Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.

[Metric Mouse]

A very minor, light-hearted contribution.

Home for Christmas, Mum asked me to order her a copy of a book I knew she already owned.

Turns out she had loaned it to her father, who loaned it to his neighbour, who went into aged care and then ... died.

My dad (jokingly) suggested she make a claim against the estate, but Mum has sort of resigned herself to not getting the book back.

Ha! I think I'd like your dad.

[Dicey]

A very minor, light-hearted contribution.

Home for Christmas, Mum asked me to order her a copy of a book I knew she already owned.

Turns out she had loaned it to her father, who loaned it to his neighbour, who went into aged care and then ... died.

My dad (jokingly) suggested she make a claim against the estate, but Mum has sort of resigned herself to not getting the book back.

Hmmm, was it by any chance a copy of "Being Mortal" by Atul Gawande?

[Jakejake]

I have a self-submission for an anti-drama inheritance story. Almost a year ago a somewhat distant relative/in-law with no direct offspring passed away. We were given the opportunity to walk through the house and claim things we wanted. I found the booze cabinet which I cleaned out since nobody objected, a little basket of thread, needles, elastic and velcro, and a potato ricer. This week is the first time since then I've made mashed potatoes and I gave the potato ricer a try. It's great!

I had a moment of wondering if I should tell my MIL how much I love it and that I am grateful for it. Then I remembered my SIL took the guy's car, heh. No matter, I'm still really excited to have easy mashed potatoes with no effort.

[Rubic]

I had a moment of wondering if I should tell my MIL how much I love [the potato ricer] and that I am
grateful for it. Then I remembered my SIL took the guy's car, heh. No matter, I'm still really excited to
have easy mashed potatoes with no effort.

You win the anti-drama category. ;-)

[farmerj]

Since we're opening up to anti-drama:

My great-aunt was a... rather difficult person in life. Four husbands, I believe, at a time when nobody outside of Hollywood would consider that. Got in trouble at her retirement home for pulling a pistol on her boyfriend (he had apparently criticized her cooking).

Her only heirs were my grandfather and his brother. Her will left everything to one of them. In her apartment was found another will that left everything to the other. Both my grandfather and his brother are lawyers... and they split everything amicably down the middle.

[carolinap]

Since we're opening up to anti-drama:

My great-aunt was a... rather difficult person in life. Four husbands, I believe, at a time when nobody outside of Hollywood would consider that. Got in trouble at her retirement home for pulling a pistol on her boyfriend (he had apparently criticized her cooking).

Her only heirs were my grandfather and his brother. Her will left everything to one of them. In her apartment was found another will that left everything to the other. Both my grandfather and his brother are lawyers... and they split everything amicably down the middle.

that is some NEXT LEVEL petty stuff

[marion10]

I was left an inheritance from my grandfather when I was a minor and my father was the trustee. He spent it all - by the time I figured out what was going on and took him to court it was too late- every thing was gone.  My mother in law had Alzheimer's- by the time she died( a widow)- she was on Medicaid. I expect almost no inheritance from my mom- she lives very modestly. She inherited some from her mother but let my father handle it- with predictable results- she has none of it now.

[Playing with Fire UK]

My great-aunt was a... rather difficult person in life. Four husbands, I believe, at a time when nobody outside of Hollywood would consider that. Got in trouble at her retirement home for pulling a pistol on her boyfriend (he had apparently criticized her cooking).

I'm not condoning this behaviour, but I am going to use this story the next time I cook and someone is less than appreciative.

[shelivesthedream]

Since we're opening up to anti-drama:

My great-aunt was a... rather difficult person in life. Four husbands, I believe, at a time when nobody outside of Hollywood would consider that. Got in trouble at her retirement home for pulling a pistol on her boyfriend (he had apparently criticized her cooking).

Her only heirs were my grandfather and his brother. Her will left everything to one of them. In her apartment was found another will that left everything to the other. Both my grandfather and his brother are lawyers... and they split everything amicably down the middle.

that is some NEXT LEVEL petty stuff

SUCH POINTS to the brothers, though. They probably knew first-hand exactly how much of a pain it was going to be to contest the other will, and perfectly ruined the sister's attempt to cause a rift.

[Dicey]

Since we're opening up to anti-drama:

My great-aunt was a... rather difficult person in life. Four husbands, I believe, at a time when nobody outside of Hollywood would consider that. Got in trouble at her retirement home for pulling a pistol on her boyfriend (he had apparently criticized her cooking).

Her only heirs were my grandfather and his brother. Her will left everything to one of them. In her apartment was found another will that left everything to the other. Both my grandfather and his brother are lawyers... and they split everything amicably down the middle.

that is some NEXT LEVEL petty stuff

SUCH POINTS to the brothers, though. They probably knew first-hand exactly how much of a pain it was going to be to contest the other will, and perfectly ruined the sister's attempt to cause a rift.

Sister? What sister?

[zolotiyeruki]

that is some NEXT LEVEL petty stuff

SUCH POINTS to the brothers, though. They probably knew first-hand exactly how much of a pain it was going to be to contest the other will, and perfectly ruined the sister's attempt to cause a rift.

Sister? What sister?

The sister who died and left two conflicting wills :)

[No Name Guy]

In re the two wills:  Easy....which one was dated later?  Boilerplate in any will is to revoke earlier ones.

If they were dated the same....it sounds like malpractice on the part of the lawyer that drew them up.

[Dicey]

that is some NEXT LEVEL petty stuff

SUCH POINTS to the brothers, though. They probably knew first-hand exactly how much of a pain it was going to be to contest the other will, and perfectly ruined the sister's attempt to cause a rift.

Sister? What sister?

The sister who died and left two conflicting wills :)

<<Head in hands, moaning: Oh, I can't keep up.>> Duh: Their sister. Thank you.

[Jakejake]

SUCH POINTS to the brothers, though. They probably knew first-hand exactly how much of a pain it was going to be to contest the other will, and perfectly ruined the sister's attempt to cause a rift.

It's equally likely that the aunt was starting to have some sort of cognitive decline and was confused about the two of them in some way. My mom's starting to get to that point, for example complaining to my sister recently about how she always thought I was so awful doing a particular thing. Except the thing she didn't like about me was actually something my sister's been doing; not me!  Luckily my sister and I have a sense of humor about it, but I can see how false memories could leave someone confusing two relatives, or forgetting they'd already made a will.

[TheGrimSqueaker]

SUCH POINTS to the brothers, though. They probably knew first-hand exactly how much of a pain it was going to be to contest the other will, and perfectly ruined the sister's attempt to cause a rift.

It's equally likely that the aunt was starting to have some sort of cognitive decline and was confused about the two of them in some way. My mom's starting to get to that point, for example complaining to my sister recently about how she always thought I was so awful doing a particular thing. Except the thing she didn't like about me was actually something my sister's been doing; not me!  Luckily my sister and I have a sense of humor about it, but I can see how false memories could leave someone confusing two relatives, or forgetting they'd already made a will.

Indeed. My great-aunt, who was supported financially by my parents and my mother in particular for many years, left everything to a niece who physically resembled her but who had not helped at all during her illness and last decline. It was extremely ironic to see assets provided by my parents given to a relative that despised them.

[farmerj]

A bit more confusion than necessary, and caused by me. She was actually a great-great aunt, so not their sister after all.

It's equally likely that the aunt was starting to have some sort of cognitive decline and was confused about the two of them in some way.

She definitely was on the decline, but she always beforehand went back and forth on who was In and who was Out. The lurid family theory was that the multiple wills were a last bid for notoriety. While she didn't have any children, there are many stories about her that are being carried on to future generations.

[rachellynn99]

I married into a family with 5 siblings, my husband is the youngest by about 16 years. I noticed that at his mother's home there were little tiny notes taped on things such as the china cabinet, lamps, vases etc. Nothing you would notice just by being in the home, but the more time I spent there and helped organize, clean, decorate for Christmas etc. I certainly noticed them. The 4 sisters and one granddaughter were placing claim on what they wanted when my in laws died. I found it distasteful and just really strange.

[geekette]

Actually this is a "thing" in our family, too, and encouraged.  Things that are special to someone are generally marked (with permission, of course).  Nothing of great consequence, but my name's on a mantle clock I remember working on with my Dad as a child (okay, Dad worked, I watched).  I'm pretty sure my sisters have something with their name on it as well. 

[appleblossom]

Actually this is a "thing" in our family, too, and encouraged.  Things that are special to someone are generally marked (with permission, of course).  Nothing of great consequence, but my name's on a mantle clock I remember working on with my Dad as a child (okay, Dad worked, I watched).  I'm pretty sure my sisters have something with their name on it as well.

To an extent this was a thing with my grandmother's house as well. Things were specifically earmarked by her for particular people, and when she died for the most part they went there, except there weren't notes and my aunt got carried away and gave some things to the wrong people.
But if it is just people claiming things, rather than the owner assigning them, its a bit distasteful.

[Taran Wanderer]

Actually this is a "thing" in our family, too, and encouraged.  Things that are special to someone are generally marked (with permission, of course).  Nothing of great consequence, but my name's on a mantle clock I remember working on with my Dad as a child (okay, Dad worked, I watched).  I'm pretty sure my sisters have something with their name on it as well.

To an extent this was a thing with my grandmother's house as well. Things were specifically earmarked by her for particular people, and when she died for the most part they went there, except there weren't notes and my aunt got carried away and gave some things to the wrong people.
But if it is just people claiming things, rather than the owner assigning them, its a bit distasteful.

This was a thing in our family as well.  When my grandparents died, we all went in and picked up the things that we had previously claimed.  Then we sat down as a family and talked about some of the larger things like the piano, dining room table, and other large items.  Those things that were wanted were removed.  Then we held an estate sale and the house was cleaned out.  I mean, it was amazing, all the stuff that our family rejected just disappeared out the door like it was gold or something.

I really wanted one of the sewing machines because, really, how can you live your life without a sewing machine?  And I picked up a few picture frames and knickknacks, mostly things that I had given to my grandparents as Christmas gifts over the years.  The whole labeling thing made it really easy.

[Villanelle]

My mom knows I would like (and has said I should get) her charm bracelet and the cedar hope chest she got from her mother as a present when mom was young.  The bracelet likely has some monetary value because it is gold, but I'm sure it is >$1000 (perhaps even half that; I really have no idea what the going rate for gold is compared to the amount in a bracelet and charms).  The chest is a nice piece of solid wood furniture, but it's not a precious antique, so again, probably not more than a couple hundred dollars, if that.

I do wish mom would put this in writing, but I understand why she doesn't want to.  My sister is a reasonable person, and I know she couldn't quibble over the value of the items, but if she happens to want the same items, then it could get difficult, I suppose.  There may be other things that I'd be able to use, but those are the only things I'd be disappointed if I don't get.  I can't think of a tactful way to ask mom to tell sister, or write it down, so I guess I'll just have to hope for the best. 

[merula]

Continuing the anti-drama stories:

My grandma died when I was 2. Some of her books that she wanted my dad to have been on shelves in their house, more or less untouched, ever since.

Except for her copy of Jane Eyre, which I found and read when I was around 12, and became my favorite novel. I've mentioned a few times how much I loved reading her copy of the book, and how much I'd love to have it, but every time it seemed to go in one ear and out the other. To the point that, if they were downsizing, they might get rid of it without realizing what it meant to me.

So I enlisted my sister to suggest that they could give me that book for Christmas and I'd love it. And they did. And both me and my dad were tearing up on Christmas morning, me out of gratitude and he thinking how much Grandma would've loved my love of books.

If I get nothing else from my parents, I will still be happy.

[K-ice]

That's a great book story.

I have mixed feelings about the naming of items.

But at the same time it's good to let people know you appreciate stuff.

My mom had some of my grandmother's clothse. I liked one particular long dress with a cape trimmed in fur. My fur feelings are mixed & I would not buy fur today but this was a vintage, classy piece.

Sadly, I found out it got donated when my mom was decluttering. :(

[mustachepungoeshere]

My mom had some of my grandmother's clothse. I liked one particular long dress with a cape trimmed in fur. My fur feelings are mixed & I would not buy fur today but this was a vintage, classy piece.

Sadly, I found out it got donated when my mom was decluttering. :(

When my grandfather sold his farm and began preparing to downsize, Mum mentioned that his granddaughters (including me) would like his racing silks.

His response? "Oh, I burned those."

Not sentimental about possessions, the old man.

[Playing with Fire UK]

We got a random call from someone who had bought a photo album from a charity shop and found all our family photos in it. They'd tracked us down to give them back. It was really good of them. These covered generations and most of them were before photography went digital so they were a unique collection.

My unsentimental family had tossed them all out while decluttering.

[GilbertB]

Gramps dies.
I take time to go there to help my mum and aunt.
(Side note, my mum and aunt are borderline poverty level, but educated)
I go with her around the house, and she is interested in the big value items.
But I notice that my gramps has accumulated maybe 200 to 400 tech/history magazines from the 1950 to 1980, i tell her that those are worth 5 to 20€ each on EBay, so at least 2000€ net.
Same thing with books and other things, all in all a minimum of 15000€, and I also offer to buy some books that have a sentimental value above EBay prices etc.
I also offer that between my sister, cousin (aunt's daughter) we take charge of that and only skim enough to pay postage on the items as neither my Aunt or Mum "do" internet...

Aunt starts to get $ signs in her eyes, starts getting suspicious, says that me coming to help is strange, and finally says to my mum that I'm dishonest and probably there to steal them...
And she shuts the whole thing down..
At that moment, my sister, brother, cousin and I had started to create a common EBay account so we could divide the work and help our Mums by donating time and hassle:
- Sister would do the clothes as she is good at floging that.
- Brother would do all the small but valuable.
- Cousin would do all the big items (very nice furniture, decorative items...)
- I would do the magazines and books...
Both brother and sister had to cancel booked flights etc, when aunt lost it.

In the end, we salvaged bits and bobs, and the big ticket items got sold way too cheap...
Both my mum were totally incapable of selling anything else...
The books and furniture got donated, the rest went in the trash.

All in all my mum and aunt pissed on at least 20 000€ (one year of post tax earning each) because they could not trust their kids... All of us have jobs, families and no history of shenanigans, so I am lost for words about their behaviour and some valuable (to me) heirlooms of my gramp are in some trash heap somewhere.

Pathetic.

[StarBright]

We got a random call from someone who had bought a photo album from a charity shop and found all our family photos in it. They'd tracked us down to give them back. It was really good of them. These covered generations and most of them were before photography went digital so they were a unique collection.

My unsentimental family had tossed them all out while decluttering.

That is amazing! Little bits like this often remind me of how GOOD people are - love it and thanks for sharing.

[infogoon]

We got a random call from someone who had bought a photo album from a charity shop and found all our family photos in it. They'd tracked us down to give them back. It was really good of them. These covered generations and most of them were before photography went digital so they were a unique collection.

My unsentimental family had tossed them all out while decluttering.

An old work friend of mine went to his father's house to visit -- when he got there, his dad was decluttering the downstairs living space and had tossed his wedding portrait in the garbage.

"Dad, you can't throw out your wedding picture. That's been over the fireplace forever."

"Eh, fuck it. She's dead."

I thought I was unsentimental, but that was a whole new level.

[gaja]

We got a random call from someone who had bought a photo album from a charity shop and found all our family photos in it. They'd tracked us down to give them back. It was really good of them. These covered generations and most of them were before photography went digital so they were a unique collection.

My unsentimental family had tossed them all out while decluttering.

An old work friend of mine went to his father's house to visit -- when he got there, his dad was decluttering the downstairs living space and had tossed his wedding portrait in the garbage.

"Dad, you can't throw out your wedding picture. That's been over the fireplace forever."

"Eh, fuck it. She's dead."

I thought I was unsentimental, but that was a whole new level.

This is the best one yet. Don't know if that level of living in the now is something to strive for or something to avoid...

[firelight]

We got a random call from someone who had bought a photo album from a charity shop and found all our family photos in it. They'd tracked us down to give them back. It was really good of them. These covered generations and most of them were before photography went digital so they were a unique collection.

My unsentimental family had tossed them all out while decluttering.

An old work friend of mine went to his father's house to visit -- when he got there, his dad was decluttering the downstairs living space and had tossed his wedding portrait in the garbage.

"Dad, you can't throw out your wedding picture. That's been over the fireplace forever."

"Eh, fuck it. She's dead."

I thought I was unsentimental, but that was a whole new level.

This is the best one yet. Don't know if that level of living in the now is something to strive for or something to avoid...

I can totally see my husband do it. He doesn't like any of our wedding pics. If anything, he'd hang on to the engagement pics and candid shots of us since those are his favorites.

[Playing with Fire UK]

We got a random call from someone who had bought a photo album from a charity shop and found all our family photos in it. They'd tracked us down to give them back. It was really good of them. These covered generations and most of them were before photography went digital so they were a unique collection.

My unsentimental family had tossed them all out while decluttering.

That is amazing! Little bits like this often remind me of how GOOD people are - love it and thanks for sharing.

Yes, it was a wonderful thing to do. She explained all the things that she'd done (looking up marriage records, school uniforms, churches) to track us down.

[Kitsune]

We got a random call from someone who had bought a photo album from a charity shop and found all our family photos in it. They'd tracked us down to give them back. It was really good of them. These covered generations and most of them were before photography went digital so they were a unique collection.

My unsentimental family had tossed them all out while decluttering.

An old work friend of mine went to his father's house to visit -- when he got there, his dad was decluttering the downstairs living space and had tossed his wedding portrait in the garbage.

"Dad, you can't throw out your wedding picture. That's been over the fireplace forever."

"Eh, fuck it. She's dead."

I thought I was unsentimental, but that was a whole new level.

This is the best one yet. Don't know if that level of living in the now is something to strive for or something to avoid...

I can totally see my husband do it. He doesn't like any of our wedding pics. If anything, he'd hang on to the engagement pics and candid shots of us since those are his favorites.

Meanwhile, my husband has our wedding picture on his desk and a different one as one of the backgrounds to his phone, and I recently overheard him explaining to our toddler "that's a picture from when I married your mama! Isn't she so pretty?"  :)

THAT said, we don't have any engagement pics, and fairly few candid pics since I'm usually the one with the camera, so...

[talltexan]

If you keep one picture of someone, you probably want it to be the wedding one. It's the one you paid the most to get, after all.

[rockstache]

I recently overheard him explaining to our toddler "that's a picture from when I married your mama! Isn't she so pretty?"  :)

MELT!

The only thing I remember my dad ever saying about my mom was something about hoping she went skydiving without a parachute. They're not together anymore.

[BabyShark]

I love this thread.

I've got some impending potential drama brewing.

Bit of background: my dad stopped speaking to his brother and sister probably 15 and 10 years ago respectively. They both live in the same state as their dad, but my immediate family all lived in a different state. Of the three, my dad was the one who took care of grandpa, making sure he was covered, paying for his house and all that even when my aunt moved in with grandpa rent free during her separation and eventual divorce. Grandpa didn't like the idea of my dad just giving him money so he signed promissory notes indicating that the money dad gave him would be paid back by grandpa's estate. The notes were clear and they were even mentioned in grandpa's will. Dad was supposed to be the executor of grandpa'a estate.

Fast forward to December 2015 and my dad passes away after a decently lengthy cancer battle that eventually went to his brain, making him bed ridden and not all with it. Grandpa is still living. My mom has decided she's going to enforce the promissory notes against grandpa's eventual estate, not because she'll need the money, but to prevent aunt and uncle, who suddenly reappeared to play the roles of grieving siblings at my dad's service, from getting the money. Mom thinks they don't know about the notes, I'm not too sure. Grandpa claims about six months before dad died, dad told him he was ripping up the notes and not to worry about them.

Not a week after my dad's funeral, we learn that uncle has taken grandpa to get his will redrafted. Not looking forward to the near certain drama over this. Even without the notes, the estate won't be worth much. I've been trying to convince my mom it's not worth fighting with my aunt and uncle but I've gotten nowhere.

[mustachepungoeshere]

I love this thread.

I've got some impending potential drama brewing.

Bit of background: my dad stopped speaking to his brother and sister probably 15 and 10 years ago respectively. They both live in the same state as their dad, but my immediate family all lived in a different state. Of the three, my dad was the one who took care of grandpa, making sure he was covered, paying for his house and all that even when my aunt moved in with grandpa rent free during her separation and eventual divorce. Grandpa didn't like the idea of my dad just giving him money so he signed promissory notes indicating that the money dad gave him would be paid back by grandpa's estate. The notes were clear and they were even mentioned in grandpa's will. Dad was supposed to be the executor of grandpa'a estate.

Fast forward to December 2015 and my dad passes away after a decently lengthy cancer battle that eventually went to his brain, making him bed ridden and not all with it. Grandpa is still living. My mom has decided she's going to enforce the promissory notes against grandpa's eventual estate, not because she'll need the money, but to prevent aunt and uncle, who suddenly reappeared to play the roles of grieving siblings at my dad's service, from getting the money. Mom thinks they don't know about the notes, I'm not too sure. Grandpa claims about six months before dad died, dad told him he was ripping up the notes and not to worry about them.

Not a week after my dad's funeral, we learn that uncle has taken grandpa to get his will redrafted. Not looking forward to the near certain drama over this. Even without the notes, the estate won't be worth much. I've been trying to convince my mom it's not worth fighting with my aunt and uncle but I've gotten nowhere.

Wow, I read this with interest expecting the aunt and uncle to be trouble, but I did not expect that twist from Grandpa!

[Metric Mouse]

If you keep one picture of someone, you probably want it to be the wedding one. It's the one you paid the most to get, after all.

One can certainly give up a lot for those photos.

[BabyShark]

I love this thread.

I've got some impending potential drama brewing.

Bit of background: my dad stopped speaking to his brother and sister probably 15 and 10 years ago respectively. They both live in the same state as their dad, but my immediate family all lived in a different state. Of the three, my dad was the one who took care of grandpa, making sure he was covered, paying for his house and all that even when my aunt moved in with grandpa rent free during her separation and eventual divorce. Grandpa didn't like the idea of my dad just giving him money so he signed promissory notes indicating that the money dad gave him would be paid back by grandpa's estate. The notes were clear and they were even mentioned in grandpa's will. Dad was supposed to be the executor of grandpa'a estate.

Fast forward to December 2015 and my dad passes away after a decently lengthy cancer battle that eventually went to his brain, making him bed ridden and not all with it. Grandpa is still living. My mom has decided she's going to enforce the promissory notes against grandpa's eventual estate, not because she'll need the money, but to prevent aunt and uncle, who suddenly reappeared to play the roles of grieving siblings at my dad's service, from getting the money. Mom thinks they don't know about the notes, I'm not too sure. Grandpa claims about six months before dad died, dad told him he was ripping up the notes and not to worry about them.

Not a week after my dad's funeral, we learn that uncle has taken grandpa to get his will redrafted. Not looking forward to the near certain drama over this. Even without the notes, the estate won't be worth much. I've been trying to convince my mom it's not worth fighting with my aunt and uncle but I've gotten nowhere.

Wow, I read this with interest expecting the aunt and uncle to be trouble, but I did not expect that twist from Grandpa!

Yea, we're not sure when this would have happened because those six months would have been when dad was at his least coherent and was only really able to have conversations for a few minutes at a time.  He never mentioned this to my mom which is what makes it suspicious because when he was with it, they talked a lot about future plans since it was clear he was deteriorating pretty rapidly. 

Uncle and dad also owned a building in the city in which my parents live, even though they didn't speak, dad would still send him his portion of the rental income every month or so.  Again, less than a week after dad's death, uncle starts hounding mom about selling the building because uncle wants his money from it.  Mom eventually bought uncle out, so that headache has ended fortunately.  It's just going to be a nightmare. 

And I'm sure if one of my cousins or even my aunt/uncle was telling this story, it'd be all about how my mom is an evil in-law.  Really, it's just a crappy situation all around because my dad was supposed to be here to mediate with his family and now my mom is left doing it and she never really got along with her in-laws in the first place.

[Spiffy]

Actually this is a "thing" in our family, too, and encouraged.  Things that are special to someone are generally marked (with permission, of course).  Nothing of great consequence, but my name's on a mantle clock I remember working on with my Dad as a child (okay, Dad worked, I watched).  I'm pretty sure my sisters have something with their name on it as well.

This is a joke in my family. Whenever my parents get something new, my brothers or I say, "put my name on that!" Or if there is something really ugly my Mom asks,"Shall I put your name on this?" We all think it is hilarious and I do not doubt that we will find thing with our names actually on them after our parents are gone (a long time from now, hopefully). And we will laugh through the tears.

[CheapskateWife]

Actually this is a "thing" in our family, too, and encouraged.  Things that are special to someone are generally marked (with permission, of course).  Nothing of great consequence, but my name's on a mantle clock I remember working on with my Dad as a child (okay, Dad worked, I watched).  I'm pretty sure my sisters have something with their name on it as well.

This is a joke in my family. Whenever my parents get something new, my brothers or I say, "put my name on that!" Or if there is something really ugly my Mom asks,"Shall I put your name on this?" We all think it is hilarious and I do not doubt that we will find thing with our names actually on them after our parents are gone (a long time from now, hopefully). And we will laugh through the tears.

There is an artisan glass bowl in my Mom and Dad's house that is the most hideous thing I've ever seen; and gets used as a weapon to make us behave..."If you don't straighten up, I'm giving you the bowl."  Works every time.

[zolotiyeruki]

Actually this is a "thing" in our family, too, and encouraged.  Things that are special to someone are generally marked (with permission, of course).  Nothing of great consequence, but my name's on a mantle clock I remember working on with my Dad as a child (okay, Dad worked, I watched).  I'm pretty sure my sisters have something with their name on it as well.

This is a joke in my family. Whenever my parents get something new, my brothers or I say, "put my name on that!" Or if there is something really ugly my Mom asks,"Shall I put your name on this?" We all think it is hilarious and I do not doubt that we will find thing with our names actually on them after our parents are gone (a long time from now, hopefully). And we will laugh through the tears.

There is an artisan glass bowl in my Mom and Dad's house that is the most hideous thing I've ever seen; and gets used as a weapon to make us behave..."If you don't straighten up, I'm giving you the bowl."  Works every time.

Hmmm.  I wonder if my parents still have that pink hairbrush they used to spank us....  I want my name on that one!

[LeRainDrop]

Actually this is a "thing" in our family, too, and encouraged.  Things that are special to someone are generally marked (with permission, of course).  Nothing of great consequence, but my name's on a mantle clock I remember working on with my Dad as a child (okay, Dad worked, I watched).  I'm pretty sure my sisters have something with their name on it as well.

This is a joke in my family. Whenever my parents get something new, my brothers or I say, "put my name on that!" Or if there is something really ugly my Mom asks,"Shall I put your name on this?" We all think it is hilarious and I do not doubt that we will find thing with our names actually on them after our parents are gone (a long time from now, hopefully). And we will laugh through the tears.

There is an artisan glass bowl in my Mom and Dad's house that is the most hideous thing I've ever seen; and gets used as a weapon to make us behave..."If you don't straighten up, I'm giving you the bowl."  Works every time.

Hmmm.  I wonder if my parents still have that pink hairbrush they used to spank us....  I want my name on that one!

My mom gave me her wooden spoon, though she's still alive and well :-)

[CheapskateWife]

Actually this is a "thing" in our family, too, and encouraged.  Things that are special to someone are generally marked (with permission, of course).  Nothing of great consequence, but my name's on a mantle clock I remember working on with my Dad as a child (okay, Dad worked, I watched).  I'm pretty sure my sisters have something with their name on it as well.

This is a joke in my family. Whenever my parents get something new, my brothers or I say, "put my name on that!" Or if there is something really ugly my Mom asks,"Shall I put your name on this?" We all think it is hilarious and I do not doubt that we will find thing with our names actually on them after our parents are gone (a long time from now, hopefully). And we will laugh through the tears.

There is an artisan glass bowl in my Mom and Dad's house that is the most hideous thing I've ever seen; and gets used as a weapon to make us behave..."If you don't straighten up, I'm giving you the bowl."  Works every time.

Hmmm.  I wonder if my parents still have that pink hairbrush they used to spank us....  I want my name on that one!

My mom gave me her wooden spoon, though she's still alive and well :-)

My actual inheritance when my dear Grandfather passed away was a stuffed piranha...its 30 years old and still sticky.  Grandpa got it as a joke for Christmas from his best friend, and kept it in his office for years.  He is hideous, and I love it.

[mtn]

Actually this is a "thing" in our family, too, and encouraged.  Things that are special to someone are generally marked (with permission, of course).  Nothing of great consequence, but my name's on a mantle clock I remember working on with my Dad as a child (okay, Dad worked, I watched).  I'm pretty sure my sisters have something with their name on it as well.

This is a joke in my family. Whenever my parents get something new, my brothers or I say, "put my name on that!" Or if there is something really ugly my Mom asks,"Shall I put your name on this?" We all think it is hilarious and I do not doubt that we will find thing with our names actually on them after our parents are gone (a long time from now, hopefully). And we will laugh through the tears.

There is an artisan glass bowl in my Mom and Dad's house that is the most hideous thing I've ever seen; and gets used as a weapon to make us behave..."If you don't straighten up, I'm giving you the bowl."  Works every time.

Hmmm.  I wonder if my parents still have that pink hairbrush they used to spank us....  I want my name on that one!

My mom gave me her wooden spoon, though she's still alive and well :-)

While I do not--and my parents did not--condone hitting kids, my mother broke her wooden spoon on my brothers head. But at 13 he was bigger than her, and he should have known better than to say that word in front of her. He deserved it.

[Cowardly Toaster]

A friend of mine's sister sued her stepmother after their dad died.  She was convinced that he was a secretly a millionaire and that they stepmother had been stealing his money and hiding it in off-shore accounts and that she had made him change his will, etc.  She even had my friend and her family followed by a private detective because she was convinced that they were helping the stepmother.  She didn't think his wife deserved anything even though they had been married for over 20 years at this point.  In reality, he left enough to for his widows to live out her last years in comfort, but not enormous wealth by any means.  The stepmother was pretty kind in general and had offered for both my friend and her sister to come and get all the family heirlooms so that they would stay in the family.

The worst thing about the whole thing is that the sister married into a wealthy family, lives in a huge house, and doesn't need a dime.  On the advice of her attorney, the stepmother offered a small amount of money (less than 10K) to make the whole thing go away and keep her from dragging her husband's name through the mud in the small town where they lived.  The whole thing was just sad.

This seems to be a thing, kids thinking that their thrifty parents were rich. When my very poor grandma died, my aunts and uncles accused my mother of stealing the chest of gold pieces that they just knew my grandmother had. The whole thing was absurd of course.

My parents bought an old house from the estate of a rather eccentric old lady. We started working on the house, and some of the lady's kids stopped by to probe us to see if we found anything in the remodel.

[mtn]

Just heard a good one from my FIL:

He had an aunt who was the head buyer for womens clothing at Dillards. She made good money. She married a career Navy man. He made good money. They never had kids, and I don't think that he had very many relatives.

This women was always a mean old [bad word] to everyone. She'd visit and tell my FIL that he wasn't visiting his mother (her sister) enough--even though his mother had Alzheimers, couldn't remember him, was in a nursing home, and lived 2 hours away. And my FIL would come every single weekend and spend 4 hours minimum with a woman who had no idea who he was. She'd tell everyone what they were doing wrong, how they couldn't cook, etc. No body liked her; a few hadn't spoken with her in a long time out of feuds. Well, she outlives her husband, and finally passes away in the early 90's. My FIL, to his surprise, is left $12,000! So are MOST of his cousins--but the supposed favorite cousin of the Aunt's was left nothing! Not that he needed it as he was retired and without kids, but still!

My FIL's one cousin kept asking my FIL "why the hell did she give me and you money? She hated us!"

[TheGrimSqueaker]

This seems to be a thing, kids thinking that their thrifty parents were rich.

I think a lot of people underestimate the amount of money and resources spent on them growing up, especially with regard to the opportunity cost they created for the parents. Much of the spending and time investment happens when the parents are in their twenties and thirties, and that's when a person gets the biggest bang for the buck from earning and investing.

[gimp]

Just heard a good one from my FIL:

He had an aunt who was the head buyer for womens clothing at Dillards. She made good money. She married a career Navy man. He made good money. They never had kids, and I don't think that he had very many relatives.

This women was always a mean old [bad word] to everyone. She'd visit and tell my FIL that he wasn't visiting his mother (her sister) enough--even though his mother had Alzheimers, couldn't remember him, was in a nursing home, and lived 2 hours away. And my FIL would come every single weekend and spend 4 hours minimum with a woman who had no idea who he was. She'd tell everyone what they were doing wrong, how they couldn't cook, etc. No body liked her; a few hadn't spoken with her in a long time out of feuds. Well, she outlives her husband, and finally passes away in the early 90's. My FIL, to his surprise, is left $12,000! So are MOST of his cousins--but the supposed favorite cousin of the Aunt's was left nothing! Not that he needed it as he was retired and without kids, but still!

My FIL's one cousin kept asking my FIL "why the hell did she give me and you money? She hated us!"

Maybe her one final fuck-you was to get people to squabble over the money. "I'll cut out the one I like, give money to the ones I don't, this'll be a riot. Fuck 'em."

[Cowardly Toaster]

Sharing this one on behalf of my boss' wife, as it was told to me after a few beers - fake names used just to prevent any confusion since it all sounded a little too perfect to be true.

As a young man, Grandpa Al came to Australia with nothing but a suitcase and a dream. In that suitcase was a https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stradivarius violin however, so he had that going for him. Skip forward a couple decades and Grandpa Al has become older and frailer and it's up to his youngest daughter Belle to look after him in his final years since everyone else has moved interstate.

When Grandpa Al finally passes most of the family hasn't spoken to him in months and despite having 5 children, only a few bother to show up to his funeral.

Now, what DOES get their attention is that stradivarius violin that he'd kept locked up tight. Probably worth millions, the rest of his estate consists of his humble abode, its contents and the land it sat on. Something like 100k all up and his will is a barebones matter saying that everything is to be split evenly between the 5 children.

Immediately, children who didn't bother to show up to the funeral are calling Belle and pestering her about the Violin which had been Grandpa Al's pride and joy but never specifically mentioned in the will or insured because he wasn't a banking sort of guy. Everyone insists they had been promised it verbally and within days Belle is being pestered by four different lawyers and urged to take her own due to the amount of money involved.

By the time the dust settles, the family that was once distant is now fractured, family members and their spouses have lied to each other, had screaming matches, etc etc. Four lawyers' fees taken out of the estate have reduced it down to a fraction of its meagre amount and the Stradivarius is finally retrieved and valued at... less than a grand.

Turns out it was a fake. Either Grandpa Al had been swindled back in his 20s or he had bought the thing more recently and just spun a very convincing tall tale without realising how much strife it would cause.

Long story short, most of the family still won't talk to each other and the fake violin is sitting in a dusty cupboard somewhere in Belle's new house.

Now THAT is a great story with a great moral. Sounds like an old folk tale almost.

[shelivesthedream]

This seems to be a thing, kids thinking that their thrifty parents were rich.

I think a lot of people underestimate the amount of money and resources spent on them growing up, especially with regard to the opportunity cost they created for the parents. Much of the spending and time investment happens when the parents are in their twenties and thirties, and that's when a person gets the biggest bang for the buck from earning and investing.

I think a lot of people also underestimate how expensive being old is. Any kind of professional care, be it a full-on nursing home or just someone who pops in to help with the shopping, gets expensive fast. If there's anything about our financial plans that keeps me up at night, it's the idea of burning through all our money in a few years of end-of-life care and then running out. My parents' house is worth a ton of money, almost a million pounds, but I can well imagine my generation not seeing any of it because of my parents needing to sell and spend all the money on just being really old. So even if there was money when the parent retired, it's not necessarily there when they die.