Author Topic: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.  (Read 1238842 times)

Zamboni

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2800 on: January 18, 2022, 06:11:53 PM »
Go to https://eapps.naic.org/life-policy-locator/#/welcome to help you find out what company has the policy so he can collect his money and not have to deal with his sister at all.  That's the National Association of Insurance Commissioners.

Thank you for this!

iris lily

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2801 on: January 21, 2022, 08:28:19 AM »
Our family farm saga continues.

There was a knock on our door a couple weeks ago, it was a process server. We’re being sued in a partition suit. Oh, joy.

When this is over I can reveal more details, suffice to say that I am in an awkward position because my name is listed as a defendant. Yet, I  agree with the plaintive. So I have to spend money to defend in court a sentiment I don’t have.

My only salve Is that I have told DH any money defending this thing comes from his own IRA. Our joint monies will not pay for an attorney. Not happening dude.
« Last Edit: January 21, 2022, 12:22:45 PM by iris lily »

SwordGuy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2802 on: January 21, 2022, 09:44:42 AM »
Our family farm saga continues.

There was a knock on our door a couple weeks ago, it was a process server. We’re being sued in a partition suit. Oh, joy.

When this is over I can reveal more details, suffice to say that I am in an awkward position because my name is listed as a defendant. Yet, I  agree with the plaintive. So I get to spend my own money to defend in court a sentiment I don’t have.

My only salve Is that I have told DH any money defending this thing comes from his own IRA. Our joint monies will not pay for an attorney. Not happening dude.
We have a family-owned farm as well.   My mom, aunt and uncle each owned 1/3rd of a farm and my mom and uncle owned 1/2 of another farm.   It was all on a handshake deal.  Mom and uncle have passed away and we're in the process of getting an agreement in writing before the number of people involved balloons up.  Just read the 3rd draft of the agreement this week and it's looking good.   Should have the final version in a few weeks and we'll get everything signed.

Still no guarantee that everyone will behave, but at least there will be a legal framework in place to attempt to deal with things.

One of the things that I insisted on was that while I agree we want it to be a family-owned farm and don't want to be in business partners with a soulless corporation, I didn't want the definition of family to be at the whim of a red state legislature.   So the agreement recognizes same sex marriages regardless of whether that specific state does, and recognizes common law marriages as well.  It also recognizes step children, including step children of a previous marriage, and it also includes foster children as eligible candidates.   (Now, the deceased will need to make provisions for some of those folks in their will as we aren't upsetting the normal rules any given state might have for intestate inheritances, but it does mean we'll accept and acknowledge their wishes if they do.)   We have some family friends who have adopted a bunch of kids and foster gobs more and I had people like them in mind.   Plus, adoption can take FOREVER and these are uncertain times. 

Captain FIRE

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2803 on: January 21, 2022, 10:05:53 AM »
Our family farm saga continues.

There was a knock on our door a couple weeks ago, it was a process server. We’re being sued in a partition suit. Oh, joy.

When this is over I can reveal more details, suffice to say that I am in an awkward position because my name is listed as a defendant. Yet, I  agree with the plaintive. So I get to spend my own money to defend in court a sentiment I don’t have.

My only salve Is that I have told DH any money defending this thing comes from his own IRA. Our joint monies will not pay for an attorney. Not happening dude.

What does DH think?  I mean, you don't *have to* defend if he doesn't want to.

talltexan

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2804 on: January 21, 2022, 10:40:35 AM »
Based on the lawsuits I've defended, I generally wish I'd made more generous settlement offers earlier.

Chris Pascale

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2805 on: January 21, 2022, 11:00:39 AM »
Based on the lawsuits I've defended, I generally wish I'd made more generous settlement offers earlier.

Would love to learn more about this.

iris lily

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2806 on: January 21, 2022, 12:18:43 PM »
Our family farm saga continues.

There was a knock on our door a couple weeks ago, it was a process server. We’re being sued in a partition suit. Oh, joy.

When this is over I can reveal more details, suffice to say that I am in an awkward position because my name is listed as a defendant. Yet, I  agree with the plaintive. So I get to spend my own money to defend in court a sentiment I don’t have.

My only salve Is that I have told DH any money defending this thing comes from his own IRA. Our joint monies will not pay for an attorney. Not happening dude.

What does DH think?  I mean, you don't *have to* defend if he doesn't want to.
He wants to, that is why we are in this situation to begin with.

Edited my first post to make it slightly more clear. This is DH’s problem, not mine, but unfortunately my name is on the lawsuit.
« Last Edit: January 21, 2022, 02:02:37 PM by iris lily »

talltexan

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2807 on: January 21, 2022, 02:26:39 PM »
Based on the lawsuits I've defended, I generally wish I'd made more generous settlement offers earlier.

Would love to learn more about this.

Sold a property when we moved from Ohio to NC. Buyers later claimed we misrepresented the condition of the property (they had hired an inspector, etc.). We ultimately settled for about half of their initial "demand", but there were more than $10,000 in legal fees on top of that because we had let the process drag on well into discovery.

It was just writing checks for us, but we allowed emotions, etc., to ruin seventeen months of our lives.
 

Chris Pascale

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2808 on: January 21, 2022, 09:29:43 PM »
Based on the lawsuits I've defended, I generally wish I'd made more generous settlement offers earlier.

Would love to learn more about this.

Sold a property when we moved from Ohio to NC. Buyers later claimed we misrepresented the condition of the property (they had hired an inspector, etc.). We ultimately settled for about half of their initial "demand", but there were more than $10,000 in legal fees on top of that because we had let the process drag on well into discovery.

It was just writing checks for us, but we allowed emotions, etc., to ruin seventeen months of our lives.

Very sorry to hear this. My parents sold their home before the 2008 crash. The buyers wanted the full purchase price from (A) them, (B) the inspector, and (C) the RE company that listed it. They claimed the home was completely unlivable. We'd been there 17 years, and they are still there now.

What really happened was that they were buying/selling every other year and got caught in the bubble.

I think my folks spent $20,000 defending themselves. My dad died before it was over, and these people wanted to make sure he was really dead, and not just tricking them to get the suit settled up, so they checked to make sure. Later, my mom got something like $2500 in damages from them. I think it was the limit on counter-suing; the idea is that you don't want someone not to be able to sue a giant corporation for fear of having to reimburse them for a zillion dollars, and that lawyers won't take frivolous cases, judges won't permit the cases to go to court, etc.

Zamboni

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2809 on: January 22, 2022, 06:53:44 AM »
One of the things that I insisted on was that while I agree we want it to be a family-owned farm and don't want to be in business partners with a soulless corporation, I didn't want the definition of family to be at the whim of a red state legislature.   So the agreement recognizes same sex marriages regardless of whether that specific state does, and recognizes common law marriages as well.  It also recognizes step children, including step children of a previous marriage, and it also includes foster children as eligible candidates.   (Now, the deceased will need to make provisions for some of those folks in their will as we aren't upsetting the normal rules any given state might have for intestate inheritances, but it does mean we'll accept and acknowledge their wishes if they do.)   We have some family friends who have adopted a bunch of kids and foster gobs more and I had people like them in mind.   Plus, adoption can take FOREVER and these are uncertain times.

You're the best! My brother has adopted children. Even though it is a dozen years since the first adoption and he lives only a couple of miles from my Mom, so she sees them regularly, unfortunately she still can't seem to fully embrace them as her grandchildren in a way that is equivalent to her biological grandchildren. It makes me see RED every time she says something that makes me remember that. I don't want to go into very specific details, but her "blood relative" comments to me have gotten really old, and it is getting worse now that she is losing her brain cells and becoming fixated on what's going to happen to her stuff when she dies.


Quote
What really happened was that they were buying/selling every other year and got caught in the bubble.

I think my folks spent $20,000 defending themselves.

What a nightmare scenario. Too many flaky buyers in the real estate market.


Thanks again, @DeniseNJ, for the link to the NAIC link! Mr. Zamboni has started that process.

We figured out that what DotLWaT! meant when she wrote to him with:

"You have to send me a photocopy of your ID and social security number so I can claim this life insurance for the estate because only the first person listed can submit a claim, and you are listed first"

really probably meant

"You are the primary beneficiary, but I would like to take that money for myself instead."

In that same communication, she also demanded that he write her a check for a portion of the money if he claimed it himself instead. LOLOL.

If he does get anything from this mysterious policy, he is going to split it evenly between the deceased's grandchildren for their college funds. That will be a nice surprise for his nephews, and it will probably be all they ever see from the estate given DotLWaT's machinations.
He laughed at @Sibley 's comment about donating it to an animal shelter . . . I told him the best use of the funds would be hookers and blow, but he has this idea that college funds would honor the deceased better.

SwordGuy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2810 on: January 22, 2022, 07:25:09 AM »
One of the things that I insisted on was that while I agree we want it to be a family-owned farm and don't want to be in business partners with a soulless corporation, I didn't want the definition of family to be at the whim of a red state legislature.   So the agreement recognizes same sex marriages regardless of whether that specific state does, and recognizes common law marriages as well.  It also recognizes step children, including step children of a previous marriage, and it also includes foster children as eligible candidates.   (Now, the deceased will need to make provisions for some of those folks in their will as we aren't upsetting the normal rules any given state might have for intestate inheritances, but it does mean we'll accept and acknowledge their wishes if they do.)   We have some family friends who have adopted a bunch of kids and foster gobs more and I had people like them in mind.   Plus, adoption can take FOREVER and these are uncertain times.

You're the best! My brother has adopted children. Even though it is a dozen years since the first adoption and he lives only a couple of miles from my Mom, so she sees them regularly, unfortunately she still can't seem to fully embrace them as her grandchildren in a way that is equivalent to her biological grandchildren. It makes me see RED every time she says something that makes me remember that. I don't want to go into very specific details, but her "blood relative" comments to me have gotten really old, and it is getting worse now that she is losing her brain cells and becoming fixated on what's going to happen to her stuff when she dies.

Thanks!  It's a sensitive subject for me too.  I have 2 step kids that I consider mine.   To her dying day my mom didn't think that I had any children.   Mom wanted me to keep the farm in the family and THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I INSISTED ON THOSE CHANGES.   It's just that her definition of FAMILY and mine are different.   I believe I have the right one.   She may be spinning in her grave and that's on her.

Sibley

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2811 on: January 22, 2022, 11:16:48 AM »
....

We figured out that what DotLWaT! meant when she wrote to him with:

"You have to send me a photocopy of your ID and social security number so I can claim this life insurance for the estate because only the first person listed can submit a claim, and you are listed first"

really probably meant

"You are the primary beneficiary, but I would like to take that money for myself instead."

In that same communication, she also demanded that he write her a check for a portion of the money if he claimed it himself instead. LOLOL.

If he does get anything from this mysterious policy, he is going to split it evenly between the deceased's grandchildren for their college funds. That will be a nice surprise for his nephews, and it will probably be all they ever see from the estate given DotLWaT's machinations.
He laughed at @Sibley 's comment about donating it to an animal shelter . . . I told him the best use of the funds would be hookers and blow, but he has this idea that college funds would honor the deceased better.

I mean, she could TRY, but in my experience with life insurance companies (on the company side), there's a good chance she'd get the fraud department involved, which may well get the FBI or other law enforcement involved. Insurance companies are not going to knowingly go along with fraud just because some crackpot got greedy.

And college funds are a good idea. I like animals more than I like people though, so totally going with the animal shelter.

DeniseNJ

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2812 on: January 24, 2022, 07:46:25 AM »
Quote
Thanks again, @DeniseNJ, for the link to the NAIC link! Mr. Zamboni has started that process.
You're very welcome.  :)

AMandM

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2813 on: January 24, 2022, 08:38:14 AM »
I mean, she could TRY, but in my experience with life insurance companies (on the company side), there's a good chance she'd get the fraud department involved, which may well get the FBI or other law enforcement involved. Insurance companies are not going to knowingly go along with fraud just because some crackpot got greedy.


Part of me (admittedly not the best part) kind of hopes this happens so DotLWaT gets her comeuppance.

talltexan

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2814 on: January 24, 2022, 08:40:48 AM »
Sometimes the way the legal system works is that it becomes one person's responsibility to pay enough to lawyers to deliver the "comeuppance" that one particular entitled person deserves, and--when I was in such a position (you can reread my narrative above)--it just didn't make enough financial sense for me to keep writing checks to deliver the comeuppance to that person on behalf of society.

It's basically a public goods problem.

merula

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2815 on: January 24, 2022, 12:05:08 PM »
I mean, she could TRY, but in my experience with life insurance companies (on the company side), there's a good chance she'd get the fraud department involved, which may well get the FBI or other law enforcement involved. Insurance companies are not going to knowingly go along with fraud just because some crackpot got greedy.

And college funds are a good idea. I like animals more than I like people though, so totally going with the animal shelter.

Seconding, even though I'm on the opposite side of the insurance industry. Seems likely given the regulations insurance operates under that if they pay someone other than who they were supposed to pay, they might end up paying twice. And that leads to all kinds of internal paperwork no one at the insurance company wants to deal with.

Zamboni

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2816 on: January 24, 2022, 04:15:37 PM »
Part of the reason he doesn't want DotLWaT to have his information is that she is shifty (obviously) and has stolen things from him before. It was one of the first things  he told me about her many years ago. So the history there is not good, unsurprisingly.

So, yeah, once they told her she couldn't claim this insurance policy for the estate, and that he was the primary beneficiary, she moved straight into full fledged fraud territory. But I'm with talltexan: not gonna waste any money on her. She is digging out an infested hoarded house with absolutely no help from anyone else in the family as her penance for her bad behavior. People tried to offer help, or to pay junk crews to help (even with simple instructions like "gather up all of the clothes") but she was so hell bent on getting "everything" for herself that she refused all help quite nastily. The contents of the home are certainly a net loss if one counts the time it takes to dig through it, and the smell in there was quite intense. I'm sure she'll find plenty of little crap to hock for petty cash, though, so good for her?

SwordGuy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2817 on: January 24, 2022, 04:47:32 PM »
The police don't charge you to investigate insurance fraud and the public prosecutor doesn't charge you to prosecute either.

JoePublic3.14

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2818 on: January 24, 2022, 06:38:49 PM »
The police don't charge you to investigate insurance fraud and the public prosecutor doesn't charge you to prosecute either.

And the next potential victim(s) say thanks for not tolerating criminal behavior. Next time she may defraud someone who really needs the money. But if she is stopped here and now…

So easy to type that of course, but if she already stole years ago it seems incredibly likely it has happened many times since, and undoubtedly will happen in the future.

SwordGuy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2819 on: January 24, 2022, 08:11:20 PM »
The police don't charge you to investigate insurance fraud and the public prosecutor doesn't charge you to prosecute either.

And the next potential victim(s) say thanks for not tolerating criminal behavior. Next time she may defraud someone who really needs the money. But if she is stopped here and now…

So easy to type that of course, but if she already stole years ago it seems incredibly likely it has happened many times since, and undoubtedly will happen in the future.

Well said.   I agree completely!   Someone who lacks even the honor to avoid stealing from family will not care about the impact of their actions on others.

Zamboni

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2820 on: January 25, 2022, 02:58:25 AM »
I appreciate y'all's sense of justice, I really do. But our legal system is just not very well set up to put an end to the behavior of low-level thieves and grifters. I grew up in a very low income neighborhood watching friends and neighbors who engaged in a wide variety of petty property crime and fraud, so I am certain about this.

Sure, maybe the police or DA would investigate "for free," but it would still involve our time and probably cause us more emotional distress. And it would give DotLWaT ammo for her victim narrative to extended family: "I'm getting stuck doing everything and no one is helping me and now they are being greedy and uncooperative and accusatory when I'm just trying to do my job" etc.

Sometimes, when someone shows you who they really are, your best move is just to get far away from them.

It sounds like this is one of those small policies that people forget they even have anyway. If she tried to nick a giant policy, then it would make more sense to pursue justice, but she'd just claim ignorance and go into victim mode. Even then, I still think our legal system wouldn't do anything to her that would change her ways.

RWTL

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2821 on: January 25, 2022, 04:08:56 AM »

Sometimes, when someone shows you who they really are, your best move is just to get far away from them.



It's good to have FU money so you have options. 

saguaro

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2822 on: January 25, 2022, 01:24:59 PM »
I appreciate y'all's sense of justice, I really do. But our legal system is just not very well set up to put an end to the behavior of low-level thieves and grifters. I grew up in a very low income neighborhood watching friends and neighbors who engaged in a wide variety of petty property crime and fraud, so I am certain about this.

Sure, maybe the police or DA would investigate "for free," but it would still involve our time and probably cause us more emotional distress. And it would give DotLWaT ammo for her victim narrative to extended family: "I'm getting stuck doing everything and no one is helping me and now they are being greedy and uncooperative and accusatory when I'm just trying to do my job" etc.

Sometimes, when someone shows you who they really are, your best move is just to get far away from them.

It sounds like this is one of those small policies that people forget they even have anyway. If she tried to nick a giant policy, then it would make more sense to pursue justice, but she'd just claim ignorance and go into victim mode. Even then, I still think our legal system wouldn't do anything to her that would change her ways.

@Zamboni sorry you have to deal with this.   Unfortunately there's no good options when there's an executor hell bent on doing hinky things. 

In summary, my youngest sister and I had to hire an attorney to get our other sister, who was executor on my dad's estate, to finally settle things, namely get her to finally sell our parents' house.  It had been 2 years, she was dragging her feet costing money and she had not given us a single accounting on expenditures (which was required by law) plus it turned out she had taken some um, liberties, when it came to those.

In hiring the attorney, my goal was strictly to get her to move on the house which was 95% of the estate.  She appointed me, likely under pressure from her own attorney, as special trustee to handle the sale instead, the house sold immediately. There was still the question of what she had done with regard to expenditures but to me the likely amounts were just not worth going after.  My youngest sister wanted to continue that but I opted out at that point.  Youngest sister quit after a final conversation with the attorney telling her the same, what was left was not worth continuing.   We did force an accounting out of executor sister in which we discovered what she did with some of the money, not to mention the costs associated with an empty house sitting around for 2 years and it confirmed that she had spent money for things not related to the estate.

I didn't like having to spend money on getting what basically should have been done without any cost to me, but I weighed the money spent vs. gain (with the house sale) plus the chances of being successful.   Had the estate been less or if my sister was the sort who was going to fight to the bitter end, then I would have just walked.   It was expensive enough just to get the house sold quickly and that was with me doing the work. Shortly after Dad died, executor sister asked to have have our father's car and having some of our mother's jewelry stating that our nephews would like their grandmother's jewelry and they could use the car.   Youngest sister and I agreed but honestly, knowing what we know now, we would have not allowed it.  But at the time, we trusted that executor sister would do the right thing.  Even at the end there were things that have gone completely unaccounted for, such as items (china/silver) that executor sister said she would sell and split the proceeds but nothing. 

So yeah, even when you decide to spend money to push things even the attorneys will tell you it may not be worth it...in terms of money, effort, stress.  It certainly played into executor sister's victim narrative to the extended family.   In our case, there was enough money bound up in the house sale to be worth it from a cost perspective, we approached this strategically meaning not going after everything (I had to talk youngest sister off the ledge on this one), focus on the house sale during a good housing market (it sold just before Covid hit) and, well, knowing your enemy.

« Last Edit: January 25, 2022, 02:49:23 PM by saguaro »

scottish

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2823 on: January 25, 2022, 07:21:09 PM »
That's an unpleasant story.   I hope we won't have to deal with anything like that when my MIL passes away.     I'm glad you and your sister were able to put it behind you - letting these things fester is just a big waste of time.

What was involved in hiring a lawyer for such a case?

Sibley

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2824 on: January 25, 2022, 07:47:22 PM »
Well, just found out that there is some nasty inheritance stuff going on in the extended family. I don't know details and probably never will, but the nasty 2nd wife who certainly didn't stop her husband from abandoning his young daughters (not sure if she encouraged it, but she didn't do anything to stop it) is now hoarding his estate. His daughters are not surprised, but it would have been nice if the situation was different. None of them are wealthy by any means. And by young daughters, the girls were all between 5 and 10 years old.

I do know they're at least consulting a lawyer, but who knows if anything will come of it. I hope my deceased cousin is rotting in hell.

Zamboni

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2825 on: January 26, 2022, 06:26:11 AM »
^Oh, @Sibley, that's a sad story! Sounds like he didn't have life insurance?

Yeah, dying during a second or third marriage without a will (or without a will that your children explicitly know about and can locate) is basically deciding that you don't care whether or not your children from your first marriage get anything from your estate. Many states hand the entire estate to the surviving current spouse.

Challenge
Okay, Mustachians, if you have young children and don't have life insurance already, Please read onward:

I challenge you to go get some separate term life insurance THIS WEEK for each parent. Unless you are older or infirm, it shouldn't cost that much per month that it is unrealistic, and you owe it to your kids in case you get hit by a bus next week. This is important regardless of your marital status. Please don't assume that the other parent can just take care of them . . . sometimes people die in a common catastrophe, or one parent dies very shortly after the other in unrelated circumstances.

The only rational exception would be if you are sitting on a huge pile of easily liquified assets that have your children listed as primary beneficiaries, but you still need a will and named trustees. The less money a parent has, the more important it is to have some life insurance, in my opinion.

Your kids are going to need some resources for their health, education, welfare, and maintenance if you die. This is especially true if the accident that kills you also leaves one or more of your kids permanently disabled. Trust me on this: my brother has adopted several children who were left in extremely dire straits when both of their parents died. Don't do that to you own kids, because there are not very many people in the world like my brother. Be a responsible parent! If you have the resources to access the internet and read this, then you have the resources to get some term life insurance. If the children are little you can go with a 20 year term, but if they are teenagers already, then it might make more sense to get a 10 year term. No excuses!
« Last Edit: January 26, 2022, 07:20:37 AM by Zamboni »

Zamboni

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2826 on: January 26, 2022, 07:30:24 AM »
@saguaro Thank you for sharing your story. Sorry you had to deal with an inept and dishonest family member not taking care of things properly!

You inspired me to look up the rules here: in my state the executor is supposed to provide the court with a full listing of assets (bank accounts, property, etc) within 90 days of being appointed. That window has probably passed. We did look and see that the home is now listed as being owned by the heirs of the deceased, so at least some progress is being made.

Then the executor is supposed to provide a full accounting to the court showing that the estate matters are settled within one year from appointment. If they are unable to do that within the first year, then they can petition for an additional year for settlement, but they still have to provide an annual accounting showing where things stand at a year and another final accounting after the second year.

So sorry your sister's accounting had to be pulled out like a rotten tooth. And that the extent of the rot put your youngest sister out onto a ledge. Good job talking her off the ledge!

« Last Edit: January 26, 2022, 07:34:23 AM by Zamboni »

Sibley

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2827 on: January 26, 2022, 07:56:45 AM »
Oh, I wasn't clear! The girls are all full adults and married now, and the guy died last year. I'm going back decades in time is all.

AMandM

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2828 on: January 26, 2022, 08:08:23 AM »
Zamboni, sorry if you already explained this, but I thought DotLWaT was merely the self-appointed executor, whom the family is allowing to act to save themselves the stress that would ensue from objecting. Or did that  extend to DotLWaT getting a formal legal appointment?

Will those rules be enforced, or are the courts too busy under Covid to go after her?

merula

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2829 on: January 26, 2022, 10:26:58 AM »
Challenge
Okay, Mustachians, if you have young children and don't have life insurance already, Please read onward:

I challenge you to go get some separate term life insurance THIS WEEK for each parent.

This is an excellent idea. There's SS survivor benefits in the US, and certain other insurance might pay out for specific reasons for death, but term life insurance will always be there.

I used Policy Genius to find my policy based on my risk factors and have been very happy with my 15 year term policy from TransAmerica. My premium is $98/year for the first 15 years (which will last until my kids are 19 and 17, which will also hopefully be after I've FIREd), and I can renew it without a new medical exam after that if needed, but the premiums go up quite a bit. (So if something happens that I want to keep term life insurance, I can shop around but I'll at least have the option of keeping this one.)

I will say, though, that I did NOT buy separate term life insurance for my husband. I'm the sole earner, and his medical history made insuring him very expensive. My company does offer spousal life insurance as an optional benefit for ~$50/year, so I have that, but I am accepting the risk that if I were to become unable to work, and he died before we figured out another option, we wouldn't have life insurance benefits.


saguaro

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2831 on: January 26, 2022, 10:55:30 AM »
That's an unpleasant story.   I hope we won't have to deal with anything like that when my MIL passes away.     I'm glad you and your sister were able to put it behind you - letting these things fester is just a big waste of time.

What was involved in hiring a lawyer for such a case?

My youngest sister (henceforth YS for brevity) had contacts from her previous banking job who recommended several attorneys.   YS lives in another state, executor sister (ES) and I live in same area as deceased parents.  After discussion over a period of months while ES found reasons to keep on dithering (despite my assistance in cleaning out the house and trying to talk her out of all kinds of reasons to keep on dithering) we contacted one attorney.   In going over the estate information, the big thing he asked us was what we wanted to accomplish.  In this case it was getting ES to move on the house.   Possibility of petitioning for ES' removal as executor due to mismanagement was also discussed but that would take time and delay the house sale, thereby incurring more costs both to the estate and legal.   Upon review of the will/trust, he found one way to speed things up: there was a provision allowing the primary trustee (ES) to empower a special trustee to handle specific duties.  In this case, it would mean ES appointing me to handle the house sale, so that is what attorney recommended in his letter to ES' attorney.  To our surprise, ES appointed me, perhaps out of spite, but as time goes on I highly suspect ES' attorney pressured her into it.   Reasons were that our attorney pointed out that ES had not provided the required annual accounting to the beneficiaries that was not only laid in the will/trust, he referenced the state statute that also required it.   

ES continued as the executor/primary trustee, paying bills such as utilities.  I was empowered to list the house, cover any costs associated with selling like maintenance/repairs, negotiate price, handle all listing and closing documents so it was very specific (or as my attorney called "surgical") because one of my concerns was, not knowing what ES was doing, I did not want to be responsible for any of her mismanagement.   From the day that ES appointed me to the day I closed on the house sale was all of two months, because I got a buyer 3 days after listing. 

It really came down to deciding what specifically we wanted to accomplish, that we had only so much money and time so finding an attorney who would do that. Attorney also had a good penchant for reminding YS not to be too driven in letting emotions / family resentments rule the day and go off in unproductive/expensive directions such as going after bank accounts.  But he really did earn his fee when it came to our attention 24 hours before closing that ES had not set up a proper estate account and continued paying bills using Dad's checking account with her name on it.   So we had to avoid the sale proceeds going into that account because legally it would be hers.   So he had a talk with ES' attorney advising him of that and to arrange for proceeds to be disbursed directly avoiding deposit into the bank account.

ETA: Regarding the covering of costs for selling, any costs were to be charged to the estate but according to attorney if ES refused to pay, then it could be reimbursed via the sale closing document.   Luckily I had none other than spending $20 for ice melter.

saguaro

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2832 on: January 26, 2022, 11:44:51 AM »
@saguaro Thank you for sharing your story. Sorry you had to deal with an inept and dishonest family member not taking care of things properly!

You inspired me to look up the rules here: in my state the executor is supposed to provide the court with a full listing of assets (bank accounts, property, etc) within 90 days of being appointed. That window has probably passed. We did look and see that the home is now listed as being owned by the heirs of the deceased, so at least some progress is being made.

Then the executor is supposed to provide a full accounting to the court showing that the estate matters are settled within one year from appointment. If they are unable to do that within the first year, then they can petition for an additional year for settlement, but they still have to provide an annual accounting showing where things stand at a year and another final accounting after the second year.

So sorry your sister's accounting had to be pulled out like a rotten tooth. And that the extent of the rot put your youngest sister out onto a ledge. Good job talking her off the ledge!

@Zamboni, thanks.   Glad to see that my post inspired you to check some things out!

Since there was a will/trust with a named executor there was no court involvement (other than initially filing the will) but there were some times I wished that the estate was overseen by the court because that would have made ES more accountable.  I remember when my MIL had to petition and be appointed by the court as executor to her parents' estate who died intestate.   Everything had to be run through the court and when MIL went to close the estate, the judge wanted to see everything, he had questions and MIL had to provide more information before he would sign off.

But as mentioned in my above post, the annual accounting that ES was supposed to provide was not just specified in the will/trust, it was governed by state statute so ES had blown through that requirement twice by the time we got the attorney.  It was pointed out in the letter to her own attorney that she had done this.   After that initial letter, ES provided an "accounting" that was simply a spreadsheet quickly pulled together to which her own attorney made a disclaimer that he had "not vetted" the expenses.  We insisted on actual bank statements which finally followed a couple of months later.  It was then YS and I confirmed there were expenses made not related to the estate, some questionable such as repairs made to our dad's car done after ES had taken official possession of it.  And the veterinary expenses for my mother's cat that ES adopted.

Regarding talking YS off the ledge, she and ES had other issues going on between them, so one thing I made clear to YS was this was about the estate and not her need to go to war. 
« Last Edit: January 26, 2022, 12:29:36 PM by saguaro »

Zamboni

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2833 on: January 26, 2022, 06:47:57 PM »
Zamboni, sorry if you already explained this, but I thought DotLWaT was merely the self-appointed executor, whom the family is allowing to act to save themselves the stress that would ensue from objecting. Or did that  extend to DotLWaT getting a formal legal appointment?

Will those rules be enforced, or are the courts too busy under Covid to go after her?

Honestly no one has any idea if she is officially legally appointed by the courts or not. She was not the executor in the "very old" will copy that surfaced later, but that person didn't want the responsibility. That will also left everything to the ex-husband of the deceased, and he is alive and well.

I'm going to guess she did go to the court to be appointed legally so that she had the papers she needed to get at the deceased's bank accounts, and so that she could block the ex-husband, whom she hates, from getting anything. The odds that she never opened a proper estate bank account are extremely high.

scottish

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2834 on: January 26, 2022, 08:06:14 PM »
That's an unpleasant story.   I hope we won't have to deal with anything like that when my MIL passes away.     I'm glad you and your sister were able to put it behind you - letting these things fester is just a big waste of time.

What was involved in hiring a lawyer for such a case?

My youngest sister (henceforth YS for brevity) had contacts from her previous banking job who recommended several attorneys.   YS lives in another state, executor sister (ES) and I live in same area as deceased parents.  After discussion over a period of months while ES found reasons to keep on dithering (despite my assistance in cleaning out the house and trying to talk her out of all kinds of reasons to keep on dithering) we contacted one attorney.   In going over the estate information, the big thing he asked us was what we wanted to accomplish.  In this case it was getting ES to move on the house.   Possibility of petitioning for ES' removal as executor due to mismanagement was also discussed but that would take time and delay the house sale, thereby incurring more costs both to the estate and legal.   Upon review of the will/trust, he found one way to speed things up: there was a provision allowing the primary trustee (ES) to empower a special trustee to handle specific duties.  In this case, it would mean ES appointing me to handle the house sale, so that is what attorney recommended in his letter to ES' attorney.  To our surprise, ES appointed me, perhaps out of spite, but as time goes on I highly suspect ES' attorney pressured her into it.   Reasons were that our attorney pointed out that ES had not provided the required annual accounting to the beneficiaries that was not only laid in the will/trust, he referenced the state statute that also required it.   

ES continued as the executor/primary trustee, paying bills such as utilities.  I was empowered to list the house, cover any costs associated with selling like maintenance/repairs, negotiate price, handle all listing and closing documents so it was very specific (or as my attorney called "surgical") because one of my concerns was, not knowing what ES was doing, I did not want to be responsible for any of her mismanagement.   From the day that ES appointed me to the day I closed on the house sale was all of two months, because I got a buyer 3 days after listing. 

It really came down to deciding what specifically we wanted to accomplish, that we had only so much money and time so finding an attorney who would do that. Attorney also had a good penchant for reminding YS not to be too driven in letting emotions / family resentments rule the day and go off in unproductive/expensive directions such as going after bank accounts.  But he really did earn his fee when it came to our attention 24 hours before closing that ES had not set up a proper estate account and continued paying bills using Dad's checking account with her name on it.   So we had to avoid the sale proceeds going into that account because legally it would be hers.   So he had a talk with ES' attorney advising him of that and to arrange for proceeds to be disbursed directly avoiding deposit into the bank account.

ETA: Regarding the covering of costs for selling, any costs were to be charged to the estate but according to attorney if ES refused to pay, then it could be reimbursed via the sale closing document.   Luckily I had none other than spending $20 for ice melter.

Wow nicely done.   You were able to focus the attorney on the one important item and get it done without winding up in court.    I'm learning that it's important to find an attorney who communicates very clearly.

saguaro

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2835 on: January 27, 2022, 10:22:42 AM »
Wow nicely done.   You were able to focus the attorney on the one important item and get it done without winding up in court.    I'm learning that it's important to find an attorney who communicates very clearly.

Thank you, @scottish  I appreciate that.   I was very reluctant at first to go the attorney route as I knew that even a simple petition to the court for executor removal would drag things out and the issue at hand was that things were already being dragged out and costing us.  The house had sat empty for 2 years, we were on the verge of it sitting empty through a 3rd Chicago winter because even though the house was nearly ready for sale, ES told me she wanted to wait AGAIN because she was convinced that "houses don't sell in the winter".   At this point the property insurance on the house had doubled and property taxes went up because the county senior citizen homestead exemption no longer applied.   So taking this to court would be counterproductive.

Now I didn't especially want the job of special trustee but I stepped up because it had to be done.  Since YS and I had taken the action to force the sale, it was only right that one of us accept the job.  YS offered to do it but I said since I was the one who was local that I should handle it.  Luckily YS works at a title company and helped me out as this was the first time I ever sold a house.

Honestly it was one of the hardest things I have ever done and I am not proud of it, even if it was necessary.   As I learned in the course of selling the house, that it was even more necessary because ES had to disclose financial information to me so I could complete the house sale.   Not setting up a proper estate account was just one of the things she did not do, in spite of all her talk of "having a fiduciary duty" throughout this whole thing.   She repeated it all the time yet clearly she didn't do it.    Btw, she has a degree in finance and works in the finance department of a major corporation.

I'm going to guess she did go to the court to be appointed legally so that she had the papers she needed to get at the deceased's bank accounts, and so that she could block the ex-husband, whom she hates, from getting anything. The odds that she never opened a proper estate bank account are extremely high.

@Zamboni, something I learned from our attorney (when it was discovered that ES did not open a proper estate account) is that it is a common thing because a lot of people don't realize they have to do it, they think they can continue with existing accounts even if they are honest (this was not our attorney's opinion on ES btw).  It also takes time.   However, given that ES had an attorney through all this, it seems likely he would have advised her of doing this.   One option presented to me when discussing how to bypass the checking account for house sale proceeds was to have the title company hold the proceeds while ES set up a proper estate account, then deposit and disburse from there.   But that was going to take over a week. 

One option presented to me when discussing how to bypass the checking account for house sale proceeds was to have the title company hold the proceeds while ES set up a proper estate account, then deposit and disburse from there.   But that was going to take over a week. 

ETA:  I will bring up another thing that ES failed to do, something that should have been done from the beginning and not 2 years later which was getting a tax ID from the IRS for the estate.  She didn't get around to that until we had our attorney engaged and then when she messed up on the trust name for the estate, called and told me to request another ID since I was "special trustee".   I had to remind that taxes was not something she empowered me to do.  Incidentally there were a number of times when she called, or rather commanded me to do something that was outside the scope of the special trustee duties listed on the document that she herself had signed. 
« Last Edit: January 27, 2022, 11:10:28 AM by saguaro »

Zamboni

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2836 on: January 30, 2022, 08:47:03 AM »
Incidentally there were a number of times when she called, or rather commanded me to do something that was outside the scope of the special trustee duties listed on the document that she herself had signed.

That sounds familiar. The commanding part is getting old in the little saga of the Zambonis. Mr. Zamboni complied with the first couple of commands in an attempt to avoid family drama, but she got so nasty when he asked a couple of reasonable questions and offered his help that he has decided to no longer comply.

Victory! Mr. Zamboni used information from the kind and knowledgable posters in this thread to figure out what he needed to do to find and claim the life insurance. He is indeed the primary beneficiary and his younger sister is listed as secondary beneficiary.

DotLWaT is not a beneficiary at all . . .  yet she has now twice sent demands about sending a copy of his social security card to let her claim it "for the estate" or that he must send her money if he claims it. Her radio silence when he asked for the policy details and then her follow up command a week later that he just send her his private information pushed him into motion to figure it out.

And you know what's hilarious? He has now successfully filed a claim for the life insurance policy payout, and the agent on the phone told him the check should arrive at our address within a couple of weeks, but he has absolutely no idea what the amount is! He didn't even think to ask the phone rep about that, probably because we don't need money. DotLWaT said it was a small amount in her initial demand email, but she's not exactly a reliable source of information. His plan to split it among the deceased's grandchildren for their schooling funds stands.

Meanwhile, a letter with a probate case number from the court listing him as an heir recently came to his work address. So presumably DotLWaT has opened the probate case in order to get access to the bank accounts, which she was very eager to do as her first action after the death. But the address the letter got mailed to is really odd. Did she falsely claim to not know the contact information or addresses of the heirs?  *Eyeroll* Why else would such a letter go to his work address rather than a home address? My guess is that the Clerk of the Court looked up the tax records and just used his W2 employer address as the most reliable. He never has anything else mailed to his office, ever, and DotLWaT does know where he lives, but whatever.

Mr. Zamboni continues to worry about DotLWaT's machinations. But, I think these last couple of developments have put his mind somewhat at ease. The court oversight might put some actual boundaries on her behavior. The courts have seen her act before, I've assured him. In fact, the way she operates outside of the normal rules is likely 90% of the reason that probate court is required even for estates with wills.
« Last Edit: January 30, 2022, 11:02:07 AM by Zamboni »

sonofsven

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2837 on: January 30, 2022, 09:36:27 AM »
Thanks for all these latest posts. An elderly friend alerted  me recently that I am the named executor, or personal representative, to his estate.
He originally set up  his will so I could assist his surviving spouse in selling all of his tools, boats, and vehicles upon his passing as I have a good understanding of their value, and experience in selling such items.
Unfortunately his wife died first and he has no communication with his adult daughter and step son due to long and ugly family  disfunction, so even though she and he will be the beneficiaries of the estate neither will talk to him, at all.
He is concerned they will not respect his wishes regarding the placement of his ashes in a place that is dear to him, as well, and he knows I will.
I have no experience as an executor so this thread has been a good wake up call that I need to educate myself to avoid some of these problems. One thing I don't want is his angry daughter and her family accusing me of any improper behavior.
One thing we've discussed is him pre-signing all of his vehicle and bost titles and storing them with me. He won't have many bills because he is so credit averse: power, water, phone, garbage, car insurance are probably his only bills. With a paid off house he doesn't even have homeowners insurance (!). I know with some family situations the son/daughter is added to the parents checking  account but I don't know if that's necessary, or a good idea in this case?

Any advice is appreciated.

DaMa

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2838 on: January 30, 2022, 09:55:14 AM »
All bank and investment accounts can have beneficiaries.  I think that is better than sharing an account with someone you may not trust 100%.

In Michigan, you can transfer title on cars without going through probate.  You can also have a "ladybird" deed on your home that transfers title to the named person(s) upon your death without going through probate. 

Zamboni

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2839 on: January 30, 2022, 11:15:40 AM »
^^You are a good friend.

Probably the best thing to do, when the time comes, is start with the wishes in the will. You'll need to obtain and file a death certificate with the county clerk of probate court. He or she can help you with the needed forms and procedures. Our local county has a pretty good step-by-step guide for executors with actions to take and timelines. The clerk can also likely recommend local lawyers who will handle the estate accounts and paperwork for the state allocated rate, if that is a thing where you live and something you want to do. It sounds like it isn't really all that hard to take care of things, though, but it's not something you can do in a single day because there are loose ends for months.

I have also gone the route of asking a good friend to be executor. She grew up in a funeral home and knows both the ropes and the family drama that go along with cleaning up affairs after a death. It's a bit of a burden, for sure, so I'm putting one of my 4-5 figure beneficiary-directed investment accounts to her.

It's not that unusual for people to leave assets to charities or people outside of their family. I know someone who inherited two beautiful Jaguars (the car, not the cat) from two different friends! My guess is that he just sincerely admired those cars more than anyone else, and the deceased were fairly wealthy and figured their families were getting plenty already, so why not help out a very poor and very lovable ski bum friend? Anyway, he alternates driving his red Jag and his green Jag.

AMandM

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2840 on: January 30, 2022, 11:23:44 AM »
IANAL but my guess is that pre-signing titles will not work. A dead person cannot sell property, so you as executor could not use those titles to transfer ownership to a buyer. Perhaps your friend should specify in his will that you are to sell {list of assets} and distribute the proceeds to the heirs, unless the heirs might want to boats etc. themselves.

Villanelle

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2841 on: January 30, 2022, 02:22:37 PM »
Thanks for all these latest posts. An elderly friend alerted  me recently that I am the named executor, or personal representative, to his estate.
He originally set up  his will so I could assist his surviving spouse in selling all of his tools, boats, and vehicles upon his passing as I have a good understanding of their value, and experience in selling such items.
Unfortunately his wife died first and he has no communication with his adult daughter and step son due to long and ugly family  disfunction, so even though she and he will be the beneficiaries of the estate neither will talk to him, at all.
He is concerned they will not respect his wishes regarding the placement of his ashes in a place that is dear to him, as well, and he knows I will.
I have no experience as an executor so this thread has been a good wake up call that I need to educate myself to avoid some of these problems. One thing I don't want is his angry daughter and her family accusing me of any improper behavior.
One thing we've discussed is him pre-signing all of his vehicle and bost titles and storing them with me. He won't have many bills because he is so credit averse: power, water, phone, garbage, car insurance are probably his only bills. With a paid off house he doesn't even have homeowners insurance (!). I know with some family situations the son/daughter is added to the parents checking  account but I don't know if that's necessary, or a good idea in this case?

Any advice is appreciated.

This sounds like a mess waiting to happen.  Pre-signing the deeds doesn't sound legal for being able to sell, and even if it is, it certainly can look shady and if the kids are upset, they will be looking for anything not above board, or appearing not to be above board .

First, I would tell him I'm happy to be his executor, but only if he tells his kids in advance, so there are no surprises.  I know you said he doesn't speak with is daughter and step-son (so I question why he is leaving his estate to them, but that's his business), but this would be a non-negotiable on my part. If they are the beneficiaries and I, a friend, am the executor, I want everyone to know that in advance.  Second, I would have him ask the attorney who writes up the will and everything else about the best way to handle the cars and boats. 

He should also add them as beneficiaries, meaning they get it when he is dead but can't access it before then, on anything that he can, as that makes it a bit easier for everyone. 

sonofsven

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2842 on: January 31, 2022, 08:32:31 AM »
Thanks for the responses, all good points.
I'll have a discussion with him today, and I'll stop by our county office to see what resources they have.
Good to have a plan for the inevitable.

AMandM

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2843 on: January 31, 2022, 02:54:00 PM »
Zamboni, maybe DotLWaT told the court there were no heirs, but they searched the public records and found Mr. Zamboni?

Zamboni

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2844 on: January 31, 2022, 05:20:38 PM »
It wouldn't be hard at all to find the names of her children in the obituary, which is online.

The state actually makes it pretty hard to claim money that isn't yours. Even if a utility company owes you $5.12 from a refund issued after you moved that ends up in the state's unclaimed coffers. There's gonna be some forms and ID checks and other bureaucratic hoops to jump through to prove that you and you and that you are actually the person who lived at that address who is owed $5.12.

JetBlast

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2845 on: February 04, 2022, 11:16:54 PM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?

trashtalk

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2846 on: February 05, 2022, 09:53:28 AM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
Yeah there’s a fancy legal word for this inheritance setup but I can’t remember what it is.

I know someone who was planning to skip his kids and have the grandkids be his heirs. One kid had produced one grandkid and another kid had produced four grandkids. The “unfair” distribution went over like a lead balloon with first kid, even thought it wouldn’t have gone to them in any case. I believe after years of whining by first kid the dad reverted to having the kids being the heirs.

Taran Wanderer

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2847 on: February 05, 2022, 10:08:50 AM »
When DM remarried, she informed DB and me that she and DSF would split their (meager) assets equally between DB and me (50%) and DSF’s 3 kids (50%). After they were married several years, they figured it had been long enough and changed up the Will so everyone gets 20%. Seems fair. Unless it goes to grandkids… the kids have 4, 3, 3, 3, and 1 grandkids, and there are great grandchildren now, too. Somebody somewhere will always find something unfair. Better to worry about supporting your own darn self and let those who are giving do what they’re going to do.

MissNancyPryor

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2848 on: February 05, 2022, 10:16:27 AM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
Yeah there’s a fancy legal word for this inheritance setup but I can’t remember what it is.

I know someone who was planning to skip his kids and have the grandkids be his heirs. One kid had produced one grandkid and another kid had produced four grandkids. The “unfair” distribution went over like a lead balloon with first kid, even thought it wouldn’t have gone to them in any case. I believe after years of whining by first kid the dad reverted to having the kids being the heirs.

I think this is "per stirpes" and it often gets the grand kids all wound up about something being unfair.  As if.  People really get twisted about what they think is their right to other peoples' stuff, as @Zamboni reminds us with that recent drama.     

The scene in "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World" where the groups try to decide how to divide up the yet unfound loot is a good example of per stirpes.  Is it by CAR or is it by PERSON?  Does the RELATIONSHIP in the car matter? 

RUN FOR THE MONEY was their solution.

Sibley

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2849 on: February 05, 2022, 11:55:13 AM »
How about impending inheritance drama?

Ex-DWs father is worth as of a couple years ago ~$14 million. She’s the only child of his second wife (since divorced). Ex-FIL has three children with his first wife. His plan when he passes is to split his estate 50/50 between the two ex-wives, with the understanding that when they pass it goes to the children. So…..my ex gets what’s left of $7 million and her three step brothers get to divide what’s left of the other half by three.

What could possibly go wrong with that plan?
Yeah there’s a fancy legal word for this inheritance setup but I can’t remember what it is.

I know someone who was planning to skip his kids and have the grandkids be his heirs. One kid had produced one grandkid and another kid had produced four grandkids. The “unfair” distribution went over like a lead balloon with first kid, even thought it wouldn’t have gone to them in any case. I believe after years of whining by first kid the dad reverted to having the kids being the heirs.

I think this is "per stirpes" and it often gets the grand kids all wound up about something being unfair.  As if.  People really get twisted about what they think is their right to other peoples' stuff, as @Zamboni reminds us with that recent drama.     

The scene in "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World" where the groups try to decide how to divide up the yet unfound loot is a good example of per stirpes.  Is it by CAR or is it by PERSON?  Does the RELATIONSHIP in the car matter? 

RUN FOR THE MONEY was their solution.

That is a hilarious movie though.

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!