Author Topic: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.  (Read 1088518 times)

iluvzbeach

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 673
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2800 on: October 18, 2021, 09:35:11 AM »
@DadJokes, sorry to hear your family is going through this as it does sound like a situation that is not going to end without quite a bit of drama. In regard to the life insurance policy and burial plot, I *think* but am not 100% certain that the “assignment” for the $950 cost can be placed on one person’s proceeds. I say this because my father recently passed away and there was a small life insurance policy on which my stepmom & I were beneficiaries. We have a close relationship with no drama, but the insurance company is dealing with us completely separately and we each have to submit our own claim forms & documentation, including anything related to assignment of proceeds to a funeral home. It would seem to me that, in the case you describe, SM would simply take responsibility for the assignment of funds against her portion of the proceeds. Of course, I recognize DQ may not be dealing with a reasonable SM and that has the potential to change everything.

Zamboni

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3207
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2801 on: October 18, 2021, 01:46:21 PM »
@DadJokes that certainly does sound like it's becoming messy.

Having recently been adjacent to similar petty-level drama, I'll ask this:
is DQ indigent? If not, then seriously: who cares about $475? I know, I know, it's the principle of the matter. But, everything you've written indicates to me that SM is in a heap of financial trouble. Does SM work outside the home?

Sounds like the lawyer has probably informed SM that, in the absence of a will, she is inheriting everything except beneficiary-designated assets. The tools have value and can be sold. Yes, it is shitty that she has gone out of her way to steal even tools that weren't his and that she is hoarding things (probably even sentimental things that might have no real value) from the rest of the family. She likely is freaking out and worried that she will need to sell everything that isn't nailed down to survive.

Don't be surprised if she puts the entire farm on the market shortly . . . in her eyes, this year's harvest might be fairly irrelevant at this point. She might even be hoping to sell it really fast before harvest is due, which makes the harvest someone else's problem while she is counting her cash from the sale.  Since it's October, I doubt any sale will happen that fast, but that might be where her brain is. Or maybe a lawyer has advised her she can apply for a govt farm subsidy if she doesn't harvest the crops? (yes, that is a thing people do in the USA.)

Again, sorry your wife got pulled into the mess. I suspect DQ is screwed and SM will prevail.

Written estate planning is especially important in 2nd and 3rd marriages unless you want your own biological kids to get nothing while your step son (who treats you like dirt and acts like a jackass at Thanksgiving) ultimately inherits all of your stuff and money when your second wife finally passes and gets buried in that plot right next to you.

DadJokes

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2091
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2802 on: October 18, 2021, 02:25:35 PM »
@DadJokes that certainly does sound like it's becoming messy.

Having recently been adjacent to similar petty-level drama, I'll ask this:
is DQ indigent? If not, then seriously: who cares about $475? I know, I know, it's the principle of the matter. But, everything you've written indicates to me that SM is in a heap of financial trouble. Does SM work outside the home?

Sounds like the lawyer has probably informed SM that, in the absence of a will, she is inheriting everything except beneficiary-designated assets. The tools have value and can be sold. Yes, it is shitty that she has gone out of her way to steal even tools that weren't his and that she is hoarding things (probably even sentimental things that might have no real value) from the rest of the family. She likely is freaking out and worried that she will need to sell everything that isn't nailed down to survive.

Don't be surprised if she puts the entire farm on the market shortly . . . in her eyes, this year's harvest might be fairly irrelevant at this point. She might even be hoping to sell it really fast before harvest is due, which makes the harvest someone else's problem while she is counting her cash from the sale.  Since it's October, I doubt any sale will happen that fast, but that might be where her brain is. Or maybe a lawyer has advised her she can apply for a govt farm subsidy if she doesn't harvest the crops? (yes, that is a thing people do in the USA.)

Again, sorry your wife got pulled into the mess. I suspect DQ is screwed and SM will prevail.

Written estate planning is especially important in 2nd and 3rd marriages unless you want your own biological kids to get nothing while your step son (who treats you like dirt and acts like a jackass at Thanksgiving) ultimately inherits all of your stuff and money when your second wife finally passes and gets buried in that plot right next to you.

I asked a lot of the same questions. I definitely don't think that $475 is that material to DQ. It's probably more the principle.

The farm bit is concerning though. I don't really know the actual ownership structure. Several members of the extended family have houses on the farm, including my wife's parents, Pop's mom, Pop's sister, and a couple others. While the houses are all owned outright, it'd still be a PITA for that not to be in family hands.

Edit: Pop's mom technically owns the farm, and it would have been passed down to Pop but will now be passed down to DQ. Pop owned all of the equipment, which SM now owns.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2021, 04:56:24 AM by DadJokes »

Finances_With_Purpose

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 993
    • Finances With Purpose: deploying resources wisely to live vigorously
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2803 on: October 20, 2021, 10:01:23 PM »
What a mess @DadJokes .  I'm sorry.  That's awful. 

Dee18

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1870
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2804 on: October 21, 2021, 06:35:01 AM »
"While the houses are all owned outright, it'd still be a PITA for that not to be in family hands."

I think one of the key complexities after a parent remarries is that the now-deceased spouse (Pop here) probably thought of the new spouse (SM) as family, but the extended family may not feel that way. 

LD_TAndK

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 70
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2805 on: October 29, 2021, 09:21:12 AM »
This isn't super dramatic but... my parents are frugal and well off, retired with very little chance of running out of money. They've told my sister and I several times they plan on leaving their money as an inheritance to us.

My low estimate of their invested assets is 2 Million dollars. I found out recently their current money manager is taking a 3% fee! So they're paying at least 60k annually to have their investments managed. It's particularly egregious considering their typical annual spending is only around 50k.

Thankfully my sister and I aren't depending on any money, but it's still outrageous!

JoePublic3.14

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 101
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2806 on: October 30, 2021, 08:31:11 AM »
This isn't super dramatic but... my parents are frugal and well off, retired with very little chance of running out of money. They've told my sister and I several times they plan on leaving their money as an inheritance to us.

My low estimate of their invested assets is 2 Million dollars. I found out recently their current money manager is taking a 3% fee! So they're paying at least 60k annually to have their investments managed. It's particularly egregious considering their typical annual spending is only around 50k.

Thankfully my sister and I aren't depending on any money, but it's still outrageous!

Ouch. When the time unfortunately comes to settle things, I would have some choice words for that crook.

So bad.

dandarc

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4753
  • Age: 39
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2807 on: October 30, 2021, 09:13:10 AM »
3% - seems maybe more likely than your standard financial advisor to be doing some kind of Fraud. High price can make it seem more legit - "you get what you pay for" and such.

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 16938
  • Age: 63
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2808 on: October 30, 2021, 10:08:58 AM »
3% - seems maybe more likely than your standard financial advisor to be doing some kind of Fraud. High price can make it seem more legit - "you get what you pay for" and such.
Not necessarily fraud, per se, Edward Jones, perhaps?

TomTX

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4624
  • Location: Texas
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2809 on: October 30, 2021, 11:04:09 AM »
3% - seems maybe more likely than your standard financial advisor to be doing some kind of Fraud. High price can make it seem more legit - "you get what you pay for" and such.
Not necessarily fraud, per se, Edward Jones, perhaps?

You're saying that in a Venn diagram of Fraud and Edward Jones that EJ isn't totally contained within the Fraud circle?

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 16938
  • Age: 63
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2810 on: October 30, 2021, 12:29:25 PM »
3% - seems maybe more likely than your standard financial advisor to be doing some kind of Fraud. High price can make it seem more legit - "you get what you pay for" and such.
Not necessarily fraud, per se, Edward Jones, perhaps?

You're saying that in a Venn diagram of Fraud and Edward Jones that EJ isn't totally contained within the Fraud circle?
In a Mustachian Venn Diagram of Fraud, of course it is!

RWTL

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 326
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2811 on: November 01, 2021, 04:08:28 AM »
This isn't super dramatic but... my parents are frugal and well off, retired with very little chance of running out of money. They've told my sister and I several times they plan on leaving their money as an inheritance to us.

My low estimate of their invested assets is 2 Million dollars. I found out recently their current money manager is taking a 3% fee! So they're paying at least 60k annually to have their investments managed. It's particularly egregious considering their typical annual spending is only around 50k.

Thankfully my sister and I aren't depending on any money, but it's still outrageous!

Unfortunately, I had a close family member pass away several months ago.  As the executor of the estate, I found he was in a similar situation - but with far less total amount.  Same type of deal, the company managing his assets were taking between 2-3% and had him invested in all kinds of crazy mutual funds with high fees, plus several individual stocks that I'm sure my relative had no clue what they were.   It took a while, but I got everything moved over to Vanguard and into low cost mutual funds.

I looked at the returns he was getting, and it only ended up being around 4% annually during this crazy bull market.

The ironic part is when I told the advisor I was moving everything he said "Good luck with that..." in reference to his thought that I couldn't do better than his performance.

Wolfpack Mustachian

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1253
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2812 on: November 01, 2021, 02:24:11 PM »
This isn't super dramatic but... my parents are frugal and well off, retired with very little chance of running out of money. They've told my sister and I several times they plan on leaving their money as an inheritance to us.

My low estimate of their invested assets is 2 Million dollars. I found out recently their current money manager is taking a 3% fee! So they're paying at least 60k annually to have their investments managed. It's particularly egregious considering their typical annual spending is only around 50k.

Thankfully my sister and I aren't depending on any money, but it's still outrageous!

Unfortunately, I had a close family member pass away several months ago.  As the executor of the estate, I found he was in a similar situation - but with far less total amount.  Same type of deal, the company managing his assets were taking between 2-3% and had him invested in all kinds of crazy mutual funds with high fees, plus several individual stocks that I'm sure my relative had no clue what they were.   It took a while, but I got everything moved over to Vanguard and into low cost mutual funds.

I looked at the returns he was getting, and it only ended up being around 4% annually during this crazy bull market.

The ironic part is when I told the advisor I was moving everything he said "Good luck with that..." in reference to his thought that I couldn't do better than his performance.

That kind of stuff makes me wonder. Was it just a sarcastic snide comment to hopefully make you feel bad or maybe reconsider,  or are these people ignorant enough they truly buy in on what they're selling?

dandarc

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4753
  • Age: 39
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2813 on: November 01, 2021, 02:31:53 PM »
I'd assume they get sales training and basically no actual training giving them a way to know whether the investment results are good, bad, or otherwise.

RWTL

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 326
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2814 on: November 01, 2021, 03:04:09 PM »
This isn't super dramatic but... my parents are frugal and well off, retired with very little chance of running out of money. They've told my sister and I several times they plan on leaving their money as an inheritance to us.

My low estimate of their invested assets is 2 Million dollars. I found out recently their current money manager is taking a 3% fee! So they're paying at least 60k annually to have their investments managed. It's particularly egregious considering their typical annual spending is only around 50k.

Thankfully my sister and I aren't depending on any money, but it's still outrageous!

Unfortunately, I had a close family member pass away several months ago.  As the executor of the estate, I found he was in a similar situation - but with far less total amount.  Same type of deal, the company managing his assets were taking between 2-3% and had him invested in all kinds of crazy mutual funds with high fees, plus several individual stocks that I'm sure my relative had no clue what they were.   It took a while, but I got everything moved over to Vanguard and into low cost mutual funds.

I looked at the returns he was getting, and it only ended up being around 4% annually during this crazy bull market.

The ironic part is when I told the advisor I was moving everything he said "Good luck with that..." in reference to his thought that I couldn't do better than his performance.

That kind of stuff makes me wonder. Was it just a sarcastic snide comment to hopefully make you feel bad or maybe reconsider,  or are these people ignorant enough they truly buy in on what they're selling?

Honestly, I think it was ignorance rather than sarcasm....I think he truly thought he helped my relative out.

AlanStache

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2300
  • Age: 42
  • Location: South East Virginia
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2815 on: November 01, 2021, 03:37:16 PM »
This isn't super dramatic but... my parents are frugal and well off, retired with very little chance of running out of money. They've told my sister and I several times they plan on leaving their money as an inheritance to us.

My low estimate of their invested assets is 2 Million dollars. I found out recently their current money manager is taking a 3% fee! So they're paying at least 60k annually to have their investments managed. It's particularly egregious considering their typical annual spending is only around 50k.

Thankfully my sister and I aren't depending on any money, but it's still outrageous!

Unfortunately, I had a close family member pass away several months ago.  As the executor of the estate, I found he was in a similar situation - but with far less total amount.  Same type of deal, the company managing his assets were taking between 2-3% and had him invested in all kinds of crazy mutual funds with high fees, plus several individual stocks that I'm sure my relative had no clue what they were.   It took a while, but I got everything moved over to Vanguard and into low cost mutual funds.

I looked at the returns he was getting, and it only ended up being around 4% annually during this crazy bull market.

The ironic part is when I told the advisor I was moving everything he said "Good luck with that..." in reference to his thought that I couldn't do better than his performance.

That kind of stuff makes me wonder. Was it just a sarcastic snide comment to hopefully make you feel bad or maybe reconsider,  or are these people ignorant enough they truly buy in on what they're selling?

Honestly, I think it was ignorance rather than sarcasm....I think he truly thought he helped my relative out.

If his head is 100% in an active trading world or where everything has a 3% fee, I can see where he would think that.  Not everyone is in IVV
Also there is the old saying "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it."

My grandpa had most of his stuff with Raymond James and after his passing some family inherited it and decided to leave it with them.  I mentioned the fees to them but did not push to hard as I figured them not touching it was probably better than them trying to do something without really knowing what they are doing or selling it all at the first down turn and never rebuying.  An imperfect plan today is better than a prefect one tomorrow.

Wolfpack Mustachian

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1253
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2816 on: November 01, 2021, 04:04:37 PM »
This isn't super dramatic but... my parents are frugal and well off, retired with very little chance of running out of money. They've told my sister and I several times they plan on leaving their money as an inheritance to us.

My low estimate of their invested assets is 2 Million dollars. I found out recently their current money manager is taking a 3% fee! So they're paying at least 60k annually to have their investments managed. It's particularly egregious considering their typical annual spending is only around 50k.

Thankfully my sister and I aren't depending on any money, but it's still outrageous!

Unfortunately, I had a close family member pass away several months ago.  As the executor of the estate, I found he was in a similar situation - but with far less total amount.  Same type of deal, the company managing his assets were taking between 2-3% and had him invested in all kinds of crazy mutual funds with high fees, plus several individual stocks that I'm sure my relative had no clue what they were.   It took a while, but I got everything moved over to Vanguard and into low cost mutual funds.

I looked at the returns he was getting, and it only ended up being around 4% annually during this crazy bull market.

The ironic part is when I told the advisor I was moving everything he said "Good luck with that..." in reference to his thought that I couldn't do better than his performance.

That kind of stuff makes me wonder. Was it just a sarcastic snide comment to hopefully make you feel bad or maybe reconsider,  or are these people ignorant enough they truly buy in on what they're selling?

Honestly, I think it was ignorance rather than sarcasm....I think he truly thought he helped my relative out.

If his head is 100% in an active trading world or where everything has a 3% fee, I can see where he would think that.  Not everyone is in IVV
Also there is the old saying "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it."

My grandpa had most of his stuff with Raymond James and after his passing some family inherited it and decided to leave it with them.  I mentioned the fees to them but did not push to hard as I figured them not touching it was probably better than them trying to do something without really knowing what they are doing or selling it all at the first down turn and never rebuying.  An imperfect plan today is better than a prefect one tomorrow.

I ran into that with someone I was talking with who was "saving" money with a whole life insurance plan. Basically he admitted to me if he didn't have it going in there and auto pulled out of his account,  it would be spent. Since it was already going there and under the guise of life insurance which his SO could get behind,  it could stay and wouldn't get spent... so,  I dropped it sadly.