Author Topic: Overheard on Facebook  (Read 1772915 times)

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5650 on: December 12, 2016, 11:25:29 AM »
If you're going to use Facebook I highly recommend the Facebook Purity add in. It's free and totally cleans up all of the crap.
Seconded, except it's called "Fluff Busting Purity" for trademark reasons :)  No ads, no "sponsored" posts, and tons of ways you can customize (i.e. remove the junk) your feed.

frooglepoodle

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5651 on: December 12, 2016, 11:50:58 AM »
If you're going to use Facebook I highly recommend the Facebook Purity add in. It's free and totally cleans up all of the crap.
Seconded, except it's called "Fluff Busting Purity" for trademark reasons :)  No ads, no "sponsored" posts, and tons of ways you can customize (i.e. remove the junk) your feed.

Thank you for the suggestion! I could have used this leading up to the election.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5652 on: December 12, 2016, 11:57:36 AM »
I don't get it.. the ass one is insulting, but the other two?  Why would it be insulting that someone is looking for Chris?  Or is the point that by tagging them you are saying Chris is ugly? 

With This Herring

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5653 on: December 12, 2016, 12:15:24 PM »
Background for people who don't use Facebook:
Normally, tagging a picture with someone's name means that you are indicating the location of that person in that photo.  A picture of three people would be tagged with three names, one for each face.  You can only tag someone if one of you has accepted the other's "friend" request.  When you are tagged in a photo, a notification ends up on your Facebook dashboard (or whatever it is called), so normally getting a third party to tag a photo can be a good way to point out to tagged person that they appear in the photo/person who posted photo is looking for them.

I don't get it.. the ass one is insulting, but the other two?  Why would it be insulting that someone is looking for Chris?  Or is the point that by tagging them you are saying Chris is ugly?

The person who has posted the photo is implying both that the woman in the photo is ugly and that Chris is therefore ugly and/or looks like the opposite sex.

I feel bad for these people whose personal photographs end up as internet meme fodder.
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Paul der Krake

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5654 on: December 12, 2016, 03:13:48 PM »
Are y'all seriously explaining what memes are to someone with 5000+ posts whose avatar is a dragon having sex with a car?

merula

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5655 on: December 12, 2016, 03:24:30 PM »
Is there a way to have your avatar show as different things to different people? Because the dragon car has been replaced by 12 yellow posts-a-lot boxes for me.

Chris22

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5656 on: December 12, 2016, 03:36:06 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

MOD NOTE: Body shaming language does fall under the "Don't be a jerk" forum rules.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2016, 07:04:08 PM by swick »
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dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5657 on: December 12, 2016, 04:05:07 PM »
Are y'all seriously explaining what memes are to someone with 5000+ posts whose avatar is a dragon having sex with a car?

I didn't know that meme!  I'm not Facebook friends with that kinda crowd I guess

Is there a way to have your avatar show as different things to different people? Because the dragon car has been replaced by 12 yellow posts-a-lot boxes for me.

No, maybe a caching issue or he just remembers.  Does everyone miss the dragoon?  It's still in my sig I think

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5658 on: December 12, 2016, 05:35:45 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

How about we don't refer to people as fat chicks?

Lets refer to them as "g-dogs" MOD NOTE: Joking or not, context is not always clear on the internets, Let's try to keep this one one the more pleasant places on the interwebs, k?
« Last Edit: December 12, 2016, 07:06:57 PM by swick »

LeRainDrop

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5659 on: December 12, 2016, 06:29:26 PM »
Is there a way to have your avatar show as different things to different people? Because the dragon car has been replaced by 12 yellow posts-a-lot boxes for me.

No, maybe a caching issue or he just remembers.  Does everyone miss the dragoon?  It's still in my sig I think

Yes, I miss the dragon.  Your last yellow box, the one that's out of alignment, still makes me twitch.

gimp

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5660 on: December 12, 2016, 07:28:05 PM »
I can't be the only one here to think these are pretty funny.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5661 on: December 12, 2016, 08:44:39 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

How about we don't refer to people as fat chicks?

Lets refer to them as "g-dogs"

I know that's meant as funny, and usually you are hilarious. But this time it feels like you are just trying to be hurtful. Was that your point?

Are you not a person?

Chris22

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5662 on: December 12, 2016, 08:45:57 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

MOD NOTE: Body shaming language does fall under the "Don't be a jerk" forum rules.

Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.
"If I could get all the money back I ever spent on cars, I'd spend it on cars." - Nick Mason

nnls

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5663 on: December 12, 2016, 09:25:31 PM »
I can't be the only one here to think these are pretty funny.

One of the people who is featured in one of them pointed out how it can be pretty hurtful

http://www.sbs.com.au/topics/life/health/article/2016/12/13/when-meme-fires-back-i-wouldnt-wish-it-my-worst-enemy

Paul der Krake

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5664 on: December 12, 2016, 09:29:10 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

MOD NOTE: Body shaming language does fall under the "Don't be a jerk" forum rules.

Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.
You were moderated for the gratuitous insult. If you're going to criticize people for their lifestyle choices, it needs a broader articulated argument. The image you responded to didn't exactly invite a discussion of the merits of controlling one's diet.

Chris22

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5665 on: December 12, 2016, 09:35:05 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

MOD NOTE: Body shaming language does fall under the "Don't be a jerk" forum rules.

Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.
You were moderated for the gratuitous insult. If you're going to criticize people for their lifestyle choices, it needs a broader articulated argument. The image you responded to didn't exactly invite a discussion of the merits of controlling one's diet.

That's a laugh. Broader articulated argument?  On here?  Sure. They're playing favorites and enforcing extremely selectively. Own it.
"If I could get all the money back I ever spent on cars, I'd spend it on cars." - Nick Mason

LeRainDrop

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5666 on: December 12, 2016, 09:46:17 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

MOD NOTE: Body shaming language does fall under the "Don't be a jerk" forum rules.

Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.
You were moderated for the gratuitous insult. If you're going to criticize people for their lifestyle choices, it needs a broader articulated argument. The image you responded to didn't exactly invite a discussion of the merits of controlling one's diet.

That's a laugh. Broader articulated argument?  On here?  Sure. They're playing favorites and enforcing extremely selectively. Own it.

This subforum, "Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy," is about laughing at people's poor financial decisions, but I don't believe it is about laughing at their body shape, weight, or physical attractiveness.  Is this distinction not obvious?

Chris22

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5667 on: December 12, 2016, 09:48:06 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

MOD NOTE: Body shaming language does fall under the "Don't be a jerk" forum rules.

Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.
You were moderated for the gratuitous insult. If you're going to criticize people for their lifestyle choices, it needs a broader articulated argument. The image you responded to didn't exactly invite a discussion of the merits of controlling one's diet.

That's a laugh. Broader articulated argument?  On here?  Sure. They're playing favorites and enforcing extremely selectively. Own it.

This subforum, "Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy," is about laughing at people's poor financial decisions, but I don't believe it is about laughing at their body shape, weight, or physical attractiveness.  Is this distinction not obvious?

It's about ridiculing and passing judgement. Let's not pretend one is noble and one offensive.
"If I could get all the money back I ever spent on cars, I'd spend it on cars." - Nick Mason

swick

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5668 on: December 12, 2016, 09:51:02 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

MOD NOTE: Body shaming language does fall under the "Don't be a jerk" forum rules.

Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.
You were moderated for the gratuitous insult. If you're going to criticize people for their lifestyle choices, it needs a broader articulated argument. The image you responded to didn't exactly invite a discussion of the merits of controlling one's diet.

That's a laugh. Broader articulated argument?  On here?  Sure. They're playing favorites and enforcing extremely selectively. Own it.

MOD NOTE: It's not a matter of playing favorites. You get reported by several people, we take a look and see if the conversation does anything to add to the community (this whole little offshoot doesn't) so under our very few rules, that we do keep rather loose, you were being a jerk. Now you're being a straight up ass and I'm also going to own the fact that I'm about to issue you a temporary ban, again, as per our forum rules. If you don't like the moderating style, you don't have to be here.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5669 on: December 12, 2016, 09:56:50 PM »
I'm here, what's the fat chick want?

MOD NOTE: Body shaming language does fall under the "Don't be a jerk" forum rules.

Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.
You were moderated for the gratuitous insult. If you're going to criticize people for their lifestyle choices, it needs a broader articulated argument. The image you responded to didn't exactly invite a discussion of the merits of controlling one's diet.

That's a laugh. Broader articulated argument?  On here?  Sure. They're playing favorites and enforcing extremely selectively. Own it.

This subforum, "Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy," is about laughing at people's poor financial decisions, but I don't believe it is about laughing at their body shape, weight, or physical attractiveness.  Is this distinction not obvious?

I think it should be fine to give out face punches for being unfit in this forum, and I'll take mine just as I take my financial face punches.  But of course we give these face punches out of love, right?

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Physical fitness may sound rather different than financial independence, but its actually the same thing it is control over your mind, which means it is part of Mustachianism. Because I care for you, I must ensure that you end up healthy and fit just as I must ensure that you become wealthy at a young age.
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gimp

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5670 on: December 12, 2016, 10:03:45 PM »
Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.

Yeah, I gotta agree here. "Facepunches" and such.

I love how on this forum, we can mock those who spend into catastrophe, but not those who eat into catastrophe. Obviously they're so different, not both basic elements of self control.

swick

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5671 on: December 12, 2016, 10:22:31 PM »
Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.

Yeah, I gotta agree here. "Facepunches" and such.

I love how on this forum, we can mock those who spend into catastrophe, but not those who eat into catastrophe. Obviously they're so different, not both basic elements of self control.

Mod Hat: There are a whole host of reasons that people are bigger that have nothing to do with eating unhealthy. There are people with hormonal imbalances and other medical issues that are metabolically healthier than many skinny people. If you think it is always all about self-control then you should educate yourself to some of the other issues that may play a role.

There are memes being shared of people who probably didn't give their permission to be used, I highly doubt they signed a model release.

There are memes on this thread of people who have physical issues that have nothing to do with their self-control as well.

The bottom line is there is enough of that crap everywhere else, we don't need it here. It does NOTHING for our community, and we are drawing slightly firmer lines after all the crap that has happened on the forums in the wake of the US elections. The bottom line is we wish to maintain a certain amount of human decency, which unfortunately is in short supply these days.


dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5672 on: December 12, 2016, 10:38:16 PM »
Oh please, MMM is all about shaming people and such. This whole section of the forum is about shaming people. Spare me the sanctimonious bullshit.

Yeah, I gotta agree here. "Facepunches" and such.

I love how on this forum, we can mock those who spend into catastrophe, but not those who eat into catastrophe. Obviously they're so different, not both basic elements of self control.

Mod Hat: There are a whole host of reasons that people are bigger that have nothing to do with eating unhealthy. There are people with hormonal imbalances and other medical issues that are metabolically healthier than many skinny people. If you think it is always all about self-control then you should educate yourself to some of the other issues that may play a role.

I'm sure quite a few of the people we've made fun of here have serious mental illness that causes their ridiculous spending, but it apparently gets a pass despite the fact that they do not give their permission to be made fun of.

Quote
There are memes being shared of people who probably didn't give their permission to be used, I highly doubt they signed a model release.


Laywer hat: A model release is irrelvant

Quote
There are memes on this thread of people who have physical issues that have nothing to do with their self-control as well.

Those are just examples of terrible memes, the poster was not advocating their use, quite the opposite

Quote
The bottom line is there is enough of that crap everywhere else, we don't need it here. It does NOTHING for our community, and we are drawing slightly firmer lines after all the crap that has happened on the forums in the wake of the US elections. The bottom line is we wish to maintain a certain amount of human decency, which unfortunately is in short supply these days.

OK, as long as you admit that you are changing standards from the previous status quo.  I suggest you lock the entire Hall of Shame if you don't want us making fun of people.

englyn

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5673 on: December 12, 2016, 10:44:39 PM »
Making fun of behaviour is what we're usually doing here.
You can mock people's spending habits, but mocking someone's mental illness directly would be being a jerk.
You could possibly mock people's eating habits, but mocking someone's appearance is being a jerk.
No standards change involved.

HappierAtHome

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5674 on: December 12, 2016, 10:45:56 PM »
That's a laugh. Broader articulated argument?  On here?  Sure. They're playing favorites and enforcing extremely selectively. Own it.

If you see something that you believe isn't in the spirit of the forums, hit the 'report to moderator' button and write in an explanation of why you think it's an issue. It's that simple, and it's much more useful than complaining that you think the moderating is unfair or unbalanced. It takes ten seconds, and it means you're part of the solution rather than part of the problem.

Making fun of behaviour is what we're usually doing here.
You can mock people's spending habits, but mocking someone's mental illness directly would be being a jerk.
You could possibly mock people's eating habits, but mocking someone's appearance is being a jerk.
No standards change involved.

+1

swick

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5675 on: December 12, 2016, 10:53:15 PM »

OK, as long as you admit that you are changing standards from the previous status quo.  I suggest you lock the entire Hall of Shame if you don't want us making fun of people.

Mod hat: There have been discussions on doing that. We mods are a rather pragmatic bunch, and have always felt that for the most part the people in this community are pretty good at moderating themselves, knowing what is and isn't appropriate, what adds to the community and what doesn't. Things have changed, it could be a variety of things. The community has grown substantially larger, there is just a lack of common courtesy these days, who knows?

Things need to be examined, so the questions I would put forth to you is what do you see this community being? What is your vision for it? (which should be a separate thread) Feel free to start one if you feel like responding.

gimp

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5676 on: December 12, 2016, 11:03:41 PM »
Mod Hat: There are a whole host of reasons that people are bigger that have nothing to do with eating unhealthy. There are people with hormonal imbalances and other medical issues that are metabolically healthier than many skinny people. If you think it is always all about self-control then you should educate yourself to some of the other issues that may play a role.

There are a whole host of reasons that people spend too much money and end up broke that have nothing to do with spending self control. There are people with sick children, sick parents, people who lose their job and can't find work for a very long time, and can still be more frugal than people with good savings. If you think it is always about self-control then you should educate yourself to some of the other issues that may play a role.

If you think this is a strawman, peruse this forum. You see tons of people mocking poor people for being poor. Saying it's due to their life choices. Sure, there's some push back, but you don't have mods editing posts saying that those on welfare are mooches. Why not?



Or if that's still not too on the nose for you - the overwhelming majority do not have thyroid conditions. The natural metabolic rates of adults vary at most by about 200 kcal per day. The idea of "fat and healthy" does not exist. Being skinny doesn't make you magically healthy, but I guarantee you that the vast majority of healthy weight adults in first world countries are significantly healthier than the vast majority of the overweight, who are in turn significantly healthier than the obese.

To make excuses for one group, while mocking the other, is hypocrisy. You're an intelligent fellow, you know it's true. I get that you're trying to be nice, but this is an entire forum dedicated to mocking the life choices of other people.

Let's make it cleaner cut.

If you know someone who is in debt due to poor spending habits, and they buy a new TV for christmas, do you mock them?
If you know someone who is obese due to poor eating habits, and they eat two cheeseburgers for lunch every day, do you mock them?
« Last Edit: December 12, 2016, 11:06:59 PM by gimp »

swick

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5677 on: December 12, 2016, 11:31:17 PM »
Mod Hat: There are a whole host of reasons that people are bigger that have nothing to do with eating unhealthy. There are people with hormonal imbalances and other medical issues that are metabolically healthier than many skinny people. If you think it is always all about self-control then you should educate yourself to some of the other issues that may play a role.

There are a whole host of reasons that people spend too much money and end up broke that have nothing to do with spending self control. There are people with sick children, sick parents, people who lose their job and can't find work for a very long time, and can still be more frugal than people with good savings. If you think it is always about self-control then you should educate yourself to some of the other issues that may play a role.

If you think this is a strawman, peruse this forum. You see tons of people mocking poor people for being poor. Saying it's due to their life choices. Sure, there's some push back, but you don't have mods editing posts saying that those on welfare are mooches. Why not?


Or if that's still not too on the nose for you - the overwhelming majority do not have thyroid conditions. The natural metabolic rates of adults vary at most by about 200 kcal per day. The idea of "fat and healthy" does not exist. Being skinny doesn't make you magically healthy, but I guarantee you that the vast majority of healthy weight adults in first world countries are significantly healthier than the vast majority of the overweight, who are in turn significantly healthier than the obese.

To make excuses for one group, while mocking the other, is hypocrisy. You're an intelligent fellow, you know it's true. I get that you're trying to be nice, but this is an entire forum dedicated to mocking the life choices of other people.

Let's make it cleaner cut.

If you know someone who is in debt due to poor spending habits, and they buy a new TV for christmas, do you mock them?
If you know someone who is obese due to poor eating habits, and they eat two cheeseburgers for lunch every day, do you mock them?

You're  both trying to make this personal and make sweeping generalizations. If people are mocking others for being poor and it is reported we will take a look at it. There are 3 active, VOLUNTEER Mods, who quite frankly have better things to do than to police grown adults. We can't be everywhere and don't want to be spending all of our time on the forums with heavy-handed moderating. We've always tried to take a light hand in moderating and let people work out their own issues when they can. Our work load has increased dramatically, so perhaps it is time to evolve or redefine what is acceptable and make it less ambiguous.

I never made the claim that I think fat = healthy, just that there is more to consider than self-control, as it is with the poor people you described. 

This sub-forum maybe called Shame and Comedy but if it is only about people making fun of each other, then yeah it should probably be shut down.

In the beginning, it was tongue in cheek, people poked light fun at others and themselves, or used wider media examples to spark interesting, engaging and educational conversations. If It is no longer doing any of that and has become an arena for mud-slinging, then maybe it does need to be reconsidered.

But I will answer your questions for you, since you made them so clean cut.

The answer to both is no. I personally don't think mockery does much. It doesn't help them, it doesn't make me feel better, it doesn't get us asking or searching for the deeper "why." I won't say that I have never done it, but I'd like to think I'm learning and growing as a person and finding less insecurity in myself that needs to hide behind mocking someone else.

« Last Edit: December 13, 2016, 12:01:04 AM by swick »

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5678 on: December 13, 2016, 12:24:53 AM »

OK, as long as you admit that you are changing standards from the previous status quo.  I suggest you lock the entire Hall of Shame if you don't want us making fun of people.

Mod hat: There have been discussions on doing that. We mods are a rather pragmatic bunch, and have always felt that for the most part the people in this community are pretty good at moderating themselves, knowing what is and isn't appropriate, what adds to the community and what doesn't. Things have changed, it could be a variety of things. The community has grown substantially larger, there is just a lack of common courtesy these days, who knows?

Things need to be examined, so the questions I would put forth to you is what do you see this community being? What is your vision for it? (which should be a separate thread) Feel free to start one if you feel like responding.

I haven't seen a huge change in the community, but maybe that's because I don't read all the posts anymore.  Maybe you should just put a trigger warning on the entire Hall of Shame and go back to those better things you have to do.  I'll happily volunteer to meta-moderate and reverse some of the capricious moderation I've seen.

I agree personal attacks between forum members should be discouraged, but honestly mocking real life people, personally known by a forum member, is the bread and butter of this very thread. 

Your suggestion that we flag such rampant financial mockery is equivalent to saying "oh yeah, we lowered Jill's pay because she's a female but feel free to flag any male coworkers and we'll lower their pay too."  Gimp isn't asking for equal heavyhandedness in moderation, but equal lighthandedness.

Or if you prefer separate but equal, we can start a separate thread "Overheard at the Dairy Queen"

edit: I think you are right that the Hall started out more broadly mocking articles and consumerist ideals in general (e.g. commercials and such) so maybe I can see where you are thinking the character has gotten more sinister/catty

Just to be clear, is it now the official moderator position that nobody on the MMM forum is allowed to refer to anybody (real or imaginary) as "fat," a "chick," or god forbid both?

Making fun of behaviour is what we're usually doing here.
You can mock people's spending habits, but mocking someone's mental illness directly would be being a jerk.
You could possibly mock people's eating habits, but mocking someone's appearance is being a jerk.
No standards change involved.

First, swick explicitly said the mods are changing the standards: "we are drawing slightly firmer lines"

Second, this is a straw man since nobody mocked anybody's appearance at all, unless as above "fat chick" is a mockery.

But then, by your standard, it would be fine to mock "the woman with poor eating habits that led to her obesity"?

And no illness can make you fat if you don't eat too much.  Illness can make it harder to eat less, but it can't magically add fat to your frame.  Thus, anyone who is fat has a willpower problem, even if it's an excusable one.  Again, I say this as a person with an occasional willpower problem.
« Last Edit: December 13, 2016, 01:11:41 AM by dragoncar »

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5679 on: December 13, 2016, 01:26:57 AM »
The point for me is that the anti-mustachian mocking is done with anonymised targets.  Those "memes" are bullying identifiable people.
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dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5680 on: December 13, 2016, 01:37:16 AM »
The point for me is that the anti-mustachian mocking is done with anonymised targets.  Those "memes" are bullying identifiable people.

I think everyone here agrees that those "memes" are stupid.  Chris22 seemed to be making a joke based on the fact that his name happens to be mentioned in the image, and apparently broke the "no calling people fat" rule.  But calling an anonymous fat person fat, without them being a reader of the forum, is not bullying, and although the person is identifiable in the broadest sense, they are not actually identified (nor can they be easily identified).

Anyways, here's a real meme:


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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5681 on: December 13, 2016, 01:43:31 AM »
The point for me is that the anti-mustachian mocking is done with anonymised targets.  Those "memes" are bullying identifiable people.

I think everyone here agrees that those "memes" are stupid.  Chris22 seemed to be making a joke based on the fact that his name happens to be mentioned in the image, and apparently broke the "no calling people fat" rule.  But calling an anonymous fat person fat, without them being a reader of the forum, is not bullying, and although the person is identifiable in the broadest sense, they are not actually identified (nor can they be easily identified).

Anyways, here's a real meme:


In the context, having your picture shared around the internet without your permission for other people to laugh at or be cruel about (and those memes have no other purpose than to put down the person pictured, presumably for the purpose of making the sender and recipient feel superior) is bullying.
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dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5682 on: December 13, 2016, 01:44:23 AM »
Here's a spicy new financial meme, hot off the presses:


LeRainDrop

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5683 on: December 13, 2016, 03:04:05 AM »
Dragoncar, is being able to call someone, who most likely did not consent to having her image used in this manner, a "fat chick" as important to you at it seems?  Can you not see how mean that is?  That joking about it sends a message of intolerance/ridicule to many other members of this forum?  And that it does not foster the community environment that the forum rules contemplate?

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5684 on: December 13, 2016, 04:31:55 AM »

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5685 on: December 13, 2016, 04:46:07 AM »
Dragoncar, is being able to call someone, who most likely did not consent to having her image used in this manner, a "fat chick" as important to you at it seems?  Can you not see how mean that is?  That joking about it sends a message of intolerance/ridicule to many other members of this forum?  And that it does not foster the community environment that the forum rules contemplate?

It's important to me to be able to use benign descriptions without worrying about being banned, so I want to get these things straight.  I've never thought "fat chick" would be any more intolerant than "black dude," "short kid," or any other purely descriptive language.  Although I wasn't the one who used the phrase originally, I'm genuinely confused how it could get multiple reports and I'll certainly reconsider using it in the future.

I think there's a big difference between ridiculing someone and simply describing them as fat.  I mean, it's hardly a clinical term like obese, but neither is it necessarily derogatory. 

I'm still waiting on an answer as to whether "overeating person" would have been OK?  Or is it just not OK to talk about weight at all?  Are we living in a post-weight world?

I am sympathetic that perhaps this person would wander into the forum and feel bad that Chris called her a fat chick, but if I saw my photo on the web and described as a fat dude, I wouldn't cry about it.  It might motivate me to lose some weight.  However, I find it highly unlikely that the photo subject would find this image here.  Not more likely than anyone else mentioned in this thread who were called "stupid," "idiot" and so on.  How do you feel about posts describing identifiable people with a linked GoFundMe as "pig humans"?

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5686 on: December 13, 2016, 05:55:53 AM »
Dragoncar, it's the context which makes it derogatory.

To a certain extent I agree with you that "fat" as a descriptor is different from other terms which can be used to hurt and discriminate, such as those relating to colour, sex/gender, age, and so on.  But it is relatively recently in human society, and still not universal, that sexual preference is protected by being put in an "inherent" category rather than the "personal choice" category, and evidence is now available that fat is less of a choice and more inherent than might have been thought, although obviously behavioural choices do play into it as well as nature, nuture, culture and biology.   That means that I'm not sure I could make the judgement for any single individual where the point is that I would feel comfortable assigning personal blame for weight issues.  And participating in bullying another person, whether or not I know them in person or on line, and whether or not I know the extent to which it might have a personal effect on that person, is something with which I would be very uncomfortable.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5687 on: December 13, 2016, 07:18:36 AM »
Political correctness has run amok.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5688 on: December 13, 2016, 07:30:10 AM »
Political correctness has run amok.
Unfortunately, good manners haven't.
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onlykelsey

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5689 on: December 13, 2016, 07:32:28 AM »
Political correctness has run amok.
Unfortunately, good manners haven't.

Right? I don't see how refraining from calling someone a "fat chick" has anything to do with political correctness.  I think I learned that in preschool. 

marcela

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5690 on: December 13, 2016, 07:34:58 AM »
Political correctness has run amok.
Unfortunately, good manners haven't.

Right? I don't see how refraining from calling someone a "fat chick" has anything to do with political correctness.  I think I learned that in preschool.
Thank you! This is what bothers me about people complaining about political correctness. It comes down to just being nice and having manners.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5691 on: December 13, 2016, 08:04:22 AM »
Dragoncar, is being able to call someone, who most likely did not consent to having her image used in this manner, a "fat chick" as important to you at it seems?  Can you not see how mean that is?  That joking about it sends a message of intolerance/ridicule to many other members of this forum?  And that it does not foster the community environment that the forum rules contemplate?

It's important to me to be able to use benign descriptions without worrying about being banned, so I want to get these things straight.  I've never thought "fat chick" would be any more intolerant than "black dude," "short kid," or any other purely descriptive language.  Although I wasn't the one who used the phrase originally, I'm genuinely confused how it could get multiple reports and I'll certainly reconsider using it in the future.

DragonCar, Chris22 wasn't temporarily banned because he used "benign descriptors" He has been warned previously in several threads about his tone, or making personal attacks. He has been temporarily banned previously after multiple warnings.

Usually, all it takes is a quick strike through or a gentle reminder to people when they break the rules. Sometimes people get excited, sometimes are having a bad day or sometimes you fail convey the right tone on the internets. You are not going to be banned for that. If you repeatedly break the rules and are argumentative then you will.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5692 on: December 13, 2016, 08:16:43 AM »
I'm with dragoncar.  I definitely think there are some over-sensitive members on this forum.

Are y'all seriously explaining what memes are to someone with 5000+ posts whose avatar is a dragon having sex with a car?

Haha.


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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5693 on: December 13, 2016, 08:22:20 AM »
I'm always amazed on blackfriday and the posts I see. Yes, the spending for sure as some of my fb friends wil proudly show mounds and mounds of bags that they got "cheap" in the back of their suburban, but just the craziness of lines, rude people, parking issues etc. that I see posted are enough to keep me at home.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5694 on: December 13, 2016, 08:35:36 AM »
I guess it's high time i go on Facebook and find something to rescue this thread from all this crap...

Ok, found a friend that posted a meme with a woman face palming and captioned "when you want to buy all your family and friends gifts, but you only have like $3"

Unfortunately (fortunately, actually) that's the best i can do, everyone on my Facebook is keeping their anti-mustachian ways at bay for the moment


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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5695 on: December 13, 2016, 09:38:55 AM »
How about that secret sister gift exchange thing going around on facebook. You post on your wall and you only have to send 1 item (I've seen books and bottles of wine) and in return you will get between 6 and 36 items in return.

A friend posted it and I asked how if every person only sends 1 gift out, you get more back than the number of people participating. She never responded, but the post was deleted.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5696 on: December 13, 2016, 09:40:37 AM »
How about that secret sister gift exchange thing going around on facebook. You post on your wall and you only have to send 1 item (I've seen books and bottles of wine) and in return you will get between 6 and 36 items in return.

A friend posted it and I asked how if every person only sends 1 gift out, you get more back than the number of people participating. She never responded, but the post was deleted.
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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5697 on: December 13, 2016, 09:41:33 AM »
I want to add a big thank you to the moderators for the tough job you do balancing the freedom of ideas around here with keeping this a respectful and safe space online. There is so much ugliness out there and it means a lot to me that I can come here for intelligent exchange of ideas. Keeping that expectation of mutual respect is hugely important to the value this community brings to me.
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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5698 on: December 13, 2016, 10:00:12 AM »
How about that secret sister gift exchange thing going around on facebook. You post on your wall and you only have to send 1 item (I've seen books and bottles of wine) and in return you will get between 6 and 36 items in return.

A friend posted it and I asked how if every person only sends 1 gift out, you get more back than the number of people participating. She never responded, but the post was deleted.
Secret Santa Pyramid Scheme.  Key is to get in early.

Yeah I participated in one, it was for books. I didn't really care to advertise it, but don't mind spending $8 to send a great book to someone I know every once in a while.

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #5699 on: December 13, 2016, 10:28:26 AM »
Some people have claimed not to know what memes are, so in defense of nice and fun memes, some are simply light-hearted phrases, example: