Author Topic: Overheard on Facebook  (Read 2096370 times)

Sibley

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4700 on: June 30, 2016, 10:11:12 AM »
A friend posted for a friend asking if anyone is looking for a puppy. There is a lot of hogwash, basically their friend purchased a dog and failed to realize that puppies are a lot of work and don't come housebroken/trained, and that they are really tough to handle when you also a baby. They are asking $650, which is what they paid to the breeders.

They should do an owner surrender to a local no-kill animal shelter, and then refrain from getting another animal until they've grown up (the humans, not the dog). I'd also probably avoid them, because that kind of stupidity really bugs me.

onlykelsey

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4701 on: June 30, 2016, 10:26:57 AM »
A friend posted for a friend asking if anyone is looking for a puppy. There is a lot of hogwash, basically their friend purchased a dog and failed to realize that puppies are a lot of work and don't come housebroken/trained, and that they are really tough to handle when you also a baby. They are asking $650, which is what they paid to the breeders.

That's how I got my purebred airedale working dog, for which the original owners paid 3200 (seven years ago).  They surrendered him to a rescue group (sooner rather than later, thankfully), and indicated that although he was extraordinarily gentle with their infant and toddler, tolerated being yanked on, showed no aggression to humans or dogs, and was easy going... they were surprised by how much they had to pick up his poop, and they were surprised at how big he was getting (despite getting him from a breeder of giant airedales and meeting his mom, who is actually BIGGER than him).

People are really dumb.  Always better to own up to this when it's a puppy and has a shot, though!

Kitsune

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4702 on: June 30, 2016, 10:32:42 AM »
A friend posted for a friend asking if anyone is looking for a puppy. There is a lot of hogwash, basically their friend purchased a dog and failed to realize that puppies are a lot of work and don't come housebroken/trained, and that they are really tough to handle when you also a baby. They are asking $650, which is what they paid to the breeders.

They should do an owner surrender to a local no-kill animal shelter, and then refrain from getting another animal until they've grown up (the humans, not the dog). I'd also probably avoid them, because that kind of stupidity really bugs me.

ARGH, that's infuriating.

Especially because the period between 3 months (when breeders usually let a dog go) and 5 months is super key for the socialization of dogs around small children, cats, men, etc, and dogs that are abandoned 'because we work too much' are under-socialized and have picked up bad habits. You can do it outside that window, but it's a LOT more work and the dog will never be as comfortable as they would otherwise have been.

Basically: you want money for having taken the opportunity to make a dog's learning curve that much more difficult? Asshats.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4703 on: June 30, 2016, 10:44:54 AM »
I'm seeing a lot of people on FB posting about how great their bf/gf/fiance/husband/wife is. One person posted that her fiance brought her coffee because she was having a rough day.

I feel like people that post gushing things about their SO are either compensating for something or feel like the world needs to know everything. I feel rather disinclined to pursue anyone that posts their life on social media. I know a lady that posted about a blind date and how she kept checking out a guy at another table. I hope she realizes that her date might see that?
+1^^^^

I absolutely do not feel the need to read prose upon prose of how your SO is the best person ever... just walk a few steps and tell them the words you are so overcome with!!!

I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.


I post photos on my wedding anniversary on both my FB accounts. Because I paid a small fortune for those photos, so you bet your ass I'm going to put them where people see them. But then again, I didn't inundate my FB with photos for the actual wedding, so I guess it equals out?

I don't mind the wedding photos for the exact reasons you laid out.

What I hate is the people who gush about how wonderful their SO is on FB and then talk (offline) about how horrible their relationship is.  UGH!  really gets on my nerves!!!

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4704 on: June 30, 2016, 11:44:17 AM »
I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.
One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

I've heard it as a joke too, but this one is for real:  If your boyfriend has facebook, but you're not on it, he's not your boyfriend.

dandarc

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4705 on: June 30, 2016, 12:55:05 PM »
I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.
One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

I've heard it as a joke too, but this one is for real:  If your boyfriend has facebook, but you're not on it, he's not your boyfriend.
By that logic, I'm not married.  Or do they just mean "on facebook" in terms of occasional  pictures and stuff and not necessarily the big "Relationship Status" declaration?
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onlykelsey

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4706 on: June 30, 2016, 01:06:37 PM »
I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.
One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

I've heard it as a joke too, but this one is for real:  If your boyfriend has facebook, but you're not on it, he's not your boyfriend.
By that logic, I'm not married.  Or do they just mean "on facebook" in terms of occasional  pictures and stuff and not necessarily the big "Relationship Status" declaration?

I still haven't accepted my husband's "married" relationship status invite, haha.  Everyone knows we're married but I don't like looking to facebook for weird validation of my status.  Like, I get why I might want to put a burner email up there so people can contact me, but I don't know why marriage status needs to be formalized on facebook.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4707 on: June 30, 2016, 01:11:42 PM »
I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.
One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

I've heard it as a joke too, but this one is for real:  If your boyfriend has facebook, but you're not on it, he's not your boyfriend.
By that logic, I'm not married.  Or do they just mean "on facebook" in terms of occasional  pictures and stuff and not necessarily the big "Relationship Status" declaration?

The term I've seen thrown around is "Facebook official." So if you're dating someone and consider yourself a couple, you aren't really a couple until you both post it on FB. My friends use it as a joke. The past several relationships are with people that have FB accounts but we both didn't think it was worth announcing anything to the world. We told the friends we hang out with and they undoubtedly told others, but that was it, there is no reason to tell the world.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4708 on: June 30, 2016, 03:26:57 PM »
I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.
One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

I've heard it as a joke too, but this one is for real:  If your boyfriend has facebook, but you're not on it, he's not your boyfriend.
By that logic, I'm not married.  Or do they just mean "on facebook" in terms of occasional  pictures and stuff and not necessarily the big "Relationship Status" declaration?

Yeah, I mean any content such as photos or whatever

Uturn

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4709 on: June 30, 2016, 03:37:46 PM »
What if I don't know what my girlfriend's FB status is? 
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LeRainDrop

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4710 on: June 30, 2016, 04:02:15 PM »
What if I don't know what my girlfriend's FB status is?

Then she's keeping her options open ;-)

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4711 on: July 01, 2016, 07:26:53 AM »
What if I don't know what my girlfriend's FB status is?

Then she's keeping her options open ;-)
I've been cold turkey on FB for about 2 years. But when I had the account, my status was "It's Complicated" while my wife's was "Married". She never checks her FB account.
I used this method to find out who was idle enough to waste time looking at my wife's and my profiles and extrapolate from there. I'd get private messages asking if our marriage was OK. My wife and I went to HS together so had a lot of common FB 'friends'. 'Twas fun while it lasted. But now I prefer my face between the pages of a physical book. The aroma of paper, ink, and glue is great for a nap.
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mustachepungoeshere

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4712 on: July 03, 2016, 04:53:08 PM »
I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.
One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

Not just a generational thing.

My now-husband and I got engaged in the evening. We had left Town A, where we were living, driven to Town B, he proposed, then we got in the car to travel to Town C to visit my parents for my birthday (I knew about everything except the stop-off at Town B and the proposal). So we were driving, at night, with very limited phone reception, and got in late.

The next morning his father posted on Facebook, before we'd had a chance to tell many people, "Don't forget to change your relationship status!"

On our honeymoon, my husband texted his parents a couple of updates from our trip. They posted the texts on Facebook, word for word. We flipped when we found out, and ordered them to delete the posts.

My opinion: how other people utilise social media should guide how you interact with them on social media. If they are private, respect that. If you visit their profile to congratulate them on news (engagement, birth, etc) and see no reference to it, sit on your damn hands.

Cyaphas

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4713 on: July 03, 2016, 04:58:40 PM »

Not just a generational thing.

My now-husband and I got engaged in the evening. We had left Town A, where we were living, driven to Town B, he proposed, then we got in the car to travel to Town C to visit my parents for my birthday (I knew about everything except the stop-off at Town B and the proposal). So we were driving, at night, with very limited phone reception, and got in late.

The next morning his father posted on Facebook, before we'd had a chance to tell many people, "Don't forget to change your relationship status!"

On our honeymoon, my husband texted his parents a couple of updates from our trip. They posted the texts on Facebook, word for word. We flipped when we found out, and ordered them to delete the posts.

My opinion: how other people utilise social media should guide how you interact with them on social media. If they are private, respect that. If you visit their profile to congratulate them on news (engagement, birth, etc) and see no reference to it, sit on your damn hands.

My Father is terrible about this. I think it's a vicarious thing. When my siblings or I accomplish something or have a positive life event, we have to make sure we tell him specifically to keep it a secret. It sucks when someone steals your thunder, I understand he's proud, it just feels really.... cheap(?), maybe that's not the right word.
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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4714 on: July 03, 2016, 06:38:52 PM »

Not just a generational thing.

My now-husband and I got engaged in the evening. We had left Town A, where we were living, driven to Town B, he proposed, then we got in the car to travel to Town C to visit my parents for my birthday (I knew about everything except the stop-off at Town B and the proposal). So we were driving, at night, with very limited phone reception, and got in late.

The next morning his father posted on Facebook, before we'd had a chance to tell many people, "Don't forget to change your relationship status!"

On our honeymoon, my husband texted his parents a couple of updates from our trip. They posted the texts on Facebook, word for word. We flipped when we found out, and ordered them to delete the posts.

My opinion: how other people utilise social media should guide how you interact with them on social media. If they are private, respect that. If you visit their profile to congratulate them on news (engagement, birth, etc) and see no reference to it, sit on your damn hands.

My Father is terrible about this. I think it's a vicarious thing. When my siblings or I accomplish something or have a positive life event, we have to make sure we tell him specifically to keep it a secret. It sucks when someone steals your thunder, I understand he's proud, it just feels really.... cheap(?), maybe that's not the right word.

Gossip has always existed, and one of the first things some people do when they get a piece of news is yap it around to everyone who will listen. ("Mom? Did you really need to tell Aunt Marge that I had emergency surgery to remove an embarrassing item?")

All social media does is allow a determined gossip to do maximum damage with one revelation, and to provide proof of the incident after the fact so that you can be annoyed by it repeatedly instead of only once.
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theadvicist

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4715 on: July 04, 2016, 04:10:32 AM »

Gossip has always existed, and one of the first things some people do when they get a piece of news is yap it around to everyone who will listen. ("Mom? Did you really need to tell Aunt Marge that I had emergency surgery to remove an embarrassing item?")

All social media does is allow a determined gossip to do maximum damage with one revelation, and to provide proof of the incident after the fact so that you can be annoyed by it repeatedly instead of only once.

Well, yes and no. Social media vastly improves the reach of the gossip. How many people the gossiper would see and tell in person is much fewer than the number they will likely reach with one facebook post. Also, it cements the gossip in cyberspace, potentially making it searchable, and creating a record.

So I agree people have always, and will always gossip. But social media does, in my opinion make it both easier and more fraught.


My Father is terrible about this. I think it's a vicarious thing. When my siblings or I accomplish something or have a positive life event, we have to make sure we tell him specifically to keep it a secret. It sucks when someone steals your thunder, I understand he's proud, it just feels really.... cheap(?), maybe that's not the right word.

My parents have done stuff like this too. To me it feels like bragging. Is that the word you're after? Or am I projecting?!

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4716 on: July 04, 2016, 04:21:15 AM »

Not just a generational thing.

My now-husband and I got engaged in the evening. We had left Town A, where we were living, driven to Town B, he proposed, then we got in the car to travel to Town C to visit my parents for my birthday (I knew about everything except the stop-off at Town B and the proposal). So we were driving, at night, with very limited phone reception, and got in late.

The next morning his father posted on Facebook, before we'd had a chance to tell many people, "Don't forget to change your relationship status!"

On our honeymoon, my husband texted his parents a couple of updates from our trip. They posted the texts on Facebook, word for word. We flipped when we found out, and ordered them to delete the posts.

My opinion: how other people utilise social media should guide how you interact with them on social media. If they are private, respect that. If you visit their profile to congratulate them on news (engagement, birth, etc) and see no reference to it, sit on your damn hands.

My Father is terrible about this. I think it's a vicarious thing. When my siblings or I accomplish something or have a positive life event, we have to make sure we tell him specifically to keep it a secret. It sucks when someone steals your thunder, I understand he's proud, it just feels really.... cheap(?), maybe that's not the right word.

Cheap in the sense that it cheapens the experience for you, maybe?

What is odd with the ILs is the disparity between their lukewarm responses to us, and the enthusiasm with which they shout our lives from the rooftops. If they're going to be happy for us, couldn't they be happy for us in front of us?

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4717 on: July 05, 2016, 07:10:18 AM »
I'm seeing a lot of people on FB posting about how great their bf/gf/fiance/husband/wife is. One person posted that her fiance brought her coffee because she was having a rough day.

I feel like people that post gushing things about their SO are either compensating for something or feel like the world needs to know everything. I feel rather disinclined to pursue anyone that posts their life on social media. I know a lady that posted about a blind date and how she kept checking out a guy at another table. I hope she realizes that her date might see that?

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4718 on: July 05, 2016, 08:10:19 AM »

Not just a generational thing.

My now-husband and I got engaged in the evening. We had left Town A, where we were living, driven to Town B, he proposed, then we got in the car to travel to Town C to visit my parents for my birthday (I knew about everything except the stop-off at Town B and the proposal). So we were driving, at night, with very limited phone reception, and got in late.

The next morning his father posted on Facebook, before we'd had a chance to tell many people, "Don't forget to change your relationship status!"

On our honeymoon, my husband texted his parents a couple of updates from our trip. They posted the texts on Facebook, word for word. We flipped when we found out, and ordered them to delete the posts.

My opinion: how other people utilise social media should guide how you interact with them on social media. If they are private, respect that. If you visit their profile to congratulate them on news (engagement, birth, etc) and see no reference to it, sit on your damn hands.

My Father is terrible about this. I think it's a vicarious thing. When my siblings or I accomplish something or have a positive life event, we have to make sure we tell him specifically to keep it a secret. It sucks when someone steals your thunder, I understand he's proud, it just feels really.... cheap(?), maybe that's not the right word.

Cheap in the sense that it cheapens the experience for you, maybe?

What is odd with the ILs is the disparity between their lukewarm responses to us, and the enthusiasm with which they shout our lives from the rooftops. If they're going to be happy for us, couldn't they be happy for us in front of us?

Yes, we get this with my in-laws too, but it's about get togethers.  In person the experience is polite but usually a bit awkward, especially after a few days of everyone being passive aggressive to each other.  My MIL will want to go home instead of stopping at a brewery after dinner, but never states this desire out loud, and then have one beer and not join in the conversation at the brewery b/c she doesn't want to be there.  Meanwhile, on facebook there are instagram-worthy shots of the beers on the table with a caption saying "Having so much fun at xyz brewery with the kids-check out the cool beers! :)"  And if you haven't liked it by the next day, she'll tag you in it "so you know she put something up".  Ugh.  I wish some of the social media enthusiasm would seep into real life enthusiasm.  I mean, if they were teenagers I'd understand, but they're not.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4719 on: July 05, 2016, 09:05:41 AM »
I had a facebook account that I hadn't used or checked for years.  My wife (gf at the time) ended up deleting her account and then a year or so later wanted to get back on facebook, primarily to share photos with family/friends.  Instead of making a new one, we just used my old account under a joint name.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4720 on: July 05, 2016, 10:36:29 AM »
I wish some of the social media enthusiasm would seep into real life enthusiasm.

THAT!

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4721 on: July 05, 2016, 11:00:28 AM »

Yes, we get this with my in-laws too, but it's about get togethers.  In person the experience is polite but usually a bit awkward, especially after a few days of everyone being passive aggressive to each other.  My MIL will want to go home instead of stopping at a brewery after dinner, but never states this desire out loud, and then have one beer and not join in the conversation at the brewery b/c she doesn't want to be there.  Meanwhile, on facebook there are instagram-worthy shots of the beers on the table with a caption saying "Having so much fun at xyz brewery with the kids-check out the cool beers! :)"  And if you haven't liked it by the next day, she'll tag you in it "so you know she put something up".  Ugh.  I wish some of the social media enthusiasm would seep into real life enthusiasm.  I mean, if they were teenagers I'd understand, but they're not.

This sort of thing makes me CRAZY. A while back I hosted a friend and an acquaintance in my destination city. Friend and I tried so hard to help acquaintance have a good time, but she pouted, whined, and crabbed her way through the whole weekend, never wanting to do what we suggested OR suggest anything herself. In the end, we were both so relieved when she finally left. Then we noticed her FB status which (bizarrely) had multiple posts PER DAY about how much fun she was having, and how awesome my city was. I hadn't checked FB while she was here because I was, you know, trying to make sure she had a good time. #neverinvitedback

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4722 on: July 05, 2016, 11:43:01 AM »

Yes, we get this with my in-laws too, but it's about get togethers.  In person the experience is polite but usually a bit awkward, especially after a few days of everyone being passive aggressive to each other.  My MIL will want to go home instead of stopping at a brewery after dinner, but never states this desire out loud, and then have one beer and not join in the conversation at the brewery b/c she doesn't want to be there.  Meanwhile, on facebook there are instagram-worthy shots of the beers on the table with a caption saying "Having so much fun at xyz brewery with the kids-check out the cool beers! :)"  And if you haven't liked it by the next day, she'll tag you in it "so you know she put something up".  Ugh.  I wish some of the social media enthusiasm would seep into real life enthusiasm.  I mean, if they were teenagers I'd understand, but they're not.

This sort of thing makes me CRAZY. A while back I hosted a friend and an acquaintance in my destination city. Friend and I tried so hard to help acquaintance have a good time, but she pouted, whined, and crabbed her way through the whole weekend, never wanting to do what we suggested OR suggest anything herself. In the end, we were both so relieved when she finally left. Then we noticed her FB status which (bizarrely) had multiple posts PER DAY about how much fun she was having, and how awesome my city was. I hadn't checked FB while she was here because I was, you know, trying to make sure she had a good time. #neverinvitedback

I know a teen who whines and bitches the entire time I take her somewhere, who complains about absolutely everything, and who is glued to her phone to the point she gets snotty with me when we drive through a dead zone or when I ask her to put it away at the table and eat like a civilized person. But later her social media posts are full of pictures of the great time she's having. I often wonder: which of those feelings are real?
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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4723 on: July 05, 2016, 11:51:22 AM »

Yes, we get this with my in-laws too, but it's about get togethers.  In person the experience is polite but usually a bit awkward, especially after a few days of everyone being passive aggressive to each other.  My MIL will want to go home instead of stopping at a brewery after dinner, but never states this desire out loud, and then have one beer and not join in the conversation at the brewery b/c she doesn't want to be there.  Meanwhile, on facebook there are instagram-worthy shots of the beers on the table with a caption saying "Having so much fun at xyz brewery with the kids-check out the cool beers! :)"  And if you haven't liked it by the next day, she'll tag you in it "so you know she put something up".  Ugh.  I wish some of the social media enthusiasm would seep into real life enthusiasm.  I mean, if they were teenagers I'd understand, but they're not.

This sort of thing makes me CRAZY. A while back I hosted a friend and an acquaintance in my destination city. Friend and I tried so hard to help acquaintance have a good time, but she pouted, whined, and crabbed her way through the whole weekend, never wanting to do what we suggested OR suggest anything herself. In the end, we were both so relieved when she finally left. Then we noticed her FB status which (bizarrely) had multiple posts PER DAY about how much fun she was having, and how awesome my city was. I hadn't checked FB while she was here because I was, you know, trying to make sure she had a good time. #neverinvitedback

I know a teen who whines and bitches the entire time I take her somewhere, who complains about absolutely everything, and who is glued to her phone to the point she gets snotty with me when we drive through a dead zone or when I ask her to put it away at the table and eat like a civilized person. But later her social media posts are full of pictures of the great time she's having. I often wonder: which of those feelings are real?

I wonder too which of the feelings are real.  This sounds very odd to me - how the person appears in the situation and how they want it to look on their Facebook account.   I'm just scratching head over here.   I'm guessing that a fun-looking Facebook image is more important than reality of the experience?

Full disclosure - I'm a person who is very new to Facebook and am mainly on it to communicate with a real life friend who has had to move away temporarily for medical reasons.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4724 on: July 05, 2016, 12:45:54 PM »

Yes, we get this with my in-laws too, but it's about get togethers.  In person the experience is polite but usually a bit awkward, especially after a few days of everyone being passive aggressive to each other.  My MIL will want to go home instead of stopping at a brewery after dinner, but never states this desire out loud, and then have one beer and not join in the conversation at the brewery b/c she doesn't want to be there.  Meanwhile, on facebook there are instagram-worthy shots of the beers on the table with a caption saying "Having so much fun at xyz brewery with the kids-check out the cool beers! :)"  And if you haven't liked it by the next day, she'll tag you in it "so you know she put something up".  Ugh.  I wish some of the social media enthusiasm would seep into real life enthusiasm.  I mean, if they were teenagers I'd understand, but they're not.

This sort of thing makes me CRAZY. A while back I hosted a friend and an acquaintance in my destination city. Friend and I tried so hard to help acquaintance have a good time, but she pouted, whined, and crabbed her way through the whole weekend, never wanting to do what we suggested OR suggest anything herself. In the end, we were both so relieved when she finally left. Then we noticed her FB status which (bizarrely) had multiple posts PER DAY about how much fun she was having, and how awesome my city was. I hadn't checked FB while she was here because I was, you know, trying to make sure she had a good time. #neverinvitedback

I know a teen who whines and bitches the entire time I take her somewhere, who complains about absolutely everything, and who is glued to her phone to the point she gets snotty with me when we drive through a dead zone or when I ask her to put it away at the table and eat like a civilized person. But later her social media posts are full of pictures of the great time she's having. I often wonder: which of those feelings are real?

I wonder too which of the feelings are real.  This sounds very odd to me - how the person appears in the situation and how they want it to look on their Facebook account.   I'm just scratching head over here.   I'm guessing that a fun-looking Facebook image is more important than reality of the experience?

Full disclosure - I'm a person who is very new to Facebook and am mainly on it to communicate with a real life friend who has had to move away temporarily for medical reasons.

To be fair I think this is a manifestation of a behavior that's been around for a long time.  If you are Jewish or Eastern European or "insert nationality with well established guilt tripping and familial boasting" you've experienced this or seen it.  I've seen it in my EE parents and family where they are not happy with you but when talking to someone else they boast about everything and anything.  It's about managing your "standing" in the community and always appearing you and your family are doing better than everyone else.

Facebook, like with all other social evils, exacerbates this phenomenon.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4725 on: July 05, 2016, 12:47:54 PM »

Yes, we get this with my in-laws too, but it's about get togethers.  In person the experience is polite but usually a bit awkward, especially after a few days of everyone being passive aggressive to each other.  My MIL will want to go home instead of stopping at a brewery after dinner, but never states this desire out loud, and then have one beer and not join in the conversation at the brewery b/c she doesn't want to be there.  Meanwhile, on facebook there are instagram-worthy shots of the beers on the table with a caption saying "Having so much fun at xyz brewery with the kids-check out the cool beers! :)"  And if you haven't liked it by the next day, she'll tag you in it "so you know she put something up".  Ugh.  I wish some of the social media enthusiasm would seep into real life enthusiasm.  I mean, if they were teenagers I'd understand, but they're not.

This sort of thing makes me CRAZY. A while back I hosted a friend and an acquaintance in my destination city. Friend and I tried so hard to help acquaintance have a good time, but she pouted, whined, and crabbed her way through the whole weekend, never wanting to do what we suggested OR suggest anything herself. In the end, we were both so relieved when she finally left. Then we noticed her FB status which (bizarrely) had multiple posts PER DAY about how much fun she was having, and how awesome my city was. I hadn't checked FB while she was here because I was, you know, trying to make sure she had a good time. #neverinvitedback

I know a teen who whines and bitches the entire time I take her somewhere, who complains about absolutely everything, and who is glued to her phone to the point she gets snotty with me when we drive through a dead zone or when I ask her to put it away at the table and eat like a civilized person. But later her social media posts are full of pictures of the great time she's having. I often wonder: which of those feelings are real?

I wonder too which of the feelings are real.  This sounds very odd to me - how the person appears in the situation and how they want it to look on their Facebook account.   I'm just scratching head over here.   I'm guessing that a fun-looking Facebook image is more important than reality of the experience?

Wow, I've heard many times that you can't always tell how a person's life really is judging by their rosy facebook posts, and I believed that.  I just didn't realize what a huge juxtaposition there could be.  So weird to me how the individuals discussed above act SO differently in the real situation versus the same situation as posted on facebook.  That strikes me as some sort of sickness perhaps.
« Last Edit: July 05, 2016, 12:49:27 PM by LeRainDrop »

nr

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4726 on: July 05, 2016, 02:14:57 PM »
I'll just leave this attachment right here...


gooki

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4727 on: July 05, 2016, 03:33:50 PM »
Are they millionaires, where they gifted all those shoes?
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nr

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4728 on: July 05, 2016, 03:36:10 PM »
Are they millionaires, where they gifted all those shoes?

Neither. Just another young 30something year old couple still renting and leasing cars.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4729 on: July 05, 2016, 06:00:05 PM »
I'll just leave this attachment right here...

WOW!  My 9 month old was gifted some shoes but has not actually worn them!  In fact she has never worn shoes, I figure she will have plenty of years for shoes so let her toesies be free!

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4730 on: July 06, 2016, 05:44:31 AM »
"You could have put the neutrals with the earth tones."

Yeah. That's what's wrong with this picture.

onlykelsey

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4731 on: July 06, 2016, 05:46:36 AM »
"You could have put the neutrals with the earth tones."

Yeah. That's what's wrong with this picture.

How gauche.

Kitsune

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4732 on: July 06, 2016, 07:11:13 AM »
I'll just leave this attachment right here...

WOW!  My 9 month old was gifted some shoes but has not actually worn them!  In fact she has never worn shoes, I figure she will have plenty of years for shoes so let her toesies be free!

... WOW. Yeah, I started putting crib-shoes (soft soles, cheap, cute) on my daughter around 8-9 months old, mostly because it was getting chilly and she'd pull her socks off otherwise. But, like... Wow.

I'm pretty sure that's more shoes than I own, and I'm an adult woman who doesn't change shoe sizes.

Making Cookies

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4733 on: July 06, 2016, 07:32:55 AM »
That might be more shoes than I've owned over the past decade or two! ;)

deadlymonkey

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4734 on: July 06, 2016, 08:12:51 AM »
wow, I feel like we go through a pair of shoes a month with my growing toddlers running around.  They could one of the those pair a shoes a day and not get through them all before they outgrow them.

mlejw6

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4735 on: July 06, 2016, 08:15:24 AM »
... How does one..... organize by fringe.......?
I can't even
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merula

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4736 on: July 06, 2016, 08:18:22 AM »
... How does one..... organize by fringe.......?
I can't even

Easy. You take the length of the fringe multiplied by the number of individual fringe pieces to get a linear length of total fringe, and then sort in descending linear fringe length order.

Inaya

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4737 on: July 06, 2016, 08:31:08 AM »
...adorbs??
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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4738 on: July 06, 2016, 08:51:38 AM »
... How does one..... organize by fringe.......?
I can't even

Some have fringe, some have bows, some have nothing.

Obviously within those categories they would still need to be organized by color.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4739 on: July 06, 2016, 10:30:58 AM »
... How does one..... organize by fringe.......?
I can't even

Some have fringe, some have bows, some have nothing.

Obviously within those categories they would still need to be organized by color.

We probably need to run a regression

StockBeard

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4740 on: July 06, 2016, 03:05:56 PM »
*checks own baby's shoes*
We have two pairs, both were gifted. I'd become mad if we had more. Where would we put all that crap?

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4741 on: July 06, 2016, 03:11:29 PM »
This talk of shoes for baby remind me of a short story reportedly written by Hemingway.

"For sale: Baby shoes, never worn."

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4742 on: July 06, 2016, 03:23:30 PM »
I feel this is part of the FB generation.  Somehow it's become for them that something is not "real" unless it's been lauded on FB.  I see this all the time: birthday wishes and pics of presents, thanking people on FB (wtf happened to a phone call or a thank you card?), posting anniversary things publicly on FB for everyone to see (like wtf you didn't marry everyone you married your SO) etc...  It's just part of the "attention whore" ie FB generation.
One of my younger cousins actually said "didn't really happen till its on facebook!" at our wedding.  She's a very sweet young lady - mostly a joke, I'm sure.

My husband and I have never been Facebook-official, despite being millennials. Can't say how many minds I've blown with this fact. I usually joke that I'm not ready for that kind of commitment.

TravelJunkyQC

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4743 on: July 10, 2016, 08:28:54 AM »
Just found on my Facebook wall, posted by one of my former colleagues. Translated into english it means: "I don't spend, I reward myself" (in French, these two words rhyme). Ugh.

Her comment that she put along with it was that it's "good for the soul".
« Last Edit: July 10, 2016, 08:30:48 AM by TravelJunkyQC »

mm1970

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4744 on: July 10, 2016, 10:13:41 AM »
I'll just leave this attachment right here...

WOW!  My 9 month old was gifted some shoes but has not actually worn them!  In fact she has never worn shoes, I figure she will have plenty of years for shoes so let her toesies be free!

... WOW. Yeah, I started putting crib-shoes (soft soles, cheap, cute) on my daughter around 8-9 months old, mostly because it was getting chilly and she'd pull her socks off otherwise. But, like... Wow.

I'm pretty sure that's more shoes than I own, and I'm an adult woman who doesn't change shoe sizes.
My little guy had a pair of those soft leather shoes.  Then another when he grew out of them.  And then, 6 years later, his little brother wore them out.  I think that's it.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4745 on: July 10, 2016, 09:38:58 PM »
An acquaintance mentioned she'd recently cleaned out the change cubby in her car and tallied $180.  Mostly change from her daily (or more frequent) lemonade stops. 

Since I rarely use cash, I commented that I'm pretty sure I don't amass that much change (anywhere, not just the car) over five years.  She replied that the last time she cleaned out the car (about a year ago), her change total was over $200.
Unless she gets all her change in susan b Anthony's, I don't see how this is even possible. I keep jars of change and a full red solo cup of change usually adds up to about $35.  How big is her change cubby? 
Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand

MrsWhipple

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4746 on: July 10, 2016, 10:32:27 PM »
How big is her change cubby?
That's probably what she calls the glove compartment ;)

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4747 on: July 11, 2016, 06:15:57 AM »
A friend has adopted the hashtag #confessionsofashoeaddict, and trots it out weekly with photos of her latest purchases.

*eyeroll*

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4748 on: July 11, 2016, 08:45:45 AM »
A friend has adopted the hashtag #confessionsofashoeaddict, and trots it out weekly with photos of her latest purchases.

*eyeroll*

I, too, am a hoe addict

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4749 on: July 11, 2016, 09:36:22 AM »
This talk of shoes for baby remind me of a short story reportedly written by Hemingway.

"For sale: Baby shoes, never worn."

I got some of those (they were gifts). And a whole closet full of clothes- basically first 12 months covered.  Thankfully all clothes were bought at garage sales or on schoola, so it represents about $60 of spending.