Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.

[rmorris50]

You do not need to know the witnesses.  It's okay to use staff at the attorney's office.

Yeah this lawyer is a one person show out of her home. Maybe she still know people.


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[Britan]

Ok so my official list:
1. Get life insurance for the both of us
1.a Get quotes
1.b Decide which to go with
1.c Do all the paperwork and exams, etc.
1.d Have life insurance

2. Get wills written and officialized
2.a Talk to parents about designation as guardians and executors
2.b Talk to siblings about being backup-to-the-backup guardians and executors
New step: talk to friend about being short term pet guardian and finder of new homes
New step: pick local temp guardians and talk to them
New step: Just make basic free will DIY to have one
2.c Ask local lawyer about cost to draft a will and set up trust
2.d Decide whether to do it on legal zoom or via a lawyer
2.e Draft will
2.f ???
2.g Will is official and done

3. (Optional) Living will, POA, and desires for burial etc.
This isn’t strictly necessary, though I know we both have some thoughts in this area. DH more strongly than I. So it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get them in writing, though we’ve had discussions about them before.

4. Double check beneficiaries on all accounts. Pretty sure this is done though.

Got a few things done today. Things are moving, this is good.

Niiiice item 1 is DONE. And item 4. Now just the will. That’s in the works. I just have to pay the $ to the lawyer and fill out their forms to get the convo started.

[stoaX]

Mrs StoaX and I have our "shit together" except for 2 things:
We gotta pare down the complexity of our finances so someone else can understand it if necessary, and get a friend or family member on board to handle things if neither of us can do it.

[Sailor Sam]

UPDATE. So close. All I need to do is mail the quick-start guides to a couple people.

• Find lawyer to do Will, and Powers of Attorney
• Meet with lawyer
• Do what lawyer says to establish trust for minor children & guardianship for Tiny Dog
• Sign Will & POA
• Update SGLI beneficiary to Tiny Dog guardian
• Update USAA Pay on Death to Executor
• Update Vanguard, SGLI, Betterment, TSP beneficiary to trust for minor children
• Provide Will, POA, and quick start document to executor and guardians

I've added a few things:

• Finalize Evacuate(!) Bag - food cubes, paracord, wool socks, underwear, shoes, towel, packing cubes(?), vital documents
• Gather Get Home Now(!) Bag - hat, gloves, wool socks, shoes, tarp, mylar blanket, water filtration, food.

[stoaX]

Hope this will inspire me. My father is now in a nursing home and sorting out his stuff has been pretty draining. We need new wills as our children are no longer minors. Plan to do powers of attorney for each other, with our daughter as back up. And remember those vital records - they wanted a copy of my parents divorce decree as part of his Medicaid application process- and I was able to produce a copy right away.

Your post points out an interesting nuance:. In addition to getting your shit together, you gotta keep it together by updating things as circumstances change.

[tygertygertyger]

This is a great thread. My partner and I have been together for ten years, and I've been bugging him just to add beneficiaries to his investment accounts for like 4 years. Now that we just bought a house, I REALLY want us to get our shit together.

-ADD beneficiaries to investment accounts! (mostly him, but I'd better double check mine)
-Wills
-POAs
-maybe term life insurance policies... we don't have kids, but maybe enough to cover the house if something happens to one of us. Will think on this.

Have decided against term life insurance - our house is cheap enough that if need be, my partner could pay it off from our combined assets.

I reminded him yesterday (after I was reminded by this thread!) that he still needs to add beneficiaries to his accounts. He nodded at me, and opened his computer with purpose and began tapping the keys. I was surprised and wondered if he was going to start immediately, so I look over his shoulder and see that he has opened Twitter. Sigh. I will accomplish this task this year.

I also signed up for our company's Legal Plan and opened up the option to create the will, POA, etc. I've seen other people on the forum mention receiving a packet in the mail to fill out. But mine offered me two options: meet with someone in person, or fill out an online form and "Protect your Loved Ones in 15 Minutes"... so... I guess I'll try out the 15 minute version.

I am making my brother the executor of my will (he's a lawyer so he's used to the bureaucracy and doesn't mind phone calls. I should let him know though.) The piece that's got me paused now is deciding who is the best person to make decisions if I'm incapacitated. My partner would be fine, but he has some genetic hearing loss that impacts him when talking on the phone, so I want to think it through.

[FrugalShrew]

I have been off the forums for a long time & just started lurking again the last few days. I was debating whether or not to jump back in, but this gauntlet really spoke to me. Getting my own affairs in order & my parents as well has been on my mind a lot lately. I have been making baby steps towards it, but it's time to really buckle down!

My first order of business has been to add or confirm beneficiaries on all my accounts, which are most of my assets. I have actually already been working on that the last few weeks. Recently I added beneficiaries to my brokerage account. I was also working on finalizing the form for beneficiaries for basic life insurance at work, which they just automatically enrolled me, but then I did some digging & realized I could waive that coverage (and save the small deduction from each paycheck)--so that's done.

Once I finish adding beneficiaries, I need to update my will and figure out the medical stuff as well. And then turn to my parents...but one step at a time.

[Roadrunner53]

We made out our Will in 1991. Since then both sets of parents have passed away. I am an only child and have no close relatives. Mr. Roadrunner has 2 sisters and one brother. One sister and one brother are estranged to us for years. We have not seen or spoken to them. As usual a stupid family squabble. Both are a bit 'off' and wouldn't leave them any money even if we were on speaking terms. One sister is pretty normal but doesn't need any money. She has gotten several inheritances over the last few years. Both she and her hub have well paying jobs and a huge house. She has a Mercedes. In our old will we left the two sisters and one brother a token amount and the rest was going to go to animal welfare. I would still like to do that but now would like the siblings off the will and no token amount given. It is really weird to give everything to a charity but I feel strong about it. Who knows if we will even have two cents left to give to animal welfare when the time comes. We have no children either.

Is anyone else here in the same boat with donating what they have to charity? Mr. Roadrunner has been after me for about 8 years to update our will and he has no answers on anything but does want his brother and sisters off.

When we did the Will, we had this nice lady attorney and she died a few years ago. Her son has taken over the practice and he is not my cup of tea. I asked for some help when my Mom died and I was doing the probate. I wanted his help with a few questions and of course would pay him and he never called me back. So, this jerk if off my list and will be looking for someone else.

There is just something about this whole thing that bugs me! Gotta get it done soon or Mr. Roadrunner is going to loose it!

[marion10]

I don't think it is that odd to leave everything to charity. I know of two people (single, no kids) who left their estates to our church, for example.

[AO1FireTo]

Apologies if this has been asked before, I haven't read through all of this thread.  Is anyone using a company to act as an executor for their will?  I have my brother at the moment, but I realize it's a lot of work and I'd rather pay someone.

Pros/Cons?

Reade

[oneday]

Joining! This Friday will be the initial appointment with the attorney, so we'll see what comes out of that. Have not given this whole process much thought, really. Hoping the meeting will jump start everything.

[rmorris50]

Apologies if this has been asked before, I haven't read through all of this thread.  Is anyone using a company to act as an executor for their will?  I have my brother at the moment, but I realize it's a lot of work and I'd rather pay someone.

Pros/Cons?

Reade

I haven’t but did contemplate it. And if I remember I thought my lawyer really just pointed to the ongoing, annual cost as the major con. But ask your lawyer.

We also are leaving all residual assets without a specified beneficiary to charity. That way we really don’t have to worry about updating the wills (unless you want to change the charity). Most of our assets are financial assets with beneficiaries and those are very easy to update when needed. Also, we thought this approach would lead to less possible wrangling of the will. However, the lawyer did put a clause in the will saying whoever contests it is “dead to us” and gets nothing from the estate.

Our approach does mean we have to be vigilant about keeping beneficiaries up to date, which we are.


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[pdxvandal]

Working on my first official will/trust and hope to have it done in the next few weeks. I did it through my employer's EAP and it has been a slog as I started the process in January and the assigned lawyer is a bit flaky (which isn't unusual in my dealings with lawyers). I'm only paying $750, but want to wrap it up ASAP.

[oneday]

@pdxvandal sorry you got the flaky lawyer. Best of luck to you getting you will wrapped up pronto.

[Turtle]

This is a great thread. My partner and I have been together for ten years, and I've been bugging him just to add beneficiaries to his investment accounts for like 4 years. Now that we just bought a house, I REALLY want us to get our shit together.

-ADD beneficiaries to investment accounts! (mostly him, but I'd better double check mine)
-Wills
-POAs
-maybe term life insurance policies... we don't have kids, but maybe enough to cover the house if something happens to one of us. Will think on this.

Have decided against term life insurance - our house is cheap enough that if need be, my partner could pay it off from our combined assets.

I reminded him yesterday (after I was reminded by this thread!) that he still needs to add beneficiaries to his accounts. He nodded at me, and opened his computer with purpose and began tapping the keys. I was surprised and wondered if he was going to start immediately, so I look over his shoulder and see that he has opened Twitter. Sigh. I will accomplish this task this year.

I also signed up for our company's Legal Plan and opened up the option to create the will, POA, etc. I've seen other people on the forum mention receiving a packet in the mail to fill out. But mine offered me two options: meet with someone in person, or fill out an online form and "Protect your Loved Ones in 15 Minutes"... so... I guess I'll try out the 15 minute version.

I am making my brother the executor of my will (he's a lawyer so he's used to the bureaucracy and doesn't mind phone calls. I should let him know though.) The piece that's got me paused now is deciding who is the best person to make decisions if I'm incapacitated. My partner would be fine, but he has some genetic hearing loss that impacts him when talking on the phone, so I want to think it through.

My "meet with someone in person" for my corporate benefit was more of a pick the best rated local person, call them, get a packet in the mail from them to fill out, send it & do a quick Zoom to be certain they understood everything that was on there, and then they drew everything up.

The only in person thing was to go over the drawn up paperwork and sign.

[jfer_rose]

I'm joining the gauntlet but right now I'm in planning mode rather than action mode. I would like to move toward action mode once I get a better idea of what my wishes actually are.

Does anyone have any recommended resources or wisdom for deciding who to leave assets to? Especially resources that could be at least a bit relevant to my situation. I'm also interested in resources for reading about what the various options are for healthcare directives, etc., so I can decide what I want to do for that. I would like to have a better idea of my wishes before I engage a lawyer. Because as it stands right now I think I could waste a lot of a lawyer's time thinking this through and that could be expensive.

My situation is as follows:

• No children.
• No living parents.
• Long term (six years) live-in significant other but unmarried. How do people decide when it make sense to be each other's beneficiaries outside of marriage?
• MANY siblings. So many that I was unable to add them as beneficiaries to some of my financial accounts because the number of beneficiaries was larger than they support. Also relevant: there is a large age gap between myself and my siblings so I'm statistically likely to outlive them. However, if I die before them I would love to leave them money.
• Huge quantity of nieces, nephews, great nieces, and great nephews. Struggling to figure out what I want to do for them. Or how to divide my money between my siblings and my siblings kids/grandkids

[tygertygertyger]

I'm joining the gauntlet but right now I'm in planning mode rather than action mode. I would like to move toward action mode once I get a better idea of what my wishes actually are.

Does anyone have any recommended resources or wisdom for deciding who to leave assets to? Especially resources that could be at least a bit relevant to my situation. I'm also interested in resources for reading about what the various options are for healthcare directives, etc., so I can decide what I want to do for that. I would like to have a better idea of my wishes before I engage a lawyer. Because as it stands right now I think I could waste a lot of a lawyer's time thinking this through and that could be expensive.

My situation is as follows:

• No children.
• No living parents.
• Long term (six years) live-in significant other but unmarried. How do people decide when it make sense to be each other's beneficiaries outside of marriage?
• MANY siblings. So many that I was unable to add them as beneficiaries to some of my financial accounts because the number of beneficiaries was larger than they support. Also relevant: there is a large age gap between myself and my siblings so I'm statistically likely to outlive them. However, if I die before them I would love to leave them money.
• Huge quantity of nieces, nephews, great nieces, and great nephews. Struggling to figure out what I want to do for them. Or how to divide my money between my siblings and my siblings kids/grandkids

These are the same questions I've been thinking over. I have a long-term SO (unmarried) too, and each of us has a variety of nieces and nephews. My SO and I don't pool finances, but we do own a house together and have our own system for paying bills.

I am planning to split my regular investment account between all my nephews. I've told my partner that I want to leave some money to my friend's kids, and I will put that in my will. Currently, my SO is getting 50% and the other 50% goes to my mom/brothers. I might be changing that to leave my SO more. Most of my funds will be directed through account beneficiaries rather than a will.

My SO plans to leave some of his money to his nephew and niece, and I'm not sure if he plans to leave me the rest, but probably. It's his money, and it's up to him how he wants to leave it. (Though I want both of us to leave something for the other, because it would be difficult to start paying the mortgage otherwise for whoever is left.)

However, my bigger issue is more deciding who would be the best for an executor or getting Power of Attorney or POA for medical decisions. My SO despises phone calls and bureaucracy, so I decided that my brother would be the best executor. (My SO knows this, but I still need to tell my brother!)

I think my partner would be okay for POA in medical cases, but he does seem slightly alarmed when I ask him pointed questions about potential situations, so I am delaying while I continue to think about it. He certainly expects to go first, but it's important to make the plan in advance because I know it may go another way.   

[jfer_rose]

Thank you @tygertygertyger for sharing your thoughts! I find it incredibly helpful to hear how others are thinking through this and how they are handling it. I like your approach of 50% to SO and 50% to other loved ones.

I forgot to mention that my partner and I also keep our finances completely separate (we have a system for how to divide up shared costs).

And gah! I can't believe I forgot I also have to decide on executor and POA, etc. Which brings up another question I have. I live in a different state than most of my loved ones. Would being in a different state make it difficult for someone to be POA/Executor or the like? I have two sisters who served as executors for loved ones' estates and I recall them making a lot of in-person visits to banks, etc-- I'm wondering if that could have been handled remotely instead?

[Dicey]

DH and I have scheduled a mini getaway to force ourselves to review our estate plans. Posting so I can find this thread later.

[Ysera]

I also need to get my sh!t together. I will follow up on this when hubby gets back to town soon.

[iris lily]

I'm joining the gauntlet but right now I'm in planning mode rather than action mode. I would like to move toward action mode once I get a better idea of what my wishes actually are.

Does anyone have any recommended resources or wisdom for deciding who to leave assets to? Especially resources that could be at least a bit relevant to my situation. I'm also interested in resources for reading about what the various options are for healthcare directives, etc., so I can decide what I want to do for that. I would like to have a better idea of my wishes before I engage a lawyer. Because as it stands right now I think I could waste a lot of a lawyer's time thinking this through and that could be expensive.

My situation is as follows:

• No children.
• No living parents.
• Long term (six years) live-in significant other but unmarried. How do people decide when it make sense to be each other's beneficiaries outside of marriage?
• MANY siblings. So many that I was unable to add them as beneficiaries to some of my financial accounts because the number of beneficiaries was larger than they support. Also relevant: there is a large age gap between myself and my siblings so I'm statistically likely to outlive them. However, if I die before them I would love to leave them money.
• Huge quantity of nieces, nephews, great nieces, and great nephews. Struggling to figure out what I want to do for them. Or how to divide my money between my siblings and my siblings kids/grandkids

We finally got around to just getting the will and trust done 5–6 years ago because I thought it was more important to get it DONE then to have the perfect vehicle. With that in place, I’ve been rethinking what to do. We also do not have children.

We have nice assets but when we die I don’t think we’ll have that much because I’m spending the money now and also end of life care costs a lot of money.

That said, here’s what we did 5 years ago:

Divided our estate into 11 equal portions. 7  of those portions go to our siblings and 2 friends, and it is equally given to DH’s siblings and my sibling. 4 of those portions go to organizations we like, are involved in, and regularly contribute to.

If we died today, they would all get a nice chunk of money. But I think by the time we are dead it will be more along the lines of “here’s a little bit of money and we were thinking of you.”

I already want to change though. I don’t want to change the organizations, but I’m rethinking at least one of the friends and then I’m not so sure that my siblings should really get a ton of money. In an ideal world I would much rather the money just go to all of the organizations we like and support.

But then there’s a sticky wicket of asking someone to administer our esstate if they’re not a beneficiary. I mean I know that they can earn money doing it and I would absolutely encourage anyone going through that work to take the money. But I have a feeling that the people we’ve named as administrators  won’t take their fees. I guess I want to give a directive to them, they need to take their fees, I WANT them to take their fees!!!

[Bateaux]

No minor children.  Ain't my problem.  Let them fight.

[oneday]

My situation is as follows:

• No children.
• No living parents.
• Long term (six years) live-in significant other but unmarried. How do people decide when it make sense to be each other's beneficiaries outside of marriage?
• MANY siblings. So many that I was unable to add them as beneficiaries to some of my financial accounts because the number of beneficiaries was larger than they support. Also relevant: there is a large age gap between myself and my siblings so I'm statistically likely to outlive them. However, if I die before them I would love to leave them money.
• Huge quantity of nieces, nephews, great nieces, and great nephews. Struggling to figure out what I want to do for them. Or how to divide my money between my siblings and my siblings kids/grandkids

We finally got around to just getting the will and trust done 5–6 years ago because I thought it was more important to get it DONE then to have the perfect vehicle. With that in place, I’ve been rethinking what to do. We also do not have children.

I am coming around to think like Iris Lily. Also no children.

First priority is giving a possibly life-changing amount to Mom & Sis. If they split what I have now, they could each buy about half a house (in their current locations). This would be a great comfort to Mom who has a home loan but is living on a fixed income with little savings. She could likely eliminate the loan. And Sis would almost certainly buy a home, and be able to afford payments on the remainder since she's still working. If I don't need the stash to support me, then I'd really like to make their lives easier and more secure.

For a while, was thinking about also leaving college funds to the nieces and nephews. But how much? I don't want to deplete the estate putting them through college, and thereby pass up the opportunity to give what I can to my two closest people.

At the same time, which nieces and nephews? FTR, I don't technically have any; these kids are the children of my cousins. There are 5 who I see regularly and two more who I've spent some time with and find charming. There are 7 more who I barely know; however I know their parents quite well, even if I am not as close to them as my other cousins. So, what...like 14 x $5K? $10K? Not more than that, as it starts to materially affect how much Mom & Sis get. So what if I just say $xxx to be divided equally among the living offspring of these 9 people on the date of my death? Will it even amount to anything worthwhile by the time they are college age? What if they don't go to college? Who will administer these funds, to be sure they are spent on tuition? What if the 9 cousins (plus Sis) have more kids later on, do they just get shafted?

And then...what about my cousins on my MOM's side? Fewer in number, less prolific, and I am less close to them. But still...

So. For now, Mom & Sis will split it and as the stash grows I can make other decisions and amend the trust. The oldest will hit college in 5 years, a lot could change by then...

[iris lily]

My situation is as follows:

• No children.
• No living parents.
• Long term (six years) live-in significant other but unmarried. How do people decide when it make sense to be each other's beneficiaries outside of marriage?
• MANY siblings. So many that I was unable to add them as beneficiaries to some of my financial accounts because the number of beneficiaries was larger than they support. Also relevant: there is a large age gap between myself and my siblings so I'm statistically likely to outlive them. However, if I die before them I would love to leave them money.
• Huge quantity of nieces, nephews, great nieces, and great nephews. Struggling to figure out what I want to do for them. Or how to divide my money between my siblings and my siblings kids/grandkids

We finally got around to just getting the will and trust done 5–6 years ago because I thought it was more important to get it DONE then to have the perfect vehicle. With that in place, I’ve been rethinking what to do. We also do not have children.

I am coming around to think like Iris Lily. Also no children.

First priority is giving a possibly life-changing amount to Mom & Sis. If they split what I have now, they could each buy about half a house (in their current locations). This would be a great comfort to Mom who has a home loan but is living on a fixed income with little savings. She could likely eliminate the loan. And Sis would almost certainly buy a home, and be able to afford payments on the remainder since she's still working. If I don't need the stash to support me, then I'd really like to make their lives easier and more secure.

For a while, was thinking about also leaving college funds to the nieces and nephews. But how much? I don't want to deplete the estate putting them through college, and thereby pass up the opportunity to give what I can to my two closest people.

At the same time, which nieces and nephews? FTR, I don't technically have any; these kids are the children of my cousins. There are 5 who I see regularly and two more who I've spent some time with and find charming. There are 7 more who I barely know; however I know their parents quite well, even if I am not as close to them as my other cousins. So, what...like 14 x $5K? $10K? Not more than that, as it starts to materially affect how much Mom & Sis get. So what if I just say $xxx to be divided equally among the living offspring of these 9 people on the date of my death? Will it even amount to anything worthwhile by the time they are college age? What if they don't go to college? Who will administer these funds, to be sure they are spent on tuition? What if the 9 cousins (plus Sis) have more kids later on, do they just get shafted?

And then...what about my cousins on my MOM's side? Fewer in number, less prolific, and I am less close to them. But still...

So. For now, Mom & Sis will split it and as the stash grows I can make other decisions and amend the trust. The oldest will hit college in 5 years, a lot could change by then...

What makes our life easy is that every one of our siblings are doing fine financially. And their kids…MANY are doing super fine (engineers and physicians.)

I do not have nieces or nephews on my side, just one child of a cousin I am  close to. And that girl will inherit millions, I am not joking. There is no reason for me to think about her in estate planning.

[oneday]

Ah, see most of my family is lower-middle class, the demographic in which I grew up. There's a lot of programs out there that exclude this income bracket as being too high to get any aid, especially when it came to college, IME. Which is why I wanted to help the kids out, but it's so complicated!!! For the moment, I'm gambling that I'll still be around when that time comes and can decide to make gifts based on current factors, not try to figure it all out ahead of time/now.

[PMG]

Posting to join.

We just had a baby and need to have our ducks in a row just in case.  I called an attorney to jumpstart things but had an odd and unprofessional conversation with whoever answered the phone! So we’ll see how that goes. 

We both have our beneficiaries set up to be the other and I created an “in case of emergency” document a couple years ago that I keep fairly up to date.  I’ve showed it to my spouse numerous times and I think he’d find it eventually.


Things to do:
1. Will
2. Poa?
3. Life insurance. Do we want some? We have little debt but also not FI.

[Happy Little Chipmunk]

Ah, see most of my family is lower-middle class, the demographic in which I grew up. There's a lot of programs out there that exclude this income bracket as being too high to get any aid, especially when it came to college, IME. Which is why I wanted to help the kids out, but it's so complicated!!! For the moment, I'm gambling that I'll still be around when that time comes and can decide to make gifts based on current factors, not try to figure it all out ahead of time/now.

What a great thread. PTF and also to say that one of my aunts (no kids of her own) has found a way to give to a plethora of nieces/nephews/grandnieces/grandnephews AND to forge more meaningful relationships with the brood while she is breathing on the planet. This won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but maybe it will inspire you and help find the right thing for your family.

My aunt reimburses books and some supply expenses (up to some unknown $ amount) for her college-attending relatives. She has never felt tested or taken advantage of, so has never announced the limit. The only catch is, the young folk need to tell her what they are up to with classes and how much they have spent for the term. Everyone gets to share some stories and feel like family (which, given all the divorces/politics/occasional questionable choices/what-have-you) is actually saying quite a lot. Older siblings encourage the younger ones to “go talk to Auntie R!”

It’s probable that all those relatives won’t get large slices of money pie when my aunt passes, but they are getting clued into family lore & stories. And they are being supported and told that they matter during a time of life when things can be pretty turbulent. It’s a nice thing.

[oneday]

Thank you, @Happy Little Chipmunk  that is an excellent way to do it! I will remember this in 5 years when the oldest is "of age" :)

[oneday]

Smallest update ever: sent email to the lawyer requesting a meeting. The decisions are made, just need to communicate them to the lawyer, maybe talk about ramifications a bit.

[Fru-Gal]

PTF

[Car Jack]

Saw the lawyer today.

Got things going for the will, POAs, Health Care Proxys, Homestead for house and a few other things.

The thing we want to do is to give our kids the assets BUT (that's a big but), do it in a periodic way.  Both have proven to us that any amount of money given to them all at once will be gone in weeks.  So a Revokable trust is what we're setting up.  It isn't funded until the both of us are gone.  We can give whatever we want....either percentage or dollar amount any period we want.  So if we want each to get $500 a month, it does that.  We can also give all that remains at an age (like 50, if we want). 

We don't need life insurance.  Attorney did make it clear that we did a really good job saving which DW needed to hear.

Still need to write down details and choose personal representative and trustee. 

[oneday]

Way to go @Car Jack . Sounds like you are really close to done.

[Dicey]

I attended a seminar put on by an Estate Attorney I know via our library. I'm attending another this week courtesy of Zoom. I'm counting them as doing...er, something responsible.

[oneday]

It counts! That's how I started (seminar on the topic w/ attorneys) (way back in May).

Onward!

[oneday]

Smallest update ever: sent email to the lawyer requesting a meeting. The decisions are made, just need to communicate them to the lawyer, maybe talk about ramifications a bit.

Update: almost done! Trust doc is in place, most assets have been re-titled or beneficiaries amended. Waiting on 2 institutions to do their part & have that show up in the online accounts, but anticipate not problems (just the wait).

Need to change the i-bond registration with Treasury Direct. Not looking forward to dealing with the government. [sigh] At least the amount is relatively small potatoes.


Anyone else done/almost done/in process/getting started on their estate plan?

[Fru-Gal]

No but I do need to do this. It may be an unpopular choice but am thinking of just doing online reputable service vs. lawyers. Our estate is just the house/contents, (very old car) and the savings. AFAIK we are under an amount that would trigger complexities. And in any case doing it this way with willmaker or whatever is better than nothing, right?

A few years ago I did consult with a lawyer who pointed some stuff out which is now moot as one child is an adult and the other very close to it.

So the other thing was doing TOD for the house title to the kids, I think.

All this possibly in lieu of a trust at the moment because from what I can tell under a certain amount of money and with TOD for all accounts you don’t really need it?

[oneday]

IANAL! But here's some info to get you started:

In the cover letter of my trust, the lawyer writes, "assuming your trust is fully funded and no more than $184,500 of your assets are outside of the trust...your heirs should be able to avoid probate altogether."

So that $184K number is pretty low. Not sure if a state* limit of some kind? But if there's more than that, it implies that the estate needs to be probated.

I *think* the difference between a POD and a trust is that even with the POD, if the estate is over the limit, it goes through probate (read: red tape and public record). Again, IANAL, this is my layperson impression. The cover letter also says that probate is costly. Something to look into.

Trust contains real estate & other assets. Non-trust assets are insurance and retirement accounts, which name the trust as primary (insurance) or secondary (retirement) beneficiary.

I will say, when Dad died, his insurance paid out to Sis & I fairly promptly, and we didn't do anything through the courts, aside from obtaining a copy of the death certificate.

EDIT: the lawyer said not to put the car in the trust. It is considered personal property. Lawyer set up a "pour-over will" which gives the "residue" of my estate, including personal property**, to the trust/trustee to distribute.


*California, for anyone reading who may not know

** "such as jewelry, clothing, household furniture and furnishings, automobiles, books, objects of art [etc]"

[Fru-Gal]

Ah thanks for that! Well part of what is informing this opinion is in my parent’s death, all the TOD and joint accounts just went over to the other parent. Then they redid the trust they had with just that parent, which had no bearing for them and is more for eventually passing real estate and money to us, the kids.

But I will look into it because that is a low number. I was under the impression — and based on my parent’s recent experience — that the state really doesn’t know what all you have unless you die and no one is there to either joint own the account or be the transfer-on-death beneficiary. Without that, then yes, it goes to probate. But IANAL either! Thanks and way to go!

[oneday]

Ah thanks for that! Well part of what is informing this opinion is in my parent’s death, all the TOD and joint accounts just went over to the other parent. Then they redid the trust they had with just that parent, which had no bearing for them and is more for eventually passing real estate and money to us, the kids.

But I will look into it because that is a low number. I was under the impression — and based on my parent’s recent experience — that the state really doesn’t know what all you have unless you die and no one is there to either joint own the account or be the transfer-on-death beneficiary. Without that, then yes, it goes to probate. But IANAL either! Thanks and way to go!

It might be different between spouses than between parents & children, since CA is a community property state. I have neither spouse nor children, so wanted to be sure things went the go the way I want them to. Your circumstances are different, so your solution will be different, too.

No, the state doesn't automatically know what you have when you die. But during probate, all that info is supposed to be provided to the court by the executor, and then ??? IDK what happens then, lol.

[Omy]

PTF so it will be a regular reminder to tackle this soon!

Thanks to OP for starting this thread. I'm embarrassed to say it took 5 years to start the process, but having this constant reminder (and all of the helpful hints) was instrumental in moving us along.

We also went to a free fancy dinner where we were told lots of horror stories about not having a trust in place. That was the kick in the rear end that we really needed.

[iluvzbeach]

PTF. We completed all of our docs about 8 years ago but are now looking to make changes. Posting as a reminder to come back and read the thread as I think it will give us some thought on things to consider.

[dandypandys]

I need to do all this stuff, oof

[DeniseNJ]

Do I really need a will?  I know everyone will scream YES but really?  Because I have two adult kids, that still live at home and a husband.  Won't just everything go to him?  I mean, my IRA and 401K, my life insurance, and the house.  That's pretty much it.  We are joint on the savings and checking accounts.

And if we die in a plane crash (I mean if a plane crashes into our living room since we never go anywhere) won't the kids just get everything?

[oneday]

You don't NEED a will, but without a will, your assets will be distributed according to state law. Do you know your state law in all the different scenarios, even beyond what you have listed? Are you OK with those? What if someone else pops up with a claim against your estate? IANAL and I don't live in NJ, but these are the types of questions you would want the answers to.

To me, a will (or trust) is a positive election that I want *this set* of people to receive *these assets*, rather than just letting my loved ones assume I was OK with whatever state law is, or each have a different interpretation of what my wishes might have been. I don't leave them with any guesswork about what I would have wanted and who I would have "remembered" in my will.

[Sandi_k]

Do I really need a will?  I know everyone will scream YES but really?  Because I have two adult kids, that still live at home and a husband.  Won't just everything go to him?  I mean, my IRA and 401K, my life insurance, and the house.  That's pretty much it.  We are joint on the savings and checking accounts.

And if we die in a plane crash (I mean if a plane crashes into our living room since we never go anywhere) won't the kids just get everything?

It depends on your state laws around dying intestate. For an idea of how that might not work the way you think it should, ChooseFI had a great interview:

https://www.choosefi.com/love-loss-and-money-the-shocking-financial-aftermath-of-a-fi-spouses-death-amy-ep-476/

[Poundwise]

Well, so I never got around to doing my will, etc.  I have a friend attorney who's willing to do this for a low cost/work barter.  But will the attorney necessarily have to find out how much in resources you have? This is knowledge I'd like to keep out of my social circle.

[Sandi_k]

Well, so I never got around to doing my will, etc.  I have a friend attorney who's willing to do this for a low cost/work barter.  But will the attorney necessarily have to find out how much in resources you have? This is knowledge I'd like to keep out of my social circle.

No. They prepare a deed for the real estate, to move it into the trust, assuming you own any. That gets notarized and filed with the county clerk.

Bank accounts - you take the trust documents to the bank, and move the funds into the trust, if you want to. (We have ours as Transfer on Death).

Car titles - take to AAA, and they can help you title your car in the trust.

At no time do you need to reveal amounts.

One note: do not make the trust your beneficiary on retirement accounts and life insurance; it complicates everything. Make sure you keep the beneficiaries on those accounts up-to-date.

[oneday]

Well, so I never got around to doing my will, etc.  I have a friend attorney who's willing to do this for a low cost/work barter.  But will the attorney necessarily have to find out how much in resources you have? This is knowledge I'd like to keep out of my social circle.

No. They prepare a deed for the real estate, to move it into the trust, assuming you own any. That gets notarized and filed with the county clerk.

Bank accounts - you take the trust documents to the bank, and move the funds into the trust, if you want to. (We have ours as Transfer on Death).

Car titles - take to AAA, and they can help you title your car in the trust.

At no time do you need to reveal amounts.

One note: do not make the trust your beneficiary on retirement accounts and life insurance; it complicates everything. Make sure you keep the beneficiaries on those accounts up-to-date.

My attorney advised to make my heirs the primary beneficiaries on life insurance & the trust as the secondary beneficiary (can't remember what I did with the retirement accounts). I think this is a fail-safe. Best to keep beneficiaries up to date.

[Dee18]

To DeniseNJ. I’m a retired attorney.  I had a trust for years, especially to be sure money for my child was handled as I wanted.  I’m old enough that I’ve dealt with some older relatives estates and learned that trusts can take a long time to settle. Now that my child is 27 and very responsible I did away with my Will and trust. Instead I have everything set up properly with beneficiaries and/or transfer on death.  In my state (and many others) this will permit the quickest distribution to my heirs and named charities.  It also makes it quick and easy for me to change things.  Every person’s situation is different; for me at this time I can choose the simpler, less expensive solution to achieve my goals.

[Poundwise]

Well, so I never got around to doing my will, etc.  I have a friend attorney who's willing to do this for a low cost/work barter.  But will the attorney necessarily have to find out how much in resources you have? This is knowledge I'd like to keep out of my social circle.

No. They prepare a deed for the real estate, to move it into the trust, assuming you own any. That gets notarized and filed with the county clerk.

Bank accounts - you take the trust documents to the bank, and move the funds into the trust, if you want to. (We have ours as Transfer on Death).

Car titles - take to AAA, and they can help you title your car in the trust.

At no time do you need to reveal amounts.

One note: do not make the trust your beneficiary on retirement accounts and life insurance; it complicates everything. Make sure you keep the beneficiaries on those accounts up-to-date.

That's good to know, thank you so much!