Author Topic: Overheard on Facebook  (Read 2253650 times)

Squirrel away

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4350 on: April 29, 2016, 09:20:09 AM »

vivophoenix

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4351 on: April 29, 2016, 10:23:52 AM »
I've taken the morning after pill a couple of times and not had any side effects, although I know some of my friends said they felt rough afterwards.

I've never had to take it myself, but my old roommate did - cramps of doom, headaches, some nausea. Not, like, world-ending crap, but generally feeling super run-down and 'staying on the couch with TV and advil and a hot water bottle, come get me in 2 days'. Not something I'd voluntarily sign up for.

Not to derail, but...I've heard things like this before (usually regular period related), and always wondered: what exactly do you DO with the hot water bottle??

Fill it with super-hot water and put it on your stomach - like, lower stomach, just above the pubic bone. It helps with cramps A LOT (usually more than advil or aleve).

Bad cramps, for the men here, basically feel like having an iron railroad spike dug into the bit of skin between the hipbone and stomach (like, where the ovaries are, if you look at a diagram...) right through your stomach and into the lower back. Basically, if it's really bad, you wind up curled up around the pain in a fetal position. Advil takes a half-hour to kick in, so you take the advil (because effing OW), but the hot water bottle is a muscle relaxant that really helps the pain immediately... but once the heat goes away, the pain comes back.

Hot baths help, too - same logic.
I usually reference this scene in Spaceballs when describing menstrual cramps.

Yes, I know that is itself an Alien reference.

You know what kind of menstrual cramps I particularly love? The kind so bad that the pain shoots all the way down your thighs! No lie, I once had an attack so bad and sudden that I abandoned a pot cooking on the stove by suddenly sinking to the linoleum, curling into a ball, and stayed on the floor rocking and hyperventilating for the 3 or 4 minutes that it took for that round to ease off. Every time I think I might go off the pill, I remember those days, and think...maybe I'll stay on it another year LOL.
Mine were often like that as a teenager. I had to take the day off school, and my mom would give me aspirin washed down with a small glass of white wine. Wine dulled the pain and put me to sleep so the aspirin could kick in. I want to get off the pill, but it has been life changing.

i will now be adding white wine to my current regimen of pills and heating pads

Kitsune

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4352 on: April 29, 2016, 10:56:21 AM »
I've taken the morning after pill a couple of times and not had any side effects, although I know some of my friends said they felt rough afterwards.

I've never had to take it myself, but my old roommate did - cramps of doom, headaches, some nausea. Not, like, world-ending crap, but generally feeling super run-down and 'staying on the couch with TV and advil and a hot water bottle, come get me in 2 days'. Not something I'd voluntarily sign up for.

Not to derail, but...I've heard things like this before (usually regular period related), and always wondered: what exactly do you DO with the hot water bottle??

Fill it with super-hot water and put it on your stomach - like, lower stomach, just above the pubic bone. It helps with cramps A LOT (usually more than advil or aleve).

Bad cramps, for the men here, basically feel like having an iron railroad spike dug into the bit of skin between the hipbone and stomach (like, where the ovaries are, if you look at a diagram...) right through your stomach and into the lower back. Basically, if it's really bad, you wind up curled up around the pain in a fetal position. Advil takes a half-hour to kick in, so you take the advil (because effing OW), but the hot water bottle is a muscle relaxant that really helps the pain immediately... but once the heat goes away, the pain comes back.

Hot baths help, too - same logic.
I usually reference this scene in Spaceballs when describing menstrual cramps.

Yes, I know that is itself an Alien reference.

You know what kind of menstrual cramps I particularly love? The kind so bad that the pain shoots all the way down your thighs! No lie, I once had an attack so bad and sudden that I abandoned a pot cooking on the stove by suddenly sinking to the linoleum, curling into a ball, and stayed on the floor rocking and hyperventilating for the 3 or 4 minutes that it took for that round to ease off. Every time I think I might go off the pill, I remember those days, and think...maybe I'll stay on it another year LOL.
Mine were often like that as a teenager. I had to take the day off school, and my mom would give me aspirin washed down with a small glass of white wine. Wine dulled the pain and put me to sleep so the aspirin could kick in. I want to get off the pill, but it has been life changing.

i will now be adding white wine to my current regimen of pills and heating pads

Well, the traditional remedy is a glass of sherry...

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4353 on: April 29, 2016, 11:01:00 AM »
I've taken the morning after pill a couple of times and not had any side effects, although I know some of my friends said they felt rough afterwards.

I've never had to take it myself, but my old roommate did - cramps of doom, headaches, some nausea. Not, like, world-ending crap, but generally feeling super run-down and 'staying on the couch with TV and advil and a hot water bottle, come get me in 2 days'. Not something I'd voluntarily sign up for.

Not to derail, but...I've heard things like this before (usually regular period related), and always wondered: what exactly do you DO with the hot water bottle??

Fill it with super-hot water and put it on your stomach - like, lower stomach, just above the pubic bone. It helps with cramps A LOT (usually more than advil or aleve).

Bad cramps, for the men here, basically feel like having an iron railroad spike dug into the bit of skin between the hipbone and stomach (like, where the ovaries are, if you look at a diagram...) right through your stomach and into the lower back. Basically, if it's really bad, you wind up curled up around the pain in a fetal position. Advil takes a half-hour to kick in, so you take the advil (because effing OW), but the hot water bottle is a muscle relaxant that really helps the pain immediately... but once the heat goes away, the pain comes back.

Hot baths help, too - same logic.
I usually reference this scene in Spaceballs when describing menstrual cramps.

Yes, I know that is itself an Alien reference.

You know what kind of menstrual cramps I particularly love? The kind so bad that the pain shoots all the way down your thighs! No lie, I once had an attack so bad and sudden that I abandoned a pot cooking on the stove by suddenly sinking to the linoleum, curling into a ball, and stayed on the floor rocking and hyperventilating for the 3 or 4 minutes that it took for that round to ease off. Every time I think I might go off the pill, I remember those days, and think...maybe I'll stay on it another year LOL.
Mine were often like that as a teenager. I had to take the day off school, and my mom would give me aspirin washed down with a small glass of white wine. Wine dulled the pain and put me to sleep so the aspirin could kick in. I want to get off the pill, but it has been life changing.

i will now be adding white wine to my current regimen of pills and heating pads

Well, the traditional remedy is a glass of sherry...

Reminds of this dialogue from the first season of West Wing

Lord Marbury : You know, there are some marvelous flu remedies known in the certain remote parts of the subcontinent. Licorice root, for instance, combined with bamboo sap and a strong shot of whiskey. Ginger root, also, mixed with, uh, citrus peel.
Bartlett : And a strong shot of whiskey?
Lord Marbury : Actually, you can leave everything out except the shot of whiskey.

shelivesthedream

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4354 on: April 29, 2016, 05:13:49 PM »
I've taken the morning after pill a couple of times and not had any side effects, although I know some of my friends said they felt rough afterwards.

I've never had to take it myself, but my old roommate did - cramps of doom, headaches, some nausea. Not, like, world-ending crap, but generally feeling super run-down and 'staying on the couch with TV and advil and a hot water bottle, come get me in 2 days'. Not something I'd voluntarily sign up for.

Not to derail, but...I've heard things like this before (usually regular period related), and always wondered: what exactly do you DO with the hot water bottle??

Fill it with super-hot water and put it on your stomach - like, lower stomach, just above the pubic bone. It helps with cramps A LOT (usually more than advil or aleve).

Bad cramps, for the men here, basically feel like having an iron railroad spike dug into the bit of skin between the hipbone and stomach (like, where the ovaries are, if you look at a diagram...) right through your stomach and into the lower back. Basically, if it's really bad, you wind up curled up around the pain in a fetal position. Advil takes a half-hour to kick in, so you take the advil (because effing OW), but the hot water bottle is a muscle relaxant that really helps the pain immediately... but once the heat goes away, the pain comes back.

Hot baths help, too - same logic.
I usually reference this scene in Spaceballs when describing menstrual cramps.

Yes, I know that is itself an Alien reference.

You know what kind of menstrual cramps I particularly love? The kind so bad that the pain shoots all the way down your thighs! No lie, I once had an attack so bad and sudden that I abandoned a pot cooking on the stove by suddenly sinking to the linoleum, curling into a ball, and stayed on the floor rocking and hyperventilating for the 3 or 4 minutes that it took for that round to ease off. Every time I think I might go off the pill, I remember those days, and think...maybe I'll stay on it another year LOL.
Mine were often like that as a teenager. I had to take the day off school, and my mom would give me aspirin washed down with a small glass of white wine. Wine dulled the pain and put me to sleep so the aspirin could kick in. I want to get off the pill, but it has been life changing.

Yup. Agony, fainting, day(s) off school every month... I got on the pill at 15 when my mother marched me to the doctor and said, "She is taking her GCSEs next year and I want her to be able to stand upright on exam day. You are prescribing her the pill." It was a miracle drug for me. Changed my life, really. We're sort of starting to think about maybe having children at some point, and "Oh no, what if I go off the pill and the PERIODS OF PAIN AND DOOM come back??" is a big thought. I'm told that they usually don't come back as bad, but it's a helluva risk.

Zaga

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4355 on: April 29, 2016, 06:48:01 PM »
I had periods of doom, 2 days of every month pretty much miserable.  Turns out I had endometriosis, took 22 years to get diagnosed.  If you have terrible pain monthly, look it up, it's fairly common but very difficult to diagnose.

Now I have no uterus, I couldn't be happier!  I figure all told that about 2 years of my life were lost to pain.  Fucking waste.

steviesterno

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4356 on: April 30, 2016, 07:36:39 AM »
big Facebook debate here over night, our property values are increasing exponentially, so our property taxes are increasing as well. but taxes are capped at 10% growth per year, and values are going faster than that. And everyone is furious. It's simple math. my house is up like 20k and it's going to cost me $500 this year. I would do unforgivable things to get that rate of return with any of my other investments.

but so many of the people in this town bought more house than they can afford, and have 2 leased new SUVs or Luxury sedans in their driveway. I drive my toyota past them on my way to work, thinking about how at this rate I can Fire early and move to Tuscany instead of rural PA...

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4357 on: April 30, 2016, 08:47:32 AM »
I had periods of doom, 2 days of every month pretty much miserable.  Turns out I had endometriosis, took 22 years to get diagnosed.  If you have terrible pain monthly, look it up, it's fairly common but very difficult to diagnose.

Now I have no uterus, I couldn't be happier!  I figure all told that about 2 years of my life were lost to pain.  Fucking waste.

Yeah...I have PCOS, so my hormones are all screwy anyway, and that likely accounts for some of the pain when off the pill.

frugalparagon

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4358 on: April 30, 2016, 09:27:09 AM »
Just a word of encouragement--I don't think my periods were ever as bad as some of the ladies on here, but they did occasionally move me to tears and interfere with my daily activities and/or sleep. Went on the pill from ages 18-27. There was a year and a half of wonkiness (but not discomfort), then I got pregnant. Post-childbearing, they did not come back NEARLY as bad. I rarely experience cramps at all, just some headaches and crankiness.

And actually, the Pill was causing a lot of low-level irritations that I didn't realize until they were gone--moodiness, general malaise.

I think a lot of people level out in adulthood, maybe? Like it's worst as teens?
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AlanStache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4359 on: April 30, 2016, 06:16:46 PM »
big Facebook debate here over night, our property values are increasing exponentially, so our property taxes are increasing as well. but taxes are capped at 10% growth per year, and values are going faster than that. And everyone is furious. It's simple math. my house is up like 20k and it's going to cost me $500 this year. I would do unforgivable things to get that rate of return with any of my other investments.

but so many of the people in this town bought more house than they can afford, and have 2 leased new SUVs or Luxury sedans in their driveway. I drive my toyota past them on my way to work, thinking about how at this rate I can Fire early and move to Tuscany instead of rural PA...

It is inconceivable to me how some people can set up there lives to be so near the red.  A friend of a friend bought a large house in the country with a long commute and let slip that there budget is setup to be 40$ in the black each month.  WTF he is an engineer too.  Like 40$ is a 50cent increase in gas!  I totally get that bad things happen and some people end up in trouble for bizarre hard to plain for events, but if you are a middle aged professional and cant shrug off 500$/year you are doing something wrong. 

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ender

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4360 on: April 30, 2016, 07:40:37 PM »
big Facebook debate here over night, our property values are increasing exponentially, so our property taxes are increasing as well. but taxes are capped at 10% growth per year, and values are going faster than that. And everyone is furious. It's simple math. my house is up like 20k and it's going to cost me $500 this year. I would do unforgivable things to get that rate of return with any of my other investments.

but so many of the people in this town bought more house than they can afford, and have 2 leased new SUVs or Luxury sedans in their driveway. I drive my toyota past them on my way to work, thinking about how at this rate I can Fire early and move to Tuscany instead of rural PA...

It is inconceivable to me how some people can set up there lives to be so near the red.  A friend of a friend bought a large house in the country with a long commute and let slip that there budget is setup to be 40$ in the black each month.  WTF he is an engineer too.  Like 40$ is a 50cent increase in gas!  I totally get that bad things happen and some people end up in trouble for bizarre hard to plain for events, but if you are a middle aged professional and cant shrug off 500$/year you are doing something wrong.

My wife and I are considering buying a house and are looking at our mortgage/taxes/insurance payment being in the 22-23% of our posttax, post-tithe income. Technically of just my income, too.

It feels like a lot. But... people go absolutely house bonkers. I'm sure we could push that to 30% or 35% from the bank perspective.

Kitsune

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4361 on: April 30, 2016, 09:19:43 PM »
big Facebook debate here over night, our property values are increasing exponentially, so our property taxes are increasing as well. but taxes are capped at 10% growth per year, and values are going faster than that. And everyone is furious. It's simple math. my house is up like 20k and it's going to cost me $500 this year. I would do unforgivable things to get that rate of return with any of my other investments.

but so many of the people in this town bought more house than they can afford, and have 2 leased new SUVs or Luxury sedans in their driveway. I drive my toyota past them on my way to work, thinking about how at this rate I can Fire early and move to Tuscany instead of rural PA...

It is inconceivable to me how some people can set up there lives to be so near the red.  A friend of a friend bought a large house in the country with a long commute and let slip that there budget is setup to be 40$ in the black each month.  WTF he is an engineer too.  Like 40$ is a 50cent increase in gas!  I totally get that bad things happen and some people end up in trouble for bizarre hard to plain for events, but if you are a middle aged professional and cant shrug off 500$/year you are doing something wrong.

My wife and I are considering buying a house and are looking at our mortgage/taxes/insurance payment being in the 22-23% of our posttax, post-tithe income. Technically of just my income, too.

It feels like a lot. But... people go absolutely house bonkers. I'm sure we could push that to 30% or 35% from the bank perspective.

More than that, from a bank perspective. They're ridiculous, and approve people for way more than they can afford with any security margin.

We have a big house in the country with a 45 minute commute and good but not great salaries. But mortgage, taxes, and insurance, all together, are 22-24% of our income, depending on the month. Even that sometimes feels like a whole lot.

maco

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4362 on: April 30, 2016, 11:39:46 PM »
Just a word of encouragement--I don't think my periods were ever as bad as some of the ladies on here, but they did occasionally move me to tears and interfere with my daily activities and/or sleep. Went on the pill from ages 18-27. There was a year and a half of wonkiness (but not discomfort), then I got pregnant. Post-childbearing, they did not come back NEARLY as bad. I rarely experience cramps at all, just some headaches and crankiness.

And actually, the Pill was causing a lot of low-level irritations that I didn't realize until they were gone--moodiness, general malaise.

I think a lot of people level out in adulthood, maybe? Like it's worst as teens?
Mine got better after surgical intervention. I went on BC right after the surgery, though, so I didn't know how the surgery affected my period at the time. I went off BC because it caused migraines and was pleasantly surprised to find my cramps were now bearable instead of so painful I puked if I stayed conscious.

Joggernot

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4363 on: May 01, 2016, 10:58:51 AM »
Somewhat off topic, but here is one from today that bent my mind...

"8000 LB WENCH
$175"

The mental picture it conjures up...

Nederstash

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4364 on: May 01, 2016, 11:37:38 AM »
Somewhat off topic, but here is one from today that bent my mind...

"8000 LB WENCH
$175"

The mental picture it conjures up...

Yo mama jokes in 3...2...1...

theadvicist

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4365 on: May 03, 2016, 07:02:52 AM »
Sorry to continue the over-the-counter foam, but I looked it up, and in the UK there are 3 classifications for medicines for sale:

1) 'POM': Prescription only medicine.
2) 'P': Pharmacy medicines, sales of which need Pharmacist supervision and
3) 'GSL': General sales list, which you can buy in a corner shop / petrol station for example, needing no medical supervision.

Both 2 & 3 are technically OTC, which is everything except prescription drugs (source: http://www.pagb.co.uk/regulatory/access.html). However, colloquially, I think the general usage is that "P" drugs are called OTC because they are kept behind the counter and handed to you over it, whereas "GSL" are available in many places.

This is incorrect usage, I think, as OTC actually means, as someone says above, on the consumer side of the counter.

I was talking about 2) medicines, classed as 'P', where no ID is required but you are asked questions about medical history and other current drug usage. I was using OTC to mean passed over the counter, incorrectly, but in the current lexicon.

In the US it doesn't look as though there is this classification of 'P' - it's either prescribed, or available to purchase without medical supervision. The restrictions on pseudoephedrine, requiring ID, are to control sale to limit meth production, not because of concerns about patient usage (which is the reason for the P classification). /foam

barbaz

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4366 on: May 03, 2016, 08:07:33 AM »
Ok, wait. The only drugs my pharmacy stores behind the counter are (1) actual need-a-prescription drugs and (2) pseudoephedrine because it's used to make meth. Plan B used to be over-the-counter but age restricted, so it was behind the counter and no longer is.
Here in Germany, most pharmacies have almost all drugs in a backroom because they use most of the store to sell overpriced health candy and other quackery.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4367 on: May 03, 2016, 08:26:45 AM »
Ok, wait. The only drugs my pharmacy stores behind the counter are (1) actual need-a-prescription drugs and (2) pseudoephedrine because it's used to make meth. Plan B used to be over-the-counter but age restricted, so it was behind the counter and no longer is.
Here in Germany, most pharmacies have almost all drugs in a backroom because they use most of the store to sell overpriced health candy and other quackery.

I'm stealing this phrase. It is brilliant.
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SunshineAZ

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4368 on: May 03, 2016, 08:28:27 AM »
I had periods of doom, 2 days of every month pretty much miserable.  Turns out I had endometriosis, took 22 years to get diagnosed.  If you have terrible pain monthly, look it up, it's fairly common but very difficult to diagnose.

Now I have no uterus, I couldn't be happier!  I figure all told that about 2 years of my life were lost to pain.  Fucking waste.
QFT!

I had horrible periods as a teen 3-5 days of agony, finally went on the pill and was good for many years, started dating a guy who had a vasectomy and was mid-30s and decided to go off the pill.  I was good for about a year or two and then horrible pain and heavy periods again, turns out I had fibroids.  Had a hysterectomy at 42 and I don't miss it a bit.  :)

humbleMouse

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4369 on: May 04, 2016, 01:18:01 PM »
Maybe the overheard on facebook thread could stop talking about period experiences?  Just a thought?  Start your own mustachian period thread maybe?
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shotgunwilly

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4370 on: May 04, 2016, 02:34:39 PM »
Maybe the overheard on facebook thread could stop talking about period experiences?  Just a thought?  Start your own mustachian period thread maybe?

Agreed. We need to keep the flow going. Period.

faithless

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4371 on: May 04, 2016, 03:42:32 PM »
Maybe the overheard on facebook thread could stop talking about period experiences?  Just a thought?  Start your own mustachian period thread maybe?

Agreed. We need to keep the flow going. Period.

Bloody foam!

;)

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4372 on: May 06, 2016, 10:13:00 AM »
Maybe the overheard on facebook thread could stop talking about period experiences?  Just a thought?  Start your own mustachian period thread maybe?

Agreed. We need to keep the flow going. Period.

Bloody foam!

;)

Dammit, people! I'm laughing so fucking hard I've got cramps! >.<
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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4373 on: May 07, 2016, 09:42:11 PM »
Sadly a friend of my partner's is in one of those situations where you empathise with them, even though they've made a few dumb decisions, but you can't tell them that.

The TL;DR background is that this friend is married and has a son.  The relationship fell apart in an ugly manner recently and the son is about two years old.  Currently he's living with some mutual friends while the whole custody mess goes through the courts.

I empathise with the guy, I really do.  But... He was in a car accident, and used the insurance payout to buy another 4WD and have it tricked out when he only goes four wheel driving a few times a year (we live in Australia, so no snow, either). 

While looking for his new car, he rented a car.  Our mutual friends live in a sketchy area (as in, my car got broken into while parked outside their house for a few hours and a week later somebody set fire to a stolen car that had been left in the park across the road), but despite the warning signs the police put up around the neighbourhood (e.g. 'do not leave valuables in your car) he left his work bag containing some valuables inside on the passenger seat of the rental car one night and discovered the rental vehicle had been broken into the following morning.  It's not his fault, but you'd think he'd be a bit more careful when he really can't afford to be replacing expensive stuff.

He's also up for going out to eat and the movies, but when we visited the other day all he could talk about was how poor he is and that his situation is unfair.

I dunno.  He just seems to have some messed up sense of priorities.  He's always up for distracting himself from his current situation, but isn't doing anything that will actually improve his situation.  It's hard to watch because I like the guy well enough, but I'm not really close enough to tell him to stop wasting his money, sell the 4WD and save everything he can so he can afford to meet the courts requirements so he can have custody of his son (e.g. he needs to have a separate room for the kid).

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4374 on: May 08, 2016, 10:26:14 AM »
Can I vent?

My friend and roommate is unemployed, and as far as I can tell isn't working really hard to find a new job. Daddy will bail her out if she runs out of money of course.

She got the free trial of the Graze box. I'd never heard of it, apparently they send you individually packaged healthy snacks for an inflated price. She really likes it, so instead of cancelling before she has to pay for it has decided to keep it for a while. SHE HAS NO JOB.

Had some other friends over last night, and she brought service this up and recommended it. Everyone laughed in her face. Hopefully that'll wake her up, but I kinda doubt it.

She's also really pissing me off because she DOESN'T work, and I do, and she doesn't clean. She'll cook, and make a mess in the kitchen, and not clean it up. Then I come home to a messy house, and she's the one who messed it up. And she doesn't work. If we get bugs, I'm making her clean every single inch of the house. By hand.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4375 on: May 08, 2016, 12:04:00 PM »
Can I vent?

She got the free trial of the Graze box. I'd never heard of it, apparently they send you individually packaged healthy snacks for an inflated price. She really likes it, so instead of cancelling before she has to pay for it has decided to keep it for a while. SHE HAS NO JOB.

Yes of course, that's what the main purpose of this thread is imo.

My former landlord/roommate used that service for a while. He is a huge guy (around 300 pounds though he's dropped some of it recently) and so he could eat the entire package in a sitting. I remember the first time he got it he saw the look on my face and couldn't think of anything to say, I didn't see it for very long afterwards so I'm guessing he either discontinued the service or hid it.

Sibley

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4376 on: May 08, 2016, 12:33:17 PM »
Can I vent?

She got the free trial of the Graze box. I'd never heard of it, apparently they send you individually packaged healthy snacks for an inflated price. She really likes it, so instead of cancelling before she has to pay for it has decided to keep it for a while. SHE HAS NO JOB.

Yes of course, that's what the main purpose of this thread is imo.

My former landlord/roommate used that service for a while. He is a huge guy (around 300 pounds though he's dropped some of it recently) and so he could eat the entire package in a sitting. I remember the first time he got it he saw the look on my face and couldn't think of anything to say, I didn't see it for very long afterwards so I'm guessing he either discontinued the service or hid it.

Oh yeah, she's overweight as well and is trying to lose weight.

theadvicist

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4377 on: May 09, 2016, 02:17:54 AM »
Can I vent?

She got the free trial of the Graze box. I'd never heard of it, apparently they send you individually packaged healthy snacks for an inflated price. She really likes it, so instead of cancelling before she has to pay for it has decided to keep it for a while. SHE HAS NO JOB.

Yes of course, that's what the main purpose of this thread is imo.

My former landlord/roommate used that service for a while. He is a huge guy (around 300 pounds though he's dropped some of it recently) and so he could eat the entire package in a sitting. I remember the first time he got it he saw the look on my face and couldn't think of anything to say, I didn't see it for very long afterwards so I'm guessing he either discontinued the service or hid it.

Oh yeah, she's overweight as well and is trying to lose weight.

I tried it (er, free trail, cancelled before being charged, natch). There is nothing healthy about it except the marketing. Half the items were just nuts, but instead of mixing them with raisins, you got chocolate chips (and not even dark chocolate, really sweet milk chocolate?!), and the rest were basically bombay mix but with middle-class flavourings like pepper and wasabi or sea salt and cinnamon.

Ridiculous on every level: the 'healthiness', the cost, and the very idea people need snacks POSTING to them lest they have to get off their arse and go to the shop, or even order groceries delivered to their house but then show enough organisation and restraint to organise them into small portions. Also, so much plastic packaging. I see so many Graze packs in our office post room though, so some genius will FIRE on the back of it.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4378 on: May 09, 2016, 08:14:58 AM »
Can I vent?

She got the free trial of the Graze box. I'd never heard of it, apparently they send you individually packaged healthy snacks for an inflated price. She really likes it, so instead of cancelling before she has to pay for it has decided to keep it for a while. SHE HAS NO JOB.

Yes of course, that's what the main purpose of this thread is imo.

My former landlord/roommate used that service for a while. He is a huge guy (around 300 pounds though he's dropped some of it recently) and so he could eat the entire package in a sitting. I remember the first time he got it he saw the look on my face and couldn't think of anything to say, I didn't see it for very long afterwards so I'm guessing he either discontinued the service or hid it.

Oh yeah, she's overweight as well and is trying to lose weight.

I tried it (er, free trail, cancelled before being charged, natch). There is nothing healthy about it except the marketing. Half the items were just nuts, but instead of mixing them with raisins, you got chocolate chips (and not even dark chocolate, really sweet milk chocolate?!), and the rest were basically bombay mix but with middle-class flavourings like pepper and wasabi or sea salt and cinnamon.

Ridiculous on every level: the 'healthiness', the cost, and the very idea people need snacks POSTING to them lest they have to get off their arse and go to the shop, or even order groceries delivered to their house but then show enough organisation and restraint to organise them into small portions. Also, so much plastic packaging. I see so many Graze packs in our office post room though, so some genius will FIRE on the back of it.

I should add that I don't think my roommate continued on with that expensive snacking. I saw him last night and it's clear that he has been exercising and eating better, and is trying to bike more places now that it's beautiful outside.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4379 on: May 09, 2016, 01:57:59 PM »
Posted by my distant out-of-state cousin, 35F:  Happy birthday presents for the boys, iPhone 6s and Otterbox cases!!   (the boys are maybe 10yo and 12yo)  with picture of said boys holding new-in-box iPhones and cases

5 minutes later:  Prayers out to my dad and the rest of my family.  Get well soon, we'll see you in a few days  (he had a heart attack that day, and is recovering very nicely).

5 minutes later:  Early Mother's Day present for me!! (with picture of some new iPad device)

Glad to see you could sandwich you deep concern for your father and his heart attack in between spendypants Fakebook posts!!

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")

This is the same cousin who about 3 years ago include a typed-up page with her Christmas card (which BTW was a picture of the whole fam standing in front of their newly built 5,000sf custom home):  "The boys are doing great, both involved in spendypants travel baseball teams, so if anyone would like to send money, because travel baseball is expensive……."  and then posts to FB all year from these baseball tournaments about how they are out to eat at Outback, Longhorn, etc.. and pictures of the boys drinking $10 virgin daiquiris and the like.

Ugh…..I could go on and on.

RFAAOATB

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4380 on: May 09, 2016, 04:51:13 PM »

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")


A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4381 on: May 09, 2016, 07:10:13 PM »

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")


A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

Just have your wife do it. That's what women are for, after all.

anorman79

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4382 on: May 09, 2016, 08:19:40 PM »
big Facebook debate here over night, our property values are increasing exponentially, so our property taxes are increasing as well. but taxes are capped at 10% growth per year, and values are going faster than that. And everyone is furious. It's simple math. my house is up like 20k and it's going to cost me $500 this year. I would do unforgivable things to get that rate of return with any of my other investments.

but so many of the people in this town bought more house than they can afford, and have 2 leased new SUVs or Luxury sedans in their driveway. I drive my toyota past them on my way to work, thinking about how at this rate I can Fire early and move to Tuscany instead of rural PA...

It is inconceivable to me how some people can set up there lives to be so near the red.  A friend of a friend bought a large house in the country with a long commute and let slip that there budget is setup to be 40$ in the black each month.  WTF he is an engineer too.  Like 40$ is a 50cent increase in gas!  I totally get that bad things happen and some people end up in trouble for bizarre hard to plain for events, but if you are a middle aged professional and cant shrug off 500$/year you are doing something wrong.

My wife and I are considering buying a house and are looking at our mortgage/taxes/insurance payment being in the 22-23% of our posttax, post-tithe income. Technically of just my income, too.

It feels like a lot. But... people go absolutely house bonkers. I'm sure we could push that to 30% or 35% from the bank perspective.

More than that, from a bank perspective. They're ridiculous, and approve people for way more than they can afford with any security margin.

We have a big house in the country with a 45 minute commute and good but not great salaries. But mortgage, taxes, and insurance, all together, are 22-24% of our income, depending on the month. Even that sometimes feels like a whole lot.

People always blame the evil bank, but guess what people need to take responsibility. The bank doesn't even get a full picture of people's finances really. They run credit checks and do debt/income ratios but they still can't see all the expenses people are incurring. The issue is when people suck at budgeting and assume because the bank approved them they can afford it. There were some really shady lenders pre housing crisis but most of them are long gone.

nobodyspecial

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4383 on: May 09, 2016, 09:35:37 PM »
A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

Just have your wife do it. That's what women are for, after all.
That's the reason for gay marriage - now women can have a wife to look after them aswell !
 

theadvicist

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4384 on: May 10, 2016, 05:33:53 AM »


People always blame the evil bank, but guess what people need to take responsibility. The bank doesn't even get a full picture of people's finances really. They run credit checks and do debt/income ratios but they still can't see all the expenses people are incurring. The issue is when people suck at budgeting and assume because the bank approved them they can afford it. There were some really shady lenders pre housing crisis but most of them are long gone.

Ugh, in the UK now the lending restrictions are so tight (which is a good thing), except SO MANY QUESTIONS and so much paperwork involved in our remortgage. They literally took down a line by line budget of everything, the affordability criteria is really strict here now.

I should do a post for 'mustachian people problems' thread because they just did not believe our expenses were so low.

Then when I told them I wanted to pay off a chunk of the mortgage, they were like, "well, we'll need proof of where the funds have come from!" and I'm like, "I JUST had to explain to you that we live on much less than we earn, that's where the funds came from". Among the things they asked us about as "basic living expenses" were pay TV, gambling, alcohol and tobacco!

shelivesthedream

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4385 on: May 10, 2016, 05:36:01 AM »

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")


A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

Just have your wife do it. That's what women are for, after all.

Surely a wife is more expensive than a maid, what with all the haircuts and manicures and designer handbags and... uh... all that other woman stuff they spend money on.

RWD

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4386 on: May 10, 2016, 06:49:24 AM »


People always blame the evil bank, but guess what people need to take responsibility. The bank doesn't even get a full picture of people's finances really. They run credit checks and do debt/income ratios but they still can't see all the expenses people are incurring. The issue is when people suck at budgeting and assume because the bank approved them they can afford it. There were some really shady lenders pre housing crisis but most of them are long gone.

Ugh, in the UK now the lending restrictions are so tight (which is a good thing), except SO MANY QUESTIONS and so much paperwork involved in our remortgage. They literally took down a line by line budget of everything, the affordability criteria is really strict here now.

I should do a post for 'mustachian people problems' thread because they just did not believe our expenses were so low.

Then when I told them I wanted to pay off a chunk of the mortgage, they were like, "well, we'll need proof of where the funds have come from!" and I'm like, "I JUST had to explain to you that we live on much less than we earn, that's where the funds came from". Among the things they asked us about as "basic living expenses" were pay TV, gambling, alcohol and tobacco!

Wow, that's crazy. It's not that strict here in the US but when we were getting our mortgage the lending bank wanted to see the checking account statement for a check that had already cleared...

nobodyspecial

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4387 on: May 10, 2016, 06:54:18 AM »
Wow, that's crazy. It's not that strict here in the US but when we were getting our mortgage the lending bank wanted to see the checking account statement for a check that had already cleared...
Following from a lot of media stories about the Russian billionaires and drug lords buying £MM houses in London to launder stolen money - the government stepped in and made you go through this to get a mortgage.
One rental agency told us they couldn't take £20 cash for a copy of a key - because of money laundering rules.

Thinking is apparently banned in London.

jinga nation

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4388 on: May 10, 2016, 07:34:35 AM »
Wow, that's crazy. It's not that strict here in the US but when we were getting our mortgage the lending bank wanted to see the checking account statement for a check that had already cleared...
Following from a lot of media stories about the Russian billionaires and drug lords buying £MM houses in London to launder stolen money - the government stepped in and made you go through this to get a mortgage.
One rental agency told us they couldn't take £20 cash for a copy of a key - because of money laundering rules.

Thinking is apparently banned in London.
It has been for a while. Even my wife, who lived there from 1997-2004, is astonished. Using logic will soon be criminalized. V for Vendetta. The Victorians are rolling in their graves.
If I genuinely enjoy my profession and workplace, is there a reason to FIRE? Keep Calm and Carry On Milking.

theadvicist

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4389 on: May 10, 2016, 08:35:01 AM »
Yep the money laundering regs are ridiculous!

We have (like any good mustacians) lots of money. I want to pay some off the mortgage, and they need to see where it came from. So I sent two years of bank statements (that's as long as our last mortgage, and as long as the linked account it's in has been open).

The statement clearly show x going in each month, only y going out each month, resulting in z underspend each month. z timesed by the number of months we've owned the house equals the savings.

But because we brought some savings into this account from a previous savings account (because all like good MMM followers we move the money to where the best rates are) they want statements for that account showing the underspend too... but that account was online only and I closed it 2 years ago, so that I would be eligible for 'new customer' bonuses again. Ahhhh!

RFAAOATB

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4390 on: May 10, 2016, 09:29:17 AM »

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")


A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

Just have your wife do it. That's what women are for, after all.


That's what poor women are for.  Rich women outsource that to poor women.  As Senator Warren predicted, we fall in to the two income trap.  We would rather have more income for luxuries, savings, and self worth via job satisfaction than have one of us stay at home. 


mm1970

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4391 on: May 10, 2016, 10:27:27 AM »

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")


A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

Just have your wife do it. That's what women are for, after all.


That's what poor women are for.  Rich women outsource that to poor women.  As Senator Warren predicted, we fall in to the two income trap.  We would rather have more income for luxuries, savings, and self worth via job satisfaction, health insurance, a safe place to live, the ability to support the family in case of a disaster/death/layoff, sanity, the ability to use our education and training than have one of us stay at home 24/7, because being home 70% of the time is plenty.

Fixed that for you.

johnny847

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4392 on: May 10, 2016, 10:39:54 AM »
Yep the money laundering regs are ridiculous!

We have (like any good mustacians) lots of money. I want to pay some off the mortgage, and they need to see where it came from. So I sent two years of bank statements (that's as long as our last mortgage, and as long as the linked account it's in has been open).

The statement clearly show x going in each month, only y going out each month, resulting in z underspend each month. z timesed by the number of months we've owned the house equals the savings.

But because we brought some savings into this account from a previous savings account (because all like good MMM followers we move the money to where the best rates are) they want statements for that account showing the underspend too... but that account was online only and I closed it 2 years ago, so that I would be eligible for 'new customer' bonuses again. Ahhhh!

I take it you don't download your statements every month?

I do so every month. I never really had a good reason for it other than being OCD...but I guess I now have a reason to do so!
(Sort of. I'm not actually saving up for a house, but better to keep the habit up than to remember oh yeah two years before I want to pay off a mortgage I need to start collecting my statements....)

BlueHouse

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4393 on: May 10, 2016, 11:06:56 AM »
Yep the money laundering regs are ridiculous!

We have (like any good mustacians) lots of money. I want to pay some off the mortgage, and they need to see where it came from. So I sent two years of bank statements (that's as long as our last mortgage, and as long as the linked account it's in has been open).

The statement clearly show x going in each month, only y going out each month, resulting in z underspend each month. z timesed by the number of months we've owned the house equals the savings.

But because we brought some savings into this account from a previous savings account (because all like good MMM followers we move the money to where the best rates are) they want statements for that account showing the underspend too... but that account was online only and I closed it 2 years ago, so that I would be eligible for 'new customer' bonuses again. Ahhhh!

I take it you don't download your statements every month?

I do so every month. I never really had a good reason for it other than being OCD...but I guess I now have a reason to do so!
(Sort of. I'm not actually saving up for a house, but better to keep the habit up than to remember oh yeah two years before I want to pay off a mortgage I need to start collecting my statements....)
I used to be OCD like that, and then one day, I just...stopped.  No idea what caused it.  I focus now on making sure I have documentation that I need.  For instance, when I pay something off, I want that receipt.  But when I incur a debt?  nope.  I don't care if it gets lost.  (except for the terms and conditions) 
Here's an interesting bit of information.  I'm sure it won't work in all cases, but for mustachians, it should because our loans typically don't stretch us so thin. When I took out my mortgage a few years ago, the banks were at the height of careful vetting.  They asked for scads and scads of proof and documentation, which I supplied.  The banks knew I was providing the same info to a different bank because I was competing them against one another.  Toward the end, when they asked for "just one more thing", I just stopped providing it.  They had everything they needed and everything they had asked for upfront.  I could tell it was someone in the back room looking over the paperwork trying to be extra-thorough.  I just stopped.  And all three banks offered me the loans.  I think there is a point where you can just stop giving them what they ask for. 
Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4394 on: May 10, 2016, 12:04:06 PM »
Yep the money laundering regs are ridiculous!

We have (like any good mustacians) lots of money. I want to pay some off the mortgage, and they need to see where it came from. So I sent two years of bank statements (that's as long as our last mortgage, and as long as the linked account it's in has been open).

The statement clearly show x going in each month, only y going out each month, resulting in z underspend each month. z timesed by the number of months we've owned the house equals the savings.

But because we brought some savings into this account from a previous savings account (because all like good MMM followers we move the money to where the best rates are) they want statements for that account showing the underspend too... but that account was online only and I closed it 2 years ago, so that I would be eligible for 'new customer' bonuses again. Ahhhh!

I take it you don't download your statements every month?

I do so every month. I never really had a good reason for it other than being OCD...but I guess I now have a reason to do so!
(Sort of. I'm not actually saving up for a house, but better to keep the habit up than to remember oh yeah two years before I want to pay off a mortgage I need to start collecting my statements....)
I used to be OCD like that, and then one day, I just...stopped.  No idea what caused it.  I focus now on making sure I have documentation that I need.  For instance, when I pay something off, I want that receipt.  But when I incur a debt?  nope.  I don't care if it gets lost.  (except for the terms and conditions) 
Here's an interesting bit of information.  I'm sure it won't work in all cases, but for mustachians, it should because our loans typically don't stretch us so thin. When I took out my mortgage a few years ago, the banks were at the height of careful vetting.  They asked for scads and scads of proof and documentation, which I supplied.  The banks knew I was providing the same info to a different bank because I was competing them against one another.  Toward the end, when they asked for "just one more thing", I just stopped providing it.  They had everything they needed and everything they had asked for upfront.  I could tell it was someone in the back room looking over the paperwork trying to be extra-thorough.  I just stopped.  And all three banks offered me the loans.  I think there is a point where you can just stop giving them what they ask for.

I still download my statements but I've gotten more lax.  I used to have accounts that would only provide 6 mo tha of statement history so I had to get them before the disappeared.  These days everyone archives my entire history.  Still, when the account closes I lose access. 

Once or twice a year I have a legitimate need to look up some transaction.  This week I couldn't remember where I went for a really cheap Smog check so I had to pull up a two year old statement

LeRainDrop

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4395 on: May 10, 2016, 12:42:30 PM »
Yep the money laundering regs are ridiculous!

We have (like any good mustacians) lots of money. I want to pay some off the mortgage, and they need to see where it came from. So I sent two years of bank statements (that's as long as our last mortgage, and as long as the linked account it's in has been open).

The statement clearly show x going in each month, only y going out each month, resulting in z underspend each month. z timesed by the number of months we've owned the house equals the savings.

But because we brought some savings into this account from a previous savings account (because all like good MMM followers we move the money to where the best rates are) they want statements for that account showing the underspend too... but that account was online only and I closed it 2 years ago, so that I would be eligible for 'new customer' bonuses again. Ahhhh!

I take it you don't download your statements every month?

I do so every month. I never really had a good reason for it other than being OCD...but I guess I now have a reason to do so!
(Sort of. I'm not actually saving up for a house, but better to keep the habit up than to remember oh yeah two years before I want to pay off a mortgage I need to start collecting my statements....)

LOL, same as Johnny!  I just checked my back-up hard drive -- I still have pdfs of E*TRADE statements from 2000 (for an account I closed in 2006), power bills back to 2004, and cable/internet statements beginning in 2007.  Why do I still have all these???  I guess 'cause they don't take up any physical space.

Kitsune

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4396 on: May 10, 2016, 12:59:33 PM »

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")


A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

Just have your wife do it. That's what women are for, after all.


That's what poor women are for.  Rich women outsource that to poor women.  As Senator Warren predicted, we fall in to the two income trap.  We would rather have more income for luxuries, savings, and self worth via job satisfaction, health insurance, a safe place to live, the ability to support the family in case of a disaster/death/layoff, sanity, the ability to use our education and training than have one of us stay at home 24/7, because being home 70% of the time is plenty.

Fixed that for you.

THISTHISTHISTHISTHIS.

Also, y'know, the knowledge that if my husband dies/leaves me/starts acting in ways that make me need to leave, my ability to support myself and my kids are not 100% linked to whether I chose to be sleeping with (or married to) a certain man. THAT HAS VALUE.

shelivesthedream

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4397 on: May 10, 2016, 01:11:02 PM »

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")


A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

Just have your wife do it. That's what women are for, after all.


That's what poor women are for.  Rich women outsource that to poor women.  As Senator Warren predicted, we fall in to the two income trap.  We would rather have more income for luxuries, savings, and self worth via job satisfaction, health insurance, a safe place to live, the ability to support the family in case of a disaster/death/layoff, sanity, the ability to use our education and training than have one of us stay at home 24/7, because being home 70% of the time is plenty.

Fixed that for you.

Mmm, I don't know. If you replace "poor women" with "poor people", I think it does get at the perniciousness of the two income trap that many people fall into. (I am thinking of the income-rich middle classes who can afford to outsource their lives.) The number of people who say that they wish they could stay home with their children but can't afford to is shocking when you consider that a lot of them are well-compensated professionals who are earning minimum wage after accounting for daycare payments.

However, Penelope Trunk, a controversial but excellent blogger, wrote a lot a few years back about how people don't want to admit that they could afford to stay home with their children but don't want to because being around young children all day sucks. I think it's great when children have stay-at-home parents, but I recognise that is as long at the parent is happy to stay at home and doesn't feel like they would chew their own arm off for some adult company. (And other parents often don't count because it's all child-centric.)

I think my ideal utopian world, though, would have part-time work as well-regarded and appropriately compensated (i.e. not only available for shitty by-the-hour jobs but also for professional work, perhaps as a job share). I think a hardworking, skilled/trained person should be able to support their family (adequate food and shelter, not private school and tropical holidays) on one salary, or on two part-time salaries, and that should be normal and widely available. I think it would be great if everyone could work part-time - I think we'd all be a lot happier. I think it's partly that as a society we teach children to take pride in their career, not to take pride in their family or in doing things for themselves or in their hobbies which don't earn them money. I just wish people could say when they work because they need some time to be an adult rather than a parent and not be accused of basically hating their children, rather than having to pretend it's for other reasons. It would be so nice too if fathers could feel equally free to cut back on their hours or even give up work in order to look after their children without being "less of a man".

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4398 on: May 10, 2016, 02:02:32 PM »

This is the same cousin who posted over the holidays:  Ugh, just got done cleaning all five bathrooms.  I should hire a maid!   (one of her snarky friends called her out on it with a comment of "You really just posted that to show off that you have FIVE bathrooms?!?")


A week ago I was cleaning my 1.5 bathroom condo and came to the realization that while I want more space and I can afford a bigger house with some stretching, I should hold off until I can afford the big house and the maid.

Just have your wife do it. That's what women are for, after all.


That's what poor women are for.  Rich women outsource that to poor women.  As Senator Warren predicted, we fall in to the two income trap.  We would rather have more income for luxuries, savings, and self worth via job satisfaction, health insurance, a safe place to live, the ability to support the family in case of a disaster/death/layoff, sanity, the ability to use our education and training than have one of us stay at home 24/7, because being home 70% of the time is plenty.

Fixed that for you.

Mmm, I don't know. If you replace "poor women" with "poor people", I think it does get at the perniciousness of the two income trap that many people fall into. (I am thinking of the income-rich middle classes who can afford to outsource their lives.) The number of people who say that they wish they could stay home with their children but can't afford to is shocking when you consider that a lot of them are well-compensated professionals who are earning minimum wage after accounting for daycare payments.

However, Penelope Trunk, a controversial but excellent blogger, wrote a lot a few years back about how people don't want to admit that they could afford to stay home with their children but don't want to because being around young children all day sucks. I think it's great when children have stay-at-home parents, but I recognise that is as long at the parent is happy to stay at home and doesn't feel like they would chew their own arm off for some adult company. (And other parents often don't count because it's all child-centric.)

I think my ideal utopian world, though, would have part-time work as well-regarded and appropriately compensated (i.e. not only available for shitty by-the-hour jobs but also for professional work, perhaps as a job share). I think a hardworking, skilled/trained person should be able to support their family (adequate food and shelter, not private school and tropical holidays) on one salary, or on two part-time salaries, and that should be normal and widely available. I think it would be great if everyone could work part-time - I think we'd all be a lot happier. I think it's partly that as a society we teach children to take pride in their career, not to take pride in their family or in doing things for themselves or in their hobbies which don't earn them money. I just wish people could say when they work because they need some time to be an adult rather than a parent and not be accused of basically hating their children, rather than having to pretend it's for other reasons. It would be so nice too if fathers could feel equally free to cut back on their hours or even give up work in order to look after their children without being "less of a man".

It would also be great if fathers received some of the pressure, negative feedback, and criticism that mothers do if for some reason work around the house or yard hasn't been done.

I'm a huge fan of splitting the nasty work evenly, and being stuck in a house with children DOES suck. Nothing about that situation is traditional or natural. Loading all the responsibility for that onto one designated caregiving adult is a form of torture.

In agrarian or hunter/gatherer societies, small children helped with some of the foraging or incidental work around the farm, and they were outside the dwelling. There was also a collective behavior wherein the kids ran around in packs and supervision duties were shared between adults who were willing and able to look out for kids who weren't theirs. Each caregiver wasn't hemmed in with 100% of the responsibility for a few designated recipients and little to no contact with the outside world. There was such thing as reciprocity and exchange. This pattern exists in modern agrarian and hunter/gatherer societies, and it's also supported by the archaeological record. If you take a look at some of the earliest ruins, you'll see how small the living spaces were. People didn't live indoors full-time except briefly during the winter.
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randymarsh

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #4399 on: May 10, 2016, 08:32:07 PM »
It would be so nice too if fathers could feel equally free to cut back on their hours or even give up work in order to look after their children without being "less of a man".

It would also be great if fathers received some of the pressure, negative feedback, and criticism that mothers do if for some reason work around the house or yard hasn't been done.

Wouldn't it be even better for neither parent to be expected to be a Superman/Superwoman?

I'm all about better work/life balance and making parenthood and professional work more compatible, but I think at a certain point we're deluding ourselves. Can people really clean the house, raise the kids, and be a great CEO/Director/President at the same time? Something has got to give.
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