Author Topic: Overheard on Facebook  (Read 3211954 times)

marty998

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6450 on: June 17, 2017, 01:48:16 AM »
A friend posted today "according to the calculator, I can retire 5 years after I die"

I think I'll send him a link to MMM

I am sitting here stupidly trying to figure out how that is possible :D

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6451 on: June 17, 2017, 01:58:52 AM »
A friend posted today "according to the calculator, I can retire 5 years after I die"

I think I'll send him a link to MMM

I am sitting here stupidly trying to figure out how that is possible :D

Don't. Stupid is as stupid does and no one wants to do as what stupid does when stupid does the stupid thing that stupid does.

TartanTallulah

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6452 on: June 17, 2017, 04:00:55 AM »
A friend posted today "according to the calculator, I can retire 5 years after I die"

I think I'll send him a link to MMM

I am sitting here stupidly trying to figure out how that is possible :D

I posted a link to a social media site for a blatantly spoof article that included the proposition that people in my occupation would only be considered for retirement after they had died, and even then it could not be guaranteed. I was amazed at how many people I think of as being intelligent came back with comments like, "But how is that even possible?" Either I overestimated their intelligence or they underestimated mine. Makes me wonder whether they took some of the other bizarre propositions in the article at face value too.

fruitfly

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6453 on: June 17, 2017, 04:10:11 PM »
A former co-worker told me about a year ago that he was saving for a house downpayment in our crazy Portland market. I was glad for him (he makes good money and has a pretty low rent currently) and so we talked about having to stop shopping and buying tech stuff (we're both nerds but he really worships at the altar of Apple).

Since then his instagram has been a constant stream of cutesy nerd stuff, Apple product of the week (watches, new phone, cases), dinners out, upgrades to his aquarium, etc etc etc. I finally asked after he posted a pic of his new Apple AirPods (MSRP $159) if he was still planning to buy a house. He got mad and said this one purchase wasn't going to stand between him and buying a house.

I really need to learn to shut my mouth!

BTDretire

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6454 on: June 17, 2017, 08:54:34 PM »
A former co-worker told me about a year ago that he was saving for a house downpayment in our crazy Portland market. I was glad for him (he makes good money and has a pretty low rent currently) and so we talked about having to stop shopping and buying tech stuff (we're both nerds but he really worships at the altar of Apple).

Since then his instagram has been a constant stream of cutesy nerd stuff, Apple product of the week (watches, new phone, cases), dinners out, upgrades to his aquarium, etc etc etc. I finally asked after he posted a pic of his new Apple AirPods (MSRP $159) if he was still planning to buy a house. He got mad and said this one purchase wasn't going to stand between him and buying a house.

I really need to learn to shut my mouth!
He got mad, because he knows you are right!

Kitsune

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6455 on: June 17, 2017, 09:11:02 PM »
A former co-worker told me about a year ago that he was saving for a house downpayment in our crazy Portland market. I was glad for him (he makes good money and has a pretty low rent currently) and so we talked about having to stop shopping and buying tech stuff (we're both nerds but he really worships at the altar of Apple).

Since then his instagram has been a constant stream of cutesy nerd stuff, Apple product of the week (watches, new phone, cases), dinners out, upgrades to his aquarium, etc etc etc. I finally asked after he posted a pic of his new Apple AirPods (MSRP $159) if he was still planning to buy a house. He got mad and said this one purchase wasn't going to stand between him and buying a house.

I really need to learn to shut my mouth!
He got mad, because he knows you are right!

Well, on the surface, he's right... ONE purchase isn't the problem. He's mad because it's more like one every few days, and yeah, that WILL come between him and a house and he doesn't want to be reminded of it.

Sad thing is, once he finally realizes it, meals will have been eaten and depreciating apple products bought and there won't be much to show for it.

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6456 on: June 18, 2017, 12:49:12 AM »
A very dear friend of mine is more superficial than I would like, and has the peculiar habit of bragging about new cars, new houses, new toys... that all belong to his brother.

Sometimes it's on Facebook, often it's in person.

E.g.

"Fred just bought this awesome new blender. I can't wait for my blender to die so I can buy one too!"

My friend doesn't use the blender he has, which was a hand-me-down from his mum. He definitely does not need a $300 blender.

"Oh, you're new apartment isn't as big as I thought it would be. Fred and his wife just bought a new place, six bedrooms, the works."

My friend lives rent-free in a 40-year-old house. The kitchen is a bit plain, the shower screen is broken, and you have to turn the taps just the right way to get hot water, but I've never said a word because I think it's an awesome financial opportunity for him not to have to pay rent.

I know Fred and his wife, they are savvy with money and very comfortable financially, and they're also completely down to earth and would never lord their comfortable lifestyle over others. So it's odd that my friend feels the need to elevate himself on the back of their wealth.

Mezzie

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6457 on: June 18, 2017, 06:39:59 AM »
I would be very uncomfortable with someone posting about what I had bought. That's just...odd.

fruitfly

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6458 on: June 18, 2017, 08:52:06 PM »
A former co-worker told me about a year ago that he was saving for a house downpayment in our crazy Portland market. I was glad for him (he makes good money and has a pretty low rent currently) and so we talked about having to stop shopping and buying tech stuff (we're both nerds but he really worships at the altar of Apple).

Since then his instagram has been a constant stream of cutesy nerd stuff, Apple product of the week (watches, new phone, cases), dinners out, upgrades to his aquarium, etc etc etc. I finally asked after he posted a pic of his new Apple AirPods (MSRP $159) if he was still planning to buy a house. He got mad and said this one purchase wasn't going to stand between him and buying a house.

I really need to learn to shut my mouth!
He got mad, because he knows you are right!

Well, on the surface, he's right... ONE purchase isn't the problem. He's mad because it's more like one every few days, and yeah, that WILL come between him and a house and he doesn't want to be reminded of it.

Sad thing is, once he finally realizes it, meals will have been eaten and depreciating apple products bought and there won't be much to show for it.

Don't worry guys, the purchase isn't a big deal because he told me he's going to spend way more on a big trip that's coming up. <eyeroll>

mustachepungoeshere, that's uncomfortable. I hate the whole compare to others mentality that people have to measure their own "success."

nnls

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6459 on: June 18, 2017, 09:21:16 PM »
Just saw this on facebook
Quote
Has anyone done a $500 loan through nimble before? What were your repayments looking at/how long for?

Trying to find the best loan company with great repayment prices 1-2 years to pay off the rest of my wedding

A few people suggested having a cheaper wedding, but that is apparently impossible. She "needs" a loan, other people have suggested selling things for the cash but also a no go. Hopefully she can get a loan through a regular bank instead of paying the 47% nimble charges



mustachepungoeshere

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6460 on: June 18, 2017, 11:18:29 PM »
mustachepungoeshere, that's uncomfortable. I hate the whole compare to others mentality that people have to measure their own "success."

Exactly. Intellectually I know that I have so much ammo to push back with, but I don't care who has nicer stuff.

I feel sorry for my friend that his priorities are skewed. I'll keep working on him...

infogoon

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6461 on: June 19, 2017, 11:04:24 AM »
Someone told me that driving a used minivan instead of a new SUV was grounds for taking away my "man card".

I told him that if he thinks a "man card" comes from something that can be purchased, maybe he should reconsider how he's defining "man".

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6462 on: June 19, 2017, 12:32:37 PM »
Someone told me that driving a used minivan instead of a new SUV was grounds for taking away my "man card".

I told him that if he thinks a "man card" comes from something that can be purchased, maybe he should reconsider how he's defining "man".
Ask him if he can fit 4x8 sheets of plywood in his SUV.  Then, when he admits that he can't, you can state that "buying a vehicle that can't haul plywood is grounds for taking away your man card."

cheapass

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6463 on: June 19, 2017, 01:03:02 PM »
Someone told me that driving a used minivan instead of a new SUV was grounds for taking away my "man card".

I told him that if he thinks a "man card" comes from something that can be purchased, maybe he should reconsider how he's defining "man".

Maybe you can apply for your "man card" again when you're sitting around enjoying your financial independence/early retirement instead of being a wage slave.

Kitsune

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6464 on: June 19, 2017, 01:15:04 PM »

Someone told me that driving a used minivan instead of a new SUV was grounds for taking away my "man card".

I told him that if he thinks a "man card" comes from something that can be purchased, maybe he should reconsider how he's defining "man".

... Every dude I've heard say this is also the kind of dude who gets an overpriced nonsense car 'to impress the ladies'. Y'know what impresses the ladies? Politeness, being treated like people, guys who have hobbies and actual life skills, and skills in... certain other areas. Guess it's easier to buy a new car than develop that... *snark*

solon

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6465 on: June 19, 2017, 01:21:57 PM »

Sibley

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6466 on: June 19, 2017, 01:51:42 PM »
Solon, I lived with someone who wanted to do that until a month ago. Meanwhile, I was freezing. I put a stop to that VERY quickly.

BDWW

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6467 on: June 19, 2017, 02:44:27 PM »
Sleeping in cold room is good for you. A cold room with a blanket/pajamas is actually the optimal way to sleep.
http://time.com/3602415/sleep-problems-room-temperature/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-christopher-winter/best-temperature-for-sleep_b_3705049.html

marcela

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6468 on: June 19, 2017, 02:59:09 PM »
My sister in law came to visit over the weekend and as we were getting ready for bed, she asked if we would be turning down the temp. I said yes, we usually turned it down to a chilly 73 degrees at night, and that there were blankets under the bed if she would be cold...Apparently she and her husband turn it to 60 every night!
We had to hook up a fan for her in her room and close some of the other outlets so the ac would blow more for her.

Seems electricity is included in their rent...

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6469 on: June 19, 2017, 03:14:39 PM »
I'll sometimes put the AC on something low like 60 when I'm staying at a hotel room.

RWD

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6470 on: June 19, 2017, 03:16:33 PM »
Wow, we just started turning the thermostat down to 77 at night (had been 78). I think I'd get hypothermia at 60!

JordanOfGilead

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6471 on: June 19, 2017, 03:50:35 PM »
I keep mine at 80 during the day to knock some of the humidity off. Turn it down to 76 at night if I'm feeling spendy

Sent from my S60 using Tapatalk


solon

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6472 on: June 19, 2017, 04:42:24 PM »
I didn't mean that I do that. I just saw it on Facebook!

RetiredAt63

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6473 on: June 19, 2017, 05:19:25 PM »
I try to get the house really cool at night.  We have time of use pricing, so I never want to run the AC during the day.  If I get it cool enough at night and close the house up for the day, it stays coolish.  Cool nights the house will cool on its own.  Hot nights I run the AC

With This Herring

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6474 on: June 19, 2017, 05:28:33 PM »
I find it very difficult to sleep without the weight of a blanket (and a room cool enough to tolerate one), so this I understand... *shamed*

yourusernamehere

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6475 on: June 19, 2017, 08:33:23 PM »
I find it very difficult to sleep without the weight of a blanket (and a room cool enough to tolerate one), so this I understand... *shamed*
Same! I saw some click bait about a rope net blanket thing that gives you the weighty feeling without the heat, but I didn't click it. I do think about it sometimes when my husband is picking on my four blankets in the summer. Luckily I'm not in a warm location :-)

JordanOfGilead

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6476 on: June 19, 2017, 08:35:07 PM »
I find it very difficult to sleep without the weight of a blanket (and a room cool enough to tolerate one), so this I understand... *shamed*
I have an open knitt blanket that I've had since I was a baby. I think it's a queen sized one ...
Anyway, it has the weight of a heavy sheet and allows airflow without sticking to my skin. Perfect for warm nights.

-edit-
Lots of spelling edits. For some reason my phone has been swapping out homophones lately.
« Last Edit: June 19, 2017, 08:39:17 PM by JordanOfGilead »

redbird

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6477 on: June 20, 2017, 01:32:20 AM »
Some of you people make me feel spendy. :( I don't bother changing my A/C temperature unless I'm going to be away. I have it set at 76.

FWIW, I used to keep it kept at 74. It was too cold for me but my husband liked it. Not long after moving into this house we adjusted to 76. He barely noticed the difference and appreciates the higher than expected savings. I appreciate not being cold all the time. I am definitely fine with going warmer, but it's a process. :) I'll try asking to go up to 77 or 78 soon.

frooglepoodle

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6478 on: June 20, 2017, 05:28:59 AM »
Some of you people make me feel spendy. :( I don't bother changing my A/C temperature unless I'm going to be away. I have it set at 76.

FWIW, I used to keep it kept at 74. It was too cold for me but my husband liked it. Not long after moving into this house we adjusted to 76. He barely noticed the difference and appreciates the higher than expected savings. I appreciate not being cold all the time. I am definitely fine with going warmer, but it's a process. :) I'll try asking to go up to 77 or 78 soon.

We still go down to 74 at night. Lots of times we are running the AC as much to get the humidity out of the air inside as we are to cool the air. I find 77-78 pretty pleasant unless it's sticky (which it always is here in the summer).

theadvicist

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6479 on: June 20, 2017, 05:46:12 AM »
This might be a stupid question (have never had AC) but would a dehumidifier help in that regard? We had a flood once, and used one to dry out carpets. As I say it may be a stupid question - perhaps they are as expensive to run as AC, or perhaps the mechanism for drying the air is actually exactly the same thing so they are interchangeable.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6480 on: June 20, 2017, 05:52:11 AM »
This might be a stupid question (have never had AC) but would a dehumidifier help in that regard? We had a flood once, and used one to dry out carpets. As I say it may be a stupid question - perhaps they are as expensive to run as AC, or perhaps the mechanism for drying the air is actually exactly the same thing so they are interchangeable.
They work the same way, with one major difference:  after chilling the air (and removing the moisture), a dehumidifier dumps the heat back into the air, whereas an A/C system dumps the heat outside the house.

JordanOfGilead

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6481 on: June 20, 2017, 06:52:32 AM »
This might be a stupid question (have never had AC) but would a dehumidifier help in that regard? We had a flood once, and used one to dry out carpets. As I say it may be a stupid question - perhaps they are as expensive to run as AC, or perhaps the mechanism for drying the air is actually exactly the same thing so they are interchangeable.
I hadn't even thought of that possibility... I wonder if a dehumidifier would be less expensive to run than the A/C. I'll have to look into it.

marcela

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6482 on: June 20, 2017, 07:43:54 AM »
Our thermostat is kept at 78-80 during the day and rarely clicks on due to decent insulation and judicious closing of curtains..etc. The big drop is my concession to my husband, he used to keep his apartment set to 70 during the day and 65 at night. We could probably get it set higher if the dog didn't sleep on the bed with us. The little thing is a 17 lb little furnace!

Sibley

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6483 on: June 20, 2017, 09:49:00 AM »
This might be a stupid question (have never had AC) but would a dehumidifier help in that regard? We had a flood once, and used one to dry out carpets. As I say it may be a stupid question - perhaps they are as expensive to run as AC, or perhaps the mechanism for drying the air is actually exactly the same thing so they are interchangeable.
I hadn't even thought of that possibility... I wonder if a dehumidifier would be less expensive to run than the A/C. I'll have to look into it.

They generate a decent amount of heat. Counter productive for A/C replacement.

BTDretire

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6484 on: June 20, 2017, 10:03:05 AM »
I ran a dehumidifier for a while. It made big difference, I could reduce the humidity to 40%, when I did that I could and did raise the temperature 4* to 5*F and I would still feel comfortable. If I didn't raise the temperature it was to cold.
 It is true that the area where I put the dehumidifier got hot, it was fitting against the air conditioner. I don't know where the saving would have been, running the air conditioner more or running the air less and the dehumidifier more.
 We ended up wih a new air conditioner and furnace, the new air conditioner does a much better job reducing humidity, sometimes 78*F feels to cool, especially on hot days when the air runs more.
 We also got a recall on our dehumidifier, the model had started some fires, so they paid us to cut of the cord and send it to them.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6485 on: June 20, 2017, 09:48:10 PM »
Sleeping in cold room is good for you. A cold room with a blanket/pajamas is actually the optimal way to sleep.
http://time.com/3602415/sleep-problems-room-temperature/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-christopher-winter/best-temperature-for-sleep_b_3705049.html

I would usually agree, but we've had a heatwave recently where the temp didn't drop below 75 at night (meaning it was like 80 in the room... usually it will get down in the 60s if we leave the windows open.  Best nights sleep I've had in a long time.  Not sure if I was just exhausted from the heat of the day or if the ceiling fan was really soothing


Somehow when I woke up to an 80 degree room in the morning, I felt cold!

MrMoogle

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6486 on: June 21, 2017, 10:15:18 AM »
I keep my thermostat at 78 during the summer.  I bought a humidity sensor with a thermometer on it over the winter.  According to it, my apartment temperature fluctuates between 70 and 72 with the thermostat at 78.  My electricity bill is ~$30 a month, so I feel like I'm doing pretty good with it, but was surprised to see that I'm not really as badass as I had thought.

BTDretire

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6487 on: June 21, 2017, 10:52:34 AM »
  Before we updated our furnace, air conditioner and thermostat, I had little battery operated circuit with a push switch. When I pushed the switch, it energized a relay that turned on the air conditioned for a set time. The air would run about two minutes then shut off.. So if I was hot I could push the switch and the air would run for a short time without a reset of the thermostat setting.
 In the winter I just moved a clip to a different position and it turned on the furnace for the set time.
 The new thermostat was more complicated and I never took the time to figure out how to use the circuit on it. Also the new air does a better job with humidity so I don't feel the need to give it a poke like I did.

kelvin

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6488 on: June 21, 2017, 12:07:16 PM »
This might be a stupid question (have never had AC) but would a dehumidifier help in that regard? We had a flood once, and used one to dry out carpets. As I say it may be a stupid question - perhaps they are as expensive to run as AC, or perhaps the mechanism for drying the air is actually exactly the same thing so they are interchangeable.

I ran a dehumidifier for a while. It made big difference, I could reduce the humidity to 40%, when I did that I could and did raise the temperature 4* to 5*F and I would still feel comfortable. If I didn't raise the temperature it was to cold.
 It is true that the area where I put the dehumidifier got hot, it was fitting against the air conditioner. I don't know where the saving would have been, running the air conditioner more or running the air less and the dehumidifier more.
 We ended up wih a new air conditioner and furnace, the new air conditioner does a much better job reducing humidity, sometimes 78*F feels to cool, especially on hot days when the air runs more.
 We also got a recall on our dehumidifier, the model had started some fires, so they paid us to cut of the cord and send it to them.

I'm seconding this. I'll happily live with a dehumidifier instead of an AC, and I spend most of the summer with the AC unit set to "dehumidify". It helps that my landlord pays for electricity.

slugline

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6489 on: June 21, 2017, 12:31:35 PM »
A friend posted today "according to the calculator, I can retire 5 years after I die"

I think I'll send him a link to MMM

I am sitting here stupidly trying to figure out how that is possible :D

A few years ago there was this bit making the rounds on social media about how Fidelity had noticed that the investors that did the best were the buy-and-hold types that didn't trade very often. The accounts that did the best of all belonged to deceased clients. Maybe JAYSLOL's friend is acknowledging that his accounts will only grow towards his goal when he is 100% forced to be a passive investor!

Eludia

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6490 on: June 22, 2017, 12:25:12 AM »
The latest from trainwreck friend on FB that I've mentioned earlier:  A series of posts begging to borrow someones car for 3 weeks, for free of course (not sure what happened to hers, I am assuming it got repo'd), when no takers to that "Can I at LEAST get a free ride to court in county X, I need to be there tomorrow for an eviction hearing" aaaand then, does anyone have a room that can take us in for super super cheap.  Us is her, guy she cheated on hubby with, and EIGHT animals.

Oof.  That is something that scares me about having a kid.  I already have a dog and a husband, and it was much easier to imagine friends who could put me up for a week on their couch when it was just me.  Now that we're a much bigger package, it would be more difficult. 

How do you even keep track of eight animals?  Are they all goldfish???

I put up my friend and her 11 year old son in my one bedroom house for two weeks under exceptional circumstances (quake destroyed the city, including her house). It was a strain on everyone, especially as I was babysitting him most days because she was out trying to sort out more permanent accommodation. Later I found out she'd be bitching me out because I didn't give up my bed for them. No good deed goes unpunished, huh?

I guess she's not as good a friend as you thought. Sorry. :(

Yikes, I've helped out a ton of people only to have them snipe at me for such help. Like they've gone out of their way to praise me before, during, and after my help and then later I've heard that they've complained about it. That said, I believe that if they called me again in the same situation to ask for my help I likely would still be willing to help them.

You're a nicer person than me. I just can't be bothered with folk like that. Anyway, if you ever really need to sort the wheat from the chaff, friend-wise, have an earthquake! There were a few people that I considered good friends who showed their true nature during that period.

For real.  I've done well in life in general, better than anyone else in my or my wife's family or for that matter most of our circle of friends.  So naturally every time there is a problem people call us for help.  Worse than that, my wife used to call _them_ and offer to just fix things.  She is way too nice.  But after we've been burned just over and over and over, not so much anymore. 

We've loaned money probably 10 times, been paid back exactly only once over the course of years.  We've given people jobs, then have them demand more money, or a crazy schedule or that they need us to buy them a car so they can get to work.  (Yes really.)  We've put people up in our house, only to long overstay and bitch when we ask them to leave.  We've bought family members a car and a house.  (Yes really.)  We've paid for family vacations to Hawaii.  (Multiple times.)  We've paid for DisneyWorld vacations (multiple times).  None of these things ever worked out well for us.  Sure, in the moment its great for the giftee, then later comes resentment and expectation that we'll do this for them forever. 

Almost universally people are resentful at us because we're doing so well.  Then because we're doing so well, they feel like they don't ever need to thank us or repay us when we loan them money.  Then when we finally stop supporting them, they trash us to our other friends or family.  This has happened time and time again over almost 20 years.   

I've long been over helping anyone out anymore.  My wife is finally on board after years of us getting used and screwed over. 

Now I donate to ASPCA and the Humane Society. 

We're in our 40's, and so are most of our friends and siblings.  If you haven't got your shit together at this point I'm not fixing your shit for you.  If you can't get a loan at a bank why the hell should I become your bank? 

I've worked _incredibly_ hard to get where I am.  I was effectively retired at 27.  I had savings and built a company I ran 0 to 30 minutes a day that more than sustained us.  That was 14 years ago.  I lost everything 12 years ago because I bought family members a house and other family members a car and paid for all sorts of things for them and then the bottom fell out and we went broke.   I've had to go bankrupt and rebuild from 0.  Since then I've basically worked at least 2 gigs at once, 60+ hours a week the entire time to build up our savings again to make sure we NEVER go broke again.  I've succeeded and we're well on our way to FIRE in 4-5 years now. 

So long winded post, but my point is, be careful before you jump in to help friends or family.  It almost never goes well, there will be resentment at the very least on one side if not both.    A good friend of mine told me once "Not everyone will be happy for you."  It is so true. 



« Last Edit: June 22, 2017, 12:26:48 AM by Eludia »

farfromfire

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6491 on: June 22, 2017, 07:10:40 AM »
Yikes, I've helped out a ton of people only to have them snipe at me for such help. Like they've gone out of their way to praise me before, during, and after my help and then later I've heard that they've complained about it. That said, I believe that if they called me again in the same situation to ask for my help I likely would still be willing to help them.

You're a nicer person than me. I just can't be bothered with folk like that. Anyway, if you ever really need to sort the wheat from the chaff, friend-wise, have an earthquake! There were a few people that I considered good friends who showed their true nature during that period.
...
We've loaned money probably 10 times, been paid back exactly only once over the course of years.  We've given people jobs, then have them demand more money, or a crazy schedule or that they need us to buy them a car so they can get to work.  (Yes really.)  We've put people up in our house, only to long overstay and bitch when we ask them to leave.  We've bought family members a car and a house.  (Yes really.)  We've paid for family vacations to Hawaii.  (Multiple times.)  We've paid for DisneyWorld vacations (multiple times).  None of these things ever worked out well for us.  Sure, in the moment its great for the giftee, then later comes resentment and expectation that we'll do this for them forever. 
...

Reminds me of the somewhat counter-intuitive Ben Franklin Effect:
Quote from: Benjamin Franklin
He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.

Inaya

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6492 on: June 22, 2017, 08:40:04 AM »
For real.  I've done well in life in general, better than anyone else in my or my wife's family or for that matter most of our circle of friends.  So naturally every time there is a problem people call us for help.  Worse than that, my wife used to call _them_ and offer to just fix things.  She is way too nice.  But after we've been burned just over and over and over, not so much anymore. 

The emphasized bit was me until very recently. Now I will only help out if I am asked. No more offering to help of my own volition (especially in response to passive-aggressive woe-is-me Facebook posts). I can't completely turn off my impulse to help those I care about, but I will make them come to me and actually ask before I fling my money at their problems. Maybe then they'll appreciate it and actually bother to say thanks. (Probably not, but I can only handle one life lesson at a time here!) I've never expected to be paid back, but I draw the line at expecting me to pull out my credit card at meals without so much as a 'thank you.' 

I'm thankful I've managed to learn this lesson before it cost me more than a couple hundred dollars.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6493 on: June 22, 2017, 09:23:16 AM »
Yikes, I've helped out a ton of people only to have them snipe at me for such help. Like they've gone out of their way to praise me before, during, and after my help and then later I've heard that they've complained about it. That said, I believe that if they called me again in the same situation to ask for my help I likely would still be willing to help them.

You're a nicer person than me. I just can't be bothered with folk like that. Anyway, if you ever really need to sort the wheat from the chaff, friend-wise, have an earthquake! There were a few people that I considered good friends who showed their true nature during that period.
...
We've loaned money probably 10 times, been paid back exactly only once over the course of years.  We've given people jobs, then have them demand more money, or a crazy schedule or that they need us to buy them a car so they can get to work.  (Yes really.)  We've put people up in our house, only to long overstay and bitch when we ask them to leave.  We've bought family members a car and a house.  (Yes really.)  We've paid for family vacations to Hawaii.  (Multiple times.)  We've paid for DisneyWorld vacations (multiple times).  None of these things ever worked out well for us.  Sure, in the moment its great for the giftee, then later comes resentment and expectation that we'll do this for them forever. 
...

Yeah that's a good point. I should clarify that to date I haven't significantly helped someone. I haven't given anyone anything more than a few hundred dollars or had anyone stay more than a few days. My kindness has limitations as I've seen from my dad what can happen when you are too kind. I may hate myself for a day when I refuse to help someone, but I would rather suffer for a day than suffer like my dad has.

BayAreaFrugal

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6494 on: June 22, 2017, 09:38:23 AM »
Loosely paraphrased from a friend on facebook:

"I wasn't going to take a vacation this year because I'm broke, but I just found out that my company has really good discounts on cruises - $1100-1200 for a 7 day Alaskan cruise departing from Seattle, and then I'd just need a plane ticket to and from Seattle. Are there other costs or hidden fees with cruises I'm not factoring in though?"

60+ responses later and not one person has told her that $1100-1200 plus the cost of airfare is a ridiculously expensive vacation for someone who just deemed herself broke.

cheapass

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6495 on: June 22, 2017, 09:44:56 AM »
Loosely paraphrased from a friend on facebook:

"I wasn't going to take a vacation this year because I'm broke, but I just found out that my company has really good discounts on cruises - $1100-1200 for a 7 day Alaskan cruise departing from Seattle, and then I'd just need a plane ticket to and from Seattle. Are there other costs or hidden fees with cruises I'm not factoring in though?"

60+ responses later and not one person has told her that $1100-1200 plus the cost of airfare is a ridiculously expensive vacation for someone who just deemed herself broke.

Buying an elephant for a dime is a good deal ONLY if

a) you need an elephant AND
b) you have a dime

ariapluscat

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6496 on: June 22, 2017, 10:24:44 AM »
A former co-worker told me about a year ago that he was saving for a house downpayment in our crazy Portland market. I was glad for him (he makes good money and has a pretty low rent currently) and so we talked about having to stop shopping and buying tech stuff (we're both nerds but he really worships at the altar of Apple).

Since then his instagram has been a constant stream of cutesy nerd stuff, Apple product of the week (watches, new phone, cases), dinners out, upgrades to his aquarium, etc etc etc. I finally asked after he posted a pic of his new Apple AirPods (MSRP $159) if he was still planning to buy a house. He got mad and said this one purchase wasn't going to stand between him and buying a house.

I really need to learn to shut my mouth!
He got mad, because he knows you are right!

Well, on the surface, he's right... ONE purchase isn't the problem. He's mad because it's more like one every few days, and yeah, that WILL come between him and a house and he doesn't want to be reminded of it.

Sad thing is, once he finally realizes it, meals will have been eaten and depreciating apple products bought and there won't be much to show for it.

if he doesn't collect the boxes and packages, you could suggest selling them! apparently, there's a real market for them. i sold the box for my iphone really quickly on ebay. it doesn't justify the purchase, but if he's going to buy anyway...

rockstache

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6497 on: June 22, 2017, 10:52:34 AM »

if he doesn't collect the boxes and packages, you could suggest selling them! apparently, there's a real market for them. i sold the box for my iphone really quickly on ebay.

what? WHAT? For EMPTY boxes?

And people COLLECT them?

There are a lot of absurd things in this thread, but man...that one really gets to me. Excuse me, I need to go list something on ebay (don't worry, I didn't buy it, it's from my work phone).


marielle

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6498 on: June 22, 2017, 11:46:16 AM »

if he doesn't collect the boxes and packages, you could suggest selling them! apparently, there's a real market for them. i sold the box for my iphone really quickly on ebay.

what? WHAT? For EMPTY boxes?

And people COLLECT them?

There are a lot of absurd things in this thread, but man...that one really gets to me. Excuse me, I need to go list something on ebay (don't worry, I didn't buy it, it's from my work phone).

I think it's because when you have the box you can sell the iPhone or whatever gadget for more. So if the box is $5 but you get an extra $15 it's worth it. Maybe there's another reason but I doubt it...

Lauran75

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Re: Overheard on Facebook
« Reply #6499 on: June 22, 2017, 01:36:27 PM »

if he doesn't collect the boxes and packages, you could suggest selling them! apparently, there's a real market for them. i sold the box for my iphone really quickly on ebay.

what? WHAT? For EMPTY boxes?

And people COLLECT them?

There are a lot of absurd things in this thread, but man...that one really gets to me. Excuse me, I need to go list something on ebay (don't worry, I didn't buy it, it's from my work phone).

I think it's because when you have the box you can sell the iPhone or whatever gadget for more. So if the box is $5 but you get an extra $15 it's worth it. Maybe there's another reason but I doubt it...

Hmm... I may have one or two empty iPhone boxes. I would have never thought of selling them!