Good quotes - add one!

[Pooperman]

Old engineering joke, not quite a quote, but the last post reminded me of it.

Optimist = Glass is half full.
Pessimist = Glass is half empty.
Engineer = Glass is twice as big as it should be.

Since I'm currently reading the MMM recommended book on Stoicism, let me just add this to my little joke:

Stoic = Delighted to have a glass.

Realist = Sees half a glass of water and drinks it. The pessimist cheers (is that even possible?) because now it's empty.

[galliver]

On that note: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. An optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel! The realist sees the approaching train.

"I know this goes against everything you've been taught, but right and wrong DO exist. Just because you don't know what the right answer is—maybe there’s even no way you could know what the right answer is—doesn’t make your answer right or even okay. It's much simpler than that: it's just plain wrong." ~Dr. House
"Elves seldom give unguarded advice, for advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise, and all courses may run ill." ~ LOTR
"If one of two options is a trap, then you should look for a third." ~Sergei Lukyanenko (Author of "Night Watch" series)
"You have to be a bit of a liar to tell a story the right way. Too much truth confuses the facts. Too much honesty makes you sound insincere." ~Kvothe in Patrick Rothfuss' The Name of the Wind
"That's why stories appeal to us. They give us the clarity and simplicity our real lives lack." ~Kvothe in Patrick Rothfuss' The Name of the Wind
"...take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder, and sieve it through the finest sieve, and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. And yet, you try to act as if there is some ideal order in the world..."~from Hogfather, Douglas Adams
"We love what we love. Reason does not enter into it. In many ways, unwise love is the truest love. Anyone can love a thing BECAUSE. That's as easy as putting a penny in your pocket. But to love something DESPITE. To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure and perfect."~Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man's Fear.

[Heywood57]

Old engineering joke, not quite a quote, but the last post reminded me of it.

Optimist = Glass is half full.
Pessimist = Glass is half empty.
Engineer = Glass is twice as big as it should be.

Since I'm currently reading the MMM recommended book on Stoicism, let me just add this to my little joke:

Stoic = Delighted to have a glass.

Realist = Sees half a glass of water and drinks it. The pessimist cheers (is that even possible?) because now it's empty.

The physicist sees the glass as full, half water, half air.

The analyst sees the glass at 50% of its potential capacity.

The cynic wonders who drank the other half.

The Democrat says, There is still more to tax in that glass.

The Socialist says, We have to redistribute the contents of that glass.

[Beric01]

"Be different, just like everyone else."

-My dad.

[Pooperman]

Old engineering joke, not quite a quote, but the last post reminded me of it.

Optimist = Glass is half full.
Pessimist = Glass is half empty.
Engineer = Glass is twice as big as it should be.

Since I'm currently reading the MMM recommended book on Stoicism, let me just add this to my little joke:

Stoic = Delighted to have a glass.

Realist = Sees half a glass of water and drinks it. The pessimist cheers (is that even possible?) because now it's empty.

The physicist sees the glass as full, half water, half air.

The analyst sees the glass at 50% of its potential capacity.

The cynic wonders who drank the other half.

The Democrat says, There is still more to tax in that glass.

The Socialist says, We have to redistribute the contents of that glass.

The Republican attempts to pass a law forbidding half glasses of water because "it should be either empty or full, none of this water and air mixing is traditional"

The liberal mass produces the half filled glasses in China, and markets them as iGlass, it's a success.

The autocrat claims the glass in the name of the dear leader.

The Nazi says "mein" (ok, couldn't resist that one)

[jordanread]

The Nazi says "mein" (ok, couldn't resist that one)

Just had possibly the best mental image of the week. Nazi seagulls.

[odput]

A few from my favorite musical comedian Tim Minchin:

Throughout history, every mystery ever solved has turned out to be...not magic

...a wealthy, wealthy man in a 1989 Mitsubishi Colt

It's mathematically unlikely that at a university in Perth I'd happen to stumble on the one girl on earth specifically designed for me

If you open your mind too much, your brain will fall out

[Gerard]

The Socialist says, We have to redistribute the contents of that glass.

Fuckin' socialists, with their crazy "water for all" policies. :-)

[DeepEllumStache]

The Nazi says "mein" (ok, couldn't resist that one)

Just had possibly the best mental image of the week. Nazi seagulls.

That made me giggle.  Mein! Mein! Mein! Finding Nemo style.

"Be different, just like everyone else."

-My dad.

I'd heard something similar: You are a special snowflake, just like everyone else.

[JetBlast]

The story so far:

In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

-Douglas Adams

I'm tired of hearing about money money money. I just want to play the game, drink pepsi and wear reebok

(Shaquille O'Neal after signing a 7 year $123 million contract with the LA Lakers)

I prefer the math lesson he gave years ago: "Our offense is like the Pythagorean theorem. There is no answer."

[chuckaluck]

To the world, you might be just one person. 
But to one person, you just might be the world.

[jba302]

The world's greatest fool may say the Sun is shining, but that doesn't make it dark out.

[Professor Ecks]

One of my favorites is:

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." 

                                                  - Arthur Schopenhauer


I already believe the frugal living guidelines championed by MMM to be "truth," yet I fear they have a whole lot of ridicule and violent opposition yet to face before it is considered self-evident.

[Duchess]

So many good quotes here. I love them!

This is my favourite:

"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about."
~ Charles Kingsley

[Gilead1986]

Poor men have poor ways.  Not sure who said it. 

[jordanread]

This is your life; make it legendary.

[NinetyFour]

If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.

[Heywood57]

Daily thought:
Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but
they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

[frpeebles]

"[...]What I think is not ok, what I think is deeply immoral, is to tell a child that when she dies, if she is not good, she is going to go to hell. That seems to me to be mental child abuse and an utter disgrace."
-Dawkins

[lizzie]

"That four great nations, flushed with victory and stung with injury stay the hand of vengeance and voluntarily submit their captive enemies to the judgment of the law is one of the most significant tributes that Power has ever paid to Reason."

Robert H. Jackson, Chief Counsel for the United States
Opening Statement at the Nuremberg Trials

[clarkfan1979]

The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. Chinese Proverb

[lizzie]

Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.

--Douglas Adams

[jordanread]

Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.

--Douglas Adams

Oh, I haven't heard that in far too long. Thank you.

[Mr.Chipper77]

Sometimes its better to sit there and say nothing then to talk and let people know how dumb you are!

[thurston howell iv]

A few random -mostly paraphrased-ones I've heard or read. (Not sure of the authors)

"hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise"- Dale Carnegie

"I cut it twice and it's still too short!"

"Funny how there always seems to be enough money to do it the right second time"

"expenses always rise to meet income" (unless you're a mustachian!) HA!

"cheap, fast, reliable- pick two"

"I want to be the person my dog thinks I am"

"If my dog doesn't like you maybe I shouldn't either"

From a Navy recruiting commercial some years ago: "I someone wrote a book about your life, would anyone want to read it?"

For the lazy folks: "Why put off till tomorrow what you can put off till the day after tomorrow?"




 

[Cheddar Stacker]

Came across this last week:

A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play; his labor and his leisure; his mind and his body; his education and his recreation. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing, and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing. To himself, he always appears to be doing both.

Sounds good to me. I'm working toward accomplishing this. I need to master the art of living.

[thurston howell iv]

Just thought of another one I heard on a Car forum:

"If a hammer can't fix it, you've got an electrical issue"

[Tetsuya Hondo]

A few of the opening political pom-pom waving salvos made me think of this:

"Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about."
- Mark Twain

[Tetsuya Hondo]

I'll add one more:

When i was younger I thought about women constantly. I was always running around looking for a good time. Now i've matured, my priorities have changed. I'm aware of what's really important: crushing my enemies.
    -- Harvey Pekar

[Alchemilla]

The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. Chinese Proverb

And the second best time is now.

"True religion is when one can look at all the wonders of the world with a peaceful mind". Lucretius.

This will be my FU letter

"Working for you requires a degree of stupidity of which I no longer feel capable". Paraphrased from Blakes 7.

[Threshkin]

"You can spend all your time making money
You can spend all your love making time"

Eagles (to remind me not to do this)

Ever since that song came out I thought the Eagles left a verse out.

"You can spend all your money making love"

OCD - Gotta complete the circle.

[tracylayton]

"I haven't failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that don't work."  Thomas Edison

[Threshkin]

Three of my own.

I have lived by and shared this one with others since I was a teenager.  It turned my life around.

"If you don't like what you are doing.  Do something else!"

I made it up in response to people who whine about their jobs and don't do anything about it.  It wound up shaping my entire life.

When my kids started working I added a corollary.

"Like what you do"

Everything in life has good and bad parts.  If you focus on the good parts you will be happy, if you focus on the bad stuff you just make yourself miserable.

Finally I added this one to make everything balance.

"There are two sides to every coin"

There are good and bad sides to everything.  If you can one see one side (good or bad) you are not looking hard enough.

[Pooperman]

The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. Chinese Proverb

And the second best time is now.

"True religion is when one can look at all the wonders of the world with a peaceful mind". Lucretius.

This will be my FU letter

"Working for you requires a PHD in stupidity, and I've only just finished high school". Paraphrased from Blakes 7.

You did say "degree" :D

[rosaz]

"I didn't take the road less traveled, I wandered off into the woods instead." - unknown

[Threshkin]

"Just remember this my friend, you can live your life in chains and never even know you have the key"

[Cromacster]

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

[undercover]

"I'm not like any other girl" - Every girl

[Cheddar Stacker]

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

And the early worm gets the shaft. I'm a late worm type.

[Knapptyme]

"It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do little--do what you can."

-Sydney Smith

Every littered can/bottle I pick up on a walk is a reminder to do what I can even if it's just one small change for the better.

[MrsCoolCat]

"Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself." -Mary Schmich

[Grog]

Baden-Powell:

"Be prepared."

"Paddle your own canoa".

"If you make listening and observation your occupation you will gain much more than you can by talk."

“A week of camp life is worth six months of theoretical teaching in the meeting room.”

"Happiness is not mere pleasure not the outcome of wealth. It is the result of active work rather than passive enjoyment of pleasure."

[Gerard]

"Money problems are the best problems to have, because when you get some money they go away."

-Lia Gangitano, Participant Inc.

[Travis]

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.



Time management is the art of blowing people off and not feeling guilty.

[Daley]

Aah, it's not often a good thread gets necroposted to around here these days. Might as well finally add a couple quotes of my own that are worthy to live life by...

Schwartz's Law:
"Don't go anywhere without going first."
-Julius "Julie" Schwartz, DC Comics Editor

Corollary to Schwartz's Law:
"There are two things you should never pass up: A free lunch and a chance to go to the bathroom."
-Lyndon B. Johnson

(I'm especially fond of the corollary, as it was handed down to me from my father decades ago. The long standing inside joke within the family and close friends before we leave anywhere is for one of us to mention we "need to do one for ol' LBJ" before we take off.)

[sheepstache]

"Idleness and pride tax with a heavier hand than kings and parliaments."-Benjamin Franklin

[2lazy2retire]

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.



Time management is the art of blowing people off and not feeling guilty.

No reason to feel guilty about blowing people off - but not sure what it has to do with time management

[Heywood57]

"The trouble with quotes on the Internet is you can never know if they are genuine"
---Abraham Lincoln

[Random Hangers]

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart. ~Emma Bombeck

Kind of cheesy, but: When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace. ~I saw it on a bumper sticker, lol, but Google is saying maybe Jimi Hendrix?

Believe things will get better. ~personal mantra, especially helpful during my more anxiety-ridden times

[ExitViaTheCashRamp]

Resources exist to be consumed. And consumed they will be, if not by this generation then by some future. By what right does this forgotten future seek to deny us our birthright? None I say! Let us take what is ours, chew and eat our fill.
CEO Nwabudike Morgan "The Ethics of Greed"

Human behavior is economic behavior. The particulars may vary but competition for limited resources remains a constant. Need as well as greed has followed us to the stars and the rewards of wealth still await those wise enough to recognize this deep thrumming of our common pulse.
CEO Nwabudike Morgan, "The Centauri Monopoly"

Why do you insist that the human genetic code is "sacred" or "taboo"? It is a chemical process and nothing more. For that matter -we- are chemical processes and nothing more. If you deny yourself a useful tool simply because it reminds you uncomfortably of your mortality, you have uselessly and pointlessly crippled yourself.
Chairman Sheng-ji Yang, "Looking God in the Eye"

Man's unfailing capacity to believe what he prefers to be true rather than what the evidence shows to be likely and possible has always astounded me. We long for a caring Universe which will save us from our childish mistakes, and in the face of mountains of evidence to the contrary we will pin all our hopes on the slimmest of doubts. God has not been proven not to exist, therefore he must exist.
Academician Prokhor Zakharov