I got engaged last week and from what I hear she's fuming that I'm "beating" her. She seems to think life is a competition, and she should be winning.
Well that's your problem. Your friend is still a teenager. It's one thing if she's jealous or if it forces to reflect on her life state, but quite another to think of her life as a competition. Also, what the heck does "winning" even consist of?
I don't have a complete picture, but from what I can tell, her definition of 'winning' is extremely narrow (and materialistic).
As far as I can tell, it involves owning your own house, driving a luxury vehicle, being married or engaged to a wealthy man who presumably can afford to keep you in this manner, and kids with all the trimmings (idk, they do piano and tennis, I guess?). And at least one international holiday a year. That means you're winning. And designer clothes, italian leather shoes and the latest release video games.
Oh, and TV's. Gotta have at least two TV's because if you don't you're 'failing at life'.
Not by choice - she was at a party I was attending - but I saw her yesterday. I've tried to avoid her because (as I said earlier) I know what she's like when she feels like somebody else is doing 'better' than her. Had I not known her well enough to realise she was all bitter and jealous of me I would have found her antics amusing rather than cringeworthy. She gave an insincere congratulations on my engagement (the kind laden with backhanded compliments and a mocking tone), and I later overheard her talking about how cars of the make and model I own are pieces of junk and "aren't a real car". I have a feeling she hoped I overheard that, but... It's funny, I don't recall hearing any of these complaints when I gave her rides in my "junk" car when her "real" car broke down?
I don't want to be one of those people who laughs at others expense, but this is absolutely ridiculous. I really don't think my life is 'better', it's just different. It must really bug her that people value different things.
I won't lie - this "rivalry" she has made out of thin air really bothers me. I try to avoid her and keep my social media locked down in the hope she'll stop comparing herself to me, but that hasn't happened so far because we have a lot of mutual friends. I won't think about her for months, then I run into her and she starts with this weird passive-aggressive social display. It makes me deeply uncomfortable because feels like I'm an involuntary entrant in some competition of her devising.