I think our compromise goal is going to be all surfaces clear, but all storage areas stuffed with stuff so the apartment still feels full and cozy. I would be happy with that.
That sounds like a great option.
I had a big experience of this with a boyfriend. Months after I'd moved out, I visited his place. It was cluttered, messy, and dirty, with everything set up to play online 24/7 without having to move. Like, kinda extreme.
However, my takeaway was a total epiphany about how much he'd loved me and really worked to make us go! He had made a LOT of compromise in that area. I wasn't aware of it at the time.
Shortly after, he married someone with the same preferences and ways as him and was so happy to immerse in [what was in their case] squalor. Noted! I'm glad he didn't have to live with my preferences ongoing :(
It also made me more sensitive to the preference for "surrounded", including in my kid, etc.
It felt like a big milestone to me, because a lot of the reason I want surfaces clear is to make it easier to dust, scrub, vaccum, etc. and keep the apartment feeling clean, not just decluttered.
Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I grew up in a lovely, clean home that had lots of clutter. I perpetually dreamed of minimalism, in part so cleaning was easy. I have that now. So happy for you, zygote!