+1. Meanwhile, my daughter received a 4 foot VTech plastic abomination (aka princess castle) from a well meaning aunt... there is no f'n volume control
I can't stand it that people who buy presents don't clear it with the parents, if not to at least ensure it's not a duplicate. It's getting to the point where I can't even buy presents for my own kid.
Can you put tape over the speakers until it is a reasonable volume?
Or would that be a waste when it is on it's way out the door?
Hmm, I was too irritated at the thing to even consider that. I'm currently negotiating to donate it, but if I fail (because I'm told the gift giver will be upset and offended if we donate) I'll be sure to do that!
On a related note, why does the gift giver deserve to be offended if her gift is donated? If anything, I'd be mortified and apologetic if I gave someone such a gargantuan and unwanted item.
If the consensus is being offended is okay, what is the gift threshold before this becomes not okay? For instance, if I framed a used tissue and gave it to someone in the name of art, would that person be pressured to keep it under the same premise?
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If it helps at all - someone donating a gift I give would upset me in the sense that it would indicate that I had chosen wrongly, given something they didn't like, made a social misstep, or something like that. It's basically a highlight of a bad choice that demonstrates a lack of knowledge of the person I'd be trying to please, and that's embarassing/awkward, and I'd feel bad.
THAT said. Feeling bad after missteping is normal and natural, and happens, and dealing with it is something most people should learn as toddlers and preschoolers (right up there with "sometimes you are not invited to a thing other people are going to" and "feeling bad when you hurt someone is ok. Now go apologize and make it better." Basic life lessons, yo.) Outsourcing your emotional care to others is bullshit. I, personally, might feel bad about choosing a "wrong" gift, but that's a sign to do better/different next time, not that they're responsible for coddling my emotions and pretending I did good.
Does that make sense?
(That said. If an adult has not yet learned their own emotional coping mechanisms, and are outsourcing the coddling of emotions to the point where it's a socially expected thing to do, there will be social consequences for not falling in line with the family expectations. It's bullshit, and not right, but you'll have to deal with them anyway. Sorry.)