It would seem to me that the funeral home would have to release the funds to the executor/estate, not to individuals who claim some right to them based on familial relationships. No? If, for example, the brother was excluded from the will, he wouldn't be entitled to anything. So there is no way the funeral home can determine who gets a piece, which would mean the money goes to the estate.
That's how it works in Canada...
Funny, I was my parent's co-executor and co-trustee. It never even occurred to us to ask if there was any money left over. Too late now, but I wonder if this really happens often?
Valid point, but there was no will; both men had Power of Attorney over their mom; but that terminates at death, as I learned when my Mom passed. The funeral director had told me that there was a very small balance on my Mom's pre-need; but her will had been destroyed by my evil sibling, so there was no record of it; lawyer who created the will stated he didn't keep copies.
I never received any reimbursement check and just assumed the evil sibling had convinced the funeral director to send it all to her; after our legal battles over her theft of my mom's estate, I had no interest to even find out, but now I'm wondering if it was sent to the state as unclaimed funds. I had a bank account set up in my Mom's name w/me as POA, and when she passed, I contacted the bank to close the account. They said it had to go to probate. Account balance was $0.17 and no other assets, so I'm letting that go to unclaimed funds, of course!
With regards to the in-laws, we certainly aren't going to get involved, but maybe that is for the best - neither of them get anything, and the state might notice it and lay claim as compensation for nursing home care, which is where any excess funds SHOULD go.
Edited for typos and to add a little more info:
@partgypsy, I'm sorry for the loss of your father, especially during the Covid mess. It's quite difficult to move on without the closure that a wake/mass/burial provides. Like you, we are thinking a celebration of life get together at some point will be the best we can do.
I don't know where you live, and costs vary wildly, but both my Mom and Dad had almost identical funeral plans, and even though we could have bought a casket elsewhere for far less; I knew they would want to support the local funeral home as a small business, so I just agreed to pick what they offered, knowing full well it was a rip off. Although, after dealing w/my family and their drama, they may have earned every penny. Each funeral cost $16K, covering flowers, casket, 3 wake sessions, those little prayer cards and a sign in book, thank you notes, the mass donation, a flower car, hearse and two towncar/limosines to transport family, costs to remove the marker and update it, and a color photo. The crypt they chose housed two caskets and was already paid for; I don't even want to guess how expensive that was!
After going through the whole thing w/Dad, I decided that 1 wake session was enough, and limosines to transport warring family wasn't a good idea, which worked out fine, b/c the only family that bothered to show up was my sibling and I. 18 years had passed between the two services, but I think pre-need accounts for those costs through the interest. At this point, I'm just relieved it's all over, and that our future funeral planning would be for my father in law, as the only elder left. Hubby and his brother are both of the same mind, so that should consist of a low-cost cremation service and probably just an in-house memorial at my FIL's home, for his neighbor friends to attend.