Author Topic: Overheard on Facebook  (Read 1892891 times)

warfreak2

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #350 on: April 08, 2014, 01:07:40 PM »
Other very common wedding etiquette errors related to money: [...] cash bar
What's wrong with a cash bar? Genuinely curious. The last wedding I attended (a classmate's) had a cash bar, it didn't occur to me that it might be considered poor form.
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CommonCents

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #351 on: April 08, 2014, 01:26:18 PM »
I'm paraphrasing this status:

"Yay! We're going overseas to get married! None of you are invited, cos it's overseas.  Donations for the wedding are gratefully received"  (bank account details included).

I dunno- not being invited would mean that they weren't expecting you to shell out thousands to go to the wedding either in ADDITION to being expected to give them a gift or donation. DW is still mildly pissed at her brother & sister-in-law for their 'dream' destination wedding that she had to shell out a lot of money she didn't have to be a part of.

Etiquette gurus say you 1) don't ask for money (by giving registry details or worse, providing a cute poem to ask for cold cash), 2) definitely don't from someone you're not inviting to the wedding, and 3) don't need to *tell* people they aren't invited.  That is why it's poor form to invite someone to a shower but not the wedding.  (Although the true gurus note that the shower is spontaneously thrown by friends, and not the bride's family as is so often done these days, so that might happen if they don't know the guest list, and this never used to be a problem in the days when the wedding was simple at church with a cake reception following and everyone was invited.) 

Other very common wedding etiquette errors related to money: favors of a gift to charity in the guests honor.  Basically, the cardinal rule is one most mustachians would appreciate: Host the wedding you can afford and don't ask for others to pay for it.

Is it really a problem to donate to charity in the guests' names?  You are giving the wedding that you can afford.  You are also making a statement about your beliefs/commitments.  Should you really have to include some candied almonds or bubbles?

Giving to the charity isn't the problem.  You can separately make a donation that matches your beliefs/commitments.  You can also (I believe) skip favors entirely.  The problem lies in telling the guests you did so (in their honor) by "bragging" with a note by the plate.  The favor is intended to thank the guest for coming.  Bragging and telling someone that you wish to thank them by giving something they don't benefit from (you even get the tax write off not them) and moreover, didn't select, can be seen as rude.

There's also an assumption that you know what they would give to.  (I've heard horror stories of pro life/choice folks donating to a group of their persuasion and upsetting guests who are of the opposite perspective.)  If it's actually in their honor, the thought goes by some who are not as strict, the guest should at least be able to direct the donation themselves.  The best example I've heard on that is 4 wishing wells for 4 charities the couple had, and each guest was given one token to "wish" and direct the donation as they wished among the choices, whether it's for literacy or cancer.  But that doesn’t solve the fact that it’s 1) bragging, 2) limited selection, and 3) not the guest’s choice to donate anything in the first place.  Think of it this way - what if the couple left a note saying "Instead of providing you with dessert, we have made a contribution to the Red Cross?"

Much more appropriate is to ask the guests in lieu of gifts to make donations to your selected charity.  Then you truly are giving up your own benefit (rather than asking others to give up a benefit).

I will note that this rule of etiquette is commonly ignored by many couples (just like cash bars above, are commonly preferred by many to a dry bar).

CommonCents

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #352 on: April 08, 2014, 01:30:58 PM »
Other very common wedding etiquette errors related to money: [...] cash bar
What's wrong with a cash bar? Genuinely curious. The last wedding I attended (a classmate's) had a cash bar, it didn't occur to me that it might be considered poor form.

Ah, I believe the reasoning on this goes you should always host your own guests and provide them with what you can afford.  (In return, the guests should not complain if that is simple a glass of lemonade or punch rather than spirits.)  If you can afford champagne, that is no problem, but it is in poor taste to invite someone somewhere and then ask the guest to chip in.  You should not ask someone to attend a holiday party at your house and then charge them for their mug of eggnog, similarly you should not do it simply because you are out in public at a different venue.

There's some *really* strong sentiment out there regarding cash bars (although nothing like honeyfund hatred.)  For the record, while I recognize this is proper etiquette - I too, would prefer the option to purchase a drink.  (Although I've happily attended dry weddings.)  We hosted an open bar wedding ourselves.

Ashyukun

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #353 on: April 08, 2014, 02:17:23 PM »
What's wrong with a cash bar? Genuinely curious. The last wedding I attended (a classmate's) had a cash bar, it didn't occur to me that it might be considered poor form.

Ah, I believe the reasoning on this goes you should always host your own guests and provide them with what you can afford.  (In return, the guests should not complain if that is simple a glass of lemonade or punch rather than spirits.)  If you can afford champagne, that is no problem, but it is in poor taste to invite someone somewhere and then ask the guest to chip in.  You should not ask someone to attend a holiday party at your house and then charge them for their mug of eggnog, similarly you should not do it simply because you are out in public at a different venue.

There's some *really* strong sentiment out there regarding cash bars (although nothing like honeyfund hatred.)  For the record, while I recognize this is proper etiquette - I too, would prefer the option to purchase a drink.  (Although I've happily attended dry weddings.)  We hosted an open bar wedding ourselves.

Interesting. I've never seen it as being bad etiquette myself (though admittedly being an engineer etiquette isn't my forte by a long mile). Not providing ANYTHING in the way of beverages would obviously be bad, but if you can't afford paying for everyone to drink I don't see an issue with having the option for those who really want to drink to be able to do so. Asking people to pay for their drink (champagne, sparking wine, etc.) for the toast would be in rather bad taste, but if you choose and provide drinks (soda, tea, water) with the meal but some want beer assuming you're not actively trying to keep people from drinking that having a cash bar would be reasonable.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #354 on: April 08, 2014, 02:28:48 PM »
Etiquette gurus say you 1) don't ask for money (by giving registry details or worse, providing a cute poem to ask for cold cash)

Do you mean specifically on the invitation, or at all? We put our registry details on our website (along with all the other information our guests would need), and the invitation just directed people to the website. I don't think anyone was offended... I hope!

rocksinmyhead

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #355 on: April 08, 2014, 02:45:41 PM »
I think as with all etiquette (but especially wedding etiquette) issues, it varies regionally and/or depending on the circles you run in. out of the weddings I've been to (midwest, middle class) it actually seems to be pretty common to offer a bar with free beer and wine but cash liquor. I like that option, and I've never heard anyone comment that they thought it was inappropriate or crass. at my own future wedding I'll probably do either that or just open bar, beer and wine only, to be on the safe side. we like beer and wine the best anyway, and I think most of our friends/family would be happy with that :)

Etiquette gurus say you 1) don't ask for money (by giving registry details or worse, providing a cute poem to ask for cold cash)

Do you mean specifically on the invitation, or at all? We put our registry details on our website (along with all the other information our guests would need), and the invitation just directed people to the website. I don't think anyone was offended... I hope!

I've usually heard that the way you did it is totally acceptable. it makes sense to me! I have heard other people say you shouldn't say anything about the registry, even on the website, and that guests should contact the maid of honor to find out or some shit like that... I think that sounds unnecessarily coy (uh, we know we're supposed to give you a gift, why make it a hassle for the guest?), especially nowadays when people move around and have different groups of friends, plenty of guests might not even know the bridal party.

CommonCents

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #356 on: April 08, 2014, 02:45:54 PM »
Etiquette gurus say you 1) don't ask for money (by giving registry details or worse, providing a cute poem to ask for cold cash)

Do you mean specifically on the invitation, or at all? We put our registry details on our website (along with all the other information our guests would need), and the invitation just directed people to the website. I don't think anyone was offended... I hope!

Putting it on the website is better than in the invitation, but traditional etiquette experts will say you should not give the information at all.  According to them, you select a pattern when young, and use it as a planning tool.  It's never intended to be given to guests as a "Dear Santa" list.  Now, guests sometimes do politely inquire into the local Department Store as to your pattern and this is seen as acceptable snooping, but actually putting it on the invitation (or website or other way in which you put it forth) are seen as rude.  Better is to tell close family, and permit them to answer if asked.

(For the record, I too put it on the website.)

CommonCents

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #357 on: April 08, 2014, 02:52:23 PM »
I think as with all etiquette (but especially wedding etiquette) issues, it varies regionally and/or depending on the circles you run in. out of the weddings I've been to (midwest, middle class) it actually seems to be pretty common to offer a bar with free beer and wine but cash liquor. I like that option, and I've never heard anyone comment that they thought it was inappropriate or crass. at my own future wedding I'll probably do either that or just open bar, beer and wine only, to be on the safe side. we like beer and wine the best anyway, and I think most of our friends/family would be happy with that :)

First, I'll note that common does not mean something correct!  I mentioned above many will choose to ignore this rule, and further that different cultures do vary so I can't speak to all of them, but in America/English, this is the traditional proper way. 

We opted to abide by it by providing all open bar.  (Btw, a limited open bar, as you suggest, with beer and wine or whatever you choose would be absolutely acceptably as well by traditional etiquette experts.  Again, the idea is not that you must make everything available but rather that what you do make available is not charged to your guests.)  I'll also add that it would be equally rude for guests to comment negatively on your hospitality and complain about it being inappropriate or crass to you or in public.

ETA: And it's not like you can't search the sites of the traditional culprits: Bed Bath and Beyond, Crate & Barrel, Macys, William Sonoma, Pottery Barn, Bloomingdale, even JcPenny, REI...  I've never personally been invited to a wedding that wasn't registered at at least one of those places.  There are also sites online that will find the registry for you.

That all said, I fear I've hijacked this thread so perhaps we ought to move to a new thread if folks continue to be curious about the topic? 
« Last Edit: April 08, 2014, 03:02:41 PM by CommonCents »

tmac

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #358 on: April 08, 2014, 02:58:02 PM »
This registering thing is so ridiculous. "Please register to make it convenient for people to shop for you, but for god's sake, don't actually tell them where!" Our circle of friends and family is so widespread that people wouldn't have the first idea of who to ask, or how to contact them.

I think it's a civil disobedience situation. If the traditional etiquette flies in the face of logic, you have a duty to ignore it.

Albert

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #359 on: April 08, 2014, 03:27:31 PM »

Ah, I believe the reasoning on this goes you should always host your own guests and provide them with what you can afford.  (In return, the guests should not complain if that is simple a glass of lemonade or punch rather than spirits.)  If you can afford champagne, that is no problem, but it is in poor taste to invite someone somewhere and then ask the guest to chip in.  You should not ask someone to attend a holiday party at your house and then charge them for their mug of eggnog, similarly you should not do it simply because you are out in public at a different venue.

This is cultural thing, where I come from asking guests to pay for drinks at a wedding would be rude and totally inappropriate. The only thing guests usually pay for is their own accommodation (except the closest relatives).

warfreak2

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #360 on: April 08, 2014, 03:34:50 PM »
This is cultural thing, where I come from asking guests to pay for drinks at a wedding would be rude and totally inappropriate. The only thing guests usually pay for is their own accommodation (except the closest relatives).
Odd! At this wedding (with the cash bar), the happy couple did pay for our accommodation.
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AlanStache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #361 on: April 08, 2014, 03:49:01 PM »
<bachelor, mid 30's, male, engineer here>

wtf; how hard are you all trying to make this??!?!? Proper etiquette says I have to call up Amazon for my college buddy who lives 8 states away and casually ask what china patterns they might be interested in?  No.

Search major retailers sites to try to find where they might be registered?  what?  Department stores are regional too.

Tell me where you are registered if you want stuff (on a website sounds great).  Else select a few charities you would like a donation made in your name to, Habitat for Humanity, Make a Wish, Heifer and the couples University aught to be politically mild enough and if they are not well what is the problem in forcing the couple to get a 100$ on Amazon?

Any way...

Woman that cuts my hair is getting married in a bit over a month.  Embossed invitations, large gaggle of maids, 120$/plate dinner, some place that is like one stop shopping-they can arrange it all.  Parents are paying for most of it but her and her Navy enlisted soon-to-be hubby are picking up a good bit on cc. 

She did say that some of her low class cousins were concerned that they would not like the food and were relieved to learn an Arby's is across the street from the reception.
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Sylly

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #362 on: April 08, 2014, 04:47:10 PM »
Etiquette gurus say you 1) don't ask for money (by giving registry details or worse, providing a cute poem to ask for cold cash)

So apparently some stores aren't aware of this little detail.

Upon registering at a store, we were promptly schooled in, among other things:
  1) The number of items to put in the registry (roughly 3 x number of expected guests, if you're curious),
  2) how many of each type of items to request (they even gave us a convenient check list),
  3) that our family and friends will 'reach' for us (while we sat there dumbfounded, thinking.. "But we don't want them too!")

And lastly, prior to leaving the store, we were also given a stack of registry cards to be included in our invitations (which were already sent out by that point). We thought a registry would be helpful to some of our guests, but the whole experience made me regret coming to the store. At the very least we should have done the whole thing online and avoided the follow-up calls asking us when we would like to make an appointment to come back to the store and add more items to our registry to reach the magical expected number.

Sorry for continuing the hijack... while it's not overheard on Facebook, at least it fits quite well in the Antimustachian Wall of Shame

homehandymum

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #363 on: April 08, 2014, 06:09:40 PM »
I'm paraphrasing this status:

"Yay! We're going overseas to get married! None of you are invited, cos it's overseas.  Donations for the wedding are gratefully received"  (bank account details included).

My jaw would drop, but I've sadly discovered that weddings bring out the money beast in a way nothing else does and people forget common courtesy.

A follow up post did clarify that the 'begging for money' bit was because they didn't need any household-type traditional wedding gifts, as they've been living together for years, so it was really in lieu of a gift registry.

But yeah, I also happen to know that the facebook post was the first notification anyone had had about the wedding - parents had not even been given a heads-up.  And I very much doubt that formal invitations will ever happen.  (Knowing this couple, it's possibly even still in the 'fantasy planning' stage and may not even happen).

It's basically a "we're going to elope, be happy for us" situation.  Which is totally cool and I'm stoked they're going to get married and do it 'their way', without dragging either or both families half way across the world to do it.  They are both well old enough to do whatever the heck they want - we're not talking two 23 year olds, just out of college or anything.  But the bank account details embedded in the initial announcement was a bit much for me :)

Parenting 4 kids while keeping costs under control.

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johnintaiwan

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #364 on: April 16, 2014, 07:57:12 PM »

vern

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #365 on: April 17, 2014, 12:28:19 AM »
  She did say that some of her low class cousins were concerned that they would not like the food and were relieved to learn an Arby's is across the street from the reception.

Har!
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johnintaiwan

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #366 on: April 17, 2014, 07:20:35 AM »
  She did say that some of her low class cousins were concerned that they would not like the food and were relieved to learn an Arby's is across the street from the reception.

Har!

Remind me of one of my favorite Simpsons' quotes, "I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's"

Maigahane

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #367 on: April 17, 2014, 07:22:54 AM »
  She did say that some of her low class cousins were concerned that they would not like the food and were relieved to learn an Arby's is across the street from the reception.

Har!

Remind me of one of my favorite Simpsons' quotes, "I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's"
Or John Stewart's "Arby's; it's technically food" :)

CommonCents

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #368 on: April 17, 2014, 07:45:45 AM »
<bachelor, mid 30's, male, engineer here>

wtf; how hard are you all trying to make this??!?!? Proper etiquette says I have to call up Amazon for my college buddy who lives 8 states away and casually ask what china patterns they might be interested in?  No.

Search major retailers sites to try to find where they might be registered?  what?  Department stores are regional too.

It's really not that hard - there is an app or website for everything, offering one stop shopping in this case: http://registryfinder.com/  I do this anyway when I lose the little cards or the wedding website (bc so many people are doing this these days, it's now ridiculous and long names like "namelovesname")

senecando

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #369 on: April 17, 2014, 08:18:32 AM »
I like Arby's more than most fast food. They've got real meat slicers and horsey sauce!

ARBYS ROCKS

AlanStache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #370 on: April 17, 2014, 11:50:36 AM »
Quote
It's really not that hard - there is an app or website for everything, offering one stop shopping in this case: http://registryfinder.com/  I do this anyway when I lose the little cards or the wedding website (bc so many people are doing this these days, it's now ridiculous and long names like "namelovesname")

Not an app I would have searched for.

But now that I see it this could be real fun!! I could send random people all kinds of bizarre crap!  Some guy named Bill Smith is registered at Walmart, I think he and GEORGETTE ELKINS (of COLUMBUS, GA who got married on April 12, 2014), would really love an oil pan and a NickelBack poster.
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GuitarStv

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #371 on: April 17, 2014, 01:11:49 PM »
In my country, sending someone a Nickleback poster is akin to whipping out your genitals and pleasuring to climax at the funeral of their dead grandparent while pouring sugar down their gas tank.  Make it a Beiber poster and there's likely to be jail time involved.

mlipps

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #372 on: April 17, 2014, 02:49:32 PM »
In my country, sending someone a Nickleback poster is akin to whipping out your genitals and pleasuring to climax at the funeral of their dead grandparent while pouring sugar down their gas tank.  Make it a Beiber poster and there's likely to be jail time involved.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8JeeDsBUv4

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Fireman

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #373 on: April 17, 2014, 02:52:02 PM »
In my country, sending someone a Nickleback poster is akin to whipping out your genitals and pleasuring to climax at the funeral of their dead grandparent while pouring sugar down their gas tank.  Make it a Beiber poster and there's likely to be jail time involved.

What about Celine Dion or Shania Twain?

Someone else overheard on FB:
http://www.lamebook.com/thats-not-how-it-works/

I have a new time wasting site!

rocksinmyhead

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #374 on: April 17, 2014, 05:31:32 PM »
I like Arby's more than most fast food. They've got real meat slicers and horsey sauce!

ARBYS ROCKS

I agree! So much Arby's hate! I almost never eat fast food (probably like most here) but given my pick of fast food restaurants, I'd go Arby's roast beef/curly fries/Jamocha shake allllll day.

Mmmmm. Now I'm hungry :)

In my country, sending someone a Nickleback poster is akin to whipping out your genitals and pleasuring to climax at the funeral of their dead grandparent while pouring sugar down their gas tank.  Make it a Beiber poster and there's likely to be jail time involved.

LOL!!

MayDay

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #375 on: April 17, 2014, 07:09:34 PM »
I will cop to being annoyed by cash bars.  If I am invited to a party (especially a party that is likely have expenses for me such as hotel room, etc) I surely do expect to have my drinks included.  And if alcohol is important to the bride and groom, and they "can't afford it", then they need to decide if alcohol is more important, or if having any number of other things is more important, and make a trade-off. 

Anyway, I actually opened this thread to share a FB friend story.  The friend had a short sale maybe 4-5 years ago, and is now house hunting again.  Household income upwards of 200k, so even with a high SL burden they should be doing well.  They found a house and are getting an FHA loan.  I tried to gently advise her to consider that they will be paying PMI for the life of the loan which efctively increases their interest rate by 2-3%.  Friend accused me of bursting her happiness bubble, and said they caning afford to put 5% down! and anyway interest rates are increasing so they need to by now. 

The first short sale was a genuinely crap circumstances (housing market crashed, had to relocate for a job, could not rent out, etc) but at this point.....    Yah......
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Jack

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #376 on: April 18, 2014, 05:53:57 AM »
I like Arby's more than most fast food. They've got real meat slicers and horsey sauce!

ARBYS ROCKS

I agree! So much Arby's hate! I almost never eat fast food (probably like most here) but given my pick of fast food restaurants, I'd go Arby's roast beef/curly fries/Jamocha shake allllll day.

Mmmmm. Now I'm hungry :)

Arby's roast beef sucks, but just about everything else there is good (especially the sliced roast chicken and the jamocha shakes). I still miss the roast chicken triple cheese and bacon sandwich, and it's been a decade since they last made it...

ScienceSexSavings

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #377 on: April 18, 2014, 04:31:29 PM »
In my country, sending someone a Nickleback poster is akin to whipping out your genitals and pleasuring to climax at the funeral of their dead grandparent while pouring sugar down their gas tank.  Make it a Beiber poster and there's likely to be jail time involved.

What about Celine Dion or Shania Twain?

Depends what part of the country you're in - send that Céline poster to a Québécois of a certain age and you might start getting invited to family reunions :P
« Last Edit: April 19, 2014, 08:22:14 PM by ScienceSexSavings »
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pipercat

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #378 on: April 19, 2014, 05:05:06 PM »
+1 Arby's fan!

Maybe I'll go post it on FB, so it will at least kinda sorta follow the theme of this thread!
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dan@themadrealworld

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #379 on: April 21, 2014, 08:31:30 PM »
I see a lot of people complaining about the cost of their cable bills.  People talk about it like it is a necessity that they can't live without.  It is such a ripoff and the big cable companies are so dishonest and monopolistic. I would never give them a dollar.

It can be difficult to get around them when it comes to home internet service. I pay my neighbor to share his connection.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2014, 10:09:03 AM by dan@themadrealworld »

CommonCents

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #380 on: April 22, 2014, 08:21:45 AM »
I see a lot of people complaining about the cost of their cable bills.  People talk about it like it is a necessity that they can't live without.  It is such a ripoff and comcast and the other big cable companies are so dishonest and monopolistic. I would never give them a dollar.

It can be difficult to get around them when it comes to home internet service. I pay my neighbor to share his connection.

Agree cable is not a necessity.  We canceled a few months ago and have been amazed to discover how many folks we know have also canceled.  That said, just want to note the internet share is most likely against the TOS.  :(

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #381 on: April 22, 2014, 08:44:25 AM »
"Paychecks may and go, but Chanel is forever." Tagging husband at the end of her status.   

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #382 on: April 22, 2014, 09:33:14 AM »
I see a lot of people complaining about the cost of their cable bills.  People talk about it like it is a necessity that they can't live without.  It is such a ripoff and comcast and the other big cable companies are so dishonest and monopolistic. I would never give them a dollar.

It can be difficult to get around them when it comes to home internet service. I pay my neighbor to share his connection.

Agree cable is not a necessity.  We canceled a few months ago and have been amazed to discover how many folks we know have also canceled.  That said, just want to note the internet share is most likely against the TOS.  :(

Not "most likely" -- "most definitely."  Probably not a great idea to call them names in a public forum and then mention you're doing something they'd likely categorize as theft of service.
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S0VERE1GN

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #383 on: April 22, 2014, 01:51:14 PM »
There are many on my facebook from day to day (the iconic "phone is off, cant afford bill, get at me on here" is common) but this was by far my favorite:

"today is the first day since i was 18 and i got my first car that my car loan is less than the value of my car when i bought it #financiallyresponsible"

the guy has rolled his car loans about 6 times since he was 18. I think he's 30 now? Its not funny because its true.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #384 on: April 22, 2014, 09:35:46 PM »
So he isn't even above water on the loan, the loan is just less than the purchase price?? Yikes.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #385 on: April 23, 2014, 12:23:03 PM »
So he isn't even above water on the loan, the loan is just less than the purchase price?? Yikes.

yes. its apparently really common around here. many of my friends have told me they've rolled their auto loans because "the car was just such a good deal"

I can count on one finger the number of times people have gotten good deals on cars. and that was when my wife's parents gave us one for free...and it still sucks on gas so its debatable.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #386 on: April 23, 2014, 02:43:30 PM »
I had someone on FB bitching about needing to have a girls night out. No one would go with her because she stated that they would need to pay for the drinks...she would pay them back on payday. Then the very next day her smartphone broke and she was begging people to give her a free one.

I also love when I have friends who are posting about this concert they just got tickets to, or the fancy dinner they had that night...then are asking for money to buy diapers.

My DH cousin started a GoFundMe to pay her bills...and got upset no one was donating. That automatically meant nobody loved her and they must not care about her.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #387 on: April 23, 2014, 03:41:15 PM »
I had someone on FB bitching about needing to have a girls night out. No one would go with her because she stated that they would need to pay for the drinks...she would pay them back on payday. Then the very next day her smartphone broke and she was begging people to give her a free one.

I also love when I have friends who are posting about this concert they just got tickets to, or the fancy dinner they had that night...then are asking for money to buy diapers.

My DH cousin started a GoFundMe to pay her bills...and got upset no one was donating. That automatically meant nobody loved her and they must not care about her.

I have a facebook 'friend' (i use the term loosely as I'm about to defriend him because of these shenanegans), who does the same thing. He'll make a post about the hot new video game he is playing, and then 5 min later beg people to send him money for cigarettes and groceries. It wouldn't bother me so much except that it happens on such a regular basis, and the fact that he owes me money, and keeps claiming poverty, but then posts about his new apple ipad or some other stupid thing.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #388 on: April 24, 2014, 01:24:49 AM »
Those last two stories are mental. I'd happily be cutting people like that out of my life.
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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #389 on: April 24, 2014, 03:10:01 AM »
I had someone on FB bitching about needing to have a girls night out. No one would go with her because she stated that they would need to pay for the drinks...she would pay them back on payday. Then the very next day her smartphone broke and she was begging people to give her a free one.

I also love when I have friends who are posting about this concert they just got tickets to, or the fancy dinner they had that night...then are asking for money to buy diapers.

My DH cousin started a GoFundMe to pay her bills...and got upset no one was donating. That automatically meant nobody loved her and they must not care about her.

I have a facebook 'friend' (i use the term loosely as I'm about to defriend him because of these shenanegans), who does the same thing. He'll make a post about the hot new video game he is playing, and then 5 min later beg people to send him money for cigarettes and groceries. It wouldn't bother me so much except that it happens on such a regular basis, and the fact that he owes me money, and keeps claiming poverty, but then posts about his new apple ipad or some other stupid thing.

These people dont need to be removed from FB just put in a unique group, my feed has pissed me off 83% less since I sorted 4 people into a group I never check.  Defriending family I think is questionable but one can always sort them somewhere special
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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #390 on: April 24, 2014, 03:48:54 AM »
OMG! I can't believe people are actually begging for money on Facebook! I've never seen that. Maybe it's an American thing?
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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #391 on: April 24, 2014, 05:07:31 AM »
I've never seen it.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #392 on: April 24, 2014, 07:33:00 AM »
I've seen it myself but only in the context of asking for donations to actual causes.  Some worthwhile ones that i've seen are Muscular Dystrophy, St Baldricks, and Multiple Sclerosis.  One of my friend's 13 year old daughter raised over $3000 for juvenile cancer research by pledging to shave her head after her friend had been diagnosed with leukemia. 

When I had FB, I never noticed anyone soliciting money for personal causes else I would've called them out on the ridiculousness of it.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #393 on: April 24, 2014, 08:21:19 AM »
I've never seen it either. good thing, because I would probably puke all over my keyboard. and then leave a comment voicing my disgust, and then unfriend them. I can't even believe people have the gall to do that!!!

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #394 on: April 24, 2014, 09:16:03 AM »
I've never seen it either, except charity fund raisers. The worst offense on my feed is "vaguebooking".

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #395 on: April 24, 2014, 10:35:03 AM »
I've seen one friend of a friend raising $$ to go to a weightlifting competition, which at least seems like a good personal development goal, not really frivolity. I've gone to conferences on funds raised from corporate donations and bake sales, so this doesn't look too different. I don't know her job/financial situation, whether it would be reasonable to expect her to have it saved up or not. 

Also someone was passing around a gofundme for a girl who wanted her student loans paid off so she could join a convent. Kind of torn on how to feel about that one, but still landed on the side of "work in the real world until you pay them off, first."

Supported neither. But also didn't quite find them ridiculous...

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #396 on: April 24, 2014, 10:55:08 AM »
Also someone was passing around a gofundme for a girl who wanted her student loans paid off so she could join a convent. Kind of torn on how to feel about that one, but still landed on the side of "work in the real world until you pay them off, first."

Two of my friends from childhood went into the convent, and they weren't allowed to until they'd worked and paid off their loans, which they did, and then joined the convent, and the delay hurt them not at all. As a former Catholic, I am 100% certain that a nun should be a person who values hard work, integrity, and delayed gratification, and if they're not there yet, well, paying off your loans before you're allowed in sounds like a great opportunity to learn. Asking other people to pay off your loans for you is the opposite of what being a nun is supposed to be.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #397 on: April 24, 2014, 11:33:07 AM »
I had someone on FB bitching about needing to have a girls night out. No one would go with her because she stated that they would need to pay for the drinks...she would pay them back on payday. Then the very next day her smartphone broke and she was begging people to give her a free one.

I also love when I have friends who are posting about this concert they just got tickets to, or the fancy dinner they had that night...then are asking for money to buy diapers.

My DH cousin started a GoFundMe to pay her bills...and got upset no one was donating. That automatically meant nobody loved her and they must not care about her.

I have a facebook 'friend' (i use the term loosely as I'm about to defriend him because of these shenanegans), who does the same thing. He'll make a post about the hot new video game he is playing, and then 5 min later beg people to send him money for cigarettes and groceries. It wouldn't bother me so much except that it happens on such a regular basis, and the fact that he owes me money, and keeps claiming poverty, but then posts about his new apple ipad or some other stupid thing.

These people dont need to be removed from FB just put in a unique group, my feed has pissed me off 83% less since I sorted 4 people into a group I never check.  Defriending family I think is questionable but one can always sort them somewhere special.

Yeah, you can just tell facebook "show me less/none of this person in my feed"

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #398 on: April 25, 2014, 11:41:59 AM »
Yeah, you can just tell facebook "show me less/none of this person in my feed"

I have pretty much all the non stop political posters set up like that. For some reason they all seem be be tea party peeps for whatever that's worth.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #399 on: April 25, 2014, 11:50:03 AM »
Yeah, you can just tell facebook "show me less/none of this person in my feed"

I have pretty much all the non stop political posters set up like that. For some reason they all seem be be tea party peeps for whatever that's worth.

My entire family has had to block my father to preserve harmony. And since he doesn't have any other friends than us, I guess no one is seeing his NRA memes.
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