Author Topic: Overheard on Facebook  (Read 1893498 times)

EngineerMum

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2550 on: June 28, 2015, 08:26:46 AM »
Then there was a slew of posts saying she should be sure to take a man with her when she went to buy a new car.

Sadly, this is statistically likely to make a difference. My personal experience is that women are treated like idiots at the car yard. Sad but still true.

DINK

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2551 on: June 28, 2015, 10:20:21 AM »
Standard joke/comment in Canada - we have 2 seasons, winter and road construction.


Same here in Minnesota.

And Sweden.

Texas doesn't have that, but we have construction year round which translates to a bunch of lane closures on construction sites that you rarely see anyone working on.

The joke in Texas is that our seasons are December, January, February, and Summer!

In Maine we have 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.

forummm

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2552 on: June 28, 2015, 11:14:34 AM »
A relative just posted to Facebook about his "early in the week retirement as of this Monday!!"

He's 67.

Fixed this for him.

Joggernot

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2553 on: June 28, 2015, 11:49:55 AM »
Then there was a slew of posts saying she should be sure to take a man with her when she went to buy a new car.

Sadly, this is statistically likely to make a difference. My personal experience is that women are treated like idiots at the car yard. Sad but still true.
A good friend of ours went down to buy a car.  She looked at several with the salesman and decided to buy one.  The salesman told her to come back with her husband to close the deal.  This was in North Carolina.  She, being originally from California, let the salesman have both barrels.  She bought the car without her husband being there.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2554 on: June 28, 2015, 03:21:31 PM »
Then there was a slew of posts saying she should be sure to take a man with her when she went to buy a new car.

Sadly, this is statistically likely to make a difference. My personal experience is that women are treated like idiots at the car yard. Sad but still true.

It is indeed true. That's one of the reasons I only buy vehicles from people I know now. At least when you're doing business with someone you know, you will actually receive the items and services you pay for and there won't be any extra "surprises" on the bill. You also won't be forced to wait for several hours while they "talk to the boss" or try to manipulate you into getting a bunch of add-ons you don't need, don't want, and can't use.
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RWD

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2555 on: June 28, 2015, 10:33:44 PM »
Then there was a slew of posts saying she should be sure to take a man with her when she went to buy a new car.

Sadly, this is statistically likely to make a difference. My personal experience is that women are treated like idiots at the car yard. Sad but still true.

A good friend of ours went down to buy a car.  She looked at several with the salesman and decided to buy one.  The salesman told her to come back with her husband to close the deal.  This was in North Carolina.  She, being originally from California, let the salesman have both barrels.  She bought the car without her husband being there.

If she really wanted to make a point she should have bought a car from a different dealer after telling the salesman's manager why he lost the sale... As a side note, it's usually better to go with another person when buying a car to help keep yourself from making impulsive decisions.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2015, 10:35:22 PM by RWD »

aussiesaver

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2556 on: June 28, 2015, 11:50:26 PM »
"Thanks (finance company) for our brand new car!" They actually tagged their finance broker in the post.  Car is crazy expensive and they have only just got themselves out of some serious financial trouble and always complain that she has to work full time instead of part time like other mum friends of hers.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2557 on: June 29, 2015, 02:07:53 AM »
If she really wanted to make a point she should have bought a car from a different dealer after telling the salesman's manager why he lost the sale...

+1. Just to make a point, she gave him a nice big commission for his rudeness.

theadvicist

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2558 on: June 29, 2015, 02:39:07 AM »
If she really wanted to make a point she should have bought a car from a different dealer after telling the salesman's manager why he lost the sale...

+1. Just to make a point, she gave him a nice big commission for his rudeness.

Yeah it could have been a massive reverse-psychology trick. "Hmmm, she's from Cali. I bet if I imply she can't make a decision without her husband she'll try to prove me wrong!".

I would have taken my business elsewhere.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2559 on: June 29, 2015, 05:56:46 AM »
When my wife and I moved cross-country after college, a friend of South Asian descent helped us out by driving with us. We had dinner one night at a Waffle House in Chattanooga, and Dusty the waitress was clearly pretty bothered to have a brown man in her restaurant. For some reason what felt right was to give her a big tip to show how little we cared about what she thought. As we walked out we saw her jaw drop.

But I wouldn't do that with something as big as a car.

(A big tip at Waffle House in Chattanooga is $5.)

cerebus

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2560 on: June 29, 2015, 06:27:28 AM »
When my wife and I moved cross-country after college, a friend of South Asian descent helped us out by driving with us. We had dinner one night at a Waffle House in Chattanooga, and Dusty the waitress was clearly pretty bothered to have a brown man in her restaurant. For some reason what felt right was to give her a big tip to show how little we cared about what she thought. As we walked out we saw her jaw drop.

But I wouldn't do that with something as big as a car.

(A big tip at Waffle House in Chattanooga is $5.)

If I meet you I'll pretend to be all racist and stuff so that you can disdainfully throw money at me :D

faithless

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2561 on: June 29, 2015, 07:29:06 AM »
"When I feel like crap- I spend money...  This past weekend I got us a brand new couch, new guest room furniture, and a trip booked to the Bahamas... So you can only imagine how terrible I've been feeling LOL."


Jeesh, even counselling would be cheaper. And stand a chance of solving their underlying issues about spending to make themselves feel better.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2562 on: June 29, 2015, 07:42:16 AM »
"Thanks (finance company) for our brand new car!" They actually tagged their finance broker in the post.  Car is crazy expensive and they have only just got themselves out of some serious financial trouble and always complain that she has to work full time instead of part time like other mum friends of hers.
At least they didn't do it at Christmas time and thank "Santa" for their new car debt... :P
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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2563 on: June 29, 2015, 10:36:01 AM »
Has anybody mentioned an Irish Goodbye? I just learned that one.

Is that like a Persian Goodbye? :)

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2564 on: June 29, 2015, 11:11:16 AM »
Nah, I think you're thinking about an Oklahoma Hello....

Maigahane

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2565 on: July 06, 2015, 09:56:28 AM »
Friend: When the wife goes back to work after maternity leave we're talking about trading in my car (had for less than a year) for something that can fit 3 car seats
Me: I've heard numerous stories of people fitting three car seats in cars like a Honda Fit, you just need the right car seats
F: But then I'd have to buy new car seats, I don't want to do that
Me: So you'd rather buy a new car? That's some logic for you right there

I'm actually proud of myself for getting that out in a light hearted tone so I didn't sound too judgmental but his wife has a 9 passenger SUV and I can't even imaging they'd need to have all three kids in his car very often anyway. He just gave a non-committal shrug that said "yeah it's dumb but we're probably going to do it anyway" and started talking about mid-sized Jeeps
And the saga never ends. Husband got laid off from his job and was out of work for a month. He complained about wife complaining when he missed a payment on a loan in that time, despite getting about a month's worth of pay between severance and earned vacation. Soon after getting a new job (lower level, pay cut, and further away) wife posts:
Quote
Newborn-daughter doesn't realize it but I am spending her college money on hair bows.. Seriously I think its time to get another job to support this habit!
Followed two days later by:
Quote
The first "out grown" box has been moved out of daughter's drawer... so many clothes she never wore or only wore one time.. girl problems!
And another four days later pictures of a new laptop for the husband....

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2566 on: July 06, 2015, 10:18:51 AM »
When my wife and I moved cross-country after college, a friend of South Asian descent helped us out by driving with us. We had dinner one night at a Waffle House in Chattanooga, and Dusty the waitress was clearly pretty bothered to have a brown man in her restaurant. For some reason what felt right was to give her a big tip to show how little we cared about what she thought. As we walked out we saw her jaw drop.

But I wouldn't do that with something as big as a car.

(A big tip at Waffle House in Chattanooga is $5.)

As someone of South Asian descent, I would have been quite happy to walk out of there. I keep hearing that the South is not as bad of bigoted northerners make it out to be, but I have never had anyone get bothered by me in the north. I have had issues in Arkansas, TN, and NC.

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2567 on: July 07, 2015, 01:45:16 PM »
When my wife and I moved cross-country after college, a friend of South Asian descent helped us out by driving with us. We had dinner one night at a Waffle House in Chattanooga, and Dusty the waitress was clearly pretty bothered to have a brown man in her restaurant. For some reason what felt right was to give her a big tip to show how little we cared about what she thought. As we walked out we saw her jaw drop.

But I wouldn't do that with something as big as a car.

(A big tip at Waffle House in Chattanooga is $5.)



As someone of South Asian descent, I would have been quite happy to walk out of there. I keep hearing that the South is not as bad of bigoted northerners make it out to be, but I have never had anyone get bothered by me in the north. I have had issues in Arkansas, TN, and NC.

Also South Asian.

I mostly grew up in the "South" - metro Atlanta. I also spent some time in and near Savannah.

I'd say the most racist place I've been in America is probably the midwest. I couldn't walk down the street without getting stared down.


wenchsenior

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2568 on: July 07, 2015, 02:01:02 PM »
When my wife and I moved cross-country after college, a friend of South Asian descent helped us out by driving with us. We had dinner one night at a Waffle House in Chattanooga, and Dusty the waitress was clearly pretty bothered to have a brown man in her restaurant. For some reason what felt right was to give her a big tip to show how little we cared about what she thought. As we walked out we saw her jaw drop.

But I wouldn't do that with something as big as a car.

(A big tip at Waffle House in Chattanooga is $5.)



As someone of South Asian descent, I would have been quite happy to walk out of there. I keep hearing that the South is not as bad of bigoted northerners make it out to be, but I have never had anyone get bothered by me in the north. I have had issues in Arkansas, TN, and NC.

Also South Asian.

I mostly grew up in the "South" - metro Atlanta. I also spent some time in and near Savannah.

I'd say the most racist place I've been in America is probably the midwest. I couldn't walk down the street without getting stared down.

I feel fairly safe making a really sweeping generalization that racism is absolutely thriving in all rural areas of this country, regardless of region. The level of racism then recedes, roughly in correlation with increasing density of population, but is still present. 

Joggernot

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2569 on: July 07, 2015, 02:21:22 PM »
I feel fairly safe making a really sweeping generalization that racism is absolutely thriving in all rural areas of this country, regardless of region. The level of racism then recedes, roughly in correlation with increasing density of population, but is still present.
That is an absolutely pathetic statement with nothing to support it.

wenchsenior

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2570 on: July 07, 2015, 02:40:16 PM »
I feel fairly safe making a really sweeping generalization that racism is absolutely thriving in all rural areas of this country, regardless of region. The level of racism then recedes, roughly in correlation with increasing density of population, but is still present.
That is an absolutely pathetic statement with nothing to support it.

I agree it's definitely pathetic. And I'm pretty sure it's also true. Note that I didn't say that I think every individual in rural areas is racist, or that all people in cities aren't. I've lived rural areas, small cities, and large cities, in three different regions of the country (though not the South) and I think the country is making slow but steady progress. But I still think racism is thriving.

I was actually sort of defending the South, which gets a terrible rep. I think my home region (Midwest) is also very racist, but it is kept more on the down-low there because of socio-cultural expectations...Midwestern 'nice' and so on. My husband's from the West, and his impression is that it's thriving there, as well.

But if you have stats to make me less cynical, I'd be very happy to see them. I do tend to assume the worst when it comes to humanity LOL.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2571 on: July 07, 2015, 02:44:41 PM »
Nah, I think you're thinking about an Oklahoma Hello....

There's at least one other mustachian with knowledge of musical theatre! Yay!

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2572 on: July 07, 2015, 04:25:22 PM »
I feel fairly safe making a really sweeping generalization that racism is absolutely thriving in all rural areas of this country, regardless of region. The level of racism then recedes, roughly in correlation with increasing density of population, but is still present.
That is an absolutely pathetic statement with nothing to support it.

I agree it's definitely pathetic. And I'm pretty sure it's also true. Note that I didn't say that I think every individual in rural areas is racist, or that all people in cities aren't. I've lived rural areas, small cities, and large cities, in three different regions of the country (though not the South) and I think the country is making slow but steady progress. But I still think racism is thriving.

I was actually sort of defending the South, which gets a terrible rep. I think my home region (Midwest) is also very racist, but it is kept more on the down-low there because of socio-cultural expectations...Midwestern 'nice' and so on. My husband's from the West, and his impression is that it's thriving there, as well.

But if you have stats to make me less cynical, I'd be very happy to see them. I do tend to assume the worst when it comes to humanity LOL.

I lived in the Deep South--south Georgia. In my admittedly limited experience, the St. Louis area was more racist and more segregated than south Georgia. I taught community college both places, and the mix in Georgia reflected the area--about 60/40 racial mix, with a few private school grads. But 30 miles west of St. Louis, I taught three classes each semester for a whole year and saw--not taught, but SAW--exactly zero black people.
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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2573 on: July 07, 2015, 05:09:28 PM »
I lived in the Deep South--south Georgia. In my admittedly limited experience, the St. Louis area was more racist and more segregated than south Georgia. I taught community college both places, and the mix in Georgia reflected the area--about 60/40 racial mix, with a few private school grads. But 30 miles west of St. Louis, I taught three classes each semester for a whole year and saw--not taught, but SAW--exactly zero black people.

St Louis is racist because you didn't SEE any black people? I think you have a different definition of racism than I do.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2574 on: July 07, 2015, 07:15:00 PM »
I feel fairly safe making a really sweeping generalization that racism is absolutely thriving in all rural areas of this country, regardless of region. The level of racism then recedes, roughly in correlation with increasing density of population, but is still present.
That is an absolutely pathetic statement with nothing to support it.

I agree it's definitely pathetic. And I'm pretty sure it's also true. Note that I didn't say that I think every individual in rural areas is racist, or that all people in cities aren't. I've lived rural areas, small cities, and large cities, in three different regions of the country (though not the South) and I think the country is making slow but steady progress. But I still think racism is thriving.

I was actually sort of defending the South, which gets a terrible rep. I think my home region (Midwest) is also very racist, but it is kept more on the down-low there because of socio-cultural expectations...Midwestern 'nice' and so on. My husband's from the West, and his impression is that it's thriving there, as well.

But if you have stats to make me less cynical, I'd be very happy to see them. I do tend to assume the worst when it comes to humanity LOL.
How is that racist??? Does St-Louis prevent black people from entering the city or something??? It has nothing to do with racism.

I lived in the Deep South--south Georgia. In my admittedly limited experience, the St. Louis area was more racist and more segregated than south Georgia. I taught community college both places, and the mix in Georgia reflected the area--about 60/40 racial mix, with a few private school grads. But 30 miles west of St. Louis, I taught three classes each semester for a whole year and saw--not taught, but SAW--exactly zero black people.

AlanStache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2575 on: July 07, 2015, 07:48:38 PM »
When my wife and I moved cross-country after college, a friend of South Asian descent helped us out by driving with us. We had dinner one night at a Waffle House in Chattanooga, and Dusty the waitress was clearly pretty bothered to have a brown man in her restaurant. For some reason what felt right was to give her a big tip to show how little we cared about what she thought. As we walked out we saw her jaw drop.

But I wouldn't do that with something as big as a car.

(A big tip at Waffle House in Chattanooga is $5.)



As someone of South Asian descent, I would have been quite happy to walk out of there. I keep hearing that the South is not as bad of bigoted northerners make it out to be, but I have never had anyone get bothered by me in the north. I have had issues in Arkansas, TN, and NC.

Also South Asian.

I mostly grew up in the "South" - metro Atlanta. I also spent some time in and near Savannah.

I'd say the most racist place I've been in America is probably the midwest. I couldn't walk down the street without getting stared down.

As a middle-class-hetero-white-dude race intolerance seems to be more correlated to community size and local diversity than north/south/midwest/etc.  my 0.02$
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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2576 on: July 07, 2015, 08:19:29 PM »
I feel fairly safe making a really sweeping generalization that racism is absolutely thriving in all rural areas of this country, regardless of region. The level of racism then recedes, roughly in correlation with increasing density of population, but is still present.
That is an absolutely pathetic statement with nothing to support it.

I agree it's definitely pathetic. And I'm pretty sure it's also true. Note that I didn't say that I think every individual in rural areas is racist, or that all people in cities aren't. I've lived rural areas, small cities, and large cities, in three different regions of the country (though not the South) and I think the country is making slow but steady progress. But I still think racism is thriving.

I was actually sort of defending the South, which gets a terrible rep. I think my home region (Midwest) is also very racist, but it is kept more on the down-low there because of socio-cultural expectations...Midwestern 'nice' and so on. My husband's from the West, and his impression is that it's thriving there, as well.

But if you have stats to make me less cynical, I'd be very happy to see them. I do tend to assume the worst when it comes to humanity LOL.

I lived in the Deep South--south Georgia. In my admittedly limited experience, the St. Louis area was more racist and more segregated than south Georgia. I taught community college both places, and the mix in Georgia reflected the area--about 60/40 racial mix, with a few private school grads. But 30 miles west of St. Louis, I taught three classes each semester for a whole year and saw--not taught, but SAW--exactly zero black people.

I grew up in the Deep South and have lived in St. Louis for 20 years, so I think I can speak to this, although I wouldn't claim to be an expert. St. Louis is quite segregated. It is quite true that very few black individuals live in certain parts of the metro area, particularly in the south and the west. But like others, I don't think it's fair to automatically conclude that just because demographics aren't mixed that people are racist. Mind you, I imagine a certain amount of people are racist and have chosen to live in certain areas because they are homogenous (i.e. white). But why would you assume that? It makes no sense.

I live in one of the most racially diverse areas of the St. Louis region, and I have to tell you, just because there's a mixed population doesn't mean a place is somehow magically less racist. I have heard multiple stores about our mayor saying thinly veiled racist things to people. He's the freaking mayor! I would say, however, that he's thankfully in the minority in my community, despite his leadership position. He's older and will not run again, so I look forward to a new day.

FWIW, my husband grew up in rural Illinois where there were zero minorities (except for the Chinese family who ran the restaurant and the Indian doctor), and he is 100% not racist.

Another thing about the South - I think in many respects Southerners learned that it was socially unacceptable to express what they really thought. In that sense, racism in the South has gone heavily underground or been re-articulated more "politely" (Confederate flags, etc). That doesn't mean it disappeared, but when you live in a place notorious for its former racism and viewed as a national embarrassment till this day (my hometown can't ever forget those hoses and that church bombing), you kinda learn to temper it a bit. I grew up around a ton of good ole boys, and I rarely if ever heard racist jokes. Homophobic jokes, on the other hand, were de rigueur. Because this area of the Midwest didn't have as high profile of a racist past, perhaps they feel more comfortable sharing what they really think?

Anyhow, that's my perspective on the South versus the lower Midwest. Of course it goes without saying that hidden racism and overt racism are both destructive.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2577 on: July 07, 2015, 09:00:08 PM »
Has anybody mentioned an Irish Goodbye? I just learned that one.

A SAHD I know "checks in" on Facebook almost every day at a coffee shop or restaurant with his two kids. Photos of his coffee drink or food is often included. This is in between checking a pools, children's museums, etc. He must spend a fortune on food and entertainment for them during the day. As far as I know he's almost never with his wife - she must be putting in extra hours to pay for all this!

Minus the photos, I think that was my husband for a few years there!   

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2578 on: July 08, 2015, 07:59:21 AM »
When my wife and I moved cross-country after college, a friend of South Asian descent helped us out by driving with us. We had dinner one night at a Waffle House in Chattanooga, and Dusty the waitress was clearly pretty bothered to have a brown man in her restaurant. For some reason what felt right was to give her a big tip to show how little we cared about what she thought. As we walked out we saw her jaw drop.

But I wouldn't do that with something as big as a car.

(A big tip at Waffle House in Chattanooga is $5.)



As someone of South Asian descent, I would have been quite happy to walk out of there. I keep hearing that the South is not as bad of bigoted northerners make it out to be, but I have never had anyone get bothered by me in the north. I have had issues in Arkansas, TN, and NC.

Also South Asian.

I mostly grew up in the "South" - metro Atlanta. I also spent some time in and near Savannah.

I'd say the most racist place I've been in America is probably the midwest. I couldn't walk down the street without getting stared down.

As a middle-class-hetero-white-dude race intolerance seems to be more correlated to community size and local diversity than north/south/midwest/etc.  my 0.02$

I agree. I don't think the midwest is racist because of it's location in America. I think it's more racist because there is very little diversity.

When I lived in the midwest it was very very obvious that the town was segregated. The black people lived in one shitty part and the latinos lived in the other shitty part. The white people all lived in "suburban" part of the town in the nice houses. And the white people that actually lived intown were consider trashy and local lingo was to call them "river rats".

I was in the midwest due to an IT company setting up shop there in a town of about 60,000. The company created a need for employees with skills so a bunch of us folks of of color were imported from around America to setup shop.

The influx of Indians, Africans, traditional looking Muslims, etc definitely upset the local people.

A Lebanese co-worker got assaulted  in the street by a man with a gun who kept throwing "wet back" type comments at him and waving his gun telling him to go back home type of crap. Cop came. No recourse, didn't even give a fuck about the guy with the gun.

I was "stopped" by the police (an off duty cop in his personal vehicle) for walking through an EMPTY parking lot at night. Literally walking from the office to my apartment in an area that's commonly walked through by people.

Local shop owners were happy to refer to the blacks as ni**ers, which was shocking since I'm not even white.

A local "friend" I made would often complain to me that his parents can't sell their house that was listed due to the fact that neighborhood had gone to shit now that there was so much black pepper living there.

I don't think it was the physical location again, I believe the reason everyone was hostile was that the town is 99% white according to the US Census report. I don't think the people knew how to react to color. To have so many educated colored people in their town must have really thrown them off.

I met a black man that is married to a white lady (town native) and they did quite well with real estate. He was able to purchase one of the rich people houses and gave me a private tour. He showed me how the house had slave staircases and he took a lot of pride in the fact that he was the first non-white person to own the house. All previous owners of the house had been white doctors.

Anyways, I'm kind of rambling but just sharing my side of the story.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2015, 08:04:14 AM by HairyUpperLip »

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2579 on: July 08, 2015, 08:02:56 AM »
FWIW, my husband grew up in rural Illinois where there were zero minorities (except for the Chinese family who ran the restaurant and the Indian doctor), and he is 100% not racist.

Racism isn't a hereditary trait. I'm glad your husband did not get sucked into the local antics. :)

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2580 on: July 08, 2015, 08:10:24 AM »
I live in a metro Atlanta suburb in a very mixed area (mostly black in this section), and some white neighbors (age 65+) on my street have said several openly racist things in the very small amount of time I've actually spoken to them. I'm white.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2581 on: July 08, 2015, 08:20:40 AM »
People are frightened by the unknown and by change, though they're not going to call it that or realize it. When you live in an area that is primarily white, or black, or purple, then they're going to naturally be frightened by someone different coming in. It happens with "race", religion, nationality, lifestyle - basically anything that makes you different.

If there's a small enough number of the "different" people, then all is well because they're clearly in the minority and are not a threat. When the number of the "different" people grows too large or becomes too prominent, then the fear kicks in and it can get very unpleasant.

Given time, things will calm down and people will learn to be accepting and tolerant. There are ways to speed up or slow down that process. Local officials, who are dealing with the same fear, are often guilty of making things worse before they can get better.

vivophoenix

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2582 on: July 08, 2015, 08:25:10 AM »
oh boy. has this really turned into a thread in which we pat each other on the back for being not racist, but we point out other people(regions, states, etc) who are,  with fun stories. and then offer our made up theories for why that is so?

almost zero people going back and forth actually understand what racism is, or its historical influence,  based on these comments.
 there is way more to racism then talking shit about neighbors, co workers and acquaintances, this thread is now just a huge circle jerk.

justajane

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2583 on: July 08, 2015, 09:06:45 AM »
oh boy. has this really turned into a thread in which we pat each other on the back for being not racist, but we point out other people(regions, states, etc) who are,  with fun stories. and then offer our made up theories for why that is so?

almost zero people going back and forth actually understand what racism is, or its historical influence,  based on these comments.
 there is way more to racism then talking shit about neighbors, co workers and acquaintances, this thread is now just a huge circle jerk.

If you and only you on this thread knows what racism is, please enlighten us then, instead of ranting about how ignorant everyone else is.

vivophoenix

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2584 on: July 08, 2015, 09:13:45 AM »
oh boy. has this really turned into a thread in which we pat each other on the back for being not racist, but we point out other people(regions, states, etc) who are,  with fun stories. and then offer our made up theories for why that is so?

almost zero people going back and forth actually understand what racism is, or its historical influence,  based on these comments.
 there is way more to racism then talking shit about neighbors, co workers and acquaintances, this thread is now just a huge circle jerk.
If you and only you on this thread knows what racism is, please enlighten us then, instead of ranting about how ignorant everyone else is.

 i said zero going back and forth. not sero in this thread.

sure ill tell you:  its years of institutionally making sure that one ethnic group doesn't get ahead and always has less then the reigning group. so to be honest most brown people don't give  damn what you think about them, or even say. but they care when you make sure  that they have less.

and before someone jumps up and claims they dont do that. perhaps you should research redlining, and other systematic slights
« Last Edit: July 08, 2015, 09:23:04 AM by vivophoenix »

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2585 on: July 08, 2015, 09:23:47 AM »
oh boy. has this really turned into a thread in which we pat each other on the back for being not racist, but we point out other people(regions, states, etc) who are,  with fun stories. and then offer our made up theories for why that is so?

almost zero people going back and forth actually understand what racism is, or its historical influence,  based on these comments.
 there is way more to racism then talking shit about neighbors, co workers and acquaintances, this thread is now just a huge circle jerk.

lol - you have to elaborate more if you are going to shit on everything everyone said and then offer up some weak definition...



 i said zero going back and forth. not sero in this thread.

sure ill tell you:  its years of institutionally making sure that one ethnic group doesn't get ahead and always has less then the reigning group. so to be honest most brown people don't give  damn what you think about us, or even say. but we care when you make sure  that we have less.

and before someone jumps up and claims they dont do that. perhaps you should research redlining, and other systematic slights


I don't even understand what point you are trying to say or make?

Are you claiming to have a superior understanding of racism just because our stories fall short of public lynchings? If so, I saw Obama speak in a park where they used to have KKK rallies. How many racism points do I win for that one?


justajane

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2586 on: July 08, 2015, 09:25:54 AM »
oh boy. has this really turned into a thread in which we pat each other on the back for being not racist, but we point out other people(regions, states, etc) who are,  with fun stories. and then offer our made up theories for why that is so?

almost zero people going back and forth actually understand what racism is, or its historical influence,  based on these comments.
 there is way more to racism then talking shit about neighbors, co workers and acquaintances, this thread is now just a huge circle jerk.
If you and only you on this thread knows what racism is, please enlighten us then, instead of ranting about how ignorant everyone else is.

 i said zero going back and forth. not sero in this thread.

sure ill tell you:  its years of institutionally making sure that one ethnic group doesn't get ahead and always has less then the reigning group. so to be honest most brown people don't give  damn what you think about us, or even say. but we care when you make sure  that we have less.

and before someone jumps up and claims they dont do that. perhaps you should research redlining, and other systematic slights

I think most of us discuss what people say and the jokes they tell, because it can be a marker for whether or not someone is prejudiced. I.e. if you tell a racist joke, it's very, very unlikely that you don't harbor a deep seated view of certain people as lesser. And it's what's in the hearts of a large group of people that led to the institutional racism of which you speak. Just because people haven't talked about the issue in terms that you recognize doesn't mean we aren't aware of the institutional issues.

I just would hate for you to get a sense that we are all idiots just based on what has been said here. You can certainly think whatever you like, but I don't think it's fair to paint everyone with such a broad brush based on one isolated conversation on here about what areas of the country might have more racists per capita and why, based on our experiences.

vivophoenix

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2587 on: July 08, 2015, 09:41:15 AM »
oh boy. has this really turned into a thread in which we pat each other on the back for being not racist, but we point out other people(regions, states, etc) who are,  with fun stories. and then offer our made up theories for why that is so?

almost zero people going back and forth actually understand what racism is, or its historical influence,  based on these comments.
 there is way more to racism then talking shit about neighbors, co workers and acquaintances, this thread is now just a huge circle jerk.
If you and only you on this thread knows what racism is, please enlighten us then, instead of ranting about how ignorant everyone else is.

 i said zero going back and forth. not sero in this thread.

sure ill tell you:  its years of institutionally making sure that one ethnic group doesn't get ahead and always has less then the reigning group. so to be honest most brown people don't give  damn what you think about us, or even say. but we care when you make sure  that we have less.

and before someone jumps up and claims they dont do that. perhaps you should research redlining, and other systematic slights

I think most of us discuss what people say and the jokes they tell, because it can be a marker for whether or not someone is prejudiced. I.e. if you tell a racist joke, it's very, very unlikely that you don't harbor a deep seated view of certain people as lesser. And it's what's in the hearts of a large group of people that led to the institutional racism of which you speak. Just because people haven't talked about the issue in terms that you recognize doesn't mean we aren't aware of the institutional issues.

I just would hate for you to get a sense that we are all idiots just based on what has been said here. You can certainly think whatever you like, but I don't think it's fair to paint everyone with such a broad brush based on one isolated conversation on here about what areas of the country might have more racists per capita and why, based on our experiences.

i see your point, however i disagree.using the racist joke indicator isnt good enough, not really to change anything.


 i do recognize the terms people are using, but i find often these terms are used to minimize a problem than actually talk about.

also shouldn't we attempt to view  racism from the eyes of the victims? not a series of 'thank god my husband escaped being a racist"  and ' this one time at band camp, these other white people said something racists to me' remarks?

im not painting everyone. im remarking to those who have said insensitive , ignorant things .


vivophoenix

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2588 on: July 08, 2015, 09:42:05 AM »
oh boy. has this really turned into a thread in which we pat each other on the back for being not racist, but we point out other people(regions, states, etc) who are,  with fun stories. and then offer our made up theories for why that is so?

almost zero people going back and forth actually understand what racism is, or its historical influence,  based on these comments.
 there is way more to racism then talking shit about neighbors, co workers and acquaintances, this thread is now just a huge circle jerk.

lol - you have to elaborate more if you are going to shit on everything everyone said and then offer up some weak definition...



 i said zero going back and forth. not sero in this thread.

sure ill tell you:  its years of institutionally making sure that one ethnic group doesn't get ahead and always has less then the reigning group. so to be honest most brown people don't give  damn what you think about us, or even say. but we care when you make sure  that we have less.

and before someone jumps up and claims they dont do that. perhaps you should research redlining, and other systematic slights


I don't even understand what point you are trying to say or make?

Are you claiming to have a superior understanding of racism just because our stories fall short of public lynchings? If so, I saw Obama speak in a park where they used to have KKK rallies. How many racism points do I win for that one?

and you i believe are just being flippantly obtuse for the hell of it

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2589 on: July 08, 2015, 09:57:28 AM »
This racism debate is wonderful, and I'm sure exactly why everyone reads this thread. Can we talk about gun control next?

/s

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2590 on: July 08, 2015, 09:57:43 AM »
I think most of us discuss what people say and the jokes they tell, because it can be a marker for whether or not someone is prejudiced. I.e. if you tell a racist joke, it's very, very unlikely that you don't harbor a deep seated view of certain people as lesser.

100% disagree.  I'll tell racist jokes all day long (what's black and doesn't work??*) because I find stereotypes to be funny.  But when it comes to things that actually matter, such as hiring people, giving them business, etc, I'm 100% colorblind.  I've hired and worked with/for/above black, white, brown, yellow, Jewish, female, etc.  Never had a problem with anyone, I think all of them would agree that I was 100% fair in all my dealings.  This is also why most people consider racism amongst the upper class in New England to be much worse than racism in the deep south.  If some poor white trash redneck calls a black man a n*****, what does that really do?  The redneck isn't any better off than the black man and holds pretty much zero power over him.  But if a wealthy northerner (BTW, I'm from New England) gives lip service to policital correctness and would never dream of using a racial slur, all while avoiding doing business with minorities, etc, THAT is where the real harm comes from.


*decaf coffee you racist ;)
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justajane

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2591 on: July 08, 2015, 10:13:29 AM »
This racism debate is wonderful, and I'm sure exactly why everyone reads this thread. Can we talk about gun control next?

/s

I agree. Let's move on to more flippant things. In other words, what this thread is meant for.

I will say that this underscores why I almost never talk about these things in the first place. Too bad, though -- not that discussion alone can solve our problems, but I'm not sure how trying to make commenters feel stupid (not you Beaker, I'm talking about vivaphoenix), especially when people are just sharing their experiences, helps matters either. 

justajane

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2592 on: July 08, 2015, 10:15:35 AM »
Has anybody mentioned an Irish Goodbye? I just learned that one.

A SAHD I know "checks in" on Facebook almost every day at a coffee shop or restaurant with his two kids. Photos of his coffee drink or food is often included. This is in between checking a pools, children's museums, etc. He must spend a fortune on food and entertainment for them during the day. As far as I know he's almost never with his wife - she must be putting in extra hours to pay for all this!

Minus the photos, I think that was my husband for a few years there!

Yeah, as a SAHM myself, I really get it, but I'm just overwhelmed by the volume of visits he posts on Facebook. It must really add up financially. I think the pools, museums, etc. are much more valuable than the food. I've tried to pack sandwiches and stuff to eliminate the temptation to eat out.

vivophoenix

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2593 on: July 08, 2015, 10:16:07 AM »
This racism debate is wonderful, and I'm sure exactly why everyone reads this thread. Can we talk about gun control next?

/s

I agree. Let's move on to more flippant things. In other words, what this thread is meant for.

I will say that this underscores why I almost never talk about these things in the first place. Too bad, though -- not that discussion alone can solve our problems, but I'm not sure how trying to make commenters feel stupid (not you Beaker, I'm talking about vivaphoenix), especially when people are just sharing their experiences, helps matters either.

youre right!

lets move onto more positive talk:  making fun of our friends, coworkers and family members behind their backs after they share  their experiences.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2594 on: July 08, 2015, 10:48:24 AM »
I feel fairly safe making a really sweeping generalization that racism is absolutely thriving in all rural areas of this country, regardless of region. The level of racism then recedes, roughly in correlation with increasing density of population, but is still present.
That is an absolutely pathetic statement with nothing to support it.

I agree it's definitely pathetic. And I'm pretty sure it's also true. Note that I didn't say that I think every individual in rural areas is racist, or that all people in cities aren't. I've lived rural areas, small cities, and large cities, in three different regions of the country (though not the South) and I think the country is making slow but steady progress. But I still think racism is thriving.

I was actually sort of defending the South, which gets a terrible rep. I think my home region (Midwest) is also very racist, but it is kept more on the down-low there because of socio-cultural expectations...Midwestern 'nice' and so on. My husband's from the West, and his impression is that it's thriving there, as well.

But if you have stats to make me less cynical, I'd be very happy to see them. I do tend to assume the worst when it comes to humanity LOL.

I wonder sometimes too.  I grew up in a rural area, and my area was all white.  Then I moved to the bigger town (pop 6000), and the school had one black kid and two Asians.  I never really considered the town terribly racist, but then, there weren't really other races.

Then I went back after living in bigger cities like Pittsburgh and DC.  And wow, yeah, the town really is racist, including many of my family members.  Who thought it was okay to use the "N" word, because they weren't referring to ALL black people just the bad ones.  WTF??

Of course now most of my interactions are via facebook, and many of my small town friends are constantly posting racist things - although now it's the "damn Mexicans".  And the thing is, there STILL aren't many (if any) Latinos in my home town (though we opened a Walmart, and there are actually black people!)  So, the only experience these people have with Latinos and their "taking our jobs" and "living on welfare" are what they hear on Fox News.  I posted something in response to our local paper - which had a racist photo/ comment about the illegals lining up to get drivers' licenses.  They showed a line at the DMV with a lot of Latinos.  One of my small town friends says "well it's true".  Newsflash, this CALIFORNIA.  We don't have a white majority - a good 45% of the people in this town are "brown" and they aren't illegal, they are American!!

Anyway, just another observation.

Maigahane

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2595 on: July 08, 2015, 10:53:06 AM »
On a similar note my coworker spent about $3.5k to fix the transmission in his 16 year old son's car a few months ago. I'm sitting here thinking a 16 year old shouldn't be driving a car worth that much. Then apparently the engine blew to the tune of another $6k! So in 6 months he's spent $9.5k to fix a 16 year old male's car. But they "know what to expect with it and if they bought a cheap $12k car it could break too".

Ummm...at the risk of sounding like I want younguns to get off my lawn, my first car was $1k and lasted through my older sister, me, and was then sold to a friend who could have kept it for years if he had listened when we told him the engine burned oil so keep an eye on it. Even if he had bought $1k cars and they only lasted a month each he'd still be ahead.

Another part of the problem with buying the kid a 'new' car; "he's 6'4" and needs a bigger vehicle". My dad is 6'4" and his cars have included an Escort, Metro, Prius, and Leaf. He was seriously considering an EV Smart instead of the Leaf but got mad at the dealership. This kid is driving an Escape so his 16 year old body doesn't have to bend down to get into a car

Oh, and this is the same guy who was complaining that our company mandates a 7% contribution into the retirement account....with a matching NINE PERCENT from them. But 7% is too much, "why save for tomorrow if you can't live today?"
Same guy:
"The ice maker in our fridge doesn't work anymore. If it's going to cost $200 to fix it we're just going to buy a new fridge"

I made a joke about how mine doesn't work either (no waterlines to the fridge in our house) but he didn't think it was funny.

But seriously, even if you buy ice (instead of ice cube trays like we did) how long would it take for a new fridge to cost less than what you paid for ice? Probably longer than the new fridge would last

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2596 on: July 08, 2015, 11:11:31 AM »

also shouldn't we attempt to view  racism from the eyes of the victims? not a series of 'thank god my husband escaped being a racist"  and ' this one time at band camp, these other white people said something racists to me' remarks?

im not painting everyone. im remarking to those who have said insensitive , ignorant things .

I was the victim in one of my stories. Did you see it from my eyes?


and you i believe are just being flippantly obtuse for the hell of it

No, not at all. I thought it was an amazing thing. First time I saw a President in real life which was really cool itself. He stood in the park where there used to be KKK rallies and gave a re-election speech.

In the 90's, 20/20 specifically did a special on the town and how they openly did not want black residents.

« Last Edit: July 08, 2015, 11:14:21 AM by HairyUpperLip »

justajane

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2597 on: July 08, 2015, 11:15:20 AM »
On a similar note my coworker spent about $3.5k to fix the transmission in his 16 year old son's car a few months ago. I'm sitting here thinking a 16 year old shouldn't be driving a car worth that much. Then apparently the engine blew to the tune of another $6k! So in 6 months he's spent $9.5k to fix a 16 year old male's car. But they "know what to expect with it and if they bought a cheap $12k car it could break too".

Ummm...at the risk of sounding like I want younguns to get off my lawn, my first car was $1k and lasted through my older sister, me, and was then sold to a friend who could have kept it for years if he had listened when we told him the engine burned oil so keep an eye on it. Even if he had bought $1k cars and they only lasted a month each he'd still be ahead.

Another part of the problem with buying the kid a 'new' car; "he's 6'4" and needs a bigger vehicle". My dad is 6'4" and his cars have included an Escort, Metro, Prius, and Leaf. He was seriously considering an EV Smart instead of the Leaf but got mad at the dealership. This kid is driving an Escape so his 16 year old body doesn't have to bend down to get into a car

Oh, and this is the same guy who was complaining that our company mandates a 7% contribution into the retirement account....with a matching NINE PERCENT from them. But 7% is too much, "why save for tomorrow if you can't live today?"
Same guy:
"The ice maker in our fridge doesn't work anymore. If it's going to cost $200 to fix it we're just going to buy a new fridge"

I made a joke about how mine doesn't work either (no waterlines to the fridge in our house) but he didn't think it was funny.

But seriously, even if you buy ice (instead of ice cube trays like we did) how long would it take for a new fridge to cost less than what you paid for ice? Probably longer than the new fridge would last

You'd be surprised how heated a discussion on the necessity/luxury of ice makers can be! Whole threads on here have been devoted to it, and you'll find those for whom you would have to pry their ice makers from their cold dead hands and those like me who intentionally disabled their ice maker to make room for more frozen stuff. With a little planning and a few ice trays, we rarely need to buy actual ice, which BTW has really gone up in price in the last decade. I'm guessing it's fuel cost associated?

I have to admit that sometimes I fall prey to the "if a repair costs X amount I'm buying a new one" logic. It's probably overestimating the cost of a repair, not being as DIY as I should, and underestimating the cost of buying new. I like MMM's focus on DIY and the wonders of youtube, because it really is true that you can find videos teaching you how to repair most anything. And learning how to repair a garbage disposal or washer or fridge will reap significant savings over the years.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2598 on: July 08, 2015, 02:59:14 PM »
Are you claiming to have a superior understanding of racism just because our stories fall short of public lynchings? If so, I saw Obama speak in a park where they used to have KKK rallies. How many racism points do I win for that one?

Are racism points tracked on the back of one of these race cards I've been hearing about?

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #2599 on: July 08, 2015, 08:14:31 PM »
Are you claiming to have a superior understanding of racism just because our stories fall short of public lynchings? If so, I saw Obama speak in a park where they used to have KKK rallies. How many racism points do I win for that one?

Are racism points tracked on the back of one of these race cards I've been hearing about?

Yes, tracked on the back like RBI's or PPG. Trading card style.