Author Topic: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.  (Read 913220 times)

Dicey

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1800 on: July 16, 2019, 09:59:48 AM »
In their minds, DH and I will make off with all their money. DHís mom told him over 10 years ago that I was with him just so I could take all his money and then divorce him...because Iím a visible minority and not from the same culture as DH, so obviously Iím poor. She stopped saying that when I drove up in my parentsí Acura to visit once, because my own dinky Toyota was in the shop. But his parents still worry that I will steal all the money, because Iím not ďfamilyĒ so I canít be trusted. And DH canít be trusted because he listens to me.

Isn't it interesting how much difference a CAR/SUV/pickup makes to some people. You drive a gas sipper and everyone makes one set of assumptions. You buy or borrow a nicer vehicle and now everything is different... Throw in certain brands - even used - and people assume you've either won the lottery or up to your nose in debt. People can be so weird.
It's the cumulative effect of being bombarded with advertising.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1801 on: July 16, 2019, 10:38:29 AM »
My BF is an engineer for Hyundai/Kia.  They take quality seriously.
The fact that I, as a lifelong Toyota/Honda driver, would seriously consider a Hyundai for my next car, speaks volumes about the progress they've made in terms of quality.

Dave1442397

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1802 on: July 16, 2019, 11:15:35 AM »
My BF is an engineer for Hyundai/Kia.  They take quality seriously.
The fact that I, as a lifelong Toyota/Honda driver, would seriously consider a Hyundai for my next car, speaks volumes about the progress they've made in terms of quality.

Me too. I love the Hyundai G90, and it's been depreciating like a rock.

Villanelle

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1803 on: July 16, 2019, 11:19:01 AM »
My BF is an engineer for Hyundai/Kia.  They take quality seriously.
The fact that I, as a lifelong Toyota/Honda driver, would seriously consider a Hyundai for my next car, speaks volumes about the progress they've made in terms of quality.

Yes.  In the very early 90s, my sister turned 16 and my parents bought her a car.  It was an early Hyundai and it seems like almost a plastic toy. 

We recently bought a new to us car--a 2016 Tucson.  That this is the same make as the little toy my sister drove around is almost impossible to believe!

pachnik

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1804 on: July 16, 2019, 01:28:27 PM »
My BF is an engineer for Hyundai/Kia.  They take quality seriously.
The fact that I, as a lifelong Toyota/Honda driver, would seriously consider a Hyundai for my next car, speaks volumes about the progress they've made in terms of quality.

+1 - I wouldn't hesitate to buy a Hyundai either. 

Candace

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1805 on: July 16, 2019, 01:35:37 PM »
I went from a Toyota Camry (20 years old) to lightly used Hyundai Sonata. Works for me.

Just Joe

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1806 on: July 16, 2019, 01:43:32 PM »
I've owned two of the early Hyundai plastic toys. Both were dirt cheap to buy and maintain. Both were very neglected, very dirty and needed a little TLC when I bought them but they always did their job once the maintenance was done and they were cleaned.

I've rented newer Hyundais. Yes, they too are on my "approved list". I've never seen the Hyundai G90 before. Nice looking sedan!
« Last Edit: July 16, 2019, 03:31:52 PM by Just Joe »

Alfred J Quack

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1807 on: July 16, 2019, 01:45:21 PM »
My BF is an engineer for Hyundai/Kia.  They take quality seriously.
The fact that I, as a lifelong Toyota/Honda driver, would seriously consider a Hyundai for my next car, speaks volumes about the progress they've made in terms of quality.

+1 - I wouldn't hesitate to buy a Hyundai either.
Hyundai i30 owner since 2015 here, 7 years old now. Great car for its pricetag and no major faults so far other than the ebrake sticking because it was parked too long for too often ;)

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1808 on: July 16, 2019, 04:05:50 PM »
My BF is an engineer for Hyundai/Kia.  They take quality seriously.
The fact that I, as a lifelong Toyota/Honda driver, would seriously consider a Hyundai for my next car, speaks volumes about the progress they've made in terms of quality.

+1 - I wouldn't hesitate to buy a Hyundai either.
Hyundai i30 owner since 2015 here, 7 years old now. Great car for its pricetag and no major faults so far other than the ebrake sticking because it was parked too long for too often ;)
At first I was like "hey, that math doesn't add up."  But then the mustachian side of my brain kicked in and realized you bought it used :P

Dicey

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1809 on: July 16, 2019, 04:21:43 PM »
My BF is an engineer for Hyundai/Kia.  They take quality seriously.
The fact that I, as a lifelong Toyota/Honda driver, would seriously consider a Hyundai for my next car, speaks volumes about the progress they've made in terms of quality.

+1 - I wouldn't hesitate to buy a Hyundai either.
Hyundai i30 owner since 2015 here, 7 years old now. Great car for its pricetag and no major faults so far other than the ebrake sticking because it was parked too long for too often ;)
At first I was like "hey, that math doesn't add up."  But then the mustachian side of my brain kicked in and realized you bought it used :P
Lol, me too!

Dicey

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1810 on: July 16, 2019, 04:22:45 PM »
My BF is an engineer for Hyundai/Kia.  They take quality seriously.
The fact that I, as a lifelong Toyota/Honda driver, would seriously consider a Hyundai for my next car, speaks volumes about the progress they've made in terms of quality.

Me too. I love the Hyundai G90, and it's been depreciating like a rock.
Why is that, do you think?

Finallyunderstand

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1811 on: July 17, 2019, 11:05:00 AM »
My BF is an engineer for Hyundai/Kia.  They take quality seriously.
The fact that I, as a lifelong Toyota/Honda driver, would seriously consider a Hyundai for my next car, speaks volumes about the progress they've made in terms of quality.

+1 - I wouldn't hesitate to buy a Hyundai either.
Hyundai i30 owner since 2015 here, 7 years old now. Great car for its pricetag and no major faults so far other than the ebrake sticking because it was parked too long for too often ;)
At first I was like "hey, that math doesn't add up."  But then the mustachian side of my brain kicked in and realized you bought it used :P
Lol, me too!

same

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1812 on: July 18, 2019, 11:17:21 AM »
A guy I know got a car from his father. When the father died, he offered the Blue Book on the remaining vehicle so his mother could have the cash. She opted to give it to her daughter.

Other sibling freaks out about how brother and sister are getting early inheritance, and that he wants it calculated into the final numbers when mom dies.

He was telling this to his living mother - that he was counting her money so she didn't cheat him more than she already had.

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1813 on: July 29, 2019, 08:53:18 AM »
Not drama, but something new on my end. Was at my mother's and she was saying how my brother and I are so sentimental, but that my sister is not. She said it like 'isn't that funny?' because we're boys.

This came up because I was talking about the rocking chair I was sitting in, and how much I've always liked it - it's about 45 years old.

What I didn't say back to mom is "not only is she unsentimental, but also extremely blessed by having both sets of wedding bands, and other diamond jewelry." I know this because a daughter of mine is of age to marry, and I wanted to see if I could buy or have a set. Through a very long lunch, I found out that it was not available, but also not to be discussed.

bluebelle

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1814 on: July 29, 2019, 02:43:28 PM »
Not drama, but something new on my end. Was at my mother's and she was saying how my brother and I are so sentimental, but that my sister is not. She said it like 'isn't that funny?' because we're boys.

This came up because I was talking about the rocking chair I was sitting in, and how much I've always liked it - it's about 45 years old.

What I didn't say back to mom is "not only is she unsentimental, but also extremely blessed by having both sets of wedding bands, and other diamond jewelry." I know this because a daughter of mine is of age to marry, and I wanted to see if I could buy or have a set. Through a very long lunch, I found out that it was not available, but also not to be discussed.
that's sad that your mother thinks men can't be sentimental.  I think my brother is more sentimental about things than I am.  He got all of Dad's tools and jewelry, I'm to get mom's rings, but if really wanted them, I'd give them to him.....I'm very sentimental about memories, but not so much about the things the memories are attached to.   I have more of my mother's "stuff" than I want, but only because it was important to her to give it too me.   If my brother expressed an interest,  I think I'd gladly give things to him.   Just like I think he'd give me some of the stuff that was dad's within reason (he wears dad's ring daily, I'd never ask for that)

But I know I'm fortunate that we won't have drama.   The stories I hear on this thread sadden me about the greed of some folk's relatives.

K-ice

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1815 on: July 30, 2019, 02:00:50 AM »
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/victory-for-b-c-sisters-whose-parents-willed-them-tiny-share-of-9m-estate-1.5218792

Interesting case. 4 sisters get a more equitable distribution of their parents will. Apparently BC is unusual to even allow " ... judges wide leeway to make drastic changes to a will to make sure there's a "just and equitable" distribution to someone's surviving spouse and children."

TVRodriguez

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1816 on: July 30, 2019, 10:17:42 AM »
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/victory-for-b-c-sisters-whose-parents-willed-them-tiny-share-of-9m-estate-1.5218792

Interesting case. 4 sisters get a more equitable distribution of their parents will. Apparently BC is unusual to even allow " ... judges wide leeway to make drastic changes to a will to make sure there's a "just and equitable" distribution to someone's surviving spouse and children."

Hmm, not sure how I feel about that.  I'm a strong believer in the testator's right to decide how much to leave to whom.  For the state to step in...I don't know.  What if the parents had left it all to charity?  They could have done that.  Don't get me wrong--I don't like how the parents handled anything (including child-raising as well as estate planning), but no one forced the daughters to stick around for that abuse once they were adults.  I don't like the precedent it sets.

partgypsy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1817 on: July 30, 2019, 03:00:15 PM »
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/victory-for-b-c-sisters-whose-parents-willed-them-tiny-share-of-9m-estate-1.5218792

Interesting case. 4 sisters get a more equitable distribution of their parents will. Apparently BC is unusual to even allow " ... judges wide leeway to make drastic changes to a will to make sure there's a "just and equitable" distribution to someone's surviving spouse and children."

I think that is very interesting. Not to the same degree but I had a similar upbringing. Sometimes "tradition" is messed up. If it bothers you that the inheritance was changed by a judge, reframe it as the judge rectifying years and decades of unpaid or underpaid family labor on the part of the daughters.
« Last Edit: July 30, 2019, 03:11:03 PM by partgypsy »

Fi(re) on the Farm

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1818 on: July 30, 2019, 06:02:08 PM »
We have a mentally handicapped daughter (Down syndrome) who can't provide for herself thru no fault of her own.  We also have a son who is perfectly capable of taking care of himself and his family.

We made it very clear ages ago that our priority #1 was to make sure our daughter would be well provided for.   He's a good son and brother and that makes perfect sense to him.

It's really only been the last 5 years that we realized that there is a good chance there will be enough for her and a very sizeable portion left over for him.  We're in the process of setting up our wills.   She'll get a set dollar amount or 50%, whichever is greater.  He'll get the rest.  If our portfolio grew nicely and medical bills didn't eat it up, that will be a lot of money. If not, he might get nothing.  Her portion will go into a trust.  She won't own the trust, she'll own a life interest in the income it provides.  When she dies the money will revert to our son or his descendants.   

I think the reason for the unequal distribution is very different than just taking care of people because they are too damn lazy to do so for themselves, or too damn spoiled to live within their means.

It just doesn't make a lot of sense to reinforce failure instead of success.  But, then again, doing that for many years is how you get overaged children in the first place, I guess.

This is basically our situation, my son is married to someone who inherited a lot of money but we've split our estate equally, half to him, half to her trust. They may not stay married forever so I don't want to write him out. However, my wonderful, exceptional granddaughter gets nothing from us because she's got more in her college fund than I have in the bank. Any remaining funds in my daughter's trust go to our nieces. It won't be much but it may give them a bit of a cushion.

Fi(re) on the Farm

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1819 on: July 30, 2019, 06:44:11 PM »
My fathers mother who I never really knew much met a man later in life and got married in her 70's.

He had no relatives and had money, he died before her.

When she died me and my sister went to her funeral and my sister became friendly with a cousin there that we hadn't known up until then. The cousin was my fathers sisters daughter.

Shortly after that funeral I moved to a new country.


About 3 years later my sister told me that she had stayed in touch with this cousin and the cousin had said to her how generous it was of our grandmother to 'give us money before she died'?

My sister asked what money was that as she had not received any.

The cousin replied that grandmother had given money to her adult children and also given money to them to be passed onto their adult children.. her grandchildren (that be me;)

But my father thinking that we wouldn't know about this as we didn't know that side of the family 'kept' the money for himself.

Thereby cheating both his children and his own mothers wish on her deathbed.

Such a lovely man my father is!

That's theft and fraud.   Have him cough up the money or go to jail.  Then have nothing else to do with him because if he'll steal from you like that, you don't need him in your life.


It was about 27 years ago.

Yeah he's nuts!  I've got used to it over the years. And can trust him about as far as I can throw him, I think he's got some mental problems so I just learned to live with it.
He's done all kinds of wacky things over the years, it's like having a kind of abusive parent.... it's not sexual abuse, or particularly physical... it's more like he'd steal your inheritance, steal your girlfriend or wife, steal your child's affections by sh2t disturbing and gossiping behind your back.  Make your achievements look small and insignificant, and be quietly happy when you fail.

Oh Pudding, I feel your pain. No relationship with my dad at all. My oma (grandma) died 30 years ago and after she died my dad sent me a check for $500. He was pretty insulted when I didn't send him a thank you note. However, I know that he took all of my oma's money when she sold her house and that she scrimped and saved from her social security to give each of her granddaughter $1000 in a CD. Somehow he got his hands on the money (probably with her power of attorney because he wasn't on any of the CDs) and cashed them out. I think the only reason he gave us half is because my mom (his exwife who took care of Oma's money) knew about the CDs and would have pitched a fit if we'd gotten nothing.

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1820 on: August 01, 2019, 12:57:15 PM »
Not drama, but something new on my end. Was at my mother's and she was saying how my brother and I are so sentimental, but that my sister is not. She said it like 'isn't that funny?' because we're boys.

This came up because I was talking about the rocking chair I was sitting in, and how much I've always liked it - it's about 45 years old.

What I didn't say back to mom is "not only is she unsentimental, but also extremely blessed by having both sets of wedding bands, and other diamond jewelry." I know this because a daughter of mine is of age to marry, and I wanted to see if I could buy or have a set. Through a very long lunch, I found out that it was not available, but also not to be discussed.
that's sad that your mother thinks men can't be sentimental.  I think my brother is more sentimental about things than I am.  He got all of Dad's tools and jewelry, I'm to get mom's rings, but if really wanted them, I'd give them to him.....I'm very sentimental about memories, but not so much about the things the memories are attached to.   I have more of my mother's "stuff" than I want, but only because it was important to her to give it too me.   If my brother expressed an interest,  I think I'd gladly give things to him.   Just like I think he'd give me some of the stuff that was dad's within reason (he wears dad's ring daily, I'd never ask for that)

But I know I'm fortunate that we won't have drama.   The stories I hear on this thread sadden me about the greed of some folk's relatives.

Honestly, it's probably her way of convincing herself it's all fair in its own way. My sister had 7 years of college paid for while my brother had 4 (he went for 7). She's had childcare from mom since her kids were born. For the year mom watched my kids, I paid her because she was a widow, and could have been earning money otherwise.

Sometimes I wonder if my mom hates me, but I don't think that's the case. She just favors my sister because she's the only girl, and my sister is shameless about getting things, like wedding band sets and other jewelry. If cash was up for grabs, she'd be cool with that, too, but I don't foresee her trying to get a tea kettle or the Christmas decorations from our childhood.

talltexan

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1821 on: August 02, 2019, 09:34:02 AM »
I was chewing my wife's ear yesterday about chipping in to pay for some expenses for our kids, when we don't know whether her brother is paying for the same for his kids (my MiL is taking them all to the same activities).

Based on what I'm reading here, I really ought to just shut up. $30-$60 of difference is not worth complaining.

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1822 on: August 02, 2019, 11:20:27 AM »
I was chewing my wife's ear yesterday about chipping in to pay for some expenses for our kids, when we don't know whether her brother is paying for the same for his kids (my MiL is taking them all to the same activities).

Based on what I'm reading here, I really ought to just shut up. $30-$60 of difference is not worth complaining.

It's all relative. I mean, just because you have clean water at home (a luxury), but are such a baller you filter it, doesn't mean you can't take issue with how slow the Brita is working.

Just Joe

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1823 on: August 02, 2019, 01:27:45 PM »
Sometimes I wonder if my mom hates me, but I don't think that's the case. She just favors my sister because she's the only girl, and my sister is shameless about getting things, like wedding band sets and other jewelry. If cash was up for grabs, she'd be cool with that, too, but I don't foresee her trying to get a tea kettle or the Christmas decorations from our childhood.

That happens. Apparently not uncommon according to stories here. I came from a situation with similarities too. Hang in there...

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1824 on: August 14, 2019, 11:46:20 AM »
My grandmother is now 90 and she sold her home. Since she doesn't need the money it was arranged through her CPA to just split the dough between her 2 daughters, who she lives with.

I'm so happy that this is happening because both women are recent widows and could make wonderful use of the money while taking care of grandma.

COMING DRAMA: She will die, or so I've heard, and when she does there will be a little bit more money, I hope, for her daughters, but in the group is a ne'er do well cousin who smokes a lot of drugs and doesn't have much of a life. When her father died, she asked if sh could "have dad's social security." I imagine she anticipates granny, who retired at 55, must have some cash, but she doesn't. It was already distributed.

dandarc

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1825 on: August 15, 2019, 09:53:41 AM »
My grandmother is now 90 and she sold her home. Since she doesn't need the money it was arranged through her CPA to just split the dough between her 2 daughters, who she lives with.

I'm so happy that this is happening because both women are recent widows and could make wonderful use of the money while taking care of grandma.

COMING DRAMA: She will die, or so I've heard, and when she does there will be a little bit more money, I hope, for her daughters, but in the group is a ne'er do well cousin who smokes a lot of drugs and doesn't have much of a life. When her father died, she asked if sh could "have dad's social security." I imagine she anticipates granny, who retired at 55, must have some cash, but she doesn't. It was already distributed.
Sounds like Granny made a smart move there.

bluebelle

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1826 on: August 15, 2019, 10:02:20 AM »

COMING DRAMA: She will die, or so I've heard, and when she does there will be a little bit more money, I hope, for her daughters, but in the group is a ne'er do well cousin who smokes a lot of drugs and doesn't have much of a life. When her father died, she asked if sh could "have dad's social security." I imagine she anticipates granny, who retired at 55, must have some cash, but she doesn't. It was already distributed.
so your grandmother lives with your mother and your aunt?  Did I get the family order correct?  Won't your cousin just pester her mother (your aunt), and potentially decide to move-in once granny is gone (cuz, hey, there will be a room available)?   I see the potential for alot of drama

Imma

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1827 on: August 15, 2019, 02:28:18 PM »
I heard a very sad story today :( In my family there's a very nasty spiteful widow with two kids. Both are childless, one recently got divorced after a long unhappy marriage to another nasty spiteful woman. They sold their house and he moved into his own place and reconnected with a girl he knew from school 30 years ago. She's by now a divorced mother and therefore a harlot (literal words). His family refuse to even meet her but the talk of the village is that she's only with him because he's loaded. The very first thing the mother did after he told her about his new girlfriend was to change her will in favour of his sibling so no money ever ends up in the claws of that harlot.....

He sold a house and bought a new place, he's comfortable but hardly wealthy. They don't live together and the woman apparantly has a job and owns her own home too so there's no reason to believe she's interested in the money. The future inheritance is a paid off average family home and the guy isn't particularly nice or goodlooking or anything, let's just say that he's the wrong person if you're after a meal ticket, but I feel sorry for him that his own mother doesn't trust his judgement, so much that she's writing him out of her will because of someone she's never even met.

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1828 on: August 15, 2019, 02:36:31 PM »

COMING DRAMA: She will die, or so I've heard, and when she does there will be a little bit more money, I hope, for her daughters, but in the group is a ne'er do well cousin who smokes a lot of drugs and doesn't have much of a life. When her father died, she asked if sh could "have dad's social security." I imagine she anticipates granny, who retired at 55, must have some cash, but she doesn't. It was already distributed.
so your grandmother lives with your mother and your aunt?  Did I get the family order correct?  Won't your cousin just pester her mother (your aunt), and potentially decide to move-in once granny is gone (cuz, hey, there will be a room available)?   I see the potential for alot of drama

Grandma lives half the year with my mom and half the year with my aunt, and since this began 15 months ago has really enjoyed it.

Cousin lives with my aunt right now. Sometimes she has her own place, and other times she does something dumb like move back to her mom's while also getting a Great Dane. On the bright side, the Great Dane loves my grandmother.

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1829 on: August 15, 2019, 02:40:20 PM »
...........the mother change[d] her will in favour of his sibling so no money ever ends up in the claws of that harlot.....

....................the woman apparantly has a job and owns her own home too..........

Classic harlot behavior; buying a home and establishing a career to trick everyone. Then, when they least expect it, she robs her not-rich, five-on-a-ten-point-scale boyfriend by loving him forever and having him chip in for half the stuff.

Happens every day.

bluebelle

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1830 on: August 15, 2019, 02:59:53 PM »
...........the mother change[d] her will in favour of his sibling so no money ever ends up in the claws of that harlot.....

....................the woman apparantly has a job and owns her own home too..........

Classic harlot behavior; buying a home and establishing a career to trick everyone. Then, when they least expect it, she robs her not-rich, five-on-a-ten-point-scale boyfriend by loving him forever and having him chip in for half the stuff.

Happens every day.
Hah....21 years ago, when I first started dating my husband, when his mother met me, she told him I looked like a gold digger.....to this day, I don't know where this gold is that she was worried about.....he came into the marriage with his half of the house down payment and nothing else and I've always made a little more than double his salary.....BUT he was smart enough to let me manage the money....which is the reason he gets to retire next year, which is much better than his plan of 'work until I die'.....she came to love me.....I had a freezer and got him packing his lunch.....

Chris Pascale

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1831 on: August 15, 2019, 10:15:52 PM »
...........the mother change[d] her will in favour of his sibling so no money ever ends up in the claws of that harlot.....

....................the woman apparantly has a job and owns her own home too..........

Classic harlot behavior; buying a home and establishing a career to trick everyone. Then, when they least expect it, she robs her not-rich, five-on-a-ten-point-scale boyfriend by loving him forever and having him chip in for half the stuff.

Happens every day.
Hah....21 years ago, when I first started dating my husband, when his mother met me, she told him I looked like a gold digger.....to this day, I don't know where this gold is that she was worried about.....he came into the marriage with his half of the house down payment and nothing else and I've always made a little more than double his salary.....BUT he was smart enough to let me manage the money....which is the reason he gets to retire next year, which is much better than his plan of 'work until I die'.....she came to love me.....I had a freezer and got him packing his lunch.....

"looks like a gold digger"? Geez, that's terrible.

Your MIL must have been so insecure. Glad you get along.

Alfred J Quack

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1832 on: August 16, 2019, 03:28:51 AM »
...........the mother change[d] her will in favour of his sibling so no money ever ends up in the claws of that harlot.....

....................the woman apparantly has a job and owns her own home too..........

Classic harlot behavior; buying a home and establishing a career to trick everyone. Then, when they least expect it, she robs her not-rich, five-on-a-ten-point-scale boyfriend by loving him forever and having him chip in for half the stuff.

Happens every day.
Hah....21 years ago, when I first started dating my husband, when his mother met me, she told him I looked like a gold digger.....to this day, I don't know where this gold is that she was worried about.....he came into the marriage with his half of the house down payment and nothing else and I've always made a little more than double his salary.....BUT he was smart enough to let me manage the money....which is the reason he gets to retire next year, which is much better than his plan of 'work until I die'.....she came to love me.....I had a freezer and got him packing his lunch.....

"looks like a gold digger"? Geez, that's terrible.

Your MIL must have been so insecure. Glad you get along.
To be fair, gold digging is hard work with lots of risk.  /jk

But it is nice to read that it all came right in the end.

talltexan

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1833 on: August 16, 2019, 06:59:07 AM »
...........the mother change[d] her will in favour of his sibling so no money ever ends up in the claws of that harlot.....

....................the woman apparantly has a job and owns her own home too..........

Classic harlot behavior; buying a home and establishing a career to trick everyone. Then, when they least expect it, she robs her not-rich, five-on-a-ten-point-scale boyfriend by loving him forever and having him chip in for half the stuff.

Happens every day.
Hah....21 years ago, when I first started dating my husband, when his mother met me, she told him I looked like a gold digger.....to this day, I don't know where this gold is that she was worried about.....he came into the marriage with his half of the house down payment and nothing else and I've always made a little more than double his salary.....BUT he was smart enough to let me manage the money....which is the reason he gets to retire next year, which is much better than his plan of 'work until I die'.....she came to love me.....I had a freezer and got him packing his lunch.....

could this possibly mean she thought you were too beautiful to be married to her son?

Just Joe

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1834 on: August 16, 2019, 08:33:45 AM »
Hah....21 years ago, when I first started dating my husband, when his mother met me, she told him I looked like a gold digger.....to this day, I don't know where this gold is that she was worried about.....he came into the marriage with his half of the house down payment and nothing else and I've always made a little more than double his salary.....BUT he was smart enough to let me manage the money....which is the reason he gets to retire next year, which is much better than his plan of 'work until I die'.....she came to love me.....I had a freezer and got him packing his lunch.....

Parents can be so fun. My parents have long ago decided DW is like her messy siblings and I'm like my own messy relative. Sibling believes whatever my parents help them believe.

Meanwhile DW and I have had a two decade+ marriage that has been anything but messy. Everything is good. And that's why there are miles of highway between us and them.

Screw people who can't look at the world objectively and factually.

talltexan

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1835 on: August 16, 2019, 01:17:35 PM »
I see this with my sister-in-law.

Whenever our families are all together, she insists that my family is late for everything.

It took me a couple of visits to realize that this is because HER husband is late for everything.

SwordGuy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1836 on: August 16, 2019, 02:53:58 PM »
I see this with my sister-in-law.

Whenever our families are all together, she insists that my family is late for everything.

It took me a couple of visits to realize that this is because HER husband is late for everything.


Put on a good Gary Cooper drawl, "Well, color me simple, sis, we were here before the scheduled time, and it's YOUR husband who is late."  Smile.   Pause.  "As always.   So why would you claim that WE are late?"

I decided some years ago that I was just plain done with putting up with passive aggressive bullshit.   I have very little tolerance for it.   So I just serve them up a hearty verbal bowl of go fuck yourself soup and present it with a flourish.   Very few try that shit a fourth time. 

I said fourth time because I usually give the first two times a pass, in case they were having a bad day or something.  After that, they're fair game.
(Unless I'm convinced based on prior observation or accounts of how the person acts that they're being shitty on purpose.   Then I don't wait for a second time.)

BFive55

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1837 on: August 16, 2019, 05:56:01 PM »
I don't have any drama and hopefully I won't. My siblings and I have been told we would get everything evenly split, which is cool by me. From mom and dad. My mom said I would be made executor since I'm better with money that the others.

She is also trying to give us a good inheritance and doesn't want to even really draw down any of the money she has saved in her retirement accounts. That's very nice of her but I told her she needs to also take care of herself (she should be fine with her government pension and Social Security as she has no mortgage and doesn't spend lavishly). But it's really great of her to plan for us that way. It sort of takes some stress off of us because if it works out we could each have a sizable enough inheritance to purchase a home... but my family is also fairly long-lived and I would expect her to live at least another 25 years, if not more.

My dad said we're getting a trusts but he has not been as straight forward as my mom on what his plans in his will are. He says he's going to spend all his money (which is fine, it's his money) but he's also smart enough to not blow through his money so there would be some left over when he dies. Plus his house is probably worth more than the money he has saved, and the house alone would be a big inheritance.

We've already decided that none of us want either house, so it'd be sold, and the money split. None of us care about furniture or anything so that can go or stay. The only thing that's of value are family pictures and family movies and some antique items my mom has. My dad's side of the family is not sentimental and they have like no heirlooms or anything worth passing down.

I don't know if there will be some drama when my grandfather passes. I have no idea what his net worth is but he's making more money now than when he was working. Whether that's due to his military pension, SS, and his investments or just his pensions, I don't know. All the grand kids are slated to receive $5,000 but from what I have gathered there's a lot more than that, just an unknown mount. His kids (dad, uncles, aunts) will obviously get a lot more. I might get his car, which he barely drives and is fairly new, so I'm hoping that doesn't cause any drama... which might mean the dollar amount I get is less.

Reading these stories though I'm happy that my siblings and I have decided to just split everything and sell all the assets like houses and cars.

markbike528CBX

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1838 on: August 16, 2019, 11:22:33 PM »
Future Drama:

Childless Uncle-great investor, not spender, stealth wealth extreme.

Several Siblings ( some dead)

~20 siblings kids  (cousins to each other) DW among them. DW is descended from dead Sibling.

Current expectations are "$1M each at the cousin level"

While my estimation, based on conversations with Childless Uncle is at least $5-10M, I very much doubt that things will go smoothly on his passing, no matter what the amount.

DW doubts that there is a will in place. Eeek! 
Well at least we are chubby, maybe Fat-FIRE, so we are not directly affected, but we might have to be involved in the drama.
DW and I only like drama at the remove of TV or movies.

Predictions?

Watch this space for updates.

Zamboni

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1839 on: August 17, 2019, 09:25:38 AM »
^I predict that childless Uncle leaves it all to charity. Given the any family drooling or predictions, that is understandable.

That's what my recently deceased friend did: he had a few million invested, and he did indeed have a will that specified it all went to his university . . . he had told the university in advance through their "planned giving" program associate, so they were not going to get snowed by his nieces and nephews. I can confirm that the university did indeed get the money, which was put into various endowments that he had specified in advance. As a result, they named an endowed scholarship, two rooms in buildings, and a tennis court after him, and his photo is now up on the wall there in a couple of places.

Zhiantara

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1840 on: August 17, 2019, 06:24:23 PM »
This talk of gold diggers reminds me of when Dad's sister told my Mum that she doesn't get a say (in the conversation about Nan) because she is only the daughter-in-law and and is obviously after Nan's money...

What money? The woman has been on a pension for over 30 years...

For her part, Nan is refusing to sell her house and move into aged care because it will eat into the inheritance. If she sold her house today, after fees and related expenses, she would clear, maybe, $300k, although I think it would be closer to $200k. All four of her children are on disability (lifestyle-related degenerative disease, spinal cord injury, severe Crohn's disease, carpal tunnel). It seems like a lump sum of $50-70k would only create headaches with Centrelink.

I tell Nan that no one (except Dad's aforementioned sister) wants her money, and we would prefer that she use it to make sure that she is well taken care of, but that just makes her upset. Because she wants to leave an inheritance.

Chris Pascale

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1841 on: August 18, 2019, 07:40:51 AM »
Dad's sister told my Mum that ..........she is only the daughter-in-law and and is obviously after Nan's money...

.................All four of her children are on disability.........

Your aunt has plenty of time on her hands, and nothing to do, it seems, so lets herself come up with ideas like this. Very sad, because it kills any kind of closeness there could have been.

Jakejake

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1842 on: August 18, 2019, 09:09:16 AM »
Haven't been here for a bit, but my dad passed away last year. He had a book about to be published and my sister contacted the publisher. There was a conversation between her and the publisher about donating the royalties to a charity instead of just getting checks. That's fine. But then my sister, a cat hoarder, approached me to bounce this idea off me: "What if I get my cats designated as a nonprofit and then we can use the book proceeds to pay for their food?"

Uh, no. How about we don't get your freaking cats designated as a charity so you can pocket dad's residual paychecks to feed your own pets?  Especially since mom's still alive, ffs.

Zamboni

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1843 on: August 18, 2019, 02:21:38 PM »
Wow, that's really obnoxious of your sister! Designate her cats as a charity . . . I thought I had heard it all, but that is a new angle for sure.

DadJokes

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1844 on: August 19, 2019, 06:57:54 AM »
Future Drama:

Childless Uncle-great investor, not spender, stealth wealth extreme.

Several Siblings ( some dead)

~20 siblings kids  (cousins to each other) DW among them. DW is descended from dead Sibling.

Current expectations are "$1M each at the cousin level"

While my estimation, based on conversations with Childless Uncle is at least $5-10M, I very much doubt that things will go smoothly on his passing, no matter what the amount.

DW doubts that there is a will in place. Eeek! 
Well at least we are chubby, maybe Fat-FIRE, so we are not directly affected, but we might have to be involved in the drama.
DW and I only like drama at the remove of TV or movies.

Predictions?

Watch this space for updates.

Because you don't need the money, y'all may be in a good position to talk with this uncle about his will. You can just outline your concerns about not wanting a huge family drama and recommend that he go to an attorney and have a good, detailed will drawn up. As long as it comes from a position of love and concern, most people will be receptive to advice.

Dicey

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1845 on: August 19, 2019, 09:14:40 AM »
Haven't been here for a bit, but my dad passed away last year. He had a book about to be published and my sister contacted the publisher. There was a conversation between her and the publisher about donating the royalties to a charity instead of just getting checks. That's fine. But then my sister, a cat hoarder, approached me to bounce this idea off me: "What if I get my cats designated as a nonprofit and then we can use the book proceeds to pay for their food?"

Uh, no. How about we don't get your freaking cats designated as a charity so you can pocket dad's residual paychecks to feed your own pets?  Especially since mom's still alive, ffs.
This article might help her figure out how to do it on her own. Follow it to the end (the article, not the thread). I promise it's relevant.

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/mustachianism-around-the-web/japanese-woman-retires-at-34-after-living-on-$2-a-day-for-16-years/msg2441886/#msg2441886

A couple of years ago, we actually sifted through thousands of charitable asks for an elderly friend who was inundated. So many times, I wanted to scream at people, "What's wrong with working to achieve your dream instead of mooching off of others?!?!"

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1846 on: August 19, 2019, 10:17:14 AM »
Haven't been here for a bit, but my dad passed away last year. He had a book about to be published and my sister contacted the publisher. There was a conversation between her and the publisher about donating the royalties to a charity instead of just getting checks. That's fine. But then my sister, a cat hoarder, approached me to bounce this idea off me: "What if I get my cats designated as a nonprofit and then we can use the book proceeds to pay for their food?"

Uh, no. How about we don't get your freaking cats designated as a charity so you can pocket dad's residual paychecks to feed your own pets?  Especially since mom's still alive, ffs.

Hilarious. First, you sister takes it upon herself to have her mother's income from her husband diverted away from her, and then thinks, 'okay, now to openly do something really dumb.''

Edited to Add: Sorry for your loss.

markbike528CBX

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1847 on: August 19, 2019, 10:24:22 AM »
Future Drama:

Childless Uncle-great investor, not spender, stealth wealth extreme.

Several Siblings ( some dead)

~20 siblings kids  (cousins to each other) DW among them. DW is descended from dead Sibling.

Current expectations are "$1M each at the cousin level"

While my estimation, based on conversations with Childless Uncle is at least $5-10M, I very much doubt that things will go smoothly on his passing, no matter what the amount.

DW doubts that there is a will in place. Eeek! 
Well at least we are chubby, maybe Fat-FIRE, so we are not directly affected, but we might have to be involved in the drama.
DW and I only like drama at the remove of TV or movies.

Predictions?

Watch this space for updates.

Because you don't need the money, y'all may be in a good position to talk with this uncle about his will. You can just outline your concerns about not wanting a huge family drama and recommend that he go to an attorney and have a good, detailed will drawn up. As long as it comes from a position of love and concern, most people will be receptive to advice.

While this is true, we're not that close.
In the 11 years I've been hooked up with (now) DW, I've had no more than 11 minutes of conversation with Childless Uncle. My hope is that DW sibling, who has taken care of Childless Uncle more than anyone, would get a big share.

TVRodriguez

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1848 on: August 19, 2019, 01:15:02 PM »
A friend's dad died earlier this year.  I didn't handle the estate so I don't know exactly what assets he had, but I had some idea.  He didn't have a huge estate, but it was enough to allow each of his three kids to walk away with somewhere between $100,000 and $200,000.  But my friend, a grown woman with two children, is not good with money.  In fact, during her marriage and after her divorce, her dad regularly gave her money or just paid her bills.  Now my friend was completely devastated by her dad's death, but she is saying things to mutual friends like, "well, at least now I don't have to work."  WTF?  She didn't inherit enough to be FI.  Not the way she spends money.  I just got some photos of her (multiple) international summer travels with her kids. 

I guess it's not really drama but it's like watching a train heading for a wreck.

SwordGuy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1849 on: August 19, 2019, 01:35:13 PM »
A friend's dad died earlier this year.  I didn't handle the estate so I don't know exactly what assets he had, but I had some idea.  He didn't have a huge estate, but it was enough to allow each of his three kids to walk away with somewhere between $100,000 and $200,000.  But my friend, a grown woman with two children, is not good with money.  In fact, during her marriage and after her divorce, her dad regularly gave her money or just paid her bills.  Now my friend was completely devastated by her dad's death, but she is saying things to mutual friends like, "well, at least now I don't have to work."  WTF?  She didn't inherit enough to be FI.  Not the way she spends money.  I just got some photos of her (multiple) international summer travels with her kids. 

I guess it's not really drama but it's like watching a train heading for a wreck.

Real friends don't let their friends do something that stupid without giving them a heart-to-heart talk first.

Your friend will probably do the stupid thing anyway, but (a) at least you tried and (b) they'll be less likely to hit you up for sympathy or money when the train wreck happens.  Either way, it's a win.