Words/phrases I wish would go away

[GreenSheep]

"Source" as a verb. For a company, it doesn't sound too terrible, but for a person, it sounds like a weird way to avoid saying "buy." A restaurant might source their ingredients from various local farmers, but a person making dinner at home buys their tomatoes at the farmers market.

I wish there were a thread like this for Spanish. I'm learning Spanish, and it would be great to know what words and phrases are overused or annoying!

[Metalcat]

"Source" as a verb. For a company, it doesn't sound too terrible, but for a person, it sounds like a weird way to avoid saying "buy." A restaurant might source their ingredients from various local farmers, but a person making dinner at home buys their tomatoes at the farmers market.

I wish there were a thread like this for Spanish. I'm learning Spanish, and it would be great to know what words and phrases are overused or annoying!

It makes sense because it's a business, and in business sourcing and procurement are separate processes.

[Bloop Bloop Reloaded]

Everything about restaurant menus tends to annoy me

[nereo]

Everything about restaurant menus tends to annoy me

huh?  What about restaurant menus annoys you?  Most seem pretty effective to me — they tell me what they make, what’s in it, what it costs and it tends to be organized in a logical manner.

How should they be different?

[Dicey]

Everything about restaurant menus tends to annoy me

huh?  What about restaurant menus annoys you?  Most seem pretty effective to me — they tell me what they make, what’s in it, what it costs and it tends to be organized in a logical manner.

How should they be different?

Consider the source.

[Bloop Bloop Reloaded]

Overblown language and unnecessarily complicated descriptions, mainly.

I mean menus at a certain type of restaurant.

I've got no issue with McDonald's menus.

[nereo]

Overblown language and unnecessarily complicated descriptions, mainly.

I mean menus at a certain type of restaurant.

I've got no issue with McDonald's menus.

Can you give an example?  Maybe menus tend to be different in Australia.

Now that you bring it up, I’ve found McDonald’s many to be frustrating because it’s all flatscreens now and rolling ads, so as I try to read the menu it suddenly changes. I guess most people who war there just know what they sell, but as it’s really infrequent for us that’s not the case.

[shelivesthedream]

I am bothered by restaurant menus that have what seems to me to be a full description of the dish with a list of all the major ingredients, and then it arrives and there's loads of extra stuff. I can't eat onion or garlic, and often it's covered in onion bits or with a garlic drizzle or whatever. But it's an intolerance not an allergy, and I don't want to have to limit myself to food which has never even looked at an allium if it's something I can pick out or it's just a trace amount or a sauce I can ask that they leave off. I therefore have to ask waiters to describe the presence and presentation of garlic and onion in a dish in detail while assuring them that it's not an allergy and they don't need to make any special arrangements.

I am fun at restaurants.

[Dicey]

Overblown language and unnecessarily complicated descriptions, mainly.

I mean menus at a certain type of restaurant.

I've got no issue with McDonald's menus.

The prize winner for simplicity in the Western US is In & Out. The menu is very straightforward, but there are ton of insider "secret" options. Animal style, anyone?

https://www.in-n-out.com/menu/not-so-secret-menu

https://www.seriouseats.com/the-in-n-out-survival-guide-we-ate-every-single-item-on-the-secret-menu

Bonus link for any SoCal old-timers:

http://timcastro.blogspot.com/2009/09/in-n-out-thats-what-bumper-sticker-is.html

[Metalcat]

Overblown language and unnecessarily complicated descriptions, mainly.

I mean menus at a certain type of restaurant.

I've got no issue with McDonald's menus.

I'm 100% with you, some of the restaurants around here have such absurd descriptions of things, the waiters basically need to translate them into plain language in order to be able to decide.

And I'm a former chef, so it takes a lot to irritate me with culinary language, but many places do.

[Paul der Krake]

I think Bloop is referring to the menus at the hip restaurants? You know the type. I regularly get dragged to those by She Who Must Be Obeyed.

Sometimes they throw in obscure French words that I, a native speaker, do not know. I'm all for rich and precise language, but come on.

[BlueHouse]

Overblown language and unnecessarily complicated descriptions, mainly.

I mean menus at a certain type of restaurant.

I've got no issue with McDonald's menus.

there's a realtor in DC who writes very different listings.  Some people love it, others hate it.  I don't have much of an opinion on it other than I think it's tiresome to try to read more than one listing of his.   

here's an example of one of his listings:

Dream House, truly sublime, narcotic light on a fine timeless finish, hypnotic sights while your mind's eye takes flight into endlessly soaring ceiling heights, skillfully built in 2016, a custom machine outfitted with wings, gently test driven so the part you’ve been given, start living in art on a tree-lined street beneath the shadow of the dome where neighbors still greet, an amazing home, a domestic retreat, so city-central with a little village disposition.

https://realestateindc.com/node/901

[Metalcat]

Overblown language and unnecessarily complicated descriptions, mainly.

I mean menus at a certain type of restaurant.

I've got no issue with McDonald's menus.

there's a realtor in DC who writes very different listings.  Some people love it, others hate it.  I don't have much of an opinion on it other than I think it's tiresome to try to read more than one listing of his.   

here's an example of one of his listings:

Dream House, truly sublime, narcotic light on a fine timeless finish, hypnotic sights while your mind's eye takes flight into endlessly soaring ceiling heights, skillfully built in 2016, a custom machine outfitted with wings, gently test driven so the part you’ve been given, start living in art on a tree-lined street beneath the shadow of the dome where neighbors still greet, an amazing home, a domestic retreat, so city-central with a little village disposition.

https://realestateindc.com/node/901

Lol, my sister was just hired to write listings for cars as if they were dating profiles.

[Chaplin]

Overblown language and unnecessarily complicated descriptions, mainly.

I mean menus at a certain type of restaurant.

I've got no issue with McDonald's menus.

there's a realtor in DC who writes very different listings.  Some people love it, others hate it.  I don't have much of an opinion on it other than I think it's tiresome to try to read more than one listing of his.   

here's an example of one of his listings:

Dream House, truly sublime, narcotic light on a fine timeless finish, hypnotic sights while your mind's eye takes flight into endlessly soaring ceiling heights, skillfully built in 2016, a custom machine outfitted with wings, gently test driven so the part you’ve been given, start living in art on a tree-lined street beneath the shadow of the dome where neighbors still greet, an amazing home, a domestic retreat, so city-central with a little village disposition.

https://realestateindc.com/node/901

Compared to the listings I see here, that's a breath of fresh air. Here, the ads are so full of grammatical errors, tropes, and words-that-don't-mean-what-they-thought-they-meant that I'm forced to conclude that many realtors ended up in that field because they weren't fit for anything else.

[GreenSheep]

I was once at a restaurant in which the menu noted that a particular dish contained "orchard apples." I know apple trees do exist outside of orchards, say, as a solitary tree in someone's yard, but it's unlikely those apples would end up at a restaurant, so... it's safe to say most restaurant apples come from an orchard. It was just such an obvious attempt to get the reader to imagine an orchard with apples growing on the trees, etc. and make an emotionally-influenced decision to choose that dish -- but provided nothing useful about the flavor or the way the dish was cooked.

Also annoying... anything described as "fresh" at a restaurant. Assuming it's not dehydrated or somehow otherwise preserved for long-term storage... shouldn't "fresh" go without saying?!

[Metalcat]

I was once at a restaurant in which the menu noted that a particular dish contained "orchard apples." I know apple trees do exist outside of orchards, say, as a solitary tree in someone's yard, but it's unlikely those apples would end up at a restaurant, so... it's safe to say most restaurant apples come from an orchard. It was just such an obvious attempt to get the reader to imagine an orchard with apples growing on the trees, etc. and make an emotionally-influenced decision to choose that dish -- but provided nothing useful about the flavor or the way the dish was cooked.

Also annoying... anything described as "fresh" at a restaurant. Assuming it's not dehydrated or somehow otherwise preserved for long-term storage... shouldn't "fresh" go without saying?!

Oooh, this reminds me of one of my favourite stories.

I was at an event with a bunch of diplomatic staff, and chatting with one of the douchiest men I've ever met. Anyhoo, he finds out my family is from Denmark and then proceeds to educate me that pickled herring is popular in Denmark (oh wow, I didn't know that about my own culture), but that he only eats it when over there because you just can't get it fresh here.

...Pickled

...Herring

......PICKLED!

[nereo]

INteresting.  You folks have opened my eyes to all different styles of menus. 

Maybe it’s being outside a large, hip market, or just the places we tend to frequent (if you can call 1-2x/mo pre-COVID “frequent”) but most menus I’ve encounter are pretty straightforward: name of the dish, followed by a sentence basically listing the major ingredients and preparation style. 

[Bloop Bloop Reloaded]

I think Bloop is referring to the menus at the hip restaurants? You know the type. I regularly get dragged to those by She Who Must Be Obeyed.

Sometimes they throw in obscure French words that I, a native speaker, do not know. I'm all for rich and precise language, but come on.

Everything is drenched in jus

[Bloop Bloop Reloaded]

Overblown language and unnecessarily complicated descriptions, mainly.

I mean menus at a certain type of restaurant.

I've got no issue with McDonald's menus.

there's a realtor in DC who writes very different listings.  Some people love it, others hate it.  I don't have much of an opinion on it other than I think it's tiresome to try to read more than one listing of his.   

here's an example of one of his listings:

Dream House, truly sublime, narcotic light on a fine timeless finish, hypnotic sights while your mind's eye takes flight into endlessly soaring ceiling heights, skillfully built in 2016, a custom machine outfitted with wings, gently test driven so the part you’ve been given, start living in art on a tree-lined street beneath the shadow of the dome where neighbors still greet, an amazing home, a domestic retreat, so city-central with a little village disposition.

https://realestateindc.com/node/901

Lol, my sister was just hired to write listings for cars as if they were dating profiles.

12 years old, two previous owners, regularly serviced...

[Dollar Slice]

I think Bloop is referring to the menus at the hip restaurants? You know the type. I regularly get dragged to those by She Who Must Be Obeyed.

Sometimes they throw in obscure French words that I, a native speaker, do not know. I'm all for rich and precise language, but come on.

Everything is drenched in jus

My family went to a restaurant once (for a birthday or something) where almost every meat dish had "jus" but instead of a French pronunciation, the waitress pronounced it "Jew." My family is Jewish and we had a terrible time keeping a straight face while she recited all the specials. A lamb Jew, a roast beef Jew...

[nereo]

I think Bloop is referring to the menus at the hip restaurants? You know the type. I regularly get dragged to those by She Who Must Be Obeyed.

Sometimes they throw in obscure French words that I, a native speaker, do not know. I'm all for rich and precise language, but come on.

Everything is drenched in jus

My family went to a restaurant once (for a birthday or something) where almost every meat dish had "jus" but instead of a French pronunciation, the waitress pronounced it "Jew." My family is Jewish and we had a terrible time keeping a straight face while she recited all the specials. A lamb Jew, a roast beef Jew...

Pork Chop Jew?

[Dollar Slice]

I think Bloop is referring to the menus at the hip restaurants? You know the type. I regularly get dragged to those by She Who Must Be Obeyed.

Sometimes they throw in obscure French words that I, a native speaker, do not know. I'm all for rich and precise language, but come on.

Everything is drenched in jus

My family went to a restaurant once (for a birthday or something) where almost every meat dish had "jus" but instead of a French pronunciation, the waitress pronounced it "Jew." My family is Jewish and we had a terrible time keeping a straight face while she recited all the specials. A lamb Jew, a roast beef Jew...

Pork Chop Jew?

Luckily we don't keep kosher.

[RetiredAt63]

And it's not jus, it's au jus.  And the meat should be in French too if you are going to throw in au jus.

Agneau au jus pour moi, s'il vous plait.  Garni avec menthe.

[Paul der Krake]

I think Bloop is referring to the menus at the hip restaurants? You know the type. I regularly get dragged to those by She Who Must Be Obeyed.

Sometimes they throw in obscure French words that I, a native speaker, do not know. I'm all for rich and precise language, but come on.

Everything is drenched in jus

My family went to a restaurant once (for a birthday or something) where almost every meat dish had "jus" but instead of a French pronunciation, the waitress pronounced it "Jew." My family is Jewish and we had a terrible time keeping a straight face while she recited all the specials. A lamb Jew, a roast beef Jew...

Pork Chop Jew?

I've trying to get the wife to pronounce "u" the French way (ü) for close to 10 years now. No can. But I'd like to think she'd pronounce it more like "joo", not "jew". I'll have to manufacture a jussy situation to see how she does...

[Kris]

I think Bloop is referring to the menus at the hip restaurants? You know the type. I regularly get dragged to those by She Who Must Be Obeyed.

Sometimes they throw in obscure French words that I, a native speaker, do not know. I'm all for rich and precise language, but come on.

Everything is drenched in jus

My family went to a restaurant once (for a birthday or something) where almost every meat dish had "jus" but instead of a French pronunciation, the waitress pronounced it "Jew." My family is Jewish and we had a terrible time keeping a straight face while she recited all the specials. A lamb Jew, a roast beef Jew...

Pork Chop Jew?

I've trying to get the wife to pronounce "u" the French way (ü) for close to 10 years now. No can. But I'd like to think she'd pronounce it more like "joo", not "jew". I'll have to manufacture a jussy situation to see how she does...

Oh, lord. I was a professor of French for about twenty years in the US, and the struggle is real. Condolences.

[Dollar Slice]

I've trying to get the wife to pronounce "u" the French way (ü) for close to 10 years now. No can. But I'd like to think she'd pronounce it more like "joo", not "jew". I'll have to manufacture a jussy situation to see how she does...

It's really the hard 'j' causing the problem in this scenario.

[Kris]

I've trying to get the wife to pronounce "u" the French way (ü) for close to 10 years now. No can. But I'd like to think she'd pronounce it more like "joo", not "jew". I'll have to manufacture a jussy situation to see how she does...

It's really the hard 'j' causing the problem in this scenario.

It’s not. Americans can pronounce the soft “zh” just fine. It’s the /y/ versus the /u/ that is the problem. Americans have serious problems with /y/

[Dollar Slice]

I've trying to get the wife to pronounce "u" the French way (ü) for close to 10 years now. No can. But I'd like to think she'd pronounce it more like "joo", not "jew". I'll have to manufacture a jussy situation to see how she does...

It's really the hard 'j' causing the problem in this scenario.

It’s not. Americans can pronounce the soft “zh” just fine. It’s the /y/ versus the /u/ that is the problem. Americans have serious problems with /y/

I mean that was the problem in the scenario I described. If they had pronounced it with the incorrect vowel sound, no one would bat an eye. It's because they used the hard J that made it sound insane to us.

[Bloop Bloop Reloaded]

And it's not jus, it's au jus.  And the meat should be in French too if you are going to throw in au jus.

Agneau au jus pour moi, s'il vous plait.  Garni avec menthe.

I have seen a menu advertising "Beef with au jus" which I think is just an attempt to cause a stroke in grammar pedants like me.

Related to the above post, the soft J, hard J distinction does cause a lot of problems for speakers due to either under correction (like the waitress who pronounced "jus" as Jew) or hyper correction (like newsreaders who pronounce Beijing with a French J...not realising that the Chinese J is the same as the English J...)

[Travis]

Also annoying... anything described as "fresh" at a restaurant. Assuming it's not dehydrated or somehow otherwise preserved for long-term storage... shouldn't "fresh" go without saying?!

For very wide definitions of "fresh" up to and including "loaded with salt and reheated from a freezer."

[Dicey]

Also annoying... anything described as "fresh" at a restaurant. Assuming it's not dehydrated or somehow otherwise preserved for long-term storage... shouldn't "fresh" go without saying?!

For very wide definitions of "fresh" up to and including "loaded with salt and reheated from a freezer."

I always understood that to mean not frozen. At least by the time it gets to your table.

[shelivesthedream]

I was once at a restaurant in which the menu noted that a particular dish contained "orchard apples." I know apple trees do exist outside of orchards, say, as a solitary tree in someone's yard, but it's unlikely those apples would end up at a restaurant, so... it's safe to say most restaurant apples come from an orchard. It was just such an obvious attempt to get the reader to imagine an orchard with apples growing on the trees, etc. and make an emotionally-influenced decision to choose that dish -- but provided nothing useful about the flavor or the way the dish was cooked.

Also annoying... anything described as "fresh" at a restaurant. Assuming it's not dehydrated or somehow otherwise preserved for long-term storage... shouldn't "fresh" go without saying?!

Oh, I love stuff like "orchard apples"! Fantastic entertainment discussing what other kinds of apples there are, or all those river fish that don't live in "freshwater" (as opposed to salty sea water, farmed or not), or all that milk that's full of gluten, or all those potatoes grown somewhere other than fields.

[merula]

I have seen a menu advertising "Beef with au jus" which I think is just an attempt to cause a stroke in grammar pedants like me.

Related to the above post, the soft J, hard J distinction does cause a lot of problems for speakers due to either under correction (like the waitress who pronounced "jus" as Jew) or hyper correction (like newsreaders who pronounce Beijing with a French J...not realising that the Chinese J is the same as the English J...)

I've heard the Bei/y/ing thing from Brits, so I think it might be a British "French is fancy and educated", or if the speaker is from the Colonies, further mangled through "British is fancy and educated".

"With au jus" reminded me of visiting the Moorish palace in Granada, Spain. The romanized Arabic name is Al-Ḥamra, "The Red One", which is then rendered in Spanish as "La Alhambra".

And then I overheard some English speakers saying "The la alhambra".

[zolotiyeruki]

Lol, my sister was just hired to write listings for cars as if they were dating profiles.

12 years old, two previous owners, regularly serviced...

*snicker*  Dangit, man, I'm trying to work in a shared office here!

I have seen a menu advertising "Beef with au jus" which I think is just an attempt to cause a stroke in grammar pedants like me.

Related to the above post, the soft J, hard J distinction does cause a lot of problems for speakers due to either under correction (like the waitress who pronounced "jus" as Jew) or hyper correction (like newsreaders who pronounce Beijing with a French J...not realising that the Chinese J is the same as the English J...)

I've heard the Bei/y/ing thing from Brits, so I think it might be a British "French is fancy and educated", or if the speaker is from the Colonies, further mangled through "British is fancy and educated".

"With au jus" reminded me of visiting the Moorish palace in Granada, Spain. The romanized Arabic name is Al-Ḥamra, "The Red One", which is then rendered in Spanish as "La Alhambra".

And then I overheard some English speakers saying "The la alhambra".

And of course, that only leads to "Hill Hill Hill Hill".

[Dicey]

And of course, that only leads to "Hill Hill Hill Hill".

That was great. Thanks!

[BlueHouse]

there's a realtor in DC who writes very different listings.  Some people love it, others hate it.  I don't have much of an opinion on it other than I think it's tiresome to try to read more than one listing of his.   

here's an example of one of his listings:

Dream House, truly sublime, narcotic light on a fine timeless finish, hypnotic sights while your mind's eye takes flight into endlessly soaring ceiling heights, skillfully built in 2016, a custom machine outfitted with wings, gently test driven so the part you’ve been given, start living in art on a tree-lined street beneath the shadow of the dome where neighbors still greet, an amazing home, a domestic retreat, so city-central with a little village disposition.

https://realestateindc.com/node/901

Compared to the listings I see here, that's a breath of fresh air. Here, the ads are so full of grammatical errors, tropes, and words-that-don't-mean-what-they-thought-they-meant that I'm forced to conclude that many realtors ended up in that field because they weren't fit for anything else.

Good point!  I'll be grateful for the good things!

[teen persuasion]

Tow the line...

It’s “toe the line” people!

Unless they are on a footpath towing a boat up a canal.   ;-)

But that's not called a footpath, it's the towpath, obviously.  Even if mules haven't been used to tow canalboats for ages.

DH often runs along the towpath on the Erie canal, and our HS XC and track teams do, too.

[Frugal Lizard]

I was once at a restaurant in which the menu noted that a particular dish contained "orchard apples." I know apple trees do exist outside of orchards, say, as a solitary tree in someone's yard, but it's unlikely those apples would end up at a restaurant, so... it's safe to say most restaurant apples come from an orchard. It was just such an obvious attempt to get the reader to imagine an orchard with apples growing on the trees, etc. and make an emotionally-influenced decision to choose that dish -- but provided nothing useful about the flavor or the way the dish was cooked.

Also annoying... anything described as "fresh" at a restaurant. Assuming it's not dehydrated or somehow otherwise preserved for long-term storage... shouldn't "fresh" go without saying?!

Oooh, this reminds me of one of my favourite stories.

I was at an event with a bunch of diplomatic staff, and chatting with one of the douchiest men I've ever met. Anyhoo, he finds out my family is from Denmark and then proceeds to educate me that pickled herring is popular in Denmark (oh wow, I didn't know that about my own culture), but that he only eats it when over there because you just can't get it fresh here.

...Pickled

...Herring

......PICKLED!

ROFL

[RetiredAt63]

Tow the line...

It’s “toe the line” people!

Unless they are on a footpath towing a boat up a canal.   ;-)

But that's not called a footpath, it's the towpath, obviously.  Even if mules haven't been used to tow canalboats for ages.

DH often runs along the towpath on the Erie canal, and our HS XC and track teams do, too.

My brain in Covid, no vocabulary.

So they tow the line (line is a term for rope, right) walking along the towpath.  Or as at Upper Canada Village, have a horse hitched up to the towline.

Somehow I think whoever used "tow the line" when they meant "toe the line" has no clue about towing and towpaths.   ;-)

[solon]

"Where are my composters at?"

I can't even bring myself to open that thread.

[Dicey]

"Where are my composters at?"

I can't even bring myself to open that thread.

Ditto.

[Metalcat]

"Where are my composters at?"

I can't even bring myself to open that thread.

Ditto.

Wait, why?

[Travis]

"That's a bumper sticker."

I started hearing that phrase only a month ago and I'm already tired of it. It means something like "that's not a real answer and it's more like a cheap sales pitch."  I heard it in three separate meetings in a single week this month.  I'm guessing someone in corporate America invented it recently and now everyone wants to use it. 

[solon]

"Where are my composters at?"

I can't even bring myself to open that thread.

Ditto.

Wait, why?

Because of the odd construction. Because of the implication that the composters belong to the speaker. Because of the ganster/hip hop vibe.

And it's not just that one thread. I've seen that construction more than one place and it just feels wrong.

To be clear, I don't have anything against composters. Some of the nicest people I know are composters.

[Paul der Krake]

Every respectable Original Gangster knows that the allowed constructions are:
"Where are my composters?", or
"Where my composters at"

No half measures.

[Metalcat]

"Where are my composters at?"

I can't even bring myself to open that thread.

Ditto.

Wait, why?

Because of the odd construction. Because of the implication that the composters belong to the speaker. Because of the ganster/hip hop vibe.

And it's not just that one thread. I've seen that construction more than one place and it just feels wrong.

To be clear, I don't have anything against composters. Some of the nicest people I know are composters.

But, it's AAE grammar, which is not incorrect, it's a legitimate and very, very old dialect where the structure is heavily influenced by British English dialects from the 1600s.

However, if your point is that you assume that the OP doesn't speak AAE and is culturally appropriating, then that's a different matter.

The Cajun "Krewe de Feu" title isn't incorrect either.

[sui generis]

Every respectable Original Gangster knows that the allowed constructions are:
"Where are my composters?", or
"Where my composters at"

No half measures.

I was gonna say just this!  The "are" and the "at" are functionally redundant.  You only need one and using both is cringe-inducing.

[Morning Glory]

Every respectable Original Gangster knows that the allowed constructions are:
"Where are my composters?", or
"Where my composters at"

No half measures.

I was gonna say just this!  The "are" and the "at" are functionally redundant.  You only need one and using both is cringe-inducing.

I thought the combination was cute.

[Morning Glory]

"Where are my composters at?"

I can't even bring myself to open that thread.

Ditto.

Wait, why?

Because of the odd construction. Because of the implication that the composters belong to the speaker. Because of the ganster/hip hop vibe.

And it's not just that one thread. I've seen that construction more than one place and it just feels wrong.

To be clear, I don't have anything against composters. Some of the nicest people I know are composters.

But, it's AAE grammar, which is not incorrect, it's a legitimate and very, very old dialect where the structure is heavily influenced by British English dialects from the 1600s.

However, if your point is that you assume that the OP doesn't speak AAE and is culturally appropriating, then that's a different matter.

The Cajun "Krewe de Feu" title isn't incorrect either.

It struck me a while back that I ought not to have capitalized "towards" in my journal title either, because one does not capitalize prepositions in titles (at least in apa format). If that was someone's term paper I would have been obliged to deduct a quarter of a point. I'm too tired of rules to change it. Fuck rules.

[iris lily]

Today I am bothered by the phrase “I don’t understand what you mean “ when I am quite sure that is a passive aggressive way to say “I disagree with you. “

People! Just say you disagree. There will always be conflicting opinions! It is ok. If both of us have already stated our case then we disagree and that’s fine let’s Move on. When someone says literally “I don’t understand what you mean “that could be an invitation to restate my case but what is the pint of me blabbering on again?. And granted many times it is sincerely said.

But too often it’s not. Passive aggressive stuff makes me crazy Although I suspect in some cases people say that to be polite And I guess that’s OK, I just cannot relate to it.