Author Topic: Overheard on Facebook  (Read 1897002 times)

ILoveMyBlondeStache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1000 on: October 30, 2014, 08:57:33 AM »
YESS!! I finally saw a good one in my news feed!  Here goes:

"My perfectly good day just turned to shit when I realized the holiday make-up set I NEED TO HAVE that was released at midnight today is already sold out! Not just sold out but sold out at Sephora, Ulta & their website as well as in the UK! FML! What the actual F*ck!?! I am dumb for waiting until 8 hours after it was released, so this is even worse because it's totally my own fault, but I just didn't think at $280 it would sell out immediately, EVERYWHERE! so I decided to wait until morning. Now I will spend my day drowning in my own tears! This is the worst day of my life!"

Seriously....gross.

horsepoor

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1001 on: October 30, 2014, 09:10:20 AM »
Holy shit.  I hope the comments are along the line of telling her to get a fucking grip.

Sylly

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1002 on: October 30, 2014, 09:29:10 AM »
I had to look this up to figure out what it was. Full disclosure, I am a woman and I do wear makeup, from kind of pricey brands too (but I only buy one of each type of item so overall I don't spend much). Even so, it blows my mind that she is freaking out over this:

http://www.urbandecay.com/naked-vault-by-urban-decay/604214923119.html

Yeah, I had to look that up too. I've never even heard of that brand! Shows how much I care about make-up, huh? :P

But seriously, how much make-up is that, even for someone who wears it everyday. A year? Two? IMO, the set is just a brilliant gimmick from the brand marketing -- makes people buy more than they otherwise would, on the guise of 'discount'. Cause seriously, how many people would actually buy the all the palettes otherwise? Or do I have too much faith in people and many people actually do buy all the palettes?


rocksinmyhead

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1003 on: October 30, 2014, 09:34:07 AM »
YESS!! I finally saw a good one in my news feed!  Here goes:

"My perfectly good day just turned to shit when I realized the holiday make-up set I NEED TO HAVE that was released at midnight today is already sold out! Not just sold out but sold out at Sephora, Ulta & their website as well as in the UK! FML! What the actual F*ck!?! I am dumb for waiting until 8 hours after it was released, so this is even worse because it's totally my own fault, but I just didn't think at $280 it would sell out immediately, EVERYWHERE! so I decided to wait until morning. Now I will spend my day drowning in my own tears! This is the worst day of my life!"

Seriously....gross.

ho. ly. shit.

I also hope people told her to get a grip!!!

(also, Malaprop cocktail, love the name!)

But seriously, how much make-up is that, even for someone who wears it everyday. A year? Two? IMO, the set is just a brilliant gimmick from the brand marketing -- makes people buy more than they otherwise would, on the guise of 'discount'. Cause seriously, how many people would actually buy the all the palettes otherwise? Or do I have too much faith in people and many people actually do buy all the palettes?

yeah, I don't really understand either. and doesn't makeup typically have an expiration date? maybe the eyeshadow would be find indefinitely, assuming it's powder... but surely the lipgloss... I just don't get it.

Someone I know (single, good professional job) posted a GoFundMe request for her dog's spinal surgery . . .

This is a new sub that makes me chuckle:

http://www.reddit.com/r/dontfundme

I wish I could say it made me chuckle, but it actually made me throw up in my mouth like eight times and fear for humanity. dear God.

MandalayVA

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1004 on: October 30, 2014, 09:44:37 AM »
YESS!! I finally saw a good one in my news feed!  Here goes:

"My perfectly good day just turned to shit when I realized the holiday make-up set I NEED TO HAVE that was released at midnight today is already sold out! Not just sold out but sold out at Sephora, Ulta & their website as well as in the UK! FML! What the actual F*ck!?! I am dumb for waiting until 8 hours after it was released, so this is even worse because it's totally my own fault, but I just didn't think at $280 it would sell out immediately, EVERYWHERE! so I decided to wait until morning. Now I will spend my day drowning in my own tears! This is the worst day of my life!"

Seriously....gross.

She must be a member of Generation Drama Queen, where everything is "the best," "the worst," "amazing" (and its bastard cousin "amazeballs"), "awful," "fantastic" or "horrible."  They don't just cry, they sob.  They don't just laugh, they scream.  I have young friends in the Bay Area who proclaimed a night earlier this week to be "the worst one EVAR!!!!!!" on my Facebook feed.  Why?  Because the San Francisco Giants lost a World Series game by a sizable margin.  If that's the worst thing that's ever happened to you, you live a VERY sweet life.  Superlatives, dial them down, please.
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ILoveMyBlondeStache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1005 on: October 30, 2014, 09:47:16 AM »
YESS!! I finally saw a good one in my news feed!  Here goes:

"My perfectly good day just turned to shit when I realized the holiday make-up set I NEED TO HAVE that was released at midnight today is already sold out! Not just sold out but sold out at Sephora, Ulta & their website as well as in the UK! FML! What the actual F*ck!?! I am dumb for waiting until 8 hours after it was released, so this is even worse because it's totally my own fault, but I just didn't think at $280 it would sell out immediately, EVERYWHERE! so I decided to wait until morning. Now I will spend my day drowning in my own tears! This is the worst day of my life!"

Seriously....gross.

She must be a member of Generation Drama Queen, where everything is "the best," "the worst," "amazing" (and its bastard cousin "amazeballs"), "awful," "fantastic" or "horrible."  They don't just cry, they sob.  They don't just laugh, they scream.  I have young friends in the Bay Area who proclaimed a night earlier this week to be "the worst one EVAR!!!!!!" on my Facebook feed.  Why?  Because the San Francisco Giants lost a World Series game by a sizable margin.  If that's the worst thing that's ever happened to you, you live a VERY sweet life.  Superlatives, dial them down, please.


She's 30...she graduated high school the same year as I did.  I'm not nearly that dramatic...about anything.  I just don't get it.

ILoveMyBlondeStache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1006 on: October 30, 2014, 09:55:51 AM »
YESS!! I finally saw a good one in my news feed!  Here goes:

"My perfectly good day just turned to shit when I realized the holiday make-up set I NEED TO HAVE that was released at midnight today is already sold out! Not just sold out but sold out at Sephora, Ulta & their website as well as in the UK! FML! What the actual F*ck!?! I am dumb for waiting until 8 hours after it was released, so this is even worse because it's totally my own fault, but I just didn't think at $280 it would sell out immediately, EVERYWHERE! so I decided to wait until morning. Now I will spend my day drowning in my own tears! This is the worst day of my life!"

Seriously....gross.



It gets even better!!! Here is a selection of comments on her post:

Poster- Wow vault is gone ?!
Friend 1- I was gunna get it w my 20 percent off pass in two weeks lol
Friend 1- It'll come to stores tho it has to
Poster- YES! I knew you'd be the only one who understands my pain...or who would even know what I was talking about! I'm literally crying over here!!! #FirstWorldProblems
Friend 1- Lol damn yah I just got my savings pass yesterday and it isn't good til November 6 I believe was gunna wait til then plus I have $65 in gift cards too I was like yah I'm good lol
Poster- 20% off pass-smart girl you are!
Poster- Omg if it does I will just die of happiness!!!!!
Friend 1- I do want vice 3 and gift sexy tho (new glam glow trio)
Poster- I don't care if I have to order from the UK and pay more-I NEED IT!!!
Poster- You told me a couple months ago you wanted Vice 3 so you should totally get it!
Poster- I don't need any Vice but I need the friggin Vault!
Friend 2- Lol! You are SO DRAMATIC! There's a new MAC at Mayfair. Hehehe
Friend 1- I'll b getting both w my savings pass and gift cards and only have to pay 39 out of pocket plus tax for 129 bucks worth of items
Poster- [Friend 2] you just don't understand-this IS dramatic! And so happy about new MAC
Friend 1- I'm not a Mac girl
Friend 1- Don't get the appeal of it.... I like urban decay, too faced, and kat von d
Friend 1- Those r my brands
Poster- I am mostly a MAC girl...I will probably buy all their holiday sets but I need TNV! Let me know if you hear anything Natasha! And cross your fingers for both of us!!!
Friend 3- Or you just saved 280?? Lol you girls n ur crazy make up prices
Poster- No because we wait all year for this stuff to come out and holiday sets are limited always and usually amazing deals! I want all these things and buying it this way saves me $80!
Friend 3- [Poster] we need to go outlet mall shopping again
Poster- I know!


At least Friend 3 has a head on her shoulders...well sort of, until the outlet mall comment.
« Last Edit: October 30, 2014, 09:57:25 AM by Valerie_Jo »

Sylly

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1007 on: October 30, 2014, 10:09:54 AM »
I can actually answer this one, because a decade or so ago, and I can't believe I'm admitting this, but as a diversion I used to read a forum dedicated to makeup. The answer is not one year, not two years, but essentially forever.

Thanks for the insight. I guess people will collect anything...
But.. doesn't make up go bad over time? They probably last longer than whatever exp date is listed, but still, if we're talking years and years.. at some point it's no good anymore, no?

NumberCruncher

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1008 on: October 30, 2014, 10:17:01 AM »
Please don't put this on my generation! O.o

I hate it when people say "need" in these types of cases
(And, yeah, I say "hate" in the same type of exaggerating way, but at least my phrasing doesn't contribute to hyper-consumerism...)

Edit: typo
« Last Edit: October 30, 2014, 11:15:51 AM by NumberCruncher »

solon

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1009 on: October 30, 2014, 10:21:10 AM »

I can actually answer this one, because a decade or so ago, and I can't believe I'm admitting this, but as a diversion I used to read a forum dedicated to makeup. The answer is not one year, not two years, but essentially forever.

Can you give us a link to that forum? Might be fun to point and laugh.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1010 on: October 30, 2014, 10:56:37 AM »
YESS!! I finally saw a good one in my news feed!  Here goes:

"My perfectly good day just turned to shit when I realized the holiday make-up set I NEED TO HAVE that was released at midnight today is already sold out! Not just sold out but sold out at Sephora, Ulta & their website as well as in the UK! FML! What the actual F*ck!?! I am dumb for waiting until 8 hours after it was released, so this is even worse because it's totally my own fault, but I just didn't think at $280 it would sell out immediately, EVERYWHERE! so I decided to wait until morning. Now I will spend my day drowning in my own tears! This is the worst day of my life!"

Seriously....gross.

She must be a member of Generation Drama Queen, where everything is "the best," "the worst," "amazing" (and its bastard cousin "amazeballs"), "awful," "fantastic" or "horrible."  They don't just cry, they sob.  They don't just laugh, they scream.  I have young friends in the Bay Area who proclaimed a night earlier this week to be "the worst one EVAR!!!!!!" on my Facebook feed.  Why?  Because the San Francisco Giants lost a World Series game by a sizable margin.  If that's the worst thing that's ever happened to you, you live a VERY sweet life.  Superlatives, dial them down, please.

OMG I can't even

gimp

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1011 on: October 30, 2014, 12:33:10 PM »

galliver

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1012 on: October 30, 2014, 12:37:55 PM »
YESS!! I finally saw a good one in my news feed!  Here goes:

"My perfectly good day just turned to shit when I realized the holiday make-up set I NEED TO HAVE that was released at midnight today is already sold out! Not just sold out but sold out at Sephora, Ulta & their website as well as in the UK! FML! What the actual F*ck!?! I am dumb for waiting until 8 hours after it was released, so this is even worse because it's totally my own fault, but I just didn't think at $280 it would sell out immediately, EVERYWHERE! so I decided to wait until morning. Now I will spend my day drowning in my own tears! This is the worst day of my life!"

Seriously....gross.

She must be a member of Generation Drama Queen, where everything is "the best," "the worst," "amazing" (and its bastard cousin "amazeballs"), "awful," "fantastic" or "horrible."  They don't just cry, they sob.  They don't just laugh, they scream.  I have young friends in the Bay Area who proclaimed a night earlier this week to be "the worst one EVAR!!!!!!" on my Facebook feed.  Why?  Because the San Francisco Giants lost a World Series game by a sizable margin.  If that's the worst thing that's ever happened to you, you live a VERY sweet life.  Superlatives, dial them down, please.

OMG I can't even



Seen on Facebook, of course.

Lis

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1013 on: October 30, 2014, 12:41:29 PM »
I can actually answer this one, because a decade or so ago, and I can't believe I'm admitting this, but as a diversion I used to read a forum dedicated to makeup. The answer is not one year, not two years, but essentially forever.

Thanks for the insight. I guess people will collect anything...
But.. doesn't make up go bad over time? They probably last longer than whatever exp date is listed, but still, if we're talking years and years.. at some point it's no good anymore, no?

It really depends on how you use the make up. The make up itself can last forever, but people recommend changing it due to the germs and crap that can grow in it. If you regularly clean your brushes, avoid using your fingers to apply, and keep it out of warm and moist areas (NOT a good idea to leave make up in your bathroom, but a lot of people do it anyway), you can have it forever. I have eye shadow and blush that I've had for at least 4 or 5 years. This doesn't apply to anything you apply directly to your skin, like lipstick and lip gloss, unless you use a brush for that too. I believe lipstick should only be kept for 6-12 months, but I also have had the same lipstick for years too.

Malaysia41

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1014 on: October 30, 2014, 06:54:10 PM »
Why do sorority girls travel in groups of three? 

Because they literally can't even.

(credit goes to my daughter for telling me this one).





Seen on Facebook, of course.
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DeepEllumStache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1015 on: October 31, 2014, 08:39:38 AM »
I'm amazed at all the store bought Halloween costumes on my FB feed.  While I consider the cute pictures of people's kids in costume a part of my toll for not complaining about their snap happy ways the rest of the year, it shocks me that so many people pay 20-30 bucks a pop for something that'll be worn less than 1 day.

The best one so far is homemade - the parent dressed in a white coverall suit from the hardware store with red tape, then  dressed their kid in black.  Bowling with a toddler!
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dycker1978

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1016 on: October 31, 2014, 09:26:31 AM »
I'm amazed at all the store bought Halloween costumes on my FB feed.  While I consider the cute pictures of people's kids in costume a part of my toll for not complaining about their snap happy ways the rest of the year, it shocks me that so many people pay 20-30 bucks a pop for something that'll be worn less than 1 day.

The best one so far is homemade - the parent dressed in a white coverall suit from the hardware store with red tape, then  dressed their kid in black.  Bowling with a toddler!

Saw on the news this morning that people are paying as much as $500 for a costume...

Got time for $3 from the thrift store... and some time to make it.

SisterX

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1017 on: October 31, 2014, 11:08:22 AM »
I'm amazed at all the store bought Halloween costumes on my FB feed.  While I consider the cute pictures of people's kids in costume a part of my toll for not complaining about their snap happy ways the rest of the year, it shocks me that so many people pay 20-30 bucks a pop for something that'll be worn less than 1 day.

I don't know a single kid who only wears their costume for 1 day.  You probably don't see them because the rest of the time the costume gets worn around the house, for dress-up and playtime and, heck, even just watching T.V. because kids like to dress up as something different than a kid.
That being said, I totally agree that the best costumes are homemade, and usually dirt cheap.

mm1970

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1018 on: October 31, 2014, 11:18:32 AM »
I'm amazed at all the store bought Halloween costumes on my FB feed.  While I consider the cute pictures of people's kids in costume a part of my toll for not complaining about their snap happy ways the rest of the year, it shocks me that so many people pay 20-30 bucks a pop for something that'll be worn less than 1 day.

The best one so far is homemade - the parent dressed in a white coverall suit from the hardware store with red tape, then  dressed their kid in black.  Bowling with a toddler!
Meh, we used to make our son's costumes...pirate, Navy sailor (complete with wagon turned into a submarine), butterfly (from the Eric Carle book).

But then it just got to be too much work.

We spend normally $20-$30 on a costume.

But they get worn.  At the school festival.  Then at the company potluck.  Then at school on Halloween.  Then Halloween night for trick or treating.

And then at least twice a week for the next year or two (as long as they fit) for dress up.

Seriously, we had an Obi-Wan costume, a race car driver costume, and Darth Vader costume (ages 4, 5, 6).  At least twice a week for the next 6 months, my son and his two girl friends from across the street would run in after school (I pick up all the kids after school), and throw on one of the outfits and play.  They all got sad when they started growing out of the race car costume.

You could resell for 1/3 the price too.

galliver

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1019 on: October 31, 2014, 11:20:58 AM »
I'm amazed at all the store bought Halloween costumes on my FB feed.  While I consider the cute pictures of people's kids in costume a part of my toll for not complaining about their snap happy ways the rest of the year, it shocks me that so many people pay 20-30 bucks a pop for something that'll be worn less than 1 day.

The best one so far is homemade - the parent dressed in a white coverall suit from the hardware store with red tape, then  dressed their kid in black.  Bowling with a toddler!

Homemade is best for older kids. And they should participate. I like that my friends are putting their babies into costume-onesies, though, instead of coming up with some contraption (one is a tigger, one is a dalmatian puppy). I like that the kids are clearly comfortable. Obviously no need to dress up an infant for Halloween, but if you're going to, sacrificing $$ and not the kid's comfort is preferable. In my opinion.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1020 on: November 01, 2014, 11:31:27 AM »
This belongs both on the "overheard at work" and Anti-antimustacian" threads, but it fits here.  At work:  I saw a little kid yesterday who's mom couldn't afford to buy him a new costume, so he wore last years police officer costume.  His little legs had grown-about 6 inches sticking out and the costume was really tight--, Mom said "Barney Fife"  He looked absolutely adorable.

CabinetGuy

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1021 on: November 02, 2014, 07:38:27 AM »
"Guess who just got a Q3?!"  Husband posting a pic of his wife in new car.

Guess who just turned in their leased CRV to do so.  But it's a "company lease program" so it's "really affordable."  And your company is keeping you perpetually in need of a paycheck...can't you see that?

Granted, they both make a ton of money combined, and they're young (early thirties.)  but they both work in a high stress industry.  Yes, I'm jealous.  But God damn it, why are you telling me that you want to retire ASAP in Costs Rica, but keep doing shit like this?

Oh well.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1022 on: November 03, 2014, 12:47:56 PM »
Not Facebook, but a couple of posts on my mommy message boards are making me feel a bit pained.

1) One thread is asking about the best "budget" coat that someone could buy for winter with the tagline "Under $500".  I mentioned that my coat was $60 at Kohls.  The response was that they live in New England so they need something really warm.  Ummmm I live in New England too.  My $60 coat is too warm most of the time. 

2) Another mom is freaking out because her van broke and she needs $2400 to fix it ASAP.  She has 7 kids and needs it to drive them to school.  She is debating posting a gofundme to raise money for it.  This is the same mom that freaked out a few months ago when they did an escrow adjustment on her mortgage and found that she needed to cough up $3000 that she didn't have.   I don't understand having any sort of emergency fund or at least a open line of credit so that this type of emergency didn't cause huge panic. 

resy

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1023 on: November 03, 2014, 09:55:11 PM »
Not Facebook, but a couple of posts on my mommy message boards are making me feel a bit pained.

1) One thread is asking about the best "budget" coat that someone could buy for winter with the tagline "Under $500".  I mentioned that my coat was $60 at Kohls.  The response was that they live in New England so they need something really warm.  Ummmm I live in New England too.  My $60 coat is too warm most of the time. 

2) Another mom is freaking out because her van broke and she needs $2400 to fix it ASAP.  She has 7 kids and needs it to drive them to school.  She is debating posting a gofundme to raise money for it.  This is the same mom that freaked out a few months ago when they did an escrow adjustment on her mortgage and found that she needed to cough up $3000 that she didn't have.   I don't understand having any sort of emergency fund or at least a open line of credit so that this type of emergency didn't cause huge panic.
hmm... for some reason, a person that has 7 kids doesn't strike me as much of a planner...

AlanStache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1024 on: November 04, 2014, 05:22:45 AM »
Not Facebook, but a couple of posts on my mommy message boards are making me feel a bit pained.

1) One thread is asking about the best "budget" coat that someone could buy for winter with the tagline "Under $500".  I mentioned that my coat was $60 at Kohls.  The response was that they live in New England so they need something really warm.  Ummmm I live in New England too.  My $60 coat is too warm most of the time. 

2) Another mom is freaking out because her van broke and she needs $2400 to fix it ASAP.  She has 7 kids and needs it to drive them to school.  She is debating posting a gofundme to raise money for it.  This is the same mom that freaked out a few months ago when they did an escrow adjustment on her mortgage and found that she needed to cough up $3000 that she didn't have.   I don't understand having any sort of emergency fund or at least a open line of credit so that this type of emergency didn't cause huge panic.
hmm... for some reason, a person that has 7 kids doesn't strike me as much of a planner...

7 kids: Just as likely they very much planed it.  Sat next to a woman on a plane one time with a few month old kid, she had been pregnant or just delivered for like the last 10+ years.  Got the impression it was a religious thing.
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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1025 on: November 04, 2014, 05:32:11 AM »
Not Facebook, but a couple of posts on my mommy message boards are making me feel a bit pained.

1) One thread is asking about the best "budget" coat that someone could buy for winter with the tagline "Under $500".  I mentioned that my coat was $60 at Kohls.  The response was that they live in New England so they need something really warm.  Ummmm I live in New England too.  My $60 coat is too warm most of the time. 

2) Another mom is freaking out because her van broke and she needs $2400 to fix it ASAP.  She has 7 kids and needs it to drive them to school.  She is debating posting a gofundme to raise money for it.  This is the same mom that freaked out a few months ago when they did an escrow adjustment on her mortgage and found that she needed to cough up $3000 that she didn't have.   I don't understand having any sort of emergency fund or at least a open line of credit so that this type of emergency didn't cause huge panic.
hmm... for some reason, a person that has 7 kids doesn't strike me as much of a planner...

7 kids: Just as likely they very much planed it.  Sat next to a woman on a plane one time with a few month old kid, she had been pregnant or just delivered for like the last 10+ years.  Got the impression it was a religious thing.

7 kids is crazy - I think about 4 to 5 kids is the cutoff where you go from "family" to "traveling carnival". 

PloddingInsight

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1026 on: November 04, 2014, 05:54:45 AM »
7 kids with 5 fathers:  poor impulse control.

7 kids from 1 father:  alternative lifestyle.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1027 on: November 04, 2014, 06:40:55 AM »
7 kids with 5 fathers:  poor impulse control.

7 kids from 1 father:  alternative lifestyle.

haha, agreed. I try not to rip on people with lots of kids or make stupid jokes about how they "must not know where babies come from." I know plenty of large Catholic families and trust me, they know. definitely not a choice I would make (I think I would lose my fucking mind somewhere around 5 kids) but hey, they're not my kids.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1028 on: November 04, 2014, 11:17:46 AM »
7 kids with 5 fathers:  poor impulse control.

7 kids from 1 father:  alternative lifestyle.

haha, agreed. I try not to rip on people with lots of kids or make stupid jokes about how they "must not know where babies come from." I know plenty of large Catholic families and trust me, they know. definitely not a choice I would make (I think I would lose my fucking mind somewhere around 5 kids) but hey, they're not my kids.

I still reserve the right to find your life rather sad if you feel that your only purpose in being on this planet is to breed as much as possible.  Having 7 kids because you love kids: wonderful.  Having 7 kids because your religion tells you you "have to": I'll feel bad for your kids.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1029 on: November 04, 2014, 11:42:36 AM »
Ah, shit, a perpetually-broke family friend just announced via Facebook that she has become a Jamberry "sales consultant".

At least when her sister was selling that Pampered Chef crap we got some decent stoneware out of it.

I'm tired of seeing my friends turn to the ways of the consultant. (A lot of Scentsy and Thirty-One.) And, even worse, only hearing from them when they're having a sales party or offering new discounts. :/

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1030 on: November 04, 2014, 11:55:55 AM »
7 kids with 5 fathers:  poor impulse control.

7 kids from 1 father:  alternative lifestyle.

haha, agreed. I try not to rip on people with lots of kids or make stupid jokes about how they "must not know where babies come from." I know plenty of large Catholic families and trust me, they know. definitely not a choice I would make (I think I would lose my fucking mind somewhere around 5 kids) but hey, they're not my kids.

I still reserve the right to find your life rather sad if you feel that your only purpose in being on this planet is to breed as much as possible.  Having 7 kids because you love kids: wonderful.  Having 7 kids because your religion tells you you "have to": I'll feel bad for your kids.

Those two concepts are probably far more entangled than your statement implies. I think it's one of the reasons promoting gender equality is harder in traditional societies. Very few girls grow up in a culture that teaches them the domestic arts and decide that they want to be fighter pilots. They are brought up to WANT to have 20 children, and that is the most insidious thing.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1031 on: November 04, 2014, 12:22:36 PM »
Having 7 kids because you love kids: wonderful.  Having 7 kids because your religion tells you you "have to": I'll feel bad for your kids.

Those two concepts are probably far more entangled than your statement implies. I think it's one of the reasons promoting gender equality is harder in traditional societies. Very few girls grow up in a culture that teaches them the domestic arts and decide that they want to be fighter pilots. They are brought up to WANT to have 20 children, and that is the most insidious thing.

I don't argue that society as a whole may be better when children aren't pigeon-holed into any traditional roles. But, is it such a terrible thing if the individuals themselves are happy? Who are we to judge?

It's like being perfectly happy with dial-up modem,  just because you don't know any better, even when your neighbors have DSL.

PloddingInsight

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1032 on: November 04, 2014, 01:31:42 PM »
I still reserve the right to find your life rather sad if you feel that your only purpose in being on this planet is to breed as much as possible.  Having 7 kids because you love kids: wonderful.  Having 7 kids because your religion tells you you "have to": I'll feel bad for your kids.

I don't buy this either/or you are trying to set up.  I know lots of people that have big families, in part because they think it's the right thing to do, and also because it is awesome and fulfilling. 

"My only purpose in existence is to breed."  -- a miserable person unfamiliar with any major pro-family religious tradition.

"I was meant for parenthood and I am doing what I was made to do." -- a happy person who has embraced a pro-family religious tradition.

The difference in the language is that the first one denies a person's humanity while the second one celebrates it.

PloddingInsight

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1033 on: November 04, 2014, 01:35:30 PM »
Those two concepts are probably far more entangled than your statement implies. I think it's one of the reasons promoting gender equality is harder in traditional societies. Very few girls grow up in a culture that teaches them the domestic arts and decide that they want to be fighter pilots. They are brought up to WANT to have 20 children, and that is the most insidious thing.

I'm a traditional religious person (a male) and I think the domestic arts are a lot more meaningful and fulfilling than being a fighter pilot.  Should I share this preference with my children (of both sexes)?  Is it only insidious when I share it with daughters?  If so, why?

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1034 on: November 04, 2014, 02:01:48 PM »
Having 7 kids because you love kids: wonderful.  Having 7 kids because your religion tells you you "have to": I'll feel bad for your kids.

Those two concepts are probably far more entangled than your statement implies. I think it's one of the reasons promoting gender equality is harder in traditional societies. Very few girls grow up in a culture that teaches them the domestic arts and decide that they want to be fighter pilots. They are brought up to WANT to have 20 children, and that is the most insidious thing.

I don't argue that society as a whole may be better when children aren't pigeon-holed into any traditional roles. But, is it such a terrible thing if the individuals themselves are happy? Who are we to judge?

It's like being perfectly happy with dial-up modem,  just because you don't know any better, even when your neighbors have DSL.

Lol.  No one was ever happy with a dial-up modem, even when dial-up modems were cutting edge.

galliver

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1035 on: November 04, 2014, 02:14:32 PM »
Those two concepts are probably far more entangled than your statement implies. I think it's one of the reasons promoting gender equality is harder in traditional societies. Very few girls grow up in a culture that teaches them the domestic arts and decide that they want to be fighter pilots. They are brought up to WANT to have 20 children, and that is the most insidious thing.

I'm a traditional religious person (a male) and I think the domestic arts are a lot more meaningful and fulfilling than being a fighter pilot.  Should I share this preference with my children (of both sexes)?  Is it only insidious when I share it with daughters?  If so, why?

The insidious aspect is essentially teaching people to be happy with their limited options in life, in ignorance of other options, and denying them the agency to change their social status.

"Fighter pilot" was a random traditionally non-female profession that popped into my head. Since I think "good people raising their babies right" is more important than dropping bombs as well, let's change it to engineer, or surgeon, or legislator. I think all children (girls and boys) need to be taught to take care of themselves and their environment (cooking, cleaning, etc), care and nurture those around them, and pursue intellectual growth and service to the community (i.e. employment) with their particular talents. If you agree with me, then you don't really fall under the "traditional" label you claim, as traditionally boys are encouraged to pursue education and employment far more than girls, who are taught the caring and nurturing in preparation for being mothers and homemakers (in some societies women also do the lion's share of farm work).

I'm a non-religious woman raised by a stay at home mother. I know that being a parent and homemaker is an important, full-time job. But I think women and men are equally capable of it, and every couple can decide how they want to structure their family. I believe that alongside the satisfaction of washed dishes and floors, women deserve the satisfaction of a problem solved, a customer satisfied, and a presentation well-done. And if they give this up, they will do so knowingly.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1036 on: November 04, 2014, 07:33:21 PM »
Ah, shit, a perpetually-broke family friend just announced via Facebook that she has become a Jamberry "sales consultant".

At least when her sister was selling that Pampered Chef crap we got some decent stoneware out of it.

I'm tired of seeing my friends turn to the ways of the consultant. (A lot of Scentsy and Thirty-One.) And, even worse, only hearing from them when they're having a sales party or offering new discounts. :/

The horror -- you made me google "Thirty one" and I can never take that back.
Seriously,  what is the point of those items and a whole company / sales line devoted to them?  I must have missed the memo, because "I DON'T GET IT". 

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1037 on: November 04, 2014, 07:59:01 PM »
I don't buy this either/or you are trying to set up.  I know lots of people that have big families, in part because they think it's the right thing to do, and also because it is awesome and fulfilling. 

"My only purpose in existence is to breed."  -- a miserable person unfamiliar with any major pro-family religious tradition.

"I was meant for parenthood and I am doing what I was made to do." -- a happy person who has embraced a pro-family religious tradition.

The difference in the language is that the first one denies a person's humanity while the second one celebrates it.

HAHAHA!!  Laughed so hard at the section I bolded.  I am: one of 4 kids.  The difference being, my parents didn't have us all because they're religious, they had us (and let us know they had us) because they wanted a big, awesome family.  My best friend growing up was one of 11 kids.  Neither parent was happy, either with so many kids ("mouths to feed"), nor were they happy with each other because the constant stress of so many kids was too much for their relationship.  However, being good Catholics, they will never divorce because that's a sin.  I still see them sometimes.  They look far older than they should, and they rarely smile.  Almost none of their children has embraced their philosophy on breeding, and I can understand why.
I also grew up in an area with a LOT of Mormon and Catholic families.  With very few exceptions, at least one partner in the couple was miserable and felt trapped by their religiously defined roles, whether they cared to voice their dissatisfaction or not.  (And yes, it can be quite obvious to bystanders.)  Maybe the husband wanted to stay home but had to be The Provider.  The mom wanted to work but had to do too much domestic labor, spent too much time pregnant and raising children to advance in a career.  If the husband/religion even let her work outside the home.
The happy families I knew?  They all would agree with your second statement.  But that wasn't the majority.
I really don't have a problem with people having large families because that's what they want to do.  More power to you!  I DO have a problem with using religion as a reason to do so, because it's inevitably tied up with misogyny and keeping women from having options.  It's that someone outside of the family is defining their choices for them, and using fear of God as a reason.  That's a shitty thing to do to another human being, and it's always, always men who benefit from that status quo.
I will also never consider it "pro-family" to have someone who's not part of the family unit define what you should and should not do, or what's best for your family, even if it's your religion telling you what to do.  It's your family, you get to decide what's best. 
Lastly, it is the ultimate acknowledgement of one's humanity to point out that they have a choice in whether or not to produce offspring.  One of the amazing, wonderful things which differentiates humans from other animals is that we have used our brains to give ourselves many choices: choices in how we live, where we live, and how many children we have.  And for good reason!  Do not forget that childbearing is still painful and dangerous for women, even in the first world and with the best medical technologies available.  Things still go wrong far too often.
Frankly, I'd be seriously pissed off at any god who made us to have the sole, or at least overriding, purpose of continuing the species.  What a crappy reason for existence.  No, I think we have such large brains because we are capable of doing so much more.  Do not get me wrong, becoming a mother was one of the best things I've ever done.  However, you will never convince me that that is my purpose in life.  There's so much more to me and my life than just that.  Is it wrong of me to be sad for others who've been convinced to sell their idea of themselves so short?
« Last Edit: November 04, 2014, 08:58:09 PM by SisterX »

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1038 on: November 04, 2014, 10:02:59 PM »
Read today on FB: My friends are generally not an issue, but I am on a couple of message boards.  This one...just made me shake my head:

"I am asking for everyone's help as a lot of you may know recently there was a power outage due to a lightening strike that caused major loss to several families on the block, including us.  We lost our OVEN / MICROWAVE / 2 X- BOXES / STEREO SYSTEM / ALL THREE HOME PHONES / AND THREE FLAT SCREEN TV'S !! Due to our situation we can't afford to buy what we lost. Electric company won't replace without receipts, and not even full amount!  So if you have any of the items above that you wish to donate or sell at reasonable price please help"

 
I can understand the micro and oven.

But the rest? I have one home phone and one TV.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1039 on: November 04, 2014, 11:21:51 PM »
Read today on FB: My friends are generally not an issue, but I am on a couple of message boards.  This one...just made me shake my head:

"I am asking for everyone's help as a lot of you may know recently there was a power outage due to a lightening strike that caused major loss to several families on the block, including us.  We lost our OVEN / MICROWAVE / 2 X- BOXES / STEREO SYSTEM / ALL THREE HOME PHONES / AND THREE FLAT SCREEN TV'S !! Due to our situation we can't afford to buy what we lost. Electric company won't replace without receipts, and not even full amount!  So if you have any of the items above that you wish to donate or sell at reasonable price please help"

 
I can understand the micro and oven.

But the rest? I have one home phone and one TV.

Flat screen tvs are just called tvs now

Caella

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1040 on: November 05, 2014, 06:11:46 AM »

...


HAHAHA!!  Laughed so hard at the section I bolded.  I am: one of 4 kids.  .....

If this was reddit, i would have given you gold, SisterX.

Couldn't agree more, really.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1041 on: November 05, 2014, 07:00:13 AM »
I'm amazed at all the store bought Halloween costumes on my FB feed.  While I consider the cute pictures of people's kids in costume a part of my toll for not complaining about their snap happy ways the rest of the year, it shocks me that so many people pay 20-30 bucks a pop for something that'll be worn less than 1 day.

The best one so far is homemade - the parent dressed in a white coverall suit from the hardware store with red tape, then  dressed their kid in black.  Bowling with a toddler!

We did this, but we have a huge, fun party every year. And I'll re-sell the costume used on eBay to minimize some of my costs. But then again, we plan on halloween costumes by putting money away each month throughout the year and it's a big event with all of our friends/family. Definitely worth it.
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eyePod

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1042 on: November 05, 2014, 07:03:49 AM »
Ah, shit, a perpetually-broke family friend just announced via Facebook that she has become a Jamberry "sales consultant".

At least when her sister was selling that Pampered Chef crap we got some decent stoneware out of it.

I'm tired of seeing my friends turn to the ways of the consultant. (A lot of Scentsy and Thirty-One.) And, even worse, only hearing from them when they're having a sales party or offering new discounts. :/

I think you're misconstruing "Facebook friend" with "real life friend." And if anyone starts doing that on my FB feed, deleted. I'm sick of their crap and I don't really care.
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PloddingInsight

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1043 on: November 05, 2014, 07:15:18 AM »
I really don't have a problem with people having large families because that's what they want to do.  More power to you!  I DO have a problem with using religion as a reason to do so,
It sounds like you're saying, have a big family if you want to, but only if your desire to have a big family is sincere.

I don't get how religion gets equated with insincerity.  I, for one, am sincerely religious and I want a big family, for reasons that include religion.  In other words, my religion is part of my worldview.  Hmmm.
Quote
because it's inevitably tied up with misogyny and keeping women from having options.
Religion will generally tell you that a mother who is personally raising her children in a loving home is the most important thing that is going on in a family household.  So yeah, the option of dropping the kids off at daycare so she can go play tennis and spend a few hours at Nordstroms is discouraged, as is having a second income for other-than-dire reasons.  I mean, that is religion's thing -- it is about providing moral guidance to encourage human thriving.  Religion is going to tell you that A is better than B.
Quote
It's that someone outside of the family is defining their choices for them, and using fear of God as a reason.
Any religion worth its salt is going to have something to say about how people should live.  If you as a religious person feel like you are being controlled, it's because you don't believe in that religion.  So, maybe find a new Church or Synagogue or whatever?  I mean, why would you feel like your religious leader is controlling if he's getting up there and promoting things you strongly believe in?  Again, you seem to assume insincerity.
Quote
That's a shitty thing to do to another human being, and it's always, always men who benefit from that status quo.
Benefit how?

In a traditional mother/father setup, the man leaves the home all day to work at a job while the woman takes care of the home and raises the children.  This mostly benefits the man if you are assuming a secular world-view where public social status and worldly success at a career are the most important things, while home-making is a necessary evil.  But consider that in a religious world-view, the welfare of children takes priority over the day-to-day satisfaction of the adults, so the homemaking role (in particular the parenting that a homemaker is able to do) is far more important than career success, so the working parent is the one in a supporting role to the real action!

To head off the objections that I see coming:  I don't have any particular problem with a reversal of traditional parenting roles, if it makes sense for a couple.  I'd love to be a stay-at-home dad!  Unfortunately the economic comparative advantage runs against me:  I'm better at earning money than my spouse and she is better at parenting.  But I truly don't think this separates me from being able to speak about traditional religious values from a first-person perspective.  The reality is, if people set out to create single-income families, the father is going to end up working a majority of the time due to human nature and economics.  Granted, economic changes are moving us in the opposite direction.  There are genuinely more families today where it makes sense to have a stay-at-home dad, and I expect that trend to continue, and not with any regret.  In fact I'm green with envy.  But my purpose here is to say that there's nothing wrong with stay-at-home moms, and there's nothing wrong with having religious reasons for the choices you make.

PloddingInsight

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1044 on: November 05, 2014, 07:29:22 AM »
I think all children (girls and boys) need to be taught to take care of themselves and their environment (cooking, cleaning, etc), care and nurture those around them, and pursue intellectual growth and service to the community (i.e. employment) with their particular talents. If you agree with me, then you don't really fall under the "traditional" label you claim, as traditionally boys are encouraged to pursue education and employment far more than girls, who are taught the caring and nurturing in preparation for being mothers and homemakers (in some societies women also do the lion's share of farm work).

I'm not convinced its possible to raise your children without some bias regarding their future choices in life.  Obviously you can over-do it, and I'm not saying people don't go too far.  I'm sure there are old-fashioned folks that discourage their daughters from achieving too much career success.  There's also professional women who basically get a free pass to strongly discourage their daughters from being homemakers.  Plenty of well-off people would discourage their kids from skipping college to go into the skilled trades (or military service).  Some lower-class families discourage education as well.

A too-controlling parent can prevent their children from making an informed choice, but there has to be a limit to the amount of exposure you owe your children to their options.  I mean, do you really expect non-religious people to go out of their way to make sure their kids know they can sell all their belongings and join a monastary?

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1045 on: November 05, 2014, 07:43:19 AM »
The insidious aspect is essentially teaching people to be happy with their limited options in life, in ignorance of other options, and denying them the agency to change their social status.
Something about that statement strikes me as odd and it might because I've seen a number of articles (like this one) about how having too many options can also make people unhappy due to decision fatigue and the like. By all means someone should not be held back from doing something they want to do and they should know what their options are, but on the same token, there also needs to be an understanding that for a lot of high profile jobs there are usually more people that want the job than are actually needed (i.e. President of the United States, one needed every four years) and even for jobs that aren't as high profile you might not be able achieve them due to personal limitations that aren't imposed by social constructs (e.g. intelligence, artistic talent, etc.).

I don't know, it's a complicated subject but it really does seem like sometimes when you talk to someone and they are unhappy it is because they think if they had made a different life decision that they would be happier than they currently are. This kind of plays in to the MMM philosophy of being happy with what you have and not trying to "keep up with the Jones" with regards to material stuff.

mm1970

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1046 on: November 05, 2014, 08:56:18 AM »
The insidious aspect is essentially teaching people to be happy with their limited options in life, in ignorance of other options, and denying them the agency to change their social status.
Something about that statement strikes me as odd and it might because I've seen a number of articles (like this one) about how having too many options can also make people unhappy due to decision fatigue and the like. By all means someone should not be held back from doing something they want to do and they should know what their options are, but on the same token, there also needs to be an understanding that for a lot of high profile jobs there are usually more people that want the job than are actually needed (i.e. President of the United States, one needed every four years) and even for jobs that aren't as high profile you might not be able achieve them due to personal limitations that aren't imposed by social constructs (e.g. intelligence, artistic talent, etc.).

I don't know, it's a complicated subject but it really does seem like sometimes when you talk to someone and they are unhappy it is because they think if they had made a different life decision that they would be happier than they currently are. This kind of plays in to the MMM philosophy of being happy with what you have and not trying to "keep up with the Jones" with regards to material stuff.
It's kind of an optimism, pessimism, and realism thing, isn't it?

Not only decisions, but capabilities, and options.

You know, I was a poor kid. People in my family didn't go to college.  But my teachers since elementary talked like I was going to college (I was #1 in my class).  So, I always planned to go to college (despite my father telling me on my 16th birthday that I should get married, have babies, stay home and have "an easy life").  Like that was going to happen - I was a nerd who hadn't even dated by then.  Apparently he said that to all my older sisters too.  At least he was consistent!

So I went to college (an expensive one to boot), joined ROTC, got a 3 year scholarship (didn't even know enough to apply for a 4 year one).  Nearing graduation, I had this conversation with a rich-kid classmate, a C student (his dad was a doctor).  Note, I also had jobs during the school year and summers so that I could eat.

RC: Must suck for you to have to go into the military
Me: Well, no
RC: you don't have choices like we do!
Me: It's the agreement I made
RC: But our starting salary is $40k per year, you are making half that!
Me: Well, after 5 years we'll be equal
RC: But it still must suck
Me: Look.  I'm lucky that I even made it to college. Nobody in family has gone, and we don't have any money.  The Navy was my ticket.  And I owe them time.  I'm lucky to have this opportunity.

It was acceptance of my life.

I think part of mustachianism has to be optimism, and has to be realism.  You can reach for the stars, but honestly, not everyone can do everything.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1047 on: November 05, 2014, 09:08:19 AM »
Those two concepts are probably far more entangled than your statement implies. I think it's one of the reasons promoting gender equality is harder in traditional societies. Very few girls grow up in a culture that teaches them the domestic arts and decide that they want to be fighter pilots. They are brought up to WANT to have 20 children, and that is the most insidious thing.

I'm a traditional religious person (a male) and I think the domestic arts are a lot more meaningful and fulfilling than being a fighter pilot. Should I share this preference with my children (of both sexes)? Is it only insidious when I share it with daughters?  If so, why?
You can share it all you want, but if you judge or harm your children for thinking you are nuts and wanting/enjoying a career,  or if you or actively harm your children's chances then I am going to feel bad for your kids.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1048 on: November 05, 2014, 09:11:53 AM »
Foamy!

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #1049 on: November 05, 2014, 09:14:38 AM »
PloddingInsight - I understood your perspective, even if I don't entirely agree with it, that is, until you started pontificating about tennis lessons and Nordstroms visits. This leads me to conclude that you have no actual perception of the myriad of real reasons why women decide to work or to put their children in daycare, part time or full. I guess this shouldn't come as a surprise, since you already said your wife is better at the parenting bit.

You remind me of the husbands at my church who have made it perfectly clear to their SAHM wives that there is no money in the budget for them to spend a couple hundred dollars a month to put their kids in a Parent's Day Out program just so they can have a much needed break. I actually had a conversation with a woman in nursery who had it clearly ingrained in her that paying for five hours a week free time was too expensive, even though she was emotionally and physically exhausted. I guess if she was "better" at earning money, she could buy her free time, right?   

And keep in mind, my perspective on your thoughts is coming from a stay at home mom who attends a conservative Christian church.