Author Topic: Overheard on Facebook  (Read 1893501 times)

PloddingInsight

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1050 on: November 05, 2014, 09:20:19 AM »
Those two concepts are probably far more entangled than your statement implies. I think it's one of the reasons promoting gender equality is harder in traditional societies. Very few girls grow up in a culture that teaches them the domestic arts and decide that they want to be fighter pilots. They are brought up to WANT to have 20 children, and that is the most insidious thing.

I'm a traditional religious person (a male) and I think the domestic arts are a lot more meaningful and fulfilling than being a fighter pilot. Should I share this preference with my children (of both sexes)? Is it only insidious when I share it with daughters?  If so, why?
You can share it all you want, but if you judge or harm your children for thinking you are nuts and wanting/enjoying a career,  or if you or actively harm your children's chances then I am going to feel bad for your kids.
Fine.  That's not the proposition I was responding to.

Malaysia41

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1051 on: November 05, 2014, 09:23:14 AM »
Wait, I come here to read about stupid shit people write on Facebook. I'm not getting my fix!
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radicaledward

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1052 on: November 05, 2014, 09:23:39 AM »
It's kind of an optimism, pessimism, and realism thing, isn't it?

Not only decisions, but capabilities, and options.
I think that's actually a pretty good way of since at the end of the day pretty much everyone wants to see a meritocratic where you aren't kept from doing something account of gender, race, etc. but on the token not everyone is cut out to be able to do all jobs. At the end of the day you need to be realistic about what you options are and that realism isn't something you see getting taught either.

You can share it all you want, but if you judge or harm your children for thinking you are nuts and wanting/enjoying a career,  or if you or actively harm your children's chances then I am going to feel bad for your kids.
So you feel bad for pretty much all kids then? Even if the parents raise their kids perfectly they are getting exposed to society at large which does things like venerate certain jobs which can have a negative influence on children as well. There are lots of people out there in high profile jobs that feel like they are trapped doing it and would rather be doing something else. Saying that one is better than another is just as harmful to children.

PloddingInsight

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1053 on: November 05, 2014, 09:26:17 AM »
PloddingInsight - I understood your perspective, even if I don't entirely agree with it, that is, until you started pontificating about tennis lessons and Nordstroms visits. This leads me to conclude that you have no actual perception of the myriad of real reasons why women decide to work or to put their children in daycare, part time or full. I guess this shouldn't come as a surprise, since you already said your wife is better at the parenting bit.

You remind me of the husbands at my church who have made it perfectly clear to their SAHM wives that there is no money in the budget for them to spend a couple hundred dollars a month to put their kids in a Parent's Day Out program just so they can have a much needed break. I actually had a conversation with a woman in nursery who had it clearly ingrained in her that paying for five hours a week free time was too expensive, even though she was emotionally and physically exhausted. I guess if she was "better" at earning money, she could buy her free time, right?   

And keep in mind, my perspective on your thoughts is coming from a stay at home mom who attends a conservative Christian church.
Chip on your shoulder, huh?

Nubs

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1054 on: November 05, 2014, 09:29:25 AM »
Wait, I come here to read about stupid shit people write on Facebook. I'm not getting my fix!

+1

More FB stories!

Gin1984

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1055 on: November 05, 2014, 09:33:23 AM »
Those two concepts are probably far more entangled than your statement implies. I think it's one of the reasons promoting gender equality is harder in traditional societies. Very few girls grow up in a culture that teaches them the domestic arts and decide that they want to be fighter pilots. They are brought up to WANT to have 20 children, and that is the most insidious thing.

I'm a traditional religious person (a male) and I think the domestic arts are a lot more meaningful and fulfilling than being a fighter pilot. Should I share this preference with my children (of both sexes)? Is it only insidious when I share it with daughters?  If so, why?
You can share it all you want, but if you judge or harm your children for thinking you are nuts and wanting/enjoying a career,  or if you or actively harm your children's chances then I am going to feel bad for your kids.
Fine.  That's not the proposition I was responding to.
Then  I am confused because that is what the poster was referring to.  Raising a child in a way that actively pushes a certain gender towards the domestic arts and actively harms their chances by raising them to believe that can't or should not want it.

justajane

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1056 on: November 05, 2014, 09:36:11 AM »
[blah, blah blah, my retort to someone that I would probably never interact with in real life.....]
Chip on your shoulder, huh?

Not at all. Just very relieved that I am married to someone who doesn't have traditional (a.k.a. stifling) perceptions that often don't take into account the diversity of human experience and relationships.

But let's get back to the more fun task at hand, namely venting about Facebook posts.

I have a Jamberry nails Facebook friend, and let me tell you, MLMs like that are a strange subculture. She apparently has the best job in the world, gets to travel to awesome places, works for a company that is the most charitable company she has ever encountered, and makes tons and tons of money. At least that's what she tells me and all her hundreds of friends on a regular basis.

Malaysia41

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1057 on: November 05, 2014, 09:45:30 AM »
So I popped over to FB to see if I could dig up something, anything.  ... this is what I see:

"Homeless child unaware he lives in nanny state."

"45 Year Old Man Actually Open to Dating 25 Year Old Women."

Oh wait, that's The Onion Feed. 

I got nothin'.   It's up to you fair forum goers.  This thread is in your hands.
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PloddingInsight

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1058 on: November 05, 2014, 09:55:27 AM »
Those two concepts are probably far more entangled than your statement implies. I think it's one of the reasons promoting gender equality is harder in traditional societies. Very few girls grow up in a culture that teaches them the domestic arts and decide that they want to be fighter pilots. They are brought up to WANT to have 20 children, and that is the most insidious thing.

I'm a traditional religious person (a male) and I think the domestic arts are a lot more meaningful and fulfilling than being a fighter pilot. Should I share this preference with my children (of both sexes)? Is it only insidious when I share it with daughters?  If so, why?
You can share it all you want, but if you judge or harm your children for thinking you are nuts and wanting/enjoying a career,  or if you or actively harm your children's chances then I am going to feel bad for your kids.
Fine.  That's not the proposition I was responding to.
Then  I am confused because that is what the poster was referring to.  Raising a child in a way that actively pushes a certain gender towards the domestic arts and actively harms their chances by raising them to believe that can't or should not want it.
You keep moving the goal posts and blurring the lines.  There is nothing wrong with giving your child a push in the direction you think they need to go.  That's called parenting.  That's not the same as telling them that they can't or shouldn't consider something as broad as "having a career".

Let's go back and read what I am responding to:
Quote
Very few girls grow up in a culture that teaches them the domestic arts and decide that they want to be fighter pilots. They are brought up to WANT to have 20 children, and that is the most insidious thing.
I'm taking this comment at face value.  If they are brought up to "WANT" a big family, then we are supposing that a big family is what they want, aren't we?  We're not talking about a girl brought up in a traditional religious family who wants to do something different.  This commenter is saying it is evil when traditional religious families successfully pass on their values to the next generation, because those values are traditional religious ones.

Look, regardless of what your worldview or values are, you are going to do some sharing and guidance with your children.  And for everyone, regardless of their worldview, there's a point where you take it too far and you're trying to control the choices that rightly belong to your child alone.  All I'm pointing out is that, taken at face value, the original comment was calling it insidious that in families with values he or she disagrees with, many of the children also have those values.  The equivalent statement from a religious standpoint would be something like this:

Quote
Very few girls grow up in a culture that teaches them careerism and decide that they want to be stay-at-home moms. They are brought up to WANT to be too busy for a big family, and that is the most insidious thing.

If I wrote that, am I accusing secular parents of being controlling?  No.  What I'm accusing them of is successfully transmitting their worldview to their children.  How silly is it to call that "insidious"?

Gin1984

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1059 on: November 05, 2014, 10:03:43 AM »
Those two concepts are probably far more entangled than your statement implies. I think it's one of the reasons promoting gender equality is harder in traditional societies. Very few girls grow up in a culture that teaches them the domestic arts and decide that they want to be fighter pilots. They are brought up to WANT to have 20 children, and that is the most insidious thing.

I'm a traditional religious person (a male) and I think the domestic arts are a lot more meaningful and fulfilling than being a fighter pilot. Should I share this preference with my children (of both sexes)? Is it only insidious when I share it with daughters?  If so, why?
You can share it all you want, but if you judge or harm your children for thinking you are nuts and wanting/enjoying a career,  or if you or actively harm your children's chances then I am going to feel bad for your kids.
Fine.  That's not the proposition I was responding to.
Then  I am confused because that is what the poster was referring to.  Raising a child in a way that actively pushes a certain gender towards the domestic arts and actively harms their chances by raising them to believe that can't or should not want it.
You keep moving the goal posts and blurring the lines.  There is nothing wrong with giving your child a push in the direction you think they need to go. That's called parenting.  That's not the same as telling them that they can't or shouldn't consider something as broad as "having a career".

Let's go back and read what I am responding to:
Quote
Very few girls grow up in a culture that teaches them the domestic arts and decide that they want to be fighter pilots. They are brought up to WANT to have 20 children, and that is the most insidious thing.
I'm taking this comment at face value.  If they are brought up to "WANT" a big family, then we are supposing that a big family is what they want, aren't we?  We're not talking about a girl brought up in a traditional religious family who wants to do something different.  This commenter is saying it is evil when traditional religious families successfully pass on their values to the next generation, because those values are traditional religious ones.

Look, regardless of what your worldview or values are, you are going to do some sharing and guidance with your children.  And for everyone, regardless of their worldview, there's a point where you take it too far and you're trying to control the choices that rightly belong to your child alone.  All I'm pointing out is that, taken at face value, the original comment was calling it insidious that in families with values he or she disagrees with, many of the children also have those values.  The equivalent statement from a religious standpoint would be something like this:

Quote
Very few girls grow up in a culture that teaches them careerism and decide that they want to be stay-at-home moms. They are brought up to WANT to be too busy for a big family, and that is the most insidious thing.

If I wrote that, am I accusing secular parents of being controlling?  No.  What I'm accusing them of is successfully transmitting their worldview to their children.  How silly is it to call that "insidious"?
Actually, I think parents who try to force their kids into a certain career or sabotage their children from going into another direction is controlling, no matter what they are trying to force on the kids.  Removing options because the parents don't like them is controlling.  Let's take SAH vs working off the table for a sec.  If your child was good at math, but he or she kept being told his or her gender was not good at that or that he or she should work on english because that is where his/her talents should lie.  Why would you think that was ok? 

PloddingInsight

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1060 on: November 05, 2014, 10:14:08 AM »
Actually, I think parents who try to force their kids into a certain career or sabotage their children from going into another direction is controlling, no matter what they are trying to force on the kids.  Removing options because the parents don't like them is controlling.  Let's take SAH vs working off the table for a sec.  If your child was good at math, but he or she kept being told his or her gender was not good at that or that he or she should work on english because that is where his/her talents should lie.  Why would you think that was ok?
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eyePod

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1061 on: November 05, 2014, 11:02:47 AM »
It's kind of an optimism, pessimism, and realism thing, isn't it?

Not only decisions, but capabilities, and options.
I think that's actually a pretty good way of since at the end of the day pretty much everyone wants to see a meritocratic where you aren't kept from doing something account of gender, race, etc. but on the token not everyone is cut out to be able to do all jobs. At the end of the day you need to be realistic about what you options are and that realism isn't something you see getting taught either.

You can share it all you want, but if you judge or harm your children for thinking you are nuts and wanting/enjoying a career,  or if you or actively harm your children's chances then I am going to feel bad for your kids.
So you feel bad for pretty much all kids then? Even if the parents raise their kids perfectly they are getting exposed to society at large which does things like venerate certain jobs which can have a negative influence on children as well. There are lots of people out there in high profile jobs that feel like they are trapped doing it and would rather be doing something else. Saying that one is better than another is just as harmful to children.

Like Rashard Mendenhall! He was looked at as a bum when he retired from the NFL at the age of 26. His quote is awesome "Football was pretty cool, but I don't want to play anymore. I want to travel the world and write!" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rashard_Mendenhall
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DeepEllumStache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1062 on: November 05, 2014, 12:04:13 PM »
Checked my feed -

Apparently one person put a question out to FB about whether she should "trash the dress" or not.  So far there's about 10 comments supporting the idea and no one is recommending that she resell her wedding dress.  I really hope she has a less expensive dress if she does.
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SisterX

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1063 on: November 05, 2014, 12:06:55 PM »
In a traditional mother/father setup, the man leaves the home all day to work at a job while the woman takes care of the home and raises the children.  This mostly benefits the man if you are assuming a secular world-view where public social status and worldly success at a career are the most important things, while home-making is a necessary evil. 

Benefit as in, men aren't the ones putting their lives on the line for producing giant families.  Benefit as in, things stay the same where workplaces are full of men, making it harder for women to break into careers, let alone advance within them.  Benefit as in, young men are told that they can have families and be good parents and still go out to work, but young women are told that their thoughts should always center around the home/family.
You seem to be so convinced of your own rightness that you're not making any effort to understand what I say.  So, goodbye.

I have a Jamberry nails Facebook friend, and let me tell you, MLMs like that are a strange subculture. She apparently has the best job in the world, gets to travel to awesome places, works for a company that is the most charitable company she has ever encountered, and makes tons and tons of money. At least that's what she tells me and all her hundreds of friends on a regular basis.

Ugh, I have a friend who just started doing this too.  I unfriended the last person to start talking about her home business thingy (some sort of food based thing, can't remember what it was) and I'm seriously considering unfriending this person too.  Soooo sick of hearing about these things.

justajane

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1064 on: November 05, 2014, 12:18:28 PM »
Checked my feed -

Apparently one person put a question out to FB about whether she should "trash the dress" or not.  So far there's about 10 comments supporting the idea and no one is recommending that she resell her wedding dress.  I really hope she has a less expensive dress if she does.

I find the "trash the dress" trend appalling. You should be a killjoy and link to this - http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/wedding-dress-death-shows-adventure-photo-dangers-1.1233757

Or alternately, you could make her feel guilty and suggest that she could donate it to a disadvantaged bride.


Ugh, I have a friend who just started doing this too.  I unfriended the last person to start talking about her home business thingy (some sort of food based thing, can't remember what it was) and I'm seriously considering unfriending this person too.  Soooo sick of hearing about these things.

For some reason, I just can't look away this time, mainly because I've always found this woman to be a level headed sort of gal. My husband thinks she is pretending to get sales, but I tend to think she is just hoodwinked by a very successful sales machine. Can she really be making lots of money on this endeavor?

galliver

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1065 on: November 05, 2014, 12:24:33 PM »
Out of respect for the foam police, new thread, in which I reply to PloddingInsight:

http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/off-topic/traditional-vs-modern-family-values-and-gender-roles/

Cpa Cat

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1066 on: November 05, 2014, 12:32:03 PM »
I have a Jamberry nails Facebook friend, and let me tell you, MLMs like that are a strange subculture. She apparently has the best job in the world, gets to travel to awesome places, works for a company that is the most charitable company she has ever encountered, and makes tons and tons of money. At least that's what she tells me and all her hundreds of friends on a regular basis.

Ugh, I have a friend who just started doing this too.  I unfriended the last person to start talking about her home business thingy (some sort of food based thing, can't remember what it was) and I'm seriously considering unfriending this person too.  Soooo sick of hearing about these things.

Not only does my Jamberry friend also say all this stuff and constantly invite me to her "online sales party" (which just involves buying Jamberry nails from her webpage), she also posts photos of her Jamberry nails EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Her fingers and toes are starting to look really old and gross. You can tell it's doing bad things to her skin and nails to be constantly picking at them and adhering stuff to them.

And she can't be making money on this. Her Jamberry nail habit probably costs more than a cocaine addiction.

PloddingInsight

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1067 on: November 05, 2014, 12:34:06 PM »
In a traditional mother/father setup, the man leaves the home all day to work at a job while the woman takes care of the home and raises the children.  This mostly benefits the man if you are assuming a secular world-view where public social status and worldly success at a career are the most important things, while home-making is a necessary evil. 

Benefit as in, men aren't the ones putting their lives on the line for producing giant families.  Benefit as in, things stay the same where workplaces are full of men, making it harder for women to break into careers, let alone advance within them.  Benefit as in, young men are told that they can have families and be good parents and still go out to work, but young women are told that their thoughts should always center around the home/family.
You seem to be so convinced of your own rightness that you're not making any effort to understand what I say.  So, goodbye.
No, I think I get what you're saying.  When I ask "Benefit how?" it's not because I don't know what you mean.  I'm trying to ask you to look at it from a different point of view.  Any time you're examining who benefits from an arrangement between people, you are implicitly making value judgments that about what is important.  You answer differently based on what you care about.  If your priority is to maximize people's career options, then certainly men benefit from the traditional setup: having a home-maker spouse affords you the luxury to throw yourself into your career and make the most of it.  But now suppose you think the most important thing is that people have strong ties and frequent interaction with their children?  From that perspective, the luxury of being a stay-at-home parent is a bigger benefit than having a career, isn't it?

Anyway you don't have to respond.  I just don't want you to think I'm trolling you.

Goldielocks

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1068 on: November 05, 2014, 12:38:12 PM »

Actually, I think parents who try to force their kids into a certain career or sabotage their children from going into another direction is controlling, no matter what they are trying to force on the kids.  Removing options because the parents don't like them is controlling.  Let's take SAH vs working off the table for a sec.  If your child was good at math, but he or she kept being told his or her gender was not good at that or that he or she should work on english because that is where his/her talents should lie.  Why would you think that was ok?

Oooooh  -- This sound surprisingly like the thread asking if it was Okay for parents to agree to pay for college only if their kids "chose wisely"...   e.g., STEM programs,, Accounting, or Medicine.

I find parents that restrict their kids via college funding to be equally or more limiting than anything dealing with traditional gender roles, simply because so many people in society (Gin1984)loudly demonstrate / speak up against gender role typing.  By the time the kid is 15, they know that Mom and Dad's traditional views are not the only way to look at the world.


Even so,   the college funding discussion was split among the MMM respondents -- should parents push kids (using money as carrot / stick) into certain educational and career choices?  Is it OK to ever limit a child's options?

....Maybe we should move this to its own thread, to allow us to mock FB posts again....

Overheard on FB
My FB post was a friend who recently moved, 800km to cheaper city, as they were out of cc and equity room,  and needed to get equity and borrowing capacity again.   They have  been unable to sell the old home, so is carrying both, with Dad staying in it, while he works to manage it.  Yikes.   

The FB problem is the "new to them" truck they just bought and posted to FB, so Dad has wheels in the old city (Mom had kids and car at new place).   

They only were able to purchase the truck because they know that there will be an inheritance from Great Aunty who was in her final days at the hospital at the time of the truck purchase.  (They recently sold a smaller property to get a tiny amount of equity room for emergencies, but have now quickly written a loan against it, until the inheritance comes, I am guessing)

The FB punch is not about the way the treated Great Aunty -- FB friend was the only one around in her final dementia years, visiting weekly or more at the care facility -- but the way they separate out money in their heads from real life -- and spend it before they get it.   

They have huge debts and have already assumed (banked on) a realized value for their future home sale, which has been sitting on the market for several months now, needing mortgage payments, not to mention travel of 800km so dad can see kids and wife once a month.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1069 on: November 05, 2014, 12:45:12 PM »
I have a Jamberry nails Facebook friend, and let me tell you, MLMs like that are a strange subculture. She apparently has the best job in the world, gets to travel to awesome places, works for a company that is the most charitable company she has ever encountered, and makes tons and tons of money. At least that's what she tells me and all her hundreds of friends on a regular basis.

Ugh, I have a friend who just started doing this too.  I unfriended the last person to start talking about her home business thingy (some sort of food based thing, can't remember what it was) and I'm seriously considering unfriending this person too.  Soooo sick of hearing about these things.

Not only does my Jamberry friend also say all this stuff and constantly invite me to her "online sales party" (which just involves buying Jamberry nails from her webpage), she also posts photos of her Jamberry nails EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Her fingers and toes are starting to look really old and gross. You can tell it's doing bad things to her skin and nails to be constantly picking at them and adhering stuff to them.

And she can't be making money on this. Her Jamberry nail habit probably costs more than a cocaine addiction.
Comments like this make me continue checking this thread.  I snorted because I was laughing so hard. 

FunkyStickman

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1070 on: November 05, 2014, 12:55:30 PM »
I want you people to understand how much I appreciate the Lolz.

I just went into my facebook feed settings and started re-following all 500+ friends.

I want you to understand, I'm doing this for you folks. For the lolz.

(EDIT) Facebook apparently doesn't want me doing it, I got halfway through and it started making me confirm every re-follow, saying "If you subscribe to too many people at once, your News Feed could get cluttered."

I must be doing something right.

Will post back with the lolz once I'm done.
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rocksinmyhead

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1071 on: November 05, 2014, 12:57:39 PM »
Checked my feed -

Apparently one person put a question out to FB about whether she should "trash the dress" or not.  So far there's about 10 comments supporting the idea and no one is recommending that she resell her wedding dress.  I really hope she has a less expensive dress if she does.

OMG don't even get me started on trash the dress. I find it so repugnant. Even if you don't want the dress or the money, freaking donate it!!

I have a Jamberry nails Facebook friend, and let me tell you, MLMs like that are a strange subculture. She apparently has the best job in the world, gets to travel to awesome places, works for a company that is the most charitable company she has ever encountered, and makes tons and tons of money. At least that's what she tells me and all her hundreds of friends on a regular basis.

Ugh, I have a friend who just started doing this too.  I unfriended the last person to start talking about her home business thingy (some sort of food based thing, can't remember what it was) and I'm seriously considering unfriending this person too.  Soooo sick of hearing about these things.

Not only does my Jamberry friend also say all this stuff and constantly invite me to her "online sales party" (which just involves buying Jamberry nails from her webpage), she also posts photos of her Jamberry nails EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Anything with the "online sales party" concept is so ridiculous, LOL. I had a (Facebook friend, used to be a good friend in high school) doing one of the jewelry ones. Tell me again how this is considered a party?!? Isn't it just a "Facebook event" where you ask me to buy your shit?

Gin1984

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1072 on: November 05, 2014, 12:59:33 PM »

Actually, I think parents who try to force their kids into a certain career or sabotage their children from going into another direction is controlling, no matter what they are trying to force on the kids.  Removing options because the parents don't like them is controlling.  Let's take SAH vs working off the table for a sec.  If your child was good at math, but he or she kept being told his or her gender was not good at that or that he or she should work on english because that is where his/her talents should lie.  Why would you think that was ok?

Oooooh  -- This sound surprisingly like the thread asking if it was Okay for parents to agree to pay for college only if their kids "chose wisely"...   e.g., STEM programs,, Accounting, or Medicine.

I find parents that restrict their kids via college funding to be equally or more limiting than anything dealing with traditional gender roles, simply because so many people in society (Gin1984)loudly demonstrate / speak up against gender role typing. By the time the kid is 15, they know that Mom and Dad's traditional views are not the only way to look at the world.


Even so,   the college funding discussion was split among the MMM respondents -- should parents push kids (using money as carrot / stick) into certain educational and career choices?  Is it OK to ever limit a child's options?

....Maybe we should move this to its own thread, to allow us to mock FB posts again....

Overheard on FB
My FB post was a friend who recently moved, 800km to cheaper city, as they were out of cc and equity room,  and needed to get equity and borrowing capacity again.   They have  been unable to sell the old home, so is carrying both, with Dad staying in it, while he works to manage it.  Yikes.   

The FB problem is the "new to them" truck they just bought and posted to FB, so Dad has wheels in the old city (Mom had kids and car at new place).   

They only were able to purchase the truck because they know that there will be an inheritance from Great Aunty who was in her final days at the hospital at the time of the truck purchase.  (They recently sold a smaller property to get a tiny amount of equity room for emergencies, but have now quickly written a loan against it, until the inheritance comes, I am guessing)

The FB punch is not about the way the treated Great Aunty -- FB friend was the only one around in her final dementia years, visiting weekly or more at the care facility -- but the way they separate out money in their heads from real life -- and spend it before they get it.   

They have huge debts and have already assumed (banked on) a realized value for their future home sale, which has been sitting on the market for several months now, needing mortgage payments, not to mention travel of 800km so dad can see kids and wife once a month.
But even if the child does know (and has not be indoctrinated because the parents determine who the child is around), they can still be harmed.  Like sending a boy to a college prep high school and the girl to a more "domestic" private school.  I knew of families who did that and sent the boys to the brother school of my school.  The girls, even if they had decided they did not want to be a housewife like mom, were given no chance to be otherwise.

sugarsnap

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1073 on: November 05, 2014, 01:20:53 PM »
I have a 'real life' friend doing jamberry and she is making a buttload of dough. Over $20k a month at this point. I'm pretty sure that's not normal though, she got in early and has hundreds of people under her.

I still wouldn't want to become a spam machine to all of my friends, I'm sure the business will be over saturated and blow over soon enough.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1074 on: November 05, 2014, 01:23:15 PM »

The FB punch is not about the way the treated Great Aunty -- FB friend was the only one around in her final dementia years, visiting weekly or more at the care facility -- but the way they separate out money in their heads from real life -- and spend it before they get it.   

They have huge debts and have already assumed (banked on) a realized value for their future home sale, which has been sitting on the market for several months now, needing mortgage payments, not to mention travel of 800km so dad can see kids and wife once a month.
I had friends do this a few years ago. They don't talk specifics but I gather that they owe over $100k in student loans, more than they borrowed because they've just stuck them in forbearance for a couple of decades and when the wife's mother died they bought a brand new SUV (a Nissan Rogue so a relatively reasonable one at least but still....). Turns out they were planning on paying it off with the inheritance but it came in at a tenth of what they were expecting.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1075 on: November 05, 2014, 01:34:06 PM »

Actually, I think parents who try to force their kids into a certain career or sabotage their children from going into another direction is controlling, no matter what they are trying to force on the kids.  Removing options because the parents don't like them is controlling.  Let's take SAH vs working off the table for a sec.  If your child was good at math, but he or she kept being told his or her gender was not good at that or that he or she should work on english because that is where his/her talents should lie.  Why would you think that was ok?

Oooooh  -- This sound surprisingly like the thread asking if it was Okay for parents to agree to pay for college only if their kids "chose wisely"...   e.g., STEM programs,, Accounting, or Medicine.

I find parents that restrict their kids via college funding to be equally or more limiting than anything dealing with traditional gender roles, simply because so many people in society (Gin1984)loudly demonstrate / speak up against gender role typing. By the time the kid is 15, they know that Mom and Dad's traditional views are not the only way to look at the world.


Even so,   the college funding discussion was split among the MMM respondents -- should parents push kids (using money as carrot / stick) into certain educational and career choices?  Is it OK to ever limit a child's options?

....Maybe we should move this to its own thread, to allow us to mock FB posts again....

Overheard on FB
My FB post was a friend who recently moved, 800km to cheaper city, as they were out of cc and equity room,  and needed to get equity and borrowing capacity again.   They have  been unable to sell the old home, so is carrying both, with Dad staying in it, while he works to manage it.  Yikes.   

The FB problem is the "new to them" truck they just bought and posted to FB, so Dad has wheels in the old city (Mom had kids and car at new place).   

They only were able to purchase the truck because they know that there will be an inheritance from Great Aunty who was in her final days at the hospital at the time of the truck purchase.  (They recently sold a smaller property to get a tiny amount of equity room for emergencies, but have now quickly written a loan against it, until the inheritance comes, I am guessing)

The FB punch is not about the way the treated Great Aunty -- FB friend was the only one around in her final dementia years, visiting weekly or more at the care facility -- but the way they separate out money in their heads from real life -- and spend it before they get it.   

They have huge debts and have already assumed (banked on) a realized value for their future home sale, which has been sitting on the market for several months now, needing mortgage payments, not to mention travel of 800km so dad can see kids and wife once a month.
But even if the child does know (and has not be indoctrinated because the parents determine who the child is around), they can still be harmed.  Like sending a boy to a college prep high school and the girl to a more "domestic" private school.  I knew of families who did that and sent the boys to the brother school of my school.  The girls, even if they had decided they did not want to be a housewife like mom, were given no chance to be otherwise.

Or you can parent perfectly (I think we can agree that no one knows what that actually means since it's based on personal experiences/mindsets/philosophies but hear me out) and the little bum can still turn out to be a serial killer. Let's all settle down a bit... :)
I blog on items flipped for a profit on eBay:
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Rollin

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1076 on: November 05, 2014, 01:40:04 PM »
Foamy!

Yep, there's a big foam storm comin'
I love being outside.

Dr. A

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1077 on: November 05, 2014, 01:50:36 PM »
Out of respect for the foam police, new thread, in which I reply to PloddingInsight:

http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/off-topic/traditional-vs-modern-family-values-and-gender-roles/

First Google Image for "Foam Police":


NoraLenderbee

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1078 on: November 05, 2014, 01:53:26 PM »
I want you people to understand how much I appreciate the Lolz.

I just went into my facebook feed settings and started re-following all 500+ friends.

I want you to understand, I'm doing this for you folks. For the lolz.



Thank you for your service.

galliver

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1079 on: November 05, 2014, 02:21:03 PM »
Out of respect for the foam police, new thread, in which I reply to PloddingInsight:

http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/off-topic/traditional-vs-modern-family-values-and-gender-roles/

First Google Image for "Foam Police":



I would have been concerned about googling that ;)

FunkyStickman

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1080 on: November 05, 2014, 03:38:06 PM »
Well, now there's this. How dare they limit how fast I can follow people???

The nerve!!!

But I got all except about 30.
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solon

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1081 on: November 05, 2014, 03:54:07 PM »
I miss the black/orange boxes and casino/counting cards foam. So much better than the family size foam.

galliver

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1082 on: November 05, 2014, 03:58:27 PM »
I miss the black/orange boxes and casino/counting cards foam. So much better than the family size foam.

That was on a different thread. Keep up ;)

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1083 on: November 05, 2014, 04:16:34 PM »
Ugh, I have a friend who just started doing this too.  I unfriended the last person to start talking about her home business thingy (some sort of food based thing, can't remember what it was) and I'm seriously considering unfriending this person too.  Soooo sick of hearing about these things.

For some reason, I just can't look away this time, mainly because I've always found this woman to be a level headed sort of gal. My husband thinks she is pretending to get sales, but I tend to think she is just hoodwinked by a very successful sales machine. Can she really be making lots of money on this endeavor?

I'm in the same boat.  My friend is a freaking university professor!  I feel like she should know better.  Normally so level headed and has good things to say, but now she's just jamming up my newsfeed with stuff about her nails.  I'm wondering, do I really have all that much in common with her anymore?  I tend to limit my FB group to people I actually care to hear about and make time for in real life.  Is she worth it?  Hmmmm.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1084 on: November 05, 2014, 06:23:59 PM »
I'm in the same boat.  My friend is a freaking university professor!  I feel like she should know better.  Normally so level headed and has good things to say, but now she's just jamming up my newsfeed with stuff about her nails.  I'm wondering, do I really have all that much in common with her anymore?  I tend to limit my FB group to people I actually care to hear about and make time for in real life.  Is she worth it?  Hmmmm.

Yeah, I have a friend who got into Herbalife. For about a year she was pretty obnoxious about it and I was a bit hesitant to invite her over, etc. She's a very close friend, though, so after a few times of turning conversations into the benefits of Herbalife we just agreed to disagree and that if I ever felt like trying I would be sure to contact her. She then set up a place where people walk-into to buy, so she's not so dependent on parties, etc, anymore. We're good friends again now.

Now on to my own newsfeed, the latest antimustachian thing is a cousin of mine who's expecting due March like me and keeps posting photos of her babymoon/shopping trip to Miami. I'd love a trip to Miami, make no mistake, but I'm really getting most of what I can used, including family cribs, clothes, toys, etc, and I don't know how much she's spending, but another cousin of ours spent around $15k in baby stuff in NY before she had her daughter. Judging from the photos, I'd bet this gal isn't coming too short of that either.

justajane

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1085 on: November 05, 2014, 06:24:34 PM »
I have a 'real life' friend doing jamberry and she is making a buttload of dough. Over $20k a month at this point. I'm pretty sure that's not normal though, she got in early and has hundreds of people under her.

I still wouldn't want to become a spam machine to all of my friends, I'm sure the business will be over saturated and blow over soon enough.

I imagined that if you got in to the business early you could make a decent clip, but I had no idea it could be that much. Wow! I guess if I could make over $200,000 for a couple of years pestering my friends, I might run the risk of jeopardizing my friendships too. Yeah, probably not.

I wonder if my friend is in that category. She did get to go to their big conference for big sellers in Utah. I assumed that she had to pay out of pocket for that pleasure, but your intel has me thinking that this was an all expenses paid deal. Color me surprised!

Ugh, I have a friend who just started doing this too.  I unfriended the last person to start talking about her home business thingy (some sort of food based thing, can't remember what it was) and I'm seriously considering unfriending this person too.  Soooo sick of hearing about these things.

For some reason, I just can't look away this time, mainly because I've always found this woman to be a level headed sort of gal. My husband thinks she is pretending to get sales, but I tend to think she is just hoodwinked by a very successful sales machine. Can she really be making lots of money on this endeavor?

I'm in the same boat.  My friend is a freaking university professor!  I feel like she should know better.  Normally so level headed and has good things to say, but now she's just jamming up my newsfeed with stuff about her nails.  I'm wondering, do I really have all that much in common with her anymore?  I tend to limit my FB group to people I actually care to hear about and make time for in real life.  Is she worth it?  Hmmmm.

Yeah, that's the worse part about it. You begin to question the quality and even perhaps the overall sanity of the individual involved. I guess they don't care what people think or don't realize what is going on in other people's minds.

The new trend I've noticed with Jamberry are the online Facebook parties. In fact, I was just invited to one this evening. Now I don't even have to go to their house and be fed appetizers to listen to their sale pitch. I can just login in to Facebook and buy on there during a predetermined 30 minute period. The other appalling one I noticed was a Jamberry nails party for a 6 year old girl. The consultant did the party for free, and in exchange the parents spammed all of their Facebook contacts to ask them to buy the products. For each product purchased, the birthday girl got more and more nail sheets. Social media has been a boon for MLMs.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1086 on: November 05, 2014, 06:25:43 PM »



I have a Jamberry nails Facebook friend,......

ARGH.   With all this Jamberry thread talk, I had to look to see what it was.  ( I knew nail wraps, but nothing else).  How the heck do they sell them for $15 a set when the drugstore has them for $5 on clearance to $10 regular price?     (I bought them for a birthday present last year, I have never tried them as I could be mocked if I show up to work in fancy nails)

austin

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1087 on: November 05, 2014, 06:31:31 PM »
MLMs are popular with military wives. It is difficult to maintain a career when you have to move around the country and world when your spouse gets stationed elsewhere, so these things target them.

Anyways, I saw a car on post with the following bumper sticker - "Support your local Army wife's pyramid scheme"

Hehe

justajane

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1088 on: November 05, 2014, 06:31:52 PM »



I have a Jamberry nails Facebook friend,......

ARGH.   With all this Jamberry thread talk, I had to look to see what it was.  ( I knew nail wraps, but nothing else).  How the heck do they sell them for $15 a set when the drugstore has them for $5 on clearance to $10 regular price?     (I bought them for a birthday present last year, I have never tried them as I could be mocked if I show up to work in fancy nails)

I think their niche is women who would otherwise be going to the salon to get their nails done for $30-$40 a pop. If you are prone to indulge regularly in that, being able to do your nails for $5 (I believe you can get three "manicures" per sheet) sounds like an absolute bargain.

But I am not their demographic. I personally find patterns on your nails to be tacky, and I haven't painted my nails more than 10 times in my entire life. I have had my nails done professionally once - the day before my wedding - and that was only because I thought it was what was expected, not because I was even that interested. It was a waste of time, IMO.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1089 on: November 05, 2014, 06:31:58 PM »

Checked my feed -

Apparently one person put a question out to FB about whether she should "trash the dress" or not.  So far there's about 10 comments supporting the idea and no one is recommending that she resell her wedding dress.  I really hope she has a less expensive dress if she does.

I know of more than one person who did a trash the dress session with a professional photographer and who bought a second trashable dress so they didn't ruin their actual wedding dress...

gimp

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1090 on: November 05, 2014, 06:53:04 PM »
I know of more than one person who did a trash the dress session with a professional photographer and who bought a second trashable dress so they didn't ruin their actual wedding dress...


dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1091 on: November 05, 2014, 10:08:41 PM »
Ah, shit, a perpetually-broke family friend just announced via Facebook that she has become a Jamberry "sales consultant".

At least when her sister was selling that Pampered Chef crap we got some decent stoneware out of it.

I'm tired of seeing my friends turn to the ways of the consultant. (A lot of Scentsy and Thirty-One.) And, even worse, only hearing from them when they're having a sales party or offering new discounts. :/

The horror -- you made me google "Thirty one" and I can never take that back.
Seriously,  what is the point of those items and a whole company / sales line devoted to them?  I must have missed the memo, because "I DON'T GET IT".

"Through God's strength, we've built a family of individuals who feel women deserve to treat themselves and those around them to something special"

Omgwtf

I just wanted to know why it's called 31

fantabulous

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1092 on: November 05, 2014, 10:45:37 PM »



I have a Jamberry nails Facebook friend,......

ARGH.   With all this Jamberry thread talk, I had to look to see what it was.  ( I knew nail wraps, but nothing else).  How the heck do they sell them for $15 a set when the drugstore has them for $5 on clearance to $10 regular price?     (I bought them for a birthday present last year, I have never tried them as I could be mocked if I show up to work in fancy nails)

I've done the nail wraps once, and enjoyed the pattern. My giant hands meant the thumbs weren't quite big enough, so if you looked close enough you could tell I had wraps on. Not something I really plan on bothering with ever again, though. I guess I'm not even in the demographic for jamberry.

tofuchampion

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1093 on: November 06, 2014, 04:58:42 AM »
Ah, shit, a perpetually-broke family friend just announced via Facebook that she has become a Jamberry "sales consultant".

At least when her sister was selling that Pampered Chef crap we got some decent stoneware out of it.

I'm tired of seeing my friends turn to the ways of the consultant. (A lot of Scentsy and Thirty-One.) And, even worse, only hearing from them when they're having a sales party or offering new discounts. :/

The horror -- you made me google "Thirty one" and I can never take that back.
Seriously,  what is the point of those items and a whole company / sales line devoted to them?  I must have missed the memo, because "I DON'T GET IT".

"Through God's strength, we've built a family of individuals who feel women deserve to treat themselves and those around them to something special"

Omgwtf

I just wanted to know why it's called 31

Because of Proverbs 31 - a chapter in the Bible describing the perfect woman.
There are no impossible obstacles, there are only stronger and weaker wills. (Jules Verne)

rocksinmyhead

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1094 on: November 06, 2014, 06:53:08 AM »
Ah, shit, a perpetually-broke family friend just announced via Facebook that she has become a Jamberry "sales consultant".

At least when her sister was selling that Pampered Chef crap we got some decent stoneware out of it.

I'm tired of seeing my friends turn to the ways of the consultant. (A lot of Scentsy and Thirty-One.) And, even worse, only hearing from them when they're having a sales party or offering new discounts. :/

The horror -- you made me google "Thirty one" and I can never take that back.
Seriously,  what is the point of those items and a whole company / sales line devoted to them?  I must have missed the memo, because "I DON'T GET IT".

"Through God's strength, we've built a family of individuals who feel women deserve to treat themselves and those around them to something special"

Omgwtf

I just wanted to know why it's called 31

Because of Proverbs 31 - a chapter in the Bible describing the perfect woman.

OMGWTF is right.

I had seen one of my Facebook friends pushing it a while back, never realized it was a pseudo-religious thing. That stuff makes me so sad... preying on people's feelings that they "want to associate with other good Christian women" or whatever the fuck, just to push some low-quality stupid materialistic shit. Yikes. What Would Jesus Sell?

I think some of the Jamberry designs are tacky and some are cute, but all are irrelevant to my life since I am way too lazy/busy/cheap for that shit. :)

Siobhan

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1095 on: November 06, 2014, 06:56:19 AM »
Austin, I am a "military wife", the whole you can't keep a career thing is a joke.  I've kept mine going for many a year now across 5 moves, people simply don't want to put in the effort and sacrifices it takes to do so.

But YES to the MLM schemes, I can't go to a single even without at least one spouse trying to sell me Scentsy (I'm an asthmatic, that crap makes me wheeze), Pampered Chef, or whatever the big jewelry one is now.  That crap drives me INSANE, every once in a while I have to buy something to be polite (usually to the hubz boss's wife) but I sit there and scream internally about how I am paying for something I don't need/want to help pay for someone else's life. 

justajane

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1096 on: November 06, 2014, 07:26:15 AM »
rocksinmyhead - "What would Jesus sell?" is a sad but brilliant encapsulation of their method of manipulating people.

For those that are interested - there's a whole recent thread on MLMs:
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/antimustachian-wall-of-shame-and-comedy/mlm-oh-my/

Someone on there rightly pointed out that they think that these MLMs target religious people. After all, the mother of all MLMs, Amway, is religious, isn't it?


Not the worst overheard on Facebook, but I still see this more often than I would like:
"Not a good day yesterday. So a little retail therapy will do me some good today."
« Last Edit: November 06, 2014, 07:27:56 AM by justajane »

DeepEllumStache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1097 on: November 06, 2014, 08:38:37 AM »

Checked my feed -

Apparently one person put a question out to FB about whether she should "trash the dress" or not.  So far there's about 10 comments supporting the idea and no one is recommending that she resell her wedding dress.  I really hope she has a less expensive dress if she does.

I know of more than one person who did a trash the dress session with a professional photographer and who bought a second trashable dress so they didn't ruin their actual wedding dress...

Start off that consumerist marriage correctly by buying 2 ridiculously priced dresses and then spending a ridiculous amount tailoring both just so you can destroy one and put the other in storage.
And a journal because I #REF occasionally

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1098 on: November 06, 2014, 08:51:29 AM »
rocksinmyhead - "What would Jesus sell?" is a sad but brilliant encapsulation of their method of manipulating people.

For those that are interested - there's a whole recent thread on MLMs:
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/antimustachian-wall-of-shame-and-comedy/mlm-oh-my/

Someone on there rightly pointed out that they think that these MLMs target religious people. After all, the mother of all MLMs, Amway, is religious, isn't it?


Not the worst overheard on Facebook, but I still see this more often than I would like:
"Not a good day yesterday. So a little retail therapy will do me some good today."

It's funny how retail therapy  (I hope) started out as an ironic saying, and is now used unironically

Austin, I am a "military wife", the whole you can't keep a career thing is a joke.  I've kept mine going for many a year now across 5 moves, people simply don't want to put in the effort and sacrifices it takes to do so.

But YES to the MLM schemes, I can't go to a single even without at least one spouse trying to sell me Scentsy (I'm an asthmatic, that crap makes me wheeze), Pampered Chef, or whatever the big jewelry one is now.  That crap drives me INSANE, every once in a while I have to buy something to be polite (usually to the hubz boss's wife) but I sit there and scream internally about how I am paying for something I don't need/want to help pay for someone else's life. 

For those politeness purchases, I'd be tempted to carry around some crap and try to sell it to them.  Not mlm crap, just normal crap, although this could work to get rid of the mlm crap you bout previously.  See how polite they are in return and maybe turn a profit

resy

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1099 on: November 06, 2014, 11:52:46 AM »
7 kids with 5 fathers:  poor impulse control.

7 kids from 1 father:  alternative lifestyle.
OR... complete ignorance or lack of concern of their impact in the world. Planned or not planned in my very personal opinion so many kids is not ok. There are consequences for the enviroment, society, economy, etc. Wreckless and irresponsible.