Author Topic: Overheard on Facebook  (Read 1824776 times)

Dollar Slice

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4150 on: March 21, 2016, 08:29:00 AM »
- Said I was bad with finances for buying one or two CD's every 6-12 months instead of paying for a music streaming subscription.

I read this and thought, how could coin possibly be bad with money for buying certificates of deposit?

And then I realized I'm an idiot.
Don't beat yourself up--I had the same reaction.  In fact, I didn't realize my mistake until I read your reply! :)

Me too, except my reaction was more like, "OK, so those are a pretty bad investment right now, but what does it have to do with music?"

And I buy compact discs on a regular basis...
...it's not at all alarming that people have started quoting me in their siggy lines.

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4151 on: March 21, 2016, 08:29:07 AM »
- Said I was bad with finances for buying one or two CD's every 6-12 months instead of paying for a music streaming subscription.

I read this and thought, how could coin possibly be bad with money for buying certificates of deposit?

And then I realized I'm an idiot.
Don't beat yourself up--I had the same reaction.  In fact, I didn't realize my mistake until I read your reply! :)

lol - same. :)

JLee

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4152 on: March 21, 2016, 08:29:26 AM »
One of my friends posted "good news: got tax return" and then "bad news: had it for less than a day."

I was prepared to post that here, but it sounds like they used it to pay off a student loan so... I guess it might not fit :)

I had mine for less than a day too.

$1500 to go and my 2016 IRA will be done. :P

4alpacas

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4153 on: March 21, 2016, 11:01:55 AM »
- Said I was bad with finances for buying one or two CD's every 6-12 months instead of paying for a music streaming subscription.

I read this and thought, how could coin possibly be bad with money for buying certificates of deposit?

And then I realized I'm an idiot.
Don't beat yourself up--I had the same reaction.  In fact, I didn't realize my mistake until I read your reply! :)

lol - same. :)
Oops!  I didn't notice my oversight until I read merula's comment. 

mm1970

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4154 on: March 21, 2016, 11:35:10 AM »
I guess it is judgemental of me, and I work hard not to be

No I disagree, I don't think you're being judgmental. Though I understanding you could feel so.


Maybe it is just jealousy in a way, because I decided to stop having kids at 2, partly for financial reasons.  I feel like way too many women who are undecided about having another kid are persuaded to have another and to "follow your heart".  Or "you'll never regret having another kid".  My feeling is a lot of people do regret it but won't admit it.

Yeah, that's how I feel. I can't say I understand your position as I do not have kids, but I know a ton of people that have kids that they can't afford and then will complain about they are "unlucky," due to a random event, which I don't are all that random (if you have an older house, there is more upkeep required, and must plan for expenses that crop up).
3 is the new 2, don'tcha know!

It's interesting because I feel like when I was in my 20s, maybe early 30s, when most normal people I know were having kids, it was 2, maybe only 1.  Money, environment - whatever reason.  Two.

(I say "normal people" because I was 35.75 and 42 when I had mine).

Now it seems like there are a lot more 3s and 4s.  I have a couple of friends with 4, several with 3.  And in my "toddler" group, there are a LOT of women having a 3rd, compared to my older son's group (where there is one person with 3 and two with 4, but most are at 2.)

I've had a few people actually tell me to have a third.  Now, I know that I *look* young, but at least a couple of these people KNOW that I'm almost 46 years old.  Um, guys, eggs are toast and even if there were one or two good ones, nope.  Hubs took care of that.

mm1970

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4155 on: March 21, 2016, 11:45:14 AM »
Quote
A (very small) part of me was weirdly pleased that I'm apparently so awesome she sees me as "the competition".  The rest of me feels awkward and annoyed because I'm dead certain I haven't done anything wrong and she only wants to rain on my parade to make herself feel better about whatever is going on in her life.

Pretty fascinating when you get entered into a race without knowing it! 
I find it interesting that people do this. They compete with you for no reason.  It's best to avoid them, but sometimes you can't.  It's OKAY that you value different things, it's ok!! 

Long long ago, I was in a small nuke school for the Navy, 11 people.  9 men, 2 women.  Naturally, the other woman and I bonded a bit.  We both were sharing apartments with guys. It was 6 months of school, we were all ensigns. 

For some reason, she was seen as "cool" by one of the guys.  He REALLY wanted to hang out with her.  She just shrugged and didn't get why he thought she was so cool.  (I can tell you.  She was smart, nice, fun.  Generally a great person.  That's why I liked her BUT she also went to MIT and Stanford, and liked to ski.  Very outdoorsy.)  He got upset that we were friends.  In *his* mind, SHE was cool and HE was cool and two of the other guys were cool, and she had no business hanging out with me.

I don't experience that so much anymore. 

JordanOfGilead

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4156 on: March 21, 2016, 11:50:12 AM »
Quote
A (very small) part of me was weirdly pleased that I'm apparently so awesome she sees me as "the competition".  The rest of me feels awkward and annoyed because I'm dead certain I haven't done anything wrong and she only wants to rain on my parade to make herself feel better about whatever is going on in her life.

Pretty fascinating when you get entered into a race without knowing it! 
Even better when you find out that you're winning!

coin

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4157 on: March 21, 2016, 10:45:46 PM »
Quote
A (very small) part of me was weirdly pleased that I'm apparently so awesome she sees me as "the competition".  The rest of me feels awkward and annoyed because I'm dead certain I haven't done anything wrong and she only wants to rain on my parade to make herself feel better about whatever is going on in her life.

Pretty fascinating when you get entered into a race without knowing it! 
Even better when you find out that you're winning!

My SO and I were talking about this the other night and he said "yeah, it's not a competition.... But if it were, we'd be winning..."

I realised today that she doesn't even know the half of it. If she knew about my stash, FI or my job, she would have conniptions.

(I really just wanted to use the word conniptions)

Also overheard from Facebook - an acquaintance has had to declare bankruptcy because he speculaated on property and lost. But that's ok! He can always buy another!

BTDretire

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4158 on: March 22, 2016, 06:43:41 AM »

And maco, that's pretty funny. Your kids achievements - what a thing to be competitive over.

First it's who can build the most impressive sandcastle, then it's who gets the best grades and runs fastest, then it's who gets into the most prestigious school or job, then finally it's your kids achievements?

(Is that how it works?)

  I married into the Asian community, yes that's how it works.
They get together and brag on their kids, grades, school, income, house, etc.
I just hope they're happy with their life, even if it's from artistic persuit. :-)

ender

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4159 on: March 22, 2016, 06:49:31 AM »

And maco, that's pretty funny. Your kids achievements - what a thing to be competitive over.

First it's who can build the most impressive sandcastle, then it's who gets the best grades and runs fastest, then it's who gets into the most prestigious school or job, then finally it's your kids achievements?

(Is that how it works?)

  I married into the Asian community, yes that's how it works.
They get together and brag on their kids, grades, school, income, house, etc.
I just hope they're happy with their life, even if it's from artistic persuit. :-)

I don't think it's just the Asian community.

I think this happens all over the place for anyone who is remotely middle class or higher.

Apples

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4160 on: March 22, 2016, 07:58:32 AM »
I guess it is judgemental of me, and I work hard not to be

No I disagree, I don't think you're being judgmental. Though I understanding you could feel so.


Maybe it is just jealousy in a way, because I decided to stop having kids at 2, partly for financial reasons.  I feel like way too many women who are undecided about having another kid are persuaded to have another and to "follow your heart".  Or "you'll never regret having another kid".  My feeling is a lot of people do regret it but won't admit it.

Yeah, that's how I feel. I can't say I understand your position as I do not have kids, but I know a ton of people that have kids that they can't afford and then will complain about they are "unlucky," due to a random event, which I don't are all that random (if you have an older house, there is more upkeep required, and must plan for expenses that crop up).
3 is the new 2, don'tcha know!

It's interesting because I feel like when I was in my 20s, maybe early 30s, when most normal people I know were having kids, it was 2, maybe only 1.  Money, environment - whatever reason.  Two.

(I say "normal people" because I was 35.75 and 42 when I had mine).

Now it seems like there are a lot more 3s and 4s.  I have a couple of friends with 4, several with 3.  And in my "toddler" group, there are a LOT of women having a 3rd, compared to my older son's group (where there is one person with 3 and two with 4, but most are at 2.)

I've had a few people actually tell me to have a third.  Now, I know that I *look* young, but at least a couple of these people KNOW that I'm almost 46 years old.  Um, guys, eggs are toast and even if there were one or two good ones, nope.  Hubs took care of that.

Soooo I know several couples, including my parents who had a third kid when their older ones were in elementary school and preschool.  In more than half the cases I know of, those children could be considered "oops" babies.  So there's that...

Kitsune

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4161 on: March 22, 2016, 08:28:30 AM »
I guess it is judgemental of me, and I work hard not to be

No I disagree, I don't think you're being judgmental. Though I understanding you could feel so.


Maybe it is just jealousy in a way, because I decided to stop having kids at 2, partly for financial reasons.  I feel like way too many women who are undecided about having another kid are persuaded to have another and to "follow your heart".  Or "you'll never regret having another kid".  My feeling is a lot of people do regret it but won't admit it.

Yeah, that's how I feel. I can't say I understand your position as I do not have kids, but I know a ton of people that have kids that they can't afford and then will complain about they are "unlucky," due to a random event, which I don't are all that random (if you have an older house, there is more upkeep required, and must plan for expenses that crop up).
3 is the new 2, don'tcha know!

It's interesting because I feel like when I was in my 20s, maybe early 30s, when most normal people I know were having kids, it was 2, maybe only 1.  Money, environment - whatever reason.  Two.

(I say "normal people" because I was 35.75 and 42 when I had mine).

Now it seems like there are a lot more 3s and 4s.  I have a couple of friends with 4, several with 3.  And in my "toddler" group, there are a LOT of women having a 3rd, compared to my older son's group (where there is one person with 3 and two with 4, but most are at 2.)

I've had a few people actually tell me to have a third.  Now, I know that I *look* young, but at least a couple of these people KNOW that I'm almost 46 years old.  Um, guys, eggs are toast and even if there were one or two good ones, nope.  Hubs took care of that.

Soooo I know several couples, including my parents who had a third kid when their older ones were in elementary school and preschool.  In more than half the cases I know of, those children could be considered "oops" babies.  So there's that...

I was talking about this with some of my (female) colleagues last week... all of who have 2 kids, max. My husband and I are aiming for 3, possibly 4, with the option of fostering after that.

One of my colleagues actually said 'if my husband did as much childcare as yours does, I'd have had more, but I couldn't take care of everything for more than 2 kids if I was the only one doing work!'

... not sure that extrapolates across North America, but I thought it was a perceptive statement... 'cause, honestly, a HUGE thing factoring into me wanting more kids is the fact that my husband is an incredibly involved father. 2am wake-ups needing an hour of rocking? He does 'em. Bathtime is usually a dad thing. He takes our daughter to her swim class. They play together. If I was the one doing all of it, HELLS NO would I be looking at more kids.

So: generational difference? Yes/no/maybe?

maco

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4162 on: March 22, 2016, 08:39:06 AM »

And maco, that's pretty funny. Your kids achievements - what a thing to be competitive over.

First it's who can build the most impressive sandcastle, then it's who gets the best grades and runs fastest, then it's who gets into the most prestigious school or job, then finally it's your kids achievements?

(Is that how it works?)

  I married into the Asian community, yes that's how it works.
They get together and brag on their kids, grades, school, income, house, etc.
I just hope they're happy with their life, even if it's from artistic persuit. :-)

I don't think it's just the Asian community.

I think this happens all over the place for anyone who is remotely middle class or higher.
For the record, there is nothing Asian about my family. Dad's Sicilian/Irish-American, and she's Italian-American.

(Hey, our cousins in Sicily insist we are Sicilian, not Italian)

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4163 on: March 22, 2016, 08:41:58 AM »
... a HUGE thing factoring into me wanting more kids is the fact that my husband is an incredibly involved father. 2am wake-ups needing an hour of rocking? He does 'em. Bathtime is usually a dad thing. He takes our daughter to her swim class. They play together. If I was the one doing all of it, HELLS NO would I be looking at more kids.

So: generational difference? Yes/no/maybe?
The other parent's level of involvement certainly makes a difference, but it's also a generational thing.  My dad wasn't super involved with the kids, but they still had 9.  One thing I've noticed is that as you have more kids, you learn to handle it.  When we had 2 kids, it seemed like it was all we could handle.  Now we have 6, and it seems like it's all we can handle :)

nobodyspecial

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4164 on: March 22, 2016, 08:42:29 AM »

I don't think it's just the Asian community.

I think this happens all over the place for anyone who is remotely middle class or higher.
Much more relaxed among Jewish mothers - they don't care whether the child becomes surgeon general or follows his dreams and gets on the supreme court.

mm1970

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4165 on: March 22, 2016, 09:39:14 AM »
I guess it is judgemental of me, and I work hard not to be

No I disagree, I don't think you're being judgmental. Though I understanding you could feel so.


Maybe it is just jealousy in a way, because I decided to stop having kids at 2, partly for financial reasons.  I feel like way too many women who are undecided about having another kid are persuaded to have another and to "follow your heart".  Or "you'll never regret having another kid".  My feeling is a lot of people do regret it but won't admit it.

Yeah, that's how I feel. I can't say I understand your position as I do not have kids, but I know a ton of people that have kids that they can't afford and then will complain about they are "unlucky," due to a random event, which I don't are all that random (if you have an older house, there is more upkeep required, and must plan for expenses that crop up).
3 is the new 2, don'tcha know!

It's interesting because I feel like when I was in my 20s, maybe early 30s, when most normal people I know were having kids, it was 2, maybe only 1.  Money, environment - whatever reason.  Two.

(I say "normal people" because I was 35.75 and 42 when I had mine).

Now it seems like there are a lot more 3s and 4s.  I have a couple of friends with 4, several with 3.  And in my "toddler" group, there are a LOT of women having a 3rd, compared to my older son's group (where there is one person with 3 and two with 4, but most are at 2.)

I've had a few people actually tell me to have a third.  Now, I know that I *look* young, but at least a couple of these people KNOW that I'm almost 46 years old.  Um, guys, eggs are toast and even if there were one or two good ones, nope.  Hubs took care of that.

Soooo I know several couples, including my parents who had a third kid when their older ones were in elementary school and preschool.  In more than half the cases I know of, those children could be considered "oops" babies.  So there's that...
My second child, born when I was 42, may or may not have been an oops.  (To be clear, we'd tried for well over a year, then finally stopped trying, gave away the baby items, and THEN got pregnant.)

In my friends' cases, though - no, these are people who are spacing their 3 kids every year or two.  Intentional.

mm1970

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4166 on: March 22, 2016, 09:45:23 AM »
Quote
I was talking about this with some of my (female) colleagues last week... all of who have 2 kids, max. My husband and I are aiming for 3, possibly 4, with the option of fostering after that.

One of my colleagues actually said 'if my husband did as much childcare as yours does, I'd have had more, but I couldn't take care of everything for more than 2 kids if I was the only one doing work!'

... not sure that extrapolates across North America, but I thought it was a perceptive statement... 'cause, honestly, a HUGE thing factoring into me wanting more kids is the fact that my husband is an incredibly involved father. 2am wake-ups needing an hour of rocking? He does 'em. Bathtime is usually a dad thing. He takes our daughter to her swim class. They play together. If I was the one doing all of it, HELLS NO would I be looking at more kids.

So: generational difference? Yes/no/maybe?

Some of it is generational.  Some personality?

When my older son was born (10 years ago now), we had a new mom's/ new parent's group.  Now, a fair number of us were between the ages of 35-40 (first kid).  There was one mom who was 45.  Pretty sure she did IVF, and I remember meeting her a couple of times at the doctor's office and in baby classes.  Anyway, at one point, she was marveling at how involved our husbands were - and her husband didn't do much of anything with the baby.  I said "honey, he's 60!!  My father in law is 62!  In his generation, men just didn't do much."

Even so, I'd say there are a handful of the dads from this group who like to spend their weekends watching sports on TV or going golfing, instead of being with the kids.

My younger son's group, it's more arrested development - a fair number of wives complain about coming home from work to find dirty diapers all over, and their husband sitting on the couch playing video games.

Also, working/ not working parents change the dynamic.  I don't know anyone with 3+ kids where both parents work full time.  Generally there is a SAHM, or one parent works part time.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4167 on: March 22, 2016, 10:59:09 AM »
I guess it is judgemental of me, and I work hard not to be

No I disagree, I don't think you're being judgmental. Though I understanding you could feel so.


Maybe it is just jealousy in a way, because I decided to stop having kids at 2, partly for financial reasons.  I feel like way too many women who are undecided about having another kid are persuaded to have another and to "follow your heart".  Or "you'll never regret having another kid".  My feeling is a lot of people do regret it but won't admit it.

Yeah, that's how I feel. I can't say I understand your position as I do not have kids, but I know a ton of people that have kids that they can't afford and then will complain about they are "unlucky," due to a random event, which I don't are all that random (if you have an older house, there is more upkeep required, and must plan for expenses that crop up).
3 is the new 2, don'tcha know!

It's interesting because I feel like when I was in my 20s, maybe early 30s, when most normal people I know were having kids, it was 2, maybe only 1.  Money, environment - whatever reason.  Two.

(I say "normal people" because I was 35.75 and 42 when I had mine).

Now it seems like there are a lot more 3s and 4s.  I have a couple of friends with 4, several with 3.  And in my "toddler" group, there are a LOT of women having a 3rd, compared to my older son's group (where there is one person with 3 and two with 4, but most are at 2.)

I've had a few people actually tell me to have a third.  Now, I know that I *look* young, but at least a couple of these people KNOW that I'm almost 46 years old.  Um, guys, eggs are toast and even if there were one or two good ones, nope.  Hubs took care of that.
Is your local economy doing really well?  I think there are pretty large correlations between economic prosperity and birthraye, at least on a population level. 

But either way I'm glad these children will be paying into social security to support me in my old age :-p

Bicycle_B

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4168 on: March 22, 2016, 12:01:45 PM »

 One thing I've noticed is that as you have more kids, you learn to handle it.  When we had 2 kids, it seemed like it was all we could handle.  Now we have 6, and it seems like it's all we can handle :)

Favorite quote about 6 kids:  "I used to have 6 theories about raising kids, and no kids. Now I have 6 kids and no theories."  No idea who said it, though.

Travis

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4169 on: March 22, 2016, 12:33:01 PM »
So my friend just posted a picture of the rental she's got for the next 10 days while her truck is getting worked on (fender bender). It's a brand new Hyundai Accent hatchback.  Her comment was something like "I got a Hot Wheel. WTF is this?"  Along with a few complaints/comments about how she can't fit two adults in this thing (family is two adults, teenager, and newborn), it has no power, and the rental company needs to find her an SUV.  I bit my tongue, but I wanted to respond "It's a car. It's what the rest of us get by in."

marcela

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4170 on: March 22, 2016, 12:48:41 PM »
So my friend just posted a picture of the rental she's got for the next 10 days while her truck is getting worked on (fender bender). It's a brand new Hyundai Accent hatchback.  Her comment was something like "I got a Hot Wheel. WTF is this?"  Along with a few complaints/comments about how she can't fit two adults in this thing (family is two adults, teenager, and newborn), it has no power, and the rental company needs to find her an SUV.  I bit my tongue, but I wanted to respond "It's a car. It's what the rest of us get by in."

I have a Hyundai Accent hatchback. On our 5 hour trips to see my ILs, that thing fits two adults (one of which is 6'2"), two big suitcases, a dog crate with dog inside, a tote bag with dog supplies (food, treats, extra blankets so he doesn't get fur all over furniture, few toys), an xbox kinect (dancing games keeps the family from killing each other), groceries, and if it's christmas: presents for approximately 10 people. My little car is a beast.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4171 on: March 22, 2016, 12:51:29 PM »
My little car is a beast.

You're doing it right.

marcela

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4172 on: March 22, 2016, 12:57:41 PM »
My little car is a beast.

You're doing it right.

Thank you. Baby Blue turns 10 next year and only has 65k miles on him. No power locks or windows and I don't have cruise control. People think I'm nuts for loving that car as much as I do.
We are thinking of getting my husband a car next year when he graduates and that one will be a slightly larger 4 door. I worry how Baby Blue will do with a car seat.

mm1970

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4173 on: March 22, 2016, 02:29:50 PM »
Quote
Is your local economy doing really well?  I think there are pretty large correlations between economic prosperity and birthraye, at least on a population level. 

But either way I'm glad these children will be paying into social security to support me in my old age :-p

Not really, probably the opposite.  I sometimes think that once my friends realize they can't afford daycare for 2 kids and can't afford college for 2 kids, might as well have a third!

maco

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4174 on: March 22, 2016, 03:23:32 PM »
Even so, I'd say there are a handful of the dads from this group who like to spend their weekends watching sports on TV or going golfing, instead of being with the kids.
My dad is all about sports. I was 10 days old at my first major league baseball game.
So my friend just posted a picture of the rental she's got for the next 10 days while her truck is getting worked on (fender bender). It's a brand new Hyundai Accent hatchback.  Her comment was something like "I got a Hot Wheel. WTF is this?"  Along with a few complaints/comments about how she can't fit two adults in this thing (family is two adults, teenager, and newborn), it has no power, and the rental company needs to find her an SUV.  I bit my tongue, but I wanted to respond "It's a car. It's what the rest of us get by in."
Oh come on, I've done Pennsic as 2 adults in a Hyundai Accent hatchback including a canvas tent with 2x4s for poles, a wooden platform bed, and wooden tables. And I didn't have a roof rack.

coolistdude

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4175 on: March 22, 2016, 03:44:27 PM »
Overheard this one recently. Friend needs to move. It's just him and his fiancee. Yep, they want to rent a 3+ bedroom house. When I was at that stage, DW and I rented a single bedroom apartment.
The good: 27 years old, 1 car, not renting anymore.
The bad: Single income, only about $17k in retirement, and no FI date.
The ugly: 1 year ago I was doing much better but lost all possessions due to mold. It has been an emotional roller coaster.

Blog: http://bravelycontent.blogspot.com/

Zaga

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4176 on: March 22, 2016, 04:30:29 PM »
Even so, I'd say there are a handful of the dads from this group who like to spend their weekends watching sports on TV or going golfing, instead of being with the kids.
My dad is all about sports. I was 10 days old at my first major league baseball game.
So my friend just posted a picture of the rental she's got for the next 10 days while her truck is getting worked on (fender bender). It's a brand new Hyundai Accent hatchback.  Her comment was something like "I got a Hot Wheel. WTF is this?"  Along with a few complaints/comments about how she can't fit two adults in this thing (family is two adults, teenager, and newborn), it has no power, and the rental company needs to find her an SUV.  I bit my tongue, but I wanted to respond "It's a car. It's what the rest of us get by in."
Oh come on, I've done Pennsic as 2 adults in a Hyundai Accent hatchback including a canvas tent with 2x4s for poles, a wooden platform bed, and wooden tables. And I didn't have a roof rack.
That's impressive!  When I first started out I did Pennsic in a small car.  But then I lived like 20 miles away, so if I forgot something it was no problem to run and get it.

Seppia

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4177 on: March 23, 2016, 06:56:47 AM »

Overheard this one recently. Friend needs to move. It's just him and his fiancee. Yep, they want to rent a 3+ bedroom house. When I was at that stage, DW and I rented a single bedroom apartment.

This is quite something.
Big houses are a pain, more costs, more work to keep them clean, etc.
so inefficient.

slugline

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4178 on: March 23, 2016, 07:21:11 AM »
Overheard this one recently. Friend needs to move. It's just him and his fiancee. Yep, they want to rent a 3+ bedroom house. When I was at that stage, DW and I rented a single bedroom apartment.

I wouldn't make assumptions without seeing the numbers. I live in an area where the rent on a one-bedroom apartment is more than the mortgage payment (PITI) on my three-bedroom house. Real estate is oddly local.

ABC123

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4179 on: March 23, 2016, 01:16:19 PM »
I guess it is judgemental of me, and I work hard not to be

No I disagree, I don't think you're being judgmental. Though I understanding you could feel so.


Maybe it is just jealousy in a way, because I decided to stop having kids at 2, partly for financial reasons.  I feel like way too many women who are undecided about having another kid are persuaded to have another and to "follow your heart".  Or "you'll never regret having another kid".  My feeling is a lot of people do regret it but won't admit it.

Yeah, that's how I feel. I can't say I understand your position as I do not have kids, but I know a ton of people that have kids that they can't afford and then will complain about they are "unlucky," due to a random event, which I don't are all that random (if you have an older house, there is more upkeep required, and must plan for expenses that crop up).
3 is the new 2, don'tcha know!

It's interesting because I feel like when I was in my 20s, maybe early 30s, when most normal people I know were having kids, it was 2, maybe only 1.  Money, environment - whatever reason.  Two.

(I say "normal people" because I was 35.75 and 42 when I had mine).

Now it seems like there are a lot more 3s and 4s.  I have a couple of friends with 4, several with 3.  And in my "toddler" group, there are a LOT of women having a 3rd, compared to my older son's group (where there is one person with 3 and two with 4, but most are at 2.)

I've had a few people actually tell me to have a third.  Now, I know that I *look* young, but at least a couple of these people KNOW that I'm almost 46 years old.  Um, guys, eggs are toast and even if there were one or two good ones, nope.  Hubs took care of that.

Soooo I know several couples, including my parents who had a third kid when their older ones were in elementary school and preschool.  In more than half the cases I know of, those children could be considered "oops" babies.  So there's that...

/Raises hand . . . / Yup, I'm 38 and my boys are 5 and 7.  Younger one starts kindergarten in August and I was rather excited to finally be done with daycare.  Oops . . . newbie is due in November.  Guess we will get a few months away from the daycare.

iowajes

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4180 on: March 23, 2016, 01:31:08 PM »
I guess it is judgemental of me, and I work hard not to be

No I disagree, I don't think you're being judgmental. Though I understanding you could feel so.


Maybe it is just jealousy in a way, because I decided to stop having kids at 2, partly for financial reasons.  I feel like way too many women who are undecided about having another kid are persuaded to have another and to "follow your heart".  Or "you'll never regret having another kid".  My feeling is a lot of people do regret it but won't admit it.

Yeah, that's how I feel. I can't say I understand your position as I do not have kids, but I know a ton of people that have kids that they can't afford and then will complain about they are "unlucky," due to a random event, which I don't are all that random (if you have an older house, there is more upkeep required, and must plan for expenses that crop up).
3 is the new 2, don'tcha know!

It's interesting because I feel like when I was in my 20s, maybe early 30s, when most normal people I know were having kids, it was 2, maybe only 1.  Money, environment - whatever reason.  Two.

(I say "normal people" because I was 35.75 and 42 when I had mine).

Now it seems like there are a lot more 3s and 4s.  I have a couple of friends with 4, several with 3.  And in my "toddler" group, there are a LOT of women having a 3rd, compared to my older son's group (where there is one person with 3 and two with 4, but most are at 2.)

I've had a few people actually tell me to have a third.  Now, I know that I *look* young, but at least a couple of these people KNOW that I'm almost 46 years old.  Um, guys, eggs are toast and even if there were one or two good ones, nope.  Hubs took care of that.

Soooo I know several couples, including my parents who had a third kid when their older ones were in elementary school and preschool.  In more than half the cases I know of, those children could be considered "oops" babies.  So there's that...


How many of those "oops" happened when the woman was 46? 
I think the above example of when the first pair of kids was from mid20s to early 30s, and then a big gap to the "oops" (or "I miss having a baby, look how grown up they all are.") kid happening late 30s or maybe early 40s.  Having a kid in your late 40s is hard.
« Last Edit: March 23, 2016, 01:32:59 PM by iowajes »

maco

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4181 on: March 23, 2016, 01:45:31 PM »
Even so, I'd say there are a handful of the dads from this group who like to spend their weekends watching sports on TV or going golfing, instead of being with the kids.
My dad is all about sports. I was 10 days old at my first major league baseball game.
So my friend just posted a picture of the rental she's got for the next 10 days while her truck is getting worked on (fender bender). It's a brand new Hyundai Accent hatchback.  Her comment was something like "I got a Hot Wheel. WTF is this?"  Along with a few complaints/comments about how she can't fit two adults in this thing (family is two adults, teenager, and newborn), it has no power, and the rental company needs to find her an SUV.  I bit my tongue, but I wanted to respond "It's a car. It's what the rest of us get by in."
Oh come on, I've done Pennsic as 2 adults in a Hyundai Accent hatchback including a canvas tent with 2x4s for poles, a wooden platform bed, and wooden tables. And I didn't have a roof rack.
That's impressive!  When I first started out I did Pennsic in a small car.  But then I lived like 20 miles away, so if I forgot something it was no problem to run and get it.
I'm 5 hours away. Here's the bed in the trunk of the Accent

Zaga

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4182 on: March 23, 2016, 06:19:24 PM »
Even so, I'd say there are a handful of the dads from this group who like to spend their weekends watching sports on TV or going golfing, instead of being with the kids.
My dad is all about sports. I was 10 days old at my first major league baseball game.
So my friend just posted a picture of the rental she's got for the next 10 days while her truck is getting worked on (fender bender). It's a brand new Hyundai Accent hatchback.  Her comment was something like "I got a Hot Wheel. WTF is this?"  Along with a few complaints/comments about how she can't fit two adults in this thing (family is two adults, teenager, and newborn), it has no power, and the rental company needs to find her an SUV.  I bit my tongue, but I wanted to respond "It's a car. It's what the rest of us get by in."
Oh come on, I've done Pennsic as 2 adults in a Hyundai Accent hatchback including a canvas tent with 2x4s for poles, a wooden platform bed, and wooden tables. And I didn't have a roof rack.
That's impressive!  When I first started out I did Pennsic in a small car.  But then I lived like 20 miles away, so if I forgot something it was no problem to run and get it.
I'm 5 hours away. Here's the bed in the trunk of the Accent
Now we go in style, in an old RV converted to a vardo :-)  Cost us $300 to buy, a bit more than that to convert, but still less than many spend on tents.

ender

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4183 on: March 24, 2016, 05:42:21 AM »
Overheard this one recently. Friend needs to move. It's just him and his fiancee. Yep, they want to rent a 3+ bedroom house. When I was at that stage, DW and I rented a single bedroom apartment.

I wouldn't make assumptions without seeing the numbers. I live in an area where the rent on a one-bedroom apartment is more than the mortgage payment (PITI) on my three-bedroom house. Real estate is oddly local.

He was referring to renting a 3+ bedroom house, not buying.

slugline

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4184 on: March 24, 2016, 07:58:47 AM »
Overheard this one recently. Friend needs to move. It's just him and his fiancee. Yep, they want to rent a 3+ bedroom house. When I was at that stage, DW and I rented a single bedroom apartment.

I wouldn't make assumptions without seeing the numbers. I live in an area where the rent on a one-bedroom apartment is more than the mortgage payment (PITI) on my three-bedroom house. Real estate is oddly local.

He was referring to renting a 3+ bedroom house, not buying.

Right. But the numbers still matter. It doesn't matter whether you're buying or renting, there are more factors that go into prices than just square footage -- location, condition. motivation on the property owner's part, etc. The small one-bedroom apartment isn't always the winner.

theadvicist

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4185 on: March 24, 2016, 08:26:36 AM »
Overheard this one recently. Friend needs to move. It's just him and his fiancee. Yep, they want to rent a 3+ bedroom house. When I was at that stage, DW and I rented a single bedroom apartment.

I wouldn't make assumptions without seeing the numbers. I live in an area where the rent on a one-bedroom apartment is more than the mortgage payment (PITI) on my three-bedroom house. Real estate is oddly local.

He was referring to renting a 3+ bedroom house, not buying.

Right. But the numbers still matter. It doesn't matter whether you're buying or renting, there are more factors that go into prices than just square footage -- location, condition. motivation on the property owner's part, etc. The small one-bedroom apartment isn't always the winner.

But can't we assume from the OP's tone in the post that in the location of which they speak, yes, a one-bedroom would be the winner?

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4186 on: March 24, 2016, 12:12:49 PM »

Soooo I know several couples, including my parents who had a third kid when their older ones were in elementary school and preschool.  In more than half the cases I know of, those children could be considered "oops" babies.  So there's that...

/Raises hand . . . / Yup, I'm 38 and my boys are 5 and 7.  Younger one starts kindergarten in August and I was rather excited to finally be done with daycare.  Oops . . . newbie is due in November.  Guess we will get a few months away from the daycare.

Haha!  I was amazed in middle and high school to find out that we were one of 3 families that had exactly 3 kids all the same ages as me and my brothers.  And my school only graduates 125 kids a year, so I'm sure you'll find company where you live!

Quote
How many of those "oops" happened when the woman was 46? 
I think the above example of when the first pair of kids was from mid20s to early 30s, and then a big gap to the "oops" (or "I miss having a baby, look how grown up they all are.") kid happening late 30s or maybe early 40s.  Having a kid in your late 40s is hard.

My comment about oops babies was referring to mmm1970's post about the toddler group having lots of people with a third kid.  But mmm1970 later clarified that these were intentional, evenly spaced children.  So not oops babies.  I never meant to say that someone in their 40's might or should have another kid.  And my parents had ids in their early 30's, then an oops baby in their late 30's.  So certainly not in their 40's.

maco

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4187 on: March 24, 2016, 03:33:47 PM »
Even so, I'd say there are a handful of the dads from this group who like to spend their weekends watching sports on TV or going golfing, instead of being with the kids.
My dad is all about sports. I was 10 days old at my first major league baseball game.
So my friend just posted a picture of the rental she's got for the next 10 days while her truck is getting worked on (fender bender). It's a brand new Hyundai Accent hatchback.  Her comment was something like "I got a Hot Wheel. WTF is this?"  Along with a few complaints/comments about how she can't fit two adults in this thing (family is two adults, teenager, and newborn), it has no power, and the rental company needs to find her an SUV.  I bit my tongue, but I wanted to respond "It's a car. It's what the rest of us get by in."
Oh come on, I've done Pennsic as 2 adults in a Hyundai Accent hatchback including a canvas tent with 2x4s for poles, a wooden platform bed, and wooden tables. And I didn't have a roof rack.
That's impressive!  When I first started out I did Pennsic in a small car.  But then I lived like 20 miles away, so if I forgot something it was no problem to run and get it.
I'm 5 hours away. Here's the bed in the trunk of the Accent
Now we go in style, in an old RV converted to a vardo :-)  Cost us $300 to buy, a bit more than that to convert, but still less than many spend on tents.
The Accent was totaled last year. I used the insurance payout for a down payment on a Prius C (same size trunk, about 4" longer inside), but then I found MMM, so I'm in the process of selling the Prius to my mother in law to get out of the $3k/yr car payment (no interest). I'll be getting her 12 year old Saturn, and I figure for Pennsic I can rent a van for less than the monthly payment on the Prius.

Zaga

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4188 on: March 24, 2016, 05:31:09 PM »
Even so, I'd say there are a handful of the dads from this group who like to spend their weekends watching sports on TV or going golfing, instead of being with the kids.
My dad is all about sports. I was 10 days old at my first major league baseball game.
So my friend just posted a picture of the rental she's got for the next 10 days while her truck is getting worked on (fender bender). It's a brand new Hyundai Accent hatchback.  Her comment was something like "I got a Hot Wheel. WTF is this?"  Along with a few complaints/comments about how she can't fit two adults in this thing (family is two adults, teenager, and newborn), it has no power, and the rental company needs to find her an SUV.  I bit my tongue, but I wanted to respond "It's a car. It's what the rest of us get by in."
Oh come on, I've done Pennsic as 2 adults in a Hyundai Accent hatchback including a canvas tent with 2x4s for poles, a wooden platform bed, and wooden tables. And I didn't have a roof rack.
That's impressive!  When I first started out I did Pennsic in a small car.  But then I lived like 20 miles away, so if I forgot something it was no problem to run and get it.
I'm 5 hours away. Here's the bed in the trunk of the Accent
Now we go in style, in an old RV converted to a vardo :-)  Cost us $300 to buy, a bit more than that to convert, but still less than many spend on tents.
The Accent was totaled last year. I used the insurance payout for a down payment on a Prius C (same size trunk, about 4" longer inside), but then I found MMM, so I'm in the process of selling the Prius to my mother in law to get out of the $3k/yr car payment (no interest). I'll be getting her 12 year old Saturn, and I figure for Pennsic I can rent a van for less than the monthly payment on the Prius.
DH has a Tahoe, which we use to tow the vardo.  We are practically spitting distance from Pennsic, seems silly to me to have such a large vehicle to tow something once a year.  Fortunately we bought it used for a great price, and mostly carpool in my car to save on gas.  I'd love for him to have something smaller then rent a big truck once a year.

JAYSLOL

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4189 on: March 24, 2016, 06:59:45 PM »
On Facebook buy and sell - one of those battery powered toddler-age big plastic jeeps they can drive around in listed as-is without battery or charger for $40.  Lady comments "$30?  Got to feed the family and save for upcoming move."

If $10 is the difference between food and no food, or saving for a move you shouldn't buy anything, much less a large plastic piece of shit you need to also buy a battery and charger for.  For the record, i wouldn't take it for free.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4190 on: March 25, 2016, 09:40:21 AM »
On Facebook buy and sell - one of those battery powered toddler-age big plastic jeeps they can drive around in listed as-is without battery or charger for $40.  Lady comments "$30?  Got to feed the family and save for upcoming move."

If $10 is the difference between food and no food, or saving for a move you shouldn't buy anything, much less a large plastic piece of shit you need to also buy a battery and charger for.  For the record, i wouldn't take it for free.

I'd take it for parts!  But I suspect the lady was exaggerating as a bargaining tactic

Bee35

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4191 on: March 26, 2016, 01:16:02 AM »
So I am an 18+ month lurker who just created a forum account and am planning to post a case study/ question in the next couple of days.

But something just popped up on my FB feed tonight that belonged here and I just couldn't pass up.




"imgur.com/wyXhl4k.png" Just in case I run into any issues with forum rules or formatting

coolistdude

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4192 on: March 26, 2016, 11:34:36 PM »
Overheard this one recently. Friend needs to move. It's just him and his fiancee. Yep, they want to rent a 3+ bedroom house. When I was at that stage, DW and I rented a single bedroom apartment.

I wouldn't make assumptions without seeing the numbers. I live in an area where the rent on a one-bedroom apartment is more than the mortgage payment (PITI) on my three-bedroom house. Real estate is oddly local.

He was referring to renting a 3+ bedroom house, not buying.

Right. But the numbers still matter. It doesn't matter whether you're buying or renting, there are more factors that go into prices than just square footage -- location, condition. motivation on the property owner's part, etc. The small one-bedroom apartment isn't always the winner.

But can't we assume from the OP's tone in the post that in the location of which they speak, yes, a one-bedroom would be the winner?

I must be too vague in my posts. This is the second time people have replied wondering what I meant. The local area we live in is much more expensive for a house. So, you can find a decent 1 bedroom apartment for $750+-. Whereas a three bedroom house is $1500+. This city has apartments and houses very close to each other so you get a good selection. Something else I forgot to mention is that the deposit for an apartment is $400-$600 depending on if you have a pet, whereas with a house it can easily be over $1000 without a pet.
The good: 27 years old, 1 car, not renting anymore.
The bad: Single income, only about $17k in retirement, and no FI date.
The ugly: 1 year ago I was doing much better but lost all possessions due to mold. It has been an emotional roller coaster.

Blog: http://bravelycontent.blogspot.com/

BFGirl

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4193 on: March 27, 2016, 02:38:07 PM »
Not on FB, but on a neighborhood site.  Neighbor is trying to sell Prada diaper bag that was specially ordered from Milan and they paid retail $1350.00.  It will be interesting to see if it sells

Nederstash

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4194 on: March 27, 2016, 04:10:07 PM »
Not on FB, but on a neighborhood site.  Neighbor is trying to sell Prada diaper bag that was specially ordered from Milan and they paid retail $1350.00.  It will be interesting to see if it sells

Oh it'll sell. But not for that price...

coolistdude

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4195 on: March 27, 2016, 06:30:28 PM »
Not on FB, but on a neighborhood site.  Neighbor is trying to sell Prada diaper bag that was specially ordered from Milan and they paid retail $1350.00.  It will be interesting to see if it sells

Oh it'll sell. But not for that price...

I saw a woman put her baby for a nap on an arm chair. She didn't need an expensive pack and play or portable crib. She was nearby for when it woke up. I feel like American baby supplies take advantage of the fear and lack of parenting Americans experience and charge outrageous prices for things they don't need.
The good: 27 years old, 1 car, not renting anymore.
The bad: Single income, only about $17k in retirement, and no FI date.
The ugly: 1 year ago I was doing much better but lost all possessions due to mold. It has been an emotional roller coaster.

Blog: http://bravelycontent.blogspot.com/

candygirl

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4196 on: March 27, 2016, 08:24:50 PM »
I have the chance to go to Mexico with some amazing people at a huge reduced cost.....
I need creative ways to get enough money to go within the next month.
Anyone have air miles they would like to donate!?
Bottles I can collect?
I so need a trip like this! For my sanity!

This from someone with 5 kids.......l guess it's good they are trying to be creative???

Nederstash

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4197 on: March 28, 2016, 06:25:06 AM »
I have the chance to go to Mexico with some amazing people at a huge reduced cost.....
I need creative ways to get enough money to go within the next month.
Anyone have air miles they would like to donate!?
Bottles I can collect?
I so need a trip like this! For my sanity!

This from someone with 5 kids.......l guess it's good they are trying to be creative???

Good Gaia, I thought you were asking this for yourself. Better put some quotation marks before you accidentally get facepunched on the forum...

a rose by any other name

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4198 on: March 28, 2016, 11:20:00 AM »
Not on FB, but on a neighborhood site.  Neighbor is trying to sell Prada diaper bag that was specially ordered from Milan and they paid retail $1350.00.  It will be interesting to see if it sells

Oh it'll sell. But not for that price...

I saw a woman put her baby for a nap on an arm chair. She didn't need an expensive pack and play or portable crib. She was nearby for when it woke up. I feel like American baby supplies take advantage of the fear and lack of parenting Americans experience and charge outrageous prices for things they don't need.

Honestly, that's not really safe. I get that a lot of expensive baby products play into parents' fears and are often overly expensive or completely unnecessary, but babies really do need a safe place to sleep (an arm chair is likely to be a suffocation and/or fall risk). The good news is a moses basket or a cheap pack n' play can be found on amazon for ~$40. You don't need the pricey version for it to be safe!

A prada diaper bag is pretty ridiculous though.

russianswinga

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4199 on: March 28, 2016, 12:04:02 PM »
I have the chance to go to Mexico with some amazing people at a huge reduced cost.....
I need creative ways to get enough money to go within the next month.
Anyone have air miles they would like to donate!?
Bottles I can collect?
I so need a trip like this! For my sanity!
This from someone with 5 kids.......l guess it's good they are trying to be creative???

I have PLENTY of miles (but none I'm willing to donate, as we travel a lot ourselves). I do a lot of credit card churning / burning (recommended by The Points Guy) - where you sign up for a CC for a bonus, use it for 3+ months or however long to get the bonus, then close the card before the year runs up and you get hit with a fee for next year. It's not that difficult to accrue their minimums if you take the time and switch all your life's expenses to the card you're churning now. In the last year, I got 60,000 southwest points, 60,000 American points, and 60,000 Chase Ultimate Rewards points (transfer 1-1 on Sothwest or Delta) so I won't be paying airfare for likely the next 2 years. By then all these cards will be closed and I will start again! read thepointsguy.com and you can likely get rid of airline ticket costs from your life forever.