he wasnt really hungry bc he rejected it

Yea I have a FB friend like this...she used to be HORRIBLE (she's earlier in the thread with some of the stories).  Then she got better for a while, but has recently re started, and now it's rent, food, AND booze and weed that she is begging for.

Don't tell me that Madame Bovary burned through yet another meal ticket, and is looking for a new codependent KISSASS?

Goldielocks

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7020
  • Location: BC
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7753 on: November 14, 2018, 04:37:08 PM »

i have to admit once i cooked a bowl of plain white rice and offered it to a guy that was always bitching about how hungry he was.  i was young, maybe it was uncooth, but i used to eat a lot of plain rice so i know he wasnt really hungry bc he rejected it

I did something similar.  I helped a family who recently moved here from another country to get out of a horrible living situation (the 5 of them were staying with a relative and the hosting family's patience had obviously run out about 3 months prior).   What I did was help to find household donations for them, picked it all up, moved it all into their new basement suite, helped them fill out paperwork that they needed to stay in the country, offered to walk them from the bus stop to their lawyer's because they (she) was nervous about getting there without a car, etc.

After moving the second load of donations into their place, she said that they did not have any food and was worried.  She had refused to have me bring her to sign up at the food back previously.   I was a bit puzzled because obviously the family / relations that they moved away from were well enough off, and should have been very thankful that they were now in their own place, so I know I would have easily bought them some groceries... but maybe not.  Not my place to pry.

So, I went home, looked at my own cupboard, and packaged up some of the sweet potatoes, some onions, potatoes, 1/2 gallon of cooking oil, a lb of carrots, a handful of apples, oatmeal, and a few pounds of rice, dried chickpeas and some beans.   Most of this from my own personal "super size bulk" supplies, which is so much cheaper to get but needs ready cash when you do.  I added in salt, a bit of spices (whatever I had in bulk),  a lb of sugar and some cheap tea bags that I was not using up very quickly.

And I dropped it off.   There were smiles, a bit of puzzled look, and a thank-you.

And I was never asked by them again for food "donations" although I know many others in the community were repeatedly asked.

dragoncar

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 10047
  • Registered member
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7754 on: November 14, 2018, 05:22:30 PM »

Just Joe

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7780
  • Location: In the middle....
  • Teach me something.
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7755 on: November 15, 2018, 07:47:09 AM »
Last time I helped someone was when a colleague asked me to help with his audio system because it could be linked to his TV control (that was an interesting new concept at the time). I helped, he payed barely enough to cover my travel expenses and appearently told his manager that I'd help out if he payed me. So next thing I know is the manager asking me to help him for a few €, I refused.

After that I realized that everyone wants to sit up front for pennies and that if they really wanted my help they should pay my hourly tariff based on my experience and knowledge (50€ before tax). I used to get a reply that their nephew or some such was a lot cheaper and could do it too - so why not ask the nephew in stead of asking me! Eventually the requests stopped.

I have done a few charity cases in the meantime but it usually bit me in the backside so now you pay full deterrent price (75€ :P) or no support, period. It also helps to give a sob story about the family situation which everyone knows about anyway to emphasyze my point - my time is more valuable than your money.

That's what YouTube and Google is for. A colleague had a printer problem recently. All he knew was that he had a printer, nothing else. After we established the details and I sent him three YT links. Tada!!!

I am a big fan of "teaching a man to fish" but sometimes it feels like I'm doing someone's homework for them. ;)

TheGrimSqueaker

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2653
  • Location: A desert wasteland, where none but the weird survive
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7756 on: November 15, 2018, 10:56:01 AM »
<snipped a food charity story>

And I dropped it off.   There were smiles, a bit of puzzled look, and a thank-you.

And I was never asked by them again for food "donations" although I know many others in the community were repeatedly asked.

Food culture is interesting. People seem to have a preference for eating what they grew up with and what they know how to prepare. One person's staple might be inedible to someone else from a different culture who doesn't know how to prepare it, and it's not entirely a global thing.

There are also people who truly do not know how to cook. One of my tenants had to be taught how to make spaghetti or soup for himself using pre-packaged options. He'd always lived with other family members who had done the cooking and who had discouraged him from so much as stepping into the kitchen. If someone were to have handed this fellow a potato or some dried beans, he'd have been verbally polite but with the same deer-in-the-headlights response you described.

A person living in a house who does not contribute by performing basic household operations such as cooking wears out his or her welcome pretty quickly. You described a family of five.

I'm a red panda

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8185
  • Location: United States
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7757 on: November 15, 2018, 11:37:47 AM »
<snipped a food charity story>

And I dropped it off.   There were smiles, a bit of puzzled look, and a thank-you.

And I was never asked by them again for food "donations" although I know many others in the community were repeatedly asked.

Food culture is interesting. People seem to have a preference for eating what they grew up with and what they know how to prepare. One person's staple might be inedible to someone else from a different culture who doesn't know how to prepare it, and it's not entirely a global thing.


Agree, I tutor at a refugee center, and even when the most basic food (like eggs or corn) are set out in the share basket, we always put instructions on what you can do with it, beyond just a recipe.

Imma

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3193
  • Location: Europe
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7758 on: November 15, 2018, 02:59:18 PM »


There are also people who truly do not know how to cook. One of my tenants had to be taught how to make spaghetti or soup for himself using pre-packaged options. He'd always lived with other family members who had done the cooking and who had discouraged him from so much as stepping into the kitchen. If someone were to have handed this fellow a potato or some dried beans, he'd have been verbally polite but with the same deer-in-the-headlights response you described.


Due to circumstances, a grown-up man aged 50 in my family suddenly has no one to cook for him anymore, and won't for another two months.

He has been calling relatives in desperation for money to pay ffood because he couldn't afford eating out every day and he has been hungry for a while. His siblings didn't want to give him money, understandably (due to other circumstances this guy never has money although he has a good income, a cheap home and no dependants - there's more to this story of course) but if he made a shopping list, they'd drop off a couple of bags of groceries. He absolutely had no idea what to put on a grocery shopping list, because he's never cooked for himself and apparantly rarely even shops for groceries himself. Seems he's been living on bread and canned hotdogs for a few weeks now.

There's a lot more to this story and I don't feel a lot of sympathy for this guy, but it's sad that a grown man can't even imagine going to the grocery store and picking up canned soup, microwave meals or frozen pizza. These days you can even buy meal kits with seasoned meat, chopped up vegetables and fresh noodles that you just have to stir fry for a few minutes. I'm sure there are youtube tutorials about boiling and frying eggs. But this grown-up man sincerely can't feed himself and he's not accepting any help from anyone.

AMandM

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1862
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7759 on: November 15, 2018, 05:04:17 PM »

A 'potato', oh interesting. Never heard of a potato, looks pretty good.

You laugh, but Caitlyn Flanagan once wrote in the Atlantic of going to a friend's house as a child. The friend and her mother were in the kitchen, doing something with brown lumps and knives. "What are you doing?" asked Caitlyn.  "Uh... we're making mashed potatoes," was the reply.  She was incredulous, because she knew mashed potatoes, and she knew they were flakes that came in a box.

MishMash

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 731
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7760 on: November 16, 2018, 05:31:40 AM »


What finally got me to post here is that in recent months the moocher has apparently been "bitten by the travel bug" and is on his third trip by PLANE this year.  His trips are of course well documented with selfies and memes about the Joy of Travel.  This has apparently made his money situation particularly desperate so he has gone from subtle asks for money ("woe is me I'm so poor how will I eat" quickly followed by "it sure would be nice if a pizza magically appeared on my doorstep."  I wish I was joking.) to not-so-subtle asks.  I mean directly saying "give me money, any money, even a dollar will do" in increasingly creative ways ranging from cutesy to straight up begging.  The frequency of these posts is directly proportional to the frequency of his travel posts and how excited he is to "go off on his next adventure."  Today's post was what pushed me over the edge:  Directions on how to give directly to his paypal because he doesn't know how he'll pay rent (again, that poor roommate) the same day as posting that he bought yet another plane ticket.

We have a lady like that at our mosque, she is always complaining about how she is hungry, how she has no food in the house, etc. She has repeatedly stated that she has government disability payments monthly but is frequently posting on FB about how she has bought new art supplies or she has gotten a new tattoo. Now, I live a good ways from the mosque, about 1/2 hour on public transport. I live very near to the only pay-what-you-can grocery in Canada.  Offered to take her there, since I had to go home anyway.  She refused, saying, « Thanks, that would be nice but then I would have to cook the food ». I just said, « okay, let me know if you ever need a ride over there. Salaam aleikum » and then left.  I’ve been told that other people have given her food many times but I can’t see that as helpful or sustainable.

i have to admit once i cooked a bowl of plain white rice and offered it to a guy that was always bitching about how hungry he was.  i was young, maybe it was uncooth, but i used to eat a lot of plain rice so i know he wasnt really hungry bc he rejected it

Yea I have a FB friend like this...she used to be HORRIBLE (she's earlier in the thread with some of the stories).  Then she got better for a while, but has recently re started, and now it's rent, food, AND booze and weed that she is begging for.

Don't tell me that Madame Bovary burned through yet another meal ticket, and is looking for a new codependent KISSASS?

Surprisingly she is still with the ex husbands best friend.  However, as a dishonorably discharged vet he has trouble finding employment, and she well, barely graduated high school and has always been pretty lazy, so a hard week of work is 2-3 part time days.  So you know, money problems out the ears. 

He gets rent help from one of the local vet organizations so they now have a place to live (after being evicted from a few a couple of years ago).  He however kicks her out every six months or so when he gets bored or finds a temporary new piece.  So it's "the world is burning down and everyone hates me please send me rent money" on facebook for a while, then she's right back in it again.

And of course, none of their circumstances are their fault.  It's the damn dirty illegal immigrants and that horrible caravan that "took er jobs". 


partgypsy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5802
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7761 on: November 16, 2018, 11:30:28 AM »


There are also people who truly do not know how to cook. One of my tenants had to be taught how to make spaghetti or soup for himself using pre-packaged options. He'd always lived with other family members who had done the cooking and who had discouraged him from so much as stepping into the kitchen. If someone were to have handed this fellow a potato or some dried beans, he'd have been verbally polite but with the same deer-in-the-headlights response you described.


Due to circumstances, a grown-up man aged 50 in my family suddenly has no one to cook for him anymore, and won't for another two months.

He has been calling relatives in desperation for money to pay ffood because he couldn't afford eating out every day and he has been hungry for a while. His siblings didn't want to give him money, understandably (due to other circumstances this guy never has money although he has a good income, a cheap home and no dependants - there's more to this story of course) but if he made a shopping list, they'd drop off a couple of bags of groceries. He absolutely had no idea what to put on a grocery shopping list, because he's never cooked for himself and apparantly rarely even shops for groceries himself. Seems he's been living on bread and canned hotdogs for a few weeks now.

There's a lot more to this story and I don't feel a lot of sympathy for this guy, but it's sad that a grown man can't even imagine going to the grocery store and picking up canned soup, microwave meals or frozen pizza. These days you can even buy meal kits with seasoned meat, chopped up vegetables and fresh noodles that you just have to stir fry for a few minutes. I'm sure there are youtube tutorials about boiling and frying eggs. But this grown-up man sincerely can't feed himself and he's not accepting any help from anyone.

Wow. It sounds like my 12 and 15 year olds know how to prepare more food than this fellow, and I feel their skills are basic. They can both make their own sandwiches and lunches, the oldest can fry a hamburger and make simple recipes, and youngest can make sandwiches, reheat things and make oatmeal, cut fruit and salads. She can crack eggs and flip pancakes, but her technique for those needs work.

MgoSam

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3684
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7762 on: November 16, 2018, 11:39:48 AM »
I have no sympathy for people like that. I used to have a receptionist that would eat out each lunch while grumbling at how little she made. When asked why she didn't cook she would mention that she never learned how to cook. I didn't, my mom actively told me not to learn for whatever reason but I figured some things out and now I cook nearly all my meals.

Nowadays there's Youtube, meal kits, and many other ways to get started. Heck if you just post on Facebook, "Anyone wanna help me learn to buy groceries and cook?" He'll likely get scores of responses from people wiling to help him.

People need to want to improve in order to do so.

partgypsy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5802
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7763 on: November 16, 2018, 12:00:29 PM »
It's ironic because both grandmothers were excellent cooks, parents are decent to good cooks, and my Dad is in the restaurant business, but I didn't learn how to cook until I went to college. No one showed me. My sister and I were only allowed to do food prep (like peel and cut vegetables, etc) not allowed or shown how to cook. In college I had a very limited budget so living off campus and cooking my own food was much less expensive, plus during that time I was not eating refined sugar which meant I had to make almost all my food. Had a group of like minded people where not only made meals, but baked goods and breads (including sourdough) yogurt, and homemade mayonaise. And there was always a group of hungry students to eat the food (even if the experiments were not 100% successful!) I look on those days with fondness. Anyways I am not going to make the same mistake and shoo my kids out of the kitchen.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2018, 12:02:08 PM by partgypsy »

MgoSam

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3684
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7764 on: November 16, 2018, 12:09:52 PM »
Anyways I am not going to make the same mistake and shoo my kids out of the kitchen.

Agreed! I should add that I do have some sympathy for people that didn't learn how to cook as a kid. Personally I can't imagine why parents wouldn't teach their kids how to cook, it provides them with a necessary skill, they can learn nutrition and how to better care and fend for themselves, and can help with preparing dinner instead of waiting for mommy and daddy to do it.

Just how great would it be for some parents if their son or daughter were to call them and said, "When are you coming home, I'm HUNGRY!!!!" and for mother to be like, "Well there's pasta and sauce in the cupboard have at them," and hang up.

ixtap

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4930
  • Age: 52
  • Location: SoCal
    • Our Sea Story
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7765 on: November 16, 2018, 12:16:43 PM »
Anyways I am not going to make the same mistake and shoo my kids out of the kitchen.

Agreed! I should add that I do have some sympathy for people that didn't learn how to cook as a kid. Personally I can't imagine why parents wouldn't teach their kids how to cook, it provides them with a necessary skill, they can learn nutrition and how to better care and fend for themselves, and can help with preparing dinner instead of waiting for mommy and daddy to do it.

Just how great would it be for some parents if their son or daughter were to call them and said, "When are you coming home, I'm HUNGRY!!!!" and for mother to be like, "Well there's pasta and sauce in the cupboard have at them," and hang up.

My husband never got much beyond the pasta and sauce stage, but has frequently mentioned that he is going to learn to cook when he has more time in retirement. I keep imagining elaborate french cooking, but in reality, he is generally really impressed that I can open up the cupboard and produce a meal, even if it is seasoning a can of beans to make tacos.

Zikoris

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4763
  • Age: 38
  • Location: Vancouver, BC
  • Vancouverstachian
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7766 on: November 16, 2018, 12:23:24 PM »
Anyways I am not going to make the same mistake and shoo my kids out of the kitchen.

Agreed! I should add that I do have some sympathy for people that didn't learn how to cook as a kid. Personally I can't imagine why parents wouldn't teach their kids how to cook, it provides them with a necessary skill, they can learn nutrition and how to better care and fend for themselves, and can help with preparing dinner instead of waiting for mommy and daddy to do it.

Just how great would it be for some parents if their son or daughter were to call them and said, "When are you coming home, I'm HUNGRY!!!!" and for mother to be like, "Well there's pasta and sauce in the cupboard have at them," and hang up.

I know why my parents didn't teach us how to cook growing up - they're absolutely terrible at it :) For a long time I thought I was just a super picky eater, but it turned out I just don't like horrible cooking.

That said, I generally did have to fend for myself food-wise (so I didn't hit 18 at at food level zero, maybe level one or two), but mostly just ate very simple things - sandwiches, cereal, pasta with sauce, veggie burgers. I was so happy to move out on my own and start experimenting and learning to make good stuff. Over the last decade my cooking has improved dramatically since I found a boyfriend who absolutely loves food and eating, as well as trying new foods. If we ever see something interesting, whether it's a menu item, picture, or unusual ingredient in the grocery store, he's always like "Buy it! Make it! Mmmmm food". There's practically nothing the guy actually dislikes.

dcheesi

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1384
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7767 on: November 16, 2018, 12:35:15 PM »
Anyways I am not going to make the same mistake and shoo my kids out of the kitchen.

Agreed! I should add that I do have some sympathy for people that didn't learn how to cook as a kid. Personally I can't imagine why parents wouldn't teach their kids how to cook, it provides them with a necessary skill, they can learn nutrition and how to better care and fend for themselves, and can help with preparing dinner instead of waiting for mommy and daddy to do it.

Just how great would it be for some parents if their son or daughter were to call them and said, "When are you coming home, I'm HUNGRY!!!!" and for mother to be like, "Well there's pasta and sauce in the cupboard have at them," and hang up.
Not everyone who can cook can teach. Plus some cooks just can't stand to watch amateurs attempt to make the same dishes; they can't help wanting to just do it themselves so it's done right.

20957

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 171
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7768 on: November 16, 2018, 04:57:16 PM »
I know an older guy who can't/doesn't cook - when his wife goes away she leaves meals for him. But what really blew me away was that what she leaves is sandwiches, on plates, with plastic wrap over them. Because his level of can't cook is such that he can't warm up a casserole or make his own sandwich. So crazy, esp because this is a man who machined me a new gear for my stand mixer, and made a stair railing for a neighbor. Cooking is harder than metalwork, I guess? People are so endlessly fascinating.

Zikoris

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4763
  • Age: 38
  • Location: Vancouver, BC
  • Vancouverstachian
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7769 on: November 16, 2018, 05:58:24 PM »
I know an older guy who can't/doesn't cook - when his wife goes away she leaves meals for him. But what really blew me away was that what she leaves is sandwiches, on plates, with plastic wrap over them. Because his level of can't cook is such that he can't warm up a casserole or make his own sandwich. So crazy, esp because this is a man who machined me a new gear for my stand mixer, and made a stair railing for a neighbor. Cooking is harder than metalwork, I guess? People are so endlessly fascinating.

Lol, I'm actually not sure if my boyfriend could make a sandwich or not. I hope so? He can reheat stuff if I give him very specific instructions.I do all the cooking, and also make all his food for him when I go away on camping or work trips. It's kind of fun labelling things "Saturday lunch" and stuff.

fredbear

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 172
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7770 on: November 16, 2018, 08:48:28 PM »
... Personally I can't imagine why parents wouldn't teach their kids how to cook, it provides them with a necessary skill, they can learn nutrition and how to better care and fend for themselves, and can help with preparing dinner instead of waiting for mommy and daddy to do it.

Just how great would it be for some parents if their son or daughter were to call them and said, "When are you coming home, I'm HUNGRY!!!!" and for mother to be like, "Well there's pasta and sauce in the cupboard have at them," and hang up.

I cycled my 3 through a rotation: one set, one cooked, one cleared and cleaned up.  Next night, same sequence, each kid in a different role.  All three of them now greatly exceed my cooking abilities.  It is a wonderful thing when they gently elbow me aside and do a meal while I set or clean up. 

There were a limited set of family rules about food:

1. "You don't have to eat ANYTHING and you still get desert."/*
2. At the least hint of a complaint you lost everything./**
3. If you didn't like what was served you could go into the kitchen and cook something else for yourself./***

/* My mother always made these spectacular moist chocolate cakes, inches deep in creamy frosting, that filled the house with a rich redolence, and set it out on the sideboard beside the dinner table, on the nights when she made some loathsome italianate glop that extruded tentacles of pollution that flowed in rivulets of corruption and stench across your plate and defiled inoffensive potatoes.  You had to gag those courses down into your rising gorge before you were allowed a slice of the cake.   The risk for my kids was that I was not a very desert-conscious father, and they might cast their dinner into the outer darkness of the Disposal, all for a desert that wasn't there.
/** I never could abide those whiny-snot-shit little kids who say, "Yuck!  DADDY?!  What IS this Shit?"  My kids grew to love this rule, and on nights when they invited their little pards over would eat until their junior fredbear bellies distended, elbow their little buddy and whisper, "Watch this!  Wait'll you see what my dad does!" and then announce in their big voice, "Daddy, I HATE this shit," gesturing at a salad or some medium-rare elk-meat scraps.  Instantly I would grab their plate, scrape it onto mine, and finish their dinner, while they were nudging their friend and saying, "See?  Now you!  You try it!" until some politely-raised little 9-year-old, convinced that if his mommy ever heard about it he would be hided timed out, would peep, "Mr Fredbear, I, uh, I ... don't like this, uh, very much," and I would scrape their plate onto mine and finish it up while they giggled.
/*** If you could find something else.  Mostly we were a pretty active family (in addition to hunting, fishing, road and mountain biking, the kids lettered in 8 sports) and given to righteous hunger, so if you hesitated over your dinner, a spear-like forest of forks would be aimed at your plate from all sides, and little piping voices would be saying (as they said on the night we [may have, or maybe not] served dog to Bunter), "Excuse me, Ms Grimsqueaker.   You gonna finish that dog?"  And if you said, weakly, with Thyestean queasiness, "Uh, it's, uh, not really ... Dog... is it Mr Fredbear?"  Nervously:  "It's moose, isn't it?  Or maybe, uh, pronghorn?"

"An airedale cross, I'd say.  If it is dog."

"This is some sort of awful joke, isn't, Mr Fredbear?  Isn't it?"

"We don't Waste Protein in this house, Bunter."

And if after that you did say, "Uh, I'm not that hungry," the forks would stab down and lance the mystery meat off your plate and with a sort of polite intensity the little fredbears, like so many Malamute puppies,/**** would snap it all up and gulp it all down.

/****There be three things that are said to be Death: to be in the tower of Big Ben during the ringing of a Peal; to get between Senator Chuck Schumer and a tv camera; to interpose yourself between a litter of 6-month-old Alaskan malamutes and blubber.

Zikoris

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4763
  • Age: 38
  • Location: Vancouver, BC
  • Vancouverstachian
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7771 on: November 16, 2018, 10:48:58 PM »
I know an older guy who can't/doesn't cook - when his wife goes away she leaves meals for him. But what really blew me away was that what she leaves is sandwiches, on plates, with plastic wrap over them. Because his level of can't cook is such that he can't warm up a casserole or make his own sandwich. So crazy, esp because this is a man who machined me a new gear for my stand mixer, and made a stair railing for a neighbor. Cooking is harder than metalwork, I guess? People are so endlessly fascinating.

Lol, I'm actually not sure if my boyfriend could make a sandwich or not. I hope so? He can reheat stuff if I give him very specific instructions.I do all the cooking, and also make all his food for him when I go away on camping or work trips. It's kind of fun labelling things "Saturday lunch" and stuff.

Update: When I got home from work I asked him if he thought he could make a sandwich. We went through the steps and he thinks he could do it if he didn't have to slice anything - he can't really use knives.

zolotiyeruki

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5833
  • Location: State: Denial
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7772 on: November 17, 2018, 12:25:27 AM »
I suspect that in many cases, it's a generational thing. My parents very much followed the traditional split of responsibilities--he brought home the bacon, and she ran the household. He never cooked, and could barely follow a recipe.  A lot changed after he retired :)

AnnaGrowsAMustache

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1941
  • Location: Noo Zilind
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7773 on: November 17, 2018, 12:47:02 AM »
I can understand not cooking while someone else is there to do it for you. You'd have to be some kind of stupid to actually go hungry rather than being able to figure out how to make a damn sandwich, however. I can't imagine how you could get through life if you were so completely ignorant that you were unable to google how to heat soup, ffs.

Mind you, there are some very stupid people around. One of the women at my work started buying coffees several times a day..... because the regular instant coffee in the staff room had been replaced with the same brand of instant coffee in 'expresso'. She didn't know what it was and didn't want to try it......

People like this are why we need a zombie apocalypse.

Hula Hoop

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1781
  • Location: Italy
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7774 on: November 17, 2018, 01:22:28 AM »
I suspect that in many cases, it's a generational thing. My parents very much followed the traditional split of responsibilities--he brought home the bacon, and she ran the household. He never cooked, and could barely follow a recipe.  A lot changed after he retired :)


My husband grew up like this.  His sisters learned to cook and he didn't because he's a boy.  However he moved out of home at 18 and now we have 2 kids to feed in addition to ourselves.  We both work full time but his hours are more flexible so he often does the shopping and cooking. It's not rocket science. If he doesn't know how to cook something he Google recipes.

marty998

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7372
  • Location: Sydney, Oz
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7775 on: November 17, 2018, 03:50:12 AM »
I suspect that in many cases, it's a generational thing. My parents very much followed the traditional split of responsibilities--he brought home the bacon, and she ran the household. He never cooked, and could barely follow a recipe.  A lot changed after he retired :)

He had to cook his own bacon? :)

OtherJen

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5267
  • Location: Metro Detroit
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7776 on: November 17, 2018, 07:18:53 AM »
I suspect that in many cases, it's a generational thing. My parents very much followed the traditional split of responsibilities--he brought home the bacon, and she ran the household. He never cooked, and could barely follow a recipe.  A lot changed after he retired :)


My husband grew up like this.  His sisters learned to cook and he didn't because he's a boy.  However he moved out of home at 18 and now we have 2 kids to feed in addition to ourselves.  We both work full time but his hours are more flexible so he often does the shopping and cooking. It's not rocket science. If he doesn't know how to cook something he Google recipes.

Sounds like my parents. My mom had to learn to cook when my grandfather went on medical disability and my grandma went to work. God forbid that her brothers learned any kitchen skills. Her younger brother took cooking classes as an adult and hosted some memorably delicious family holiday meals, but her older brother remains stymied by anything more complex than a sandwich (his wife never worked outside the home).

My dad grew up in a Mexican immigrant household with strict gender roles, and my grandmother’s cooking was legendary. Although he liked to be in the kitchen with his mom (dad was the youngest son and a mama’s boy), she never actually let him do the work. Retirement has been good for him because he’s discovered that he’s actually a good cook and now does all cooking and grocery shopping (mom still works full time). Google and YouTube have been huge helps; if he doesn’t know how to do something, he looks up a video.

dragoncar

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 10047
  • Registered member
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7777 on: November 18, 2018, 12:26:05 AM »
I know an older guy who can't/doesn't cook - when his wife goes away she leaves meals for him. But what really blew me away was that what she leaves is sandwiches, on plates, with plastic wrap over them. Because his level of can't cook is such that he can't warm up a casserole or make his own sandwich. So crazy, esp because this is a man who machined me a new gear for my stand mixer, and made a stair railing for a neighbor. Cooking is harder than metalwork, I guess? People are so endlessly fascinating.

Usually won’t, not can’t.  That said, cooking does take practice to become proficient.  I feel like I didn’t learn to cook until after I was FI.  Before that I was passable, but I just didn’t have the time to really refine my instincts

Tempname23

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 226
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7778 on: November 18, 2018, 05:56:09 PM »
Anyways I am not going to make the same mistake and shoo my kids out of the kitchen.

  I have a different regret, I didn't teach my son all the home repair knowledge I picked up from my father.
If I have the desire I can do almost any home repair needed, I also can do electrical/electronic repairs as needed.
 I did give my daughter some of that knowledge, she was about three years older, but my son was always on his computer and I didn't want to bother him. I now wish I had made him get involved in some of those home repairs.
  A few days ago while doing some of the repairs needed after hurricane Micheal, I was using a sawzall that I got from my dad when he died 15 years ago, I got emotional just thinking about all the things that he passed along to me just doing things that needed doing around the house. He was a carpenter by trade. I'm 63 years old and still
thinking about what dad taught me when I was young. Thanks Dad!

mm1970

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 12008
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7779 on: November 19, 2018, 01:24:10 PM »
I suspect that in many cases, it's a generational thing. My parents very much followed the traditional split of responsibilities--he brought home the bacon, and she ran the household. He never cooked, and could barely follow a recipe.  A lot changed after he retired :)


My husband grew up like this.  His sisters learned to cook and he didn't because he's a boy.  However he moved out of home at 18 and now we have 2 kids to feed in addition to ourselves.  We both work full time but his hours are more flexible so he often does the shopping and cooking. It's not rocket science. If he doesn't know how to cook something he Google recipes.
I can see this.  My parents had a similar division of labor.  When they divorced, my dad started cooking, and he was quite good at it.

I never learned to cook.  I helped out every summer with canning (pickles, corn, jam, green beans), but never cooking.  I think maybe because I had so many older sisters.  Basically, I ended up doing dishes/ setting the table.  So did my younger brother.

I could make a sandwich or bowl of cereal.  In college, I learned to make mac and cheese, canned soup, and ramen.

In the Navy, I would occasionally try to cook things.  They were okay.  I usually cut or burned myself though. 

At 31.5, when I was fat on my husband's cooking, I learned to cook to lose weight.  Now I'm a great cook, if I do say so myself.

I'm struggling with the kids though.  They both went through the phase at about 4-6 where they were excited to "help".  Now the big kid is 12, shows no interest.  We got him to help a bit 2 summers ago, but he's really really resistant.  And honestly, we don't have the patience to teach him.  He doesn't listen (too busy talking about other things), and we are busy and just want to get food on the table.  We don't eat cereal and he doesn't like sandwiches.

Today is a bit of a test.  No school this week.  He's home alone. Husband asked if one of us was going to drive home to feed him.  Nope.  I left instructions on how he can microwave the last slice of pizza.  There'a  bit of salad left too.  He just got braces, so the raw apples and carrots are out.  We do have bananas.

Tomorrow is an even bigger test.  Because no more pizza.  I do not trust him to use the oven on his own.  I think tonight or tomorrow we will make him make his own lunch.  Otherwise, I know he'll just eat the breakfast bars.  He did that before... but then they are all gone.

Christmas will be another 2 weeks of many days on his own.  We can do it!  Time to rip off the bandaid!

zolotiyeruki

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5833
  • Location: State: Denial
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7780 on: November 19, 2018, 02:26:05 PM »
I'm struggling with the kids though.  They both went through the phase at about 4-6 where they were excited to "help".  Now the big kid is 12, shows no interest.  We got him to help a bit 2 summers ago, but he's really really resistant.  And honestly, we don't have the patience to teach him.  He doesn't listen (too busy talking about other things), and we are busy and just want to get food on the table.  We don't eat cereal and he doesn't like sandwiches.
I can totally sympathize.  We've done a couple things to help with this:
1) our kids are responsible for their own lunches once they're 4-5 years old.  We homeschool, so it's not a packed lunch, but they've learned how to make PB&J, grilled cheese, ramen, etc for themselves (it varies by age).
2) each kid has an assigned evening each week where they help cook dinner.  I'll admit that the "help" usually consists of setting the table, for reasons similar to yours.  But we're getting better.

Goldielocks

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7020
  • Location: BC
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7781 on: November 20, 2018, 02:16:00 AM »
mm1970
My 15 year old who can make his own food, but chooses not to...   Well, he spent 4 days pretty much on his own last summer.   I think he ate about 8 cans of tuna, because you can just open it and open a box of crackers.   And eat.  (once the granola bars and fast frozen foods were all gone, anyway).   

Arbitrage

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1482
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7782 on: November 20, 2018, 01:19:19 PM »
Returned from a camping trip with friends.  One of the families that showed, whom I know have frequently had issues staying above water financially, drove up in a new truck towing a new to them (admittedly used and purchased for a decent price) travel trailer/camper.  They also tend to have a house full of the latest gadgets.

She revealed that she had also just purchased herself a Tesla.  She was three years ago from a milestone birthday, for which she claimed she always promised herself a nice car.  Her reasoning for purchasing it now:

- "While my commute now is only 5 minutes, I've been looking to apply to other jobs that might be far away, and I'm going to want a nice car for those drives."
- "If I get one of those jobs, I'll save lots of money on gas."
- "Though I don't have a car payment now, if I trade in my current car, the resulting car payment is only about as much as I was contributing in savings (to some type of tax-advantaged work plan, didn't get the details).  I'll just redirect the savings into the car payment, and it won't affect my budget at all!"
- "Why make myself suffer for three more years driving my current (perfectly functional) car, if I can have the Tesla now?"

I did my best not to criticize at all; not my business.  I did mention that I dropped myself off the Tesla wait list and started commuting to work on an e-bike, while stating that with so little driving in my life now, I don't even care that much that my car is ugly, slow, and old. 

Nice people, but no mysteries on why they have the financial problems they do.

marty998

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7372
  • Location: Sydney, Oz
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7783 on: November 20, 2018, 01:37:49 PM »
- "While my commute now is only 5 minutes, I've been looking to apply to other jobs that might be far away, and I'm going to want a nice car for those drives."
- "If I get one of those jobs, I'll save lots of money on gas."
- "Though I don't have a car payment now, if I trade in my current car, the resulting car payment is only about as much as I was contributing in savings (to some type of tax-advantaged work plan, didn't get the details).  I'll just redirect the savings into the car payment, and it won't affect my budget at all!"
- "Why make myself suffer for three more years driving my current (perfectly functional) car, if I can have the Tesla now?"

I'm guessing I would dislike this woman. I am, however, insanely curious as to where one would learn this type of logic.

dcheesi

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1384
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7784 on: November 20, 2018, 01:40:41 PM »
- "While my commute now is only 5 minutes, I've been looking to apply to other jobs that might be far away, and I'm going to want a nice car for those drives."
- "If I get one of those jobs, I'll save lots of money on gas."
- "Though I don't have a car payment now, if I trade in my current car, the resulting car payment is only about as much as I was contributing in savings (to some type of tax-advantaged work plan, didn't get the details).  I'll just redirect the savings into the car payment, and it won't affect my budget at all!"
- "Why make myself suffer for three more years driving my current (perfectly functional) car, if I can have the Tesla now?"

I'm guessing I would dislike this woman. I am, however, insanely curious as to where one would learn this type of logic.
Everyone is capable of "motivated reasoning" when we want something badly enough, and don't care enough about the consequences.

What takes real talent is keeping it up after the fact, expecially when it sounds as foolish as that coming out of one's mouth...

mm1970

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 12008
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7785 on: November 20, 2018, 01:41:50 PM »
mm1970
My 15 year old who can make his own food, but chooses not to...   Well, he spent 4 days pretty much on his own last summer.   I think he ate about 8 cans of tuna, because you can just open it and open a box of crackers.   And eat.  (once the granola bars and fast frozen foods were all gone, anyway).
Granola bars are gone today.  I think he'll end up with leftover broccoli, crackers, cheese, and bananas.

yesterday, apparently he texted my husband that he was hungry, and "what can I eat?"

Well, some of that is my own fault for being a control freak, and making sure that he eats fruits and vegetables.  "Can I have...?" is usually answered with "no, eat a vegetable".

My husband had a TON of fun with this.  Texted back.
- make a sandwich
- eat a banana
- have some crackers
- make yourself a quesadilla
- go over to J's house and give them the puppy dog "I'm hungry" look (we feed their kids all the time when they are over)
- grab some of your money and walk to the grocery store (about 3/4 of a mile) and buy something (Apparently the neighbors couldn't believe he typed this!)

I think kiddo was disappointed.  He wanted to be told what to eat. 

Fly young man.  Fly.  Feed yourself!

Too bad we also ran out of ramen.

Hirondelle

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1598
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7786 on: November 20, 2018, 11:56:19 PM »
How is 'make a sandwich' or 'eat a banana' not being told what to eat??

OtherJen

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5267
  • Location: Metro Detroit
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7787 on: November 21, 2018, 07:41:37 AM »
How is 'make a sandwich' or 'eat a banana' not being told what to eat??

Maybe he wanted step-by-step instructions?

ixtap

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4930
  • Age: 52
  • Location: SoCal
    • Our Sea Story
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7788 on: November 21, 2018, 09:05:34 AM »
How is 'make a sandwich' or 'eat a banana' not being told what to eat??

If my husband was out of pasta, I would have to tell him exactly what to have for dinner. He eats the same meals day after day because choosing food when he is hungry is overwhelming for him.

partgypsy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5802
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7789 on: November 21, 2018, 11:03:09 AM »
Some of my fond memories is of my youngest. Right after she was born, when first trying to nurse her, she latched on like a champ. And I remember thinking, well I'm not going to have to worry about her starving to death! And that was true for nursing. And while she was a toddler starting around 3, if she was hungry she would do things like open the fridge and take stuff out to eat (though sometimes forget to put it back), or pushed a chair up to the upper cabinets so she could climb up and reach the cereal and snacks, even pouring herself bowls of cereal. And I remember thinking again, well at least I don't have to worry about this one starving to death! I do have to limit the amount of chips in the house however, because she has an infinite capacity for eating them and will keep sneaking them until they are gone.

My oldest did go through a lazy period, (maybe still in it?) I remember her laying in bed moaning, that she hasn't had breakfast, or lunch yet...
« Last Edit: November 21, 2018, 11:04:42 AM by partgypsy »

I'm a red panda

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8185
  • Location: United States
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7790 on: November 21, 2018, 11:28:51 AM »
How is 'make a sandwich' or 'eat a banana' not being told what to eat??

If my husband was out of pasta, I would have to tell him exactly what to have for dinner. He eats the same meals day after day because choosing food when he is hungry is overwhelming for him.
I think I have this issue.

People say not to grocery shop on an empty stomach because it's bad for your budget.

But if I'm hungry, I end up not buying anything. Even things on my list. I convince myself it no longer sounds good and I don't want to eat it.

If I wait to prepare food when I'm hungry, I eat spaghetti, cereal, or nothing, because choice is overwhelming.

mm1970

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 12008
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7791 on: November 21, 2018, 11:37:31 AM »
How is 'make a sandwich' or 'eat a banana' not being told what to eat??
In his defense, he doesn't like sandwiches (where did this kid come from??)  He also doesn't like meat.

Not my problem.  Okay, if you don't want a PB&J sandwich, have a spoonful of peanut butter.

Otherwise, I would have said "eat a few slices of turkey and some cheese".

Husband said "don't get cracker crumbs all over the couch or table!"  He listened.

They were all over the kitchen counter and the kitchen floor.  Sigh.

letsdoit

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 405
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7792 on: November 21, 2018, 02:31:33 PM »
my brain is kind of exploding here. 
able bodied people who supposedly don't know how to eat, or have bad digestion when not served by their wife, or similar qualms
they have an unmet need

ScreamingHeadGuy

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 342
  • Age: 46
  • Location: Down the street from the Frozen Tundra
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7793 on: November 21, 2018, 06:13:25 PM »
I remember My sister (1 year older) and I could be left home and survive by making Mac and cheese, bake a frozen pizza, and bake chocolate chip cookies by the time I was 10. 

One time baking cookies we ran out of flour, but made the batch anyways.  That experience thought me how important following a recipe is, or at least the importance of flour.

jinga nation

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2828
  • Age: 248
  • Location: 'Murica's Dong
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7794 on: November 21, 2018, 08:51:42 PM »
I want to start a business where I charge USD 1000 a week to yell at these men, women and teens, and break their bad habits and put basic life self-suffciencies in them. A life-skills boot camp. If I fail by Friday 4pm, then they get 50% back.
Then franchise the concept.

ixtap

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4930
  • Age: 52
  • Location: SoCal
    • Our Sea Story
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7795 on: November 22, 2018, 05:26:15 AM »
I want to start a business where I charge USD 1000 a week to yell at these men, women and teens, and break their bad habits and put basic life self-suffciencies in them. A life-skills boot camp. If I fail by Friday 4pm, then they get 50% back.
Then franchise the concept.

My husband is probably on the Autism spectrum and lives with chonic pain. We will just continue to stock up on his default meals.

Hirondelle

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1598
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7796 on: November 22, 2018, 05:49:06 AM »
An old neighbour of me is moving to another country. It's a warm country, so no winter gear required. Her mom's just posting on facebook how beloved daughter has left with over 50kgs(!!) of luggage. This is for a single person and mostly summer-clothing? I don't think I even own 50 kgs of stuff. Not to think of the ridiculous fees that have to be paid for a 2nd (and maybe 3rd?) suitcase.

flipboard

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 291
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7797 on: November 22, 2018, 02:14:07 PM »
An old neighbour of me is moving to another country. It's a warm country, so no winter gear required. Her mom's just posting on facebook how beloved daughter has left with over 50kgs(!!) of luggage. This is for a single person and mostly summer-clothing? I don't think I even own 50 kgs of stuff. Not to think of the ridiculous fees that have to be paid for a 2nd (and maybe 3rd?) suitcase.
You may wish to try putting all your belongings in one suitcase, followed by weighing it. Please do let us know how you get on.

(Suitcase fees aren't all that bad, and they certainly are cheaper than paying to move more belongings, especially once removals companies get involved. Overall, 50kg in checked bags is a rather mustachian way to move countries. Especially if they took any household appliances or other similar items with them.)
« Last Edit: November 22, 2018, 02:15:56 PM by flipboard »

PrairieBeardstache

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 65
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7798 on: November 22, 2018, 02:32:58 PM »
An old neighbour of me is moving to another country. It's a warm country, so no winter gear required. Her mom's just posting on facebook how beloved daughter has left with over 50kgs(!!) of luggage. This is for a single person and mostly summer-clothing? I don't think I even own 50 kgs of stuff. Not to think of the ridiculous fees that have to be paid for a 2nd (and maybe 3rd?) suitcase.
You may wish to try putting all your belongings in one suitcase, followed by weighing it. Please do let us know how you get on.

(Suitcase fees aren't all that bad, and they certainly are cheaper than paying to move more belongings, especially once removals companies get involved. Overall, 50kg in checked bags is a rather mustachian way to move countries. Especially if they took any household appliances or other similar items with them.)

50kg = 110lbs

I travel pretty light but on a ski vacation with a single bag that bag weighed 40lbs. 110lbs for someone moving isn't much stuff. It's probably two of the larger suitcases.

Kyle Schuant

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1314
  • Location: Melbourne, Australia
Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #7799 on: November 22, 2018, 10:39:36 PM »
I've moved states a few times, and countries too. I didn't carry 50kg of stuff.

Basically you just need a few sets of clothes and anything truly precious to you, like printed photos and things.  Especially nowadays with phone and laptops and kindles and so on, all the photos and papers and books people used to carry around are now shrunk a lot. Everything else you can just buy in the new place. Everyday stuff like clothing, toasters, etc, isn't that expensive in the Western world these days.

Last time I visited the US, at customs I was asked, "Any reason you're travelling so light, sir?" I just had a daypack like many people take to uni or work. "I'm only here for a week and a bit," I said, "plus I used to be Army." When whatever you decide to take you've had to carry on your back for 25km a day, this tends to make you want to pack light.

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!