Thanks for all the replies. I have spoken to her a little about what she would want. She says that she would be happy with anything I got her. And that she wants something simple and not gaudy. However she usually tends towards "quality" when buying things in general. And the other night I mentioned that I needed to spend $5k in the next 3 months in order to get a CC bonus, she said an engagement ring would be good. I said ok, but what about the other $4k? She laughed but she also said that the rule of thumb is 1 month's salary. So I think it needs to be a ring that is at least "average" and that when she shows people she won't be embarrassed about it. I also want her to be "thrilled" with it and not just "ok" with it. So assuming it needs to be a natural diamond and new - any suggestions?
*I'll check out the second hand diamonds too.
That "rule" was a marketing ploy by the diamond company, and it's actually 2 months salary.
Just have an honest conversation with her about what she really wants. It will be the first of many many to come.
As for "quality", I mean, it's a diamond, even a super shitty diamond is one of the strongest rocks on earth, so "quality" when it comes to diamonds is entirely in the eye of the beholder.
@partygyspy is educated on gems, but the average Joe can't tell if a diamond is rubbish by looking at it. It pretty obvious when a crap stone is next to a nearly perfect stone, but for the most part, unless someone cares about diamonds, they can only tell if it's really poorly cut or a really dreadful colour or has huge flaws visible to the naked eye.
If the stone looks shiny and pretty, then almost anyone looking at it will see a shiny, pretty stone.
I do agree though, cut is probably your best bang for your buck in terms of aiming for high quality. A bad cut can make a diamond look like plastic.
My most recent diamond ring is a pear shape, which is a shit cut as it is. It leaks light like crazy through the middle and has a dark "bowtie" where nothing is reflected, but it's the shape I wanted. There are so many stones on the ring that they compensate for the lack of fire of the main stone though. It would have been a HUGE waste to give a shit about clarity and cut for a pear shape, so I was able to get a good price on my main stone because I could go with poorer stats because they didn't matter.
I get A LOT of attention for my ring because it's so shiny (thanks tiny diamonds!) and the style is stunning (thanks Vera Wang!). It was ~$3500.
https://www.gordonsjewelers.com/vera-wang-love-collection-1-ct-tw-pearshaped-diamond-vintagestyle-ring-14k-white-gold/p/V-19952483My point is that depending on what she wants, you may or may not have to pay a premium for arbitrary "quality". I knew exactly what I wanted and the quality I wanted was the design. Because I wanted a pear cut, there was no benefit to prioritizing "quality" factors that did even matter.
Know what she wants. Invest accordingly.
BTW, I rarely wear that ring. My favourite is actually a 3ct antique ruby and diamond ring from Russia that I bought for myself when I graduated.
Again, know what she actually wants. Invest accordingly.