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General Discussion => Throw Down the Gauntlet => Topic started by: meerkat on November 13, 2017, 08:34:35 AM

Title: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: meerkat on November 13, 2017, 08:34:35 AM
Have you been thinking about getting a will but haven't gotten around to it? Or life insurance? Or naming a guardian for your child? This is the place for you!

Everyone's journey is going to be a little bit different so I'm going to leave this a more flexible challenge where you create your own specific goals, similar to the fitness thread. When you post, please let us know what stage of the game you're at and what you'd like to try to accomplish, even if that means "figure out what I need to accomplish".

Welcome!

Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: meerkat on November 13, 2017, 08:34:57 AM
[Under construction, feel free to leave post feedback]

FAQs/basic overview:

Will. This states who-gets-what when you die, names guardians, and specifies a trusted person to be in charge. A will (short for “last will and testament”) is a state-specific, legally binding document that says what happens to your money and property. Your will typically addresses the following issues:
Executor - ensures the instructions you left are followed appropriately.
Beneficiaries - lists who you want to receive your assets.
Guardians – designates care for your children or pets.
Investments/debt – lists how to distribute investments or pay for debts.

Living will. This is also called an advance healthcare directive. It states your end of life wishes for medical care that you do -- or don't -- want. This document goes by a few different names (advance healthcare directive, personal directive, advance directive, or advance decision), but no matter what you call it, it defines your wishes for end-of-life medical care. The living will frequently includes:
Whether or not to continue life support if you are legally brain dead, in an irreversible coma, or dying from terminal illness.
Medical procedures or treatments you do (or do not) want.
Pain management wishes.
Instructions for hospice care.

Power of attorney. This third document compliments the others in certain circumstances. Let’s imagine aren’t able to take care of things for yourself. POA designates one or more people who have the authority to make decisions for you. You can split up duties, such as having one person make medical decisions while another makes financial decisions. For example, you may want your nurse sister to make your medical decisions, and your accountant brother handling your financial ones. Here are example scenarios where a POA is vitally important:
You have had an accident and are unconscious.
You are suffering from a mental illness.
A parent is suffering from dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.

What’s the difference between a living will and a durable healthcare power of attorney? Both a living will and a durable healthcare power of attorney (POA) allow you to name someone you trust to make medical choices for you. A durable power of attorney for healthcare does not cover end-of life care. It names someone who can make all other health care decisions if you are unable to speak for yourself. This can happen during an illness or surgery.

For Washington state residents: https://www.washingtonlawhelp.org/issues/health/powers-of-attorney-health-care-directives

You may also want to make a letter of instruction, also known as a letter of intent (Investopedia (https://www.investopedia.com/articles/retirement/08/letter-of-instruction.asp)):
Quote
A good letter of instruction should contain the following information:
  • A complete list of all assets, both liquid and illiquid
  • The whereabouts of any and all tangible assets that are not readily accessible
  • The names, passwords, PIN numbers and account numbers of all liquid assets, including bank, brokerage, retirement and investment accounts.
  • The names and contact information of any bankers, brokers, attorneys or other professionals who handle your assets
  • Informal information regarding the dispersion of assets, such as who would get a sentimental possession or heirloom (the will may state that these articles are to be distributed according to the letter)
  • Preferred charities for donations, if they are expected instead of flowers
  • Location of most recent copies of all financial and Social Security statements, tax returns, and legal documents (such as wills and trusts)
  • List of all financial account beneficiaries and their contact information, if necessary
  • The location of all titles and/or deeds for real estate property, rental property, oil and gas leases, etc.
  • Your Social Security number and birth certificate
  • Location (and keys to) all safe deposit boxes
  • Any divorce and/or citizenship papers, or applications thereof
  • Contact information of any debtors, such as mortgages, credit cards and car loans
  • Contact information for any and all insurance coverage, especially life insurance.
  • Care and placement of any pets
  • Contact information for all retirement account or estate beneficiaries

Have The Conversation with your loved ones. https://theconversationproject.org/starter-kits/
Talking with your loved ones openly and honestly, before a medical crisis happens, gives everyone a shared understanding about what matters most to you at the end of life. You can use this Starter Kit whether you are getting ready to tell someone else what you want, or you want to help someone else get ready to share their wishes.

Finding a lawyer - call a few to get an idea of what they would charge to draft a will, living will, and power of attorney for your situation. If you're in the US, avvo.com (https://www.avvo.com/) can be a good resource to find a few lawyers near you to call.

Free advanced directives worksheets by state, from the AARP. (https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/free-printable-advance-directives/?intcmp=AE-CAR-LEG-R2-C3-LL3)

Alzheimer's Disease
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/legal-and-financial-planning-people-alzheimers

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/advance-care-planning-healthcare-directives
https://www.cancer.org/treatment/finding-and-paying-for-treatment/understanding-financial-and-legal-matters/advance-directives/types-of-advance-health-care-directives.html
https://www.cancer.org/treatment/finding-and-paying-for-treatment/understanding-financial-and-legal-matters/advance-directives/types-of-advance-health-care-directives.html

Five wishes:
-My wish for the person I want to make care decisions for me when I can't
-My wish for the kind of medical treatment I want or don't want
-How comfortable I want to be
-How I want people to treat me
-What I want my loved ones to know
https://www.agingwithdignity.org/five-wishes
Sample: https://agingwithdignity.org/docs/default-source/default-document-library/product-samples/fwsample.pdf?sfvrsn=2

What are good things for me to do in advance in case of emergency but not actual death?
Have copies of all your important documents (will, insurance information, photocopy of your passport, etc.) stored in a safe place other than your home. If your house burns down in the middle of the night you still want to have these things.
Have an In Case of Emergency (ICE) contact in your phone. (Helpful Link (https://www.wikihow.com/Add-ICE-to-Your-Cell-Phone))
If your phone has one of those little "emergency ID" lock screens, put your meds on there! Especially any heart meds, insulin, stuff like that is super important. If an accident happens, it's likely some care will be provided before the medical provider can get in touch with your medical decision maker/family.
Have a written list of accounts, get as many things on autopay as possible.

A quick word about emergency preparedness. Since you're going to all this trouble to have difficult conversations with your family members and drafting up documents, you don't want to lose it all in a house fire or flood. Plus there's a couple other things you can knock out at the same time that will make life a lot easier if an emergency happens later.

Have a BOB, or Bug Out Bag, ready to go. Your BOB should include a disaster supply kit, including a flashlight, batteries, cash, first aid supplies, medications, and copies of your critical information if you need to evacuate".  The amount of cash should be based on the basic needs of your family, including food, gas, and other necessities. The critical information will be:
1. E-mail addresses and phone numbers for your household members and any family you may rely on in an emergency. Don't assume you'll have access to your phone's contact list.
2. Identification - driver's license, passport, birth certificate, social security card
3. Professional Licenses - the credential itself, and all training classes needed to certify for credential
4. Personal Property - title to car, deeds to home, boat, etc
5. Tax history
6. Will, Power of Attorney, Advanced Heath care Directive
More about Bug Out Bags (http://www.theplacewithnoname.com/blogs/klessons/p/0007.html).

For electronic copies of important documents, store them in a password-protected format on a removable flash or external hard drive in your fireproof and waterproof box or safe, or consider using a secure offsite storage service. Visit www.us-cert.gov/ncas/tips/st04-019 to learn how to use electronic encryption to protect sensitive information.

Quote
Pre-Having Your Shit Together, you wake up in the night to the sound of your smoke alarms.  The house is on fire!  You roll out of bed naked, stumble about trying to put some clothes on and eventually manage to be 'decent'.  You dash out into the living room, which is now filled with smoke, and you start searching for Whiskers the Cat, who you finally find under the sofa.  He doesn't come when you call, and you can't quite reach him so you spend some time working on that.  When you do manage to fish the ungrateful creature out from under there, you stand up with him to try to get out of the house - but it's too late - you are overcome by smoke and you die on the floor.

Post-Having Your Shit Together, you wake up in the night to the sound of your smoke alarms.  The house is on fire!  You roll out of bed naked, snatch your BOB and your wife's BOB out from under the bed, grab your laptop bag, and dash out of the door.  Your wife, who grabbed Junior out of his crib in your bedroom is right behind you.  She's naked too.  (May as well get as much play out of that as I can...)  The whole family rendezvous at the mailbox, where you all unzip your BOBs and pull on some clothes.  Whoever is dressed first dials 911 on the cell phone.  If the weather is warm, you can call before you get dressed.  Health and Wealth protected.

AHH! This is too much! I'm overwhelmed! That's okay, this is a lot of stuff and it's important, emotionally-weighty stuff. Break it out into smaller chunks and do one thing a week, or one thing a month. Getting a little bit done is better than getting nothing done because you're overwhelmed.

Sources:
Ready.gov (https://www.ready.gov/hurricanes)
Federal Emergency Management Agency (https://www.fema.gov/media-library/assets/documents/94715)
Get Your Shit Together (https://www.gyst.com/articles/estate-planning-guide-to-wills-and-living-wills-and-advance-directives)
Investopedia (https://www.investopedia.com/articles/retirement/08/letter-of-instruction.asp)
avvo.com (https://www.avvo.com/)
AARP (https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/free-printable-advance-directives/?intcmp=AE-CAR-LEG-R2-C3-LL3)
Listening To Katrina (http://www.theplacewithnoname.com/blogs/klessons/p/0007.html)
FEMA's guide to safeguarding critical documents (https://www.fema.gov/media-library-data/1501683551530-cef254f971fed5df499b719d25325d07/Protect_Critical_Docs_and_Valuables_508.pdf)
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: meerkat on November 13, 2017, 08:35:13 AM
Reserved for resources
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: meerkat on November 13, 2017, 08:38:12 AM
To get the ball rolling - after years of putting it off, then getting wills drafted but not executed, we finally got our wills created and executed. I still want to get more life insurance on Mr. Meer and make sure all of my financial accounts have the right beneficiaries listed. I'd also like to create a "hit by a bus" file to keep in our safe that has a list of where all we have accounts and possibly usernames/passwords as well. My child has special needs so this would also include some of his medical information so his guardians aren't starting from scratch.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Bracken_Joy on November 13, 2017, 08:43:53 AM
Yes, I need to do this! My living will is woefully out of date- lists an ex boyfriend =o And I've been married for years now! Plus, now that we have a mortgage, I would like to get life insurance sorted. We don't have kids, so the will is less of an issue, but there's still shit I need to sort!

Goals:
-Get a written list of all my accounts, (CC, bank, the two tiny freebie life insurance policies paid for by our credit union, investments, etc) so if anything happens to us it's all in one place
-Make sure beneficiaries on all my accounts are correct and updated
-Sort life insurance (gulp)
-Do living wills for husband and myself. (this should be easier, since we've already done the tough conversations part of it)
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: SuperSecretName on November 13, 2017, 08:53:57 AM
shoot, i really need to do this.

How much should I budget for a real attorney (not legalzoom)?
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: lexde on November 13, 2017, 08:56:16 AM
Hey, thanks for the reminder! I have a folder on my computer called “It’s Time to Adult” where I have drafted a POA, Will, Pour-Over Trust, and Living Will, but haven’t actually executed everything in it yet. So I need to get on that.

Me: 27F Attorney.
Status: Single.
Net Worth: -3k.

• Have a POA drafted but not executed.
• Have a will drafted but not executed.
• Have a pour over trust drafted but not executed.
• Have a living will/advanced directive drafted but not executed.
• Term life insurance needs additional blood work before they will finalize my policy.

I guess I should keep all of my financial accounts, passwords, medical cards and information, and other important info somewhere but I’m not sure where at this point. May be time to invest in a safe deposit box. I’m sure one of my banks will give a discounted or free SDP based on my assets. But I’m also thinking I should just make a binder and keep it at home just in case.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: snacky on November 13, 2017, 08:59:01 AM
I'm in.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: lexde on November 13, 2017, 09:04:28 AM
shoot, i really need to do this.

How much should I budget for a real attorney (not legalzoom)?
Depends on your area. Call a few law firms in your area (check avvo.com first for reviews if in the US) and get a general idea of what they would charge.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: SuperSecretName on November 13, 2017, 09:19:19 AM
shoot, i really need to do this.

How much should I budget for a real attorney (not legalzoom)?
Depends on your area. Call a few law firms in your area (check avvo.com first for reviews if in the US) and get a general idea of what they would charge.
Can I just ask for the "adult" package?

It is just will (living and dead) and POA?
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Apples on November 13, 2017, 09:25:26 AM
Yeah I'm jumping in.  DH and I are childless (but plans in the next 2 years or so), have retirement, taxable, and bank accounts, I have a small life insurance through work, and we have no health paperwork set up.  This is our (my) winter project.  Not looking forward to it.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: lexde on November 13, 2017, 09:28:25 AM
shoot, i really need to do this.

How much should I budget for a real attorney (not legalzoom)?
Depends on your area. Call a few law firms in your area (check avvo.com first for reviews if in the US) and get a general idea of what they would charge.
Can I just ask for the "adult" package?

It is just will (living and dead) and POA?
It honestly depends on what your needs are, and any attorney worth their salt will review your personal situation and determine what you actually need. If the attorney has good reviews (I like avvo because attorneys and clients are both able to review so you get a better picture of the attorney’s full reputation) then they probably won’t take you for a ride and offer a bunch of stuff you don’t need. Just tell them you need assistance with estate planning and getting your affairs in order and they will be able to take a look. Generally people just need POA, advanced directives/living will, and a will. But if you have kids, or pets, or specific needs, that may change. You may want a different financial POA than medical if one of your family members is good with money, but you’re afraid they won’t pull the plug or authorize the care you want. An estate planning attorney will have a lot of insight into common issues and what specific tools would help you meet your goals. And a good estate attorney’s advice is worth their weight in gold. Shop around, and if the first attorney you talk to doesn’t sound engaged or personally interested in your goals, move on to the next one. We are public servants (or should be, anyway) so if you don’t feel like they WANT to work for YOU move on to the next one.

PM me if you have any other questions and I’ll do what I can to help.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: cchrissyy on November 13, 2017, 10:21:55 AM
This was my goal for the new year and I did it! 
: )

I needed a Will, Trust, Power of attorney for medical decisions and financial stuff. I paid $2k for an estate lawyer to do it all properly. I'm a single mom and what I cared about the most was the trust for my assets to go to the kids when and how I them to, and selecting who will have the authority for medical decisions if I am incapacitated.

adjusted my life insurance situation

double checked beneficiaries everywhere

wrote a long letter of instructions for my family members regarding everything they'd need to know if I was incapacitated or passed away

backed up my computer, photo library, the letter mentioned above, etc .  1 copy stored in my house and 1 copy at a separate safe location.


The lawyer was recomended by a friend-of-a-friend and verified by yelp reviews. I really liked him at the free consult and felt the price was fair. Even though $2k is a lot, I felt confident he would do it right and the service was worth it to me.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Jessa on November 13, 2017, 10:27:47 AM
Oh man, adulting. I have my 401k beneficiaries set up, and the majority of my cash assets are in a joint account with Husband, so there was only <$10k that would be problematic if I shuffle loose this mortal coil.

But.

We are building a house, which will increase the monthly expenses by enough that Husband would be hard-pressed to pay it on his own. And we are (I am) gestating a fetus that will require insurance and daycare and other costly things. So I need to get life insurance on at least myself to make sure Husband and Tiny Sparkles will be okay for a while. And then figure out who I'd dump the unborn kid on if we both croak. And then all those other things you guys are talking about. *sigh*
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Bicycle_B on November 13, 2017, 10:29:11 AM
Posted details in "Preparing for Senility?" thread.  Currently shopping for long term care insurance, though that's not a good deal for the average Mustache.

Thread:
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/preparing-for-senility/

Me:
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/preparing-for-senility/msg1764518/#msg1764518

Why LTCI (sorry about length):
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/preparing-for-senility/msg1767512/#msg1767512
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: meerkat on November 13, 2017, 11:11:50 AM
Posted details in "Preparing for Senility?" thread.  Currently shopping for long term care insurance, though that's not a good deal for the average Mustache.

Thread:
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/preparing-for-senility/

Me:
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/preparing-for-senility/msg1764518/#msg1764518

Why LTCI (sorry about length):
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/preparing-for-senility/msg1767512/#msg1767512

That's a great thread and I like the Why LTCI post in particular. Thanks for point it out, I probably would have missed it otherwise.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: PizzaSteve on November 13, 2017, 11:14:26 AM
PTF.  Need trust & any assistance is helpful.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Sailor Sam on November 13, 2017, 11:31:17 AM
Yes, I need to do this! My living will is woefully out of date- lists an ex boyfriend =o And I've been married for years now! Plus, now that we have a mortgage, I would like to get life insurance sorted. We don't have kids, so the will is less of an issue, but there's still shit I need to sort!

Goals:
-Get a written list of all my accounts, (CC, bank, the two tiny freebie life insurance policies paid for by our credit union, investments, etc) so if anything happens to us it's all in one place
-Make sure beneficiaries on all my accounts are correct and updated
-Sort life insurance (gulp)
-Do living wills for husband and myself. (this should be easier, since we've already done the tough conversations part of it)

Hey, heath care person! Can you help me understand the scerarios in which an Advanced Directives would kick in. Here's what I understand:

1. Brain Dead = the brainstem is farked, unplugging is a no-brainer (snirt!) and death is guaranteed because even the basic reflex for breath and heart beat is gone.

2. Persistent Vegetative State  = Coma = brain is profoundly damaged, but brainstem will keep the heart and lungs going. The person might also laugh, grimace, or cry, but all higher cognitive functions have stopped. People who are going to wake generally do so within 4 weeks, however extreme outliers have been known to exist. People can exist in this state for years, but generally die from pneumonia and get terrible pressure sores.For PVS there's nothing to 'unplug,' because basic reflexes remain intact. The Advanced Directive will need to specify no hydration or nutrition???

3. End-stage terminal illness. Death is going to occur, so heroic measures are kind of dumb, but palliative care can be requested. Advanced Directive will need to specify no life saving treatment (dyalysis), and have do not resuscitate orders, but request comfort care?

4. Dementia. Sucks. Euthanasia is illegal, so plan one final international trip.

Am I missing any scenarios? Obviously I'm not looking for incredible specifics, just situations in which my body might keep going when my mind is gone.

Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: FireHiker on November 13, 2017, 12:36:03 PM
Ok, I'm jumping in here, because it's egregious that we haven't done this. I had a will written up when I had just gone through my divorce and had one child. I have since remarried, had two more children, and my husband and I have substantial enough assets that we really need to get this done. Here are my goals:

-determine if we need a trust
-get trust (if deemed necessary) in place
-sort out will with guardianship clearly stated
-medical stuff (advanced directive? I know nothing on all this)
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: lemonverbena on November 13, 2017, 02:56:16 PM
Sigh. Yeah, we need to do this, too. What are everyone's thoughts on just using an online template and having it notarized?

-will
-trust
-life insurance for spouse
-learn more about disability insurance
-advanced directives... does this include burial/cremation preferences?
- letter with instructions/passwords, etc.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: thedigitalone on November 13, 2017, 03:23:41 PM
Posting to follow, guilty as well, we don't have most of this in place.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Bracken_Joy on November 13, 2017, 04:15:53 PM
Yes, I need to do this! My living will is woefully out of date- lists an ex boyfriend =o And I've been married for years now! Plus, now that we have a mortgage, I would like to get life insurance sorted. We don't have kids, so the will is less of an issue, but there's still shit I need to sort!

Goals:
-Get a written list of all my accounts, (CC, bank, the two tiny freebie life insurance policies paid for by our credit union, investments, etc) so if anything happens to us it's all in one place
-Make sure beneficiaries on all my accounts are correct and updated
-Sort life insurance (gulp)
-Do living wills for husband and myself. (this should be easier, since we've already done the tough conversations part of it)

Hey, heath care person! Can you help me understand the scerarios in which an Advanced Directives would kick in. Here's what I understand:

1. Brain Dead = the brainstem is farked, unplugging is a no-brainer (snirt!) and death is guaranteed because even the basic reflex for breath and heart beat is gone.

2. Persistent Vegetative State  = Coma = brain is profoundly damaged, but brainstem will keep the heart and lungs going. The person might also laugh, grimace, or cry, but all higher cognitive functions have stopped. People who are going to wake generally do so within 4 weeks, however extreme outliers have been known to exist. People can exist in this state for years, but generally die from pneumonia and get terrible pressure sores.For PVS there's nothing to 'unplug,' because basic reflexes remain intact. The Advanced Directive will need to specify no hydration or nutrition???

3. End-stage terminal illness. Death is going to occur, so heroic measures are kind of dumb, but palliative care can be requested. Advanced Directive will need to specify no life saving treatment (dyalysis), and have do not resuscitate orders, but request comfort care?

4. Dementia. Sucks. Euthanasia is illegal, so plan one final international trip.

Am I missing any scenarios? Obviously I'm not looking for incredible specifics, just situations in which my body might keep going when my mind is gone.

I will start with links. It sounds like you pretty much have the gist of it though.
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/advance-care-planning-healthcare-directives (https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/advance-care-planning-healthcare-directives)
https://www.cancer.org/treatment/finding-and-paying-for-treatment/understanding-financial-and-legal-matters/advance-directives/types-of-advance-health-care-directives.html (https://www.cancer.org/treatment/finding-and-paying-for-treatment/understanding-financial-and-legal-matters/advance-directives/types-of-advance-health-care-directives.html)

Important quote, IMO: "There’s no general agreement for recognizing living wills from other states. If you spend time in more than one state, you should create separate living wills, or make sure that your living will meets the requirements of all the states you spend a lot of time in."
and
"A living will is much more limited than a health care power of attorney. Both apply only when you are unable to speak for yourself, but the living will takes effect only if you are terminally ill or permanently unconscious. The living will gives written instructions about certain things that might happen. But it can’t possibly cover every health care situation that could come up, and it may not cover your situation when you need it. With most types of living wills, you can’t choose an agent or proxy to make decisions for you, and no one is appointed to be sure that your wishes are carried out. That’s why you need a health care power of attorney also (discussed later)."

To be honest? Based on my (limited) time in the ICU, from what I've seen, is that it is WAY more important to get on the same page as your spouse (or whoever you set up as your medical power of attorney). Situations ARE very distinct, hardly anything is 'textbook'. So it's important that your POA has a sense of what you would want, so that they can make a 'good guess' when you *can't* be specific. If that makes sense. Not that it isn't still a very good idea to have your advance directive (AD) in place, but it doesn't cover all situations for sure.

I've also read recommendations to have a little AD printed out in your wallet. I would add to this: for the love of all that is holy, if you take anything other than like... multivitamins... have a med list on you all the time!

So that's a good one to add: if your phone has one of those little "emergency ID" lock screens, put your meds on there! Especially any heart meds, insulin, stuff like that is super important. If an accident happens, it's likely some care will be provided before the medical provider can get in touch with your medical decision maker/family.

Ummm I might have gotten off topic. Still, hope some of that helps?
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: gggggg on November 13, 2017, 06:32:38 PM
I have one of the nolo willmaker sets 95% done. I got hung up on some small details and never finished it. I plan to get on it during my next stretch off work.
Title: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: pbkmaine on November 13, 2017, 06:33:44 PM
As a CFP(r), I want to urge people to use a trusts and estates attorney rather than an online will service. T&amp;E attorneys know the right questions to ask, and you don’t. Second, there are lots of small fiddly things about estate planning documents, and they vary considerably from state to state. This is NOT a place to cut corners.
As far as living wills or “five wishes” or POLST forms go, ask your MD. They probably have a form they are comfortable with. Fill it out, keep a copy with them, and make sure you have a copy in your bug-out bag.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: lexde on November 13, 2017, 07:03:23 PM
Yes, I need to do this! My living will is woefully out of date- lists an ex boyfriend =o And I've been married for years now! Plus, now that we have a mortgage, I would like to get life insurance sorted. We don't have kids, so the will is less of an issue, but there's still shit I need to sort!

Goals:
-Get a written list of all my accounts, (CC, bank, the two tiny freebie life insurance policies paid for by our credit union, investments, etc) so if anything happens to us it's all in one place
-Make sure beneficiaries on all my accounts are correct and updated
-Sort life insurance (gulp)
-Do living wills for husband and myself. (this should be easier, since we've already done the tough conversations part of it)

Hey, heath care person! Can you help me understand the scerarios in which an Advanced Directives would kick in. Here's what I understand:

1. Brain Dead = the brainstem is farked, unplugging is a no-brainer (snirt!) and death is guaranteed because even the basic reflex for breath and heart beat is gone.

2. Persistent Vegetative State  = Coma = brain is profoundly damaged, but brainstem will keep the heart and lungs going. The person might also laugh, grimace, or cry, but all higher cognitive functions have stopped. People who are going to wake generally do so within 4 weeks, however extreme outliers have been known to exist. People can exist in this state for years, but generally die from pneumonia and get terrible pressure sores.For PVS there's nothing to 'unplug,' because basic reflexes remain intact. The Advanced Directive will need to specify no hydration or nutrition???

3. End-stage terminal illness. Death is going to occur, so heroic measures are kind of dumb, but palliative care can be requested. Advanced Directive will need to specify no life saving treatment (dyalysis), and have do not resuscitate orders, but request comfort care?

4. Dementia. Sucks. Euthanasia is illegal, so plan one final international trip.

Am I missing any scenarios? Obviously I'm not looking for incredible specifics, just situations in which my body might keep going when my mind is gone.
Not Bracken_Joy, but...If you’re female, all of those items while pregnant, or whether pregnancy changes your directives.
Resuscitation. Mechanical ventilation. Tube feeding. Dialysis. Antibiotics/antiviral and whether you want aggressive infection treatment at end of life. Palliative care. Organ donation. Donating your body.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: KMMK on November 13, 2017, 07:44:01 PM
I'm so guilty here. I tell my clients to do this, made up an extensive list for the instructions part, get other people to fill it out including my husband. But I haven't finished my portion yet.

POAs are good. Will is on the backburner as most of our assets transfer directly and neither of us care if we're both dead. Probably leaving a mess for someone though. I know we should get it done.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Astatine on November 13, 2017, 11:08:32 PM
PTF so I don't lose this (will come back later, read and post).
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Linea_Norway on November 14, 2017, 02:19:49 AM
I am married without children. I expect us to be each other's beneficiaries. But I should double check.
We should make a will really, because if we don't have one and would die before our parents, our money would go to our parents who don't need it. So we should think of where we want to send our money in case both of us die.
As we live in a country where euthanasia is not allowed, we should also think of what we want to do in case of a big suffering decease.

The reason we don't have a will yet, is because you need witnesses to sign it. And I usually don't want to ask visiting friends to sign it. But maybe it is a triviality and I should just do it.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: meerkat on November 14, 2017, 04:05:25 AM
The reason we don't have a will yet, is because you need witnesses to sign it. And I usually don't want to ask visiting friends to sign it. But maybe it is a triviality and I should just do it.

We had to get ours notarized and signed by two witnesses. Luckily I work with several notaries so one day my husband met up with me at the end of the work day and a notary-friend grabbed two people from her department to be witnesses and we had a paperwork signing party. They didn't mind and were happy to help. They didn't read it in depth or anything, they were more just making sure that I was the one that had just scribbled in the signature spot rather than, I dunno, some stranger off the street trying to pretend to be me.

Which is a long-winded way of saying, if you're worried about it being awkward, it probably won't be. If you're worried about them being nosy and reading your will (the same way people start thumbing through all your pictures on your phone when you just wanted them to look at the one), maybe get someone else to sign instead or try to set it up so they just have to sign quickly and then you move into another room for snacks or whatever.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Linea_Norway on November 14, 2017, 04:52:21 AM
The reason we don't have a will yet, is because you need witnesses to sign it. And I usually don't want to ask visiting friends to sign it. But maybe it is a triviality and I should just do it.

We had to get ours notarized and signed by two witnesses. Luckily I work with several notaries so one day my husband met up with me at the end of the work day and a notary-friend grabbed two people from her department to be witnesses and we had a paperwork signing party. They didn't mind and were happy to help. They didn't read it in depth or anything, they were more just making sure that I was the one that had just scribbled in the signature spot rather than, I dunno, some stranger off the street trying to pretend to be me.

Which is a long-winded way of saying, if you're worried about it being awkward, it probably won't be. If you're worried about them being nosy and reading your will (the same way people start thumbing through all your pictures on your phone when you just wanted them to look at the one), maybe get someone else to sign instead or try to set it up so they just have to sign quickly and then you move into another room for snacks or whatever.

I am not worried about a friend reading the contents, I am just a bit embarrassed to bother them with it. Maybe I should just prepare a will before Christmas, as we will travel to meet the family at home. I think we need to sign in the presence of the witnesses.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: meerkat on November 14, 2017, 05:39:21 AM
Sigh. Yeah, we need to do this, too. What are everyone's thoughts on just using an online template and having it notarized?

Ideally you should go through an estate attorney and talk to them about your specific situation. You may mention one key word you don't think is important but they'll know they should ask follow up questions about xyz because it could impact how you want things arranged or what you need to do per your state's laws.

As a sort of compromise, I used a service called Legal Shield which was offered through my work. Membership for basic will services is $15/month I believe and they'll send you a booklet to fill out. Then you mail off the booklet to the law firm you've been assigned to and they'll send you back the documents with an instructional page about how to get them executed correctly per your state's laws. I had an exceptional situation and noted it in the booklet basically asking them to call me and I think I had a call center rep call me first and I arranged to speak with a lawyer about the issue later that day. I was able to discuss my situation with an actual lawyer and in my case I did not need further paperwork but if I had it would have been outside of what the membership covered. The Legal Shield service would have been happy to recommend someone for the additional stuff, of course, but at that point I would have strongly preferred talking to someone face to face and their recommendations would have been in a major city several hours away from me. If I hadn't made that note in my booklet I would never have talked to an actual human about our situation, which is not a good thing when you're dealing with something as serious as this.

Even just having the booklet prompted some unexpected questions between myself and my husband, and we're generally on the same page when it comes to our ideas of acceptable end of life care and burial practices.

The reason we don't have a will yet, is because you need witnesses to sign it. And I usually don't want to ask visiting friends to sign it. But maybe it is a triviality and I should just do it.

We had to get ours notarized and signed by two witnesses. Luckily I work with several notaries so one day my husband met up with me at the end of the work day and a notary-friend grabbed two people from her department to be witnesses and we had a paperwork signing party. They didn't mind and were happy to help. They didn't read it in depth or anything, they were more just making sure that I was the one that had just scribbled in the signature spot rather than, I dunno, some stranger off the street trying to pretend to be me.

Which is a long-winded way of saying, if you're worried about it being awkward, it probably won't be. If you're worried about them being nosy and reading your will (the same way people start thumbing through all your pictures on your phone when you just wanted them to look at the one), maybe get someone else to sign instead or try to set it up so they just have to sign quickly and then you move into another room for snacks or whatever.

I am not worried about a friend reading the contents, I am just a bit embarrassed to bother them with it. Maybe I should just prepare a will before Christmas, as we will travel to meet the family at home. I think we need to sign in the presence of the witnesses.

Don't feel embarrassed! You're not bothering them with some unimportant task, you're asking them to do you the honor of helping make sure your last wishes are taken care of. I'd be careful about doing it at Christmas though, it's possible that people who are related to you by blood or marriage are not eligible to be witnesses.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Sailor Sam on November 14, 2017, 10:34:00 AM
As a CFP(r), I want to urge people to use a trusts and estates attorney rather than an online will service. T&amp;E attorneys know the right questions to ask, and you don’t. Second, there are lots of small fiddly things about estate planning documents, and they vary considerably from state to state. This is NOT a place to cut corners.
As far as living wills or “five wishes” or POLST forms go, ask your MD. They probably have a form they are comfortable with. Fill it out, keep a copy with them, and make sure you have a copy in your bug-out bag.

I love you!
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: meadow lark on November 14, 2017, 12:10:39 PM
Filled out my forms today. 
My Healthcare Directive says comfort care only (if my MD believes me to be terminal, of course).  I promise to do it the right way with a lawyer if Stingray passes, or I expect to die soon, or I am 70 or over.  Not letting perfect be the enemy of good.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: SisterX on November 14, 2017, 12:38:07 PM
PTF, because as parents this is something we need to do. However, HusbandX signed up for the life insurance offered through his company so we're good to go on that. (If I died he'd be pretty well set in terms of income. The opposite would not be true currently, and probably not until BabyX, still in utero, is in or beyond preschool.)
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Jessa on November 14, 2017, 05:45:44 PM
I went to HR and got the card today to call about getting supplemental life insurance. (The company automatically insures me for 2x my annual salary, but I'm not sure how long that would really take care of Husband and Tiny Sparkles without me. ) I didn't actually call yet, but...baby steps.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: pbkmaine on November 14, 2017, 08:08:44 PM
As a CFP(r), I want to urge people to use a trusts and estates attorney rather than an online will service. T&amp;E attorneys know the right questions to ask, and you don’t. Second, there are lots of small fiddly things about estate planning documents, and they vary considerably from state to state. This is NOT a place to cut corners.
As far as living wills or “five wishes” or POLST forms go, ask your MD. They probably have a form they are comfortable with. Fill it out, keep a copy with them, and make sure you have a copy in your bug-out bag.

I love you!

It’s mutual!
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Astatine on November 15, 2017, 12:49:53 AM
Still reading through and catching up but wanted to reply to this when I read it.

To be honest? Based on my (limited) time in the ICU, from what I've seen, is that it is WAY more important to get on the same page as your spouse (or whoever you set up as your medical power of attorney). Situations ARE very distinct, hardly anything is 'textbook'. So it's important that your POA has a sense of what you would want, so that they can make a 'good guess' when you *can't* be specific. If that makes sense. Not that it isn't still a very good idea to have your advance directive (AD) in place, but it doesn't cover all situations for sure.

I've also read recommendations to have a little AD printed out in your wallet. I would add to this: for the love of all that is holy, if you take anything other than like... multivitamins... have a med list on you all the time!

So that's a good one to add: if your phone has one of those little "emergency ID" lock screens, put your meds on there! Especially any heart meds, insulin, stuff like that is super important. If an accident happens, it's likely some care will be provided before the medical provider can get in touch with your medical decision maker/family.

Not a medical person but recently went through cancer treatment (surgery, chemo, radiation) and had a young friend die from cancer a year ago (young = early 30s).

I agree completely with BJ. I haven't got round to doing an advanced care directive yet but I have had MANY conversations with DH about my wishes if the worst were to happen.

A really important part of planning for this is getting comfortable with talking with your loved ones about the possibility of you or your loved one getting horribly sick or dying or whatever. It's unfun but necessary. DH used to turn pale (literally) if I even broached the subject of getting a will because he couldn't cope with thinking about me dying. But, I've perservered and he's now fine with fully frank and open conversations about end of life, dying and so on. I'm comfortable he knows that if I'm dying from cancer or have a severe brain injury, I do not want any heroics. Just let me go.

And +1 to keeping an up to date list of meds and critical medical conditions in your phone (and send a copy to your loved one for them to save into notes or something on their phone - DH has read out my meds more than once to emergency docs when I've been too sick to give a full medical history myself).
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: firelight on November 15, 2017, 01:13:03 AM
PTF. We recently signed up for legal assistance through work and 2018 will be the year we sort it all out. We don't have a house or any real estate but have only liquid assets. Would a will be needed or can I just make my husband (and then my mom) the beneficiary so they get the money after I'm gone?
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Linea_Norway on November 15, 2017, 03:38:05 AM
I just googled to see what a testament should look like. I read that the witnesses may not be people who can benefit from the will. So not close relatives. I think therefore that writing our will should not be connected to travelling to family at Christmas.
But I also read that the living spouse only inherits half of the money, if the closest relatives are family. This is Norwegian specific law. So we really need to write a will so that DH and I will inherit from each other in case one of us dies. I don't want to risk half our money to be given away to relatives while the other one lives. We need to hurry. And then invite friends over to sign the testaments with us. What happens when both of us die later of less concern. Maybe we will think of some charity or make a trust fund.
It also said on the website that the witnesses don't need to see the contents. They just need to see that you are signing you will. You can put a sheet over the contents.
This was just the part about inheriting the fortune. I read that you can save the will wherever you want in a safe place, but you can also deposit it at a court for a fee. Then it will be found in case of death.

I will also investigate what I need to do to write down my medical wishes.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Astatine on November 15, 2017, 03:52:46 AM
DH and I got our wills and POA done a couple of years ago. I got a recommendation for a good solicitor from another MMMer. She was excellent and I'm glad we went with her. Leaving everything to each other was the easy bit. Working out what we wanted to do if both of us die was a bit trickier - we knew what we wanted but didn't know how to write it up in a watertight way. I think it's cheap not frugal to buy a will kit instead of going to a good solicitor.

My gauntlet will have to be quite modest because I don't have many spoons at the moment:

- set up a bug out bag before the bushfire season fully hits - aim for end of November
- finalise our bushfire plan (I've downloaded the local app for fire plans and the app for showing nearby fires on my phone but haven't actually, you know, filled out the plan) - aim for end of November
- change my name on the mortgage and house title to my new name (I changed my name 4 years ago) - aim for end of year
- once I've changed the name on the house title, change my name on the utility bills (electricity, gas and water/sewage) - end of January
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: AccidentialMustache on November 15, 2017, 05:56:13 AM
PTF...
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Jessa on November 15, 2017, 12:37:01 PM
I called the insurance company this morning. Waited on hold 10 minutes, gave up. Called back during lunch, gave them a call back number to return my call when they get a chance....that was an hour and a half ago. Not sure they want my business.

I'm figuring I need term life insurance, because the main concern is ensuring that Husband can afford the mortgage, insurance, and child care for Tiny Sparkles (and potential sibling) if I die unexpectedly in the next few years. My first thought is that 10 year term is probably fine, because we'll have a bigger stache and the kid(s) will only need before/afterschool care rather than full day. But maybe I should do 20 year, because by then they will both be out of the house? (Tiny Sparkles and imaginary second child)
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: cchrissyy on November 15, 2017, 12:46:14 PM
Jessa, you can also stagger them. Get a 10 and 20 year policy, each for half the amount you really want. That way in years 1-10 you're covered for the full amount you want now and then in years 11-20 you have some insurance but not too much.     

When I got quotes, it was for a whole array of term policy values and timeframes, and I from there I put together exactly the package I wanted and was the best value.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Jessa on November 15, 2017, 12:49:39 PM
Jessa, you can also stagger them. Get a 10 and 20 year policy, each for half the amount you really want. That way in years 1-10 you're covered for the full amount you want now and then in years 11-20 you have some insurance but not too much.     

When I got quotes, it was for a whole array of term policy values and timeframes, and I from there I put together exactly the package I wanted and was the best value.

Oooh, good call! Thanks!
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: WootWoot on November 15, 2017, 12:52:14 PM
Spouse and I have done almost none of this stuff. We had the living will forms from our former MD and never filled them out. Now we have a new MD and he never mentions it.

I need to ask my sister and/or mom for a lawyer referral. Funnily enough, I used to work in the legal field, but I don't know anyone in it anymore who might do me a favor and cut me a break on price!
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Sailor Sam on November 15, 2017, 02:22:33 PM
I made an appointment with JAG for the 27th. And I've filled out all the paperwork for Last Will & Testament, Living Will, and Springing POA for both general and heath care.

I check marked being a organ donor, but explicitly stated in capital letters than I REALLY DON'T WANT MY FACE PEELED OFF AND PUT ON SOMEONE ELSE. Skin for grafting is cool, but for gawdsakes don't peel my face off. kthxbye.

Progress! 
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Thegoblinchief on November 15, 2017, 03:28:20 PM
Ashamed to admit we have three kids 7,10,11 and no will in place at all.

Would it be okay to use something like legal zoom as a stopgap until we could afford a proper attorney? Our situation is not complex, not sure what the cost difference is. (Obviously this varies by law firm and market.)
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: ACyclist on November 15, 2017, 04:56:06 PM
I am so embarrassed.  No wills in place.  Net worth close to $500K  We do have some small life insurance policies, in the event of <gulp>  death.

Talking about death is very difficult for me.  So scary. 

BTW, no kids in the house, so we have that going for us.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: topshot on November 15, 2017, 05:59:03 PM
Talking about death is very difficult for me.  So scary.
What's so scary about death?
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: ACyclist on November 15, 2017, 10:21:43 PM
Talking about death is very difficult for me.  So scary.
What's so scary about death?

...end game.  I don't like thinking about the end of the game. 
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Linea_Norway on November 16, 2017, 01:35:26 AM
Talking about death is very difficult for me.  So scary.
What's so scary about death?

...end game.  I don't like thinking about the end of the game.

I remember when  I was 12 years old or so that my father told me he wanted to be cremated after his death. I was very upset to hear that, obvious that was for thinking about his death. But if it matters for yourself what is being done with you after death, then it is good to think about it now.

I have chosen to be a donor of body parts, so I know I will be "used" up before my funeral. DH knows about it and is also a donor. We both haven't written down what is to be done with us after that, funeral/cremation. I want to be cremated and strewn out in some pretty place.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Astatine on November 16, 2017, 01:58:55 AM
Talking about death is very difficult for me.  So scary.
What's so scary about death?

...end game.  I don't like thinking about the end of the game.

I remember when  I was 12 years old or so that my father told me he wanted to be cremated after his death. I was very upset to hear that, obvious that was for thinking about his death. But if it matters for yourself what is being done with you after death, then it is good to think about it now.

I have chosen to be a donor of body parts, so I know I will be "used" up before my funeral. DH knows about it and is also a donor. We both haven't written down what is to be done with us after that, funeral/cremation. I want to be cremated and strewn out in some pretty place.

I'm quite comfortable talking about death and dying with DH but only because it's a bit abstract. When I got told earlier this year I have a one in five chance of my cancer returning and killing me, I freaked out for months and didn't cope.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: topshot on November 16, 2017, 05:39:41 AM
...end game.  I don't like thinking about the end of the game.
Fair enough. To me it's just the beginning. This is just the pre-game warmup. I'm looking forward to it.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: SomedayStache on November 16, 2017, 06:57:04 AM
Ashamed to admit we have three kids 7,10,11 and no will in place at all.

Would it be okay to use something like legal zoom as a stopgap until we could afford a proper attorney? Our situation is not complex, not sure what the cost difference is. (Obviously this varies by law firm and market.)
Same situation.  Same question.

Our situation is simple, been married since our teen years, no messy family situations.  I've figured the default way things get distributed after death will work for us.

Do we need a trust?  I've been letting the perfect be the enemy of the good.  We've also always had a better use for the unknown thousands of dollars it seems will be necessary to do things perfectly.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Apples on November 16, 2017, 07:41:22 AM
Somedaystache, what is the plan for the kids if you both die?  Is it just up to the state/your family to figure out?  That's always what I think of as the main point of a will.

And growing up in a large family business, talking about estate planning has been regular.  Healthcare directives and the like, nope nope nope, but more like "if I get run over by a piece of equipment tomorrow, I know my family and the business will survive me".  Because when taking on this size of business, if the owner/operator dies without life insurance and a plan for how things will proceed, well it's likely the business that has been in the family for generations will not survive, the spouse will be forced to sell assets that are difficult to sell in order to fund life, and the family may have to move.  So it's considered responsible to discuss these things and get a plan in place.  Unfortunately it usually takes professionals to get everything in a neat bow.

And then my mom's mom is in her 80's and has put together the photo displays for her and her husband's funerals so the kids don't have to do it, and so she approves of all photos that will be going up.  She has openly discussed with her kids what they each want funeral-wise.  So maybe my family is a little weird.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: meerkat on November 16, 2017, 08:02:44 AM
And then my mom's mom is in her 80's and has put together the photo displays for her and her husband's funerals so the kids don't have to do it, and so she approves of all photos that will be going up.  She has openly discussed with her kids what they each want funeral-wise.  So maybe my family is a little weird.

At my wedding my mom specifically had the photographer do headshots of my mom and my dad with the intent that those would be the pictures used at the funeral. They were both dressed up and my mom had her hair and make up professionally done and a professional photographer was on site already so it made sense to add that in to the list of pictures we wanted.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: SisterX on November 16, 2017, 10:30:53 AM
And then my mom's mom is in her 80's and has put together the photo displays for her and her husband's funerals so the kids don't have to do it, and so she approves of all photos that will be going up.  She has openly discussed with her kids what they each want funeral-wise.  So maybe my family is a little weird.

At my wedding my mom specifically had the photographer do headshots of my mom and my dad with the intent that those would be the pictures used at the funeral. They were both dressed up and my mom had her hair and make up professionally done and a professional photographer was on site already so it made sense to add that in to the list of pictures we wanted.

We used a picture of my dad from my wedding at his funeral when he unexpectedly died earlier this year. It was a great photo.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: NoraLenderbee on November 16, 2017, 10:36:20 AM
We saw a lawyer some years ago for unrelated paperwork and the subject of wills came up. The lawyer said that because my husband was not a US citizen, I couldn't simply leave everything to him if I went first. We needed some special trust, some tax issues, etc. We never pursued it (and thus have no wills).

Does anyone know if there are special considerations for non-US-citizen spouses? He is a legal permanent resident, but does not plan to apply for citizenship.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Paul der Krake on November 16, 2017, 10:45:51 AM
Married pushing mid-6 figures in net worth, no wills, no life insurance besides what I get for free at work (maybe 200k, don't remember exactly).

Rationale:
- we have plenty of taxable assets
- neither of us needs the other financially
- should I die while my wife is pregnant, she will receive close to 4k per month of Social Security death benefit until the child is an adult, which in combination with the other assets growing for 20 years, which will make her insta-FIRE.
- we have either joint accounts with rights of survivorship, or named as beneficiaries on retirement accounts. The intestate laws for the rest are fine.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Jessa on November 16, 2017, 10:47:25 AM
I am still attempting to get a hold of someone to get additional life insurance through work. They apparently do not answer phone calls, I had to register my email, so I know they got it, still no response though...
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Bicycle_B on November 16, 2017, 11:23:08 AM
So impressed at how solution-oriented this thread is - great work moving forwards, everyone!

For those still will-less, a free starting point is to update the beneficiary of all financial accounts.  Where I have lived, in any case, naming the beneficiary is free.  Also, in the states where I have lived (I think all states, just not a lawyer here), financial accounts such as mutual funds and most bank accounts pass outside of any will.  They just go straight to the named beneficiary as soon as the account company recognizes the death certificate (which someone has to bring to them).  So updating beneficiaries is necessary in any case - just to make sure they've been named.  I believe you can name anyone you want as beneficiary; am guessing that includes foreign spouse.  The account-holding company might know what's ok.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Jessa on November 17, 2017, 02:11:44 PM
Okay, I finally heard back from my employer's insurance company, they only provide whole life insurance. Any suggestions for good third party term life insurance companies?
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Paul der Krake on November 17, 2017, 02:52:22 PM
term4sale.com, or any other quote aggregator. Term life is a highly commoditized product.

Pick any provider with a reasonable financial rating.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Rural on November 17, 2017, 06:54:15 PM
Got almost all of this together the weekend after husband's cousin died suddenly one day at work (nothing like a shock of that sort to bring it all home, and things would have been so much easier if he'd had the paperwork). But I need to do healthcare directive, as does husband. But I don't know for sure what I'd want.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: FIRE_at_45 on November 17, 2017, 07:05:12 PM
Posting to follow.  Need to get my will done.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Dusty Dog Ranch on November 18, 2017, 10:05:08 AM
I just checked out the NOLO Planning Your Estate book from the library...again. Will have to try harder to push through the roadblocks and just get it done. Plus the one year subscription to Willmaker is almost over...
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Sibley on November 22, 2017, 08:29:58 AM
My current employer offers as legal benefits as an option. I signed up for this, intending to do a will, etc after I bought a house.

Almost done. Just need to get with the attorney to finalize the documentation - sign, etc. Just in time too, because I'm going to be giving notice at my job in December. Monday.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Jessa on November 22, 2017, 09:05:43 AM
I contacted an agency about term life, and laddering the policies. So far, so good. I submitted my application, we'll see how it goes.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Bicycle_B on November 22, 2017, 09:20:47 PM
My current employer offers as legal benefits as an option. I signed up for this, intending to do a will, etc after I bought a house.

Almost done. Just need to get with the attorney to finalize the documentation - sign, etc. Just in time too, because I'm going to be giving notice at my job in December. Monday.

Congrats, Sibley.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: ToTheMoon on November 22, 2017, 09:41:29 PM
PTF, and to find again.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Bicycle_B on November 23, 2017, 08:50:33 PM
Posted details in "Preparing for Senility?" thread.  Currently shopping for long term care insurance, though that's not a good deal for the average Mustache.

Thread:
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/preparing-for-senility/

Me:
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/preparing-for-senility/msg1764518/#msg1764518

Why LTCI (sorry about length):
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/preparing-for-senility/msg1767512/#msg1767512

Bought long term care insurance Monday... I think.

They have a many-pages-long application where you pay for a specific policy, then fill out numerous medical details... after which they evaluate you, and if you'll be profitable, they issue the policy; if not, they reject you.  How long does the acceptance/rejection take?  "Weeks", says the representative (sales agent). 

In any case, family relations at Thanksgiving were improved by passing relevant copies to Sis and her husband.  Yes, rollicking times in the Bicycle family!
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: meerkat on November 24, 2017, 05:42:53 PM
In any case, family relations at Thanksgiving were improved by passing relevant copies to Sis and her husband.  Yes, rollicking times in the Bicycle family!

Glad to hear it!
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: soccerluvof4 on November 26, 2017, 04:03:55 AM
53,49 fire'd 4 kids nothing in place. Following to get this all out of my head thinking about it and getting done early in 2018.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Dusty Dog Ranch on November 26, 2017, 10:38:14 AM
We've completed reading Chapters 1-5 in the NOLO Planning Your Estate book. We get to skip a lot of sections because no kids.

Chapter 4 was the asset inventory. We had done most of it the last time but then got stuck and went no further.

Now on to the crux: wills, living trusts, charitable trusts. Chapters 7-9 & 20.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: TempusFugit on November 26, 2017, 04:14:10 PM
I used legalzoom for a basic will last year.   I'm single with no kids, so it's more for the hassle factor for my family that I'm bothering with a will at all.  I also did the health care advanced directive doohickey, which is actually more important (for me). 

The (stupid) problem I've got is that even though I have this will now, I haven't yet signed it.  Why?  Because, evidently, in my state, you have to get it witnessed and notarized.  Simple? Not so, when the witnesses can't be any relative or anyone who is a beneficiary in the will.  Banks won't witness anything anymore (hassle? liability?) so you have to find 2 people who aren't in your will and who have the time to take to go to the bank with you to witness your signature.   My good friends (who I would otherwise ask for this) are in my will, so they aren't eligible. 

I realize this is a stupid thing, but honestly, this simple roadblock has kept me from completing my will for almost 2 years now because I loathe to ask people for something like this. 
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: formerlydivorcedmom on November 27, 2017, 01:13:19 PM
TempusFugit, have you thought about asking random strangers waiting in line at the bank to witness for you?  My sister was asked to witness something for a random someone applying for relief post-Harvey and she did it.

Alternatively, is there a notary at your work?  All of my employers have had someone on site. Coworkers will likely be fine serving as a witness.

One of my neighbors is also a notary - do you have a neighborhood Facebook page where you could ask if someone is a notary?  Then you could ask another set of neighbors to witness. 
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Sailor Sam on November 27, 2017, 01:23:07 PM
I made an appointment with JAG for the 27th. And I've filled out all the paperwork for Last Will & Testament, Living Will, and Springing POA for both general and heath care.

I check marked being a organ donor, but explicitly stated in capital letters than I REALLY DON'T WANT MY FACE PEELED OFF AND PUT ON SOMEONE ELSE. Skin for grafting is cool, but for gawdsakes don't peel my face off. kthxbye.

Progress!

Appointment was done. The JAG LT was impressed by my dedication to not having my face peeled off, but warned me to also notify my executor. So I sent a text to my wife to remind her, now and perpetuity, to never allow someone to peel my face off.

I have to go back on the 4th of Jan to have the will executed and filed.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Paul der Krake on November 27, 2017, 09:06:00 PM
For Washington residents:
https://www.washingtonlawhelp.org/issues/health/powers-of-attorney-health-care-directives

I found this through the NW Justice Project, a publicly funded legal help clinic staffed by students and professors at UW Law. Presumably they knew what they were doing when they wrote the forms.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: meerkat on December 04, 2017, 07:27:16 AM
Got the physical done this morning for my additional life insurance. The guy came out to my house and it took about a half hour. Blood and urine samples, height, weight, and he asked a bunch of health history questions. I know for my original life insurance policy the person came sometime in the afternoon so I had to fast all day, doing this first thing in the morning is much easier.

Still to do:
Additional life insurance for husband
Usernames/passwords list
Information write up about kiddo (what all doctors/therapists he sees)
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Jessa on December 04, 2017, 09:17:22 AM
Got the physical done this morning for my additional life insurance. The guy came out to my house and it took about a half hour. Blood and urine samples, height, weight, and he asked a bunch of health history questions. I know for my original life insurance policy the person came sometime in the afternoon so I had to fast all day, doing this first thing in the morning is much easier.

I had mine Friday night! I did not have to fast, I'm not sure if it just wasn't required or if they waived it because I'm pregnant. 10 year lookback is HARD. "Have you ever had xxx?" Yes. "When?" Um...at least five years ago, but probably not more than 10? "Who diagnosed you?" Um the doctor I saw when I was 19? Yikes. But the examiner was pretty sure I'd be fine, because I'm young and healthy and all my vitals were good. Go me!
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: meerkat on December 04, 2017, 09:26:32 AM
Got the physical done this morning for my additional life insurance. The guy came out to my house and it took about a half hour. Blood and urine samples, height, weight, and he asked a bunch of health history questions. I know for my original life insurance policy the person came sometime in the afternoon so I had to fast all day, doing this first thing in the morning is much easier.

I had mine Friday night! I did not have to fast, I'm not sure if it just wasn't required or if they waived it because I'm pregnant. 10 year lookback is HARD. "Have you ever had xxx?" Yes. "When?" Um...at least five years ago, but probably not more than 10? "Who diagnosed you?" Um the doctor I saw when I was 19? Yikes. But the examiner was pretty sure I'd be fine, because I'm young and healthy and all my vitals were good. Go me!

I think so. I think I was asked if I was pregnant or diabetic or (third group I can't remember that would also have blood sugar issues).

Thankfully I haven't had a lot of interesting health stuff over the past decade (aside from IVF which they don't care about) but I definitely had to stop once or twice to do mental math.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: thedigitalone on December 04, 2017, 02:16:14 PM
100% due to this thread we added the legal coverage benefit at my wife's work and are meeting with the estate planning lawyer on Wednesday to start getting all of these docs in place. 

Thanks for the motivation to get this long overdue task out of the way!
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: headwinds on December 04, 2017, 07:58:11 PM
Great thread. I don't have any of these things at this time but I definitely need to do all of the above. Thanks for the inspiration and resources, will be checking back here once the wheels are set in motion. :)
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: sunflower_yellow on December 08, 2017, 08:13:08 AM
This is one of my goals for this winter.

I couldn't imagine leaving my husband to figure this out. I'm our family's CFO... he would be lost. And I can't imagine having to figure this out after (heaven forbid) losing my husband.

I'm not even sure where to start - I need to read and re-read the excellent introductory post!

My goal for December: figure out what the heck I need to do and have a punchlist in place by New Year's. Hold me to it! :-)
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: rockeTree on December 08, 2017, 08:36:35 AM
I used legalzoom for a basic will last year.   I'm single with no kids, so it's more for the hassle factor for my family that I'm bothering with a will at all.  I also did the health care advanced directive doohickey, which is actually more important (for me). 

The (stupid) problem I've got is that even though I have this will now, I haven't yet signed it.  Why?  Because, evidently, in my state, you have to get it witnessed and notarized.  Simple? Not so, when the witnesses can't be any relative or anyone who is a beneficiary in the will.  Banks won't witness anything anymore (hassle? liability?) so you have to find 2 people who aren't in your will and who have the time to take to go to the bank with you to witness your signature.   My good friends (who I would otherwise ask for this) are in my will, so they aren't eligible. 

I realize this is a stupid thing, but honestly, this simple roadblock has kept me from completing my will for almost 2 years now because I loathe to ask people for something like this.

Most UPS stores have a notary or two on staff and will take walk-ins (or at least tell you when a notary will be available if they're not there right at that minute). It's cheap.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Linea_Norway on December 12, 2017, 03:55:34 AM
Today I wrote a draft will that DH and and I can use for each other in case one of us dies. I used an example I found on the internet, written by a lawyer. The person living longest shall inherit everything. After that person dies, the inheritance will be divided equally between both families.  I added some comments about how the longest living person can donate the inheritance to charity, but not give the 2 families different percentages. Also a comment about what can be inherited by a new life partner. At least now we have something very concrete to discuss, with the correct conditions in it.

Next step 1: Discuss the draft will with my husband and agree on a final text together.
Next step 2: Inviting 2 witnesses to sign it together with us. The witnesses may not receive any inheritance. So friends may be the right choice.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Rosy on December 13, 2017, 03:08:34 PM
As a CFP(r), I want to urge people to use a trusts and estates attorney rather than an online will service. T&amp;E attorneys know the right questions to ask, and you don’t. Second, there are lots of small fiddly things about estate planning documents, and they vary considerably from state to state. This is NOT a place to cut corners.
As far as living wills or “five wishes” or POLST forms go, ask your MD. They probably have a form they are comfortable with. Fill it out, keep a copy with them, and make sure you have a copy in your bug-out bag.

Thank you - 2018 will be my target date to get this done. I actually bought the online service, but decided not to use it. I'd rather have a professional who is familiar with the laws of our state, even if it is expensive.

While Hurricane Irma was barreling our way I managed to pull all our important papers into one file for our bug-out bag. Now I need to make copies and create copies to keep online and at a different location.

OP - thank you for bringing this up - I did a few things in 2017 like updating beneficiaries on all our assets and setting up all bank accounts so Mr. R. or my son is automatically the beneficiary even without having a will.

1. The house is the only problem which is one big motivator to get all estate related things finalized - I'd hate to be without a roof over my head if Mr. R. should die before me.
2. I'm wondering, is there a way to leave my car to my son while I don't have a will yet?
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: jkitiara on December 13, 2017, 03:21:40 PM
I always thought once I did this I would do a Revocable Living Trust rather than a Will. Any savvy mustachians have strong thoughts either way?

These things are high on my 2018 to do list, especially since I have an 18 month old now.
1. Term Life insurance--enough to pay for death stuff. I think it's sort of silly to do much more if you have a decent net worth.
2. Get my mom to do a Living Revocable Trust. My dad died 2 years ago and she has a ton of property and no will or anything.
3. Medical/Death wishes in writing for my DH and I

I just have to suck it up and do #2 over the holidays while visiting Mom.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Linea_Norway on December 14, 2017, 10:43:49 AM

1. The house is the only problem which is one big motivator to get all estate related things finalized - I'd hate to be without a roof over my head if Mr. R. should die before me.
2. I'm wondering, is there a way to leave my car to my son while I don't have a will yet?

About the car... Maybe you can transfer the car ownership to him now and get your son to sign a contract that you can use it and pay all the bills it generates?
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: sunflower_yellow on December 17, 2017, 09:42:00 AM
This is one of my goals for this winter.

I couldn't imagine leaving my husband to figure this out. I'm our family's CFO... he would be lost. And I can't imagine having to figure this out after (heaven forbid) losing my husband.

I'm not even sure where to start - I need to read and re-read the excellent introductory post!

My goal for December: figure out what the heck I need to do and have a punchlist in place by New Year's. Hold me to it! :-)

Ugh. This is hard!

Not so much the "tough conversations" part, but figuring out what we actually need. I think this is my to do list:

Code: [Select]
Contacts
- Family
- Friends
- Employers
- Doctors
- Insurance (Health, Home, Car, Life)
Family Finances & How Stuff Works
- Important Documents (e.g. locations)
- Accounts
- Bill Pay
- Insurance (Health, Home, Car, Life)
Digital Assets
- Accounts
- Credentials
- Documents
- Photographs
- Family Tree
Will
- Executor
- Beneficiaries
- Guardians
- Assets & how they are to be dispersed
- Revocable Living Trust?
Advance Directive
Power of Attorney

Also, https://www.gyst.com is super, super helpful for figuring this stuff out.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: BrakeForTurtles on December 17, 2017, 10:39:50 AM
This is all on my to do list! Does anyone have a Canadian equivalent to the NOLO estate planning book? Or can that book be used outside a US context? That sounds like a good method of working through it systematically.

I'd like to add a point to the subject of organ donation. My sister used to work in this field (transplanting pancreas cells to help people with uncontrollable type 1 diabetes). It took about 8 hours to prepare the cells to transplant, and often at the end they would find the quality or quantity wasn't high enough. If the donor had specified that their organs were only to be used for transplant, they had to throw the cells out. If the donor had said transplant or research, the cells could be given to researchers to use. It was often heartbreaking for her team to spend so long preparing a transplant, only to have to discard it. So please, if you are donating your organs, please consider donating them for research as well as transplant. And make sure your family is aware of your wishes!
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Sibley on December 17, 2017, 05:54:26 PM
My current employer offers as legal benefits as an option. I signed up for this, intending to do a will, etc after I bought a house.

Almost done. Just need to get with the attorney to finalize the documentation - sign, etc. Just in time too, because I'm going to be giving notice at my job in December. Monday.

Congrats, Sibley.

Well, the attorney doesn't seem to want to wrap this up timely, despite my bugging him repeatedly. So, he can wait for me now. It won't be convenient for me to get to his office for several months (yes, months). We'll see how long it takes for him to get in touch with me. At which point, I will be happy to schedule a meeting, on my schedule.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: N on December 17, 2017, 11:58:36 PM
Thanks for the motivation.
I definitely need to do this. The hardest part is the guardianship for our two kids.
But we dont have most of the things on this list. Its daunting, but I will get started.

Update: Checked all our financial accounts and made sure that our beneficiaries were correct.
Called potential Guardian for our minor children for initial discussion. Ongoing discussions needed.
(I resolved not to die in the next ten years, minimum)

Have started Bug Out Bags, but more attention and supplies needed to those
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Villanelle on December 18, 2017, 12:04:47 AM
I often see mentioned--usually as a reason not to go with an online service--that laws vary from state to state.  Does this mean that theoretically, we'd need to redo our wills every time we move interstate?

Also, if we are living overseas, which state's laws (or which state's lawyers) should be use?  We are technically legal residents of NV (registered to vote, licenses, and would pay state income taxes there if there was one in NV).  Realistically, it will be many years before we ever live there again, even once we are stateside, if we ever do, but we will maintain legal residency there (possible because husband is military). 
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Linea_Norway on December 18, 2017, 02:25:48 AM
I often see mentioned--usually as a reason not to go with an online service--that laws vary from state to state.  Does this mean that theoretically, we'd need to redo our wills every time we move interstate?

Also, if we are living overseas, which state's laws (or which state's lawyers) should be use?  We are technically legal residents of NV (registered to vote, licenses, and would pay state income taxes there if there was one in NV).  Realistically, it will be many years before we ever live there again, even once we are stateside, if we ever do, but we will maintain legal residency there (possible because husband is military).

For me, Dutch citizen living in Norway, it is the country of the person who died whose laws are followed. Also for parents who want to donate a sum to their children while being alive, it is the Dutch laws that apply for the taxfree amount when receiving from our parents. In Norway it is specified that a certain instance in the vicinity of where the dead person officially lived, that takes care of the will.
So I think it is your state where you officially live, that counts. If you stay somewhere as a tourist, it is probably your home country that counts.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: iris lily on December 26, 2017, 03:06:31 PM
I just discovered this thread.

Last January we had an attorney specializing in wills and trusts complete both for us. Since then, we have been hacking away at getting all of our financial instruments set up. We are not good about this, and we do it in fits and starts.

We have our assets in far too many freakin’ accounts. One of them, a mere $11,000, cant be retitled  without 30 pages of paperwork because it is still in my maiden name. Ugh, this shit drives me crazy. I would just cash it the hell out but that will affect our taxable income for ACA purposes, so ?i will let it lie another couple of years until we go on the government dole, Medicare.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: iris lily on December 26, 2017, 03:11:59 PM
Also to add—what I would do differently knowing what I now know—

We divided our assets among  ten individuals and charitable organizations. Now,
I would not do that, I would just choose a few charitable orgs and be done with it.

One of the annoying things is that a brokerage firm wanted social security numbers for individuals named in our will. Hell, no. I do not want these people to know they are named in our will because it is likely I will remove them in the next iteration, in ten years. The brokerage co ended up accepting the birth date in lieu of Social security numbers for these individuals.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: newgirl on December 27, 2017, 07:40:46 PM
Good one. This is actually doubly important for my partner and I because we're not legally married (and probably won't be anytime soon), but we do have a kid. So we need to be extra diligent about filing paperwork with the courts to establish legal and physical joint custody. It appears that per our state laws, he is considered the legal father (we did file the extra paperwork to do that at the hospital), but as the (single) mother I'm presumed to have sole physical custody unless we file a custody arrangement with the courts that says otherwise. We live together so in practical terms it's a moot point but if I died in a car crash tomorrow our child would have no custodian. Yikes.

Calling the attorney tomorrow!
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: FireLane on December 28, 2017, 07:56:54 PM
This is such a good idea for a thread. DS is a year old and Mrs. FL and I have no excuse for not having our wills made out yet. Neither of us is planning to die any time soon, but if anything did happen to us, we need to make sure he'll be taken care of.

We really need to make an appointment with a lawyer and sort this out. Hopefully, this thread title popping up in my unread-posts list whenever I log on will be the prodding I need to get it done in 2018.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Bracken_Joy on December 29, 2017, 10:14:50 AM
A very miscellaneous one- I put together a list of all my past addresses, with years. At some point I'll also put together a list of all foreign travel with years. These get asked for random things- credit reports and applications, background checks (which I have to have redone for work every 2 years), and so on.

Also put lists of phone numbers in Husband and my wallets. In this era of cellphones, neither of us know any numbers by heart anymore. I routinely struggle to remember his! I did the lists business card size, and "laminated" them with clear tape.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Rural on December 29, 2017, 06:57:42 PM
Got a medallion signature to fix someone else's mistake that was affecting us. Name spelled wrong on a brokerage account, mispelling courtesy a long-ago employer. Should be fixed soon now.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Guava on December 29, 2017, 07:17:56 PM
This is on my list for 2018. I really want to get my end of life plans sorted out because people always get weird about those things when the time comes. I am ineligible to donate any organs so I want my body donated to science...and even though everyone knows that, I want it written out so there is no turning around.  Aside from that, hubby doesn't have his name on the house at all so I need to make sure that gets taken care of ASAP.

Debating whether to get a small term life policy on him as well. I could manage financially without him but something to pay for his arrangements would be helpful (and I don't even know what type of arrangements he wants!)

Thanks for this thread...it should be a reminder for us to get on track.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Step37 on December 30, 2017, 12:50:28 AM
Great thread. Posting to find again and finish reading through. Took care of wills/POA a couple of years ago, but could work on emergency preparedness. Also need to have a discussion with my parents to see where their “shit” stands (I know it’s not in order and I’m hoping they’ll let me help). Will look at “the conversation” link for help with this.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 03, 2018, 12:50:21 PM
Posting this, partially to find later, partially to share with you all: https://www.fema.gov/media-library-data/1501683551530-cef254f971fed5df499b719d25325d07/Protect_Critical_Docs_and_Valuables_508.pdf (https://www.fema.gov/media-library-data/1501683551530-cef254f971fed5df499b719d25325d07/Protect_Critical_Docs_and_Valuables_508.pdf)

Fema's guidelines on safeguarding critical documents.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Paul der Krake on January 03, 2018, 01:34:11 PM
Consider leaving your valuable documents at work. My building is open 24/7, earthquake-proof, filled with emergency food in the event of a natural disaster, with full time security and monitoring staff keeping an eye on things. My home has none of this.

If shit hits the fan, I'll be going there anyway.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Serendip on January 03, 2018, 01:46:39 PM
Thanks for the reminder printed off beneficiary forms for RRSP & TFSA, ready to send!
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Poundwise on January 04, 2018, 07:25:15 AM
Thanks for this!  I drew up a will over a decade ago but it needs serious revision... and my husband doesn't have a will at all!
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: BeanCounter on January 05, 2018, 07:02:28 AM
we need to do this this year. It has to get done. Two parents, 40 with two kids, over a million dollars in assets and NO WILL.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: netskyblue on January 05, 2018, 09:35:02 AM
I finally did this!  (At age 34).  Will, durable medical PoA, springing financial PoA, and in the process of getting life insurance, just did the physical exam.  I finally have someone in my life that I trust with these things, and as we've made the decision (for now at least) not to set marriage as an "end goal," we're setting each other up with as many legal protections and rights as possible outside of marriage.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Sailor Sam on January 05, 2018, 09:59:54 AM
Yesterday I excecuted my will, and my deployment PoA, springing medical PoA, springing general PoA, and advanced directive.

I've also scanned 10 years of medical/dental records (that sucked). I need to scan all of 2017's records, plus my new passport and work credentials.

Progress!
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Bicycle_B on January 05, 2018, 12:06:57 PM
Good job SS!

Update to thread readers re current step - received word that my application for long term care insurance (TLDR family Alzheimer's) is on hold pending completion of some physical therapy. PT is in progress. Will update in probably 2-3 months.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Optimiser on January 05, 2018, 12:20:30 PM
Posting to follow and to remind myself to get my shit together.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Jessa on January 05, 2018, 12:21:24 PM
Woo hoo! Life insurance application approved! I'll have one 10 year policy for $250k and one 20 year policy for $100k. Husband and Tiny Sparkles should be okay if i kick the bucket :)
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Sailor Sam on January 05, 2018, 12:21:43 PM
Good job SS!

Update to thread readers re current step - received word that my application for long term care insurance (TLDR family Alzheimer's) is on hold pending completion of some physical therapy. PT is in progress. Will update in probably 2-3 months.

Thank you, sir. Enjoy PT.
Title: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Roadrunner53 on January 06, 2018, 09:53:16 AM
We did our wills years ago and they need to be redone. Since the will were made my parents are gone and my Hubs parents are gone. We aren't close to 2 of his 3 siblings. One we get together maybe once a year for dinner. The other two are estranged from us. We have no close friends and no children. Hub has been wanting to redo the wills but I am at a loss on who to leave our money to if there is any left. Originally we left a token amount to Hubs siblings in the event the parents passed. So that is where it is now. Since we basically don't have much of a relationship with 2 out of the 3 that only leaves charity. We originally had a local animal welfare organization on the will. I still would like that. But I feel like something is missing! I keep postponing redoing the wills because I just don't know what to do! I have one close friend in another state and she could use money. She has had 3 failed marriages, bought a house and a car and had to go into foreclosure and had dumped inheritance money into the house. She had to declare bankruptcy. Whatever we decide to do I would like to put the money into a trust where the organization or person would get something like an annuity each year. Maybe something that they would only get the yearly interest and the principle would always be intact. Especially for an animal welfare organization. Anyone have any ideas here?
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: meerkat on January 06, 2018, 09:58:57 AM
We did our wills years ago and they need to be redone. Since the will were made my parents are gone and my Hubs parents are gone. We aren't close to 2 of his 3 siblings. One we get together maybe once a year for dinner. The other two are estranged from us. We have no close friends and no children. Hub has been wanting to redo the wills but I am at a loss on who to leave our money to if there is any left. Originally we left a token amount to Hubs siblings in the event the parents passed. So that is where it is now. Since we basically don't have much of a relationship with 2 out of the 3 that only leaves charity. We originally had a local animal welfare organization on the will. I still would like that. But I feel like something is missing! I keep postponing redoing the wills because I just don't know what to do! I have one close friend in another state and she could use money. She has had 3 failed marriages, bought a house and a car and had to go into foreclosure and had dumped inheritance money into the house. She had to declare bankruptcy. Whatever we decide to do I would like to put the money into a trust where the organization or person would get something like an annuity each year. Maybe something that they would only get the yearly interest and the principle would always be intact. Especially for an animal welfare organization. Anyone have any ideas here?

I'd say that's definitely a lawyer question, especially if your friend lives in another state. They should also have an idea of what other clients have done in situations similar to yours where there's not much family they want to leave their money to.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: meerkat on February 14, 2018, 08:05:40 AM
How's everyone doing? We've updated some of our accounts to have the right beneficiary information, tax stuff has actually been helpful with remembering what accounts need that adjusted. Still need to do the password/account list. I figure even if the passwords change, knowing there's an account at xyz institution should help whoever has to track down all my stuff later.

We did agree that, while in theory it might be helpful to use my mom's safe as a safety deposit box, we don't trust her not to look through some of our personal documents in the spirit of "helpfulness" one day. On the flip side I have explicitly shared some documents with my dad since he'll be undertaking financial guardianship of our son if both me and my husband get hit by a bus. I emailed them to him and also showed him at our house where to look for stuff when he was visiting one time, it took maybe five minutes and then we got back to chatting like usual.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: mspym on February 16, 2018, 03:39:30 PM
alright, time to make a list of all the shit I gotta get sorted out, now that I am married and have assets.

In no particular order,
1- Write up an assets list Done
2- Assign beneficiaries for my super/ associated life insurance Done
3- Make a will. Any advice for Australia? is it worth just doing the Public Trust thing?
        c) Read up the trust rules yesterday and impact of dying intestate is everything goes to my husband. Since I want to split my estate between husband, kids and niblings, time to make a will
4- Work out if there is any difference to our tax situation now we are married Done
5- Work out a plan for my step children, in case anything happens to my husband 
6- Get a medical check-up - Need to book
7- Have the medical/living will conversation.
         e) started the conversation while walking around the bays, both want to be cremated. Both want to be resuscitated.

New item: Work out the tax implications of moving out of Oz back to NZ. Because I am paying a boatload in taxes each year (and happy to do so) but don't want to have to sell up and take another hit when my preference is to leave my money here.
         f) another item for the accountant as the rules around residency, pensions and citizenship are super complicated, particularly as my husband is American and may or may not get citizenship based on the outcome of the tax discussion.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: CrustyBadger on February 18, 2018, 06:25:16 AM
Just saw this thread and posting to follow!

My husband and I did all these things about 15 years ago after the birth of our first child, but our wills never even mention the second child and our situation has changed considerably.

We have a lot of complicated things to work out (husband is severely disabled and on disability retirement/SSDI) but we also have some less complicated things I should be able to work on realatively quickly.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: BrakeForTurtles on February 20, 2018, 09:48:56 AM
I'm making an appointment this week to sort this all out with a lawyer. I have decided to leave most of my assets to charities, as my high-earning DH will be fine without me, we have no children, and my sister is also a higher earner (I might leave her my personal finance books and maybe buy a lifelong membership to YNAB for her).

When listing charities, do you have to notify them in any way? Or can you just put them down and then leave it to the executor to work it out? I'm not even sure some of the places I have in mind accept donations, so should I confirm with them first?
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: cchrissyy on February 20, 2018, 10:35:55 AM
most charities have somebody on staff to help you put this in your will properly, but also they would help the executor. i'm sure it's preferable if you contact them in advance.

as far as not leaving money to your high earning sibling or spouse, please do consider what your wishes would be if circumstances changed. what if, years down the line, you pass away and they aren't high earners at the time? like if the economy tanked and they were aid off? or if they had become sick or disabled as the years passed?  if your wishes would be different in that case then have your will written now in a way that deals with it.  or what if you pass away in a accident (car? fire?) that also severely injures your spouse?  are your wishes different in that case?
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Mezzie on February 20, 2018, 10:49:22 AM
I keep meaning to do this, but I keep putting it off.

I have some other big things to attend to this summer, so I should get the following done as well:

- Write a real will with a lawyer (right now I have a piece of paper).
- Make a secure document with passwords, bill instructions, lists of various insurances to collect upon my death/disability for my husband and give access to my sister and brother who tend to have level heads in a crisis. That's on paper, too, but without complete passwords.
- Update the secondary beneficiaries on our accounts to include new humans in our extended family.
- Decide who to give power of attorney to in the event my husband cannot fill that role. I'm leaning towards my little brother or my unofficial daughter if one of them is willing (we have no children)
- Set up funeral plans. We know what we want and where. I've even looked up the cost and payment plans, and they are reasonable. I don't want anyone to have to stress out about that.
- Update my living will and do not resuscitate orders.
- Hire a hitman to smother me with a pillow if I get completely lost in dementia (the death with dignity laws should allow this).


Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Sibley on February 20, 2018, 12:59:30 PM
Progress! Met with the attorney yesterday to sign everything. Just need to take one thing to be recorded, and of course the County is closed on President's day. So I will get that done. Was too cheap to have the attorney's office do it and pay them the $30, in addition to the recording fees.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: netskyblue on February 23, 2018, 11:02:51 AM
I applied for life insurance in November, they did my medical exam in December, and I've been waiting for them to get the requested medical records from my health care providers ever since.  We're almost into March...
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Bicycle_B on February 23, 2018, 11:08:03 AM
Making progress on current goal of completing physical therapy in order to qualify for long term care insurance.  Target date end March, though that's fuzzy.

Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: grilledcheese on February 23, 2018, 11:49:11 AM
I so need this thread. I started the process to do my will many years ago, and stalled when we couldn't decide on a guardian for our kids. So instead, we have nothing. I've been sticking my head in the sand on this one.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: kaleidoscopicalkris on February 23, 2018, 12:00:34 PM
PTF! I got married last year and need to push forward with making sure everything goes to my wife, and work out what happens if we both pass.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: N on February 23, 2018, 10:50:36 PM
Well,  all of our will and trust paperwork is almost done. I expect that we will be able to get it signed this coming week and notarized.

I will still need to work on emergency preparedness: Go Bags and having important docs/info in a safe place. I actually might get a safe :)

Im really glad Im getting this sorted out.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Finances_With_Purpose on February 24, 2018, 12:44:46 AM
All covered here.  But dropping by to say I support this initiative and this thread.  Good idea, all!  I have watched love ones go through end-of-life (and seen it done well); doing this is helping those you care about. 
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: joonifloofeefloo on March 15, 2018, 08:42:04 AM
Also all covered here, but joining because I need to update almost all of them now.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: N on March 24, 2018, 10:06:35 PM
Well,  all of our will and trust paperwork is almost done. I expect that we will be able to get it signed this coming week and notarized.

I will still need to work on emergency preparedness: Go Bags and having important docs/info in a safe place. I actually might get a safe :)

Im really glad Im getting this sorted out.

YAY! WE DID IT!!
Wills and Trusts and Guardian Documents are all signed and notarized. Got it done today. I bought a safe! I need to make a copy and send to my dad (who is also my lawyer for now).

Working on 72 Hr Go bags. I have to make at least 4, so that is a lot. I should probably also consider one for the car and one for my husband to have at work.  I made a checklist and will plan to keep picking up a few things at a time until its all collected.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: joonifloofeefloo on March 24, 2018, 10:09:49 PM
Well done, N!!!
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: zygote on March 26, 2018, 09:43:19 AM
I got married last year, so putting a will together was on the forefront of my mind before I even saw this thread. Glad to have the extra encouragement.

After a disaster where my house is currently so messy I didn't even realize that the draft of my will was mailed to me three weeks ago (see: the decluttering thread), I read it over and talked through some minor changes with the lawyer this morning. Going in to sign it on April 10th.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Rimu05 on March 30, 2018, 04:57:54 PM
Hey, thanks for the reminder! I have a folder on my computer called “It’s Time to Adult” where I have drafted a POA, Will, Pour-Over Trust, and Living Will, but haven’t actually executed everything in it yet. So I need to get on that.

Me: 27F Attorney.
Status: Single.
Net Worth: -3k.

• Have a POA drafted but not executed.
• Have a will drafted but not executed.
• Have a pour over trust drafted but not executed.
• Have a living will/advanced directive drafted but not executed.
• Term life insurance needs additional blood work before they will finalize my policy.

I guess I should keep all of my financial accounts, passwords, medical cards and information, and other important info somewhere but I’m not sure where at this point. May be time to invest in a safe deposit box. I’m sure one of my banks will give a discounted or free SDP based on my assets. But I’m also thinking I should just make a binder and keep it at home just in case.

I'm a year younger but you have me wondering at what age one is supposed to do this? My networth is -20K so I am not sure how any of this will benefit me. Which makes me wonder, at what age should I be getting life insurance and drafting wills?
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Goldielocks on March 30, 2018, 05:26:20 PM
Term Life insurance
-- get it if your income supports someone else and they rely on it in some way.

Disability insurance - get it if you rely on being able to earn an income for many more years
-- does your future self rely on your ability to make income for the next 10-25 years?.

Wills
-- need one if you have a minor or dependent.  Period.  To declare who will take care of them.   Creating a guessing game when you die that requires government is not recommended.
-- need one if you don't like how the government will divide up your assets and take an admin fee while doing so... such as if you live with a (not spouse) partner who may be excluded from any assets or ability to remain in your current home after you die.  Most single people are ok with the government rules.  But maybe you don't want your estranged parent to get your savings..

Living Will / Health Directive
-- just a great idea to name someone who will make medical decisions if you can't (car accident / stroke), and someone who will be able to access / handle your accounts if you are medically incabable (pay your rent while you are in hospital in a coma).  If you don't care, well, then you don't care..
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: lexde on April 01, 2018, 05:59:59 PM
Hey, thanks for the reminder! I have a folder on my computer called “It’s Time to Adult” where I have drafted a POA, Will, Pour-Over Trust, and Living Will, but haven’t actually executed everything in it yet. So I need to get on that.

Me: 27F Attorney.
Status: Single.
Net Worth: -3k.

• Have a POA drafted but not executed.
• Have a will drafted but not executed.
• Have a pour over trust drafted but not executed.
• Have a living will/advanced directive drafted but not executed.
• Term life insurance needs additional blood work before they will finalize my policy.

I guess I should keep all of my financial accounts, passwords, medical cards and information, and other important info somewhere but I’m not sure where at this point. May be time to invest in a safe deposit box. I’m sure one of my banks will give a discounted or free SDP based on my assets. But I’m also thinking I should just make a binder and keep it at home just in case.

I'm a year younger but you have me wondering at what age one is supposed to do this? My networth is -20K so I am not sure how any of this will benefit me. Which makes me wonder, at what age should I be getting life insurance and drafting wills?
Well, obligatory "this is not legal advice if you're looking for actual legal advice please seek an attorney who is licensed in your state, preferably who has experience in wills, trusts, and/or estate planning."  Whew. Okay.

So, the short answer (as with 99% of legal advice type answers) is "it depends." I have very limited information about your situation so I can't tell you specifically what you should look at getting. But it really depends on your situation. Don't wait until you feel like you need these items. I drafted mine when I was -30K in debt, because I wanted to have some say in what happens to my things. I made the mistake of not finalizing them until much later, though, and I feel so much better with a life insurance policy etc. in place.

1. Term life insurance - I got this because I have a long-term SO who I split all of my bills with. If you aren't married or have kids/dependents, this isn't as important, but I wanted to be sure that my SO and close family were okay if I passed and couldn't provide any help to them anymore (even if I don't regularly support them). I got $750K of coverage for $320/year. This is worth it to me.

2. Disability insurance - I chose not to get this, but it's up to you, and you should have it if married/dependents, otherwise it's optional. Some people carry it just until they FIRE since they can usually self-insure at that point.

3. Wills - I have one because I have a dog, and certain items I want to be sure go to certain people. I don't have much, but I would like to make sure that my dog and enough money to take care of her go to the right person. I'm not married and don't have kids, but I think everyone should have a will even if it's just for their funeral wishes and to give someone their car/furniture/whatever. Your will can get more complex as you gain assets, but even a basic one is something I think everyone should have. Google "[Your State] Intestate Distribution" to see who would get all of your stuff if you pass without a will. Usually, it goes: all to spouse, then if they aren't alive/you don't have one, all to your kids, then your parents, then your siblings, then your grandparents, then your great-grandparents, then aunt/uncles, etc. So if you absolutely don't want a will for some reason, then make sure you're 100% okay with the intestate order.

4. Power of Attorney - I have this because I know that my medical POA will follow my wishes to take me off of life support if the situation calls for it, and most people would have a really hard time doing that. Financial POA, too, because I know that person will manage my finances while I am incapacitated and will be reasonable.

5. Living Will - Especially if you're a woman I think this is important. I have a list of my wishes for life support, what level of care I am willing to undergo, for how long, with what prognosis, etc. and because I am female, I have the exact same list with changes if I happen to be pregnant at the time of my incapacitation. While I don't plan on having kids, I still want to consider all possibilities and maintain some control over my life in the event that I am braindead/in a coma/severely disabled/TBI.

Now, the extent to which you want to control these things is up to you. But I don't think having a negative net worth, or being young, should deter you. You can always update them, but getting them done first is always the hardest step.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: CrustyBadger on April 02, 2018, 07:48:56 AM
I think everyone who earns a salary should get short term and long term disability insurance regardless of whether anyone is dependent on them.  If your work offers a sick leave bank or you have a lot of sick leave banked up you might be able to do without short term disability  if you have a decent emergency fund, but if you are young the cost of disability insurance is really affordable.

Some people just assume that if they becomes disabled, they will qualify for government programs, but in the US at least it takes quite a while to get SSDI, and many people are denied the first time they apply.   
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: CrustyBadger on April 10, 2018, 04:06:45 PM
I spent part of today gathering up information about all my various pension plans.  In my career I have worked long enough to vest in a couple different plans in different school districts.  Nothing much in any one place, but it all adds up.  I found my different account numbers, located everything online and created online accounts with each of them to be able to update information online.  Several of the accounts still only have my maiden name so I printed out forms to update those and will send them in with certified copies of my marriage certificate.  I also need to update my beneficiaries as I wasn't married when I had these jobs and my parents are still listed as my beneficiaries!

This is a thing that has been on my mind for years but I never got around to doing it.  Seemed overwhelming to me but I got it all done in less than an hour.   
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: joonifloofeefloo on April 10, 2018, 05:24:02 PM
Nice going, CrustyBadger!!!

So often what we think will be endless or too hard is neither :)
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: CrustyBadger on April 10, 2018, 05:42:14 PM
Nice going, CrustyBadger!!!

So often what we think will be endless or too hard is neither :)

Indeed!!   In particular, so often what I think will require many frustrating phone calls, has been automated and put online!

I have always had a mild phone phobia.  I could make phone calls, just really really didn't like to.   Since my husband became disabled I have had to make a ton of phone calls on his behalf, and I think I've finally gotten over the inhibition.  Even so, when things are available online, it just makes it that much more convenient to get the taken care of.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: mspym on April 11, 2018, 01:51:55 AM
Ran the numbers and made the call to Vanguard yesterday about changing from the retail to the wholesale funds (not automatic in Australia). Even if I hit some capital gains tax, it pays for itself  by the time I FIRE and leaves me an additional year of living expenses by the time I can access Super. Printed out the form today, and I'll add the tax implications to the list I am handing off to the accountant at EOFY.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: asauer on April 11, 2018, 06:15:56 AM
I feel very adult.  Updated our wills/ estate plan this week and got 10 year term life.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Villanelle on April 14, 2018, 10:16:46 PM
I am going to talk to DH about decreasing at least my life insurance.  (I'd likely decrease his as well, but I know that will be a much harder sell for him.)  I'm now--due to a move overseas--an unemployed housewife.  I'm in my early 40s.  We have no kids.  If I die, DH won't have the option of not working for a while, even if he wanted to, because he is in the military.  I think I have $400,000 in insurance.  Most of that is very cheap ($100k for $6.50/mo,), but I believe at least some of it is unnecessary.  I am going to propose dropping everything except that cheap $100k policy.  Access to that does go away when he leaves the military, however.  (This will probably happen in ~6 years, but could be longer.  Unlikely to be shorter.) That is going to be the part that will be tough to sell him on.  But in reality, I don't think there's any need for any insurance on me.  I'm certainly not a profligate spender, but I spend more than he does, so he will actually come out ahead without the financial drag of a non-working spouse!

We'll see how it goes.  If he's receptive, I'll broach the subject of decreasing his, too.  He has a whole life policy and a term policy and I am dreading having to wade through canceling or reducing the whole life, but it will be worth it if I can get him on board.  I definitely need for him to have insurance, but not that much. 
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: iris lily on September 10, 2018, 08:36:46 PM
Good one. This is actually doubly important for my partner and I because we're not legally married (and probably won't be anytime soon), but we do have a kid. So we need to be extra diligent about filing paperwork with the courts to establish legal and physical joint custody. It appears that per our state laws, he is considered the legal father (we did file the extra paperwork to do that at the hospital), but as the (single) mother I'm presumed to have sole physical custody unless we file a custody arrangement with the courts that says otherwise. We live together so in practical terms it's a moot point but if I died in a car crash tomorrow our child would have no custodian. Yikes.

Calling the attorney tomorrow!

So, did you actually meet with an attorney and get it all set up?  Please tell me you did.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: meerkat on September 11, 2018, 05:56:54 AM
Thanks for bumping this thread iris lily!

Posting for accountability - need to get emergency supply stash re-established after our kitchen reno.

- Shelf stable food
- Water for all household occupants
- BOB including copies of important documents, cash
- Reassess our flashlight situation
- Tiny BOB for kiddo (card holder thingy with pictures of relatives and their contact information along with some info for him)
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: iris lily on September 12, 2018, 10:35:09 AM
Well for accountability: we dispatched a pesky investment that was hanging out there, not part of our trust due to ridiculous amounts of paper I would have to file. I just cashed it in. DH is adamant that this will not affect our tax status for  ACA subsidies. We shall see.

the outstanding financial instuments we have to bring into the fold of our trust is company stock directly owned. Ugh. That will be a nightmare.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Poundwise on November 27, 2018, 10:40:35 AM
We've done nothing about our will so far, but we did take an important step by signing up for this legal plan that is part of a benefit of my husband's job. For a flat annual fee, we'll be able to take advantage of legal services to take care of all this stuff.  We'll also be able to hire somebody grieve our property taxes, extra important now that we lose so much of our deduction.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: meerkat on November 30, 2018, 12:05:29 PM
We've done nothing about our will so far, but we did take an important step by signing up for this legal plan that is part of a benefit of my husband's job. For a flat annual fee, we'll be able to take advantage of legal services to take care of all this stuff.  We'll also be able to hire somebody grieve our property taxes, extra important now that we lose so much of our deduction.

Check to see if they have something like a will making kit. Ours had a little workbook, we got two (one for each person that needed a will) and filled them out, sent them off, then had documents back a few weeks later ready for our signature and a notary.

Just don't be like me in that I had the service for MONTHS before we got around to actually doing that part, paying the monthly fee for nothing in the meantime.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: muckety_muck on December 08, 2018, 07:49:58 PM
Need to update all of our legal docs - our old ones don't include kid #2. oops.

Need to update our beneficiaries on 401ks/Rollover IRAs.

Look into a trust - I've heard this is good if one has young kids, but not sure if our situation fits.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Rosy on December 13, 2018, 11:10:13 AM
1. So, I am done thinking about who I will leave what to and I am giving up on trying to control what happens after my death. (sheesh)
I had a bit of a health scare and all I could think about is that I haven't ordered my affairs. So now I am super motivated.

2. Beneficiaries and POD (point of death) papers on all my accounts were done in 2018, but I need to make one change in Jan and also add a POD to an old account that I don't intend to ever close. Seemed hardly worth to do for this one account but then I realized it is better to make no exceptions, especially since the balance does vary.

3. Found an attorney that appears to have reasonable rates and will call for an appointment today.
4. Working on updating my/our BOB.
5. Will finish writing letters this Dec 2018 - one with all instructions and three to go to the people in my will.

Wondering what happens with the car? Presently there is a car loan - so the bank holds the title for a few more months. Is there a way for the car to go to my son automatically? Can this only be done via the will or would it be better to just "sell" it to him?
What does the bank do with a car when it is not fully paid off at the time of death?

6. Calling the consulate in January to find out what if any complications I can expect and need to account for. I read somewhere that if domicile is firmly established in the US - then US inheritance laws prevail. Germany is quite different, but then again, I might have dual citizenship by then and I am wondering how that will impact even a very small inheritance.

I find this all rather daunting, but maybe reading all the links in this thread and speaking with the lawyer will help and clarify some of the steps.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Poundwise on December 13, 2018, 05:42:19 PM
We've done nothing about our will so far, but we did take an important step by signing up for this legal plan that is part of a benefit of my husband's job. For a flat annual fee, we'll be able to take advantage of legal services to take care of all this stuff.  We'll also be able to hire somebody grieve our property taxes, extra important now that we lose so much of our deduction.

Check to see if they have something like a will making kit. Ours had a little workbook, we got two (one for each person that needed a will) and filled them out, sent them off, then had documents back a few weeks later ready for our signature and a notary.

Just don't be like me in that I had the service for MONTHS before we got around to actually doing that part, paying the monthly fee for nothing in the meantime.

Just saw this today... thanks, @meerkat! Our old will was done using Suze Orman software but we have more assets and more kids since then. And no worries, we are going to use that legal service very well... have to grieve property taxes, pursue a nonpaying client, etc. 
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Goldielocks on December 13, 2018, 06:03:56 PM
1. So, I am done thinking about who I will leave what to and I am giving up on trying to control what happens after my death. (sheesh)
I had a bit of a health scare and all I could think about is that I haven't ordered my affairs. So now I am super motivated.

2. Beneficiaries and POD (point of death) papers on all my accounts were done in 2018, but I need to make one change in Jan and also add a POD to an old account that I don't intend to ever close. Seemed hardly worth to do for this one account but then I realized it is better to make no exceptions, especially since the balance does vary.

3. Found an attorney that appears to have reasonable rates and will call for an appointment today.
4. Working on updating my/our BOB.
5. Will finish writing letters this Dec 2018 - one with all instructions and three to go to the people in my will.
 
Wondering what happens with the car? Presently there is a car loan - so the bank holds the title for a few more months. Is there a way for the car to go to my son automatically? Can this only be done via the will or would it be better to just "sell" it to him?
What does the bank do with a car when it is not fully paid off at the time of death?

6. Calling the consulate in January to find out what if any complications I can expect and need to account for. I read somewhere that if domicile is firmly established in the US - then US inheritance laws prevail. Germany is quite different, but then again, I might have dual citizenship by then and I am wondering how that will impact even a very small inheritance.

I find this all rather daunting, but maybe reading all the links in this thread and speaking with the lawyer will help and clarify some of the steps.
I am a financial planner, not a lawyer, and this is free internet person advice, and worth about the same....

1-3   Awesome.
4) I don't know what a BOB is (beneficiary?)   sounds like it is good, though.
5)  Ensure that your will and letters don't contradict your beneficiary designations.  Your lawyer should cover this for you, ideally you would hand over the letters at the time they are preparing your will, for a quick check.
Also, note that the will, if dated newer, could over ride investment declared beneficiaries... or vice versa, in future.
6)   Any property of a deceased person is subject to US Estate tax laws if:

A) the value of the US domiciled property (real estate, car, investments in US banks, bank accounts) is over $60k USD AND
b) your total estate worldwide is over the Estate tax exemption limit...   which just rose to 11.2 Million, but will fall back down to 5 million in a few years.

Estate tax in the USA is 40%... so you DON'T want to hold assets over $60k in the USA if you are at all close to $5 million in worldwide assets.... especially as each elected government can change the limit quickly and suddenly on you.

c)  there are also probate costs to account for and distribute the US assets, if needed, which can be relatively costly as well.

CAR
Generally, the bank will call any loans, including a car loan, when the deceased dies, and the estate needs to pay all creditors before paying out the estate.     If there is not enough cash to cover the loans, the assets are sold, as determined by the executor / executrix.   Depending on the loan, it may be attached only and solely to the car title, so the car could be repossesed per the loan documents if the debt is not repaid upon demand, in the specified timeframe. Note that if the estate is tied up in probate, they may not be able to release the funds in time, so the car would be repossessed, if that is what the loan docs state.  You need to check your car loan documents to determine what happens in default or death.  They will state it clearly.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Rosy on December 14, 2018, 05:22:01 PM
Thank you so much Goldie:). That helps me moving forward, I'll investigate further.
I'll dig into the loan papers for the car.

BOB is something different - preparedness in case of a disaster - refers to a Bug Out Bag in case of an emergency if you need to leave immediately in case of a hurricane or fire for instance. We live in hurricane country and I know someone personally whose house dropped into a huge sinkhole.
One bag, plastic box or small suitcase for each person to grab in a hurry.

It contains food and water for at least 72 hours, emergency radio, flashlights, first aid kit, medicines, prescriptions, a couple of changes of clothing, sturdy shoes and jacket, extra underwear, valuables-expensive jewelry and of course a list of your contacts, banks, credit card info - passwords, investments, important papers like Social Security Card, birth cert., passports, pictures-videos of your house - each room, open the closet and open the china cabinet even the fridge and kitchen cabinets.
Basically an inventory for the insurance company etc or possibly FEMA.

In any case, cash incl. lots of small denominations (ATMs may not work and banks will be closed) and coins for snacks and coffee from the machine and extra gasoline...
On the first page of this thread there are a ton of links.
We have one for our cat too - carrier, blanket, food dish, food and extra water and disposable cat litter containers - as well as pictures of him in case we lose him, his shot records and a harness so he doesn't go stir crazy since he is an indoor-outdoor cat.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Rosy on January 08, 2019, 01:39:20 PM
Yay - I saw my lawyer today and hope to have everything sorted soon.

Besides, I wanted to bump this thread for the New Year - let's all get our shit together in 2019!
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: FireLane on April 01, 2019, 07:09:53 PM
This is such a good idea for a thread. DS is a year old and Mrs. FL and I have no excuse for not having our wills made out yet. Neither of us is planning to die any time soon, but if anything did happen to us, we need to make sure he'll be taken care of.

We really need to make an appointment with a lawyer and sort this out. Hopefully, this thread title popping up in my unread-posts list whenever I log on will be the prodding I need to get it done in 2018.

Well, I meant to get this done in 2018 and that didn't happen... but I'm happy to say it's done now!

We've been exchanging e-mails with a lawyer friend for months. We told him our wishes, he pointed out some things we hadn't considered, and this week we finally met with him and got the papers signed. I'm still not planning to die any time soon, but it's a weight off my shoulders knowing that it's done at last.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: mspym on April 01, 2019, 08:38:55 PM
@FireLane High five! That's great!
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: ForeverPoor on April 01, 2019, 09:09:41 PM
Have always had voluntary life insurance maxed due to my employer but haven't touched any of the others listed in topic... maybe it's time I visit them.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: FIRE_at_45 on April 01, 2019, 10:49:45 PM
I wrote my damn will and got it freaking done!  Woohoo! 
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Hula Hoop on April 02, 2019, 03:02:04 AM
Good for you, FIRE at 45!

I have a basic question.  My father in New York State already has a will but now he wants to do a POA and a living will with me the person with the POA etc.  However, I live in Italy.  Can he execute the document without my presence?  Or does he have to wait until I visit him next time probably this summer?
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: CrustyBadger on April 02, 2019, 04:39:58 AM
@Hula Hoop I am guessing that he could send you a copy of the PDA and the Living Will, and you could sign them in the presence of a Notary Public. You can find one at the US Embassy.

https://it.usembassy.gov/u-s-citizen-services/notarial-services/
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Hula Hoop on April 02, 2019, 06:51:22 AM
Thanks, CB.  I'll look into that.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Goldielocks on April 04, 2019, 01:11:45 AM
I just reduced DH and my life insurance to $100k on each of us.   Deep breath.

Baby steps.   We jumped into the next higher cost band this year, so I am just dropping it to keep costs constant.  Technically, we should be able to self-fund, because we are pretty much FIRED on a fraction of our prior incomes, youngest kid will be 17 soon and we have their education funds sorted out. 

For some reason, I like the insurance safety net... hard habit to shake once you have it.

I will have to update the wills once the youngest is no longer a minor.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: FIRE_at_45 on April 04, 2019, 07:31:30 AM
I just reduced DH and my life insurance to $100k on each of us.   Deep breath.

Baby steps.   We jumped into the next higher cost band this year, so I am just dropping it to keep costs constant.  Technically, we should be able to self-fund, because we are pretty much FIRED on a fraction of our prior incomes, youngest kid will be 17 soon and we have their education funds sorted out. 

For some reason, I like the insurance safety net... hard habit to shake once you have it.

I will have to update the wills once the youngest is no longer a minor.

Interesting.  I've self insured for years now. 
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Goldielocks on April 04, 2019, 05:15:47 PM
I just reduced DH and my life insurance to $100k on each of us.   Deep breath.

Baby steps.   We jumped into the next higher cost band this year, so I am just dropping it to keep costs constant.  Technically, we should be able to self-fund, because we are pretty much FIRED on a fraction of our prior incomes, youngest kid will be 17 soon and we have their education funds sorted out. 

For some reason, I like the insurance safety net... hard habit to shake once you have it.

I will have to update the wills once the youngest is no longer a minor.

Interesting.  I've self insured for years now.
Glad to hear others have the same approach to getting self-insured eventually.   We were up at $450k each 3 years ago, and I have so much trouble going cold turkey with a huge mortgage, still.  (Mortgage value is much larger than the insurance).   It is one of the hidden costs of "Don't pay off your mortgage club"...   At some level, when you have large expenses (mortgage), you still want insurance, even if you could self-insure.   If we paid down the mortgage and have smaller investments, I think I would get rid of the life insurance, which is not logical, but there you go.

Not sure how I feel about other types of insurance,  I am at a $1million coverage for liabiity (professional / 3rd party car insurance).  When you have FIRE assets, you want some protection, you know?  Anyway, that is a different thread from life insurance / wills.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: FIRE_at_45 on April 04, 2019, 09:10:05 PM
Glad to hear others have the same approach to getting self-insured eventually.   We were up at $450k each 3 years ago, and I have so much trouble going cold turkey with a huge mortgage, still.  (Mortgage value is much larger than the insurance).   It is one of the hidden costs of "Don't pay off your mortgage club"...   At some level, when you have large expenses (mortgage), you still want insurance, even if you could self-insure.   If we paid down the mortgage and have smaller investments, I think I would get rid of the life insurance, which is not logical, but there you go.

Not sure how I feel about other types of insurance,  I am at a $1million coverage for liabiity (professional / 3rd party car insurance).  When you have FIRE assets, you want some protection, you know?  Anyway, that is a different thread from life insurance / wills.

That makes sense if your life insurance is allowing you to safely leverage yourself.  We live in a very HCOL area and not owning eliminates that risk for me. 
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: mspym on April 04, 2019, 09:37:30 PM
I just changed over my super provider and dropped my life insurance at the same time to just what is included by the fund. We have no mortgage, and we have both super and investments we could draw on so it was scary but also just done now.

I think my last item on my list is writing my will.
Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: letsdoit on April 17, 2019, 09:12:16 AM
we have wills POA and extra life insurance.  $1 mill umbrella insurance for $200/yr

mine extra life insurance is not cheap bc i'm a man (i know i'm getting ripped off bc i'm so healthy)
but i still have it for my kids. 

i tried to renegotiate car insurance but have not succeeded yet

Title: Re: Get Your Shit Together! Wills, living wills, POAs, life insurance, etc.
Post by: Poundwise on April 28, 2019, 06:27:34 PM
I called a lawyer last week and left a message saying we'd like to update our will.

Her office called back left a message on my machine.

My move!