What is the laziest thing you have ever done/seen someone do?

[trailrated]

No idea if this is true, I stole it from a facebook post and it made me laugh my ass off:

I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.

But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.

And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.

He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.

[arebelspy]

That's a great story. Waste aside. Subscribing.

[JZinCO]

Copy/pasting is kind of lazy
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1rgpdf/what_is_the_laziest_thing_youve_ever_done/cdnafqe
:)

[trailrated]

Copy/pasting is kind of lazy
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1rgpdf/what_is_the_laziest_thing_youve_ever_done/cdnafqe
:)

;)

My little brother would eat leftovers from the fridge and leave a single bite left on the plate and put it back so he wouldn't have to clean it.

[Sailor Sam]

That's an excellent story.

As for myself, I've definitely peed in a jar because I couldn't be arsed to walk to the head. Screwed the lid back on, and left it in the bookrack for about 6 months.

[JZinCO]

Copy/pasting is kind of lazy
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1rgpdf/what_is_the_laziest_thing_youve_ever_done/cdnafqe
:)

;)

My little brother would eat leftovers from the fridge and leave a single bite left on the plate and put it back so he wouldn't have to clean it.

hahaha. Oh, I skipped the first line with the disclaimer. I thought you were repeating your own story. I'm that kid who never read the directions on a problem set in grade school.

I can't offer any lazy stories that can compete when you set the bar so high from the gate.
That said, I was going on a first date with a gal and she suggested one bar, but I thought 'nah, I don't wanna bike that far. how about this one a block from me?'. That was the last date.
I also feel lazy if I order pizza delivery. I'm breaking that habit. Over a month since I ordered pizza!

[2ndTimer]

The Hub is too lazy to kick off the covers when he is too hot.  He just lays there and sweats.

[Dicey]

Too lazy to think of anything, much less write it down. Following.

[nanu]

. (laziest follow post...)

[mr_orange]

.

[The_path_less_taken]

For me, after a frazzled day at work and then ranch chores, when I hit the recliner and two 55lb dogs crawl into my lap....I'm done.

So if the remote gets knocked off the table or eaten by the recliner, I've been known to watch whatever is on for half an hour before booting the dogs off my lap.

Had an ex who didn't want to keep his car because he'd have to pay the registration AND the insurance....oh, the tragedy. I mentioned it's twice a year, but some insurance can be set to auto-pay.

<insert whine> "But how am I going to remember to pay the registration?"

We're not together any longer....

[Cromacster]

A friend of my parents bought a golf cart expressly for getting the mail and the newspaper.  He lived in the country and it was about 1/4 mile from his house to where the mail and paper were dropped.  He was otherwise in good health and owned a car.

[Squirrel away]

I have often seen people on the streets put litter into a bin but manage to miss and not bother to pick it up afterwards. That is lazy and it infuriates me. Also people who don't pick up after their dogs.

A friend of my parents bought a golf cart expressly for getting the mail and the newspaper.  He lived in the country and it was about 1/4 mile from his house to where the mail and paper were dropped.  He was otherwise in good health and owned a car.

Wow.:D

[andy85]

I prefer the term efficient. I am very efficient.

Once, as i pulled into the driveway after coming home from work, i rolled down my window, grabbed the handle of the big garbage can (big ones with wheels, provided by waste company) and proceed to drive down my driveway as it rolled beside my car. A passerby honked and gave me a thumbs up. One of the proudest lazy moments in my life. I couldnt be bothered to walk a 100ft round trip to retrieve the garbage can.

I am a problem solver. It is what i do.

[Lanthiriel]

Maybe not the laziest, but yesterday I was walking down the hall chatting with a coworker. When we got to the stairs, I was horrified that she pressed the elevator button. It's 20 stairs! I just took the stairs and went to my office. I told this story to another coworker and she was horrified that I didn't accompany the other lady on the elevator?? Apparently it was rude to end our conversation as a result of her laziness.

The worst part? She was heading downstairs to go stand in the parking lot for her smoke break. Fewer cigarettes might help her feel more confident tackling those stairs.

[LiveLean]

It bugs me when people stand rather than walk on the moving sidewalks at airports. It would be one thing if this were still 1985 and nobody had wheeled luggage. Get your fat ass moving.

[MandalayVA]

I prefer the term efficient. I am very efficient.

Once, as i pulled into the driveway after coming home from work, i rolled down my window, grabbed the handle of the big garbage can (big ones with wheels, provided by waste company) and proceed to drive down my driveway as it rolled beside my car. A passerby honked and gave me a thumbs up. One of the proudest lazy moments in my life. I couldnt be bothered to walk a 100ft round trip to retrieve the garbage can.

I am a problem solver. It is what i do.

/moved, wipes tear

[trailrated]

Back in college I was with two friends in Vegas. We were so hung over when we woke up, someone turned on the TV and Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift was on. We watched it twice in a row because all three of us were too lazy to get the remote to change the channel.

[trailrated]

I had a friend in highschool that built a mini conveyor belt system that automatically fed his fish in his fish tank because he was too lazy to sprinkle some fish food in the tank every day. That guy is awesome.

[Mr. Green]

Awesome. Have to admire the go to thought being, "Let me move the entire world around me," as opposed to moving yourself.

[rantk81]

I've seen people get in their car to drive from one store to another inside the SAME STRIP MALL.

[peoria]

Growing up we had 2 phone lines in our house, one for my parents and one for the kids.

My mother would be in her room and constantly call us on the phone to get us to come into her room to change the channel on her tv. (Originally the knob type TV's but then after she got one with a remote, she lost the remote within a week.)

She also would call us on the phone to make her dinner and bring it to her in the bedroom. She was not bedridden or otherwise in bad health, just lazy.

[leftcoastenvy]

My coworker lives really close to work. Our parking deck is 0.5 miles from the office building and she lives 0.3 miles from the parking deck. Every day she drives the 0.3 miles from her apartment to the parking deck. (It would literally be a 3-5 minute walk with sidewalks and everything; on a college campus). Then she waits at the parking deck for a shuttle to take her the 1/2 mile to our office. It makes no sense.

[MicroRN]

I've left the clock in my car unchanged after daylight savings, and left it so long that it was finally correct again after daylight savings ended.

[andy85]

I've left the clock in my car unchanged after daylight savings, and left it so long that it was finally correct again after daylight savings ended.

are you mad!?!?!
that would drive me insane. (no pun...maybe)

[serpentstooth]

Copy/pasting is kind of lazy
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1rgpdf/what_is_the_laziest_thing_youve_ever_done/cdnafqe
:)

;)

My little brother would eat leftovers from the fridge and leave a single bite left on the plate and put it back so he wouldn't have to clean it.

We used to do that with milk: leave a single tablespoon in the carton so that we didn't have to rinse it and take it out to the bin. Then I got married and moved out and realized the lazy asshole who didn't get rid of the milk carton was me. That was depressing.

[serpentstooth]

Also, to prove I haven't changed since childhood. Babytooth sleeps in our room and needs two bottles overnight. Rather than getting out of bed and walking across the apartment to retrieve the bottles at 2 and 5 am, I bought a $20 micro fridge off Craigslist and stuck it on my nightstand. I can now get the baby a bottle without getting out of bed and it's awesome.

[MicroRN]

Also, to prove I haven't changed since childhood. Babytooth sleeps in our room and needs two bottles overnight. Rather than getting out of bed and walking across the apartment to retrieve the bottles at 2 and 5 am, I bought a $20 micro fridge off Craigslist and stuck it on my nightstand. I can now get the baby a bottle without getting out of bed and it's awesome.

That's not laziness, that's survival!  I learned to change a diaper while still lying in bed, because if I stood up and moved around I couldn't get back to sleep.  If I stayed in bed, I could feed and change baby while still in a dreamy haze and get right back to sleep.  Sleep is vital. 

[sandandsun]

At the beaches we visit, people will walk about 20 ft in any direction from the public beach access and drop their two tons of crap... which works out well for anyone willing to walk a little further, you basically can have the whole beach to yourself :)

[trailrated]

I've left the clock in my car unchanged after daylight savings, and left it so long that it was finally correct again after daylight savings ended.

Ahahahahaha, I attempt to do the same but only lasted a few weeks. A passenger was so infuriated by it that she changed it for me.

[Cheddar Stacker]

I've heard stories about an annual fraternity party in my city the fellas have labeled the "Depends Party". No one has to get up to use the bathroom all night.

Disgustingly lazy.

I've done many exceedingly lazy (efficient) things in my life, but I'm struggling to recall any really good ones. Might be back later with more.

[serpentstooth]

Also, to prove I haven't changed since childhood. Babytooth sleeps in our room and needs two bottles overnight. Rather than getting out of bed and walking across the apartment to retrieve the bottles at 2 and 5 am, I bought a $20 micro fridge off Craigslist and stuck it on my nightstand. I can now get the baby a bottle without getting out of bed and it's awesome.

That's not laziness, that's survival!  I learned to change a diaper while still lying in bed, because if I stood up and moved around I couldn't get back to sleep.  If I stayed in bed, I could feed and change baby while still in a dreamy haze and get right back to sleep.  Sleep is vital.

I no longer change diapers in bed after the last unfortunate bed-peeing incident. But Babytooth now can feed herself, so I just grab the bottle and hand it to her and go back to sleep. It rocks.

[BTDretire]

I've left the clock in my car unchanged after daylight savings, and left it so long that it was finally correct again after daylight savings ended.

 I'm in that mode now, well, plus three minutes ahead. Spring is just ahead.
Hakuna Matata!

[JZinCO]

I prefer the term efficient. I am very efficient.

Once, as i pulled into the driveway after coming home from work, i rolled down my window, grabbed the handle of the big garbage can (big ones with wheels, provided by waste company) and proceed to drive down my driveway as it rolled beside my car. A passerby honked and gave me a thumbs up. One of the proudest lazy moments in my life. I couldnt be bothered to walk a 100ft round trip to retrieve the garbage can.

I am a problem solver. It is what i do.

haha! My parents have a long driveway (out in the sticks). I lived with them (as an adult) for a month and each time I came home on garbage day, I would load the trashcan into the bed of my pickup then drive to the garage and unload the trash can.

[Bolshevik Artizan]

It has to be car-related, doesn't it? I have seen people drive 100 yards to the grocery store for 2/3 items when they have forgotten something. I do think car use makes you lazy and gross - the number of animals I see eviscerated by cars here in Toronto, you do sometimes think people don't care that much if they run something over. BA

[Shinplaster]

I saw a documentary about the British royal family last year.  The former butler told a story about Prince Charles missing his garbage pail when he threw some paper away.  The crumpled paper landed beside the basket, not in it.  So a butler was called to pick up the paper, and put it in the basket, because P. C. was too lazy to bend down and pick it up himself.   God help the British empire when the Queen dies.

And I also don't change my clock in the car for daylight savings, because I'd have to haul the manual out to figure out how to do it.  Spring is coming, and it will take care of itself then.

[AZDude]

It has to be car-related, doesn't it? I have seen people drive 100 yards to the grocery store for 2/3 items when they have forgotten something. I do think car use makes you lazy and gross - the number of animals I see eviscerated by cars here in Toronto, you do sometimes think people don't care that much if they run something over. BA

Former neighbor would get in his car and drive 200 feet to the mailbox, get out and get the mail, and then drive back.

[Pooplips]

I used to cut my parents grass at such an angle that the uncut grass couldn't be seen from the windows that were normally open.

I dont know whats lazier, the fact that I cut the grass that way to shave a 1/2 hour, or, that my parents never touched a blind or walked around the house to notice the foot tall grass.

[I'm a red panda]

It bugs me when people stand rather than walk on the moving sidewalks at airports. It would be one thing if this were still 1985 and nobody had wheeled luggage. Get your fat ass moving.

I do usually try to walk; but often I have arthritis flare ups that make walking exceedingly painful. Being able to stand on a moving walk way is the only way I can make it through many airports without breaking down into tears.


I've called my husband in from the other room to "give me a kiss before bed" after I finished reading for the night, because I was too lazy/cozy in bed to get up and turn the light off. 

[Cougar]

 I am currently down to one remote for the two tv's in the house because i dropped the other one between the crack between the refrigerator and the cabinet and rather than spend the slight effort to pull the refrigerator out and get it i decided it was easier just to carry the remote from room to room.

(fyi, i just did this last night and will most likely fish it out tonight or tomorrow, but that's pretty dam lazy of me imo).

[elaine amj]

Also, to prove I haven't changed since childhood. Babytooth sleeps in our room and needs two bottles overnight. Rather than getting out of bed and walking across the apartment to retrieve the bottles at 2 and 5 am, I bought a $20 micro fridge off Craigslist and stuck it on my nightstand. I can now get the baby a bottle without getting out of bed and it's awesome.

LOL! I decided my daughter could jolly well learn to drink room temp formula. So I had powdered formula (pre-measured in an awesome little container). Before going to bed, I'd fill the bottle with the correct amount of water. In the middle of the night, all I would have to do was dump the powder into the bottle, shake it up, and hand it over. (my DD was between 10 and 18 months old at this point so not sure if I would have done it differently for a younger baby. Probably not though LOL!)

[serpentstooth]

Also, to prove I haven't changed since childhood. Babytooth sleeps in our room and needs two bottles overnight. Rather than getting out of bed and walking across the apartment to retrieve the bottles at 2 and 5 am, I bought a $20 micro fridge off Craigslist and stuck it on my nightstand. I can now get the baby a bottle without getting out of bed and it's awesome.

LOL! I decided my daughter could jolly well learn to drink room temp formula. So I had powdered formula (pre-measured in an awesome little container). Before going to bed, I'd fill the bottle with the correct amount of water. In the middle of the night, all I would have to do was dump the powder into the bottle, shake it up, and hand it over. (my DD was between 10 and 18 months old at this point so not sure if I would have done it differently for a younger baby. Probably not though LOL!)

My daughter drinks all temperatures of formula, thankfully. I've done mixing up formula on the bedside before, but my vision is poor and I'm clumsy, and I kept accidentally spilling powder.

Now I just need to train the baby to open the fridge herself and I'll really be in business.

[trailrated]

Also, to prove I haven't changed since childhood. Babytooth sleeps in our room and needs two bottles overnight. Rather than getting out of bed and walking across the apartment to retrieve the bottles at 2 and 5 am, I bought a $20 micro fridge off Craigslist and stuck it on my nightstand. I can now get the baby a bottle without getting out of bed and it's awesome.

LOL! I decided my daughter could jolly well learn to drink room temp formula. So I had powdered formula (pre-measured in an awesome little container). Before going to bed, I'd fill the bottle with the correct amount of water. In the middle of the night, all I would have to do was dump the powder into the bottle, shake it up, and hand it over. (my DD was between 10 and 18 months old at this point so not sure if I would have done it differently for a younger baby. Probably not though LOL!)

My daughter drinks all temperatures of formula, thankfully. I've done mixing up formula on the bedside before, but my vision is poor and I'm clumsy, and I kept accidentally spilling powder.

Now I just need to train the baby to open the fridge herself and I'll really be in business.

Problem solved, you're welcome. ;)

[TheMCP]

Instead of putting something in the microwave for 3:30... just put it in for 3:33

[YogiKitti]

I've called my husband in from the other room to "give me a kiss before bed" after I finished reading for the night, because I was too lazy/cozy in bed to get up and turn the light off.

http://smile.amazon.com/Etekcity-Electrical-Household-Appliances-Christmas/dp/B0087EIDRS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1449282225&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=remote+outlet&psc=1

I have this and I highly recommend it. I have a remote by the bedroom door and a remote on my nightstand.

[The Guru]

Once in college, a couple of friends and I were hanging out, drinking screwdrivers made w/ Tang instead of actual OJ. After a few hours of drinking while we got tired of running to get water to mix up the Tang- so we just dissolved it directly in the vodka.

[MonkeyJenga]

Didn't have clean underwear, didn't want to do laundry. Wore bathing suit. For three days.

Multiple instances of calling The Man in from another room so he can turn a light off or bring me water.

Home from work sick, couldn't find a remote, watched 27 Dresses on repeat while hating the insipid movie.

I went through college without ever really doing dishes. I had 1 bowl, 1 fork, 1 spoon, and 1 water bottle. I figured there was no point in cleaning the bowl if I'm only going to put more food in it the next day. (In my defense, I was eating things like plain pasta that didn't leave much of a residue.)

[10YearGoal]

I was in my 20's living in a group house with 5 other people who all knew each other but I got in through a connection and didn't know any of them. They were sort of cliquish and basically ignored me until one morning 2 of them over heard me calling in "tired" to a paid internship I had at a women's rights organization. They looked at each other in wonder as I slammed down the phone and shouted "fascists!" because my supervisor had the nerve to call me out on my lameassity. My supervisor then called ME back to apologize for her response, and the deal was sealed, official group house rock star status earned. I remain good friends with those two and we still laugh hard over it 25 years later.

[TomTX]

Instead of putting something in the microwave for 3:30... just put it in for 3:33

That's just efficient. I do that every day!

[hybrid]

Oh, this is easy, and I see it all the time. Fatmobiles. When I see obese but otherwise healthy people ooze into one of these carts to drive themselves around a grocery store to get their Pringles and Coca-Cola, it is jaw-dropping.