Author Topic: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.  (Read 1445951 times)

AMandM

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3300 on: December 10, 2023, 10:45:56 AM »
I don't intend to engage further with my mom about this.  My aunt is very level headed and the person I have gone to for serious discussions.  I wasn't about to involve her originally, but seeing how my mom doesn't understand what's going on, I thought it's worth having a conversation.  My aunt can decide whether she wants to bring any of this up with my mom.

That sounds like a wise course of action on your part (both not engaging with your mother and giving your aunt a heads-up).

Sibley

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3301 on: December 10, 2023, 12:24:13 PM »
There is a thing where it doesn't matter how knowledgeable you are, you are still her child and thus you know nothing. It happens with my parents, and its incredibly annoying. Your aunt might be the best option if that's the situation.

Dancin'Dog

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3302 on: December 10, 2023, 01:33:34 PM »
Itís often difficult to tell whether someone is clueless or lying, or clueless and lying. 

Apples

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3303 on: December 10, 2023, 05:45:40 PM »
I agree with the others.  In addition, your other next best option might be telling your mom about something your friend is going through.  Note that this story is fictional and you can base it on what you're worried about.  "Friend has a sibling acting as executor of their parents' estate, and they have so much control over xyz and are doing a terrible job!  I'm so worried for her, she seems so sad that her parents' estate is going like this.  And I remembered what you said about the lawyer doing things, but it doesn't seem to be the case nowadays - bad sibling has all control, and she would have to start a lawsuit if she wants to change it!  Can you believe it?!  But Friend doesn't want to start a lawsuit with bad sibling!  It's all such a mess."  Ymmv on if this is a viable strategy.  I can use it with my mother, but my dad sees right through it lol.  However, my mom continually sees me as an irresponsible 14 year old who doesn't like to clean her room, so I can't possibly know anything. 

uniwelder

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3304 on: December 10, 2023, 06:34:04 PM »
I agree with the others.  In addition, your other next best option might be telling your mom about something your friend is going through.  Note that this story is fictional and you can base it on what you're worried about.

This would never work.  Maybe if one of her friends described a story like this, she would pay attention, but I'm much too blunt and honest.  Also, even in a regular conversation, with actual events, I don't think my mom listens to or believes anything I say if it goes against her preconceived views.

NorthernIkigai

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3305 on: December 11, 2023, 02:08:50 AM »
A relative of mine hosted a bunch of family for thanksgiving, and is now >||< this close to cutting off a couple of teenage relatives due to their behavior towards her kids. We're talking bullying and sexual harassment to the point the kid hid for most of the day.

What the actual fuck?

AMandM

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3306 on: December 11, 2023, 08:47:35 AM »
A relative of mine hosted a bunch of family for thanksgiving, and is now >||< this close to cutting off a couple of teenage relatives due to their behavior towards her kids. We're talking bullying and sexual harassment to the point the kid hid for most of the day.

What the actual fuck?

I hope she kicked those teenage relatives out of her house before dinner was served. Along with any other relatives who objected to the bullies being kicked out.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3307 on: December 11, 2023, 03:57:43 PM »
A relative of mine hosted a bunch of family for thanksgiving, and is now >||< this close to cutting off a couple of teenage relatives due to their behavior towards her kids. We're talking bullying and sexual harassment to the point the kid hid for most of the day.

What the actual fuck?

I hope she kicked those teenage relatives out of her house before dinner was served. Along with any other relatives who objected to the bullies being kicked out.

If she knew about it at the time. Most likely she found out about it after the fact. Bullies are *very* good at noticing when possible protectors are otherwise occupied. Sending younger kids away "to play together" while the food preparation and cleanup are underway is very common.

Fi(re) on the Farm

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3308 on: December 11, 2023, 04:53:21 PM »
A relative of mine hosted a bunch of family for thanksgiving, and is now >||< this close to cutting off a couple of teenage relatives due to their behavior towards her kids. We're talking bullying and sexual harassment to the point the kid hid for most of the day.

What the actual fuck?
My cousin was a mentally unstable predator. After dinner on every holiday my other cousins, my sisters and myself all had to hang out together with him. We stayed as far away as possible and never let him near any of our children. Parents see what they want to see.

I hope she kicked those teenage relatives out of her house before dinner was served. Along with any other relatives who objected to the bullies being kicked out.

If she knew about it at the time. Most likely she found out about it after the fact. Bullies are *very* good at noticing when possible protectors are otherwise occupied. Sending younger kids away "to play together" while the food preparation and cleanup are underway is very common.

SwordGuy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3309 on: January 03, 2024, 05:16:20 PM »
My mother-in-law passed away in the fall.   She had 4 children, 2 boys and 2 girls, one of whom is my wife.

We all dreaded whether the batshit-cray-cray narcissistic other sister was going to show up for the funeral and pull the drama-queen stunts she did for her father's funeral.
So much so that her 3 siblings seriously debated not telling her about the funeral until after it was over.   These are nice people but they've been pushed and pushed into that solid a dislike of their sister over the last 50+ years.

In the end, they told her and, probably not having any money to make the trip, she chose not to come.  I'm sure one of them would have paid for her to come if she had asked even vaguely nicely.  Can't say they were sad about her absence.

So, we've long expected the sister would be a total horse's ass about the will and the distribution of assets.   The first part of the assets were under accounts that had account beneficiaries with set percentages.  So the companies just do it, period, with no one really getting much (if any) of a say otherwise.

There's just one investment account remaining that has not yet been distributed.  Apparently, it's going by the will, not set beneficiaries.  It's supposed to be divided equally into 4 parts.   Should be easy, right?

Well, I would like to say the sister has behaved admirably, but it would be more accurate to state she has performed as expected. 

This is my 3rd hand understanding of what's going on. 

The sister, we'll call her "Judy", is refusing to sign the papers that would cause these funds to be disbursed.  First, she explained she had converted to become a Jew and wouldn't sign any papers her rabbi didn't approve of.   Now she's saying that she was "dad's favourite" and because of that, she should get 100% of this money.  I've suggested we explain to her she might or might not have been "dad's favourite", but dad gave all his money to her mother, his wife, and not her.  And clearly, whether or not she was "mom's favourite," mom chose to divide the money equally.

Now, personally, I think that Judaism gets a bad rap by all the bigots out there, so let's be clear the religion we're really discussing is Judyism. 

And, to be fair, it's important to know that, as far as we could tell, she used to be a member of some religion of the month club.   She would latch onto some religious skeaze who said things she liked and loudly "join" that religion, i.e., spout its BS until she found someone else's BS she liked better.  My personal fave was a preacher out in California who preached that if you did something and you felt good about it, that was God's way of telling you it was the right thing to do.   Boy, howdy, did "Judy" latch onto that doctrine.  Jeffrey Daumer, that serial murderer who killed, dismembered and ate 17 young men (that we know of) could follow that doctrine and like it.  But I digress.

Anyway, the funny thing is that of the 4 siblings, she is the only one who's not financially well off.  Two of the siblings could hand this money - estimated at $150,000 - to the nearest wino stumbling by and it wouldn't affect their finances one whit.  (My wife is one of them.)   The other would **wants** the money but doesn't **need** the money.  She, on the other hand, does need it, unless she's found a sugar daddy.

Now, I don't know, but I guess that she's already blown thru the sizeable chunk of money that's already been disbursed.  Time will tell on that.  I would be surprised if she hadn't.

At some point, the executor of the will will get tired of pissing around with her and point out a few obvious points.   1st, the executor gets paid for their time and trouble, and the more trouble she makes, the more they'll end up getting paid.   Since the executor is one of the brother's wives, she'll just be transferring more of her share to one of her brothers with her antics.   And since they were planning on doing the work without getting paid, as a courtesy to their siblings, it will come with a nice price tag.   They can then keep that fee for themselves (the rest of us are JUST FINE with that, or if "Judy" really pisses them off, they'll divide it into 3 parts and divvy it up between "Judy's" two brothers and sister.  And take "Judy" to court over it, the judge will divide the assets according to the will, and "Judy" will pay EVERYONE'S legal expenses.  Since one of the brothers is a lawyer, he could accept that money (the two reasonable siblings are JUST FINE by that) or he can divvy it up into three parts and give everyone but "Judy" their portion.   In other words, THANKS FOR BEING AN ASS THIS TIME, because it's the first time she's ever been an ASS in a way that's benefitted her other family members!

But hey, some people just have to learn the hard way.

It remains to be seen whether she is one of them.

Blackeagle

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3310 on: January 03, 2024, 05:38:54 PM »
But hey, some people just have to learn the hard way.

Some people learn the easy way.  Some people learn the hard way.  Some people donít learn at all.

Sorry your wife and her two reasonable siblings have to go through this.

iluvzbeach

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3311 on: January 03, 2024, 07:23:56 PM »
@SwordGuy, you are one hell of a storyteller. ďJudyismĒ as her religion literally had me laughing out loud! It sounds like ďJudyísĒ siblings have dealt with her shenanigans long enough to actually get a bit of enjoyment out of coming up with a plan to one-up her on what will undoubtedly be their last interactions with her. Good riddance to her!

Catbert

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3312 on: January 04, 2024, 12:59:41 PM »
It's fortunate that no one else really needs the money so that they can play hardball with Judy.  This is a real fuck around and find out situation.

Judyism is right up there with George Santos' jew-ish.


AdrianC

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3313 on: January 23, 2024, 04:22:45 AM »
Here's a UK law concept I just came across: "proprietary estoppel"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proprietary_estoppel

"Proprietary estoppel is a legal claim, especially connected to English land law, which may arise in relation to rights to use the property of the owner, and may even be effective in connection with disputed transfers of ownership. Proprietary estoppel transfers rights if

- someone is given a clear assurance that they will acquire a right over property,
- they reasonably rely on the assurance,
- they act substantially to their detriment on the strength of the assurance, and
- it would be unconscionable to go back on the assurance.

If these elements of assurance, reliance and detriment, and unconscionability are present, the usual remedy will be that the property will be transferred to the claimant, if the court views the reliance to warrant a claim in all the circumstances."

Example would be a farmer promises his son "all this will be yours" and son works for starvation wages for decades on that promise. Farmer dies with no will, farm has to be shared amongst the son and siblings. Son may have a claim using "proprietary estoppel".

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3314 on: January 23, 2024, 09:34:10 AM »
Here's a UK law concept I just came across: "proprietary estoppel"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proprietary_estoppel

"Proprietary estoppel is a legal claim, especially connected to English land law, which may arise in relation to rights to use the property of the owner, and may even be effective in connection with disputed transfers of ownership. Proprietary estoppel transfers rights if

- someone is given a clear assurance that they will acquire a right over property,
- they reasonably rely on the assurance,
- they act substantially to their detriment on the strength of the assurance, and
- it would be unconscionable to go back on the assurance.

If these elements of assurance, reliance and detriment, and unconscionability are present, the usual remedy will be that the property will be transferred to the claimant, if the court views the reliance to warrant a claim in all the circumstances."

Example would be a farmer promises his son "all this will be yours" and son works for starvation wages for decades on that promise. Farmer dies with no will, farm has to be shared amongst the son and siblings. Son may have a claim using "proprietary estoppel".

Another example: one of the adult children remains at home with Mom or Dad as they age, providing yard and house care and then caregiving to people whose health and sanity are declining. This adult child foregoes education and career, putting his or her sole effort into caregiving and freeing up all the other adult siblings to have their own lives and to find marriage partners, etc. In exchange the parent(s) promise to leave the adult child the house. Then the last parent dies intestate or writes a will that divides the property evenly among all the siblings.

eyesonthehorizon

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3315 on: January 27, 2024, 10:25:59 AM »
Here's a UK law concept I just came across: "proprietary estoppel"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proprietary_estoppel

"Proprietary estoppel is a legal claim, especially connected to English land law, which may arise in relation to rights to use the property of the owner, and may even be effective in connection with disputed transfers of ownership. Proprietary estoppel transfers rights if

- someone is given a clear assurance that they will acquire a right over property,
- they reasonably rely on the assurance,
- they act substantially to their detriment on the strength of the assurance, and
- it would be unconscionable to go back on the assurance.

If these elements of assurance, reliance and detriment, and unconscionability are present, the usual remedy will be that the property will be transferred to the claimant, if the court views the reliance to warrant a claim in all the circumstances."

Example would be a farmer promises his son "all this will be yours" and son works for starvation wages for decades on that promise. Farmer dies with no will, farm has to be shared amongst the son and siblings. Son may have a claim using "proprietary estoppel".

Another example: one of the adult children remains at home with Mom or Dad as they age, providing yard and house care and then caregiving to people whose health and sanity are declining. This adult child foregoes education and career, putting his or her sole effort into caregiving and freeing up all the other adult siblings to have their own lives and to find marriage partners, etc. In exchange the parent(s) promise to leave the adult child the house. Then the last parent dies intestate or writes a will that divides the property evenly among all the siblings.
@AdrianC or others - Is there any US equivalent law or precedent to this? I know of a case where rather than being divided among the family, such a property is being claimed by a different relative entirely. Due to being a sole caretaker, forgoing education & career for so long they have no information or any funds to begin to pursue legal defense.

Captain FIRE

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3316 on: January 27, 2024, 01:11:17 PM »
So yes, US* law has promissory estoppel but it's not really a favored doctrine by judges/courts, because the perspective is that people could have contracted but choose not to. So I was taught (many years ago, so this is hazy) that they tend to only find it in egregious cases. It also can be hard to prove a promise. In other words...don't rely on it, this is your last ditch hail mary pass instead.

*Louisiana is influenced by Napoleonic Code. No idea if they have it.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3317 on: January 29, 2024, 10:26:24 AM »
Here's a UK law concept I just came across: "proprietary estoppel"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proprietary_estoppel

"Proprietary estoppel is a legal claim, especially connected to English land law, which may arise in relation to rights to use the property of the owner, and may even be effective in connection with disputed transfers of ownership. Proprietary estoppel transfers rights if

- someone is given a clear assurance that they will acquire a right over property,
- they reasonably rely on the assurance,
- they act substantially to their detriment on the strength of the assurance, and
- it would be unconscionable to go back on the assurance.

If these elements of assurance, reliance and detriment, and unconscionability are present, the usual remedy will be that the property will be transferred to the claimant, if the court views the reliance to warrant a claim in all the circumstances."

Example would be a farmer promises his son "all this will be yours" and son works for starvation wages for decades on that promise. Farmer dies with no will, farm has to be shared amongst the son and siblings. Son may have a claim using "proprietary estoppel".

Another example: one of the adult children remains at home with Mom or Dad as they age, providing yard and house care and then caregiving to people whose health and sanity are declining. This adult child foregoes education and career, putting his or her sole effort into caregiving and freeing up all the other adult siblings to have their own lives and to find marriage partners, etc. In exchange the parent(s) promise to leave the adult child the house. Then the last parent dies intestate or writes a will that divides the property evenly among all the siblings.
@AdrianC or others - Is there any US equivalent law or precedent to this? I know of a case where rather than being divided among the family, such a property is being claimed by a different relative entirely. Due to being a sole caretaker, forgoing education & career for so long they have no information or any funds to begin to pursue legal defense.

In Acoma things are done this way, however disputes tend to be enforced by tribal government.

AdrianC

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3318 on: January 30, 2024, 05:47:33 AM »
@AdrianC or others - Is there any US equivalent law or precedent to this? I know of a case where rather than being divided among the family, such a property is being claimed by a different relative entirely. Due to being a sole caretaker, forgoing education & career for so long they have no information or any funds to begin to pursue legal defense.
What Captain Fire wrote is the extent of my US knowledge.

My own case is in the UK and is somewhat similar to the "all this will be yours" scenario, with my younger brother being the son that stayed at home, me being the prodigal child.
We have an agreement in our case, just need the lawyer to actually do their job so we can finally get it done. 13 months and counting.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3319 on: January 30, 2024, 11:03:25 AM »
@AdrianC or others - Is there any US equivalent law or precedent to this? I know of a case where rather than being divided among the family, such a property is being claimed by a different relative entirely. Due to being a sole caretaker, forgoing education & career for so long they have no information or any funds to begin to pursue legal defense.
What Captain Fire wrote is the extent of my US knowledge.

My own case is in the UK and is somewhat similar to the "all this will be yours" scenario, with my younger brother being the son that stayed at home, me being the prodigal child.
We have an agreement in our case, just need the lawyer to actually do their job so we can finally get it done. 13 months and counting.

Jarndyce 2.0? I'm so sorry.

AdrianC

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3320 on: January 31, 2024, 07:07:30 AM »
Jarndyce 2.0? I'm so sorry.
Thanks for that. Had to look it up and I learned something.

We're not there...but I do wonder what the lawyer fees will be in the end. There is no litigation, just normal, everyday probate work. Why it should take so long is a mystery to me.

SwordGuy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3321 on: February 07, 2024, 05:06:03 PM »
My mother-in-law passed away in the fall.   She had 4 children, 2 boys and 2 girls, one of whom is my wife.

We all dreaded whether the batshit-cray-cray narcissistic other sister was going to show up for the funeral and pull the drama-queen stunts she did for her father's funeral.
So much so that her 3 siblings seriously debated not telling her about the funeral until after it was over.   These are nice people but they've been pushed and pushed into that solid a dislike of their sister over the last 50+ years.

In the end, they told her and, probably not having any money to make the trip, she chose not to come.  I'm sure one of them would have paid for her to come if she had asked even vaguely nicely.  Can't say they were sad about her absence.

So, we've long expected the sister would be a total horse's ass about the will and the distribution of assets.   The first part of the assets were under accounts that had account beneficiaries with set percentages.  So the companies just do it, period, with no one really getting much (if any) of a say otherwise.

There's just one investment account remaining that has not yet been distributed.  Apparently, it's going by the will, not set beneficiaries.  It's supposed to be divided equally into 4 parts.   Should be easy, right?

Well, I would like to say the sister has behaved admirably, but it would be more accurate to state she has performed as expected. 

This is my 3rd hand understanding of what's going on. 

The sister, we'll call her "Judy", is refusing to sign the papers that would cause these funds to be disbursed.  First, she explained she had converted to become a Jew and wouldn't sign any papers her rabbi didn't approve of.   Now she's saying that she was "dad's favourite" and because of that, she should get 100% of this money.  I've suggested we explain to her she might or might not have been "dad's favourite", but dad gave all his money to her mother, his wife, and not her.  And clearly, whether or not she was "mom's favourite," mom chose to divide the money equally.

Now, personally, I think that Judaism gets a bad rap by all the bigots out there, so let's be clear the religion we're really discussing is Judyism. 

And, to be fair, it's important to know that, as far as we could tell, she used to be a member of some religion of the month club.   She would latch onto some religious skeaze who said things she liked and loudly "join" that religion, i.e., spout its BS until she found someone else's BS she liked better.  My personal fave was a preacher out in California who preached that if you did something and you felt good about it, that was God's way of telling you it was the right thing to do.   Boy, howdy, did "Judy" latch onto that doctrine.  Jeffrey Daumer, that serial murderer who killed, dismembered and ate 17 young men (that we know of) could follow that doctrine and like it.  But I digress.

Anyway, the funny thing is that of the 4 siblings, she is the only one who's not financially well off.  Two of the siblings could hand this money - estimated at $150,000 - to the nearest wino stumbling by and it wouldn't affect their finances one whit.  (My wife is one of them.)   The other would **wants** the money but doesn't **need** the money.  She, on the other hand, does need it, unless she's found a sugar daddy.

Now, I don't know, but I guess that she's already blown thru the sizeable chunk of money that's already been disbursed.  Time will tell on that.  I would be surprised if she hadn't.

At some point, the executor of the will will get tired of pissing around with her and point out a few obvious points.   1st, the executor gets paid for their time and trouble, and the more trouble she makes, the more they'll end up getting paid.   Since the executor is one of the brother's wives, she'll just be transferring more of her share to one of her brothers with her antics.   And since they were planning on doing the work without getting paid, as a courtesy to their siblings, it will come with a nice price tag.   They can then keep that fee for themselves (the rest of us are JUST FINE with that, or if "Judy" really pisses them off, they'll divide it into 3 parts and divvy it up between "Judy's" two brothers and sister.  And take "Judy" to court over it, the judge will divide the assets according to the will, and "Judy" will pay EVERYONE'S legal expenses.  Since one of the brothers is a lawyer, he could accept that money (the two reasonable siblings are JUST FINE by that) or he can divvy it up into three parts and give everyone but "Judy" their portion.   In other words, THANKS FOR BEING AN ASS THIS TIME, because it's the first time she's ever been an ASS in a way that's benefitted her other family members!

But hey, some people just have to learn the hard way.

It remains to be seen whether she is one of them.

So, apparently whomever my SIL is trusting to give her advice has convinced her that signing the papers
and splitting everything equally in 4 parts is her best option.

My money is on said advisor being a religious leader who has their eye on a to-be-promptly-received sizeable donation.  It would be par for the course.

Of course, we'll probably never know 'cause my wife wants nothing to do with her.

AMandM

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3322 on: February 07, 2024, 07:10:09 PM »
So, apparently whomever my SIL is trusting to give her advice has convinced her that signing the papers
and splitting everything equally in 4 parts is her best option.

My money is on said advisor being a religious leader who has their eye on a to-be-promptly-received sizeable donation.  It would be par for the course.

Of course, we'll probably never know 'cause my wife wants nothing to do with her.

To the first sentence: Yay!

To the second sentence: Meh. If Judy's going to blow through the money anyway with nothing to show for it, maybe some of it will go to do good if it gets donated?

To the third sentence: My sympathy to your wife, on this situation and on the deaths of her parents.

SwordGuy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3323 on: February 07, 2024, 07:18:02 PM »
So, apparently whomever my SIL is trusting to give her advice has convinced her that signing the papers
and splitting everything equally in 4 parts is her best option.

My money is on said advisor being a religious leader who has their eye on a to-be-promptly-received sizeable donation.  It would be par for the course.

Of course, we'll probably never know 'cause my wife wants nothing to do with her.

To the first sentence: Yay!
You bet!   Less hassle and more money.  I don't wish my SIL ill, I just wish she would either turn into a person worth knowing by her siblings or never deal with her again.
To the second sentence: Meh. If Judy's going to blow through the money anyway with nothing to show for it, maybe some of it will go to do good if it gets donated?
Not likely.  My favorite of the preachers she tried to get the family to support was out west.  The catch phrase for this sect was on the lines of "If it feels good to you, that's God's way of telling you it's the right thing to do."

Pretty sure Jeffrey Daumer and Adolf Hitler could be happy following that creed.

Regardless, one day said preacher stood up in front of their flock and said, "For years I've been telling you to do what feels right to you.  Well, what would feel right to me is to take all the money and move to Hawaii."   So they did.   
To the third sentence: My sympathy to your wife, on this situation and on the deaths of her parents.
Thanks.

AMandM

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3324 on: February 08, 2024, 08:48:22 AM »
I should have figured that a selfish person with bad judgment would pick charlatans as her religious guides.

Dave1442397

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3325 on: February 09, 2024, 05:45:48 AM »
Regardless, one day said preacher stood up in front of their flock and said, "For years I've been telling you to do what feels right to you.  Well, what would feel right to me is to take all the money and move to Hawaii."   So they did.   

At least they were upfront about it :)  Most people would have just taken the money and disappeared without a word.

As a teenager, I thought starting a religion would be a great way to get rich.

Catbert

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3326 on: February 09, 2024, 11:04:22 AM »
Regardless, one day said preacher stood up in front of their flock and said, "For years I've been telling you to do what feels right to you.  Well, what would feel right to me is to take all the money and move to Hawaii."   So they did.   

At least they were upfront about it :)  Most people would have just taken the money and disappeared without a word.

As a teenager, I thought starting a religion would be a great way to get rich.

You and Jim Jones although it ultimately didn't work out for him.

Dicey

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3327 on: February 09, 2024, 12:40:37 PM »
Regardless, one day said preacher stood up in front of their flock and said, "For years I've been telling you to do what feels right to you.  Well, what would feel right to me is to take all the money and move to Hawaii."   So they did.   

At least they were upfront about it :)  Most people would have just taken the money and disappeared without a word.

As a teenager, I thought starting a religion would be a great way to get rich.

You and Jim Jones although it ultimately didn't work out for him.
Sidebar rant. That's why I despiiiise the expression "Drink/drank the Kool-Aid." People have no idea where it came from. Aaack!

solon

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3328 on: February 09, 2024, 01:00:16 PM »
Regardless, one day said preacher stood up in front of their flock and said, "For years I've been telling you to do what feels right to you.  Well, what would feel right to me is to take all the money and move to Hawaii."   So they did.   

At least they were upfront about it :)  Most people would have just taken the money and disappeared without a word.

As a teenager, I thought starting a religion would be a great way to get rich.

You and Jim Jones although it ultimately didn't work out for him.
Sidebar rant. That's why I despiiiise the expression "Drink/drank the Kool-Aid." People have no idea where it came from. Aaack!

I once heard someone claim drink the kool aid was a racist expression. I was like, oh my god, it's sooooo much worse than that.

SwordGuy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3329 on: February 09, 2024, 01:23:15 PM »
Regardless, one day said preacher stood up in front of their flock and said, "For years I've been telling you to do what feels right to you.  Well, what would feel right to me is to take all the money and move to Hawaii."   So they did.   

At least they were upfront about it :)  Most people would have just taken the money and disappeared without a word.

As a teenager, I thought starting a religion would be a great way to get rich.

You and Jim Jones although it ultimately didn't work out for him.

Don't knock Jim Jones!   

In addition to being a preacher, he was the world's finest boxer. 

He killed 909 people with just one punch.


zolotiyeruki

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3330 on: February 09, 2024, 01:27:23 PM »
Regardless, one day said preacher stood up in front of their flock and said, "For years I've been telling you to do what feels right to you.  Well, what would feel right to me is to take all the money and move to Hawaii."   So they did.   

At least they were upfront about it :)  Most people would have just taken the money and disappeared without a word.

As a teenager, I thought starting a religion would be a great way to get rich.

You and Jim Jones although it ultimately didn't work out for him.

Don't knock Jim Jones!   

In addition to being a preacher, he was the world's finest boxer. 

He killed 909 people with just one punch.
Hey now, the stupid joke thread is thataway!

lhamo

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3331 on: February 09, 2024, 01:32:30 PM »
Regardless, one day said preacher stood up in front of their flock and said, "For years I've been telling you to do what feels right to you.  Well, what would feel right to me is to take all the money and move to Hawaii."   So they did.   

At least they were upfront about it :)  Most people would have just taken the money and disappeared without a word.

As a teenager, I thought starting a religion would be a great way to get rich.

You and Jim Jones although it ultimately didn't work out for him.
Sidebar rant. That's why I despiiiise the expression "Drink/drank the Kool-Aid." People have no idea where it came from. Aaack!

It wasn't even Kool=Aid!  It was Flavor-Aid (cheaper knock off).

Yes, I may have gone a bit too deep down the rabbit hole of high demand religions in the last few months....

Chaplin

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3332 on: February 09, 2024, 01:35:26 PM »
Sidebar rant. That's why I despiiiise the expression "Drink/drank the Kool-Aid." People have no idea where it came from. Aaack!

Agreed! But when someone does use it, asking "so they're all dead?" leads to an interesting conversation.

Capsu78

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3333 on: February 12, 2024, 05:33:18 PM »
[
[/quote]
Sidebar rant. That's why I despiiiise the expression "Drink/drank the Kool-Aid." People have no idea where it came from. Aaack!
[/quote]

It wasn't even Kool=Aid!  It was Flavor-Aid (cheaper knock off).

Yes, I may have gone a bit too deep down the rabbit hole of high demand religions in the last few months....
[/quote]

Correct- It was Flavor-aid which was cheaper because it didn't contain sugar in the ingredients.  Whichever brand owned Kool Aid tried to tamp down the connection but the story itself was too grusome to make the distinction stick.  We talked about this case in a Crisis Management exercise I was once involved with in my career. 

ATtiny85

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3334 on: February 16, 2024, 07:38:14 PM »
Sidebar rant. That's why I despiiiise the expression "Drink/drank the Kool-Aid." People have no idea where it came from. Aaack!

Whatís wrong with the Tom Wolfe book? We might actually be a band of Merry Pranksters right here.

Dicey

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3335 on: February 16, 2024, 09:34:24 PM »
Sidebar rant. That's why I despiiiise the expression "Drink/drank the Kool-Aid." People have no idea where it came from. Aaack!

Whatís wrong with the Tom Wolfe book? We might actually be a band of Merry Pranksters right here.
Nothing, but that's not where the reference came from. If you're not sure, Google "Jonestown."

Mr. Green

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3336 on: February 17, 2024, 12:21:00 AM »
Regardless, one day said preacher stood up in front of their flock and said, "For years I've been telling you to do what feels right to you.  Well, what would feel right to me is to take all the money and move to Hawaii."   So they did.   

At least they were upfront about it :)  Most people would have just taken the money and disappeared without a word.

As a teenager, I thought starting a religion would be a great way to get rich.

You and Jim Jones although it ultimately didn't work out for him.

Don't knock Jim Jones!   

In addition to being a preacher, he was the world's finest boxer. 

He killed 909 people with just one punch.
Wow. I knew of Jonestown and the origins of the "drank the kool-aid" reference but I never read about the incident itself. 909 people?! How incredibly sad.

ATtiny85

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3337 on: February 17, 2024, 09:40:14 AM »
Sidebar rant. That's why I despiiiise the expression "Drink/drank the Kool-Aid." People have no idea where it came from. Aaack!

Whatís wrong with the Tom Wolfe book? We might actually be a band of Merry Pranksters right here.
Nothing, but that's not where the reference came from. If you're not sure, Google "Jonestown."

Language evolves. Tom Wolfe said LSD and Kool Aid, some folks a decade later used it to describe Jonestown and that disaster of gullibility, and now in the workplace it has yet another meaning.

But I get it, you find it bad. But you should also get that not everyone does. Tricky stuff, slang.

eyesonthehorizon

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3338 on: February 17, 2024, 12:41:25 PM »
...and now in the workplace it has yet another meaning. ...
Does it? I was always aware of Jonestown & took it as very grim humor about what submitting to bosses & the workplace does to one's soul, I figured others understood the reference also. But apparently based on this conversation, that's perhaps not the case.

Fresh Bread

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3339 on: February 17, 2024, 01:32:32 PM »
...and now in the workplace it has yet another meaning. ...
Does it? I was always aware of Jonestown & took it as very grim humor about what submitting to bosses & the workplace does to one's soul, I figured others understood the reference also. But apparently based on this conversation, that's perhaps not the case.

I also took it to mean they'd been brainwashed & joined the company cult.

But has anyone got any inheritance stories?

I recently told my dad to give everything to my sister since she could use it more. He's altering his will. No drama.

Villanelle

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3340 on: February 17, 2024, 03:36:04 PM »
...and now in the workplace it has yet another meaning. ...
Does it? I was always aware of Jonestown & took it as very grim humor about what submitting to bosses & the workplace does to one's soul, I figured others understood the reference also. But apparently based on this conversation, that's perhaps not the case.

I never applied it to just a workplace, but always knew the reference and understood the idiom to mean blind adherence and loyalty to leadership or people with authority or influence.  (IOW, it doesn't have to be just a boss.  Someone could "drink the kool-aid" by following the ridiculous or dangerous guidance of a social media influencer, for example.   

While it's a bit dark, it seems entirely in line with the actual incident and makes perfect sense as an expression. 

Dicey

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3341 on: February 18, 2024, 12:53:52 AM »
...and now in the workplace it has yet another meaning. ...
Does it? I was always aware of Jonestown & took it as very grim humor about what submitting to bosses & the workplace does to one's soul, I figured others understood the reference also. But apparently based on this conversation, that's perhaps not the case.

I never applied it to just a workplace, but always knew the reference and understood the idiom to mean blind adherence and loyalty to leadership or people with authority or influence.  (IOW, it doesn't have to be just a boss.  Someone could "drink the kool-aid" by following the ridiculous or dangerous guidance of a social media influencer, for example.   

While it's a bit dark, it seems entirely in line with the actual incident and makes perfect sense as an expression.
I kept hearing it used in my field as a substitute for "someone's really on board" or "everybody needs to get on board", which totally pissed me off. Reason 9,768 to FIRE.

auntie_betty

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3342 on: February 18, 2024, 01:21:08 AM »
Jarndyce 2.0? I'm so sorry.
Thanks for that. Had to look it up and I learned something.

We're not there...but I do wonder what the lawyer fees will be in the end. There is no litigation, just normal, everyday probate work. Why it should take so long is a mystery to me.
My husband did a deed of variation (I think????) so that his inheritance passed straight to his brother but in that case there was a will so guessing that was more straightforward?

merula

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3343 on: February 19, 2024, 09:37:51 AM »
But has anyone got any inheritance stories?

I recently told my dad to give everything to my sister since she could use it more. He's altering his will. No drama.

My grandpa is in his mid-90s, he married again later in life and they have kept their assets fairly separate with the idea that his kids and hers will inherit their parent's assets, not the step-parents. They still live independently, but are looking into nursing homes.

My mother's reading comprehension generally leaves something to be desired, and she apparently is freaking out because Grandpa's will says (1) that my aunt is the executor, but she passed away a few years ago, and (2) that grandpa's assets will be divided among his remaining living children.

I've never seen this will, but I've seen a few other wills, and they always have a provision for what to do if the executor is unavailable, and also something about the shares of children who predecease the parent flowing down to the children's heirs. This happened when my mom's maternal grandmother died; since her mother predeceased her grandma, she and her siblings split their mom's portion. It's not an emergency. My cousins aren't disinherited.

BlueHouse

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3344 on: February 19, 2024, 09:53:17 AM »
...and now in the workplace it has yet another meaning. ...
Does it? I was always aware of Jonestown & took it as very grim humor about what submitting to bosses & the workplace does to one's soul, I figured others understood the reference also. But apparently based on this conversation, that's perhaps not the case.

I never applied it to just a workplace, but always knew the reference and understood the idiom to mean blind adherence and loyalty to leadership or people with authority or influence.  (IOW, it doesn't have to be just a boss.  Someone could "drink the kool-aid" by following the ridiculous or dangerous guidance of a social media influencer, for example.   

While it's a bit dark, it seems entirely in line with the actual incident and makes perfect sense as an expression.

Except that many of the people at Jonestown wanted to leave but were afraid for their lives.  There were armed guards stopping people from leaving. 

If you've seen the documentaries, especially the parts with Jackie Spier, you'll have a whole new appreciation for her.  I had seen that documentary just a few months prior to the January 6th insurrection and couldn't help but think about her experiences and what a strong woman she is.  Jan 6 would have been a massive PTSD trigger but she was able to speak and be helpful to the nation immediately afterwards.  California has some remarkable congresspeople. 

Sandi_k

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3345 on: February 19, 2024, 10:18:18 AM »



My mother's reading comprehension generally leaves something to be desired, and she apparently is freaking out because Grandpa's will says (1) that my aunt is the executor, but she passed away a few years ago, and (2) that grandpa's assets will be divided among his remaining living children.

I've never seen this will, but I've seen a few other wills, and they always have a provision for what to do if the executor is unavailable, and also something about the shares of children who predecease the parent flowing down to the children's heirs. This happened when my mom's maternal grandmother died; since her mother predeceased her grandma, she and her siblings split their mom's portion. It's not an emergency. My cousins aren't disinherited.

Or maybe your mom's reading comprehension is just fine, and it's a poorly written will. Many attorneys are bad at this stuff, so they don't take into account the idea that a child can pre-decease their parent.

If your grandfather's will REALLY does pass along his assets to the surviving children, your cousins are screwed. And it's hard for the other kids to pass along assets to your cousins without complications, such as filing gift tax forms, etc.

I am ballsy, so I'd ask to see the will, just to make sure it doesn't need to be updated.

Captain FIRE

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3346 on: February 19, 2024, 10:34:51 AM »
Or itís intentional. Common ways to divide an inheritance:
- per stripes (divides at first generation always regardless if everyone there is dead, and deceased share goes to their kids)
- per capita at each generation (split at equal shares for each living generation. If three kids, two deceased, sibling gets 1/3, and kids of deceased siblings split equally regardless of if one sibling had 4 kids and the other 1 kid).
- per capital with representation (divide at first generation with someone living, then down the bloodline sharing the amount their ancestor would have taken). A blend of the  above two.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3347 on: February 19, 2024, 10:55:35 AM »
Or itís intentional. Common ways to divide an inheritance:
- per stripes (divides at first generation always regardless if everyone there is dead, and deceased share goes to their kids)
- per capita at each generation (split at equal shares for each living generation. If three kids, two deceased, sibling gets 1/3, and kids of deceased siblings split equally regardless of if one sibling had 4 kids and the other 1 kid).
- per capital with representation (divide at first generation with someone living, then down the bloodline sharing the amount their ancestor would have taken). A blend of the  above two.

Or there's the Old Family Way: split evenly among adult offspring, and if one of them predeceases the testators, require that the deceased adult kid's share be redistributed among the surviving adult offspring, intentionally disinheriting the adult child's children or heirs. This occurs when the adult child in question is a female (i.e. married into someone else's family) or had children through adoption or any other method besides the traditional straight way.

merula

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3348 on: February 19, 2024, 11:54:53 AM »
Or maybe your mom's reading comprehension is just fine, and it's a poorly written will.

That would be hearing hoofbeats and thinking zebras. We're talking about the will of a man whose first wife died at 39, one child died at 33 and another at 61. He was deeply involved in his MIL's will, with per stipes that went down to the third generation due to these deaths. He also has always been extremely technical and detail-oriented.

We are also not talking about an amount that would trigger gift taxes if the surviving siblings were to distribute shares to their niblings even in the worst case scenario.

ToTheMoon

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #3349 on: February 19, 2024, 11:55:52 AM »
Or itís intentional. Common ways to divide an inheritance:
- per stripes (divides at first generation always regardless if everyone there is dead, and deceased share goes to their kids)
- per capita at each generation (split at equal shares for each living generation. If three kids, two deceased, sibling gets 1/3, and kids of deceased siblings split equally regardless of if one sibling had 4 kids and the other 1 kid).
- per capital with representation (divide at first generation with someone living, then down the bloodline sharing the amount their ancestor would have taken). A blend of the  above two.

Or there's the Old Family Way: split evenly among adult offspring, and if one of them predeceases the testators, require that the deceased adult kid's share be redistributed among the surviving adult offspring, intentionally disinheriting the adult child's children or heirs. This occurs when the adult child in question is a female (i.e. married into someone else's family) or had children through adoption or any other method besides the traditional straight way.

*Or when the deceased was terrified that some of their money was to end up in the hands of a spouse they were not a fan of.

My grandmother did this, and wound up disinheriting my cousin after cousins father died before his Mum.  Siblings and I offered to split our shares to ensure they was covered, but my parent and her other sibling with means decided to cover it out of their shares and never mention it to the disinherited cousin. It would likely break their heart and ruin the memory of our grandmother if they were to find out.
« Last Edit: February 19, 2024, 06:26:52 PM by ToTheMoon »

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!