Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.

[SpeedReader]

I want to say something very awful about SIL, but I won't.  But really, what is wrong with these people?

Taran Wanderer: Oh, please feel free to say it.  :-)

I can't do it. It involves an uncouth participle and an unsayable word that rhymes with an action from American football.
[/quote]

You're spot on.  :-)

[TomTX]

it's a terrible job for the trustee sibling to have--all the more so because the will & trust almost never specifies that they should get paid anything for the work!

If we die before our children are 18, our assets go to a trust for their care.  Our will specifies who will care for the kids, and it certainly spells out "all reasonable" expenses to the trustee for the trouble of taking them in.

The common problem with trust documents seems to be the exact opposite of what you've identified.  It's not that trustees get saddled with work and no pay for it, it's that trustees get to drain too much of the trust funds for themselves because the definition of "reasonable and appropriate" expenses for the trustee is so easy to manipulate. 

In cases where the trustee is the beneficiary, that's not a problem.  But in the case of a trust like ours that is set up to care for our kids, I'm pretty confident the trustee/godparent is going to immediately spend down our assets on a fancy car and a new home and justify it as "necessary" because now she has these extra kids.  If my wife and I both die, I'm sure my kids will live in a very fancy house for the next few years and then be penniless and on their own at age 18.

As with others, we split physical custody of our children (nearby friends first, MiniTX is friends with their kids, we see them a couple times a week. Sister as backup) - and financial custody. A different friend likes kids (teaches them martial arts part time) - but doesn't want any. She's by far the best with money. Widest knowledge, most MMM. With the friends, we all have each others's house keys.

[HairyUpperLip]

Later we learned she’d told her daughters that DH shouldn’t get any heirlooms because we don’t have children. 

No surprise, DH hasn’t spoken to her since.

Geez - that's some crazy shit.

How old are the SIL kids? Don't they care/wonder why they stopped talking to their uncle after their grandmother died?

[With This Herring]

When my maternal grandparents passed away they left all sentimental, generational family heirlooms to my uncle as he was the only son. In addition to letters and pictures was a family bible that had a handwritten account of births and deaths dating back over two hundred years as well as a handwritten account of the family's attempt to settle their farm land when they immigrated to the US (very cool).

My mother, the executor of the estate, was heartbroken to see my uncle get this family bible but stuck to the letter of my grandparents' will and doled out everything as they wanted.

Years later my uncle has blown through his money, lost his job, forgot to pay insurance on his house (in a flood plain), which was subsequently flooded, stopped paying his mortgage and eventually the bank was going to tear down the house as it was too damaged to salvage.

My mother and one of my aunts agreed to help him remove a few items from the home before it was razed (he had lost his license at that point) but on the appointed day he was MIA. My mother sat waiting for him for hours, just stewing over her brother's irresponsibility.  Finally, she marched into the house, found the family bible and took it home.

The house (and everything in it) were gone by the end of the week but my mom had the bible cleaned and repaired by a professional book restorer and now it is safely tucked away in my parents' home. If my uncle ever mentions it I know she will give it back to him but I doubt he even remembers that he once had it.

I was not expecting that bittersweet ending.  What a relief that your mother now has it!  Maybe she can make copies of the history pages for your aunts to keep.

[SpeedReader]

Later we learned she’d told her daughters that DH shouldn’t get any heirlooms because we don’t have children. 

No surprise, DH hasn’t spoken to her since.

Geez - that's some crazy shit.

How old are the SIL kids? Don't they care/wonder why they stopped talking to their uncle after their grandmother died?

Her kids are all grown; we have occasional contact with them.  One of her daughters has also stopped talking to her, though not just over this.

[hoping2retire35]

Approximately 13 years ago, my husband's paternal grandfather dies. My future husband moves into his home and takes on the daunting process of clearing out all his belongings. Grandfather left his home and property to his two kids, my husband's dad and aunt. My husband's dad eventually decides he and his wife need to move into the house as they have both lost their jobs on the opposite coast and feel like their job prospects may be better here.  Future husband moves out, they move in.

Apparently the Grandfather actually wanted the property to go to the 4 grandsons but the will was never updated. So, Father-in-law buys out his sister and her two sons, and the property now belongs to him and his two sons. Father-in-law then decides that it will be most lucrative to divide the property into 4 separate parcels and sell/build an investment property on the other 3 parcels, while he and his wife live in the home. In order to do this he needed money and my now husband, his brother, and my sign-off. Unfortunately, we were young and stupid and believed him when he told us we were just signing to get the lot lines redrawn. We were actually signing onto a loan to the tune of $149k to pay for all the fees associated with dividing up the lot. We found out about the loan while trying to refinance our home. We are essentially cosigners on this loan. What's even worse is that we have never seen the receipts for the actual cost of redrawing the lot lines and we now also know that they brought personal debt into this loan to the tune of 30k-50k. We have never been able to get our hands on that documentation either.

Just after the lot was subdivided the stock market crashed and the ability to sell those lots has been pretty much nonexistent. Husband's father and wife ONLY PAY THE INTEREST on this loan and have been for the past 10 years.

Some solutions my husband and I have offered are to 1) sell the lots and put the proceeds toward the loan, 2) we pay off the loan and they sign over all lots but the house to us, 3) have us all start paying down the loan based on our percentage of ownership, etc. There is no solution they're okay with. I should also mention that they carried over about 250k to the house they live in, which was paid off when they inherited it. Father-in-law is in his seventies, still working, and making zero progress on this loan. In the meantime they have bought a share in a condo in Hawaii and travel there twice a year.

I am so frustrated with this situation as it feels like there is no solution. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd be happy to hear them.

I would pretty much freak out if i found out someone did that to me. I would talk to a lawyer if I was you.

I take that back, if I was you I would waterboard my FIL.

ok, vented. Seriously though I would sue them.

[MayDay]

My paternal grandparents' deaths were full of drama. 

7 kids (catholic family).  4 of the kids had undiagnosed, untreated mental health issues.  By the time Grandpa had his stroke, Crazy Uncle still lived at home (in his 50's) had never held down a real job, did not use banks (money under mattress), etc. 

So Grandpa has massive stroke and Super Catholic Uncle gets him put on a feeding tube, and he hangs on for 6 months in "rehab" before finally passing.  Meanwhile, Crazy Uncle and Grandma live at home.  It quickly becomes apparent that Grandma had been slipping mentally and Grandpa had been covering for her.  Crazy Uncle is not covering for her.  He is "taking care of her" but not well.  Various attempts are made over a couple years to get him to do a better job of taking care of her in return for free room and board.  In the end, Super Catholic Uncle (the only non-mentally ill one who lives locally) is doing all bill paying, checking in, scheduling, etc and Crazy Uncle is basically just a warm body in the house making sure Grandma doesn't wander out into traffic. 

During these 2 years, there is much fighting amongst the siblings.  Some of them do not ever visit Grandma.  Some want the house sold and Grandma put in a home.  Some want Crazy Uncle to continue "caring" for Grandma because the house is the main asset and if she goes in a home, there will be no inheritance (note:  house was worth around 100K, and with 7 siblings it isn't like this is a ton of money we are talking about, making the whole thing even more sad).  Alcoholic Uncle is an antiques hoarder and there is suspicion that he is nicking things from the house.  Eventually Super Catholic Uncle, my dad, and Not-Crazy Aunt consult a lawyer, because getting Crazy Uncle out of the house is not super simple.  They finally put Grandma in a nursing home, get Crazy Uncle out of the house, divide the possessions (this could be a whole separate story).  By the time Grandma is in the home, she has lost a dangerous amount of weight, but  she gains some weight in the home, continues to be a bitch on wheels (the more she lost her mind, the more bitchy she got.  It was hilarious but also sad.  She also got more and more racist to the point we would not take her out to lunch and stuff like that, as she would say LOUD "why is that black person in here" and things like that).

Grandma is in the home for about a year, slowly declining physically, totally not there mentally, the house gets sold, she dies before all the money is used, and everyone gets their 10K inheritance.  Crazy Uncle is (we believe) getting some kind of section 8 type housing, Crazy Aunt*, Alcoholic Aunt, and Crazy Uncle #2 are basically never seen or heard from again.  Alcoholic Uncle did not show up for the funeral.  Crazy Uncle received his inheritance in cash.  Crazy Aunt does still send wild emails to the whole family periodically so we know she is still alive.  My dad, Not-Crazy Aunt, and Super Catholic Uncle still see each other a few times a year, with my dad and Not-Crazy Aunt being fairly close.  Most of us grandkids (except my siblings and Not Crazy Aunt's kids) no longer see or talk to each other.

All that for 10K and some antiques. 

*Tangential story about Crazy Aunt:  Her oldest child gets into the state university, which has a very solid theater and film program, and he gets 100% financial aid because they have no money and no assets (they used to own a floral shop, but ran it into the ground, lost their paid off house, and declared bankruptcy.  Totes the kind of people you want to be taking any kind of advice from).  But he really wants to go out to CA to some fancy film school because he is going to be a famous director!  For real! 

So Cousin does 2 years for free at State, then quits to come home and start at Fancy Private Film School in the fall.  He cannot actually get the loans for FPFS though, since neither he nor his parents can get them without some kind of co-signer.  Crazy Aunt tries to convince everyone in the family to help pay for it, and everyone is like "WTF, your kid had a full ride, NO".  So cousin works at the local movie theater for a couple years, then eventually somehow they scrape the money together and he moves out to Denver to go to some other "film "school" which is actually just an AA degree. Last I heard he is still working at a theater in Denver, never comes home (no money, no car) and has no other future plans.

[LPeters]

My paternal grandparents' deaths were full of drama. 

7 kids (catholic family).  4 of the kids had undiagnosed, untreated mental health issues.  By the time Grandpa had his stroke, Crazy Uncle still lived at home (in his 50's) had never held down a real job, did not use banks (money under mattress), etc. 

So Grandpa has massive stroke and Super Catholic Uncle gets him put on a feeding tube, and he hangs on for 6 months in "rehab" before finally passing.  Meanwhile, Crazy Uncle and Grandma live at home.  It quickly becomes apparent that Grandma had been slipping mentally and Grandpa had been covering for her.  Crazy Uncle is not covering for her.  He is "taking care of her" but not well.  Various attempts are made over a couple years to get him to do a better job of taking care of her in return for free room and board.  In the end, Super Catholic Uncle (the only non-mentally ill one who lives locally) is doing all bill paying, checking in, scheduling, etc and Crazy Uncle is basically just a warm body in the house making sure Grandma doesn't wander out into traffic. 

During these 2 years, there is much fighting amongst the siblings.  Some of them do not ever visit Grandma.  Some want the house sold and Grandma put in a home.  Some want Crazy Uncle to continue "caring" for Grandma because the house is the main asset and if she goes in a home, there will be no inheritance (note:  house was worth around 100K, and with 7 siblings it isn't like this is a ton of money we are talking about, making the whole thing even more sad).  Alcoholic Uncle is an antiques hoarder and there is suspicion that he is nicking things from the house.  Eventually Super Catholic Uncle, my dad, and Not-Crazy Aunt consult a lawyer, because getting Crazy Uncle out of the house is not super simple.  They finally put Grandma in a nursing home, get Crazy Uncle out of the house, divide the possessions (this could be a whole separate story).  By the time Grandma is in the home, she has lost a dangerous amount of weight, but  she gains some weight in the home, continues to be a bitch on wheels (the more she lost her mind, the more bitchy she got.  It was hilarious but also sad.  She also got more and more racist to the point we would not take her out to lunch and stuff like that, as she would say LOUD "why is that black person in here" and things like that).

Grandma is in the home for about a year, slowly declining physically, totally not there mentally, the house gets sold, she dies before all the money is used, and everyone gets their 10K inheritance.  Crazy Uncle is (we believe) getting some kind of section 8 type housing, Crazy Aunt*, Alcoholic Aunt, and Crazy Uncle #2 are basically never seen or heard from again.  Alcoholic Uncle did not show up for the funeral.  Crazy Uncle received his inheritance in cash.  Crazy Aunt does still send wild emails to the whole family periodically so we know she is still alive.  My dad, Not-Crazy Aunt, and Super Catholic Uncle still see each other a few times a year, with my dad and Not-Crazy Aunt being fairly close.  Most of us grandkids (except my siblings and Not Crazy Aunt's kids) no longer see or talk to each other.

All that for 10K and some antiques. 

*Tangential story about Crazy Aunt:  Her oldest child gets into the state university, which has a very solid theater and film program, and he gets 100% financial aid because they have no money and no assets (they used to own a floral shop, but ran it into the ground, lost their paid off house, and declared bankruptcy.  Totes the kind of people you want to be taking any kind of advice from).  But he really wants to go out to CA to some fancy film school because he is going to be a famous director!  For real! 

So Cousin does 2 years for free at State, then quits to come home and start at Fancy Private Film School in the fall.  He cannot actually get the loans for FPFS though, since neither he nor his parents can get them without some kind of co-signer.  Crazy Aunt tries to convince everyone in the family to help pay for it, and everyone is like "WTF, your kid had a full ride, NO".  So cousin works at the local movie theater for a couple years, then eventually somehow they scrape the money together and he moves out to Denver to go to some other "film "school" which is actually just an AA degree. Last I heard he is still working at a theater in Denver, never comes home (no money, no car) and has no other future plans.

Well, uh... bless their hearts. Hoo boy.

[mtn]

Gawd. So thankful that my family is not like that at all--with the exception of the large Catholic part of it.

We were at a small family party last week, or two weeks ago, I think there were only 7 cousins there, and we were talking about how weird it was that a lot of folks we know don't hang out and have fun with their families. Then my cousin had the point: We were the weird ones.

My wife has commented a few times how my parents don't really have any friends (not true, but they don't get together that often so she doesn't see it). But they do--its family. My wife sees her cousins and aunts/uncles and grandma about three times a year. I see my family about 1-2 times a month and we all vacation together (same town, same beach, 1/4 mile or 15 miles apart).

[Mermaid3011]

My own Inheritance drama is just beginning....

Father still alive gave a substantial amount to my sister and me 2 yrs ago as pre-inheritance. My sister had no plans for it and still doesn't. The money is literally losing value daily since it's in a savings account at the bank, at less than 2% interest eaten up by inflation.

I knew I would buy a condo and did that. Father being the way he is (frugal and a big supporter of RE investment) gave me about 10k more than her which I was happy for, but also felt bad towards her. She started to keep track which is totally fine, but now she is also asking what he gave me for my birthday and Christmas last year - to keep track.

I am afraid this is going to end up in trouble over the next 10 years.... and the real Drama that makes me sad is, that she isn't doing anything with her share to make it grow. But there is nothing I can do. She is grown up and knows better. :(

... to be continued...

[Threshkin]

My own Inheritance drama is just beginning....

Father still alive gave a substantial amount to my sister and me 2 yrs ago as pre-inheritance. My sister had no plans for it and still doesn't. The money is literally losing value daily since it's in a savings account at the bank, at less than 2% interest eaten up by inflation.

I knew I would buy a condo and did that. Father being the way he is (frugal and a big supporter of RE investment) gave me about 10k more than her which I was happy for, but also felt bad towards her. She started to keep track which is totally fine, but now she is also asking what he gave me for my birthday and Christmas last year - to keep track.

I am afraid this is going to end up in trouble over the next 10 years.... and the real Drama that makes me sad is, that she isn't doing anything with her share to make it grow. But there is nothing I can do. She is grown up and knows better. :(

... to be continued...

What your dad gives you for your birthday or Christmas is none of her business.

[Mermaid3011]

What your dad gives you for your birthday or Christmas is none of her business.

Thanks Threshkin - I agree and hummed and hahed my way out...

[Cookie78]

What your dad gives you for your birthday or Christmas is none of her business.

Thanks Threshkin - I agree and hummed and hahed my way out...

I'm quite pleased to hear this. :)

[Megma]

What your dad gives you for your birthday or Christmas is none of her business.

Thanks Threshkin - I agree and hummed and hahed my way out...

Wait, do we have the same sister?

My sister always asks who gave me how much bc she doesn't want to check were getting the same but she wants more than I got. Sometimes I tell her is none of her beeswax, other times I say crazy amounts to mess with her. 😃

[chouchouu]

My brother forged my mothers signature to have the title of one of her properties given to him. Recently he sold this property to an aunt. This brother used to bemoan the fact that he has siblings and if my mother had only had him her assets would not have to be divided up. My father who is divorced from my mother is quite the piece of work, he gloated that my mother never sought child support from him and she had the full financial burden of raising us four kids while he received the marital home. I no longer speak to him and my half sister has also cut him off and told him she would donate her inheritance to a cat shelter. My half brothers sister who has been on economic outpatient care her entire life will no doubt be kicking up a fuss when my childless aunt dies. I know that aunt is leaving significant assets to charities and an original of Australia's constitution to a library. I'm pretty sure sil will fight this and she somehow has all the valuable assets from when my grandmother passed away including a pair of Chippendale chairs which would be worth a small fortune. Despite her pretentions to class she squabbled with her sister over her own mothers valuables. That side of the family bemoan that my grandmother sold a valuable plot of land that is now worth several million. They are just obsessed with inheritance, I guess since they never bothered have proper careers themselves. Sil son had attended one of the most expensive prep schools in Australua (funded by gp I'm sure) but dropped out and last I heard from my father is selling valuables from his grandfather (on mothers side)for income. My father actually thinks this is a good business and is very proud of his grandson for being a prime mooch.

[Mermaid3011]

What your dad gives you for your birthday or Christmas is none of her business.

Thanks Threshkin - I agree and hummed and hahed my way out...

Wait, do we have the same sister?

My sister always asks who gave me how much bc she doesn't want to check were getting the same but she wants more than I got. Sometimes I tell her is none of her beeswax, other times I say crazy amounts to mess with her. 😃

LOL that's a good one too!
Maybe we do... :)

Last time I told her that the electronic transfer hadn't arrived yet... she didn't ask again... I suppose she got the point. I want her to get the same as I do! I really do - it's not fair to treat one kid different than the other - but I don't want her to be mad at ME if it's not the case.

[Mermaid3011]

My brother forged my mothers signature to have the title of one of her properties given to him. Recently he sold this property to an aunt. This brother used to bemoan the fact that he has siblings and if my mother had only had him her assets would not have to be divided up. My father who is divorced from my mother is quite the piece of work, he gloated that my mother never sought child support from him and she had the full financial burden of raising us four kids while he received the marital home. I no longer speak to him and my half sister has also cut him off and told him she would donate her inheritance to a cat shelter. My half brothers sister who has been on economic outpatient care her entire life will no doubt be kicking up a fuss when my childless aunt dies. I know that aunt is leaving significant assets to charities and an original of Australia's constitution to a library. I'm pretty sure sil will fight this and she somehow has all the valuable assets from when my grandmother passed away including a pair of Chippendale chairs which would be worth a small fortune. Despite her pretentions to class she squabbled with her sister over her own mothers valuables. That side of the family bemoan that my grandmother sold a valuable plot of land that is now worth several million. They are just obsessed with inheritance, I guess since they never bothered have proper careers themselves. Sil son had attended one of the most expensive prep schools in Australua (funded by gp I'm sure) but dropped out and last I heard from my father is selling valuables from his grandfather (on mothers side)for income. My father actually thinks this is a good business and is very proud of his grandson for being a prime mooch.

WOW - that's rich! How awful to be so spiteful!!!

Apparently greed is running in the other half of your family. Just stay away from it as far as you can. Don't get involved and if it gets too bad hire a lawyer and let them deal with it. I am so sorry though that you have to watch and listen to all this. :(

[Neustache]

My brother forged my mothers signature to have the title of one of her properties given to him. Recently he sold this property to an aunt. This brother used to bemoan the fact that he has siblings and if my mother had only had him her assets would not have to be divided up. My father who is divorced from my mother is quite the piece of work, he gloated that my mother never sought child support from him and she had the full financial burden of raising us four kids while he received the marital home. I no longer speak to him and my half sister has also cut him off and told him she would donate her inheritance to a cat shelter. My half brothers sister who has been on economic outpatient care her entire life will no doubt be kicking up a fuss when my childless aunt dies. I know that aunt is leaving significant assets to charities and an original of Australia's constitution to a library. I'm pretty sure sil will fight this and she somehow has all the valuable assets from when my grandmother passed away including a pair of Chippendale chairs which would be worth a small fortune. Despite her pretentions to class she squabbled with her sister over her own mothers valuables. That side of the family bemoan that my grandmother sold a valuable plot of land that is now worth several million. They are just obsessed with inheritance, I guess since they never bothered have proper careers themselves. Sil son had attended one of the most expensive prep schools in Australua (funded by gp I'm sure) but dropped out and last I heard from my father is selling valuables from his grandfather (on mothers side)for income. My father actually thinks this is a good business and is very proud of his grandson for being a prime mooch.

Don't things need to be notarized or witnessed?  How would someone get away with forging a title?  Maybe practices are different elsewhere...

[Paul der Krake]

My brother forged my mothers signature to have the title of one of her properties given to him. Recently he sold this property to an aunt.

How is this not fraud and theft?

Why didn't you all report his sorry ass to the competent authorities if he refused to sign it back?

[iris lily]

My own Inheritance drama is just beginning....

Father still alive gave a substantial amount to my sister and me 2 yrs ago as pre-inheritance. My sister had no plans for it and still doesn't. The money is literally losing value daily since it's in a savings account at the bank, at less than 2% interest eaten up by inflation.

I knew I would buy a condo and did that. Father being the way he is (frugal and a big supporter of RE investment) gave me about 10k more than her which I was happy for, but also felt bad towards her. She started to keep track which is totally fine, but now she is also asking what he gave me for my birthday and Christmas last year - to keep track.

I am afraid this is going to end up in trouble over the next 10 years.... and the real Drama that makes me sad is, that she isn't doing anything with her share to make it grow. But there is nothing I can do. She is grown up and knows better. :(

... to be continued...

What your dad gives you for your birthday or Christmas is none of her business.

And I would say that  what her sis does  with $10,000 is none of her business. It is certainly  not snarkworthy for this website for f someone puts aside the money, giventhe dropping Dow this week.

I think condos are pretty awful "investments"

To each his own.

[mm1970]

My paternal grandparents' deaths were full of drama. 

7 kids (catholic family).  4 of the kids had undiagnosed, untreated mental health issues.  By the time Grandpa had his stroke, Crazy Uncle still lived at home (in his 50's) had never held down a real job, did not use banks (money under mattress), etc. 

So Grandpa has massive stroke and Super Catholic Uncle gets him put on a feeding tube, and he hangs on for 6 months in "rehab" before finally passing.  Meanwhile, Crazy Uncle and Grandma live at home.  It quickly becomes apparent that Grandma had been slipping mentally and Grandpa had been covering for her.  Crazy Uncle is not covering for her.  He is "taking care of her" but not well.  Various attempts are made over a couple years to get him to do a better job of taking care of her in return for free room and board.  In the end, Super Catholic Uncle (the only non-mentally ill one who lives locally) is doing all bill paying, checking in, scheduling, etc and Crazy Uncle is basically just a warm body in the house making sure Grandma doesn't wander out into traffic. 

During these 2 years, there is much fighting amongst the siblings.  Some of them do not ever visit Grandma.  Some want the house sold and Grandma put in a home.  Some want Crazy Uncle to continue "caring" for Grandma because the house is the main asset and if she goes in a home, there will be no inheritance (note:  house was worth around 100K, and with 7 siblings it isn't like this is a ton of money we are talking about, making the whole thing even more sad).  Alcoholic Uncle is an antiques hoarder and there is suspicion that he is nicking things from the house.  Eventually Super Catholic Uncle, my dad, and Not-Crazy Aunt consult a lawyer, because getting Crazy Uncle out of the house is not super simple.  They finally put Grandma in a nursing home, get Crazy Uncle out of the house, divide the possessions (this could be a whole separate story).  By the time Grandma is in the home, she has lost a dangerous amount of weight, but  she gains some weight in the home, continues to be a bitch on wheels (the more she lost her mind, the more bitchy she got.  It was hilarious but also sad.  She also got more and more racist to the point we would not take her out to lunch and stuff like that, as she would say LOUD "why is that black person in here" and things like that).

Grandma is in the home for about a year, slowly declining physically, totally not there mentally, the house gets sold, she dies before all the money is used, and everyone gets their 10K inheritance.  Crazy Uncle is (we believe) getting some kind of section 8 type housing, Crazy Aunt*, Alcoholic Aunt, and Crazy Uncle #2 are basically never seen or heard from again.  Alcoholic Uncle did not show up for the funeral.  Crazy Uncle received his inheritance in cash.  Crazy Aunt does still send wild emails to the whole family periodically so we know she is still alive.  My dad, Not-Crazy Aunt, and Super Catholic Uncle still see each other a few times a year, with my dad and Not-Crazy Aunt being fairly close.  Most of us grandkids (except my siblings and Not Crazy Aunt's kids) no longer see or talk to each other.

All that for 10K and some antiques. 

*Tangential story about Crazy Aunt:  Her oldest child gets into the state university, which has a very solid theater and film program, and he gets 100% financial aid because they have no money and no assets (they used to own a floral shop, but ran it into the ground, lost their paid off house, and declared bankruptcy.  Totes the kind of people you want to be taking any kind of advice from).  But he really wants to go out to CA to some fancy film school because he is going to be a famous director!  For real! 

So Cousin does 2 years for free at State, then quits to come home and start at Fancy Private Film School in the fall.  He cannot actually get the loans for FPFS though, since neither he nor his parents can get them without some kind of co-signer.  Crazy Aunt tries to convince everyone in the family to help pay for it, and everyone is like "WTF, your kid had a full ride, NO".  So cousin works at the local movie theater for a couple years, then eventually somehow they scrape the money together and he moves out to Denver to go to some other "film "school" which is actually just an AA degree. Last I heard he is still working at a theater in Denver, never comes home (no money, no car) and has no other future plans.

Hooo wee wow.

Let's see, my family is also large and Catholic (you'll see my story on page 1, grandpa died, kids don't get money till his 2nd wife dies, she's almost 98 and still going strong). To put it in your terms:

Alcoholic uncle: died young, leaving his wife to raise 7 kids on her own.  She's amazing.  (Raised her kids by being a seamstress).
Normal awesome aunt: still kicking, really close with her kids and grandkids, she's my favorite.  Healthy, happy, and awesome.  Was good to her Step-mom
Crazy aunt: generally nice, but did not approve of the step-mom and marriage thing, got pretty bitter.  She died of something a couple of years ago.
Crazy uncle who WANTED HIS MONEY an HOUR after grandpa died:  he's not in the greatest of health.  He may die before step mom.
My mom was always supportive of step-mom.  She was the executor.  (My mom died of alcoholism a few years ago)
Mean uncle who also didn't approve of step-mom.  Well, at least he moved away?  He's still alive
Favorite uncle: worked the business so got his inheritance while grandpa was still alive.  Made a LOT more money just by being savvy with real estate.  Buy an old house, fix it up himself, sell it for a profit. Lather, rinse, repeat.  He does nice work.

[AlanStache]

given the dropping Dow this week.

I think condos are pretty awful "investments"

Buying high and selling low is much easier too.  It kind of all depends on where the condo is right, or like if one intended to own it and live in it.

As much as I love this thread I am very disappointed with the lack of stories about people finding adult themed VHS tapes labeled "Mattock season III" that are really of grandpa & grandpa with the next door neighbor and a jar of mayonnaise.

[JustGettingStarted1980]

Following, this is terrible and fun at the same time...

[sol]

As much as I love this thread I am very disappointed with the lack of stories about people finding adult themed VHS tapes labeled "Mattock season III" that are really of grandpa & grandpa with the next door neighbor and a jar of mayonnaise.

Your family is apparently a little spicier than mine.

One of my grandpas definitely had a VHS porn stash, but several of us knew where it was (poorly) hidden and it mysteriously disappeared several years before he died.  I like to think he had the foresight to to clean out his embarrassing stuff before his time came, in order to spare the family from any further gossip.

May we all be so thoughtful.

My other grandpa was diagnosed with severe emphysema and given a short time to live, while in his late 50s.  He started writing a letter for his wife, on his computer, and left a printed letter with his will that had instructions for her on how to find it.  He managed to keep it a secret while living another unexpected 14 years after that, and when she opened that letter on the computer it had 14 years of weekly messages to her, each describing how lucky he felt to have had that one additional week of experiences together and what they did that week that he most enjoyed.  As love letters go, I'll never compete with that.

[Sofa King]

My own Inheritance drama is just beginning....

Father still alive gave a substantial amount to my sister and me 2 yrs ago as pre-inheritance. My sister had no plans for it and still doesn't. The money is literally losing value daily since it's in a savings account at the bank, at less than 2% interest eaten up by inflation.

I knew I would buy a condo and did that. Father being the way he is (frugal and a big supporter of RE investment) gave me about 10k more than her which I was happy for, but also felt bad towards her. She started to keep track which is totally fine, but now she is also asking what he gave me for my birthday and Christmas last year - to keep track.

I am afraid this is going to end up in trouble over the next 10 years.... and the real Drama that makes me sad is, that she isn't doing anything with her share to make it grow. But there is nothing I can do. She is grown up and knows better. :(

... to be continued...

What your dad gives you for your birthday or Christmas is none of her business.

......also what the father gives the sister is not the OP business either (as well as what she does with it).

[Taran Wanderer]

As much as I love this thread I am very disappointed with the lack of stories about people finding adult themed VHS tapes labeled "Mattock season III" that are really of grandpa & grandpa with the next door neighbor and a jar of mayonnaise.

Your family is apparently a little spicier than mine.

One of my grandpas definitely had a VHS porn stash, but several of us knew where it was (poorly) hidden and it mysteriously disappeared several years before he died.  I like to think he had the foresight to to clean out his embarrassing stuff before his time came, in order to spare the family from any further gossip.

May we all be so thoughtful.

My other grandpa was diagnosed with severe emphysema and given a short time to live, while in his late 50s.  He started writing a letter for his wife, on his computer, and left a printed letter with his will that had instructions for her on how to find it.  He managed to keep it a secret while living another unexpected 14 years after that, and when she opened that letter on the computer it had 14 years of weekly messages to her, each describing how lucky he felt to have had that one additional week of experiences together and what they did that week that he most enjoyed.  As love letters go, I'll never compete with that.

I love this.

[LPeters]

As much as I love this thread I am very disappointed with the lack of stories about people finding adult themed VHS tapes labeled "Mattock season III" that are really of grandpa & grandpa with the next door neighbor and a jar of mayonnaise.

Your family is apparently a little spicier than mine.

One of my grandpas definitely had a VHS porn stash, but several of us knew where it was (poorly) hidden and it mysteriously disappeared several years before he died.  I like to think he had the foresight to to clean out his embarrassing stuff before his time came, in order to spare the family from any further gossip.

May we all be so thoughtful.

My other grandpa was diagnosed with severe emphysema and given a short time to live, while in his late 50s.  He started writing a letter for his wife, on his computer, and left a printed letter with his will that had instructions for her on how to find it.  He managed to keep it a secret while living another unexpected 14 years after that, and when she opened that letter on the computer it had 14 years of weekly messages to her, each describing how lucky he felt to have had that one additional week of experiences together and what they did that week that he most enjoyed.  As love letters go, I'll never compete with that.

I'm not crying, what are you talking about, YOU'RE CRYING

[shelivesthedream]

As much as I love this thread I am very disappointed with the lack of stories about people finding adult themed VHS tapes labeled "Mattock season III" that are really of grandpa & grandpa with the next door neighbor and a jar of mayonnaise.

Your family is apparently a little spicier than mine.

One of my grandpas definitely had a VHS porn stash, but several of us knew where it was (poorly) hidden and it mysteriously disappeared several years before he died.  I like to think he had the foresight to to clean out his embarrassing stuff before his time came, in order to spare the family from any further gossip.

May we all be so thoughtful.

My other grandpa was diagnosed with severe emphysema and given a short time to live, while in his late 50s.  He started writing a letter for his wife, on his computer, and left a printed letter with his will that had instructions for her on how to find it.  He managed to keep it a secret while living another unexpected 14 years after that, and when she opened that letter on the computer it had 14 years of weekly messages to her, each describing how lucky he felt to have had that one additional week of experiences together and what they did that week that he most enjoyed.  As love letters go, I'll never compete with that.

I'm not crying, what are you talking about, YOU'RE CRYING

No,  YOU'RE definitely the one dribbling snot while simultaneously grinning like a loon.

[chouchouu]

My brother forged my mothers signature to have the title of one of her properties given to him. Recently he sold this property to an aunt. This brother used to bemoan the fact that he has siblings and if my mother had only had him her assets would not have to be divided up. My father who is divorced from my mother is quite the piece of work, he gloated that my mother never sought child support from him and she had the full financial burden of raising us four kids while he received the marital home. I no longer speak to him and my half sister has also cut him off and told him she would donate her inheritance to a cat shelter. My half brothers sister who has been on economic outpatient care her entire life will no doubt be kicking up a fuss when my childless aunt dies. I know that aunt is leaving significant assets to charities and an original of Australia's constitution to a library. I'm pretty sure sil will fight this and she somehow has all the valuable assets from when my grandmother passed away including a pair of Chippendale chairs which would be worth a small fortune. Despite her pretentions to class she squabbled with her sister over her own mothers valuables. That side of the family bemoan that my grandmother sold a valuable plot of land that is now worth several million. They are just obsessed with inheritance, I guess since they never bothered have proper careers themselves. Sil son had attended one of the most expensive prep schools in Australua (funded by gp I'm sure) but dropped out and last I heard from my father is selling valuables from his grandfather (on mothers side)for income. My father actually thinks this is a good business and is very proud of his grandson for being a prime mooch.

WOW - that's rich! How awful to be so spiteful!!!

Apparently greed is running in the other half of your family. Just stay away from it as far as you can. Don't get involved and if it gets too bad hire a lawyer and let them deal with it. I am so sorry though that you have to watch and listen to all this. :(

Yeah I intend to keep far away from that shitstorm! It's amazing how awful people can get about money they never earned.

[chouchouu]

My brother forged my mothers signature to have the title of one of her properties given to him. Recently he sold this property to an aunt.

How is this not fraud and theft?

Why didn't you all report his sorry ass to the competent authorities if he refused to sign it back?

Don't things need to be notarized or witnessed?  How would someone get away with forging a title?  Maybe practices are different elsewhere...
[/quote]

This property is in Thailand, it is much easier to get away with dodgy dealings there, it's also very possible that bribes were handed over to help things along. My mother could take it up but doesn't want to. She's decided to disinherit him from her Australian assets instead. What he doesn't know is that she wants to disperse her assets now, I guess he probably would have challenged the will otherwise. She has also recently sold another of her Thai properties for 200k and will be selling the remaining one soon. Her Australian assets are worth quite a bit so he actually is missing out on a generous inheritance which he would have got if he hadn't stolen from her.

[onlykelsey]

She's decided to disinherit him from her Australian assets instead.

That is a sentence I have never read before.  What a fascinating life.

[Mermaid3011]

given the dropping Dow this week.

I think condos are pretty awful "investments"

Buying high and selling low is much easier too.  It kind of all depends on where the condo is right, or like if one intended to own it and live in it.

As much as I love this thread I am very disappointed with the lack of stories about people finding adult themed VHS tapes labeled "Mattock season III" that are really of grandpa & grandpa with the next door neighbor and a jar of mayonnaise.

Thank you!
A condo in Iowa might not be a great investment...
and of course I would have much rather bought a 4 acre farm, but they are awfully hard to come by in downtown Toronto... ;)

[Mermaid3011]

given the dropping Dow this week.

I think condos are pretty awful "investments"

Buying high and selling low is much easier too.  It kind of all depends on where the condo is right, or like if one intended to own it and live in it.

As much as I love this thread I am very disappointed with the lack of stories about people finding adult themed VHS tapes labeled "Mattock season III" that are really of grandpa & grandpa with the next door neighbor and a jar of mayonnaise.

Thank you!
A condo in Iowa might not be a great investment...
and of course I would have much rather bought a 4 acre farm, but they are awfully hard to come by in downtown Toronto... ;)

HEY! Again, it would depend on where (location, location, location)!

Oh absolutely!! 100% agreed!

I mean... an igloo in Florida might not be a smart choice, but in Montreal or Quebec City... HUGE I mean HUGE return on investment!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ6Pdvf3TpQ

[RetiredAt63]

And then come June you have a nice swimming pool. 

I mean... an igloo in Florida might not be a smart choice, but in Montreal or Quebec City... HUGE I mean HUGE return on investment!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ6Pdvf3TpQ

[Mermaid3011]

And then come June you have a nice swimming pool. 

I mean... an igloo in Florida might not be a smart choice, but in Montreal or Quebec City... HUGE I mean HUGE return on investment!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ6Pdvf3TpQ

RIGHT?! Win win I'd say! ;)

[Mermaid3011]

My own Inheritance drama is just beginning....

Father still alive gave a substantial amount to my sister and me 2 yrs ago as pre-inheritance. My sister had no plans for it and still doesn't. The money is literally losing value daily since it's in a savings account at the bank, at less than 2% interest eaten up by inflation.

I knew I would buy a condo and did that. Father being the way he is (frugal and a big supporter of RE investment) gave me about 10k more than her which I was happy for, but also felt bad towards her. She started to keep track which is totally fine, but now she is also asking what he gave me for my birthday and Christmas last year - to keep track.

I am afraid this is going to end up in trouble over the next 10 years.... and the real Drama that makes me sad is, that she isn't doing anything with her share to make it grow. But there is nothing I can do. She is grown up and knows better. :(

... to be continued...

Just curious - why did your dad give you 10K more? Or why didn't he give the same to your sister? That seems kind of.... unfair and sort of asking to foment trouble between siblings. Obviously a person can do whatever he wants with his money. But personally I wouldn't like it if one of my parents did that for no discernible reason other than my sibling wanted to buy real estate and I didn't.

You are completely right. It's not fair and I wish he would have split the money 50/50.
Luckily my sister and I both see that and she is not blaming me for his decision.

I can just hope that it will stay that way.

And why he did that? I say it's the intended investment that he prefers. But family issues run deep...

[Mermaid3011]

My own Inheritance drama is just beginning....

Father still alive gave a substantial amount to my sister and me 2 yrs ago as pre-inheritance. My sister had no plans for it and still doesn't. The money is literally losing value daily since it's in a savings account at the bank, at less than 2% interest eaten up by inflation.

I knew I would buy a condo and did that. Father being the way he is (frugal and a big supporter of RE investment) gave me about 10k more than her which I was happy for, but also felt bad towards her. She started to keep track which is totally fine, but now she is also asking what he gave me for my birthday and Christmas last year - to keep track.

I am afraid this is going to end up in trouble over the next 10 years.... and the real Drama that makes me sad is, that she isn't doing anything with her share to make it grow. But there is nothing I can do. She is grown up and knows better. :(

... to be continued...

Just curious - why did your dad give you 10K more? Or why didn't he give the same to your sister? That seems kind of.... unfair and sort of asking to foment trouble between siblings. Obviously a person can do whatever he wants with his money. But personally I wouldn't like it if one of my parents did that for no discernible reason other than my sibling wanted to buy real estate and I didn't.

You are completely right. It's not fair and I wish he would have split the money 50/50.
Luckily my sister and I both see that and she is not blaming me for his decision.

I can just hope that it will stay that way.

And why he did that? I say it's the intended investment that he prefers. But family issues run deep...

Just curious: If you wish your dad had made it even, have you considered giving your sister $5K to make it even?

Yes I have. And I have offered it to her. But I have also helped her out financially a few times in the past. She acknowledges that and didnt want me to pay her out. For now.

[Mermaid3011]

Well, it sounds like you have a great relationship. Good on you.

Thank you Joe. :)
Yes we do. I just hope it stays that way.

[chouchouu]

She's decided to disinherit him from her Australian assets instead.

That is a sentence I have never read before.  What a fascinating life.

She's Thai but lives in Australia now. Many Australians hold assets in their ancestral countries, particularly Thais, Greeks and Lebanese.

[Bicycle_B]

Well, it sounds like you have a great relationship. Good on you.

Thank you Joe. :)
Yes we do. I just hope it stays that way.

Mermaid,

+1 on offering her the $5k and maintaining a good relationship.  I have been through the gradual passing away of a parent and seen sibling relationships deepened and strengthened by treating each other well in the process.  Great start by you and your dad.  Good luck and best wishes!!

[Bicycle_B]

I'm not going into the whole drama, but my husband's grandmother specified that everything be split 50/50 between the two daughters. The only problem is that there were assets that there was no way could be split 50/50, in particular a piece of family land that had a cabin that the grandfather had built. But the grandmother just kept with, everything, 50/50. One daughter was sentimentally attached to the land and wanted to keep it in the family, the other wanted to either buy out the land/cabin at a discounted rate, or sell it and split the money 50/50.

Protip: If it's just between two people, there is an optimal way to split things 50/50. First note that selling the property and splitting the proceeds DOES benefit both parties equally; however something feels "wrong" with this approach since one was more attached to it than the other. And it might not be optimal if the property were, e.g., worth $70k to her, but she only received $50k as her share of the sale.

The best way to do it is to have each daughter make a silent bid (they could simultaneously exchange slips of paper on which they wrote their bid amount) to decide the winner. Then the winner gets to have the property, and gives some cash to the loser. With numbers, this might work as

A bids $70k
B bids $60k.

Then A gets the property, and sends $70k/2 = 35k to B. In the end, A feels like she received $35k and B feels like she received $35k, and neither "envies" the other's position.

Brilliant!!

[iris lily]

given the dropping Dow this week.

I think condos are pretty awful "investments"

Buying high and selling low is much easier too.  It kind of all depends on where the condo is right, or like if one intended to own it and live in it.


As much as I love this thread I am very disappointed with the lack of stories about people finding adult themed VHS tapes labeled "Mattock season III" that are really of grandpa & grandpa with the next door neighbor and a jar of mayonnaise.

Thank you!
A condo in Iowa might not be a great investment...
and of course I would have much rather bought a 4 acre farm, but they are awfully hard to come by in downtown Toronto... ;)

I apologize because a condo in Toronto is a decent place to park money. I had not paid  attention to where you live.In the U.S. there are few markets that support condos. And you are right, Iowa aint one of them. I know. Ive lived there.

[Mermaid3011]

thank you both, BicycleB and Iris.
I am trying. I guess all we can do is do our best. :)

[Missy B]

We went through an inheritance drama on my mom's side. It created a rift that never really healed.
My mother's mother had always given one of her 4 kids  -- a younger son -- special treatment. Always made excuses for him about why he wasn't doing well, gave him free rent while signing papers saying he was paying rent, so he could get higher welfare. Always excusing his bad decisions, saying he was unlucky, and trying to make up for how bad the world was treating him. Meanwhile, he is
1) getting let go from jobs because of his temper and difficulty in taking direction
2) taking jobs under the table so that he isn't paying tax and the employer isn't paying WCB or EI, meaning that when he gets injured on the under-the-table job he is unable to work with no income.
3) not getting jobs he could have had if he'd finished his training instead of quitting halfway through because the twenty minute commute to school 'was killing him'
4) racking up credit card debt and using an inheritance to buy an RV instead of paying their 50K credit card debt down, saying 'we'll pay the debt down when we're old. we're going to live while we're young'
He and his wife lived in my grandmother's house, and decided they wanted to move to the boonies and start their own business. My grandmother decided that she would sell the house and give all the money to the two younger sons. There were some pretty interesting justifications to the two older children, like "He hasn't had the opportunities you had. The economy is way worse than when you were his age, etc. The youngest son disagreed, saying that was bullshit and completely unfair to the older two, and it ought to split equally 4 ways. She told him if he didn't agree, he could get nothing too. And she went ahead and left everything to the one brother, which was what she wanted in the first place anyway.
This is totally fine with the inheriting brother, who believes it is perfectly fair and totally justified, because he has been so screwed by the world.
Then they move to the boonies and buy a house and a recession-sensitive business which they probably paid too much for, and which doesn't earn what they need, and proceeded to take out loans on the home equity until there is nearly nothing left.

[markbike528CBX]

No drama here, mostly posting to follow.

However, my little sister and I were discussing what we would inherit, and how stuff would be divvied up.
    She gets 1st floor and above (house stuff, knicknacks etc)
    I get the basement, mostly Dad's ham radio stuff, train set etc.

My stepmother comes in and asks "What are you guys talking about?".
    Us-- How we divvy stuff up, and then we explain it and got a nodding approval for the plan.
At the time, I was ~ 23 and Sis was ~ 14

My stepmother has mentioned giggly, that "I guess we are spending your inheritance", with new kitchen redoo, new garage,
all after my dad retired.

I said "It's your money".   
Anyway, my stepmom is likely to last a long time, based on her mom's age, so I'm not looking for anything at all. 
My guess that their income/wealth is mostly from dad's pension, which I can't inherit anyway.

Edit:  well, I hope it all pans out that way.

[Mermaid3011]

No drama here, mostly posting to follow.

However, my little sister and I were discussing what we would inherit, and how stuff would be divvied up.
    She gets 1st floor and above (house stuff, knicknacks etc)
    I get the basement, mostly Dad's ham radio stuff, train set etc.

My stepmother comes in and asks "What are you guys talking about?".
    Us-- How we divvy stuff up, and then we explain it and got a nodding approval for the plan.
At the time, I was ~ 23 and Sis was ~ 14

My stepmother has mentioned giggly, that "I guess we are spending your inheritance", with new kitchen redoo, new garage,
all after my dad retired.

I said "It's your money".   
Anyway, my stepmom is likely to last a long time, based on her mom's age, so I'm not looking for anything at all. 
My guess that their income/wealth is mostly from dad's pension, which I can't inherit anyway.

That's a cute story! Thanks for sharing!

[markbike528CBX]

@ Mermaid3011
   I thought it was a nice counterpoint to the rest of the thread.
   didn't want to kill the thread with cuteness!   Oops.

[Taran Wanderer]

We have a drama in progress.  DW's grandfather passed away recently.  Grandmother is still kicking at 90, but feeling old and alone.  Their plan had always been to split the estate evenly between DW's father and uncle, their two children.  Now, grandmother is thinking of leaving more to the uncle, "because he needs it more."

This is deepening a rift that started nearly fifty years ago when grandfather and grandmother paid for uncle's private college education, and then "didn't have enough" to pay for father's education, so he went to community college, and then on to finish up at the state school.  DW's father started bagging groceries after college, and then eventually landed a public sector union job.  Lots of hard and sometimes dangerous work, but through a long career, miserly frugality, and careful money management, DW's father amassed a nearly $2 million nest egg and DW's parents were able to retire in their mid to late fifties.

Meanwhile, DW's uncle worked in accounting, bought a nice house in the suburbs, furnished it respectably and impeccably, traveled to Hawaii regularly, and is still working in his early sixties.  But grandmother may now give uncle more "because he needs it more".

The thing I don't understand is how parents can be so obtuse with these things.  Can they not see the emotional damage they are wreaking?  I love what my mom and stepfather have done:  with my mom's two and my stepfather's three kids, they have said that they plan to split everything 5 ways.  Plain and simple.  If one goes before the other, I guess that could potentially change, but given who they are, how they live, and how generous and kind they are, I doubt it.  And if so, so what?  We are all grown ups and don't "deserve" anything.

Back to DW's grandfather, I hope we make it through the funeral this week without big drama.  There are already other issues surfacing about the remembrance video...

[coin]

The thing I don't understand is how parents can be so obtuse with these things.  Can they not see the emotional damage they are wreaking?  I love what my mom and stepfather have done:  with my mom's two and my stepfather's three kids, they have said that they plan to split everything 5 ways.  Plain and simple.  If one goes before the other, I guess that could potentially change, but given who they are, how they live, and how generous and kind they are, I doubt it.  And if so, so what?  We are all grown ups and don't "deserve" anything.

I think most people do, but they rationalise it away as one son being emotionally hurt as a lesser evil than their other son actually starving/becoming homeless in retirement.  Even when the starvation/homelessness/whatever is entirely self-inflicted.

In the Millionaire Next Door books the author talks about how wealthy parents can inadvertantly 'weaken' one child with what he called 'economic outpatient care'.  EOC involved subsidising the child's lifestyle and perversely rewarding their bad behaviour.

[boyerbt]

The thing I don't understand is how parents can be so obtuse with these things.  Can they not see the emotional damage they are wreaking?  I love what my mom and stepfather have done:  with my mom's two and my stepfather's three kids, they have said that they plan to split everything 5 ways.  Plain and simple.  If one goes before the other, I guess that could potentially change, but given who they are, how they live, and how generous and kind they are, I doubt it.  And if so, so what?  We are all grown ups and don't "deserve" anything.

I think most people do, but they rationalise it away as one son being emotionally hurt as a lesser evil than their other son actually starving/becoming homeless in retirement.  Even when the starvation/homelessness/whatever is entirely self-inflicted.

In the Millionaire Next Door books the author talks about how wealthy parents can inadvertantly 'weaken' one child with what he called 'economic outpatient care'.  EOC involved subsidising the child's lifestyle and perversely rewarding their bad behaviour.

I think that most parents and/or grandparents don't realize how their actions make the other siblings feel when they single out one to help even when the rest are financially and emotionally fine. If they do, they must believe that the other kids that "don't need it" understand and are okay with the additional help that is given. Because I do not have any kids I cannot speak from a parents point of view but I wonder if some of the extra giving is because parents want to feel needed and so they continue to give to the struggling children even if it is self-inflicted. Do any parents have thoughts on this?

 I have experienced this firsthand and completely agree with "Economic Outpatient Care". My parents continue to financially help my soon to be 26 year old sibling even though she has a decent job ($45k) because she blows it on ridiculous stuff. I just sit back and wonder how long it will continue...?