Author Topic: Overheard on Facebook  (Read 3173078 times)

Zikoris

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #650 on: August 09, 2014, 07:30:10 PM »
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Question:  Is Facebook anything other than a way to brag?  I don't use it, but it seems as if conspicuous consumption is the order of the day and everything becomes very competitive on Facebook. 

I use it as a convenient way to organize my photos, since we travel a lot and have a ton. I guess that would sort of be bragging though in a sense. It gives me an easy way to look up specific photos quickly, and people tell me they really enjoy them - I post photos every day or two as insurance against losing/wrecking my camera, and they tell me it feels like they're on the trip with me. I have a few friends who travel, and we all like looking at each other's latest photos.

I think "checking in" at restaurants and other places is a little ridiculous, but I couldn't do that anyway since I don't have a smartphone!

Bobberth

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #651 on: August 13, 2014, 08:46:11 AM »
High school classmate: "Freaking luck is just shitty..power was shut off today cause I was one day late paying it. Now I need to find $300 so they will turn it back on.. Don't get paid til Friday but can't go without that long..anybody wanna help out. Will get paid back Friday!!!!!!"

His brother: "Sorry bro. You know I can't help but would if I could"

Friend I don't know: "We don't have any $$, but we have hot food and water. We'll feed ya, and you can shower at our house. (Potato soup for dinner tonight)"

$300 seems like such a tiny amount of money to have on standby, either in cash or checking account if not in actual savings. 

dandarc

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #652 on: August 13, 2014, 08:53:12 AM »
High school classmate: "Freaking luck is just shitty..power was shut off today cause I was one day late paying it. Now I need to find $300 so they will turn it back on.. Don't get paid til Friday but can't go without that long..anybody wanna help out. Will get paid back Friday!!!!!!"

His brother: "Sorry bro. You know I can't help but would if I could"

Friend I don't know: "We don't have any $$, but we have hot food and water. We'll feed ya, and you can shower at our house. (Potato soup for dinner tonight)"

$300 seems like such a tiny amount of money to have on standby, either in cash or checking account if not in actual savings.

A lot of people live that close to the edge - many more by choice (whether they realize it or not) than by necessity. 

Thought I was going to have to make deposits on my utility account when we moved to a new house - turns out since I have perfect credit with them for ~5 years, they wave that.  Apparently so many people do not have perfect credit on the utilities that they don't even mention on the website or any published materials that I've found that they will wave deposits in certain circumstances until you talk to them.  Pleasant surprise for me, but eye-opening as well.

dandarc

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #653 on: August 13, 2014, 09:04:14 AM »
Wait, utilities in some places require deposits?

They do here - granted this is a college town, but when I first moved here I was pretty surprised too.

Tempe

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #654 on: August 13, 2014, 09:34:03 AM »
Wait, utilities in some places require deposits?

They do here - granted this is a college town, but when I first moved here I was pretty surprised too.
My bf had to pay deposits on utilities, they may or may not have had me do it since my credit is decent, but his was low. It was one of those expenses in moving we didn't anticipate. (I guess we were lucky moving into an apartment with a deal of no deposit on it)

Zikoris

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #655 on: August 13, 2014, 10:29:06 AM »
High school classmate: "Freaking luck is just shitty..power was shut off today cause I was one day late paying it. Now I need to find $300 so they will turn it back on.. Don't get paid til Friday but can't go without that long..anybody wanna help out. Will get paid back Friday!!!!!!"

His brother: "Sorry bro. You know I can't help but would if I could"

Friend I don't know: "We don't have any $$, but we have hot food and water. We'll feed ya, and you can shower at our house. (Potato soup for dinner tonight)"

$300 seems like such a tiny amount of money to have on standby, either in cash or checking account if not in actual savings.

I think there's more to the story than he's letting on - there aren't very many utility companies that go around shutting people off for being one day late. Heck, I imagine it takes a couple of days just to put in the order - and I've heard you can generally miss a few payments before they actually move from threatening letters and phone calls to cutting you off.

More likely he was already super behind on his bill, about to get cut off, promised to make a payment to delay them, then backed out.

dandarc

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #656 on: August 13, 2014, 11:10:53 AM »
High school classmate: "Freaking luck is just shitty..power was shut off today cause I was one day late paying it. Now I need to find $300 so they will turn it back on.. Don't get paid til Friday but can't go without that long..anybody wanna help out. Will get paid back Friday!!!!!!"

His brother: "Sorry bro. You know I can't help but would if I could"

Friend I don't know: "We don't have any $$, but we have hot food and water. We'll feed ya, and you can shower at our house. (Potato soup for dinner tonight)"

$300 seems like such a tiny amount of money to have on standby, either in cash or checking account if not in actual savings.

I think there's more to the story than he's letting on - there aren't very many utility companies that go around shutting people off for being one day late. Heck, I imagine it takes a couple of days just to put in the order - and I've heard you can generally miss a few payments before they actually move from threatening letters and phone calls to cutting you off.

More likely he was already super behind on his bill, about to get cut off, promised to make a payment to delay them, then backed out.
This - I bet the guy needed $300 just to get back to 3 months behind or whatever.  Utility companies are usually reasonably compassionate when it comes to collections - they are providing heat and water and such after all.

dandarc

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #657 on: August 13, 2014, 11:14:54 AM »
Ongoing drama of a couple we're friends with, mostly kept off facebook but told to me...since I'm an accountant I guess *shrugs*

On the outside they seem to spend reasonably. They rent a reasonable house, own late 90's to early 2000's vehicles, their house is not opulently furnished and they don't wear a bunch of name brand expensive clothes.
But they say they can't keep up with bills and don't know why. After expenses they should have $600 left over each month from his first job, not to mention his second job and her new part time job
Soon after she starts her job she posts on FB that she deserves a trip to Vegas (has not actually happened though)
Also posts that she needs a bigger "mommymobile"... because apparently a minivan isn't big enough for 2 toddlers
While out to lunch with him one day he tells me that they finally decided to file bankruptcy because he got served by a sheriff that morning
Says they couldn't follow Dave Ramsey's plan because they couldn't even keep up with minimum payments
Continue to go out to eat somewhat regularly (not like every day, but every week or two to semi-nice places)
A couple of months later he quits his second job
Now about a month later they have bought a 2011 suv...with a $500/month payment for SIX years...not to mention the jump in insurance. Was told that the bank wanted them to get the 36 month warranty so they got it

These are great people that we enjoy hanging around with but it just makes me so frustrated when money is brought up around them.
Part two:
About a month ago they bought another "new" car, a 2009. Last weekend the guy mentioned refinancing their cars twice; first time to say that instead of refinancing his next year they'll probably just trade it in because they didn't end up liking it much, second to mention refinancing her SUV so they're not paying 18% interest.
Granted it sounds like they may have had to replace both of their old cars by now anyway, the van isn't running and his car was on it's last legs but still...
So we've found the problem - while the math should work where they have some surplus (at least before the job quitting and such), it doesn't because they are not actually doing it.

madgeylou

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #658 on: August 13, 2014, 11:38:18 AM »
One of my FB friends is upset that the water company turns off your water based on how long you've owed them rather than how much. so she only owed $50 but she owed it for a few months.

Fingers were tempted to type "if it's only $50 then why did it take you months to pay them?" but brain declined the drama.

Travis

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #659 on: August 13, 2014, 12:15:25 PM »
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but brain declined the drama.

Which keeps me from saying half the things that come to mind when reading Facebook posts.

boyerbt

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #660 on: August 13, 2014, 12:31:30 PM »
So I have read a lot of different posts on this thread and finally have one. I have heard of people purchasing events or activities while the new couple is on their honeymoon in lue of giving a wedding gift but I feel like this is too much. The items on their list are $50 increments to pay for their flights, dinners, and they even have a section for alcohol. Seriously?


"So we finally booked our honeymoon! Can't wait to explore what Europe has to offer with my amazing soon to be wife. If any of you are as excited as I am and would like to live vicariously through us, check out this link. But seriously, we appreciate anything to help make this trip as wonderful and adventurous as we hope it to be. ~ Dick and Jane

Jane & Dick's Honeymoon Registry
--
So far, the plan for this trip is to explore a little piece of what Europe has to offer. We'll be staying in Paris, Rome, and a 3rd TBD city. We want to be able to make the most out of our first week as husband and wife. Jeremy and I are so excited to be able to have this opportunity to do something we have really come to enjoy - exploring new cities. We're hoping to really take in all of the sights in the short time we're there. A trip to the Eiffel Tower. Espresso in a small cafe. Wine in Italy. Exploring the history, architecture, and beauty. But most importantly, we'll be enjoying the time with each other. "
« Last Edit: August 13, 2014, 12:36:39 PM by boyerbt »

odput

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #661 on: August 13, 2014, 12:32:49 PM »
Quote
but brain declined the drama.

Which keeps me from saying half the things that come to mind when reading Facebook posts.

Only half?

Mine is more like 99%

Travis

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #662 on: August 13, 2014, 12:58:31 PM »
Quote
but brain declined the drama.

Which keeps me from saying half the things that come to mind when reading Facebook posts.

Only half?

Mine is more like 99%

I'm picky about who I keep as a Facebook friend. Most of my forehead smacking is from "friend of friends."

dandarc

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #663 on: August 13, 2014, 01:18:27 PM »
So I have read a lot of different posts on this thread and finally have one. I have heard of people purchasing events or activities while the new couple is on their honeymoon in lue of giving a wedding gift but I feel like this is too much. The items on their list are $50 increments to pay for their flights, dinners, and they even have a section for alcohol. Seriously?


"So we finally booked our honeymoon! Can't wait to explore what Europe has to offer with my amazing soon to be wife. If any of you are as excited as I am and would like to live vicariously through us, check out this link. But seriously, we appreciate anything to help make this trip as wonderful and adventurous as we hope it to be. ~ Dick and Jane

Jane & Dick's Honeymoon Registry
--
So far, the plan for this trip is to explore a little piece of what Europe has to offer. We'll be staying in Paris, Rome, and a 3rd TBD city. We want to be able to make the most out of our first week as husband and wife. Jeremy and I are so excited to be able to have this opportunity to do something we have really come to enjoy - exploring new cities. We're hoping to really take in all of the sights in the short time we're there. A trip to the Eiffel Tower. Espresso in a small cafe. Wine in Italy. Exploring the history, architecture, and beauty. But most importantly, we'll be enjoying the time with each other. "
I think a lot of people think this is a little less uncouth than straight up asking for money where the 'gift registry' should be.  I know my wife's mom would've flipped out if we had done anything remotely like asking for money . . . but of course expensive plates from the overpriced 'gift shop' in town are perfectly fine.

We went to a wedding in Atlanta where the couple were a slightly younger version of us - they had the temerity to straight up ask for cash by explaining "we already have everything we need because we're, you know, adults, but if you want to give us something money is always appreciated and will be put to good use."  Respected them more for being honest.  I usually give cash to the bride and groom any way - it is a lot easier and always appreciated.

boyerbt

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #664 on: August 13, 2014, 01:51:29 PM »
I think a lot of people think this is a little less uncouth than straight up asking for money where the 'gift registry' should be.  I know my wife's mom would've flipped out if we had done anything remotely like asking for money . . . but of course expensive plates from the overpriced 'gift shop' in town are perfectly fine.

We went to a wedding in Atlanta where the couple were a slightly younger version of us - they had the temerity to straight up ask for cash by explaining "we already have everything we need because we're, you know, adults, but if you want to give us something money is always appreciated and will be put to good use."  Respected them more for being honest.  I usually give cash to the bride and groom any way - it is a lot easier and always appreciated.

I would feel more comfortable if they had been upfront and requested cash as I know that they do not need the items that are listed on their normal registry (yes they have a normal registry along with this honeymoon wishlist) and they will definitely not use them. The part that irks me is that a honeymoon is not a mandatory event for a wedding yet they are asking for everyone to pitch in and make it even better because they don't have to pay for it. This may become more of the standard as I think people my age and younger have lost the sense of public vs private and what should be openly talked about and not. Twenty years ago you wouldn't have heard of people asking their friends and family to help pitch in for their elaborate honeymoon but now with Facebook, GoFundMe, etc it is almost normal.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #665 on: August 13, 2014, 02:14:47 PM »
Quote
but brain declined the drama.

Which keeps me from saying half the things that come to mind when reading Facebook posts.

Only half?

Mine is more like 99%

Purple monkey dishwasher

dandarc

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #666 on: August 13, 2014, 02:43:11 PM »
I think a lot of people think this is a little less uncouth than straight up asking for money where the 'gift registry' should be.  I know my wife's mom would've flipped out if we had done anything remotely like asking for money . . . but of course expensive plates from the overpriced 'gift shop' in town are perfectly fine.

We went to a wedding in Atlanta where the couple were a slightly younger version of us - they had the temerity to straight up ask for cash by explaining "we already have everything we need because we're, you know, adults, but if you want to give us something money is always appreciated and will be put to good use."  Respected them more for being honest.  I usually give cash to the bride and groom any way - it is a lot easier and always appreciated.

I would feel more comfortable if they had been upfront and requested cash as I know that they do not need the items that are listed on their normal registry (yes they have a normal registry along with this honeymoon wishlist) and they will definitely not use them. The part that irks me is that a honeymoon is not a mandatory event for a wedding yet they are asking for everyone to pitch in and make it even better because they don't have to pay for it. This may become more of the standard as I think people my age and younger have lost the sense of public vs private and what should be openly talked about and not. Twenty years ago you wouldn't have heard of people asking their friends and family to help pitch in for their elaborate honeymoon but now with Facebook, GoFundMe, etc it is almost normal.
Yeah the whole wedding registry thing is pretty silly - even more so to put a veneer over it when you're pretty transparently asking for money.  I'd just assume the normal registry and the facade of paying for the components of the honeymoon are pressure from different factions ("You can't just ask for money!" "You have to register at Store A, because Aunt X and Friend Y only shop at Store A" - MIL actually said this one to us).  Now if they do one of these things completely out of the blue ("help us buy a new fridge!"), that would start impacting my opinion of them.

dandarc

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #667 on: August 13, 2014, 02:48:12 PM »
Of course plastering it on Facebook for everyone to see is bit uncouth - I'd think you'd want to limit this to only people who were at least invited to the wedding.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #668 on: August 13, 2014, 02:57:54 PM »
I think a lot of people think this is a little less uncouth than straight up asking for money where the 'gift registry' should be.  I know my wife's mom would've flipped out if we had done anything remotely like asking for money . . . but of course expensive plates from the overpriced 'gift shop' in town are perfectly fine.

We went to a wedding in Atlanta where the couple were a slightly younger version of us - they had the temerity to straight up ask for cash by explaining "we already have everything we need because we're, you know, adults, but if you want to give us something money is always appreciated and will be put to good use."  Respected them more for being honest.  I usually give cash to the bride and groom any way - it is a lot easier and always appreciated.

I would feel more comfortable if they had been upfront and requested cash as I know that they do not need the items that are listed on their normal registry (yes they have a normal registry along with this honeymoon wishlist) and they will definitely not use them. The part that irks me is that a honeymoon is not a mandatory event for a wedding yet they are asking for everyone to pitch in and make it even better because they don't have to pay for it. This may become more of the standard as I think people my age and younger have lost the sense of public vs private and what should be openly talked about and not. Twenty years ago you wouldn't have heard of people asking their friends and family to help pitch in for their elaborate honeymoon but now with Facebook, GoFundMe, etc it is almost normal.
Yeah the whole wedding registry thing is pretty silly - even more so to put a veneer over it when you're pretty transparently asking for money.  I'd just assume the normal registry and the facade of paying for the components of the honeymoon are pressure from different factions ("You can't just ask for money!" "You have to register at Store A, because Aunt X and Friend Y only shop at Store A" - MIL actually said this one to us).  Now if they do one of these things completely out of the blue ("help us buy a new fridge!"), that would start impacting my opinion of them.

I don't know, I prefer giving cash or cash equivalents for weddings (ie, gift cards), but since it is not considered appropriate to do so, wedding registries can be a way of giving something equivalent. That said, I have yet to have a check not cashed, so I might continue to just give a card and a check.

PilotsWife

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #669 on: August 13, 2014, 03:46:00 PM »
I think a lot of people think this is a little less uncouth than straight up asking for money where the 'gift registry' should be.  I know my wife's mom would've flipped out if we had done anything remotely like asking for money . . . but of course expensive plates from the overpriced 'gift shop' in town are perfectly fine.

We went to a wedding in Atlanta where the couple were a slightly younger version of us - they had the temerity to straight up ask for cash by explaining "we already have everything we need because we're, you know, adults, but if you want to give us something money is always appreciated and will be put to good use."  Respected them more for being honest.  I usually give cash to the bride and groom any way - it is a lot easier and always appreciated.

I would feel more comfortable if they had been upfront and requested cash as I know that they do not need the items that are listed on their normal registry (yes they have a normal registry along with this honeymoon wishlist) and they will definitely not use them. The part that irks me is that a honeymoon is not a mandatory event for a wedding yet they are asking for everyone to pitch in and make it even better because they don't have to pay for it. This may become more of the standard as I think people my age and younger have lost the sense of public vs private and what should be openly talked about and not. Twenty years ago you wouldn't have heard of people asking their friends and family to help pitch in for their elaborate honeymoon but now with Facebook, GoFundMe, etc it is almost normal.
Yeah the whole wedding registry thing is pretty silly - even more so to put a veneer over it when you're pretty transparently asking for money.  I'd just assume the normal registry and the facade of paying for the components of the honeymoon are pressure from different factions ("You can't just ask for money!" "You have to register at Store A, because Aunt X and Friend Y only shop at Store A" - MIL actually said this one to us).  Now if they do one of these things completely out of the blue ("help us buy a new fridge!"), that would start impacting my opinion of them.

I don't know, I prefer giving cash or cash equivalents for weddings (ie, gift cards), but since it is not considered appropriate to do so, wedding registries can be a way of giving something equivalent. That said, I have yet to have a check not cashed, so I might continue to just give a card and a check.
I absolutely love the "Honeyfund." Only a couple of my friends married young & needed the standard registry items. The rest of us got married/will get married after living together & setting up our households. I'd much rather know that my gift money is going towards a fun experience for them vs replacing the perfectly good Ikea plates they already have. Then again, I value travel a lot in my own life, so that definitely influences my feelings about this subject.

Also, I absolutely hate the stupid, weird, & generally outdated "rules" surrounding weddings & registries. So few people are setting up their first home when they get married that registries are really just a chance to buy nicer stuff or get some big-ticket items the couple wouldn't pay for on their own. But since gifts are still expected at weddings, why not get the couple something they want instead of just playing into the consumer lifestyle? I wish I'd had the guests at my wedding contribute to my honeymoon rather than buying me household goods that I haven't ever used.

Albert

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #670 on: August 13, 2014, 04:01:51 PM »
Can someone explain to me what this "registry" thing is all about? I've never been to American wedding and thus have only a vague understanding of the concept.

mhufft920

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #671 on: August 13, 2014, 04:12:40 PM »
Yes, there are a lot of Gofundme begging fails.  One woman I knew on Facebook who is very wealthy and wanted to hang on to her multi-million dollar home during a nasty divorce started a Gofundme to "save her kids childhood home".  Ummmmm, kids don't really care that much about having a giant house to live in.  Fortunately, she eventually snapped out of it and pulled the ad and apologized. 

I also saw a woman on FB who started a go fund me for her moving costs to Arizona.  She didn't have the $3000 to afford it for herself. 

A woman on a forum I frequent just found out her mortgage has a nearly $4000 deficit that needs to be paid by the end of the month, or else she has to have the amount split and added to her mortgage for a year.  She asked, "Who has $4000 just laying around?" and "I can't afford an extra $350 a month on my mortgage."  I thought of this forum right away. 

I don't ever want to be in the position of a) not knowing that my mortgage was being underpaid and b) not having an emergency fund for unexpected stuff like that.


I saw a GoFundMe for a chick trying to raise money to get out of her DUI charges.  Super classy.

strider3700

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #672 on: August 13, 2014, 04:14:47 PM »
The new couple goes to various locations and picks what they'd like to be given for their wedding gifts that store writes it down and makes the list available to anyone who comes in and wants to know what to get for them.   The people getting married then announce where they have made these registries.

I liked it because I had my own house and my now wife had her own house so the last thing we needed was someone giving us another blender as a wedding gift.   Others pointed out that they had massive weddings and invited everyone in their family including people they hadn't seen in years so it helps let those guests know what you may want.   Guest can always choose to ignore the registry and give whatever they want.   It's considered rude to not bring a gift of some sort to a wedding.

AlanStache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #673 on: August 13, 2014, 05:37:59 PM »
Registering for travel sounds fine to me, heck could even work out best for all involved if I was able to use miles/reward points.  "Jane & Bob you want to stay in Paris for three nights?  Ok do you mind staying at a Hilton that I can use my points at?"  Yeah a mad respect for just saying you have all the normal stuff and asking for cash if someone needs to give a gift.

strider3700

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #674 on: August 13, 2014, 06:46:57 PM »
the only thing we didn't have was a BBQ which the entire wedding party got together and got for us.   The rest was all cool personalized things.  books, some wine, way more personal then household appliances or dishes

Travis

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #675 on: August 14, 2014, 12:55:25 AM »
Can someone explain to me what this "registry" thing is all about? I've never been to American wedding and thus have only a vague understanding of the concept.

For a birth or a wedding you can go to a store that specializes in those kinds of things and set up a wish list for your friends and family to see for gift ideas.

Gin1984

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #676 on: August 14, 2014, 10:54:28 AM »
I think a lot of people think this is a little less uncouth than straight up asking for money where the 'gift registry' should be.  I know my wife's mom would've flipped out if we had done anything remotely like asking for money . . . but of course expensive plates from the overpriced 'gift shop' in town are perfectly fine.

We went to a wedding in Atlanta where the couple were a slightly younger version of us - they had the temerity to straight up ask for cash by explaining "we already have everything we need because we're, you know, adults, but if you want to give us something money is always appreciated and will be put to good use."  Respected them more for being honest.  I usually give cash to the bride and groom any way - it is a lot easier and always appreciated.

I would feel more comfortable if they had been upfront and requested cash as I know that they do not need the items that are listed on their normal registry (yes they have a normal registry along with this honeymoon wishlist) and they will definitely not use them. The part that irks me is that a honeymoon is not a mandatory event for a wedding yet they are asking for everyone to pitch in and make it even better because they don't have to pay for it. This may become more of the standard as I think people my age and younger have lost the sense of public vs private and what should be openly talked about and not. Twenty years ago you wouldn't have heard of people asking their friends and family to help pitch in for their elaborate honeymoon but now with Facebook, GoFundMe, etc it is almost normal.
Yeah the whole wedding registry thing is pretty silly - even more so to put a veneer over it when you're pretty transparently asking for money.  I'd just assume the normal registry and the facade of paying for the components of the honeymoon are pressure from different factions ("You can't just ask for money!" "You have to register at Store A, because Aunt X and Friend Y only shop at Store A" - MIL actually said this one to us).  Now if they do one of these things completely out of the blue ("help us buy a new fridge!"), that would start impacting my opinion of them.

I don't know, I prefer giving cash or cash equivalents for weddings (ie, gift cards), but since it is not considered appropriate to do so, wedding registries can be a way of giving something equivalent. That said, I have yet to have a check not cashed, so I might continue to just give a card and a check.
It is standard where I am from to give cash, though my husband's side it is rude.  I believe it depends on the area/culture.

CommonCents

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #677 on: August 14, 2014, 11:57:04 AM »
Registering for travel sounds fine to me, heck could even work out best for all involved if I was able to use miles/reward points.  "Jane & Bob you want to stay in Paris for three nights?  Ok do you mind staying at a Hilton that I can use my points at?"  Yeah a mad respect for just saying you have all the normal stuff and asking for cash if someone needs to give a gift.

You know that if you donate to a Honeyfund they aren't actually getting what you giving them such as two massages, right?  ETA: You can always directly offer points or the like to them, but don't be surprised at a slight "deer in headlights" look if they were really planning to use the money they got for something else.

They instead get a check minus the middleman fee.  A few years ago I looked it up for one friend and it was 7.5%.  A recent friend had it for less (yay competition) at 3.5% I think. 

Which is why I don't like them.  If I'm going to give impersonal cash (I find it awkward to write a check to a friend generally, and also blatantly have out there how much I'm giving), I'll do it w/o the middleman taking the cut.

At the last wedding I (am making) a queen sized quilt for their bed.  At the wedding before that, I did write one of my rare checks but only because they live in Hawaii with the wedding in CA, and I agreed with them that shipping would have been silly.  (I refused the aforementioned honeyfund with things like "tattoo" offered, and wrote the check directly.) 
« Last Edit: August 14, 2014, 12:01:22 PM by CommonCents »

dycker1978

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seanc0x0

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #679 on: August 15, 2014, 09:54:38 AM »

dycker1978

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #680 on: August 15, 2014, 11:10:50 AM »

Jack

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #681 on: August 15, 2014, 12:35:39 PM »
I saw a GoFundMe for a chick trying to raise money to get out of her DUI charges.  Super classy.

There was recently a road-rage-induced hit-and-run against a cyclist here in Atlanta. (Last I heard, the cyclist had emerged from his coma and is now re-learning motor skills.) Once they found the car involved, which was hidden under a tarp in a parking deck, it was determined that it belonged to the girlfriend of the perpetrator. She's been charged with "tampering with evidence" because she helped hide the car.

That asshole had the audacity to try to get her legal expenses crowdfunded!

Quote from: GoFundMe
"As you may or may not know, I've been accused of charges in a high profile case that has sucked up a vast amount of my funds (and my family) for finishing college and personal bills. Because of a crime someone else has done, I may be facing 5 years plus in jail for allegedly "tampering with evidence" With God on my side and a great lawyer, I have to come up with $3,000 after paying a $2,500 bail that I'm still paying on. I'm never the one to put my "business" in the street, but The Bible says, "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom (Proverbs 11:2)." With that said, I need help! End of story, no sugar coating to it. I'm humble enough to know that when I need help, I need to ask for it so I just pray that out of the kindness of everyone's heart you can please give whatever you can to help me beat this case and win this victory that I KNOW God has already taken care of!"

(Luckily, once a few people complained, the page got taken down.)

notquitefrugal

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #682 on: August 16, 2014, 10:24:58 PM »
Insofar as wedding registries are concerned, I once received a wedding announcement which contained the words "No gifts, please" at the bottom. On the one hand, it may be a breach of etiquette to presume that someone would be sending a gift; on the other hand, it's classy to not use a wedding as a money/gift grab.

Primm

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #683 on: August 17, 2014, 01:16:20 AM »
Insofar as wedding registries are concerned, I once received a wedding announcement which contained the words "No gifts, please" at the bottom. On the one hand, it may be a breach of etiquette to presume that someone would be sending a gift; on the other hand, it's classy to not use a wedding as a money/gift grab.

We did this. :) We still received some gifts, but they were in the bottle of wine, pot plant type category.

We were in our mid 30s and had everything we needed by the time we got married. We honestly wanted people to come for the celebration and not worry about what to buy us. My family came from 2000km away, so I figured actually getting to the event was enough of a financial impost on them.

madgeylou

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #684 on: August 17, 2014, 07:27:49 AM »
Insofar as wedding registries are concerned, I once received a wedding announcement which contained the words "No gifts, please" at the bottom. On the one hand, it may be a breach of etiquette to presume that someone would be sending a gift; on the other hand, it's classy to not use a wedding as a money/gift grab.

We did this. :) We still received some gifts, but they were in the bottle of wine, pot plant type category.

We were in our mid 30s and had everything we needed by the time we got married. We honestly wanted people to come for the celebration and not worry about what to buy us. My family came from 2000km away, so I figured actually getting to the event was enough of a financial impost on them.

We did something similar. On our wedding website we said our guests' presence was the best gift. We also had a link to a small registry of items so if someone did feel moved to get us something, they had a list to work with. We registered for hammocks and headlamps for our honeymoon to the jungle. :)

Most people gave cash, a few got gifts off the registry, and some took us at our word and came without a gift. We knew that some of our friends/family were struggling financially and we didn't want them to feel pressured ... We were just really glad to have the beloved people there either way!

robotclown

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #685 on: August 17, 2014, 01:33:57 PM »
Someone on facebook was all excited about getting their second credit card.  The comments turned into a discussion on how to get another credit card when your credit is terrible. 

Goldielocks

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #686 on: August 17, 2014, 11:42:33 PM »
Insofar as wedding registries are concerned, I once received a wedding announcement which contained the words "No gifts, please" at the bottom. On the one hand, it may be a breach of etiquette to presume that someone would be sending a gift; on the other hand, it's classy to not use a wedding as a money/gift grab.

We did this. :) We still received some gifts, but they were in the bottle of wine, pot plant type category.

We were in our mid 30s and had everything we needed by the time we got married. We honestly wanted people to come for the celebration and not worry about what to buy us. My family came from 2000km away, so I figured actually getting to the event was enough of a financial impost on them.
Pot plant?  That was some gift!
« Last Edit: August 17, 2014, 11:44:17 PM by goldielocks »

Primm

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #687 on: August 17, 2014, 11:44:40 PM »
Insofar as wedding registries are concerned, I once received a wedding announcement which contained the words "No gifts, please" at the bottom. On the one hand, it may be a breach of etiquette to presume that someone would be sending a gift; on the other hand, it's classy to not use a wedding as a money/gift grab.
Pot plant?  That was some gift.
We did this. :) We still received some gifts, but they were in the bottle of wine, pot plant type category.

We were in our mid 30s and had everything we needed by the time we got married. We honestly wanted people to come for the celebration and not worry about what to buy us. My family came from 2000km away, so I figured actually getting to the event was enough of a financial impost on them.

Not sure if you're being sarcastic or not, but it was awesome! Really good friends of ours bought us a kaffir lime tree in a pot. Unfortunately it bit the dirt when I went to Europe for a month for work and left my brown thumbed husband to care for it - apparently it didn't enjoy not being watered. But we had freshly picked kaffir lime leaves in our food for a couple of years. :)

Goldielocks

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #688 on: August 17, 2014, 11:59:34 PM »
Insofar as wedding registries are concerned, I once received a wedding announcement which contained the words "No gifts, please" at the bottom. On the one hand, it may be a breach of etiquette to presume that someone would be sending a gift; on the other hand, it's classy to not use a wedding as a money/gift grab.
Pot plant?  That was some gift.
We did this. :) We still received some gifts, but they were in the bottle of wine, pot plant type category.

We were in our mid 30s and had everything we needed by the time we got married. We honestly wanted people to come for the celebration and not worry about what to buy us. My family came from 2000km away, so I figured actually getting to the event was enough of a financial impost on them.

Not sure if you're being sarcastic or not, but it was awesome! Really good friends of ours bought us a kaffir lime tree in a pot. Unfortunately it bit the dirt when I went to Europe for a month for work and left my brown thumbed husband to care for it - apparently it didn't enjoy not being watered. But we had freshly picked kaffir lime leaves in our food for a couple of years. :)


Here, the term pot plant refers to marijuana.  It would be unusual but not out of the blue to have a well intentioned but misplaced gift of that sort....

AlanStache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #689 on: August 18, 2014, 06:12:09 AM »
I think we all learned something about the British Colombian vs Australian culture today :-p  Maybe we all need to start typing with an accent so that these things are more apparent.

aclarridge

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #690 on: August 18, 2014, 12:37:47 PM »
Insofar as wedding registries are concerned, I once received a wedding announcement which contained the words "No gifts, please" at the bottom. On the one hand, it may be a breach of etiquette to presume that someone would be sending a gift; on the other hand, it's classy to not use a wedding as a money/gift grab.

We did this. :) We still received some gifts, but they were in the bottle of wine, pot plant type category.

We were in our mid 30s and had everything we needed by the time we got married. We honestly wanted people to come for the celebration and not worry about what to buy us. My family came from 2000km away, so I figured actually getting to the event was enough of a financial impost on them.

We did something similar. On our wedding website we said our guests' presence was the best gift. We also had a link to a small registry of items so if someone did feel moved to get us something, they had a list to work with. We registered for hammocks and headlamps for our honeymoon to the jungle. :)

Most people gave cash, a few got gifts off the registry, and some took us at our word and came without a gift. We knew that some of our friends/family were struggling financially and we didn't want them to feel pressured ... We were just really glad to have the beloved people there either way!

I wish we had done this. Most people gave us cash and I thought many folks gave way too much (not that they are struggling, it just seemed like a lot for a wedding gift in several cases).

fartface

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #691 on: August 20, 2014, 05:59:57 PM »
I wish we had done this. Most people gave us cash and I thought many folks gave way too much (not that they are struggling, it just seemed like a lot for a wedding gift in several cases).
[/quote]

What's the going rate these days anyway? 17 years ago when I got married, it was about $50 from most couples.

Last month I attended a young co-worker's very nice reception held downtown. Gave them $100 from my husband and I.

Davids

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #692 on: August 20, 2014, 06:06:17 PM »
I wish we had done this. Most people gave us cash and I thought many folks gave way too much (not that they are struggling, it just seemed like a lot for a wedding gift in several cases).

What's the going rate these days anyway? 17 years ago when I got married, it was about $50 from most couples.

Last month I attended a young co-worker's very nice reception held downtown. Gave them $100 from my husband and I.
[/quote]
I would say the going rate is $50/person so your $100 gift is fair.

SwordGuy

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #693 on: August 20, 2014, 09:23:03 PM »
Saw this on Facebook today and thought you would all enjoy...

solon

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #694 on: August 20, 2014, 09:28:12 PM »
Saw this on Facebook today and thought you would all enjoy...

I might have to steal this and put it back on FB.

odput

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #695 on: August 21, 2014, 06:35:55 AM »
My reaction followed the script exactly how text underneath the picture predicted...

galliver

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #696 on: August 21, 2014, 11:36:08 PM »
...there are many other organizations that have received money and were paying their people tons of money. Idk about you, but I feel like the salary of a nonprofit worker shouldn't be an insane amount.

At one time I would have agreed with you completely, but a while back I read this article and found the argument rather convincing: http://www.forbes.com/sites/investopedia/2013/01/23/is-a-one-million-dollar-nonprofit-ceo-salary-as-bad-as-it-sounds/ The argument is open-ended; it doesn't actually prescribe a number that is or isn't reasonable. But I think it raises an important question, of why we view a for-profit entity spending money to money to recruit talent and make a profit differently than a non-profit entity spending money to recruit talent and make a difference.

Ian

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #697 on: August 22, 2014, 01:45:34 AM »
At one time I would have agreed with you completely, but a while back I read this article and found the argument rather convincing: http://www.forbes.com/sites/investopedia/2013/01/23/is-a-one-million-dollar-nonprofit-ceo-salary-as-bad-as-it-sounds/ The argument is open-ended; it doesn't actually prescribe a number that is or isn't reasonable. But I think it raises an important question, of why we view a for-profit entity spending money to money to recruit talent and make a profit differently than a non-profit entity spending money to recruit talent and make a difference.
Exactly. It's ridiculous that most people think a for-profit entity paying its CEO a million isn't just as problematic.

PloddingInsight

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #698 on: August 22, 2014, 06:16:06 AM »
Exactly. It's ridiculous that most people think a for-profit entity paying its CEO a million isn't just as problematic.
How dare those CEOs earn a market wage for their rare skills!

greenmimama

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #699 on: August 22, 2014, 03:31:53 PM »
Anyone have a couple grand just laying around that they don't want anymore? Crap shoot....

He is 39 years old, why wouldn't he have a couple of grand lying around, it is so very sad to me that he doesn't.