Good quotes - add one!

[RetiredAt63]

I love some of the tidbits of wisdom I find on the internet.

Anyone else got "new" quotes that have resonated?

Here are two to start off:

"Oh, the urge to do something during an emergency is very strong.  It takes training and discipline to do nothing."

""No" is a complete sentence."

[viper155]

"Never argue with a liberal. It is like fighting a battle of wits with an unarmed man."

[prof61820]

"The easiest job in America is Rush Limbaugh's fact checker." Al Franken

[trailrated]

"what matters most is how well you walk through the fire"
"A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor"
"Ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders"
"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful"

[DeepEllumStache]

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” - Mae West

[surfhb]

"nothing good ever came from normal"

[Prepube]

"The easiest job in Armeica is Rush Limbaugh's fact checker." Al Franken

Bill Maher:
Trying to get today’s Republican to accept basic facts is like trying to get your dog to take a pill.  You have to feed them the truth wrapped in a piece of boloney, hold their snout shut, and stroke their throats.  And even then, just when you think they’ve swallowed it, the spit it out on the linoleum.

[trailrated]

Man I was hoping this would turn into a positive awesome quote thread not a crazy right vs. left political pissing contest :(

[Prepube]

sorry.  Is this better?

“My friend said to me, You know what I like? Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause.”

Mitch Hedburg

[trailrated]

sorry.  Is this better?

“My friend said to me, You know what I like? Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause.”

Mitch Hedburg

:)

[Eric]

Man I was hoping this would turn into a positive awesome quote thread not a crazy right vs. left political pissing contest :(

"All it takes is one partisan hack to derail a whole thread" -- Eric

[LeighinCT]

"people only tell you what they want you to know"

source credit to my 70 year old mother

[prof61820]

"If something doesn't make sense, it means you don't have enough information."

"I'd worry a lot less if I thought you were worrying enough."  Tom Reagan in Miller's Crossing

[Grid]

Ah quotes.  I love quotes.

"Life is more about the journey than the destination." -Not sure on source / "...the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle." -Olympic Creed

"Can't means you don't want to." -Grid's late grandfather

And the attached, which has been in my wallet for at least 5 years.

[StangStache]

"A Lannister always repays his debts."

[domustachesgrowinhouston]

"You cant tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks."

[Happy Little Chipmunk]

Do what you can, want what you have and be who you are. --Forrest Church

and for a different view on wanting...

Discipline is remembering what you want. --David Campbell

[Argyle]

I have a different version of Grid's grandfather's quote: "Can't lives on won't street."

"Fall down, get up, one motion."

"People won't remember what you say.  They remember how you made them feel."

"You get back what you give out."

[geekette]

Based on my day today - Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by ignorance (or stupidity, in this case).

[domustachesgrowinhouston]

"Life cannot exist but at the expense of other life."

[4n6]

"Don't let your alligator mouth run away with your tadpole behind." (My dad...yes, I know it is weird, but it is such an interesting quotation I had to share."

[Astatine]

Based on my day today - Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by ignorance (or stupidity, in this case).

+1

I say variations of this most days at work

[happyfeet]

My father, on asked why he has been married to my mother for 60 years(happily) "Happy wife, happy life"

My mother, same question "ohhhh  ummmm patience"

Father in Law when losing a game of cards to you "The dumbest farmers grow the biggest potatoes"

[VirginiaBob]

Always liked anything George Carlin.  He had a quote something like this:

Think about how stupid the average American is.  Then think about the fact that half the people are stupider than that.

[Pooperman]

"The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present." (forget the original source, but re-quoted by Elanor Roosevelt)

[StangStache]

Always liked anything George Carlin.  He had a quote something like this:

Think about how stupid the average American is.  Then think about the fact that half the people are stupider than that.

The great part of this is that it's actually not a "smart" statement.  "Average" is synonymous with the arithmetic mean.  Since with any intelligence metric you're most definitely looking at a skewed distribution, exactly half of Americans most certainly do not fall short of the mean.  The mean, in general, is not equal to the 50th percentile. 

I think he meant to say "Think about how stupid the median American is."   In this case, half of Americans will fall short of this figure. 

Come on, George.  You're better than that :)

[SwordGuy]

My Uncle Shorty on politicians:

"Politicians are like cockroaches.  It's not how much they eat that's the problem, it's what they fall into and mess up."

[tracylayton]

The harder I work, the luckier I get. - Ray Kroc

[Prepube]

Always liked anything George Carlin.  He had a quote something like this:

Think about how stupid the average American is.  Then think about the fact that half the people are stupider than that.

The great part of this is that it's actually not a "smart" statement.  "Average" is synonymous with the arithmetic mean.  Since with any intelligence metric you're most definitely looking at a skewed distribution, exactly half of Americans most certainly do not fall short of the mean.  The mean, in general, is not equal to the 50th percentile. 

Actually, intelligence metrics are almost always computed using a normal curve , which is based on a mean of zero, standard deviation of 1. The "Average" score falls roughly between -1 and +1, which constitutes 68% of the population.  the mid point of this, 0, is usually considered the "average" score, and it is, indeed at the 50% percentile. Don't fuck with George Carlin.

[C. K.]

"Make your mess your message." - Unknown

[Zoot Allures]

"Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem which he has to solve." --Erich Fromm

[fartface]

Viper - you're only one wit away from a half-wit. Congratulations!

[fartface]

"I have patience with stupidity; just not those who are proud of it (viper)."

[nirvines88]

 “Whatever you are, be a good one.” - Abraham Lincoln

"Never throughout history has a man who lived a life of ease left a name worth remembering." -Theodore Roosevelt

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." – Edmund Burke

[whiskeyjack]

Science is a way of trying not to fool yourself. The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool.
   -Richard Feynmann


The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes. ... Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.
        -MLK

[Rural]

"Big hat, no cattle."

[StangStache]

Always liked anything George Carlin.  He had a quote something like this:

Think about how stupid the average American is.  Then think about the fact that half the people are stupider than that.

The great part of this is that it's actually not a "smart" statement.  "Average" is synonymous with the arithmetic mean.  Since with any intelligence metric you're most definitely looking at a skewed distribution, exactly half of Americans most certainly do not fall short of the mean.  The mean, in general, is not equal to the 50th percentile. 

Actually, intelligence metrics are almost always computed using a normal curve , which is based on a mean of zero, standard deviation of 1. The "Average" score falls roughly between -1 and +1, which constitutes 68% of the population.  the mid point of this, 0, is usually considered the "average" score, and it is, indeed at the 50% percentile. Don't fuck with George Carlin.

Fair enough, but if we want to be really technical, the population parameters are in reality approximately normal, not exactly normal.   

Now we're thread crapping :)

[GardenFun]

"Big hat, no cattle."

My grandma's version was "mink coat, no underwear".

She was describing her sister-in-law at a funeral.  Took all my mom's power not to bust out laughing. 

[2Birds1Stone]

"speak softly and carry a big stick"

[MrsPete]

"Never argue with a liberal. It is like fighting a battle of wits with an unarmed man."

Similar:  Never argue with idiots.  They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience. 

[MrsPete]

"Don't let your alligator mouth run away with your tadpole behind." (My dad...yes, I know it is weird, but it is such an interesting quotation I had to share."

My 10th grade history teacher used to say, "Y'all've got diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain". 

Same guy:  If some idiot asked him the answer to a test question, he'd give it -- but it was a wrong answer, yet the idiots among us never realized that.  And they continued to ask him questions time after time during the test.  It was evident to the rest of us that he totally loved lying to kids during tests. 

[NoraLenderbee]

Plans are worthless, but planning is essential. --Dwight D. Eisenhower

[Breaker]

Everyone is good for something.  Even if it's just to set a bad example.

[VirginiaBob]

Here are some good quotes:

https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=good+quotes

[Kansas Beachbum]

Life is too short to drink cheap wine or warm beer.

Nobody on their death bed ever said "I wish I'd spent more time at work".

Happy Monday all!

[RetiredAt63]

"At Knit's End:Meditation for women who knit too much" is full of goodies.

a few:
"I base most of my fashion sense on what doesn't itch" - Gilda Radner - maybe this should go over into one of the beauty/fashion threads  ;-)

"Nature always sides with the hidden flaw" - Murphy's ninth law

"Forgive your enemies but never forget their names" - JFK

[RetiredAt63]

I was clearing out old magazines today and found the Maclean's with the coverage of Jack Layton's funeral.  So here is a good one:

“My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world.”

[ketchup]

I've been collecting some over the past few months, here's the highlights.

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
-Aristotle

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
-Theodore Roosevelt

"We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
-Albert Einstein

"The difference between theory and practice, is bigger in theory, than it is in practice."

"If you wait for all the lights to turn green before starting your journey, you’ll never leave the driveway."

"Play to win, don’t play not to lose."

[solon]

On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.
-- Charles Babbage (1791-1871)

Software developers will get this.

[Heywood57]

Wilson's Law:
Every action has an equal and opposite government program.



"When I wake up in the morning,     I'll be sober and you'll still be ugly."
     -- Winston Churchill