Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.

[Sibley]

Yes. I do have baggage and I do have a therapist. I feel like I have healed and gotten better. But this re opens old wounds.

Being able to articulate the hurt as you have does seem to me to like a whole lot of healing has happened. And that is a whole lot of pressure on the scar tissue.

This, exactly. There's no shame in being human.

[Hula Hoop]

So my inheritance news is mom told us her intentions last night. She had a bad emmeshed relationship with oldest son where both her and father spent all their resources on him till he died. The weird relationship in lesser form continues with sis. Last night she told me she intends on sis 100% beneficiary of all her assets. I
Knew this was going to happen bc that has been the refrain from sis, all she's been talking about for a few months. Also pushing mom to write a will to that effect. This is after mom already helps her with money every month, gave her a car, and paid a 25k bill for her.  While the 2 sibs that are responsible and busting their butts,  get nothing. The three things are. I dk by the time mom dies there will be anything left. She may be counting on something that won't be there. Rather than focusing on that she needs to focus on,  how to take care of herself like an adult and means of employment. I am mad on behalf of my brother. Otherwise than mom paying a 100-200 bill each month, brother has been hosting both of them, at his expense. He could use the help! Finally, it hurts my feelings. It's irrational but it's true. I feel like I'm the invisible one. This is the latest in a long line of incidences. I still remember a family outing when I was a little kid. We stopped at a rest area. My family took off without me. I dk how long it was. But it was long enough I saw new families arrive, eat their lunches, and leave, until they realized I wasn't in the car and came back for me.

I'm so sorry @partgypsy that must really hurt. 

[Zamboni]

So my inheritance news is mom told us her intentions last night. She had a bad emmeshed relationship with oldest son where both her and father spent all their resources on him till he died. The weird relationship in lesser form continues with sis. Last night she told me she intends on sis 100% beneficiary of all her assets. I
Knew this was going to happen bc that has been the refrain from sis, all she's been talking about for a few months. Also pushing mom to write a will to that effect. This is after mom already helps her with money every month, gave her a car, and paid a 25k bill for her.  While the 2 sibs that are responsible and busting their butts,  get nothing. The three things are. I dk by the time mom dies there will be anything left. She may be counting on something that won't be there. Rather than focusing on that she needs to focus on,  how to take care of herself like an adult and means of employment. I am mad on behalf of my brother. Otherwise than mom paying a 100-200 bill each month, brother has been hosting both of them, at his expense. He could use the help! Finally, it hurts my feelings. It's irrational but it's true. I feel like I'm the invisible one. This is the latest in a long line of incidences. I still remember a family outing when I was a little kid. We stopped at a rest area. My family took off without me. I dk how long it was. But it was long enough I saw new families arrive, eat their lunches, and leave, until they realized I wasn't in the car and came back for me.

It's not irrational at all. In fact, it is totally understandable that you feel the way you do. Your are being treated badly, and you have a right to be (insert any adjective you feel here: sad, angry, annoyed, disappointed, unloved, etc.) I'm sorry you are going through this. (Hugs)

Hopefully I have talked one of my friends out of doing this to her sons: rewarding bad behavior by their very irresponsible son by favoring him in the asset distribution. It's bad enough that he is draining so many of their resources from his parents while they are alive . . . it would be adding insult to injury to their other two sons to give him more than an equal share in the will. I hope she sticks to it as he lives with them even though he is middle aged and not disabled. Due to being with them every day, it seems like he is constantly manipulating them into doing what he wants.

[Wolfpack Mustachian]

So my inheritance news is mom told us her intentions last night. She had a bad emmeshed relationship with oldest son where both her and father spent all their resources on him till he died. The weird relationship in lesser form continues with sis. Last night she told me she intends on sis 100% beneficiary of all her assets. I
Knew this was going to happen bc that has been the refrain from sis, all she's been talking about for a few months. Also pushing mom to write a will to that effect. This is after mom already helps her with money every month, gave her a car, and paid a 25k bill for her.  While the 2 sibs that are responsible and busting their butts,  get nothing. The three things are. I dk by the time mom dies there will be anything left. She may be counting on something that won't be there. Rather than focusing on that she needs to focus on,  how to take care of herself like an adult and means of employment. I am mad on behalf of my brother. Otherwise than mom paying a 100-200 bill each month, brother has been hosting both of them, at his expense. He could use the help! Finally, it hurts my feelings. It's irrational but it's true. I feel like I'm the invisible one. This is the latest in a long line of incidences. I still remember a family outing when I was a little kid. We stopped at a rest area. My family took off without me. I dk how long it was. But it was long enough I saw new families arrive, eat their lunches, and leave, until they realized I wasn't in the car and came back for me.

I appreciate your honesty and transparency. I've read many stories on this thread and on the forum. People often say that it's their parents' money, and they can do whatever want with it. Intellectually I agree with this. If my sibling needed medical care or something of that sort, that would completely make sense. If my parent's decided to give all their money away to charity, I would completely understand. However, if my parent's just chose to give a sibling all of the inheritance and me nothing or substantially less...I mean, I can't picture how it wouldn't make you feel a little hurt at least to begin with.

[partgypsy]

Thanks for your words and I do feel better today. I think everything has good and bad sides. The bad side, is this reminds me of all the times o was overlooked. The good side, I will have less guilt about feeling "responsible" for my sister in old age. Which is prob worth the price of admission. for the record i didn't do anything to anger her.  I feel like I'm a good daughter. I visit once a year on my dime, take my mom out. For birthdays and xmases have bought her things like new mattress, new down coat, whatever that she wants but doesn't feel comfortable spending on herself. i don't think it's personal.  It's more, my Mom likes to foster these unhealthy codependent relationships. When she was born she was initially very much doted on as assumed only child. But after a gap and two younger sons were born, she was demoted and expected to give up her goals and dreams to help raise her sibs. i think it messed her up,  so she almost has a binary in her brain where a child either gets all the help, or is expected to be helper and sacrifice themselves for the family.