Author Topic: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.  (Read 1171237 times)

JetBlast

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2850 on: February 04, 2022, 11:16:54 PM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?

trashtalk

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2851 on: February 05, 2022, 09:53:28 AM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
Yeah there’s a fancy legal word for this inheritance setup but I can’t remember what it is.

I know someone who was planning to skip his kids and have the grandkids be his heirs. One kid had produced one grandkid and another kid had produced four grandkids. The “unfair” distribution went over like a lead balloon with first kid, even thought it wouldn’t have gone to them in any case. I believe after years of whining by first kid the dad reverted to having the kids being the heirs.

Taran Wanderer

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2852 on: February 05, 2022, 10:08:50 AM »
When DM remarried, she informed DB and me that she and DSF would split their (meager) assets equally between DB and me (50%) and DSF’s 3 kids (50%). After they were married several years, they figured it had been long enough and changed up the Will so everyone gets 20%. Seems fair. Unless it goes to grandkids… the kids have 4, 3, 3, 3, and 1 grandkids, and there are great grandchildren now, too. Somebody somewhere will always find something unfair. Better to worry about supporting your own darn self and let those who are giving do what they’re going to do.

MissNancyPryor

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2853 on: February 05, 2022, 10:16:27 AM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
Yeah there’s a fancy legal word for this inheritance setup but I can’t remember what it is.

I know someone who was planning to skip his kids and have the grandkids be his heirs. One kid had produced one grandkid and another kid had produced four grandkids. The “unfair” distribution went over like a lead balloon with first kid, even thought it wouldn’t have gone to them in any case. I believe after years of whining by first kid the dad reverted to having the kids being the heirs.

I think this is "per stirpes" and it often gets the grand kids all wound up about something being unfair.  As if.  People really get twisted about what they think is their right to other peoples' stuff, as @Zamboni reminds us with that recent drama.     

The scene in "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World" where the groups try to decide how to divide up the yet unfound loot is a good example of per stirpes.  Is it by CAR or is it by PERSON?  Does the RELATIONSHIP in the car matter? 

RUN FOR THE MONEY was their solution.

Sibley

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2854 on: February 05, 2022, 11:55:13 AM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
Yeah there’s a fancy legal word for this inheritance setup but I can’t remember what it is.

I know someone who was planning to skip his kids and have the grandkids be his heirs. One kid had produced one grandkid and another kid had produced four grandkids. The “unfair” distribution went over like a lead balloon with first kid, even thought it wouldn’t have gone to them in any case. I believe after years of whining by first kid the dad reverted to having the kids being the heirs.

I think this is "per stirpes" and it often gets the grand kids all wound up about something being unfair.  As if.  People really get twisted about what they think is their right to other peoples' stuff, as @Zamboni reminds us with that recent drama.     

The scene in "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World" where the groups try to decide how to divide up the yet unfound loot is a good example of per stirpes.  Is it by CAR or is it by PERSON?  Does the RELATIONSHIP in the car matter? 

RUN FOR THE MONEY was their solution.

That is a hilarious movie though.

trashtalk

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Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2855 on: February 05, 2022, 12:54:24 PM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
Yeah there’s a fancy legal word for this inheritance setup but I can’t remember what it is.

I know someone who was planning to skip his kids and have the grandkids be his heirs. One kid had produced one grandkid and another kid had produced four grandkids. The “unfair” distribution went over like a lead balloon with first kid, even thought it wouldn’t have gone to them in any case. I believe after years of whining by first kid the dad reverted to having the kids being the heirs.

I **think this is "per stirpes" and it often gets the grand kids all wound up about something being unfair.  As if.** People really get twisted about what they think is their right to other peoples' stuff, as @Zamboni reminds us with that recent drama.     

Well you inspired me to read up and the Wikipedia article on the various possible splits. Per capita versus per stirpes and the various flavors of each is very interesting!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Per_stirpes

Also interesting from the inheritance article: “In modern law, the terms *inheritance* and *heir* refer exclusively to succession to property by descent from a deceased dying intestate. Takers in property succeeded to under a will are termed generally *beneficiaries*, and specifically devises for real property, *bequests* for personal property (except money), or *legatees* for money.”
« Last Edit: February 05, 2022, 01:00:23 PM by trashtalk »

marion10

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2856 on: February 05, 2022, 02:16:00 PM »
A friend of mine is a beneficiary of a generation skipping trust- I guess there are tax advantages- skipped over  parents and went to grandchildren.

AMandM

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2857 on: February 05, 2022, 02:30:11 PM »
His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children.
Once he dies and his two ex-wives inherit, isn't that "it" indistinguishable from the rest of their money?  When one of the ex-wives dies, how can you say which of her dollars are "hers" to bequeath as she chooses and which of them are "the ones she inherited" that have to be split among her children?

scottish

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2858 on: February 05, 2022, 02:41:12 PM »
His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children.
Once he dies and his two ex-wives inherit, isn't that "it" indistinguishable from the rest of their money?  When one of the ex-wives dies, how can you say which of her dollars are "hers" to bequeath as she chooses and which of them are "the ones she inherited" that have to be split among her children?

Unless one or both of them dies first...

SwordGuy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2859 on: February 05, 2022, 06:09:26 PM »
His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children.
Once he dies and his two ex-wives inherit, isn't that "it" indistinguishable from the rest of their money?  When one of the ex-wives dies, how can you say which of her dollars are "hers" to bequeath as she chooses and which of them are "the ones she inherited" that have to be split among her children?

Unless one or both of them dies first...
Pretty sure that then the kids of the deceased wife would get it unless the will specified otherwise.

gooki

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2860 on: February 05, 2022, 08:18:27 PM »
Quote
Once he dies and his two ex-wives inherit, isn't that "it"

Yip. For all they know it'll all get spent and nothing will be handed down to the children.

Chris Pascale

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2861 on: February 05, 2022, 10:17:59 PM »

Challenge


I challenge you to go get some separate term life insurance

To add to this, I got a 20-year $1,000,000 policy at age 33 and it costs $730 a year. My wife got the same at age 36 and the price wasn't much different.

FIPurpose

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2862 on: February 06, 2022, 08:37:33 AM »
I got a term insurance policy through https://www.healthiq.com/blog/ in my late 20's. $500k for ~$150 per year.

JetBlast

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2863 on: February 06, 2022, 11:24:24 PM »
His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children.
Once he dies and his two ex-wives inherit, isn't that "it" indistinguishable from the rest of their money?  When one of the ex-wives dies, how can you say which of her dollars are "hers" to bequeath as she chooses and which of them are "the ones she inherited" that have to be split among her children?

That’s one of the two major reasons I think it’s a terrible plan. Exes could blow it all the kids get nothing. The second is setting up the three older siblings to feel like they got cheated out their ‘fair share’ since ex-DW would almost certainly be getting the bulk of her mother’s estate.

I think he’s actually trying to avoid a fight by handing it to the ex-wives. Instead of the kids squabbling about who needs or deserves it more, he’ll give it to the exes 50/50 and then the kids have no claim to fair and unfair shares since they’re inheriting from their mother, not him. Logically it seems reasonable, but the siblings aren’t Vulcans and human emotions tend to get in the way of that sort of thinking.

I have little faith that plan will leave nobody feeling hurt, and I’m glad I won’t have to be involved. 
« Last Edit: February 06, 2022, 11:39:22 PM by JetBlast »

former player

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2864 on: February 07, 2022, 03:02:36 AM »
His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children.
Once he dies and his two ex-wives inherit, isn't that "it" indistinguishable from the rest of their money?  When one of the ex-wives dies, how can you say which of her dollars are "hers" to bequeath as she chooses and which of them are "the ones she inherited" that have to be split among her children?

That’s one of the two major reasons I think it’s a terrible plan. Exes could blow it all the kids get nothing. The second is setting up the three older siblings to feel like they got cheated out their ‘fair share’ since ex-DW would almost certainly be getting the bulk of her mother’s estate.

I think he’s actually trying to avoid a fight by handing it to the ex-wives. Instead of the kids squabbling about who needs or deserves it more, he’ll give it to the exes 50/50 and then the kids have no claim to fair and unfair shares since they’re inheriting from their mother, not him. Logically it seems reasonable, but the siblings aren’t Vulcans and human emotions tend to get in the way of that sort of thinking.

I have little faith that plan will leave nobody feeling hurt, and I’m glad I won’t have to be involved.
The usual method for dealing with spendthrift widows is to leave them a life interest only - they can spend the interest but not the capital, so the capital gets handed down to the kids.  The problem is finding trustees who will do a good job of investing the capital and doling out the interest.

talltexan

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2865 on: February 07, 2022, 06:45:12 AM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
Yeah there’s a fancy legal word for this inheritance setup but I can’t remember what it is.

I know someone who was planning to skip his kids and have the grandkids be his heirs. One kid had produced one grandkid and another kid had produced four grandkids. The “unfair” distribution went over like a lead balloon with first kid, even thought it wouldn’t have gone to them in any case. I believe after years of whining by first kid the dad reverted to having the kids being the heirs.

I think this is "per stirpes" and it often gets the grand kids all wound up about something being unfair.  As if.  People really get twisted about what they think is their right to other peoples' stuff, as @Zamboni reminds us with that recent drama.     

The scene in "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World" where the groups try to decide how to divide up the yet unfound loot is a good example of per stirpes.  Is it by CAR or is it by PERSON?  Does the RELATIONSHIP in the car matter? 

RUN FOR THE MONEY was their solution.

Everyone who was in a car that pulled over by that wreck (in the opening scene) would have still gotten $zero if they'd followed through on the fair division, because Culpepper would have done some Civil asset forfeiture bs anyway, their best chance was to try to get to the money as quickly as possible (which they were motivated to try by mistrust of each other).

DadJokes

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2866 on: February 07, 2022, 06:53:11 AM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?

The greediness of people knows no bounds.

If I knew that I was getting north of $2 million, I wouldn't be throwing a hissy fit because my step sibling is getting $7 million. None of it is money that I earned, so getting anything at all is great.

Captain FIRE

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2867 on: February 07, 2022, 07:52:02 AM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?

The greediness of people knows no bounds.

If I knew that I was getting north of $2 million, I wouldn't be throwing a hissy fit because my step sibling is getting $7 million. None of it is money that I earned, so getting anything at all is great.

I get it though.  $2 million v. $3.5 million is a large difference.  Considering they are both divorced wives, with no current spouse, it does seem odd to split by ex wives instead of children.  And then it starts getting into all of the emotional issues - does this mean I'm loved less, did dad not care enough about me to think this through, etc.

DeniseNJ

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2868 on: February 07, 2022, 09:13:54 AM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?

The greediness of people knows no bounds.

If I knew that I was getting north of $2 million, I wouldn't be throwing a hissy fit because my step sibling is getting $7 million. None of it is money that I earned, so getting anything at all is great.

I get it though.  $2 million v. $3.5 million is a large difference.  Considering they are both divorced wives, with no current spouse, it does seem odd to split by ex wives instead of children.  And then it starts getting into all of the emotional issues - does this mean I'm loved less, did dad not care enough about me to think this through, etc.
I'm with you.  It really should be left to his children equally.  Not to the ex-wives.  Also, not to grandchildren but to the children themselves.  If a child/heir has 1 child or ten it should not make a difference, that's their choice.  Just like if the parent/deceased had one kid they would get it all but if the parent/deceased had ten kids, then the "fortune" gets divided by ten.  Maybe it sucks to be one of ten when money is concerned but that's a choice parents make.  Under ordinary circumstances, leave everything equally to your kids.  Or better yet, blow it all!  ;)

Captain FIRE

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2869 on: February 07, 2022, 09:32:49 AM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?

The greediness of people knows no bounds.

If I knew that I was getting north of $2 million, I wouldn't be throwing a hissy fit because my step sibling is getting $7 million. None of it is money that I earned, so getting anything at all is great.

I get it though.  $2 million v. $3.5 million is a large difference.  Considering they are both divorced wives, with no current spouse, it does seem odd to split by ex wives instead of children.  And then it starts getting into all of the emotional issues - does this mean I'm loved less, did dad not care enough about me to think this through, etc.
I'm with you.  It really should be left to his children equally.  Not to the ex-wives.  Also, not to grandchildren but to the children themselves.  If a child/heir has 1 child or ten it should not make a difference, that's their choice.  Just like if the parent/deceased had one kid they would get it all but if the parent/deceased had ten kids, then the "fortune" gets divided by ten.  Maybe it sucks to be one of ten when money is concerned but that's a choice parents make.  Under ordinary circumstances, leave everything equally to your kids.  Or better yet, blow it all!  ;)

Yep.  To be clear, it's not their money, and fully the dad's choice as to how to distribute, if at all.  BUT that said, I think it's ripe for issues and I 100% get why people might feel hurt, even if they each had $10 million in the bank.

DadJokes

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2870 on: February 07, 2022, 10:22:50 AM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?

The greediness of people knows no bounds.

If I knew that I was getting north of $2 million, I wouldn't be throwing a hissy fit because my step sibling is getting $7 million. None of it is money that I earned, so getting anything at all is great.

I get it though.  $2 million v. $3.5 million is a large difference.  Considering they are both divorced wives, with no current spouse, it does seem odd to split by ex wives instead of children.  And then it starts getting into all of the emotional issues - does this mean I'm loved less, did dad not care enough about me to think this through, etc.
I'm with you.  It really should be left to his children equally.  Not to the ex-wives.  Also, not to grandchildren but to the children themselves.  If a child/heir has 1 child or ten it should not make a difference, that's their choice.  Just like if the parent/deceased had one kid they would get it all but if the parent/deceased had ten kids, then the "fortune" gets divided by ten.  Maybe it sucks to be one of ten when money is concerned but that's a choice parents make.  Under ordinary circumstances, leave everything equally to your kids.  Or better yet, blow it all!  ;)

Yep.  To be clear, it's not their money, and fully the dad's choice as to how to distribute, if at all.  BUT that said, I think it's ripe for issues and I 100% get why people might feel hurt, even if they each had $10 million in the bank.

I guess that's all the more reason for deceased dad to have discussed this with the kids when he was alive.

Maybe my perspective is because I don't plan to receive much of an inheritance, but I don't measure my father's love for me based on how much he plans to leave me. I have two step-siblings, and they can have all of my father's stuff for all I care. They probably need it more anyway.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2871 on: February 07, 2022, 10:39:35 AM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?

The greediness of people knows no bounds.

If I knew that I was getting north of $2 million, I wouldn't be throwing a hissy fit because my step sibling is getting $7 million. None of it is money that I earned, so getting anything at all is great.

I get it though.  $2 million v. $3.5 million is a large difference.  Considering they are both divorced wives, with no current spouse, it does seem odd to split by ex wives instead of children.  And then it starts getting into all of the emotional issues - does this mean I'm loved less, did dad not care enough about me to think this through, etc.
I'm with you.  It really should be left to his children equally.  Not to the ex-wives.  Also, not to grandchildren but to the children themselves.  If a child/heir has 1 child or ten it should not make a difference, that's their choice.  Just like if the parent/deceased had one kid they would get it all but if the parent/deceased had ten kids, then the "fortune" gets divided by ten.  Maybe it sucks to be one of ten when money is concerned but that's a choice parents make.  Under ordinary circumstances, leave everything equally to your kids.  Or better yet, blow it all!  ;)

Yep.  To be clear, it's not their money, and fully the dad's choice as to how to distribute, if at all.  BUT that said, I think it's ripe for issues and I 100% get why people might feel hurt, even if they each had $10 million in the bank.

I think that of all the choices in this case the most "fair" is to split everything equal among the children.  I don't know the dynamics of this particular case, but children from first marriages often feel replaced by children from subsequent ones.  This is not going to help this at all. 

Zamboni

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2872 on: February 07, 2022, 03:54:50 PM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?

The greediness of people knows no bounds.

If I knew that I was getting north of $2 million, I wouldn't be throwing a hissy fit because my step sibling is getting $7 million. None of it is money that I earned, so getting anything at all is great.

I get it though.  $2 million v. $3.5 million is a large difference.  Considering they are both divorced wives, with no current spouse, it does seem odd to split by ex wives instead of children.  And then it starts getting into all of the emotional issues - does this mean I'm loved less, did dad not care enough about me to think this through, etc.
I'm with you.  It really should be left to his children equally.  Not to the ex-wives.  Also, not to grandchildren but to the children themselves.  If a child/heir has 1 child or ten it should not make a difference, that's their choice.  Just like if the parent/deceased had one kid they would get it all but if the parent/deceased had ten kids, then the "fortune" gets divided by ten.  Maybe it sucks to be one of ten when money is concerned but that's a choice parents make.  Under ordinary circumstances, leave everything equally to your kids.  Or better yet, blow it all!  ;)

Y'all are neglecting the fact that the ex-wives both probably need this money to live out their days. Perhaps they were both homemakers? And why should he leave anything to his children at all? How his fortune is split between his wives is a stupid thing for his kids to worry over . . . instead they should be happy that he had money to leave, and so their Moms are not destitute.

Captain FIRE

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2873 on: February 07, 2022, 04:52:29 PM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?

The greediness of people knows no bounds.

If I knew that I was getting north of $2 million, I wouldn't be throwing a hissy fit because my step sibling is getting $7 million. None of it is money that I earned, so getting anything at all is great.

I get it though.  $2 million v. $3.5 million is a large difference.  Considering they are both divorced wives, with no current spouse, it does seem odd to split by ex wives instead of children.  And then it starts getting into all of the emotional issues - does this mean I'm loved less, did dad not care enough about me to think this through, etc.
I'm with you.  It really should be left to his children equally.  Not to the ex-wives.  Also, not to grandchildren but to the children themselves.  If a child/heir has 1 child or ten it should not make a difference, that's their choice.  Just like if the parent/deceased had one kid they would get it all but if the parent/deceased had ten kids, then the "fortune" gets divided by ten.  Maybe it sucks to be one of ten when money is concerned but that's a choice parents make.  Under ordinary circumstances, leave everything equally to your kids.  Or better yet, blow it all!  ;)

Y'all are neglecting the fact that the ex-wives both probably need this money to live out their days. Perhaps they were both homemakers? And why should he leave anything to his children at all? How his fortune is split between his wives is a stupid thing for his kids to worry over . . . instead they should be happy that he had money to leave, and so their Moms are not destitute.

Ex wives I repeat again. Presumably that was taken care of in the divorces, particularly where the poster offers no hint they are “destitute”.

Zamboni

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« Reply #2874 on: February 07, 2022, 06:20:06 PM »
Yeah, you are probably right. I was just trying to think of a reason why a guy would leave all that money to his ex-wives. Guilty conscience, maybe? Perhaps by "taken care of" they were getting alimony payments which stop when he dies, and he wants to make sure they are okay? I really don't know.

Anyway, I don't think people should feel entitled to inheritances. I agree that the guy's plan is terrible, but it's his money and he is allowed to give it to whomever he pleases. To be honest, many of the stories along these lines seem to end with the 3rd wife getting everything and the earlier wives and biological children getting nothing, so his children should be happy if any money does eventually go to them.

SwordGuy

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« Reply #2875 on: February 07, 2022, 06:37:45 PM »
Just because you don't want to be married to someone anymore doesn't mean you don't care for them.   

If the deceased cares enough for their ex-wives to give them money in their will, it's their own God-damned business and no one else's, unless the law says otherwise.

Same as if they like kittens and decide to give all their money to no-kill cat shelters.



Captain FIRE

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« Reply #2876 on: February 07, 2022, 07:38:49 PM »
Yes, as I said, he's absolutely entitled to do what he likes with the money...but that does not make the feelings go away (which most agree here are understandable even if not admirable).  And if the dad wants the kids to be friends after he passes - this isn't the best path towards that.

talltexan

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« Reply #2877 on: February 08, 2022, 09:50:58 AM »
If the children came from two relationships, there may be the kind of age difference that means the older children are significantly better off than the younger.

Of course, that difference may be an illusion of their age. $2 million probably changes the life of a 20-year old much more than it changes the life of a 35-year-old.

AlanStache

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« Reply #2878 on: February 08, 2022, 11:00:41 AM »
If the children came from two relationships, there may be the kind of age difference that means the older children are significantly better off than the younger.

Of course, that difference may be an illusion of their age. $2 million probably changes the life of a 20-year old much more than it changes the life of a 35-year-old.

I am over 40 and FI but $2mil drastically increase the amount of hookers and blow in my life :-)  yeah age matters but that cash magnitude sort of swamps the age effects. 

Chris Pascale

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« Reply #2879 on: February 08, 2022, 09:55:10 PM »
$2mil drastically increase the amount of hookers and blow in my life :-) 

And the amount you can waste, too!

stashja

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« Reply #2880 on: February 13, 2022, 05:14:42 PM »
Somewhat close relatives. sudden death. a lot of money. Most of the adult kids are brats. One of of them has gotten married on a whim twice in 5 years and is now on something like her 4th or 5th change of last name because she has zero sense of personal identity except as somebody else's trophy and ATM. Most of them are unemployable because they've been coddled forever. Other relatives are insisting the decedent promised them money or houses. It's a shitshow. This is why I don't communicate with most of my family. They might sneer at me for looking unfashionable or thrifting but my husband and I are debt free, happy with what we have, and able to live on our means. What an idea.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2022, 05:16:41 PM by stashja »

talltexan

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« Reply #2881 on: February 16, 2022, 07:23:30 AM »
I had times in my thirties where I thought a couple mill might actually be enough to pay for all the childcare I wanted to hire. :-)

kina

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« Reply #2882 on: February 16, 2022, 09:15:37 AM »
I had times in my thirties where I thought a couple mill might actually be enough to pay for all the childcare I wanted to hire. :-)
oh, yeah...

TheGrimSqueaker

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« Reply #2883 on: February 16, 2022, 03:11:40 PM »
I think that of all the choices in this case the most "fair" is to split everything equal among the children.  I don't know the dynamics of this particular case, but children from first marriages often feel replaced by children from subsequent ones.  This is not going to help this at all.


If you ever want some juicy reading, type "accidental disinheritance" into a search engine.

talltexan

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« Reply #2884 on: February 17, 2022, 06:52:38 AM »
I also think about guys like Rupert Murdoch, whose older sons become essentially business partners, while his third wives have to pull together an All-Star legal team just to make sure the newest kids get some coin.

Money Badger

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« Reply #2885 on: February 20, 2022, 09:22:02 PM »
@talltexan,   THIS!  The youngest kids usually get screwed by the older ones (or whoever is in the executor's camp) unless there are real estate or funded trusts (the latter charge for ensuring distribution to the decedent's wishes of course)...  I'm a youngest child on both sides of my family...   I saw the wills for 3 of my 4 grandparents and an uncle who passed.  In each case, the liquid assets that I was clearly named beneficiary to were stolen by the older kids (the supposed "elder gentlemen" of the family at that point).   The latest case, I knew to look for the documents and seek counsel when,  instead of talking to me, said executor tried to put an attorney in front of me who came at me with a "take this generous settlement, sign here quick" approach...  Found out with my own counsel engaged that said executor is very clearly trying to confiscate half of the home equity that had clear signed estate planning agreements to come to me in a trust.   I've also been the executor of a parent's estate and probated a will (simple case with just one sibling to split) the assets...  We did this evenly and it's not rocket science if a good will is in place and witnesses to the will are still alive.   All those who stole from me (and indirectly my kids) in the past claiming how hard it was at the time to "handle the burden" while they stole, then pissed away the equity, are below contempt.

NorCal

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« Reply #2886 on: February 22, 2022, 03:46:40 PM »
I also think about guys like Rupert Murdoch, whose older sons become essentially business partners, while his third wives have to pull together an All-Star legal team just to make sure the newest kids get some coin.

I must say I have been enjoying watching “Succession”. It’s entirely fictional, but loosely inspired by the Murdoch family drama. It’s worth watching for any fan of this thread.

Zamboni

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« Reply #2887 on: February 22, 2022, 06:54:14 PM »
Thanks again, @DeniseNJ, for the link to the NAIC link! Mr. Zamboni has started that process.

We figured out that what DotLWaT! meant when she wrote to him with:

"You have to send me a photocopy of your ID and social security number so I can claim this life insurance for the estate because only the first person listed can submit a claim, and you are listed first"

really probably meant

"You are the primary beneficiary, but I would like to take that money for myself instead."

In that same communication, she also demanded that he write her a check for a portion of the money if he claimed it himself instead. LOLOL.

If he does get anything from this mysterious policy, he is going to split it evenly between the deceased's grandchildren for their college funds. That will be a nice surprise for his nephews, and it will probably be all they ever see from the estate given DotLWaT's machinations.
He laughed at @Sibley 's comment about donating it to an animal shelter . . . I told him the best use of the funds would be hookers and blow, but he has this idea that college funds would honor the deceased better.

Success story: Mr. Zamboni has received funds from the mysterious life insurance that DotLWaT was trying to claim even though he was listed as the beneficiary. It was about 3 times the amount he was expecting based upon what she said when she was trying to get copies of his personal identification out of him so that she could claim it. Maybe it was whole life and the amount grew since the statement she found? Or maybe she under-reported the amount significantly in her communications to him? We'll never know . . .

Couldn't have done it without the kind folks here!

Taran Wanderer

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« Reply #2888 on: February 22, 2022, 10:52:38 PM »
Hooray!

Dicey

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« Reply #2889 on: February 22, 2022, 11:49:18 PM »
Score one for the good guys. Hooray!

JoePublic3.14

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« Reply #2890 on: February 23, 2022, 05:17:01 AM »
That’s great! And such a good example that regardless of all the crap flying around, the process works. I am sure insurance companies get want-to-be-beneficiaries calling all the time, but they are efficient at getting the funds to the rightful people.


AMandM

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« Reply #2891 on: February 23, 2022, 06:34:27 AM »
Hurray and congrats! I`m so glad this went right for Mr. Zamboni.

eta: Does DotLWaT know? What was her reaction?

DeniseNJ

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« Reply #2892 on: February 23, 2022, 07:21:15 AM »
So glad this worked!  Can't wait to find out what his sis says when she finds out!  Just remember, and repeat, he was the named beneficiary and insurance proceeds are not part of an estate so he doesn't owe her, and shouldn't pay her, a dime.  This is so awesome.  She's going to lose her mind. lol.

Turtle

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« Reply #2893 on: February 23, 2022, 07:22:31 AM »
That's great news! 

Tempting as it might be to tell the DotLWaT, the lower drama course of action would be to let her wonder about it and stew in her own issues.

Adventine

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« Reply #2894 on: February 23, 2022, 07:30:31 AM »
If it was me in Mr. Zamboni's shoes, I would be soooo tempted to say something to DotLWaT.

BUT it might be even sweeter justice to wait for DotLWaT to uncover more stuff for which Mr. Zamboni is a beneficiary, wait for her to follow up ("Now I need your info for policies x, y, AND z!") and then Mr. Zamboni can just go and file more claims directly with the insurance companies. Cha-ching!

Zamboni

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« Reply #2895 on: February 23, 2022, 07:49:51 AM »
Yeah, he knows what he is going to do with the money, but for now mum is the word. He doesn't want to interact with DotLWaT at all . . . he felt this way when I met him, but for many years I encouraged him to play nice (bc she's family, etc.) At this point, even my kind heart has given up on that relationship.

Once the estate is completely settled, with the house sold and probate all completed, then he'll send checks to the deceased's grandsons. It's a decent chunk of money, so it will help them with college or whatever they need to start their adult lives, but for us it is an irrelevant amount in the grand scheme of things.

Turtle

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« Reply #2896 on: February 23, 2022, 08:41:14 AM »
Sounds like an excellent plan to me.

Sibley

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« Reply #2897 on: February 23, 2022, 08:55:29 AM »
Yeah, he knows what he is going to do with the money, but for now mum is the word. He doesn't want to interact with DotLWaT at all . . . he felt this way when I met him, but for many years I encouraged him to play nice (bc she's family, etc.) At this point, even my kind heart has given up on that relationship.

Once the estate is completely settled, with the house sold and probate all completed, then he'll send checks to the deceased's grandsons. It's a decent chunk of money, so it will help them with college or whatever they need to start their adult lives, but for us it is an irrelevant amount in the grand scheme of things.

Zamboni, I'm sorry, but that one sentence makes me curse you. I HATE it when an outsider comes into the family and assumes that everyone should play by their rules without considering that maybe, just maybe, there's a damn good reason why certain dynamics exist. Who are you, or anyone, to dictate that someone interact with anyone "because family". In this case it sounds like it wasn't as bad as it could be - but that isn't always the case.

Capsu78

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« Reply #2898 on: February 23, 2022, 12:56:10 PM »
Yes, that sounds like a payoff from a long held Whole life policy-  The "death benefit"  (tax free IIUC) and a built up "additional cash value"  (which is considered income, again IIUC).

NorthernIkigai

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« Reply #2899 on: February 23, 2022, 01:04:50 PM »
Yeah, he knows what he is going to do with the money, but for now mum is the word. He doesn't want to interact with DotLWaT at all . . . he felt this way when I met him, but for many years I encouraged him to play nice (bc she's family, etc.) At this point, even my kind heart has given up on that relationship.

Once the estate is completely settled, with the house sold and probate all completed, then he'll send checks to the deceased's grandsons. It's a decent chunk of money, so it will help them with college or whatever they need to start their adult lives, but for us it is an irrelevant amount in the grand scheme of things.

Zamboni, I'm sorry, but that one sentence makes me curse you. I HATE it when an outsider comes into the family and assumes that everyone should play by their rules without considering that maybe, just maybe, there's a damn good reason why certain dynamics exist. Who are you, or anyone, to dictate that someone interact with anyone "because family". In this case it sounds like it wasn't as bad as it could be - but that isn't always the case.

Hmm, I know it’s all relative (hah!), but I wouldn’t equate “encourage” with “dictate”. I think it’s quite normal for a couple to discuss these kinds of things and look to each other for advice and thoughts. Interactions with the wider family affect both partners in a couple, so it only makes sense to decide such things as a unit. That doesn’t mean one person is dictating anything.